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Steve Salyers, devout Christian and owner of Arkansas flea market Spa City Treasures, had his faith assaulted this past Saturday when a lesbian couple entered his store and — brace yourselves — held hands there. Right inside the store, just like common harlots. Naturally, Salyers spoke up and asked the couple, Ashley Looper and Jessica Perkins, to stop it immediately, for the children. While the couple say they were not getting “handsy” and were literally just walking around, holding hands and looking at dismbodied doll heads or whatever (watch the video here, there are totally creepy disembodied doll heads, ok?), they were apparently unaware that hand-holding is basically third-base in whatever sect Salyers belongs to, or at least a practice best reserved for strip clubs.


“I’m a family person so I want this to be a family store,” Salyers said. “It’s like I wouldn’t want to take my kids to a strip club or something.”

Salyers said he approached the couple after they shopped for about an hour.

“They were loving on each other a lot and holding hands and they pretty much did it the whole way through the store,” he said. “I just felt like they were just doing something that was inappropriate to have kids around. That’s all. It would have been the same whether it had been regular people or not. I was as polite as I could and said, ‘Please don’t do it while you’re in the store.’ Didn’t ask them to leave. Didn’t escort them outside.”

Yes. Just so you know, lesbians, Salyers is traumatized by “regular people” hand-holding as well. It’s not just you. It’s all of the sinful hand-holding, across the board. Do that in your own homes, people, because wholesome Christian flea market owners just will not stand for it!

For their part, Looper and Salyers insist they were not doing anything wrong, and that there is “nothing wrong” with hand-holding:

“Holding someone’s hand, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that,” Looper said. “We’re your average couple. We want to be treated that way. I’m not ashamed, she’s not ashamed.”

“Our families aren’t ashamed,” Perkins added. “We’re not doing this for attention. We’re just trying to let the LGBT community know that if you go in this place, you are going to be discriminated. You can’t be who you are. I thought people were changing and more accepting. It hurt more than anything, like he tried to shame us.”

Following the incident, Looper and Perkins totally overreacted and told all their LGBT friends about Salyers’s anti-lesbian hand-holding policy, and they summarily flooded the store’s Facebook page with all kinds of comments about how maybe Salyers is a raging homophobe/asshole. How is that even fair? He was just trying to protect the children! Children who may not have ever seen anyone holding hands before!

Salyers says he is anti-PDA for EVERYONE, not just the gays. Which is fair! So am I! I actually hate hand-holding because I need my hands free for talking! But as much as I may roll my eyes at same-side-of-the-booth-sitters, I do not actually walk up to them and tell them to stop. You know, because it actually isn’t any of my business. Perhaps Salyers, too — now that his Facebook page is flooded with comments about what a jerk he is — will learn that some battles are not worth fighting, what with them being none of his business and all.

[Towleroad | KARK-TV]

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  • BadKitty904

    Slack-jawed Yokel Gets Bent Out of Shape Over Some Damned Thing – Film at 11…

    • bobbert

      But you repeat yourself. ;>)

  • Logic of Color

    I’m on the shop owner’s side here. I mean, half the fun of being a parent is hiding the world from your kids so you can shout “SURPRISE” when they move out. Spoiler, right?

    • Rick Hill

      All those special snowflakes…so sweet to see them after their first college mixer, passed out with cute little sharpie pictures all over their faces….

      • frrolfe

        College???!!!! Damn you to heck

      • HogeyeGrex

        …assorted sex toys tucked in their pockets…

    • VforV, I’m with Her!

      You’re supposed to teach them that sex is nasty and horrible and disgusting and something you should only share with your true life mate.

      Or something like that.

    • SessileRaptor

      I’m reading the book “The girls who went away” about women who became pregnant in the 50s and 60s and were forced to give their children up for adoption by their parents and social pressure. It’s absurd how many parents told their daughters absolutely nothing about sex and procreation and then were completely shocked when said daughter came home with a bun in the oven and zero idea about any of the mechanics of how it got in there and how it was coming out.

