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Looks like somebody made a boom-boom in his didy.
Same Trump, different day.

Lost amidst all the news about how Donald Trump is a super duper coward who’s making barely veiled death threats against Hillary Clinton because he can’t handle that he’s losing to a girl (that’s what Elizabeth Warren tweeted and we’re stickin’ to it) has been some other news about Campaign 2016! It ALSO involves Trump being a goddamned coward, big surprise.

We told you last week that Trump has been trying to weasel out of doing debates with Hillary Clinton, because he is a scaredy baby with tiny hands. He’s done this, in part, by making up lies about the NFL sending him letters begging to have the debate times changed, because #footballreasons. Hillary’s campaign, for its part, has said, “Yes, we will debate Donald Trump, because we are a grown-up running for president, and also we ain’t scared like he is.” The campaign added, “AWWWWWW, IS THE BABY GONNA CRY BECAUSE OF HILLARY?” Maybe not verbatim, but that was the general tone of the statement.

Well NOW, Trump has told Time magazine in a phone interview that OK, OK, OK, he will do the debates, but he wants to be able to set the rules and pick the moderators and have his ass licked and make sure there are no hard questions, and moreover, if everybody doesn’t declare him the winner immediately, then the debates probably shouldn’t even count:

Donald Trump said Tuesday that he will commit to three debates this fall with Democratic rival Hillary Clinton, but may try to re-negotiate the terms that have been agreed upon by a bipartisan commission.

“I will absolutely do three debates,” Trump told TIME in a phone interview. “I want to debate very badly. But I have to see the conditions.” […]

“I renegotiated the debates in the primaries, remember? They were making a fortune on them and they had us in for three and a half hours and I said that’s ridiculous,” Trump said. “I’m sure they’ll be open to any suggestions I have, because I think they’ll be very fair suggestions. But I haven’t [seen the conditions] yet. They’re actually presented to me tonight.”

Trump said he reserved the right to object to the commission’s choice of moderators, which have not yet been announced. […]

“I’ll have to see who the moderators are. Yeah, I would say that certain moderators would be unacceptable, absolutely,” Trump said. “I did very well in the debates on the primaries. According to the polls, I won all of them. So I look forward to the debates. But, yeah, I want to have fair moderators … I will demand fair moderators.”

Donald Trump is SURE they’ll want to negotiate with him, because presidential debates are just like primary debates, and we’re sure the nonpartisan folks from the Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) can’t wait to hear the whining of the losing candidate who’s losing, about how it’s all so UNFAIIIIIIIIR.

Because what if they bring in a scary lady like Megyn Kelly again, and she bleeds from her wherevers all over him by quoting him directly or something? That would force the thin-skinned Donald to have a very embarrassing temper tantrum that would drive his polls even lower than they are, and those low poll numbers — probably fake poll numbers, pffffft — would just be proof that the debates are RIGGED, RIGGED, RIGGED, RIGGED!!!!!!!!!!111!

[Time]

 

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  • Indiepalin

    The woman in the Verizon Wireless commercial might make a good moderator.

    • arglebargle

      I’d watch anything Milana Vayntrub was doing. Might not actually catch too much of the dialog though.

      • wurman

        Der Trumpenfuehrer would not be able to keep his lyin’ eyes off of Ms. Vayntrub’s anatomical features.

    • FlownOver

      the Verizon Wireless commercial”? Which of the sixty gazillion did you have in mind?

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Uzbekistani girl? Putin approves.

      • Mavenmaven

        Herman Cain approves.

    • tehbaddr

      Siri calls her “the hostess with the mostest” titty skin that is!

  • beingreleased

    I want to debate very badly.

    He will, man, he will.

    • chimichanga

      right. we started a drinking game called very, very rigged. Every time Don says “very, very” or “rigged” you have to drink.
      This may be my last post in a while (28 days?). I’m probably going to rehab.

      • julienne58

        Holy crap, dude. You are gonna die.

  • Oblios_Cap

    He’s got a point. The rules surrounding debating are so darned hard. Someone asks a question and then one person talks, and then the other. Repeat until debate is over. Bigly hard!

  • TJ Barke
  • SnarkOff

    Trump’s short list of preferred moderators includes Ivanka Trump, Melania Trump, Eric Trump and the Ghost of Dead Breitbart.

    • HanBarbara

      Also Alex Jones. And the only subjects that can be debated are Killary’s e-mails, Bills affairs, and Benghazi, Benghazi, and Benghazi.
      Also, Drumpf must approve all the questions ahead of time.
      Finally, he will be the only one allowed to speak.

      • Blank Ron

        And he’ll STILL lose.

    • The Librarian

      You forgot Dead Scalia.

  • lucidamente

    Sarah Silverman would make a fine moderator.

    • SnarkOff

      Jewish. Rejected. Next!

      • Oblios_Cap

        And female. Don’t want her to start bleeding out of anywhere, now.

      • wurman

        So is Vayntrub.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Sarah Silverman would make a fine .

    • ClarkJoe

      Every question to Trump would begin with “You’re being ridiculous.”

      • The Librarian

        Or a facepalm…..

    • Steely_Fan

      Love, love, love Sarah but I’m voting for Rachel Maddow. She would just drill the fuck out of him, and enjoy doing it.

  • Dr. Strangelove’s Child

    Who are we kidding? If he keeps this up, he won’t MAKE it to the debates.

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Quits on Sept 11th explaining it is a date that will be remembered forever as the day America lost its chance to great again. When reminded of the 2001 terrorist attacks, Trump will respond, “The 9/11 what?”

  • lucidamente

    Ivanka to moderate, Meat Loaf and Gary Busey to pose questions.

    • Groundloop

      Absolutely!

  • Señor Skwerl

    I can see the Trump-rules debate right now:

    Moderator Ivanka: “Dad, I mean Mr. Trump, being highly competent and overqualified to be president. How awesome would your presidency be and would you seek to repeal the 22nd Amendment if the people wanted you to serve a third term?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I am already laughing from my whatevers.

  • limberrat

    I am sure he will throw a fit like he did and hold “fundraisers” where the money will mysteriously sit for a few weeks until a biased reporter asks where the money is going.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Trump doesn’t seem to know the difference between entering a negotiation and issuing an ultimatum, which is typical for an immature narcissist.

    More crucially, especially when considering a person for commander in chief, he doesn’t seem to know when he’s issuing an ultimatum from a position of strength, or not.

    Sad.

  • Scooby

    If he was smart he would just hire Johnny Depp to play him at the debate.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Dr. Zaius was born to play that role!

