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RIP, HILLZ
RIP, HILLZ

Poor, sickly Hillary Clinton! Rarely is the question asked how Hillary is able to stick to her strenuous schedule of Benghazi-ing people with her emails while murdering a million Vince Fosters, when she’s clearly dying of something. Or EVERYTHING. She might be dying of everything.

If you’ve been hanging out in the fever swamps of the wingnut internet, you might have seen the above picture of Hillary dying of “stairs.” WHOA IF TRUE, and it must be true, because it was reported by some wingnut blog called The American Mirror:

The questionable health condition of Hillary Clinton should be a major issue of the 2016 campaign.

The latest evidence comes in the form of Clinton being helped up a set of stairs by multiple individuals outside what appears to be a home.

Ruh-roh. But don’t worry, because Media Matters and Dave Weigel both explain that the picture is from FEBRUARY, that Hillary slipped (like Olds do occasionally), and that she lived through it.

So obviously internet sinkhole The Drudge Report told the story accurately hahahaha lol just kidding:

drudge

Surely WorldNetDaily will correct the record:

wnd

OK. Well maybe Dead Breitbart’s home for people who really shouldn’t joke about people suddenly falling down dead will correct the record:

Reuters and Getty photographs captured Hillary Clinton, 68, struggling to make it up the stairs, either as a result of her fragile body or perhaps because her well-documented brain injuries make it harder for her to transport herself through daily life activities. The photos gained wide circulation on the Internet Sunday. The photos were taken in February as Clinton was campaigning in South Carolina.

At least they said it was in February! Oh, and that thing about Hillary’s “well-documented brain injuries.” What twats.

Loveys, we are going to blow your goddamn mind right now. Do you know which wingnut webtubes site actually corrected the record? TWITCHY, IT WAS TWITCHY, OH MY GOD ONE OF THEIR NINE PAID STAFFERS EARNED HER PAYCHECK TODAY:

If you’re on Twitter today, you’ve probably seen this old photo of Hillary Clinton making the rounds, the narrative being that her health is so bad that she can’t walk up stairs without help …

GO ON.

… but it’s not quite what it appears. According to CNN’s Brian Stelter, it’s a photo from February 24 in South Carolina and Hillary had just slipped when the photo was taken …

Holy fucking titty-crackers, Twitchy told the truth. They couldn’t help themselves from prickishly adding that “both candidates should release all their medical records,” but everyone, do remember this day in history.

So, everything is good now and Hillary is not dying of “stairs,” so we can go back to watching all the man-bulges on the Olympics, right?

Sadly, no. Because Donald Trump released a campaign video this weekend saying “Robot Hillary” is “melting down” because she has “short-circuited,” and oh god we don’t even know:

RIP Hillz, tough break.

Pharma douche Martin Shkreli is not a scientist, but he says Hillary has Parkinson’s, because duh, did you see her in this video, being silly with reporters?

 

STOP MAKING FUN OF MARTIN SHKRELI, he says he’s seen lots of videos like this, where Hillary does Parkinson’s to the camera:

shkreli

Sigh.

The stupidest homosexual on the internet, Jim Hoft, also posted that video at the end of July, with this insightful analysis:

Wow!
The poor woman is in worse shape than we thought.

Hillary Clinton has seizure on camera.

Or maybe it was something else?
WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

God, that illiterate fucking man, what is he even saying? Hoft followed up with a couple tweets from stupid people about how maybe the video isn’t evidence of Parkinson’s or seizures, but rather Satan leaving Hillary’s body. Obviously.

Are we done with this post yet, or is Hillary dying of more things? OF COURSE she is dying of more things. Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, what kind of brain turds are you pulling out of your pooter-cavern today?

Hillary looks like a dying woman. […]

She looks like she’s in bad shape. She’s got holes in her tongue, she looks like she’s got, I’m sorry, Down syndrome whenever she’s out there with the balloons falling, like she’s a three-year old with a lobotomy. What’s going on with Hillary?

His very smart guest Roger Stone said she probably had a stroke, because why not?

So, Down syndrome, Parkinson’s, a stroke, Robot Hillary melting down, Bad At Stairs … what else? Let’s just let Dave Weigel finish this post for us, by telling us about an idiot self-help author and his overarching theory that Hillary’s brain is broken like a common Ben Carson brain:

Mike Cernovich, a self-help author best known as the attorney for a central figure in the “Gamergate” saga, seized on the speculation about Clinton to ask if Clinton traveled with a private doctor. […]

Cernovich’s speculation started with an incident from last week, when Clinton was campaigning in Las Vegas. Mid-speech, she paused and narrowed her eyes to look at protesters. Secret Service Assistant Special Agent in Charge Todd Madison rushed to her side, telling her that the situation was under control, and that she could keep talking.

Yeah, we told you about that video, in our side-by-side comparison of Hillary reacting like a goddamned adult to protesters, whereas Doanld Trump queens out like an extra from The Birdcage.

Here it is:

Back to the brilliant GamerGate lawyer Cernovich, as reported by Weigel:

To Cernovich, it was clear that Clinton was “completely frozen” and “lost control of her executive functions/pre-frontal cortex.” She actually riffed on the protesters, telling them to protest Donald Trump’s sons, who are proud hunters.

But in a follow-up post, Cernovich speculated that Madison was not in fact a Secret Service agent, but a medical professional who must be around her at all times.

Weigel points out that, contra Cernovich’s theory, pharma-douche Shkreli said on Twitter and to Alex Jones that the fake Secret Service agent slash medical professional brought Hillary “an Apokyn pen, used to treat Parkinson’s,” because why not. So which is it, you paste-fellating trashfires? WHAT IS SHE REALLY DYING OF?

Wonkette knows, because we are part of the conspiracy, but we shan’t tell, because fuck you all for making us write this post.

[Washington Post / Media Matters / The American Mirror / Twitchy]

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  • Zippy W Pinhead

    What’s Hillary dying from today?

    High poll numbers! Eat shit Hoft…

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Well now I have brain injuries from reading these idiotic speculations…

    • gedjcj

      I never realized brain injuries were contagious, but there’s seems to a pandemic in Wingnutia, and even those of us with minimal contact are at risk.

  • She suffering from totally schlonging Dishonest Donald

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dishonest, Deadbeat, Dumbshit, Diminutive fingers and dick Donald.

      • tomamitai

        The one hundred and forty second fascist gun in the vest.

        • yyyaz

          IRVING LIEBULLLSSSS!!!!!

      • kindness

        Dickless Donald. (well practically speaking…)

  • therblig

    so when does dreamboat tim kaine get to be president?

    • SteakNEggs

      He’s already President of my pants.

  • Creepoman

    Hillz is dying of laughter.

    • anwisok

      END THREAD!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The trouble on the stairs? Well, she’s drunk. God knows she’s earned it.

      I loved Bernie for his own strengths and noble heart & words, but Hillary is without a doubt, the candidate I’d want to have a beer with.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I saw her throw back a shot like a champ in 2008.

        • Jenniferehager4

          <<y:i. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bz694a:….,..

    • berkeleyfarm

      Game, set, and match!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There are no lies off limits to these assholes. There is no photo that cannot be spun.

    If Hillary walked across the Potomac, she’d be accused of being so frail as to be unable to swim.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    so the asshole with an MBA thinks he’s qualified to diagnose people via video just because he overcharges for medicine?
    Alrighty then…

    • jmhm

      But please, do go on, because when the american people think of Donald Trump and his theories about Hillary Clinton, what I want to come to mind is Martin Shkreli.

  • Jeff in the desert

    House parts can be very dangerous to your health. Stairs, bad one. Shingles, painful. Windows not only causes stress, but blows up your computers. Carpet is the bombs. Toilets cause potty mouth. Ceilings, don’t wanna break glass ones. Plumbing, lead poisoning. Basements? Ever see a horror movie? Kitchens? All those knives. I could go on and on…..

    • Serai 1

      CLOSETS. Sources of lifelong misery.

      • Grizz1y

        “Mom, Tom Cruise is stuck in my closet again.”

  • (((JustPixelz)))
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Never.Gets.Old.

    • Jeff in the desert

      Sic semper tyrannis saurus rex….

  • Indiepalin

    Dr. McCoy thinks Hillary may be suffering from Xenopolycythemia.

    • Spotts1701

      He told me it was Rigelian Kassaba Fever.

  • memzilla

    If these Hillz-haters lined up just right, we could probably get them all down with the first bowling ball.

    .

    • Lascauxcaveman

      “Bitches get shit done.” Along with “Well-behaved women seldom make history” those are two sayings I want my daughters to carry with them.

      • Daisy

        I want a shirt with the latter on it. That would be great.

  • cousin itt

    Hillary cannot die because she has been turned by Huma, duh.

  • dslindc

    Stairs are terminal now? But what if there is a fire? Do I have to jump from the 14th floor?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Take the stairs to the terminal. Not the moving sidewalk. Those things are possessed.

      • dslindc

        But they are here for my traveling convenience . . . as long as I stand to the right while others walk on the left.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          In the America I know, we don’t have a left side and a right side. We only have extra room beside me for my two large carry on bags.

          • dslindc

            Accurate.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          like that EVER happens

        • tehbaddr

          The DC is strong with this one!

      • tehbaddr

        “You got to take the elevator to the mezzanine,
        Chump, change, and it’s on, super bon bon”

    • FlownOver

      Fagen and Becker appreciate the ref.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I heard Hillary is patient zero for the worldwide Zika outbreak

  • beatbort

    This just in: ‘UNSTABLE’ TRUMP GETS STARES CLIMBING HELP

    • cousin itt

      Ahhhnold libel!

  • bubbuhh

    Dead Hillary speaks today about her dad’s small business

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwC7NsPDEec

  • At least she didn’t kill her political career going down an escalator likes someone else I know….

  • Serai 1

    Their flailing is getting boring, to tell the truth.

  • Msgr_Moment

    … but it’s not quite what it appears. According to CNN’s Brian Stelter, it’s a photo from February 24 in South Carolina and Hillary had just slipped when the photo was taken …

    OMFG! She’s a reanimated zombie!!

  • Ms.MLG1979

    She’s clearly staggering under the weight of all the winning. She is a winner who is gonna win all the states, Katie. She wins so much, she has literally gotten sick of winning.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Weird, this story doesn’t show up at the top of the oldz list

  • Apparently Trump is turning to selling his art of the deal for the low low price of 1.8 million dollars….
    https://secure.donaldjtrump.com/djtsvic-artofthedeal-184?amount=1804224

    • Msgr_Moment

      Awfully big signature for such small hands.

    • jmhm

      which is awesome, because his co-author is donating all his profits on that book for this year to the National Immigration Law Center, Human Rights Watch, the Center for the Victims of Torture, the National Immigration Forum, and the Tahirih Justice Center.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    You see? How can we trust her when these old scandals keep resurfacing???

    • beavertank

      If they weren’t true they’d just go away, after all. The fact that people keep dredging them up clearly means there’s something to them.

      • Crystalclear12

        Insert incoherent scream here:
        Aaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!

  • beavertank

    Their concern trolling might seem a little more genuine if they acknowledged the fact that the GOP nominee can’t seem to make it through a single short speech without going off on wild, frequently paranoid tangents in ways that resemble the beginnings of dementia.

    …fact is, both candidates are probably totally healthy for people of their age and Donald Trump is just a human garbage fire, and those who hate Clinton are desperate for any pretense for why Trump (human garbage fire that he is) is a better choice.

    • tomamitai

      …the GOP nominee can’t seem to make it through a single short speech without going off on wild, frequently paranoid tangents in ways that resemble the beginnings of dementia

      It’s shorter and more efficient to say “pandering to their base”.

      • Bad Tom

        The GOP base resembles the beginnings of dementia?
        ——-
        I think you may be right.

  • JVisconti

    Wasn’t there a Prez who was pretty good at running the country from a wheelchair?

    • beavertank

      And one who probably had Alzheimers while in office. He didn’t do quite as good a job, but the GOP still loves him just the same anyway.

      • JVisconti

        having fond memories of him is kinda ironic.

        • beavertank

          And a little cruel. But that’s the GOP for you.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Not true! The GOP doesn’t give a shit about Dubya. Ohhhhhhh…. nvm.

        • jowgajen

          Dubya may not have been sober the entire time he was Prez. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

          Also the GOP has a serious case of amnesia around W.

          • beavertank

            Which matches his serious case of amnesia about his entire time in the White House. But with an enabler like Cheney around it’s hardly surprising.

      • jmhm

        Everyone’s seems to still be pretty sad about losing the one with Addison’s disease.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …so Hillz slips going up some stairs and that means she some terminal degenerative brain disease. But Donald Trump has a series of mini strokes on stage and calls it a speech and he is “A” ok?!

    • Msgr_Moment

      Mini shrokes ’cause his hands are so small.

    • Jo Mathie

      I fell up the stairs twice last week at work and I wasn’t even wearing heels. Should I make a will?

    • (((JustPixelz)))

      Turns out he wasn’t imitating/mocking that reporter.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Ok, if this is the result, I’ve concluded that the Internet is not worth it. Time to Benghazi the Internet with EMPs.

    • Bad Tom

      Will you do that with a gadget, or some other means?

    • But, then how will Hillary do all of her various Email crimes?

  • Daisy

    *snort* I’m eighteen and find new, exciting ways to trip and fall each day. Stupid fuckers.

    • OddMan

      Oh you have dozens and dozens of years ahead to find new ways to fall. As an old I threw out my back and fell once by sneezing.

      • deanbooth

        I’m too big to fall.

      • Lamashtar

        I hurt my back by getting out of bed one time.

    • I Only Like Cats

      Clumsy Millennials unite!

      • Daisy

        Woohoo! *falls of chair*

        …shit

  • FrenchFriar

    If they can’t literally beat her, the next logical step is to figuratively kill her.

  • Joe Beese
    • Msgr_Moment

      I thought Muhammad Ali perfected the L-Dopa defense.

  • Msgr_Moment

    If this means more pictures and video of Huma nursing her back to health, I’m there.

  • TeeRaak
  • arglebargle

    Mebby she’s just undead. I’d vote for zombie Hillary.

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, they do call her a blood sucking harpy. . .

  • JMP

    So we’re supposed to be concerned about her health, but not that of the overweight 70-year-old with severe self control and anger management issues who always looks like he’s about to have a heart attack?