      • Shan the Libtart

        I worked with a woman like that, many years ago. She thought you could not actually GET pregnant unless you were married and had a ring on your finger. She had her first kid at 16.

        • SessileRaptor

          Oh yeah, there are girls in the book with that exact same story, alongside ones who literally didn’t know where the baby was going to come out of their body.

          • Shan the Libtart

            That’s insane. My mom gave me my own copy of “Our Bodies, Our Selves” when I was 7 or 8. NO SURPRISES.

          • Amy!

            Published 1971. It was needed. And controversial.

          • Lee Hillhouse

            One of my faves….

  • bozilingus
    • Parchment Scroll

      *slow clap*

      That is… that is some hateful fuckin’ shit right there.

  • arglebargle

    Yes indeed, let’s think of the children. And get his kids the fuck out of the cult mentality if at all possible.

  • Crystalclear12

    But political correctness has run amok. Riiiiggghhhttttt.

    • SessileRaptor

      You just know that he’s mocked and dismissed the idea of “safe spaces” as wimpy liberal BS.

  • freakishlystrong

    That was probably the most sex he’s ever had in his miserable life.

    • VforV, I’m with Her!

      That he could admit to.

    • MamaBrown

      hahaha, this was probably the “hot girl on girl action” he’d heard tell of. you know, from his pastor. He got that tingly feeling in his desiccated man bits and was all discombobulated!

  • BadKitty904

    He wasn’t armed?

  • Brian

    And Abraham asked the angel, “What if there be two lesbians in the Hobby Lobby who shall be holding hands, shall thou still destroy the Hobby Lobby?” And he responded, “Holding hands? Are you a fucking moron? No, I will not destroy the Hobby Lobby for people holding fucking hands, asshole.”

  • Painter of Goats

    Pretty sure this fella has sex through a hole in the sheet.

    In the dark.

    • crunchyknee

      With his hand!

      • sw19womble

        And then curls into a ball and cries himself to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs afterwards.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Have you been spying on me?

    • Longstreet63

      With himself.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      If this guy had sex through a hole, it sure wasn’t in a sheet.

  • WeaselPoo

    Worst Penthouse Forum letter ever!

  • BadKitty904

    I’d think a booth-owner in a flea-market in Bugtussle, Arkansas would be happy to have ANY customers that walk on two legs…

  • Ghenghis McCann

    As the actress Mrs Patrick Campbell once said; “Does it really matter what these affectionate people do — so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!”

    • Or in the hometown of Mr Salyers – horse.

      • Paganish

        Perhaps you meant hometown of “Mr. Salyers, Horse’s Ass”

    • frrolfe

      Over the years, I’ve seen that quote attrib to Queen Vic. Your attrib makes more sense.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        For many years, I thought it was Victoria myself. Thank Dog I found out before I posted something stupid, Oh, wait…..

  • Bren

    Now don’t be frightened Steven, show me on the doll where the bad lezbeans touched you.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Can’t. Those dolls don’t have bodies.

  • Parchment Scroll

    Personally, I’m extremely worried about everyone in the area. Those women were holding hands. They might even have smiled at each other. Good Lord, what if they giggled?!?!

    Fucking tool.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Hand-holding is a slippery slope to fingerlingus.

    • frrolfe

      Side hugs also too!

  • limberrat

    So a loving couple holding hands is being compared to a fucking strip club???

    • Parchment Scroll

      No, to a non-fucking one.

      • Arolpin

        There is no sex in the champagne room!

        • Parchment Scroll

          No matter what the hand-holding stripper tells you.

    • Longstreet63

      It’s probably the only place he’s seen two women hold hands before.

    • Invidosa

      In all seriousness for a moment, Libby Anne over at Love, Joy, Feminism wrote a post that addresses exactly that sort of thing, and it’s well worth reading:

      • limberrat

        TBH, I grew up in an Evangelical Church where it was stressed that marital relations were the only appropriate relations. The philosophy and its lack of explaining besides fake statistics about contraceptives and shaming it did a lot to screw people up.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Hmm… Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that this guy, in fact, does not walk up to hetero couples holding hands and ask them to knock it off?