  • BearGHAZI

    It’s a known science fact that girls fight super dirty

  • Jenny

    This asshole gets negotiations in everything because he is a rich asshole.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH A TERRORIST!

  • Mpeg

    ♫”Goin’ to the candidates’ debate/
    Laugh about it, shout about it
    When you’ve got to choose?
    Any way you look at it – – YOU LOSE!”♫

  • limberrat

    So is Trump going to be demanding to be the debate moderator? It would be hilarious watching him ask a question, run back on stage to answer, and then run back to ask another.

    • Suttree

      Artist’s conception of Trump answering a question.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Donald to his poll numbers: “You win again, gravity!”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I really, REALLY want to call this ass-clown a “pussy” but it would be an insult to all women’s “no-no” areas!!! I would love to see this shit hole hammered on live television during a debate. As a matter of fact I just got an erection just thinking about it. And if he backs out the Dems should loudly label him a COWARD!!!

    • Shan the Libtart

      If that’s what gets your motor revved up, your wife will TOTALLY be knocked up by the election!

      • kindness

        Depends how much shit hole hammering goes on me thinks.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …haven’t got her that drunk yet

          • Groundloop

            And you haven’t employed the time honoured “Well, if you really loved me you’d…” strategy?

            Sad!

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …geez, and she has totally been on the “lets give my son a sibling” rant for the last 6 months.

        • Major_Major_Major

          I have a teenager I would be glad to lend you until school starts for a trial run if you and AngryBlakWife so desire.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …I was a complete asshole from 14 until 17 and I know how bad it can get.

          • Major_Major_Major

            He’s actually a really good kid, but still a teenager, so it happens. I wish I had been half as well behaved as he is.

          • cmd

            Most negative traits I see in Trump, I am glad my kid grew out of.

        • Shan the Libtart

          It’s a terrible job, but someone…

          …no wait…

    • Señor Skwerl

      “pussy” in that sense refers to a frightened little kitten. But kittens don’t want to be associated with Trump either.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Go on…
      I’m popping lady wood thinking about Hillary demolishing him during a debate!
      What are you wearing?

      • calliecallie

        Khakis?

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …lolz

        • Vegan and Tiara

          No, silly…HITLER!!!!

    • Aquaria

      We already know HRC will nail his nads to a rusted burnt out car engine, and then send it off a cliff.

      • wurman

        New rules . . . tag team. Hilz turns to her left and says “You take this one Liz, I need to file my nails.” Then Der Trumpenfuehrer turns right to Chris Christie and says “Duck, she’s got a tomahawk.”

  • Beowoof14

    Yeah Trump wants to debate, someone much smarter than his republican opponents, Yeah that’s the ticket.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    His keen intellect has a way of shutting these things down.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Preznancy only occurs from legitimate debate.

  • ManchuCandidate

    https://media.giphy.com/media/73FzKOYDpp7VK/giphy.gif
    This is how I see the debates play out (Wil E playing the role of “The Donald”.)

    Even the Narcissist knows that any debate will do much damage to to his (delusional self) rep as the Yoogest, Most Classiest and Smartest guy in the room.

  • beingreleased

    Why don’t you ever report good news about the Trump campaign? Like how he’s making a killing off it. They brought in $80 million in July and aren’t spending it on commercials or campaign staff or pretty much anything. This is how winners can make a profit off a campaign: get rubes to send you lots of cash.

    • HanBarbara

      Small donations are the ticket. Big donors would actually insist on accountability. Don the Con will be unpleasantly surprised to find that there are laws regarding the spending of campaign cash. Feeble and poorly enforced as they are, they were designed for grifters like him.
      The way he’s going, he’ll end up in a trailer park, after his stay in the D’Nesh Halfway House.

    • Banrion

      Did any evidence ever surface that he had actually forgiven his personal loans to the campaign? Or was that all talk with no follow through?

  • RandomNameAllocated

    I suggest you ask Jeremy Paxman (BBC) to moderate the discussions – he’d be impartial and on past history would repeat the question up to 14 times until he was answered…

    • Vegan and Tiara

      God, I would love it if our spineless American journalists would do that.

    • Trouble is Paxo sneers at everyone.

      • Aquaria

        Good.

        Hillary can handle that, but Trump not so much.

  • goonemeritus

    Well to be fair Hilary does know stuff about things so it really isn’t fair.

  • The Librarian

    Of course Trump’s worried, hence all those “conditions”. He will come off looking even more ridiculous than he already has. The only reason he “won” (loosely defined) any primary debate was that his opponents were just as bad, if not worse. Plus, he just talked over them.

    Trump: No substance, weak, loser.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Also, the GOP primary audiences were composed of total morons, idiots, racists, hayseeds, hicks, rubes, and dolts. He won’t get cheered when he suggests his opponent get “second amendmented.”

    • kareemachan

      I suggest we make sure that nobody talks over anybody else with one of those anti-bark collars. Donald starts to blather on about something and ZZZT! “Now
      Donnie, Hillary was speaking here. You’ll get your turn in a minu – ” ZZZT!

      • AngryKatie

        I read about a study on controlling people’s actions through brain waves. The test subjects wore special headsets, and researchers were able to make them turn left or right by sending a signal to it.

        I love the idea of Trump uncontrollably spinning throughout the debate because they send a “turn right” command every time he lies, and a “turn left” every time he tries to interrupt.

    • FlownOver

      IIRC, in 2008 one of the candidates proposed ditching one of the debates. The public reaction was not good news for John McCain.

  • Joe Beese
    • kareemachan

      Please tell me the large form is a stuffed toy. Otherwise, that’s a very dead animal there….

      And OMG, that is one energetic cute weasel!

      And thanks, now I’ve spent a good 15 minutes watching Ozzie videos and one cute one about a fox getting his belly scritched.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Also the baby skunk video. Damn, we’re easily distracted.

        • kindness

          Squirrel!

    • tehbaddr

      ZOMG weasel indeed!

  • Suttree

    He hasn’t seen the terms yet? What the fuck is he expecting? Types of bathing suits that can worn? Acceptable talent portion skills?

    • SeekingBarbie

      Bathroom breaks.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The people who would rather watch Saints vs. Falcons instead probably don’t vote anyway.

    • AngryKatie

      My mom is a Falcons fan, and it would be a stretch to say she wants to watch their games. In recent years, it’s more accurate to say she feels a sense of obligation.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I admit I would probably check in on Julio Jones occasionally.

      • Blank Ron

        As a life-long Toronto Maple Leafs fan, I understand completely.

        • Vienna Woods

          Oh, you poor, poor dear. Mind you, being a Habs fan has been pretty rough lately, also, too, but…. 1993 vs 1967

          • Blank Ron

            I know. The Leafs are, I believe, the only NHL team to have never won a Stanley Cup in colour.