    • beavertank

      Well, y’see, she has a vagina… so that’s medical reason enough for concern. I hear the condition is terminal, 100% of all people with a vagina will eventually die.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Only later than the mens.

    • Ezio

      Not to mention that she is actually younger than Trump.

    • arglebargle

      Short fingers are a sign of heart disease. It’s true, I just read wrote it on the interwebs.

      • TJ Barke

        Hmm, I just read that on the internet…

        • arglebargle

          You too? Whoa, if true.

          • Doug Langley

            And me! This can’t be coincidence.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’ve heard he suffers from tinydickitis.

  • limberrat

    Gee, that useless FDR won’t be able do do shit since he can’t walk!

    • Ezio

      This is the perfect comment. +1000 upvotes.

      • Nockular cavity

        Upvoter fraud!

        • efoveks

          And how do we get in on it?

    • Ms.MLG1979

      Penis.

      • arglebargle

        Well, I got a penis and I don’t get shit done.

        • Ms.MLG1979

          You could probably beat me at arm-wrestling. There’s that.

          • arglebargle

            Let’s not jump to conclusions here.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            are we talking nekkid arm wrestling?

            because we do have the right to bare arms

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Oh, if we’re arm wrestling nekkid, I’m not worried about losing anymore!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            what a coincidence, neither are we

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Touché!

  • edith prickly

    Is Hillary murdering HERSELF now??

    • beavertank

      The ultimate addition to the body count… she truly is a master.

      • Msgr_Moment

        AND she’ll totally get away with it.

        • beavertank

          Unless we can find some meddling kids around here. That might fix it.

          • Grizz1y

            Anyone want a Scooby Snack?

      • edith prickly

        #elevendimensionalchess

  • OddMan

    Christ in a wheelbarrow to Kentucky – these fuckers have gone off the deep end.
    What is it, she is the devil incarnate that has superpowers and has killed hundreds with her thought powers/mind control? Or is she a helpless little old lady who needs help going to the bathroom?

    I don’t care if they have to carry her around in a damned palanquin, I with her.

    • Doug Langley

      For the love of humanity, don’t give them ideas.

    • Caepan

      Well, if in their eyes Obama can be the World’s Weakest Tyrant, why can’t Hillary be the Doddering Old Supervillain?

  • laughingnome

    I’m voting for her dead or alive.

  • SnarkOff

    I know for a true fact that Hillary Clinton suffers from a 25-year case of Chronic Misogyny.

  • baconzgood

    You are really reaching right wing media.

  • JMP

    Hillary Clinton is dying from that fatal disease called life that has a 100% mortality rate in the end.

    • Msgr_Moment

      It may be the oxygen dihydride she drank.

    • BadKitty904

      If Hilz is dying of anything, it can only be laughter, from watching the Trump “campaign” flailing about…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Wait. Secret Service? SS? Omg that was zombie Dr. Morell who came to Hillary’s aid!

  • Vecchiojohn

    I hear Tim Kaine has only a few days to live.

  • Callyson

    Hillary fell a few times in the past few years! This will turn the election around!!!

  • Crystalclear12

    Just when the rage subsides I read this.
    Come on November!

  • Señor Skwerl

    I’m sorry, Down syndrome whenever she’s out there with the balloons falling, like she’s a three-year old with a lobotomy. What’s going on with Hillary?

    Stargazing syndrome, duh. If you are going to go conspiracy, go full in jerkwad!

    http://www.petmd.com/reptile/conditions/neurological/c_rp_stargazing_syndrome

  • jowgajen

    So despite the fact that she appears in public every day, and speaks at length every day, somehow she is concealing major health issues.

    • Vecchiojohn

      They cloned a bunch of Hillarys years ago in George Soros’s secret lab under the Alps and they stand in for her. The real Hillary is just a brain in a jar now, but she’s still in charge. That’s how much she wants this.

    • Oblios_Cap

      She’s a sneaky one, that’s fer sure.

  • Ms.MLG1979

    I smell something. It’s…desperation…

    • Vecchiojohn

      And cheap cologne.

      • Crystalclear12

        And flop sweat

        • Serai 1

          Eau d’Basement Fap.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        That fragrance is Success by Trump. And it’s a terrible website. Terrible.

        • Knowing his business plan, it’s a bottle full of tap water with a note saying if you upgrade from the eau de toilet to the cologne you’ll get the real stuff

        • Vecchiojohn

          I thought it was “Bankruptcy the Sequel”

      • Sardonicuss

        ….and KFC

        • Gleem-McShinez

          FACT: It’s the exact same recipe for extra crispy, as Trump’s face bronzer.

      • Astraea

        An axe product?

        • Vecchiojohn

          I think it’s call “Trump”.

    • BadKitty904

      The acrid stench of a dying campaign?

      • Ms.MLG1979

        With an underlying salty tang of emasculated male butthurt…

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Trump getting beaten by someone who is half dead is not the best selling point for your candidate there, wingnuts.

    • BadKitty904

      I want to see him and Hilz arm-wrestle before I decide who I’m voting for…

      • TheGrandWaz00

        Or a scissor fight.

        • Grizz1y

          She does that with Huma. Oh wait you said fight, NVM.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        With those tiny, delicate hands, he migh be at a disadvantage.

    • userfromny

      Not a Trump supporter but when the media ignores anything negative toward Hillary, you don’t need to many selling points with the media on her side.

      • TheGrandWaz00

        When has the media ever ignored anything negative about Hillary Clinton?

      • Blank Ron

        ‘… the media ignores anything negative toward Hillary…’
        I don’t know what planet you’re from, but welcome to Earth. You’ll find things are different here than what you’re apparently used to, but you should do fine as long as you don’t say anything stupid… oh, sorry, never mind.

  • Callyson

    Donald Trump released a campaign video this weekend saying “Robot Hillary” is “melting down” because she has “short-circuited,” and oh god we don’t even know

    That video…dafuq?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Brought to us by the “Demon Sheep” people, it appears.

  • Thaumaturgist

    I get that Hoft thinks that’s a picture of Satan leaving Hillz’ body. I don’t get why Hoft thinks Satan has given up on Hillz. Less Hoft thinks Satan has gotten a better offer.

  • Callyson

    And now Pharmabro wants in on the action? What–is he going to try to sell her a wonder drug that only costs $750 per pill and has to be taken daily or something?

  • Serai 1

    This shit deserves the same attention as a National Enquirer cover. That is to say, a glance while you’re deciding whether to put that bag of frozen peas back in the frozen section.

  • Jesus they can’t even come up with original attacks. This follows a week of the entire media waking up to the threat of Donald Trump (or perhaps listening to him for the first time) and several openly speculating he was unstable. So what do they do? Turn around and accuse Hillary of being unstable. and SICK.

    Are they 5 years old?

    • Blank Ron

      They wish.

  • raypc800

    The GOP and the Trump campaign are desperate to try anything to stop their losses. But there is one thing that neither the GOP and the Trump campaign can hide from. Presidential Debates! Oh Trump is trying desperately to come up with any reason that he can not debate Clinton. Both the GOP and the Trump campaign knows that Trump will not be able to win against Clinton. They are expecting numerous Trump supporters to jump ship right after even one debate.
    More importantly Trump himself will act out like a 3 year old on twitter and at any public functions. Trump will attack any and all that tell him the truth that he failed miserably!

  • tehbaddr

    She does appear on occasion to be dying of laughter when talking about tRump and his “plans”.

    • Callyson

      So that’s Trump’s secret strategy? Kill of all voters with a brain by November by making us laugh our asses off?

      It could work, except for the fact that some of us intersperse those moments with sadness about the fact that he even made it this far FFS…

  • Callyson

    Jim Hoft also too?

    #payupdeadbeat

  • BadKitty904

    Are these “people” talking about the same woman who righteously kicked ASS, live, for almost an hour, at the DNC the week before last?

    • Daisy

      Don’t forget the 11 hour BENGHAZI!11! hearing.

      • BadKitty904

        Yah, how’d that turn-out, anyways?

        • Doug Langley

          If memory serves, it was Trey Gowdy who was taken to intensive care.

          • Jim Johnson

            Bad case of Peyronie’s Disease as I recall.

          • BadKitty904

            Though that still doesn’t explain why his head is shaped like that.

          • Doug Langley

            Hey, they’re surgeons, not miracle workers.

          • BadKitty904

          • Kakkeltje

            He is not in surgery, he is getting a cat scan.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            “I was way into Zika complications before it was cool”

    • userfromny

      And during all of her press conferences – oops, 200 days with no pressers.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        She just did one, goofus

        Try to keep up

  • Grizz1y

    I know what she is dying of. It is a sexually transmitted disease, and I hate to break it to you but you all have it too. It’s called Life.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      “Sexually transmitted disease,” you say?

      • SnarkOff

        That cover is genius. “I thought she was gay,” says stunned ex-Prez = fucking brilliant.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Because look at the guns on that alien!

      • Swampgas_Man

        Gawd, I miss the WWN– the Enquirer and the Globe are just too nasty these days.

      • Doug Langley

        “He gave the best rectal probes,” she sighed.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Well golly, I was going to vote for the candidate that has a proven record of public service and isn’t completely mentally unhinged, but now that the “media” has weighed in with their prognosis, well, I’m not so sure…

    • Harbinger08

      I see this kind of crap whenever I buy food, and I still have to wonder, how is that kind of libel even legal?

      • SnarkOff

        It’s called the Right to Fair Comment and it is a legal right afforded to the press so that we may comment on public figures. You may abhor the way it is sometimes used, but society would be very bad off without that right.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Shouldn’t there be a difference between Fair Comment and outright libel?

          • They can always back off and say it’s parody, which is also protected and hard to prove.

          • SnarkOff

            The snark-free answer is that it is very hard to prove libel for a public figure. One criteria is that the paper must have published the story with “knowing falsehood or reckless disregard for the truth.” So if someone they interviewed who is even remotely legitimate said something like, “Hillary looks like she could have Parkinson’s,” they can run that story.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            There is and Carol Burnett won against them some years ago.

        • anwisok

          As evidence to support your point that we would be worse off without it, I’d like to mention that The Donald would very much like to greatly restrict or eliminate it.

          • SnarkOff

            He tried to stifle the Washington Post by banning that paper from his events. Now the Post is gleefully going after him like a pack of hungry dogs on garbage day. It is a pleasure to watch.

        • Harbinger08

          I know, but still.

      • AngryKatie

        The only option the public figure has is to sue. Those suits drag on for years, they’re very expensive, and they’re hard to win as the articles are always written with wiggle to keep them on the right side of the slander laws.

        If the story is about a public figure they have to prove that not only was it wrong, but that the publisher knew it was wrong and maliciously chose to publish it anyway.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          That seems doable in this case.

          • AngryKatie

            I looked at the article on their site It’s unlikely she would meet the burden of proof. They cite “insiders” and unnamed journalists covering the campaign. They also cite some of the “people are saying” shit that Karl Rove has put out there.

            They only need to argue that they had no reason to doubt the veracity of their sources to win because it’s nearly impossible for her to prove it if they’re lying.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I smell a Pulitzer! Or did I just have an accident?

      • NanBullenshede

        Aye.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I hope she sues them.

    • Lancelot Link

      It should come as no surprise that David Pecker, the publisher of the Enquirer, is a personal friend of Trump.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Saw her walkin’ around OK and the DNC didn’t I? OR DID I?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Thank you. I missed him a little.

  • To be fair, this is a more accurate story than Donald Trump’s economic policy.

  • Callyson

    Down syndrome, Parkinson’s, a stroke, Robot Hillary melting down, Bad At Stairs … what else?

    “Not enough for you assholes to take me down!”

    – Hillary

    http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/5139bdc5-4cbd-4e8a-a131-e32e2313ceb0/c773e53b-b6ba-4183-8823-46a77316483a.gif

  • Msgr_Moment

    So what did Shkreli charge us for that pearl of wisdom?

  • Oneofthebobs

    She’s not taking L-dopa; she’s running against el dopa.

  • thenearesthippie

    3 or 4 months ago I heard, with my own ears, some talk radio nutjob (don’t know which one) state that Hillary wears pantsuits to hide her elephantiasis.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Whu…. ??????????????

  • Spotts1701

    Maybe she’s got rabbititis?

  • BadKitty904

    I’ll wait for Gerald Ford to weigh in on this vital political issue.

  • artem1s

    so they are back to throwing everything at the wall and seeing what will stick then? How’s Donnie’s polls again?

    • anwisok

      Looking great to me!

  • I Only Like Cats

    *comes out of bath* *reads news* *throws phone and goes back to bath*

  • efoveks

    Another great opinion of Martin Shkreli: to price gouge on pharmaceuticals. Maybe he has some great pill for Parkinsons he’s trying to profit from? What a concern troll!

    • olympia

      And the dumb little fucker can’t even get his terminology correct. Early onset Parkinson’s is Parkinson’s you get before like, 40. Getting it in your late 60s does not count as early onset.

      • efoveks

        Must be that Hillary looks so young. Compared to bloated, yapping yam Trump, I think it’s very true. :-)

        • olympia

          That’s for sure.

  • bubbuhh

    Yeah, Trump did say “And, by the way, into titties like right here in Detroit.” in his speech today. My guess is he was supposed to say “in entities,” but had no idea how to say the word or what it meant. Teleprompters can only do so much. I suspect that bit of video will become a classic.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2016/08/short-circuit-trump-promises-cut

    • ryp

      Further proof of what a boob he is.

  • Wild Cat

    O please—she’s been ill ever since Dick Morris tried to rape her feet.

    • Aquaria

      Wouldn’t we all be?

  • userfromny

    Twitchy is not a wingnut site. Twitchy makes absolute fun of idiot liberal tweets. Liberal tweets are the insanity.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      STFU Michelle

    • Blank Ron

      Hush, dear, the adults are talking.

    • anon_the_great

      And thanks for playing…

    • Rick Hill

      The tweets! They’re coming from inside your brain!!!!1! Runn!!!!

    • SnarkOff

      Is it as deliciously witty as you are?

    • AngryKatie

      Doc just warned us that if we keep feeding the trolls we’re gonna end up with an infestation. If that happens we’ll never get the smell out of the upholstery.

      • BosGrl

        but it is soooo damned fun

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Febreze to the rescue!

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Show us on the doll where the liberal tweets touched you….good.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        No, not where Josh touched you

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Twitchy is run by wingnut shrieking harpy queen Michelle Malkin- a woman so dumb and self hating she wrote a book praising the internment of Asians during World War II. Seems legit to me….