    • Parchment Scroll

      You know, I think you may be on to something here.

    • Longstreet63

      To be fair, it is a possibility that he is indeed a multi spectrum dickwad and would indeed go all Puritan on a straight couple. Possibly even if the male was bigger than him. Self righteousness is a powerful and addictive drug.

  • limberrat

    It’ll be interesting, based off the news report, whether the owner will tell a straight couple to stop holding hands.

    • Señor Frau Skwerl King

      They are not offending Jeasus.

  • Shan the Libtart

    Wha….My sister and I hold hands when we go out sometimes, or put our arms around each other. How sad this man’s life must be that he can’t even abide a small amount of affection.

    • HazooToo

      Well, stop it! You’ll scare the children! You know, the ones who still have to hold their parents hands as they cross the street! Wait…

      • Shan the Libtart

        Sister lives in a different state maybe I’ll go around holding my daughter’s hand instead. That’ll totally make the heads all ‘splodey because she is a actual ghey herownself. HAHAHAHA!

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      I’m always hugging on my mother and grabbing her hand when we’re in public.

    • limberrat

      Well you are clearly doing something bad in the eyes of God! I don’t know where in the bible it says “though shall not hold hands” but it clearly is in there!!!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “Two Corinthians”

    • grindstone

      Once upon a time I was married to a fundamentalist. Emphasis on *was*. We were engaged to be married, we were at his grandfather’s house, inside, sitting on the couch. We were holding hands. When I got up to go to bed (separate bedrooms), I gave my fiance a smooch and walked out. We got lectured the next morning for inappropriate behavior — apparently I gave his granddad a sleepless night over my wanton actions.

      Yes, there are people who think like this and yes, I believe this flea market guy would be just as unhappy with heteros holding hands, although I doubt he’d speak to them. And yes, these people are fucking batshit, unhappily crazy.

      • Shan the Libtart

        Once again, SO glad I was raised by atheists.

        • Lee Hillhouse

          Me too!!

      • Lee Hillhouse

        Not just as upset…….

    • Celtic_Gnome

      On the day of the Gay Pride Parade, a woman was asked to leave a local mall by security because she was holding hands with her sister. Certain assumptions, evidently, were made.

  • ManchuCandidate

    “It’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve! Uh, wait… what names rhymes with Eve?”
    -Steve Salyers

    • Aquaria

      My mother had a friend named Geneve. Like the city in Switzerland, but without the last syllable.

  • Belasaurius

    Sexy lesbian terrorism, oh yea

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    This is why Republicans admire Trump. No matter how petty and incidental the perceived slight, they just can’t. fucking. let. it. go.

  • Pickwicknext

    I agree with Robin- i need both hands free for emphatic gesticulation and double bird flipping

    • PubOption

      Pennacchia does sound Italian, so would be expected.

    • Aquaria

      I flipped a guy off today when I was leaving the grocery store. There’s a sign right out front for people to slow down and wait for pedestrians in the crosswalk. I wasn’t crossing wherever I felt like it, but in the dang crosswalk. I’m on one of those ridiculous scooters because I’m having some serious post-surgery complications that has made my disability flare up. Normally, I can cross streets and the rest, but this was one of the bad days when I couldn’t.

      Anyway, it was like nobody saw the sign saying to stop for people in the crosswalk, and car after car kept flying by. I tried easing out when there was a gap, but not one but two assholes nearly ran me over. I honked the scooter and gave one of them the bird long and hard. One guy who stopped for me leaned out of his car window and said to me, “That’s exactly what we need more of for jerks like that! Jeez Louise, people, let her cross!” My husband finally had to get in the middle of the crosswalk and stand out there glaring at people about to drive through the crosswalk with me right there, to get them to knock it off with nearly running me over.

      You know, I’m usually in a hurry quite a bit, and I have next to no patience, but I fricking stop for people in the crosswalk. Who’s in that much of a hurry that they can’t let a disabled person get across a parking lot without getting shellacked?