          • Vienna Woods

            Hey, hot enough for you? 33 degrees at noon- and that’s without the humidex. Fuuuuck. And last night’s storms passed us right by, so I have to water my garden tonight.

          • Blank Ron

            yeah, and I’m still running around outside doing things like an idiot. I wish, oh, how I wish, I knew why the hell I moved down here from the cool, wet North in the first place.

          • Vienna Woods

            We got AC installed at the end of July, and I can now actually function. Bliss! And the heat rash in my elbows is gone.

          • Blank Ron

            Good. Trying to live down here without it is insane. I cannot imagine how people farther south manage, year in and year out.

          • Vienna Woods

            My 90 yr old mother refuses to get it. Hey, guess what? 2 weeks ago she ended up in emerg from heat and dehydration.

          • Blank Ron

            Ye gods… I hope she’s doing better now.

          • Aquaria

            Now you know how we feel in Texas. Right now, it’s almost 34 at noon. It will be 39 before the day is out. But it’s August. That’s simply how things are here.

  • Mavenmaven

    I assume he’s going to demand that the debate hall be open carry.

    • HanBarbara

      Or the debaters, in which case my money would be on Hillary, with her nerves of steel.

  • (((JustPixelz)))

    When he quits (like a common Palin) he will say could of won if the system wasn’t rigged by stupid, stupid people.

    • I’m worried about Sarah. Actually the whole damn clan has been too quiet.

      • tehbaddr

        Full family Rehab?

    • coastal_66

      like Berners do?

  • Duke

    Wonkette needs to put a countdown to voting on its front page. Helps to build excitement.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Or at least a countdown to cocktail hour.

      • Malaclypse

        that’s an easy one:
        /start counter
        0:00.00.
        /end counter

      • Duke

        Is that when the last polls close?

    • SDGeoff

      Like the clocks on CNN that tell you when something you’ve never heard of is going to be broadcast in three days.

      • Reddishrabbit

        The Green Bay City Council 2nd District Green Party Primary Debate
        13:54:21…13:54:20…14:54:19

    • Vienna Woods
      • Duke

        It has been an amazing political season.

  • AngryKatie

    What, besides the moderator, is there to “negotiate?”

    The debate commission needs to publish whatever demands he presents. I think there is a public interest in knowing if, for example, he insists on approving questions in advance, or otherwise trying to tweak the rules so he doesn’t end up looking like the ill-prepared ill-equipped man-baby that he is.

  • Rock Drummer

    10 to 1 says trump does at least one debate. 15 to 1 says his shit gets baked by the future POTUS. 50 to 1 says he runs away to trumpland land with his ass on fire. 100 to 1 says he does no more debates.

    • kindness

      What you bet Trump demands the first debate take place in a Hooters?

  • Spotts1701

    Um, to negotiate you need something called “leverage” first. The CPD can just tell you to pound sand, and you can wail about “unfairness” and “rigged” all you want, Donald. But your tiresome “I can negotiate my way out of anything” routine is worthless if you have nothing to bargain with.

    • Logic of Color

      Good point. He needs the debates more than the debates need him.

  • SDGeoff

    Why would he care about what in politics passes for a debate? It’s just another glorified press conference but with opposing candidates present.
    Oh yeah…the press.

  • Duke

    Sum Roolz:

    No questions about countries with strange names
    No questions based on facts
    No moderators who think he should provide answers
    Flags behind Donald, only.

    • Spotts1701

      CGI horns and wreaths of flames must be present whenever Clinton is on camera.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      No display, mention or implication of human hands, because that might hurt his feelings.

  • baconzgood

    Trump: I wanna pick the moderator

    CPD: We wanna muffin dive on Catherine Zeta Jones, but neither are happening buddy.

  • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

    Drumpf’s choice for moderators: Sean Hannity, Alex Jones, Milo Yiannopolis.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    So, has Trump Tower installed that massive safety net off the side of the building yet?

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      I hope it’s designed and installed by the same scumbags who built that giant water slide in Kansas.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I hope it’s a Trump-branded product.

  • Joe Beese

    Allahpundit, whose coverage of the Republican primaries I respected, thinks Donald is sure to show.

    Realistically, there’s no way he passes on the debates now. A month ago, trailing by three points nationally, he might have reasonably calculated that debating one-on-one on a big stage would end up doing him more harm than good by revealing that he’s not prepared on policy. You can play conservatively in that scenario and find a pretext for saying no. Now, down 8-10 points in many polls, the game has changed. For the moment, Trump is facing the equivalent of trailing by two touchdowns with three minutes to play. He’ll have to start taking risks to have a chance and the only opportunity for a gamechanger that’s within his own control are the debates. if he passes on them anyway, he’s either all but forfeiting the election or conceding that he fears he might do so badly that Clinton’s already huge lead would grow afterwards.

    He’ll be there, if for no other reason than that Donald Trump, of all people, isn’t going to turn down an audience of 75 million people. They could turn the debates into a dance-off and he’d show up for national attention on that scale. Besides, no matter how worried he and his team might be about him not knowing his stuff, his speeches have had some solid, memorable lines positioning Clinton and free-traders from both parties as enemies of the working man. Even if he turns every question into an opportunity to recite unrelated talking points about her, that’ll still work to his advantage. If just a third of the viewing audience is willing to let their vote be influenced by the debates, that’s still 25 million votes that Trump could move in theory. Clinton’s lead now is probably as big as it can get and may well shrink organically before the first debate, putting him in a position to make a major play for the lead with a good performance. He really has nothing to lose at this point.

    http://hotair.com/archives/2016/08/09/clinton-agrees-to-all-three-presidential-debates-as-media-worries-trump-wont-show/

    • Vegan and Tiara

      “He really has nothing to lose at this point.”

      I was going to say “he still has his dignity to lose” but he’s already proved that his dignity is non-existent.

    • Lizzietish81

      Well his fans will see him humiliated by a woman who will start using flash cards so he can follow her.

      And will declare him a winner anyways.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Betting on Trump to do the right thing rarely pays off.

    • Slithytoves

      That’s all predicated on the now dubious assumption that he actually wants to be president.

  • therblig

    will they allow calculators for the math questions?

    • Suttree

      That’s what he has the guys with the funny hats for.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Trump will probably insist that Sean Hannity, Scottie Nell Hughes, Rudy Giuliani, and Andre (“closet case”) Bauer be the moderators. Chris Christie will be assigned to get snacks and drinks for Donald.