    • Msgr_Moment

      Sorry, Sugartits. We set the bar for Deleted Comments of the Week pretty high around here. Please come back after you’ve had time to work on your act.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      The insanity or insanely funny?

  • Brian

    Just like the liberal media to get the story completely backwards. Hillary is not dying of everything; EVERYTHING is DYING because of Hillary!!!

  • Rick Hill

    HIllary is in a vegetative state and fed by IVs? Still a better preznit than trump. What else they got?

  • BadKitty904

    At least Hilz hasn’t “choked on a pretzel”…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Every single one of those jumping on this story are Trump tiny ball sucking sycophants. Is there any surprise they are exaggerating and lying? Dead (no one is going to make him a zombie, lol) Breitbart might as well call itself the clearing house for alt-right internet Nazi Trump lovers…

  • Rick Hill

    Are we sure that Bill isn’t sloooowly poisoning her? Well, are we?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

      • Rick Hill

        It is out there, now.

    • If he is, he switched the coffee cups because he looks way sicker than she does. I realize he’s on the mend, but I was surprised how frail he looked at the DNC

    • Vecchiojohn

      She has been immunizing herself from poison by taking small amounts of it for years now. A lot of witches do that, I think.

      • Daisy

        Westley libelz

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Iocaine powder, I’ll wager.

  • Scooby

    I heard she’s dying from bone spurs.

    • Vecchiojohn

      I hear she’s going to put her spurs into someone come Noverber.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Well it’s prolly not malnutrition.

  • Alan

    I want to know who she murdered today.

    • TJ Barke

      Aot,k.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        including herself- add another name to the Clinton body count

    • Vecchiojohn

      Shut up you fool. You may be next!

      • Alan

        I’ll keep an eye out for drones.

        • Doug Langley

          By the time you see them, it’s too late.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            kind of like ducking when you hear thunder

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Duck!

  • Wait… I have a hole in my tongue… Am I going… to die?

    • Doug Langley

      Not to worry. It’s called a throat.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      eventually…

    • Ms.MLG1979

      Tongue ring. Tongue ring. Tongue ring!!

      • I figured that comment would cause your ears to perk up :P

        • Ms.MLG1979

          Yeah…my ears… ;)

          • Well, what matters here is the perkiness, right?

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Is this the tongue ring or titties thread?

          • All threads can and should be both tongue ring and titties appropriate, IMO.

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Yes, they belong together!

          • I don’t think I’ve ever agreed with a statement more!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            I could make a statement you agreed with more, but I’m not gonna, because I’m a model of appropriate, serious and mature behavior.

          • Now that you mention it, I’m sure that you should could…

          • Ms.MLG1979

            I’ll send a mental image, using my powers of telepathy..

          • Cool, you can grab my phone number while you’re in there! ;)

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Haha! I’m going to text you Trump campaign donation solicitation, and see what I get back.

          • SO MANY dick pics!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            I bet they would make a lovely collage!

          • I would have to think so, it’s quite photogenic.

          • Ms.MLG1979

            So, unlike me, it doesn’t manage to make a dumb face every time a camera is pointed at it? Damn your photogenic junk!

          • Well, once in a while when I’m bored with a Sharpie…

          • Ms.MLG1979

            You have inspired me to start a Glamor Shots for Dick Pics studio! When you care enough to dress up and accessorize your little soldier for your dick pic recipient’s viewing pleasure. I’ll have little feather boas and bedazzled denim jackets…

          • Tiny top hats and monocles would pretty much be required as well…

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Little teased, feathered wigs with big-ass bangs. This is gonna rock.

          • Business plan: It’s like glamour shots, but for dicks!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Tired of the sending the same tired, boring, unsolicited pictures of your dick to women who are less than enthusiastic? Let the professionals at Glamour Cocks spice up your dick pic arsenal. No one has a bigger selection of props, wigs, backgrounds, glitter, sequins and beautiful couture, hand-stiched ensembles. Our highly trained, discreet staff will bedazzle your junk to perfection, so you can dazzle those lucky, unsuspecting ladies!

          • If you happen to see this exact copy in a fake ad on YouTube in a few days, it wasn’t me, I swear!

            (That was gold, MLG, GOLD!)

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Don’t you dare steal my idea! We have to collaborate at least!

          • Sounds like a plan. I need to find some folk w/ video gear, ’cause this is a million view idea easily!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            I definitely cannot provide the dick. ;)

          • I did gather that, yes… Don’t worry, I have plenty of dick to go around!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            OH MY!! You’re gonna make me fall out of my chair first thing this morning!

          • I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing… :P

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Depends on how hard I land!

          • Or, more to the point, what you land on!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Why you cheeky Canadian Cad, you!

          • Pfft, like we’d even be having this conversation if I wasn’t :)

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Right? Stop causing me to misbehave! I’m usually so ladylike.

          • Yes, that is the impression I have gotten of you over the past few months, I shall shoulder the burden of this all being my fault.

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Damn right you will! I mean, thank you for admitting how wrong you are!

          • I am sure that, in the future, any and all inappropriate thoughts or actions on your part will be my fault as well. In fact, I relish the idea of being responsible for your inappropriate thoughts and actions!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Oh, yes. Once you’ve allowed me to blame you, you’re locked into that, whether you relish it, or not. But it’s better and easier when you like encouraging my foolishness. You’re a cad, but you’re sweet!

          • I do tend to walk a fine line, don’t I? And I shall endeavour to encourage much foolishness in the future!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            I look forward to it, and blaming you for my naughtiness. Blame Canada.

          • You want to blame an entire nation for your naughtiness? That must be a LOT of naughtiness. I approve.

          • Ms.MLG1979

            I’ll blame anything that’ll stand still long enough!

          • Deflecting blame. You may have a future in politics, young lady!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            That or CFO of a Fortune 500!

          • Sweet, I COULD use a sugarmomma, if you’re in the market ;)

          • Ms.MLG1979

            But I’m not a CFO. I’m poor and regular and stuff. :(

          • You are far from “regular” MLG :)

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Thank you. That was a lovely thing to say. Wait..did you just call me weird?

          • Not specifically, but there is beauty in weirdness!

          • Ms.MLG1979

            There is. And what you said made my day!

          • Well, I’m really glad to hear that :)

          • Ms.MLG1979

            Feel free to shower me with heartfelt compliments any ol’ time. ;)

          • I shall keep that in mind, All Seeing Eye of Wonkette :)

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Isn’t that their national anthem? Blaaame Canada…..

          • Ms.MLG1979

            No, silly! It’s My Heart Will Go On.

  • fawkedifiknow

    If Hillary only used escalators, like Donnie, she wouldn’t have a stairs problem.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Funny how ‘dying’ Hillary still has plenty enough in the tank to kick Trump’s leathery orange ass at every turn….you’re so pathetic, wingnuts.

  • thenearesthippie

    Earlier today, Satan issued a press release confirming that he had, in fact, left Hillary Clinton’s body. “She was making me do bad things. I just couldn’t take it any more,” confessed the Archfiend.

  • Mpeg

    Letting her aides catch her when she falls? She’s only Huma’n!

    (I’ll see myself out)

  • kindness

    Trump must think he’s running for President of his Junior High School.

    • DainBramage

      That’s fine. His”adult” supporters mentally peaked in Junior High School.

      • Aquaria

        You give them too much credit. They didn’t even peak in kindergarten, because they were too busy ramming crayons up their noses and eating paste.

        Sort of like how they are now.

        • Bill Slider

          Crayons and paste libel.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    The fever dreams of the mentally ill RNC outpatients are peaking along with Hillary’s poll numbers ;)

  • Part of the Rove-inspired “I’m rubber, you’re glue” attack the opposition with your own candidate’s weakness tactic to deflect from Trump’s early-onset Alzheimer’s.

    • Vecchiojohn

      They’ll counter with Hillary’s lack of experience and tendency to talk like a particularly stupid schoolyard bully.

  • kamchow47d

    Dying Hillary will kick Trump out of the Ring.
    God is always with Hillary. No one will be able to hurt her.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Guns won’t stop her.
      Bullets won’t stop her.
      We may have to use nuclear force.

      • Vecchiojohn

        Only Godzilla can save us now!

        • Cindyinencinitas

          So, she’s Gamera?

      • Khavrinen

        Why do you think Trump kept asking about the nukes in his security briefings? He knows it’s the only way to take her down.

  • Mavenmaven

    She died a long time ago, this is her replacement, I know because if you play the White Album backwards…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Ted Cruz’s dad shot her from a grassy knoll.

      • Vecchiojohn

        Heheheheheheheh

  • Gleem-McShinez

    I HAVE A HOLE IN MY PENIS! I AM DYING (eventually)

    • Msgr_Moment

      You think that’s bad. I know a number of people with holes where their penis SHOULD be.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • Vecchiojohn

        Beat me to it.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          great song…

    • Wes Grogan

      Have you tried duct tape?

  • Notreelyhelping

    Well…shit. Who isn’t dying of everything!

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    She isn’t dying…there’s too many people left for her to kill! Silly wingnuts underestimating her will to kill.

    • phoenix00

      And the fight for the right to party

  • Joe Beese

    If she had run back in her forties, they could have impugned her judgment on the basis of Teh Menopauze instead.

  • btwbfdimho

    Martin Shkreli will Make the War on Parkinson Great Again.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Hey, don’t talk smack about our future Surgeon General!

    • Vecchiojohn

      Human centipede?

      • SeeTrain65

        A dog’s gotta eat.

  • BadKitty904

    Reuters and Getty photographs captured the Trump campaign struggling to make headway, either as a result of its fragile grasp of reality or perhaps because its well-documented bullshittery makes it harder for it to relate, in any way, to daily life activities. The photos gained wide circulation in the Real World since June 2015.

    • Vecchiojohn

      ? “Let the eagle soar …….”

      • kareemachan

        Let the eagle bite the shit out of trumpette.

        With votes, of course.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    For someone who can’t get through a presser without dying of everything, Hillz is damn good at murdering everybody, rigging the election, and causing terminal faux-rage from the right wing press.

    • Wes Grogan

      That’s the magic of not micro-managing. She can barely survive pressers while her lackeys run off and kill the Ben Ghazzi family and delete all the G-Mails!

  • Wes Grogan

    Hillary Clinton might be suffering from multiple sclerosis, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s doing a bang-up job in office!

    Or was that Josiah Bartlet? Eh, either one is still far, far superior to Trump so I guess it doesn’t matter. Clinton/Bartlet 2016!

    • Nadia Bizness

      You know she doesn’t currently hold an office? Yiu know that, right?

      • Skadi

        Obviously, he was talking about Jed Bartlet, then.

      • Wes Grogan

        Yes. It was a reference to West Wing.

    • berkeleyfarm

      For America!

  • Astraea

    She was just having trouble with her human disguise. Don’t tell anyone because this is (c)TOP SECRET, but I have secret video of her true form.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/TfFbA8xkrIymk/giphy.gif

    • Wes Grogan

      Awww… she’s still a fighter even in her natural form!

    • Doug Langley

      Wow. Her makeup job is just amazing.

    • Clever girl. . .

    • Major_Major_Major

      So that is why she doesn’t smile more. Don’t want to show off them there big and pointy teefses.

      • JackieHarkness

        Your accent is cute. We say “toofuses.”

    • just_jim

      Bumper sticker “Vote for Hillary and she’ll eat you last”

  • akryan

    I love that Drudge headline. Hillary Clinton slipped 4 times in the last 7 years! Oh! My! God! They’re getting desperate.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Getting desperate”??? Nope, they reached Peak Desperation way back when they thought letting Trump into the primary race was a good idea. Maybe sometime before. Beginning of the end?

  • Panika MCD

    silly Wonkette, Alex Jones doesn’t pull his thoughts from his own pooter as there is a rifle barrel firmly jammed in there at all times. he pulls his nugget from the assholes around him.

  • azeyote

    she gets like that when the crack pipe is out of reach –

  • Beaumarchais?

    Stories like these should cheer us—the other side’s got NUTTIN’.

  • Aquaria

    Funny, I don’t remember anyone saying stupid shit like this back when this was happening:

    http://www.sylvianism.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/11.jpg

    • Bitter Scribe

      Naw. We just thought it was funny. That is, until Chevy Chase got hold of it.

    • Suttree

      Well……. G.W.B. walked ferociously to that locked door and yanked on it like a man!

    • berkeleyfarm

      We did make a lot of jokes about ‘he played football too long without a helmet’.

  • JParkerSD46

    C’mon stupid people. Satan is never gonna leave Hillz’z body. Sheesh, it what ever evil vessel would he want to dwell until she becomes preznit and The Dark One unleashes his minions to destroy the world?!?!?!?

  • Bitter Scribe

    These guys do know that Hillary Clinton is YOUNGER than Donald Trump, right?

    • Nadia Bizness

      By a little over a year.

      • Iam Reading

        So, younger. Donald, so old, so weak, so pathetic, compared to HRC

      • Suttree

        Yet mentally older by 62 years.

  • Suse

    Hillz is so weak and sick that she sat through eleventy fucking hours of BENGHAZI!!11!! hearings before Witchfinder General Gowdy Doody and his flying monkeys without breaking a sweat.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And she didn’t take eleventy hundred bathroom breaks to change her Depends!!!

      • Suse

        She could have done it standing on her head on a surfboard in gigantic waves while juggling cantaloupes.

    • Nadia Bizness

      Well… she was seated & didn’t have to negotiate any stairs.

      • Iam Reading

        Dok, we need a cleanup on aisle 5

    • just_jim

      Not true! She sure made Gowdy sweat.

      That’s our Hillz. She gets investigated, and the chairman of the committee ends up looking bad.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    The Trump campaign had an internal planning meeting where they were discussing possible paths to victory. Somebody piped up, “Well, I suppose our opponent might drop dead of some mysterious illness before the election. Anyone got anything else? No? Okay, we’ll go with that.”

    And now you know. The rest. Of the story.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Good day?

  • Suse

    Just read an article on Drumpf’s love of fast food. He looks to be one Big Mac away from a major cardiovascular event, and I don’t mean running a marathon.

  • So, what I’m getting from this is that Hillary Clinton is both Susan Calvin and Stephen Byerley all wrapped up in a single package. And this is bad how?

  • ibwilliamsi

    68 is ancient? Fuck them! That makes me old and I am not old. I’m well seasoned.

    Reagan was 70 and had Alzheimer’s when he took office, neither of which bothers them to this day.