  • kindness

    The Donald won’t debate Hillary. He’ll weasel out somehow and blame Hillary for his cowardice. Of course, his cowardice is kinda smart because as we all see now, Hillary would wipe the floor clean with Donald (and his little tiny hands).

    • John Smith

      Fear is the better part of Valor!

      Wait… What?

      • snigsy

        Trump doesn’t know what discretion means.

  • bubbuhh

    It’s virtually certain that he will debate bigly badly. Sad. Weak, too.

    • PubOption

      He did say that he wanted to debate very badly, which, I imagine, is exactly what he will do.

  • dslindc

    I can’t wait to find out about his favorite color and which things he will name after Reagan!

  • ClarkJoe

    Preview of Trump at the first debate:

    http://i.imgur.com/3X0KnbH.gif

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Trump has just a few demands:

    1) Ivanka is the moderator, she’s terrific, have you seen her legs?
    2) No ladies’ bathroom in the building, that’s disgusting!
    3) 2nd Amendment People should be seated in the front row with their guns, maybe they can do something, I don’t know.

  • bubbuhh

    Bet Trump wishes all the news comments were about that time he said titties.

  • proudgrampa

    She is gonna wipe the floor with this guy.

    • Duke

      Actually, I think he’ll do himself in. She’ll be cool and informed. He’ll stammer, bluster and make things up.

      • SisterArtemis

        It’ll be like the that 11-hour hearing before Congress, but with better camera angles and backdrops

    • Blank Ron

      Floor, walls, the podiums, maybe even a few of the cars parked outside…

  • folderol

    I think, in the end, Trump will choose to debate with himself. Like Stephen Colbert used to.

  • orygoon

    Gosh, someone might watch and notice that he’s not quite presidential.

    • FlownOver

      In the same sense the sea is not quite above the sky.

      • Aquaria

        Haven’t you seen a map? Look at where Antacarticaca is and where the sky is!

        Checkmate, libtard!

        /s

  • Juan de Fuca

    If this guy was president, I could see him asking for a bonus to attend the G8 summit.

  • Lizzietish81

    Of course keep in mind that Hillary did well in the primary debates as well. Finally we’ll see them side by side, a loud mouthed idiot next to a woman of poise and dignity who apparently has magic powers that let’s her kill men with email.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And let’s also keep in mind who Trump was debating… They certainly weren’t A-Team caliber candidates.

    • Duke

      Trump did well by throwing insults at weenies who hoped someone else would deal with him and then they stooped to his level.

      The seven dwarves (or whatever) should have refused to debate with him.

      • cmd

        The only one who might have been a challenge for him was Lindsey Graham but I don’t think they were ever on the same stage — unless there was one in the beginning where everyone was up there. I’ve blocked a lot of it from my memory.

        • jmhm

          In retrospect, that’s kind of heartbreaking. I would have loved to see Trump get mopped up by a diminutive metrosexual southerner with a perfectly genteel instinct for the jugular.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I want to know who plays Trump in Hillary’s practice debates. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog?

    • Vecchiojohn

      Except Triumph is funny.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      The drunkest, most belligerent whino they can rouse from the old man bar down the street?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hey!!

    • Duke

      Yeah, but he’s clever.

      Maybe a loud-mouthed slob from the local bar.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Damn, that was my line! Unfair to me, I refuse to debate you.

    • AngryKatie
    • Sardonicuss

      “The second amendment people are going to take care of you Hillary…….I keed!…I keed!”

    • Laura911

      Roger Clinton?

    • I nominate our very own Hairstrike Alpha.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Absolutely! Wonder if anyone on the campaign stops by here.

    • calliecallie

      Carrot Top? Howard Stern?

    • artem1s

      They need a derp version of Luther, the anger translator.

    • JoseAmerica

      I think Obama should do it just because it seems like he would find it *hilarious*. I have no doubt he has a killer Trump impression he pulls out with his staff.

      Also, I’d love someone to film it. And release it to the public.

  • anna rampage

    Lets see, it’s been 0 days since Donald Turnip say some outrageous bullshit that brought the hammer down upon his campaign, do you think he might make it to 1 today?

    • Duke

      I think he had one over the weekend. He must have taken the day of from campaigning.

      • artem1s

        some staffer wrestled the Twit machine out of his hands for 48 hours cause the GOP wanted him to cool it on attacking the Khan family.

  • Vecchiojohn

    Don’t worry, Donny. She’ll probably die of one of the many fatal illnesses she has before the first debate.

  • Joshua Norton

    I want to debate very badly.

    No probs Big D. That’s the only way you actually can debate.

  • M Dubs

    Sad as it is to say, I don’t think the debates are going to be the knockout punch everyone seems to think they will be. Trump skated through the primary debates by just keeping up his method of speaking without saying anything. He clearly isn’t held to the same standards as any other political candidate, so as long as he doesn’t visibly defecate his supporters will spin it as a win. In fact, his supporters seem hardened enough to dealing with Trump’s embarassing gaffes that even visible defecation might not shake them.

    Meanwhile, we can virtually guarantee comments about Hillary’s voice sounding ‘shrill’ or ‘angry’.

    Then again, I seem to be quite bad at predicting current events, so who knows?

    • I Only Like Cats

      Thankfully it’s not his diehard supporters (the neonazis and fascists they are) we’re trying to convince.

      • M Dubs

        That makes me wonder about the demographics of people who watch the debates. I know they get big viewership ratings, but I would guess that there’s pretty much no undecided voters tuning in to watch.

        • coastal_66

          In the recent past, there have been plenty of ‘undecided’ voters watching.

    • I’d love to see him walk out on the stage, pull down his pants, take a big dump, shout I WIN. And run off the stage right after being announced.

      • BrayingAssSez

        Oh, sure, energize his supporters.

      • tehbaddr

        Not enough, he has to fling his poo about, scream in rage, then declare that he wins! / exit stage left

  • DerrickWildcat

    Pretty much what Bobby Fischer did to Boris Spassky in Reykjavík.

    • G. Kasparov tweets against Trump quite often. Well, everybody does.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Trump doesn’t have to debate, he is soooo clearly winning!!1!!1! Just look at the Facebook likes!!1!!1!! And all my friends on the Trump Reddit (after we purge those who disagree with us) are voting for Trump!!!1!!!!1!!! Clinton will be desperate to debate since she is so clearly losing. Now if only I could tell the pollster the truth.

    • Logic of Color

      Don’t forget that lots of people are saying that he’s got this thing in the bag, too.

      • Bren

        His colostomy bag?

  • Vegan and Tiara

    People are saying that Donald is going to get his ass kicked by a girl.

  • Vecchiojohn

    ? Bravely brave Sit Donald ran away??

    • Skadi

      And they were forced to eat Scott Baio, and there was much rejoicing.

  • I Only Like Cats

    Has anyone tried swathing him and putting him down for a nap?

    • Gentle Robot

      swaddling
      goddammit how old are you people 19

      • I Only Like Cats

        They’re actually synonyms (check the online thesaurus), and the rules of writing states, “avoid cliches like the plague”. Also, yes, I have states several times, I am, in fact, 19. Thanks for remembering (my birthday is in November).

        • MississippiLefty

          Wait, you’re 19? So this is your first presidential? That’s so exciting!

          • I Only Like Cats

            It’ll be exciting in a scary way if Trump wins!

        • Serai 1

          Calling something what it is isn’t a cliche.

    • Slavakitty

      Swathe him in shrink wrap. And instead of airholes, lots and lots of votes.

      • artem1s

        Bubby says cling wrap him!

        • SisterArtemis

          I really don’t think she gets enough credit for the hair accessories

  • natoslug

    Sorry, but I can’t read the first excuse that he comes up with. It usually takes three or four iterations before he settles on the lie he is happiest with. In this case, my prediction is that Clinton emailed him and asked that they not debate, and we would know it if she hadn’t deleted all those emails, then Vince Benghazi’d the staffer who fostered their debate breakup. Let me know once we’ve made it past the “LOL, JK” stage and the “believe me” stage.

  • Joshua Norton

    I did very well in the debates on the primaries

    Have any of your butt-kissing yes-men sat you down and explained that primaries aren’t the actual election. It’s easy to be a “winner” when all you have to do is spout ideological gibberish to you base.

    • cmd

      Plus he considers “winning” a debate either getting high TV ratings, or some poll saying he “won.”

    • Slavakitty

      Shhh! He might hear you!

  • beatbort

    List of debate questions approved by Donald J. Trump:
    How do you get such hot women to be your wives?
    What’s your favorite American meal?
    If you went out on a blind date, who do you hope it would be?
    Was Ronald Reagan a great president or the greatest president?

    • M Dubs

      What will you make America again?
      What do you think is your best quality?
      What’s up with Hillary, amiright?

    • theblackdog

      So Howard Stern will be the moderator?

  • Sardonicuss

    Remember the Biden / Palin “debate” , where tundra Barbie just ignored every question and recited memorized lies until her time was up?
    Trump will adopt a similar tactic, except less memorizing and more stream of insane consciousness.
    I like the shock collar idea.

    • Kavefish

      I hope they provide the URL for the shock collar before the debate actually begins. I’d like to set a bookmark.

      • Sardonicuss

        Hah. Drumph wouldn’t survive the introductions.

    • Serai 1

      A nice big red light with a klaxon on Donald’s podium would suffice. Every time he goes off the rails, the moderator could set it off.

  • Ms.MLG1979

    Those Derp Bench debates didn’t prepare him for anything. Anyone can stand on a stage and go on about Gawd, Gunz, Lies, Winning, Hand Size, The Evils of Brown People and Vaginas, Walls, Bullshit and Fake Patriotism and Family Values.

    • Blank Ron

      Especially when the entire Klown Kar agrees with you anyway.

    • theblackdog

      Also wasn’t the 3 hour debate because they had the Klown Kar of eleventy billion candidates to talk to/

    • Serai 1

      Especially when he’s debating the Three Fucking Stooges.

  • VforV, I’m with Her!

    “I want to debate very badly …”

    Oh, you will, Donnie. You will.

  • Blank Ron

    So very much will depend on the moderator. I don’t see him doing well whoever is selected, but a moderator who knows how debates are supposed to work will prevent Drumpf from using his usual tactics, forcing him to actually answer questions and to STFU when his time is up.
    Is this too much to hope for? I really want the answer to be ‘no.’

    • Ima Witstüp

      Not-commenter Rock Drummer, below, might give you some good odds on that.

    • Sardonicuss

      Given Candy Crowley is still taking shit for simply pointing out Obama had actually said something Mittbot said he hadn’t….hopes are not high.

      • Serai 1

        The GOP isn’t in the position to whine quite so loudly this time.

      • SisterArtemis

        Proceed, Mr. Trump…

  • Brian

    The only acceptable moderators are Scottie Nell Hughes and Corey Lewandowski. Two truly unbiased real news people.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Jeffrey Lord libel!

  • The Wanderer

    I’m hoping that the CPD will stand firm and tell him that he can’t have things his own way. And I’d like to see Zombie Edward R. Murrow as moderator.

  • Fartknocker

    I think Donald is forgetting that Hillary sat through 11 hours of bullshit hearings over Benghazi, so she already has far more practice than the Orange haired shitgobblin. And unlike the debates, it’s one-on-one, so Donald cannot use his vast experience as a media manipulator in this scenario.

    • Courser

      I hope he has a meltdown and marches off in a snit about half-way through the first debate.

    • artem1s

      I wouldn’t put it past him to demand changes that will neutralize the one-on-one problem. maybe he’ll demand some sort of bizarre retooling of the ‘debate’ format…refuse to sit in the same room, try to phone it in… he’s been successful at holding his breath til he gets his way in the past. difference is, he isn’t negotiating with the media. I’m betting it’s gonna be bizarre no matter what he comes up with.

      • SisterArtemis

        Hell, they could hold it with or without him – I’d love to see Hillary answer a set of really good questions; he’s just the sideshow

    • Aquaria

      Her law school experience alone gave her more debate experience than Radioactive Velveeta.

    • SisterArtemis

      I know she won’t break in front of the cameras, but imagine if she were able to hear his “responses”/word burble off camera – the looks on her face would be priceless.

    • coastal_66

      perhaps he’ll take the tried-and-true ‘debate an empty chair’ route. that worked out well for the RNC before.

  • I have no doubt that #BeckyWithTheSmallHands will debate “very badly”.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    “Go ahead, ask me anything.”
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/M85BRdRqc50/mqdefault.jpg

  • Panika MCD

    Donald Trump’s excuses for not debating are so pathetic they aren’t even worth lampooning. SAD!

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Oh yes they are!

      Listen I just want the debates to be fair, okay? These networks make a fortune from my debates. I am just that good, I win them all the polls say. I want to pick my own moderators, where we will have them and only I get the questions in advance. That’s very fair- believe me. I’ll win these debates so hard your head will spin. Crooked Hillary Clinton is weak and will never agree to debate me. Sad!

      • SisterArtemis

        At the ready to rise to any challenge!

      • Serai 1

        The really great thing is that she’d win even with those conditions.