    • Toomush_Infer

      As an oldz about that age, it appears to me that (should she wish), Hillary Rodham Clinton could still do the boogie on my grave when that farflung moment occurs…. Trump can’t dance now….

      • Smokahontas

        Seems to me I saw her doin the nae nae jitterbuggery thing not too long ago, but then I’m old so it’s hard to remember stuff unless it happens on my lawn.

        • Iam Reading

          You did, on Ellen!

      • ibwilliamsi

        He never could dance – that takes an ability to cooperate with music, & a little bit of soul. That soulless fuck has on principle & has never cooperated with anyone or anything. He’s not about to start now!

    • Nadia Bizness

      He was 69 (=68+1, for non mathies) and didn’t have it when took office. But do go on showing true liberal colors by mocking Alzheimer’s patients. Oh oh, do “cripple jokes” next!

      • Iam Reading

        He didn’t mock it, your sick brain made that up. He merely pointed out the hypocrisy of the right.

      • Skadi

        Go away, troll.

      • edith prickly

        OK….https://youtu.be/LXkM11kp_tg

        Oh, that wasn’t what you meant?

        • Suttree

          That’s awesome! Circa mid to late 70’s? My memory must not have kicked in yet.

          • edith prickly

            Yup, around that time. ’70s Sesame Street was THE BEST.

          • Suttree

            Snuffleupagus, hot wheels, legos, and the joy of playing with myself by myself, turned me into who I am today. ;)

          • edith prickly

            It makes me very happy that the troll comment is gone, but Buffy and Fred the Horse are still here. :)

      • Suttree

        Didn’t we have you recently as Nunya Bizness or some such? IIRC you said just as much then as you are now. At least screech about National Socialism meaning socialism like demoncrats. Or whatever makes sense on your world today.

  • Bill Slider

    You may have hated writing it, but you are brilliant, and you rite real good two (sic).

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I heard Hillary is also a Russian secret agent who works for the Muslim Brotherhood.

    • Suse

      NO!

      • Toomush_Infer

        So Trump really likes her? He really does?….

    • Randy Riddle

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Suttree

      Hillary was the head terrorist and the lead FSB agent who pumped the gas into the Dubrovka Theater. Read underneath the lines sheeple!

    • SisterArtemis

      Nah, it’s this one:

  • moebym

    Can Martin Shkreli just go away? The sight of his face makes me break out in hives.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      He probably has a highly effective cream that costs a pantload of money that will take care of that.

      • kareemachan

        No, he *says* it will work, but it actually doesn’t.

  • Captain Kraut

    Grasping at straws has rarely been more entertaining, just carry on, you twits.

  • Barley_Brains

    Evan, “…queens out like an extra from The Birdcage,” made me laugh and laugh and laugh.

    Surely your Pulitzer is in the mail!!

  • Email to Guccifer

    Can’t wait til the next WikiHillary leak dump

    She’ll short circuit and tumble down some stairs at the first debate

    • Suttree

      I am hoping that you might be able to work the words “short circuit” into another comment today. Maybe with some panache this time!

    • Enfant Terrible

      There’s going to be debates after all? How exciting!

      • kareemachan

        Nah, trumpette will run like the scared little girl he is.

    • ryp

      And Trump will still lose.

  • Spurning Beer

    I’ve watched some videos of Martin Shkreli, and I’m pretty sure he’s got a severe case of early onset coprophagia.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      “Excrement.”

  • Nadia Bizness

    I’m old enough to remember McCain’s age & health were a big concern for yall. Now shoe on other foot & you write this article that makes you sound… 12.

    • Iam Reading

      “Now shoe on other foot.” Oh snap! Actually, we rightly thought he was in the grips of dementia given his VP pick.

    • Suttree

      Actually, my biggest concern with him was that he is Godzilla’s son he was born in Panama.

      • Iam Reading

        A narco state baby

        • Skadi

          …a narco state anchor baby?

      • Skadi

        I’m more concerned that he might be Lindsey Graham’s father!

        • tihond

          Also one of McCain’s biggest concerns.

    • Wes Grogan

      Trump is still older, so nyah nyah.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Actually, internet says he was born 6-14-46, so he is 70. Still older than Hilz.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Nice recovery!

        • Wes Grogan

          Hahaha thank you. Thank goodness for edit buttons!

          • SeekingBarbie

            Too bad there isn’t a disappear button, coz I first goofed and replied that to myself and had to delete it. Duh!

      • SeekingBarbie

        Nice recovery!

    • Enfant Terrible

      1. John McCain was 72 at the time.
      2. He named Sarah Palin, a real rocket surgeon, to be his VP candidate.

      So, yeah, there was some concern.

      Also too, writing like sugar-crazed tweeners is sort of our style.

  • I’m more worried about that weird fungal growth on top of Trump’s bald head. Maybe that’s why his hands are so freakishly small.

  • She probably has a greater risk of dying from some gun-fellating dickcheese taking a shot at her than anything health-related.

    FSM forbid, of course, but should any of those nightmare-scenario fates befall her in the next 8 years, the poor country will be saddled with . . . Tim Kaine. QUELLE HORREUR.

    On the other hand, should the constipated mango finally have that coke-fueled rageflail stroke he seems to be constantly on the verge of, we’re stuck with Pence. And that’s not even counting the possibility of him being jailed or otherwise drummed out for legal reasons.

  • Smokahontas

    Dying AND killing, at the same time, in a pants suit?!?! Is there anything this woman won’t do?

    • Suse

      She’s a monster!

      • revenant

        our monster, and we’re damn proud of her too

  • Hemp Dogbane

    After her inauguration, one day she’ll again pause in mid-speech, narrow her eyes, and mutter to an aide “bring me Darrell Issa’s testicle” and then continue on speaking.

    • SisterArtemis

      Girl’s gotta get her protein

  • Suttree

    Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing would like to have a word with you.

  • Iam Reading

    Why isn’t Shkreli posting from a prison cell?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Hillz can narrow her eyes all she wants.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zfPsDy1PVU

  • WhoMe?

    I heard Hillary, like the rest of us, was dying of embarrassment that The Orange One was nominated to be her opponent.

  • Is this related to how women get infections every month, as Newt Gingrich told us?

  • Me not sure

    My Dad had Parkinson’s Disease. I know it when I see it. That ain’t it!

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Right. Once you see it, you won’t mistake it for anything else.

  • Twisted Root

    Tell after tell after tell in this article. Sure, you’re not rattled.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Do tell.

      • Suse

        2 days ago, Twit the Root posted this thoughtful analysis:

        The large black man gives every appearance of being a stage
        magician/hypnotist. His hand positions are those of a practised
        performer. His left hand at 30s illustrates this perfectly. The proper
        SS guys’ hands are either all over the place or dangling awkwardly.

        His first move towards Hillary is most significant. If that touch on
        Hillary’s left wrist isn’t a hypnotically embedded cue, I don’t know
        what is.

        • Gregory Brown

          Clearly he “doesn’t know what is.”

          • Suse

            Depends on what your definition of “is” is. ;-)

          • kareemachan

            Was TR on peyote when it wrote this?

          • Suse

            Meth, I believe.

          • just_jim

            Probably on stupid.

          • Gregory Brown

            Well played. Well played indeed.

        • SisterArtemis

          Oh for fuck’s sake!

      • Lizzietish81

        William Tell?

        • Pickwicknext

          I love all of you, but trust none of you to shoot an apple off my head with any type of projectile

          • Shan the Libtart

            Marshmallows? Marshmallows could knock it off. Eventually.

    • Suse

      Not in the least, lollipop.

    • Lizzietish81
  • Enfant Terrible

    The lament of “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” should be properly attributed to the Drumpf campaign, not Hillary Clinton.

  • SeekingBarbie

    I think we have a small troll infestation. Shall we be Responsible Adults and ignore them?

    • Suse

      Nah!

    • Enfant Terrible

      Why do WE have to be the responsible ones?

      • SeekingBarbie

        So Evan won’t scold us again? On the other hand:

        • A Bashful Nobody

          EEK! I is afraid of that “cat”.

          • SeekingBarbie

            I’ve had cats like that. They’re so funny when they sass back.

        • SisterArtemis

          My cats are usually more like this

    • natoslug

      I just got back here — I missed all the damned fun! Hopefully another will stumble in soon.

      • SeekingBarbie

        It was like a flash mob of dimwits. They weren’t really worthy so don’t feel too bad about missing them.

        • SisterArtemis

          True sign of the demise of the GOP: boring trolls

  • NikFromNYC

    An unmentioned photo date is like writing a whole gotcha paragraph on an irrelevant typo. That she has a brain clot issue seriously suggests her medical records are of utmost importance for voters. Nobody “kids around” by bobbling their head around in a bunch of jerks after a reporter asks about her VP pick. Your sneering act is pathetic.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Changed your nym just like that, eh, buddy? Or should I say, “Twisted Root”?

    • doktorzoom

      When I was 20, I slipped on ice and fell on my ass in Flagstaff. Must have been Parkinson’s!

      Oh, and just now I dropped the banhammer on you. How clumsy of me. I should see a doctor about that.

      • Suse

        I fall and trip all the time because I am a klutz and always have been.

    • janecita

      I’m clumsy as hell, my husband says that the ground is my best friend. I broke the same tooth in three different countries (Thank God for dental insurance), I’m always twisting something, pulling something, and I’m only 39 years old. Btw, otherwise I’m extremely healthy.

    • Lizzietish81

      You’re a brain clot

      • (((JustPixelz)))

        If Little Donnie wins, we will envy the brain clots.

    • SeekingBarbie

      And your sneering act is uninformed.

    • kareemachan

      What is it about NY trollettes that makes them so pathetic?

      • SeekingBarbie

        Lack of critical thinking skills?

      • Suse

        They live in the same vicinity as the Drumpf Klan.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      When I was 20, I blew out my knee playing drunken volleyball at the company picnic.

    • SeekingBarbie

      I once walked into a door in the dark while leaving for work coz I didn’t want to disturb my roommate by turning on the light. Got a black eye and a couple people asked if my SO hit me.

      • Suse

        Clearly you have a terrible disease.

    • natoslug

      Do you dye your testes green? If not, why not?

  • janecita

    Can you blame the devil for wanting to leave that broken, diseased, full of holes, 68 year old body? Why can’t Hillary be as healthy as that young studly Republican candidate?

    • A Bashful Nobody

      You mean the orange-skinned guy?

      • janecita

        The one and only,

  • Suse

    Nadia has left the building. Thanks, Dok!

  • Lizzietish81

    I’ve been saying for years that the Don is going senile.

    At least Reagan went AFTER he was elected.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Lizzie lives!!

  • lucidamente

    Not that this anything new. Back in the day, according to Gore Vidal, Republicans liked to claim that FDR’s paralysis was due to syphilis. Good times.

  • Mel S

    Whatever it is, could she please hurry and do it before November???

    • Pickwicknext

      Kick a whole bunch of ass? Ok

      • Mel S

        Yours first, okay?

        • Pickwicknext

          Oh. I missed that you were a troll. Dok! We got another one for ya!

          • SisterArtemis

            Poe’s law got me… I assumed it was snark :/

          • Shan the Libtart

            Same here.

          • MaiaAZ

            We really do need to figure out that secret handshake.

          • Caleb Zaharris

            A very smug, elitist, liberal handshake. If we’re gonna do it, gotta go whole hog with it.

          • SeekingBarbie

            Also NickfromNYC.

        • Suse

          Kiss my grits, Mel.

      • Mel S

        Did you MEAN kick, or something else? Because that might be the lamest comeback ever. Did you have a Hillary moment where you short circuited?

    • SisterArtemis

      Wait a minute – one of my recent Evil Plans was to have her Vince Foster me (I thought it would be a good way to go! an honor, really!) but if SHE’S dyin’ that means I’VE gotta get busy dyin’ and dammit! this just doesn’t time out with the holidays AT ALL!!!

      • Suse

        I’ll send you a fruitcake. That oughta do it.

        • SisterArtemis

          …tempting…

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Hahahaha……you will be sad come November.

    • HazooToo

      You want her to die, or have some horrible disease? Really? You must be one warm, compassionate human being.

      • Mel S

        Whatever gave you that idea?

        • HazooToo

          Are you still here? I would’ve thought you’d be out at the mall by now, pushing people in wheelchairs down the escalator.

          • Mel S

            Are you still here? Oh, wait… you don’t have a job. Typical liberal.

          • HazooToo

            Oooh, rush me to the burn unit.

    • natoslug

      Perhaps you should show her how to do it first.

    • Sakonyachen

      From the recent polls, it’s looking like she’s gonna do it before November.

      Oh sorry, I thought you were talking about burying Trump’s candidacy like a wingnut conspiracy about Vince Foster. You were talking about her dying and such. Women live longer than men I’m afraid. Especially the ones that are independently wealthy. You may need a stronger hope to get you through the next few months. Emails and Benghazi didn’t cut it, maybe go with the Muslim lesbian thing. Nobody takes it seriously, so you won’t technically be proven wrong. Revel in the nuttery, and don’t forget to stock up on tinfoil and Infowars quotes.

      • Mel S

        Lame. Which polls, the ones that have been proven rigged? Just like the DNC? Muwhahahahahahaha

        • Sakonyachen

          And the proof is?

          • Mel S

            Every media outlet.

          • Sakonyachen

            So conformation bias.

  • GalacticPunt

    This is my first comment here, though I’d like to believe I’m not part of the troll brigade. I saw a lot of these Hillary health conspiracies on the Twitterz this morning. What I keep breaking my brain trying to understand is… WHY do right wingers think it would actually HELP Donnie if any of it was true?

    Scenario #1: It comes to light that Hillary is putting a brave face on chronic seizures and balance problems while traveling the nation giving 20-minute speeches so she can be the first gosh darn lady president ever. That would actually humanize her and win her sympathy with even more voters as a frail little old lady pushing through her ailments.

    Scenario #2: It comes to light that Hillary has some terminal ailment and is expected to expire a year or two into her first term. I say look at Scenario #1 again. Who’s going to vote against the dying candidate?

    Scenario #3: Hillary keels over dead in September. Then Bernie’s back, baby! (Okay, maybe that’s my fantasy now) But really, if a major party’s candidate dies their millions of supporters don’t evaporate. The party puts forward Kaine, Sanders, or whoever and they vow to honor Hillz’ memory, stomping Trump in November just the same.

    I would really be entertained if a right winger would explain why we should be panicked by the idea of a sickly Hillary.

    • Lizzietish81

      Scenario 4, She dies in the presidency, Bill becomes president again

      • GalacticPunt

        El Presidente Clinton for life!

        • Jukesgrrl

          Don’t Cry For Me Arkansastina

      • gedjcj

        LOL, but I don’t think it works that way.

        Though we might end up with a Woodrow Wilson/Ronald Reagan scenario.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Would you explain that, please?

          • gedjcj

            Woodrow Wilson suffered a massive stroke on Oct 2, 1918. It is widely accepted that First Lady Edith Bolling Galt Wilson assumed the “stewardship” of the Presidency. While she claimed to never had made an executive decision the was the gateway and final arbiter of what the President would see, hear, or read. Some have suggested that she was the de facto first female President of the United States.

            Ronald Reagan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 1994. It’s a matter of debate as to whether and how much he suffered during his term of office, but there is ample evidence that First Lady Nancy Reagan was in charge of his schedules and activities in his second term. Also that he was provided with scripts to follow in all of his meetings. Also too, that Mrs Reagan never made a decision without consulting her astrologer.

          • SeekingBarbie

            Thanks for going to the trouble to explain. I knew about the Reagans but not about the Wilsons. It’s scary to think how much can be hidden about the president’s health.

          • gedjcj

            It’s scary to think how much can be hidden, period. I came of political age during the Vietnam War and Watergate. I read the Pentagon Papers, I read the transcripts. I retain hope because these things did come to light, though I’m not sure we, as a society, have learned any long term lessons. A hell of a lot of damage was done before it was stopped.

          • SeekingBarbie

            So did I, although I didn’t read the papers. However, we no longer support the kind of journalism that exposed those crimes. John Oliver just had a segment on that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq2_wSsDwkQ

          • Jukesgrrl

            My mother lived through Roosevelt’s entire presidency and she didn’t know about his paralysis until long after he was dead.

      • Suse

        Scenario #5: Bamz comes back and saves the planet!

        • SeekingBarbie

          SuperObama1

      • phoenix00

        (*psst*, not to ruin your mood, but Tim Kaine would take over the presidency)

    • HazooToo

      I think they’re trying to scare people into thinking she’ll lose her mind and nuke the planet, go all dotty and forget where she is and nuke the planet, or get depressed and suicidal and nuke the planet. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. She’s fine, they’re full of shit, and I’m still voting for her ass. Also, welcome and please enjoy free coffee and kittens in the romper room.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Every time someone criticizes Trump, the RW tries to turn it around and do the same thing to Hillary.

      • MaiaAZ

        I think it’s actually more nuanced than that. She is a woman. Obviously, women, especially those past menopause, are weak and quite daft.

        They are invoking the little ole lady. How can a strong country be led by a feeble old lady?

        • HazooToo

          She may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but she has the heart and soul of a President.

          • SeekingBarbie

            ISWYDT

          • MaiaAZ

            I knew you would ;)

          • MaiaAZ

            Women live longer than men. She is nowhere close to to our oldest candidate or President. I certainly do not see her as old or feeble. My only point is how the opposition was trying to paint her and that portrayal is something we should point and laugh at.

            I’m with her.

          • HazooToo

            Absolutely! My point was to paraphrase Queen Elizabeth the First. She was a BEAST! In a good way. I’m with her, too.

          • MaiaAZ

            Damnit! I hate when I miss a good reference. I am sadly unfamiliar with the quote you are alluding to. Might you educate me?

          • HazooToo

            It was from a speech addressed to her soldiers, in preparation to battle the Spanish Armada, I believe. This page tells the thing. I have very fond childhood memories of very intense actresses with booming voices playing Queen Elizabeth at many Ren Faires, and she’s always been my favorite historical figure. And even I still got the quote a little wrong, lol
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speech_to_the_Troops_at_Tilbury

          • SeekingBarbie

            (This is for MaiaAZ) The line from the speech is “I know I have the body of a weak, feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king.”

          • SeeTrain65

            Or, the Blackadder version, delivered by Miranda Richardson:

            “I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.”

          • DemmeFatale

            Helen Mirren…”I have the heart and stomach of a Prince!”
            I remember thinking, “Prince?”
            Just figured it was some Tudor form of speech.

          • berkeleyfarm

            It is. She was identifying herself as the ruler and bold and strong where it really counted.

            A title remnant exists even today in Britain; one of Queen Elizabeth’s subsidary titles (the one that provides most of her real wealth) is Duke – not Duchess – of Lancaster.

        • SisterArtemis

          MISS MARPLE 2024!!!

          • Amalga

            I just happen to be watching Miss Marple right now! Coincidence? I think not?

    • Suse

      Do you even like cats? How about hedgehogs and goats?

      • GalacticPunt

        Not sure if those questions are truly meant for me, but cats are great. On the other hand, Sonic the Hedgehog needs to pay for his crimes against humanity.

        • Suse

          I ask because we post lots of photos of these critters on days when we feel very bad about things like mass shootings.

        • WIDTAP

          It’s also good to know on days when we are feeling particularly evil, we might threaten harm to cats and hedgehogs…with votes.

    • gedjcj

      I’ll give you benefit of the doubt on trolling, so welcome to the dark side, we have pie. (No we don’t, the pie is a lie.)

      On the other hand I don’t actually see that any of your scenarios make sense. I’m a staunch supporter but I don’t see how finding out she was hiding a grave illness that would affect her ability to serve would sway any of the “Hillary is a congenital liar!” crowd. You’d have be a Tim Kaine fanboy/girl/genderfluid to think this was a plus.

      As for scenario #3, that would be a disaster of epic proportions. See this piece about what it would mean if Trump withdrew.

      • SeekingBarbie

        In our gun obsessed society, it would behoove the country to figure out how to handle the death of a candidate. We’ve dodged a bullet on that.

        • MaiaAZ

          We’re gonna need pie for that.

      • natoslug

        The pie is a lie? First the cake (even the ones we like), and now pie? Is there anything real in this world?

        • Poe’s Law

          In the words of a Hindu chant

          Emptiness, emptiness
          What an awakening!

        • SeekingBarbie

          Welcome to the Matrix.

          • natoslug

            The cedar cheese better be real, at least.

        • gedjcj

          There is the enduring cuteness of Donna Rose, we cling to what we can.

      • Poe’s Law

        I see no trolling in your post.

        On the other hand, I think you’re overcomplicating.

        @SeekingBarbie had it about right

        Every time someone criticizes Trump, the RW tries to turn it around and do the same thing to Hillary.

        Trump is now trying to paint Clinton as unstable and temprementally unfit to be President.

        Sound familiar?

        • berkeleyfarm

          “I know you are, but what am I?”

      • MaiaAZ

        Wait, no pie? What?! I was just told last night it was on the window sill cooling. *feeling confused and betrayed*

      • Sakonyachen

        “(No we don’t, the pie is a lie.)”

        We do have cake though, right?

      • whyjoe

        But…

  • A Bashful Nobody

    I is sad now because she will not live long enough for me to vote for her………….

    • SisterArtemis

      Oh, write her in anyway. Maybe they’ll let Bill have another go at it

    • Suse

      Vote early (and often).

  • Bemused

    Dear Republicans, nothing trumps Insane.

    GW Bush was stupid but not insane.
    Reagan was senile, but not insane.
    Nixon was a criminal, but not insane.
    JFK was chronically ill and in pain, but not insane.
    FDR was paralyzed but not insane.
    William Henry Harrison caught pneumonia and died a month after he was inaugurated, but not insane.

    All these people were better presidents (yes, even Reagan and Nixon) than Nuke-Crazy Trump would be.

    • Suse

      I think Nick Dixon was on the verge of insanity, what with the crying and talking to the portraits in the White House and all. Maybe he was just drunk.

      • SisterArtemis

        Tortured, anyway, emotionally speaking. I think in a way he was having a mental breakdown at the end – the conflict between his own view, the reality of the situation at the end of his term in office, and the conflicts between his own behavior and the religious lessons of his youth… yeah, breakdown central

      • Bemused

        Truthfully, there was some paranoia there too.

    • Jukesgrrl

      You forgot Jimmy Carter. He lusted in his heart for a killer rabbit but he wasn’t insane.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Also Bill Clinton. He lusted in several places but he wasn’t insane.

  • Suse

    Got this email from hillaryclinton.com today.

    “We’ve mapped out every day left in this election — and we know exactly
    what we need to raise every 24 hours to fund our organization and beat
    Trump.

    This weekend, for the first time since the convention, we fell short.

    And I wouldn’t feel bad about that except I’m pretty sure that Trump’s
    fundraising is still picking up steam after his $80 million month in
    July.

    The amount we raise determines how many field organizers we can hire in
    states like Ohio or how many people in Nevada will see a Hillary for
    America ad that week.

    If this becomes a pattern, we could fall behind Trump’s team for the
    month of August. Trump and the GOP already came really close to beating
    us in July — we can’t let them close the gap and overtake us.”

    Please join and send them some moneys. They’re only asking for $1, but please give what you can – Suse

  • Blender_415

    EVERYONE knows HRC wore white at the convention b/c she’s practicing to be an angel.

    • SisterArtemis

      why do you think she wears those A-line tunic tops? … yep, it’s the wings.

  • AnOuthouse

    What is Hoft’s excuse for his Face? That’s a bleached turd if I ever saw one.

  • tom

    Hillary’s melting down.
    Snark away.
    The Hillary plane is flying into the side of the electoral mountain.

    • SeekingBarbie

      You’re late to the party – the rest of the flash mob has already been expelled. Shoo!

    • natoslug

      She’s a snowman? Er, snowwoman? Then won’t there just be more of her after she flies into the side of the mountain? Or is it a really low mountain, without any snow on it? I don’t know that you’ve really thought this through.

      • Poe’s Law

        More Hialries?

        Sounds like a good thing.

    • Poe’s Law

      Where a well maintained landing strip and cheering crowds await her triumphal triumph.

    • ryp

      You should probably start practicing your Hillary stole the election posts if this is the best you can do.

    • jmk

      Do you get paid by the lame-ass metaphor?

  • Zyxomma

    It’s all code. The thought of a President with a female reproductive system, let alone a post-menopausal reproductive system, is just too much for the rightwing nutjob. Makes their heads all splodey.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      They’d rather go with a brain dead man than a living woman.

    • MizzMazz

      And they’re the same ones who say a woman cannot be presnit because PMS. WE just can’t do anything, because ovaries.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I guess Dead Breitfart would be expert at people being dead.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    When would Citizen Kaine become president?

  • natoslug

    Did Hillary kill herself this time? DOES THAT WOMAN HAVE NO LIMITS!???!!!!!! She must be the Clinton machine I keep hearing about, which is disappointing, because that means we perfected fembots decades ago, and nobody told me. You bastards.

  • Jenny

    My “libertarian” boss brought up Hillary scandals today insisting the election was rigged followed by all the talking points the last few days. After he was done it was nice to say oh yeah, any other Drudge talking points because you just went through the last few days word for word.

    Everyone laughed because we all know he’s so smart and an independent thinker!

    Odd how the more you think you know, the less you actually do.

    • Poe’s Law

      You should listen to your boss because being your boss he (?) must be better and smarter than you.

      It’s a meritocracy, isn’t it?

      • alnnc

        And your boss can also fire you, so laughing at anything besides a joke, with a plus for laughing at a lame joke, may not be advisable, at least in right to work states.

        • whyjoe

          Also don’t forget to let your boss grope you if he wants. If you don’t like it, get another career?

  • natoslug

    Another human brought low by time. When are we going to do something about this scourge that is killing us all?

    • Poe’s Law

      Not at all. Death is the sweet release from the insane, meaninglessness that is existence.

      • natoslug

        My life has plenty of meaning. Let’s see, there’s the pulling of the weeds that continue to grow over and over, requiring me to pull them, there’s the lawn, always in need of mowing, the house, always in need of cleaning, the laundry, perpetually cycling through the washer . . .

        • Poe’s Law

          You find meaning in that? Those are exactly the things that drive me to distraction.

          I envy you.

          • natoslug

            It means that I am a cog in the green machine, one which will wear down long before any other element of it will.

        • Msgr_Moment

          You forgot Beer.

          • natoslug

            Beer helps me forget the meaning of my life. It’s a saving grace.

  • tom

    Hillary supporters are bummed they missed out on the Jim Jones bandwagon.
    At least he left behind some Koolaid for you “folks.”

    • SeekingBarbie

      No, they’re not. You are neither clever nor interesting. Get thee gone.

    • ryp

      Donald Trump is the koolaid, and you already drank it.

    • Delu

      There is no greater Kool Aide than Hate.

      It’ what you’re drinking by the gallon.

    • Enfant Terrible

      This must be your Tinder profile pic, eh?

    • Panika MCD

      grammatical violation: random and unnecessary quotation marks. you face a $10 fine to our Wonkette.

      • WomanInAMood

        No kidding. What are we, if not folks?

        Oh dear, that got a little existential.

      • Msgr_Moment

        I’m confused. Should it be “folk’s” or “folks'”? I flunked Basic Wingnut in school.

        • Panika MCD

          “folk”s-ies’

  • Jukesgrrl

    Well, Trump’s not in any danger of falling down. He walks so slowly he couldn’t trip if he tried. We constantly see President Obama jog down the steps of Air Force One. Have you ever seen Don the Con even WALK down a flight of stairs? I haven’t. We have plenty of film of him on an escalator, but I’ve never seen him walking up or down stairs unaided.

    • Poe’s Law

      I will never defend the Trumpster, but I will call disabled libelz. FDR, JFK.

      • SeekingBarbie

        True, but we can call out hypocrisy.

        • Poe’s Law

          Absolutely, but we must be careful to not take the easy line and betray our own values.

          • berkeleyfarm

            *bing* *bing* *bing*

      • Jukesgrrl

        I never said FDR and JFK didn’t have health issues. It’s a well-known fact. I never said Hillary doesn’t have health issues either. She probably does. Most people over 60 do and we know she was hospitalized once recently. I just think Trump’s doctor’s statement that, “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency,” is poppycock.

        • Poe’s Law

          Ok. I don’t disagree with anything you said (though I would nuance it a bit because there are plenty of people under 60 with health issues and plenty of people over 60 in busting good health, and health is not the same as ability)

          But you realize that your last sentence is moving the goal post, yes?