  • Trump’s preferred moderators – Hannity, Alex Jones, Rush Limpbough, Bill O’Really?, Scotty “Kneel, Suck” Hughes, David Duke.

    Actually I have said before that he will pull the same tricks he used in the Debate of the ‘Pubes; first mouthing incomprehensible gibberish, second insulting his opponent and, third (if pressed) mugging and pulling faces for 30 seconds.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I figure debate 1 will be him yelling over Clinton and playing interupting cow….
      then he will refuse to do anymore after that.

      • The Witch of Endor

        I think your scenario is the most likely, though I still think he’s trying to find a way to weasel out of all the debates.

        • Kavefish

          An easy way to get out of the debates would be to concede the election.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Anyone else notice that when a right wing nut says “fair” what they mean is someone who likes them?

    • tomamitai

      Or dislikes their opponent more.

    • Serai 1

      When a spoiled child says “fair”.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I want Trump to demand Scott Baio as a moderator, I mean be a pal Donnie the little guy REALLY needs the work. He hasn’t held a job in like….10 years.

    • jmhm

      That’s OK. His union forced the job creators in Hollywood to give him residuals.

      • Aquaria

        He didn’t join the lawsuit to get the Happy Days residuals that had been underpaid for years, because he “didn’t trust lawyers.”

        • jmhm

          Did he piggyback the others when they won?

  • Notreelyhelping

    Maybe they could get that nice Mr. Gowdy to ask questions. He’s plumb full of ’em.

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      He’s plumb full of SOMETHING all right.

      • Serai 1

        Especially on Sunday mornings.

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Us Wonketteers should avoid feeling too cocksure about this. Remember how Gore ran rings around Bush in debates, and the conversation wasn’t that Bush was a clod, it was how Gore was such a meanie?

    Expect more of the same, only worse, this time; because too many Amerixans are ignorant, they don’t like smart people who act like they are smart, and they REALLY don’t like women or minorities who do it.

    • Agree. I’m having bouts of anxiety over this election. Needs moar meds fer sure.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Get a cat, and take a daily nap with the cat on your lap. I find it very restful, and almost as good as Valium.

        • I take anti-anxiety meds and I have a cat. Gotta up the dosage though. Too many and I turn into Mrs. Potato Head. : )

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Hot tubs are good. I don’t have one, alas! In European countries, if you are highly stressed, the National Health services will prescribe a 2-week vacation on a Mediterranean beach, all expenses paid. Alas again!

          • IKR? I’ll have to settle for the bathtub..but not today the humidity is about 100%.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Same here. Sauna Summer, we call it. I often think of my great grandmother and great-great grandmother who lived through Midwestern summers without AC while wearing a corset, petticoats and high-necked long dresses, and always pregnant, and no window screens to keep the flies and mosquitoes out of the house. Laundry day must have been hell. No wonder they died young.

      • Courser

        Here…. have some of mine, I got extra from my doc.

      • SisterArtemis

        I recommend a healthy dose of Wonkette two to three times a day, or as needed. However, if agitation lasts longer than four hours, step away from the internet machine and seek ice cream.

      • Aquaria

        I have to give up booze, but I’m supposedly getting some killer meds for the cancer.

        I’ll know on Friday what it will be.

        I’ll probably get the DTs from not having anymore Manischewitz.

        • I’m a cancer survivor (ovarian). If you are getting chemo, they may give you meds (6 of one and 4 of the other) that you are to take the next morning for nausea,etc. BUT, the first chemo nurse I had told me to take them when I got home, not wait, because once it starts, they won’t do anything to stop getting sick. I don’t know what your situation is but I could drink while on chemo-within reason.
          I wish you the best in your battle and hope all goes well. : )

    • sw19womble

      1. Running away from Clinton like a fucking pussay.
      2. Nader.
      3. Electoral “shenanigans”.
      4. Hanging chads.

      Only one of those is sort of in play this time (Nader/Stein), plus of course the Lock Her Up bullshit.

      • artem1s

        also,too Scalia = still dead!

        • SisterArtemis

          kind of like Generalissimo Francisco Franco of the early SNL years

    • Serai 1

      Bush wasn’t a raging asshole racist chauvinistic bully. It was easy for him to LOOK like he was being picked on, with his aw-shucks fake salt-of-the-earth demeanor. This is completely different. This is a guy used to winning by stomping around and throwing insults and beating his chest. There are few things people seeing more than a bully getting a beatdown.

      • Aquaria

        Well, he was a raging asshole racist chauvinistic bully (he was behind the Willie Horton ads in the 1988 campaign), but he knew how to dog whistle the fuck out of it.

  • tomamitai

    There’s only one person qualified to moderate this match-up:

  • tehbaddr

    Hey Donny you petulant little fuckstick!

    https://media4.giphy.com/media/pmMn3EaUfrHjy/200_s.gif

    • Courser

      That’s not how any of it works!!!

      LOL, I think if this many times a day when teh Donald opens his little asshole mouth.

  • SullivanSt

    “I want to debate very badly.”

    Oh I’m quite certain you will debate very badly, Duhnald. Schoolyard insults might play on a crowded stage full of intellectual adolescents moderated by Sean motherfucking Hannity, but one on one with Secretary Clinton and someone like Charlie Rose or Gwen Ifill in charge? Different story entirely.

    • sw19womble

      Of course he wants to debate very badly: he still wants the RNC to pull him before he shits the bed so badly on election day that his paper empire crumples too.

      • SullivanSt

        Debate time will be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late for withdrawing from the ballot. It’s already too late in some states. Also too late for avoiding damage to his paper empire. Poor Duhnald. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

    • Serai 1

      Is Morley Safer still around? He’d be good. Charlie Rose is too likely to laugh when Donald gets stupid. I want someone who’ll glare at him and enforce the fucking rules.

      • Aquaria

        I could try to do a summoning of my dead high school English teacher. She was the best at that I ever saw.

        I’m still scared of her and have nightmares about her, nearly 40 years later.

        • SisterArtemis

          Sounds perfect!

    • Didn’t Ifill moderate one of the debates in the primary? I seem to recall she didn’t put up with any bullshit.

      • SullivanSt

        Would you mess with Gwen Ifill? I would not mess with Gwen Ifill.

        (And yes she did. Politico described it as “distinctly PBSy” in that it was highly informative and therefore totes yawn because c’mon, penis size! This is how low our media has sunk.)

        • I would not mess with Gwen Ifill. No one is his or her right mind would do that.

  • AnOuthouse

    I hope they get that lady from CNN that made Romney cry.

    • I want to see Latrice Royale (season 4 of Rupaul’s Drag Race) moderate. She has no time for kindergarten fuckery.