  • Bowing up little kids for the M.I.C., probably. Evan.

    Think she’ll get that Kissinger endorsement soon?

    https://www.thenation.com/article/henry-kissinger-hillary-clintons-tutor-in-war-and-peace/
    ~

    • ryp

      Well, somebody is suffering from a brain injury apparently.

    • SeekingBarbie

      After the putrid turd you dropped the other night and this hateful hard-on you seem to have for Evan, I invite you to leave and beseech the banhammer to descend upon you. Hard.

      • DemmeFatale

        What happened?
        Thunder has been here for ages.
        I must’ve missed something.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Look at his commenting history. A couple of nights ago he made a repulsive comment that was so tasteless that I don’t even want to copy and paste it, and I don’t have particularly delicate sensibilities. One of the other people who was on the thread and who knew him in the past expressed confusion over it as you have.

          • DemmeFatale

            Never go full Bernie Bro.

          • berkeleyfarm

            I was thinking “the brown acid” but that may be a distinction without a difference.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          good question…

        • starfanglednut

          He’s always hated Hillary. I had to take him to task one day for calling her a corporate whore. I was a sanders supporter in the primaries, but there’s no excuse for calling women whores. I told him so, and didn’t see him around for a bit after that. He may seem, and probably is, by and large sane, but he is one of those I’m- smarter-and-more-progressive-than-the-rest-of-you types. I’ve never liked him all that much. Remember that guy paleoemoprog or whatever his name was? Those two are of a similar ilk.

    • Rotisserie Teal

      So, is she tying little bows on the children? What’s so bad about that?

      • cat cafe

        No, no, she’s “bowing” them, teaching them to bow and curtsy. It’s basic etiquette. So nice of her!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      dude, WTF has happened to you? You used to be, what’s the word I’m looking for?

      Sane

  • tom

    THIS JUST IN:

    The agricultural devastation caused by Hillary’s chai lattes has killed more inner-city youth than Magaret Sanger’s Planned Parenthood.

    The study, funded by Citizens United For Perpetual Grievances, found that coffee bean farmers did not receive a $15.00/hour wage to pick Hillary’s chai latte coffee beans.

    The group called for a rally against Republicans.

    To keep on topic, Hillary has Parkinson’s.

    If she becomes President, her involutary movements will cause her to push the wrong buttons, thereby nuking Bethesda, Maryland, instead of Russia.

    CNN and MSNBC will defend her actions.
    “Those suburban poseurs deserved it.”

    • phoenix00

      > The agricultural devastation caused by Hillary’s chai lattes has killed more inner-city youth than Magaret Sanger’s Planned Parenthood.

      > The study, funded by Citizens United For Perpetual Grievances,

      This is either awesome snark or atrocious trolling. So confused….

      • Shan the Libtart

        The “chai latte coffee beans” is making me go with snark.

        • jmk

          Commenting history indicates tom’s an asshole.

        • phoenix00

          You gotta admit that’s a great line.

      • SeekingBarbie

        Take a look at his commenting history. Lame trolling.

        • phoenix00

          I did. And yes this guy’s power level is LOOOOOW.

          But I must say that is some quality word salad this guy’s whipped up.

    • Panika MCD

      agriculture products produced in mass quantities are not farmed in the inner-cities…nor are they the product of the inner-titties.

      you’re thinking of strawberry pickers and the parent company of Haagen Daaz.

      I’d call for a rally against you if you weren’t so boring.

      oh, I see you also fancy yourself a doctor. could you look at this mole for me?
      http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/5cf/768/054/resized/evil-mole-meme-generator-im-back-59a405.jpg

      your involuntary movements have caused you to be in the wrong place. may want to have that checked out.

      and no one will defend your actions. SAD!

  • Comments_Usually_Suck ©

    Everyone knows Hillary likes to run steps. She burns calories that way. If you look closely at the picture her entrouge was out of breath and they obviously couldn’t keep up with her and she had to reach out to hold them up.

  • x111e7thst

    on rare occasions wonkette’s excellent policy on commenting makes me slightly melancholy. this probably means that I need to meditate more, or take more xanax. perhaps both. probably both

    • Sakonyachen

      When in doubt, take more Xanax.

    • phoenix00

      Beer is my tonic.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Wow, another message on Jabber from V. Putin!

    This is a message from me, Vladimir Putin, to Trump supporters on favorite blog of mommies, “Wonkette”. We Russians are most of all interested in the US elections and hope that the American businessman Donald Trump will prevail. We find him more receptive to our interests and our point of view. He has no objection to this, that we annexed the Crimea! And neither do you, is not it? Please take my advice about these American “Wonketteers”. They do not fight dirty, as the Germans did in Great Patriotic War They are struggling with their minds, with their ridiculous non sequiturs, their kitten videos and their so-called “facts.” They can be sublimely clever with such unimportant things, but they are helpless in the face of brute force propaganda that we are so expert in the field. You must counter these tactics its facts gleaned from websites, like “Breitbart” and “Red State”, that I would usually find anathema because they are not funny. Politics makes strange bed fellows, yes? That is life! Apply yourself diligently, and you will get what is coming to you!

    • Msgr_Moment

      Seems legit, but needs moar barechestedness and bear wrassling.

  • redarmyzombie

    “Do you know which wingnut webtubes site actually corrected the record? TWITCHY, IT WAS TWITCHY, OH MY GOD ONE OF THEIR NINE PAID STAFFERS EARNED HER PAYCHECK TODAY”

    Hold the presses, break out the smelling salts, and check the skies for airborne porcines,

    • Land Shark

      Jeeves! Pull out my fainting couch!

  • cat cafe

    Hillary is weak and ill! Hillary starts entire wars just with her little fingers! Hillary has a disabled frontal cortex! Hillary is a cunning mastermind in league with Russian uranium companies! Hillary can’t walk! Hillary cold bloodedly murders anyone who writes about her and also schoolchildren in Honduras! Hillary is brain damaged! Hillary is a Machiavellian, email deleting, rampaging warrior who successfully forces regime change on countries who don’t want it! WITCH!! WITCH!!! BURN HER!!!

    • SisterArtemis

      Hey, she turned me into a newt!

      • DCJensen

        Me too, but I got better.

    • jmk

      Why, she’s nearly as versatile as that hardcore evil, mom-jeans-wearing, ladyman wimpy, gun-grabbing, do-nothing dictator, Obama!!

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      She punches every hole in the RWNJ derp ticket.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Isn’t it interesting that, as soon as people start speculating there is something physically or mentally wrong with Donald Trump, his supporters start speculating that there is something physically or mentally wrong with Hillary Clinton.

    You know, people who act win elections. People who react don’t.

  • NotALiar

    I’m a hillary guy and I’ve also helped my grandma up many stairs. Those guys on the side don’t look like they are catching a fall but kindly helping an older lady up the stairs. Which is fine of course. But I get that you don’t want your candidate to look frail.

    • SeekingBarbie

      The story said she had just slipped, so I’m doubting that being helped up stairs is usual for her. I’m just a year younger than Hillary and know lots of people over 65 who are far from frail and quite able to take stairs, hike, ski and otherwise live active lives.

      • NotALiar

        Absolutely. I guess I was just assuming they were saying the pic was mid fall. It’s probably a few moments later and she was shaken up and they were still holding on to her.

    • roberteye

      You get nothing but blocked

      • NotALiar

        Ok

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    The right seems obessed with Clinton’s health. Not sure why, maybe they could drive her out of office like Harriet Jones from Doctor Who

    • Shoto

      Perhaps this inordinate preoccupation with Clinton’s health is one of those fancy, sleight-of-hand, magician-type deals to keep the electorate from noticing that orange man-baby Drumpf is dim-witted, functionally illiterate, and, y’know, mentally unbalanced, completely off the rails, and way out in the derp-field? Just spitballin’…

      And speaking of orange man-baby Drumpf being unfit, there’s this:

      https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3007589/Nationalsecurityletter.pdf

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Trying to distract from everything wrong with Trump.

  • Be Gin

    OK. I’ll admit to a bit of ambivalence about Ms. Clinton…up to now.

    I wished she was less of a centrist…up to now.

    I have had some doubts about her…up to now.

    But that all disappeared when I saw this crap being peddled by these wing nuts.

    I will say it loud and proud: NO BULLYING OLD LADIES YOU ASSHOLES!

    Fuck ya’ll and the horse you rode in on!

    • SeekingBarbie

      She has proved that she is tough and can take their stupid bullying. I object to referring to her as an “old lady.” I haven’t heard anyone refer to Trump as an “old man,” yet he has repeatedly shown himself to be thin-skinned and vengeful.

      • jowgajen

        Old lady is a badge of honor. Dying young is highly overrated.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Privately, perhaps. But I’m looking for a job and I don’t think hearing myself described as an old lady would be a good sign.

        • SisterArtemis

          I decided when I was still a kid that I wanted to be a kickass old lady (possibly motivated by a love of Miss Marple) with all her wits and maybe a sharp tongue. Shaped my life path in many ways, I think.

      • Be Gin

        I am old.

        An old man.

        And I don’t refer to Donnie as an “old man” because he doesn’t measure up to my definition of the word “man”.

        Now I must apologize for my reference to Ms. Clinton as an “old lady”. My blood was up and I shouldn’t write when my head is clouded. I guess my training as a youngster to treat our mothers and grandmothers with a great deal of care just kicked in and off I went.

        I would like to think that if any senior woman stumbled near me I would not disparage her or mock her age. I would want to be the guy who reached out to help her.

        • SeekingBarbie

          Thank you. I am a little tetchy about people thinking of me as old when I have perfectly ordinary non-old stumbles.

    • Msgr_Moment

      NO BULLYING HORSES!

  • Courser

    Dumbasses. All of them.

  • Incoming Ham

    Perhaps they should be more concerned about their own nominees mental health…

    • AJ Milne

      Incoming Han, I suspect their own candidate’s (yeah, let’s just say questionable) condition is _exactly_ why they’re trying this tack. As is that candidate himself. Making these claims about her being ‘unstable’ and so on.

      It’s a growing problem for them: the longer Trump is out there, visible, the more his manifest weaknesses hurt him. Now, under the scrutiny of the general campaign, his stories are blowing apart fast, and he’s feeling the heat, getting worse, having to talk ever faster to cover it up with the next bit of BS, looking more and more like a man in a self-induced tailspin. There was a gap in people’s sense of their competencies already; given this, now, it only grows ever more massive after each unhinged outburst he makes. The dynamic growing is: even people who otherwise dislike Clinton can see, with the time they’ve had to compare: she’s the competent one, the calm one, the steady one. Hell, she’s _long_ had a bit of that reputation–cool and smooth–and against a short-fused nutbar like Trump, it’s now night and day.

      So, next up, _this_ silliness. A bit grasping at straws, at this point, but, ah, y’know, liars will lie, and this lot will try _anything_. It’s not just a bit of I know you are, but what am I (tho’ some of that, too… and expecting even second grade-type debating skills from much of this lot is probably expecting too much), but an attempt to level that perception out. Let’s say she’s crazy, let’s say she’s sick, whatever we can desperately pray might stick or at least raise some doubts; seeing as a lot of people are now asking entirely too out loud just what the hell is wrong with our guy, and wondering whether he’ll actually go off cackling and screaming into the primate cage _before_ the debates, maybe if we can deflect it a bit, it’ll distract, level things out a bit. It’s a pretty desperate gambit, dunno it’s gonna get them far; probably at best it might sound reassuring to those already bought and paid for, give them some help in trying to convince themselves somehow not only now that Hillary’s ‘just as bad’ but, also, against all evidence going, ‘just as crazy’.

      I’m a nice person, tho’. So I’m not gonna point out: umm, it’s interesting she’s having this alleged ‘breakdown’ as she’s _winning_. By a mile. In every forecast going. Nah, won’t go mentioning just how unlikely this is. Nor am I gonna be so nasty as to go to that, hey, just possibly, their own strikingly poorly chosen grifter of a candidate _could_ tell them right now in rich and intimate detail just what _does_ break you, somethin’ like having certain key fragilities Ms. Done This My Whole Life And Damn Good At It By Now really doesn’t anymore, and being way off on the other end of those forecasts, and having no damn clue what you’re doing, but having come into this all the same way too full of bluster and chest-thumping manufactured certainty… and now, increasingly realizing you _can’t_ quite fool enough of the people enough of the time after all…

      I mean, that’d be just mean. I mean, I’m sure this is all very comforting for them, in its own little way.

      (First time commenter… I think… but very long-time lurker.)

      • greyXstar

        That’s one hell of a first comment (which you should know, aren’t allowed). Welcome aboard, wipe your shoes please.

  • zigzzagz

    Not to worry. She’ll have plenty of time to recover when Trump takes office. A nice like holiday and an easy retirement with all that Clinton Cash will set her to rights.

    • SisterArtemis

      lolz *yawn*

      • WomanInAMood

        Wow, this one’s posting history has all the bad things.

        • Suse

          A thoroughly nasty specimen.

        • SisterArtemis

          Should we don hazmat suits?

          • WomanInAMood

            Oh my yes. And extra applications of Troll-B-Gone. Possibly some citronella, garlic and amulets. It is not nice. Not nice at all.

          • SisterArtemis

            Should I wait to toke? or will it be helpful in this sort of crisis?

          • WomanInAMood

            I myself am using ample amounts of alcohol to decontaminate the area. Fire away, my friend!

    • Enfant Terrible

      Gosh! It’s as if a character popped out of a Maureen Dowd column!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Too well developed of a character to be from MoDo

    • Brian

      Donald Trump is totally going to win, in a certain way.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Elections are like golf, right? Donny is going for a record breaking low score card for the yooooooogest win

    • Suse

      Opium dreams aren’t real.

    • Panika MCD

      you seem to have missed today’s Titty Pot Dome scandal.

      • WomanInAMood

        Harding reference ftw!

      • SisterArtemis

        1000 upvotes!

    • WomanInAMood

      So is Clinton Cash anything like Monopoly Money? That would so liven up board game night if I swapped them!

      • SisterArtemis

        I was think something along the lines of Cash Cab

        • WomanInAMood

          I am embarrassed to admit how much I like that show.

          • CripesAmighty

            That’s still a thing?

      • WhyFelicia

        Hold out for Whore Diamonds. Or Ameros.

        • SisterArtemis

          Oooooo! always wanted me some of them whore diamonds!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Trump gets to be the top hat, please, please, please!!