  • Callyson

    But, yeah, I want to have fair moderators … I will demand fair moderators

    He’ll complain the first time one of them asks a question FFS…

  • andyshelt

    It will probably be the first Presidential debate where one of the participants has to be patted down by the Secret Service before being allowed to get on the stage!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “I did very well in the debates on the primaries.”

    Well consider who he was debating in the primaries – Bush, Carson, Cruz, Kasich and Fiorina. This is not what you would call a list of smart, articulate people.

    • SeekingBarbie

      How did he even get away with that cringe-inducing performance in the primaries? Have the moderators ever tried to justify themselves?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Well, when the monkeys started flinging shit at each other, what were the moderators supposed do??? I can forgive them for those GOP primary debates, but I do expect more for the general debates.

        • Serai 1

          They could have just told them to STOP IT and follow the rules. That’s what they’re supposed to do, after all. If you don’t have the balls to tell a presidential candidate to settle down, there are rules here, then you shouldn’t take the job in the first place.

          • SeekingBarbie

            I guess they can’t use a mic switch, but it’s a pleasant thought.

          • Serai 1

            A big red hook would be even better.

          • Aquaria

            And HRC will demand enforcement of the rules. You can bet she had color coded notes about them in a binder from 2008, and has never forgotten them.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t know the answer to either question. It’s a mystery.

    • SisterArtemis

      I suddenly miss The Herman Caine Performance Art Project … at least he could ACT presidential

  • chicken thief

    Has Roger Stone even moderated a debate before?

    • Serai 1

      I’m sure Donald would prefer Jason Miller.

  • Serai 1
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So the Desperate Donald campaign is now the political equivalent of German porn. It’s like,

    “Holy shit…that’s obscene…seriously…is that even physically possible? Okay…obviously possible but…why?”

    But you still can’t take your eyes off of it.

    • chimichanga

      Scheisse all over it.

  • chascates

    How about just submitting questions to both of them, answers limited to a half page double-spaced typewritten, and then read by actors on TV? Morgan Freeman will read Hillary’s answers and Chris Rock will read Donald’s.

    • calliecallie

      I prefer Susan Sarandon and Bobcat Goldthwait.

      • Serai 1

        Bobcat, yes. I could live another hundred years very comfortably without ever hearing Sarandon’s voice in anything other than a movie, thank you.

        • SisterArtemis

          Yeah, I’ll probably warm to her as an actress again (she was an excellent Marmie in that remake of Little Women), but she lost my respect this election cycle. Maybe you’ll vote for Trump, Susan? to bring the revoltion a little quicker? Jeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzus!

    • Serai 1

      Adam Sandler should read Donald’s.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Hearing Drumf’s responses in Sandler’s voice would be doubly punishing. Sorry, I also don’t like cilantro, it’s a biological thing.

        • Serai 1

          Yes. That’s the whole point. >:D

    • artem1s

      this needs to be Shatastic! of course only Shatner could give Drumpf’s words the performance they deserve.

      • Serai 1

        No, wait! THE SHAT should moderate the debates! No way Trump would get away with any of his crap them. The Master Of The Universe is the guy to take Donald down with his witheringly acidic sarcasm.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMV1bwXyi54

        IT. WOULD. BE. ====KILLER====.

  • calliecallie

    You know who else thought he’d try to renegotiate terms?

    • SisterArtemis

      Does this mean Trump will eventually hide out somewhere in South America? because I could deal with that…

      • Khavrinen

        I could deal with it if he decided to start tomorrow…

      • eddi

        The exact opposite. He will be back on television by January.

    • ViveLaRes

      The guy I bought my house from? Long story.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    He has to set the conditions? Is he not familiar (duh, of course not) with the process for this? For example, the dates were set 11 months ago?

    Elizabeth Warren is right. He knows he’s going to get his ass kicked by a girl, and he’s terrified.

    • Serai 1

      He really thought he would just waltz in and be handed the presidency after a few speeches. It must be killing him that he could actually LOSE. And yes, to a GIRL.

      I am greatly enjoying my daily dose of Trump’s Extra Special Schadenfreude Pie. Look forward to it every morning when I wake up. And so much more to savor!

      http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Serai/Comment%20pics/pie%20chart.jpg

      • Steely_Fan

        Nice pie chart!

  • MississippiLefty

    Mr. Ssissippi Lefty is sure he will not back out of the debates. Set up low expectations, pretend they’re unfair, of course, but he has to show. It’s a dude thing, apparently? As a non-dude, I defer to my husband on the finer points of dude code.

    I also find a comment in the thread below persuasive: he won’t be able to turn down the opportunity to perform in front of such a large audience.

    He’ll show and be outclassed, but it will be “unfair” and Hillary will be “shrill” and “unlikeable.” He can totally win the debates even by losing them. He loses if he doesn’t show up.

    • SisterArtemis

      He will also be convinced (or atleast make a show of it) that his performance in the debates was steller, that he really GOT that darn Crooked Hillary this time! Nailed it! With the BEST words etc etc etc…

      • bookish

        He thinks his recent 2nd Ammendment comments were a net plus, so probably.

        • SisterArtemis

          He’s just so damn CLEVER! Everybody is saying it…

    • Serai 1

      Also (and, I believe, most importantly), if he backs out he’ll prove to the world that Obama was right about him.

      THE DONALD CANNOT TOLERATE THAT.

      Obama made fun of him. Obama must be defeated and his legacy destroyed and THE EARTH SALTED OVER IT. That’s the heart of all this, I’m absolutely convinced. There is NO WAY he’s going to back out because in his tiny little mind this is a contest against an enemy who already won years before Donald got into the fight.

    • SullivanSt

      TPM’s edblog has had a couple of thoughtful posts about it, most notably this one.

      Bottom line: it’s not likely he’ll be able to work out a way to escape them without catastrophic loss of face. But if he can, he’ll probably take it. And regardless, he’ll totally be pitching fits the next few weeks trying to change the rules in ways that will favor him.

    • eddi

      He needs those ratings numbers more than he needs the poll numbers. To Trump people watching him counts more than anything.

  • georgiaburning

    Another problem for Trump is that most of the people on the R side who’d be competent to brief and prepare him for a debate with Hillary also hate his guts.

    • SisterArtemis

      Ooooooo! suddenly had an evil thought train involving those very Haters setting him up with bad information to walk out on stage with!

      • Serai 1

        Oh, that would be GLORIOUS. Donald says something stupid based on the crap they fed him, the audience laughs, Hillary counters, and Donald has a meltdown, screaming about how his staffers will ALL BE FIRED.

    • zerosumgame0005

      oh, that could be fun!

      debate prepper who hates him: “no Mr Trump, that is pronounced Ubeck-becky-becky-stan!”