    • King of America

      538 shows an election held today would have a 96.4% chance of being won by Clinton.

      I hope that helps!

      • Msgr_Moment

        UNSQUEUE THE LIEBERAL POLES, SHEEPEL!!

    • Bub the Leftwing Zombie

      What a dipshit you are. At the rate things are going, by November MY chances of being elected president will be better than Drumpf’s. Reality is about to slap you upside the head, moron.

    • Allen Jordan

      Actually, the real question is if Trump going to finish ahead or behind Gary Johnson and Mitt Romney or that other dude from Utah.

      • Kenneth Clifton

        That’s one stupid question. Gary who? Cucks don’t bother.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Go with the classics, I say…

    https://youtu.be/8Jsu_qgVuhg

    • Gregory Brown

      He played on the university of Michigan football team for christ’s sake. Although, to be honest, I have not checked the records of the teams he played on.

    • SeekingBarbie

      Meh. Humans stumble and fall for any number of reasons, most of them insignificant.

    • Brian

      you forgot all of the other times Ford fell!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF98NkctXDU

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Yeah, Ford was no Chevy Chase. It was funny when Ford did it.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      My god, he nearly fell on the USAF guy with the nuke codes.

      • Sheepshagger

        “Counterforce bitches!”

  • guppy06

    The stupidest homosexual on the internet

    This epithet implies that there are hetero’s/bi’s/inter’s/queers/whatevers that are stupider. I posit there are not.

    • SisterArtemis

      feeling the need for some kind of venn diagram….

      • M Dubs

        It’s really simple: draw a big circle and label that ‘stupid’, then draw a smaller circle inside of it and label that ‘humanity’. Any subdivisions for stupid human demographics and animals can be added to taste.

    • phoenix00

      Milos Yiannopoulos? Homosexual birds of stupid feathers do flock together

      • Daniel Burke

        Calling people stupid isn’t an argument and makes you look stupid.

        • phoenix00

          Do you have a counterargument? Everything Milos has said and done epitomizes stupid.

          Unless you’re calling me stupid in which case check your own post.

        • wzrd1

          Calling people leftie when they disagree with your assessment that, contrary to the laws of all 50 states, that anyone may make a diagnosis, while the fact is opposite makes one look stupid.
          You see, in the United States of America, each state may license a physician, but we have a unified best practice that requires that only a physician may make a diagnosis and that physician may only do so by directly, physically examining a patient.

  • Allen Jordan

    It’s interesting. Seriously. In Doctor Who it was “Doesn’t she look tired?” spoken once to bring down the Prime Minister. These idiots can’t leave well enough alone and suddenly Trump is going to lose to a walking corpse (according to InfoWars).

    • Brian

      Harriet Jones: “Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.”
      Hillary Clinton: “Yes, I know who you are.”
      Donald Trump: “That’s great, babe. Who’s the man in charge, sad tits?”

    • Brian

      now we’re staying up late watch Doctor Who Harriet Jones episodes. Thanks a lot. seriously! : )

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Unless you are the Doctor, its not going to work on Hiliary

  • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

    Hillary is dying from a medical disorder called “Jesus christ, she’s like a goddamn terminator. How can we stop her campaign? WE NEED IDEAS, PEOPLE. Time to throw a shitload of spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks”

    • jmhm

      What’s sad is that this one is a two year old effort of Karl Rove’s which sank like a stone, and they have nothing better.

  • folderol

    She’s dying of terminal over-reaction, as the video clearly shows.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      I can account for all of them. He was drunk.

  • Choking Kojak

    General: “The missiles are inbound.”

    White House Staff: “I’m sorry General, but the President has had a seizure and she is not feeling well. Could you come back in a couple of hours?”

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      General: “The missiles are inbound.”

      White House Staff: “I’m sorry General, but President Trump has launched them all. You know, he really doesn’t have a fucking clue about US military strategy..”

      • WampusKat

        According to Marine Generalisimo Allen of the 4 stars, Hillz is more than up to the task:

        “FULL: General John Allen (ret. USMC) – Democratic National Convention”
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O0uv4_ryas

        Also, too: “50 Republican National Security Officials Eviscerate Trump in Open Letter”

        Read it and weep: http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/321054_50_Republican_National_Securit

      • Choking Kojak

        I see, the White House is informing the military-command of a launch, lol.

        Fail.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon
          • Choking Kojak

            A bunch of drones who’d just as readily play birthday party clown for $5,000-$10,000, lol? Yeah nice-try, sucker, lol.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            See ya in mid November, fuck knuckle.

          • Choking Kojak

            Really, turd-burglar, lol?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Good god, not only are you stupid, you’re tedious. Good luck with ever becoming a productive member of society.

          • Choking Kojak

            Sure thing, chode-juggler, lol.

          • jmhm

            Oh dear. The twelve year old is back.

            I suppose it’s just as well its community is smart enough not to let it babysit, but surely handing down a sentence of grim death on thousands of blades of innocent grass would release more endorphins than this pitiful display.

          • Holy smokes, that was weak.

          • Choking Kojak

            Really, lol?

    • Msgr_Moment

      You’re late. The rest of the bile, nasty shart mob has already come and gone.

      • Choking Kojak

        Ah yes, but they left you and I can understand why, lol.

        • Msgr_Moment

          How cute that you’ve chosen a loveable, Greek-American, lollipop-sucking TV detective character as a nickname for your penis. Carry on.

          • jmhm

            A docking fan, perhaps.

    • WampusKat

      You already posted this. Therefore, I’ll reply again:

      “Trump Supporter Posts Forged Hillary Clinton Medical Records on Twitter”

      “So tonight, we discover that an anonymous Donald Trump supporter is
      tweeting obviously forged medical records to push the “Hillary Clinton
      is sick” right wing meme — a delusion that’s really getting to be a thing in right wing circles this week. These tweets are already being widely shared by right
      wingers on Twitter, and will probably show up on Gateway Pundit soon…”
      http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/46244_Trump_Supporter_Posts_Forged_Hillary_Clinton_Medical_Records_on_Twitter

      Reeks of desperation, huh?

  • Stein Olsen

    Her human body is breaking down. She needs a new host.

    • jmhm

      No, see, if you’re a Trump fan and you’re new to the process, you would have no way of knowing this, but it’s actually pretty unusual for the candidate to be an intestinal parasite. Most of them feed themselves.

      • Stein Olsen

        I was a Bernie fan in fact. I consider Hillary the lesser evil. Rather her corruption than Trumps incompetence. As sad as that may be. At least she has experience, so there is that.

        • jmhm

          There is that. So perhaps the casual rhetorical dehumanization can go on hold?

          • Stein Olsen

            She is part of the establishments, so I won’t play nice. There will be little change with her. She is no visionary. However, I do believe she won’t fuck up America. I know Trump will.

          • jmhm

            No, she’s no visionary. She’s also not a human-eating alien. Acknowledging that doesn’t require you to play nice.

          • cleos_mom

            Yes, just think of the horrors visited on the nation if an establishment Congressman of two decades became Harrumpher In Chief.

  • Jenniferehager4

    <<y:i. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bz694a:….,.

  • CripesAmighty

    The heartbreak of Jet Lag.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Poor fucking wingnuts. If hope was the same as success, she’d have been dead long ago. Alas, wingnut hope is more akin to butthurt.

  • Mike Steele

    Though I’ve never been crazy about her politics, as a fellow Class of ’65 HS grad, I find HRC’s energy and endurance remarkable. As she crisscroses the country making personal appearances from dawn to dusk, it takes every ounce of strength I can muster to make a Panera’s run. That gal’s got my vote on moxie alone…

  • kaydenpat

    Let’s keep it real. Between Clinton and Trump, who looks healthier? There is no way that Trump is healthier than Clinton in any way.

    • Land Shark

      The Hair Ferret seems to be healthy … the host? Not so much ….

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Trump looks like he could blow a fuse any day now. Hope he doesn’t, they’ll find a more viable candidate. Probably not possible to find a less viable one.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I don’t see what the confusion is. Substandard Trump-built stairs; she tripped. The End.

  • WampusKat

    Wingnut Meme indicates massive desperation:

    “Trump Supporter Posts Forged Hillary Clinton Medical Records on Twitter”

    “So tonight, we discover that an anonymous Donald Trump supporter is tweeting
    obviously forged medical records to push the “Hillary Clinton is sick” right wing meme — a delusion that’s really getting to be a thing in right wing circles this week. These tweets are already being widely shared …”
    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/46244_Trump_Supporter_Posts_Forged_Hillary_Clinton_Medical_Records_on_Twitter

    • Daniel Burke

      So that’s why even the MSM are reporting it?

  • SeanT1001

    Big deal. Ford stumble-bummed though his presidency, Kennedy had to be carried places sometimes, and Reagan relied on Don Regan to tell him what to do, where to go and what to say, much like Sith Emperor Cheney (has no heart or pulse) did for Jar Jar Bush when he was in charge.

  • parkii

    I fall down like 10 times a week, and would still be a better preznit than Trump.

  • 7%solution

    I wonder what kind of mental illnesses Trump will expose on Nov 8, right after the polls close when he gives a concession speech. I’m sure we’ll learn about a few new ones.

  • Snarky

    Matt Drudge has been such a bitchy queen lately. It’s time for that dude to butch it up just a little. : – )

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I watched a rerun of “JFK” on PBS last night – the man had so many medical problems it’s a miracle he was still alive when he ran for President. He seemed to cope with it. And I don’t think twisting an ankle disqualifies anyone for the Presidency. These people are so desperate that they will be claiming Hillary is an alien next.

  • Napoleon Trombonopart

    In the seizure video from June , a frame has been frozen that shows her eyes going in two directions at once , the woman had something going on that she was trying to play off as a brain freeze . Every person I ever saw with a brain freeze bent forward and stopped movement .
    One eye was looking at her nose and the other straight ahead, no i doubt if she was faking.

    • Maybe

      Hey, your forgot to start with “I’m not a doctor, but…”

      • Daniel Burke

        I don’t need to be a doctor to diagnose a heart attack, seizure, or other obvious ailment. Leftie.

        • Maybe

          Yes, you do. You also need to examine the patient in person and run some tests. Even doctors don’t get it right all the time.

          My diagnosis of you is that you have delusions of adequacy.

          And by “Leftie” do you mean someone who lives in the reality of facts as opposed to your realm of gossip, speculation and conspiracy theories?

          Another bad diagnosis by you, BTW. I am liberal on some issues, conservative on others, and in the middle somewhere on many. You are making the mistake of “thinking” with labels instead of seeing what’s actually there.

        • wzrd1

          Ah, thanks for proving that you’re a foreign agitator!
          You see, in the United States of America, all 50 states require one to be a licensed physician to diagnose anything and each state also requires for the physician to actually physically examine a patient before making any diagnosis.

          Amazing what these foreign paid trolls give away!

  • greyXstar

    None of this world have to be thrown out there if Hillary would be more ethical in her games journalism!

    • Maybe

      I think the problem is that Trump lives in an imaginary video world, while Clinton dwells in reality.

    • disqus_4o1eoHiAiW

      Uh… what?

  • sweet freedom

    Considering that after 12 hours of grilling by asshat republicans, Clinton looked fresh as a daisy, while Trey Gowdy looked like he was in the latter stages of salmonella, perhaps the GOP should worry about the health of their own.

  • cutter

    What is suffering from. We how about trump’s comment telling that those in who believe in the 2 admen. should take weapons to defend against Hilliary. A veil comment to assinate her.

    • Rhiannon1223

      Trump was referring to the supporters of the Second Amendment getting out to vote and encouraging others to do the same. I had to listen to this three times, before I could determine the etiology of the Moronic Sycophantic Nothing But Clinton spin. However, here’s a statement you won’t need to spin, as it was hauntingly straight forward. As the 2008 Presidential Primary was winding down, Hillary was trailing irretrievably behind Obama, so she was asked why she had not yet withdrawn her bid for candidacy. Her reply was: Well, you never know what will happen.” “Bobby Kennedy was assassinated when he was in the lead during the 1968 Democratic primary.” Then there was Joe Biden’s remark during his bid for the 2008 nomination. He alerted all Democratic Second Amendment supporters to his belief that Obama wanted to confiscate their guns, while he strongly supported the Second Amendment, which was fine, …… until he mentioned his beretta and how Obama could try to pry it from his cold dead hands, which he would probably never have the chance to do, because, as Biden said “there would be a problem” since he was an excellent marksman with his beretta. Now, I can’t make this shit up, so google it a swallow your words.

  • Ami

    Demented Donald is a narcissistic lying racist misogynistic loud mouthed bully with Alzheimer’s.

    • Rhiannon1223

      Where’s your scientific proof that Trump has Alzheimer’s Disease? Aren’t you and you’re ilk demanding scientific proof that Hillary has a debilitating illness? Since you are, you should do the same before offering your medically illiterate opinion.
      As for Hillary having to be helped up the stairs. I would qualify as “an old” in your opinion, and like many others of Hillary’s generation, including Trump who is older, I live an extremely active lifestyle and definitely do no need anyone to help me up the stairs. In fact, I teach step classes at 32 BPMs. Hell! My 86 year old father doesn’t need anyone to help him up the stairs, either. There are a couple of things, though, that we do not have in common with Hillary. We’re not a couple of fat asses who spent most of our adult lives getting high on illegal drugs and alcohol. A person such as that often presents as “an old” by the time they reach 50, which both she and her insatiably randy partner in crime, “Slick Willy,” began to do.
      Finally, if Trump was running around bobbling his head, randomly answering serious questions with “You should try the iced chai!” and having fish mouth moments, from time to time, you dumb asses would either already have him in his grave or be passing around the conspiracy theory that Putin placed a bug in his skull.

    • Cloud Strife

      Hyperbole.

  • Chris Watson

    One thing Hillary and Donald have in common is with hair. It would take a blow torch to actually dry it. On a serious level, Donald would be more fitting. If Hillary isn’t capable of holding her duties as a future president if elected because of current and past medical problems, we surely don’t need her vice president picking up the pieces for her. What is going to change is the thing if America votes in another Democrat for 4 years. It’s time for change and Donald Trump is that person.

    • Damian L

      Heeeheee……..but seriously…………………….

    • Brendan_M

      This country has been around too long. It’s time for change and Donald Trump is that person.

      • Maybe

        Be careful what you wish for. And listen to Aesop.

        “The Frogs were living as happy as could be in a marshy swamp
        that just suited them; they went splashing about caring for nobody
        and nobody troubling with them. But some of them thought that
        this was not right, that they should have a king and a proper
        constitution, so they determined to send up a petition to Jove to
        give them what they wanted. “Mighty Jove,” they cried, “send unto
        us a king that will rule over us and keep us in order.” Jove
        laughed at their croaking, and threw down into the swamp a huge
        Log, which came down to splash into the swamp. The Frogs
        were frightened out of their lives by the commotion made in their
        midst, and all rushed to the bank to look at the horrible monster;
        but after a time, seeing that it did not move, one or two of the
        boldest of them ventured out towards the Log, and even dared to
        touch it; still it did not move. Then the greatest hero of the
        Frogs jumped upon the Log and commenced dancing up and down upon it, thereupon all the Frogs came and did the same; and for some time the Frogs went about their business every day without taking the slightest notice of their new King Log lying in their midst.
        But this did not suit them, so they sent another petition to Jove,
        and said to him, “We want a real king; one that will really rule
        over us.” Now this made Jove angry, so he sent among them a big
        Stork that soon set to work gobbling them all up. Then the Frogs
        repented when too late.”

        You sound like a frog.

        • Brendan_M

          That passage was ribbiting! And say what you will about King Stork, but at least he says it like is and isn’t afraid of being politically incorrect.

          • Maybe

            Trump doesn’t say it like it is. He doesn’t even know what is is from one day to the next.

            Also, I think that destroying a civilian population goes a bit beyond “politically incorrect.”

          • Brendan_M

            Okay, sure, Trump espouses a few Nazi-ish policies and makes racist pronouncements about millions of people and calls for unConstitutional and unconscionable discrimination against religious minorities and calls for his political opponents to be jailed/killed and [insert a list of about 300 disqualifying, batshit comments], but…you know…Make America Great Again? Don’t you libtards understand SARCASM?!?!

          • Maybe

            This libtard is just totally ashamed ofbeing mean to the privileged white male billionaire just ’cause he’s a bigot and a fool. What was I thinking?

      • I have one.

        No, a CheetoNazi fucktard most assuredly is NOT that person. Not now, not ever.

        • Brendan_M

          If one is a nihilistic idiot, like the above Chris Watson, and wants to see the country burn just to spite women and minorities, Donald J. Trump is most assuredly that person.

        • Daniel Burke

          That’s right – call anyone who disagrees with you a Nazi. Get out of here.

          • wzrd1

            True, Trump’s a Nazi wannabe, only coming knee high to his fellow fascist, Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini.

          • I have one.

            Read Mein Kampf and Inside the Third Reich. If the jackboots fit…

  • Bill Slider

    I am not a doctor, but that photo indicates to me that she is experiencing rapid withdrawal syndrome from lesbianitus scissoropia, which manifests itself in a variety of symptoms among the general population. It is not a disease, so there is no cure. It’s best described as shit happens, even among the best of us. Move along.

  • BWilliamson

    So a brain damaged Clinton was able to duel with and frustrate a committee full of healthy republican inquisitors. Sounds about right.

  • Maybe

    The ability to soldier on through the rigors of a Presidential campaign is in and of itself pretty good proof of health.

    I will even concede that it appears Trump is healthy. Physically.

  • amr71

    The two videos posted here show something’s wrong with her. The “chai” seizure, and her freeze on the podium when the protestors start chanting. Forget the fact that you don’t like the people making the claims. If she has a neurological deficit of some sort stemming from her fall and blood clot in 2012, that’s something voters need to know about.

    I’ve seen some allegedly leaked documents floating around that claim to be notes from her doctor, diagnosing her condition. If they’re true, they’re fairly revealing about what’s going on. Google it and make up your own mind.

    • I have one.

      ^^^ Ah, you saw it on the internet, therefore it might be true.

      And there, folks, is the driving ethos behind every dogfucking Trumptard, flat earther, moon landing denier, and Area 51 ‘the truth is out there’ douchenozzle out there.

      • Cloud Strife

        But if you see something on the internet that supports your bias do you not cling to it also?

    • Gentle Robot

      If you are seeing documents floating around, perhaps it’s you that needs a mental health checkup

      • cleos_mom

        Now, now. You haven’t been inside his bathroom.

        • wzrd1

          You don’t want to be inside of my bathroom when I’m done in there, there’s a reason that we’re called old farts. ;)

          But seriously, “I found these papers on the internet”, Christ, I’ve got a bridge for sale. It goes to and from Brooklyn, you can make tons of money off of it, skippy!

    • disqus_4o1eoHiAiW

      You are aware that absolutely anyone can type up a document, take some pictures of it with their cell phone, and upload them to the internet, right?

      If Hillary Clinton really does have Parkinson’s disease, while at the same time running a massive underground army of hit men, coming up with with the whole “fake Donald Trump campaign” thing to guarantee she wins the general election, AND helping Barack Obama found ISIS, then all I can say is that she must be some kind of f*cking super villain or something, ’cause that’s just really G*d-damned impressive. I wish I had that kind of stamina! And I don’t even have a fatal neurodegenerative disease for an excuse!

      I would also point out that, even if Hillary does have some sort of neurological problem, she would not be the first president to suffer from such a thing. Remember FDR (he was one of the greatest US presidents of the 20th century, in case you’ve never heard of him)? That dude was all f*cked up on Polio (a nasty, often fatal neurodegenerative disease for which there was no cure at that time) throughout his 3 terms as president. By the end of it, he couldn’t even walk. Of course, he also just about single-handedly saved this country from the Great Depression and guided us to victory in the 2nd World War. Seems like the Polio didn’t slow him down too much. So maybe Hillary can handle a few head jerks.

      • ebonystone

        “Head jerks.” Bill loves those.

  • Cloud Strife

    I believe there is something wrong, she is not looking well, the stress of what she has been enduring aside, which can only make a bad situation worse.

    • cleos_mom

      But would you “bet your left testicle on it”?

      • Cloud Strife

        yes

  • Gentle Robot

    Wow the “too many questions at once” video makes her look more human than I thought she was. The focus is so much on Avoiding Doomsday that we never get to see shitty-movie-marathon Hillary

  • therealsuzn

    As always….this bag of hooey comes directly from pinheads with no use for facts or science.

  • ThomasThePaine

    Looks like Legion is looking for a new host. . .

  • disqus_4o1eoHiAiW

    OK, so Hillary has brain damage or Parkinson’s disease or some shit. But what’s Donald Trump’s excuse? Tourrette’s maybe? Would explain a lot…

    • Daniel Burke

      He’s sane and runs successful businesses. But don’t let that get in the way of your lack of brains.

      • wzrd1

        Ah, he’s sane and runs successful businesses. That explains why he’s worth far less than he inherited from dad and all of those bankruptcies that screwed his investors.
        Vote for Ponzi!
        Not.

    • ebonystone

      Yeah, there’ all those pictures of Trump having coughing fits, falling down, being helped up stairs, being carried into vans. NOT!

  • Tennie

    Title mislead me – got excited for a moment

  • cleos_mom

    I don’t even want to know how Mister Alex got a close-up view of Hillary’s tongue.

  • pcj70

    Hillary has looked tired for along time, sick or not let’s “let” her go to pasture.

  • Tad Gnarley

    Why is it when Evan plays with Lula he’s always lathered up with peanut butter?

  • Jim Christian

    She’s just an old drunk. Stoli is Hillary’s drink. Because she drinks
    during the day, she needs help getting up the steps. Because her bladder
    is ruined because of too much vodka, she wears diapers. Because they
    fill up, she has to leave the podium suddenly. Because of the diapers,
    she wears attire from the Baggy Chairman Mao collection. The mini
    strokes, the falls, the bags under the eyes and the broken blood vessels
    in her nose from her alcohol consumption, don’t worry about those. Nor
    should you worry about the stutters and calling Russia “Soviets”, nor
    calling her husband Trump.

    Nothing wrong with her at all if you ignore all that. Silly of anyone to notice any of it.

  • Jim Christian

    From Goad at Taki’s:
    WHY SHOULDN’T WE BE CONCERNED THAT A 2011 CONCUSSION LEFT HER WITH A BLOOD CLOT ON HER BRAIN?

    And it wasn’t her first blood clot, either—she had deep vein thrombosis
    in her leg in 1998. But after she fainted and fell in 2012, her
    philandering hubby Bill
    says his one-time sex partner suffered “a terrible concussion that
    required six months of very serious work to get over.” Hillary was
    diagnosed with cerebral venous sinus thrombosis—a blood clot in a vein
    between her skull and brain. She took blood thinners to dissolve the
    clot and still apparently takes them.

    Although her campaign is now trying to dismiss the brain clot as no big whoop, back in 2012 ABC News said it was potentially life threatening. It quoted a physician who specialized in head injuries:

    Imagine this vein, where all the cerebral spinal fluid
    inside the head and spine no longer flows through this area. You get a
    big back up and that itself could cause a stroke. In the long-term…the
    venous system can’t get the blood out of the brain. It’s like a Lincoln
    Tunnel back up.

    Please
    share this article by using the link below. When you cut and paste an
    article, Taki’s Magazine misses out on traffic, and our writers don’t
    get paid for their work. Email editors@takimag.com to buy additional
    rights. http://takimag.com/article/is_hillary_clinton_a_brain_damaged_invalid_jim_goad/print#ixzz4I3nt4lru

    • wzrd1

      Someone better find a better physician, as CSF isn’t drained by veins magically connecting to ventricles.

  • marbiol

    Ms Clinton has a demonstrable history of mental health issues which should give all of us pause.—esp since the observations come from her “friends”!
    ·
    She has had problems with memory loss going back to the 1990s.

    She has anger management issues that are well documented [and bubba isnt even being called as a witness!].
    ·
    She has suffered from depression in the past; we have no knowledge of whether she is being treated for depression or how she had been treated in the past.

    Do we REALLY want a presidential candidate with memory and mental health issues?

    Lest I be accused of picking on a girl, as kirissie mathews is wont to say….

    Going back to the 1990s Clinton both UNDER OATH and IN PUBLIC had trouble recalling events in her life; then, in 2012 she suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury [and a blood clot]. Even mild TBI’s can have long-term affects: “the
    individual [may have] cognitive problems such as headache, difficulty
    thinking, memory problems, attention deficits, mood swings and
    frustration. These injuries are commonly
    overlooked.”http://www.traumaticbraininjury.com/understanding-tbi/what-are-the-effects-of-tbi/

    As U.S. ambassador to Libya Chris Stevens and three other personnel lay dead and America’s diplomatic outpost there lay in smoldering ruins, Clinton asked her three closest aides for advice about how to announce the death of ‘Chris Smith.’ That name – the wrong one – was the subject line of the email Clinton sent them as night turned to day in Libya and the full extent of the Islamist terror attack was becoming apparent. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3093520/As-Benghazi-aftermath-smoldered-Hillary-Clinton-couldn-t-remember-dead-ambassador-Libya.html#ixzz3nwkajvSo

    · Carl Bernstein in A Woman in Charge “recites PUBLISHED accounts of Mrs.
    Clintons temper, her tendency to label people as friends or enemies and, in the
    latter case, to bear lifelong grudges. Since her election as senator, Hillary
    has formed what is called her “war room” from which emerge strategies to deal
    harshly and mercilessly with her critics and opponents. Some insiders say
    Richard Nixons “enemies list” would be a fair comparison.”

    In “Her Way” [the book title “In Her Way” was about obama], [Jeff Gerth and Don Van Natta, Jr., both Pulitzer Prize winning investigative journalists for the New York Times] “ the authors say she is also “the single most divisive individual in our political landscape.” Gerth and Van Natta also bring up Hillarys “war room” from which she and her staff plan savage attacks against her foes.” [http://www.bloggernews.net/110001

    “Mehlman had the right answer at the ready. He called the junior senator from New
    York “angry” saying, “I don’t think the American people, if you look historically, elect angry candidates.”[ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/anger-management/%5D

    “Hillary Clinton’s [anger] “had much more sustained velocity, for a longer period of time,” according to former White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta. “She just let everybody have it,” Panetta recalled of one incident. In another incident, he recalled an aide telling him: “The First Lady just tore everybody a new asshole.” [http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/hillary-clintons-strengths-and-anger-white-house-revealed]

    bernstein wrote that ms clinton has suffered from BOUTS [plural] of depression [which runs in her family by the way!!!-http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/15/books/chapters/0715-1st-bernstein.html?pagewanted=all[–including a fairly severe round shortly after her husband was elected—Bernstein also details how she showed
    “persistent signs of melancholy” when she was a student and
    quotes a White House adviser saying she was “deeply depressed”
    in 1994, a year after her husband, Bill, became president” [.http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1553416/Hillary-was-hit-by-depression-while-first-lady.html

    “When emotional depression struck, and she considered leaving Wellesley in her
    freshman year, ” [from: http://www.carlbernstein.com/awic_excerpt.php
    ] ” “She was depressed,” David Gergen, a former adviser to Bill Clinton, told
    Watergate reporter Carl Bernstein for his book, “A Woman in Charge. Deeply
    depressed. I just felt she went into a downward spiral.”
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/hil-depression-battle-article-1.252218

    DO WE REALLY NEED THIS IN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES…MUCH LESS AS THE CANDIDATE OF OUR
    PARTY??

    • Cloud Strife

      She’s more of a necocon than Jeb Bush. If it wasn’t for the (D) by her name..

  • Odd Jørgensen

    Where did all the wingnuts come from on this post? Gee Louie.

    • Cloud Strife

      They have always been here. But if someone sincerely believes that Hillary Clinton is probably not well and this should be a legitimate concern is hardly wingnut. Especially since we got the lackluster Neoliberal Tim Kaine to rely on if she were to expire early in her presidency.

    • Daniel Burke

      You can deny it all you like – the only nuts here are the left wing nuts. She is very ill.

      • Odd Jørgensen

        Yes, probably dying from stairs and emails again. She always dies from those. And ebola, probably amplified from some new strain of pox and aids. This is bad. Almost as bad as your lack of reasoning and critical thinking skills. And now she has to have you assassinated since you exposed her frail state.

  • Matibob

    So is she dying now? The abandon shoe at World Trade memorial was rather rich and actually made my day! It is now my cover photo on Facebook. Thanks Hilly!!

  • Bob Roberts

    Is Wonkette run by sluts?

  • Bob Roberts

    Is Anna Marie Cocks still at Wonkette?

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