    • ViveLaRes

      This is a yoooooge problem. A large number of (and possibly ALL) competent Rs have already said they’re voting for Hillary.

      • eddi

        And the rest haven’t said anything.

    • SullivanSt

      That’s alright, he wouldn’t listen to them anyway.

  • Serai 1

    Now, we ARE all going to watch the debates together, right?

    RIGHT?

    • Shan the Libtart

      Heck, yeah! I pay for this stuff now so I want my money’s worth!

    • SeekingBarbie

      I hope so. I don’t wanna be alone.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m still trying to figure out how to get the night off… not likely, what with Fridays and Saturdays being the busiest. My alternative plan is to cheat with ear buds and hide in a corner of the studio, feigning some sort of back problem so I can turn away clients…

    • SisterArtemis

      It’s only two weeks away – we better start getting our bingo cards and “DRINK!” cues figured out

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Now don’t be reckless and decide to drink every time he lies! Make it specific, or you’ll hurt yourself.

        • If we all drink every time he lies, Wonkette will be deserted for days, what with us all being hospitalized with alcohol poisoning.

          • eddi

            Every time Hillary has to say, “Shut up Donnie, the adults are talking.” drink. That should result in a pleasant buzz.

        • SisterArtemis

          And yet if we were to only drink when he manages to spit out a truthy thing, we won’t even make it to the bottom of the glass.

          I suggest dogwhistles, fave repeated words like YUUUGE and TREMENDOUS!, and his eyerolls. We should be able to get good and schnockered, without actually ending up in the ER

          • UnsaltedSinner

            Stay away from “believe me”.

      • SullivanSt

        September 26th is the first debate. I make that nearly seven weeks. I didn’t sleep through August again did I?

      • Serai 1

        I thought the first one was going to be in September.

    • This is literally the first time in my life that I have been eager to watch a Presidential debate.

      • SisterArtemis

        I was pretty into the Obama/Romney debates, and was well-rewarded in the “Proceed, Governor” one

        I went to a watch party for one of the Obama/McCain ones, with a group of Democrats who I did not know – Obama was kind of awful, and our host retreated into her bedroom quite distressed about 30 minutes in. That was weird!

        • coastal_66

          yes, “proceed, Governor” was a beautiful moment, and a prelude to Obama’s second term. a great “give ’em enough rope” moment.

    • Hardly Ideal

      *glances conspicuously at the door* Sure…

      Then again, I remember the last one went pretty well:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AreTsuFUOs

  • ViveLaRes

    Trump will want John Miller or John Barron to moderate and when they can’t be located, Roger Stone will say Hillary killed them.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m wondering how far he’s going to push this.

    If he does chicken out, of course he’ll declare that Hillary is the chicken for not agreeing to whatever demands he’s made.

    • Hardly Ideal

      At this point in the election and in our history, I just can’t be surprised anymore. If we can think it, it’ll probably come to pass sooner or later.

    • coastal_66

      you mean like Bernie’s campaign did?

      • Bitter Scribe

        Oh ugh. As much as I ended up being annoyed by Bernie, those two are not even in the same universe when it comes to awfulness.

  • JoseAmerica

    If he pulls out of the debates, then we will be treated to 3 prime-time, hour-long commercials from Clinton in which she takes questions from a moderator and gets to explain, uncontested, why she would not only be the right choice for president, but why everyone should vote for Democrats up and down the ballot, too.

    So that will be fun.

    • badphairy

      I’d still rather watch that than Trump actually debating.

    • neuterable

      That would be a good way to get her to finally give a news conference, instead of hiding in her closet growing twelve inch toenails.

    • coastal_66

      sounds good to me

  • jmk

    ““I will absolutely do three debates,” Trump told TIME in a phone interview. “I want to debate very badly.”

    Don’t worry, Donnie… you will.

  • Zyxomma

    Entirely OT, some young redhead is trying to climb Trump Tower, and has to clean as he goes: http://abcnews.go.com/US/man-spotted-scaling-side-trump-tower-york/story?id=41278389

    • eddi

      A Trump fan trying to get some publicity.

  • bookish
    • eddi

      Not like that’s surprising or anything. Expect three policy speeches by Clinton. And three rants from a safe distance by Trump.

      • Gregory Brown

        All Hillary needs is a few zingers and an assortment of eyerolls, and Trump will decompensate all over himself.

  • phoenix00

    What’s the wager on the “moderator” being Milo Yiannopoulos and the “rules” exactly the same as his reddit “AMA”?

  • Criswell Weatherman

    Yes he wants to debate VERY BADLY because VERY BADLY is the only way he is able to debate.

    • Gregory Brown

      I see what you did there, you wordsmith, you!

  • Siegfried Heydrich

    Moderators? How about Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and Seth Myers?

    • Gregory Brown

      That would be awesome. Or Jon Stewart!

      • Maybe

        Or Samantha Bee.

    • They picked a moderator who is paid by the Clinton Foundation.

  • Maybe

    The only surprise is that Trump is aware enough to realize what’s going to happen to him if he debates Clinton.

  • neuterable

    The Debates should be aired at a time when as many people as possible are watching. The debates should also be long enough that Hillary has one of her Seizures and the only person standing close enough to catch her when she falls is Trump. Then he should say the reason he let her fall off the stage is his hands were too small and she was too slippery.

  • svejk

    memo to der drumpf: you can run, but you can’t hide.

  • Crooked, lying, and sick Hillary already has one of Bill’s employees at the Clinton Foundation picked for moderator and a non-traditional debate format where the candidates are never both on the stage at the same time and cannot speak to each other.

    Crooked lying sick Hillary manipulating as always.

  • Jeff

    Hey all you Cucks, your sick old corrupt candidate is too weak to even give press conferences, so dream on. This is going to be fun to watch, If Crooked Hillary can step up to the podium without having to be carried, she’s going to have to actually speak in an unscripted format, which she never does. What a corrupt party you Dems have. She got caught stealing the nomination from Bernie and she tries to blame Russia, with zero evidence. And you cucks lap up that tasty Globalist pablum she spews like so many hungry lemmings.

  • crabbyabbey

    I think it’s $hrILLary who will duck the debate next Monday. Too afraid of having a seizure. Trump will enjoy wiping the floor with her. The contrast between them couldn’t be more striking. She’s old, sick and angry. He’s high energy with a quick wit. But look for her camp to trot out the “she won’t be over her ‘pneumonia’ until mid-October” to get out of debating Trump.

  • PietriscoEtrusco

    bwahahahahahaha losers do love crybaby loser Hillary LOL

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