  • limberrat

    This scene must have really upset Steve Salyers:

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Lesbian relationships don’t belong out in public! They belong on them nekkid sites. ‘Least, that’s what mah pastor says.

  • crunchyknee

    Won’t someone think of the regular children!!

  • beatbort

    This is coming from a man who probably sells used underwear.

    • Relativicus

      “Used mattresses, 50% off!”

      • Beowoof14

        A free bottle of stain remover with every purchase.

      • Shan the Libtart

        I guess that’s ONE way to get rid of bed bugs.

        • natoslug

          And abusive husbands. THANKS, FARRAH!

    • His own used underwear

    • Ima Witstüp

      And almost certainly non Leviticus-compliant fabrics.

  • Señor Frau Skwerl King

    So what happens if I walk in holding my dick? With votes of course.

    • sw19womble

      Why would you want to hold a Republican?

      • Invidosa

        Congratulations!! You are officially my favorite person of the day!

      • Vecchiojohn

        Trump holds them by the ears

  • MamaBrown

    but are side hugs allowed? asking for a friend.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Can you squeeze your daughter’s ass in the Holy Flea Market? Asking for a Presidential candidate.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    I was as polite as I could and said, ‘Please don’t do it while you’re in the store’

    Um, since when does being polite make up for the fact that you’re doing something dickish?

    • Parchment Scroll

      Also, can we just talk about that phrasing?

      “Please don’t do it while you’re in the store.”


      I actually think that he is remembering word-for-word what he said, and that he begged the scary lesbians not to just immediately start fucking in the store.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    There was a guy at the market the other day wearing stripes and plaid!11!! Can you imagine? I was so outraged I complained to the store manager and promised never to shop there again.

    • JesusWasAHippie

      For the children.

  • AngryBlakGuy


    First they are walking harmlessly through their local flea market holding hands and then BAM!!! you turn your head for a second and they are scissor fucking on top of the nearest knick-knack table!!!

    • Vecchiojohn

      If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times.

      • Belasaurius

        in slow motion

      • natoslug

        Usually there’s a pizza delivery guy or a hot plumber, though. All Steve got to see were cootie-monsters.

      • bobbert

        This is an excellently worded premise.

    • Paganish

      Exactly where is this flea-market located? Asking for a friend

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It happens more often than you might think. There I am with a guy in sad dusty indoor flea market look at disembodied doll heads and before I even know what’s happening we are doing gay butt sechs on each other. Weird!

      • I thought that was rest stops along the highway…

        • Bear OmNomNom

          Gives a whole new meaning to “Eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin’…”

      • (((JustPixelz)))

        That was you?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …am I gonna have to spray you guys with the water hose again to get you to quit your shenanigans!!!

      • Aquaria

        I had a Catholic friend who got turned on during that time that people are praying and whatever else it is Catholics do when they’re hanging out at their worship centers between services. So she and her beau slipped into a confessional when everyone was too busy with whatever they were doing, and did the nasty.

        She swears it was the best sex they ever had.

        Every Catholic I’ve ever known was freaky about sex.

    • limberrat

      You called for the Homosexual Agenda?

    • Aquaria

      Dude, if you knew some of the things I saw when I worked retail…

      I was the only one working at my Bed & Bath store one morning in LA. We had mockups of beds to showcase various linens we carried. I was concentrated on the front door, because that’s where nearly all our customers came in, but I was doing some bookkeeping at the main desk. I didn’t realize a couple had come in while I was in the back for all of two seconds to verify that we’d gotten a certain product in and shelved. When I step out, I started hearing these moans, but the radio was on KIIS FM so I thought it was Rick Dees being a jerk, same as always. But then I heard it on another song.

      Turned around, and this guy and chick were rolling off one of MY beds and pulling up their pants.

      They had to buy that damned comforter, and all the pillows, too, after I called the cops on them. I certainly couldn’t sell the stuff after what they’d done to it, not even on clearance.

      • handyhippie65

        oh, there’s a market for things like that. you would be surprised.

  • msanthropesmr

    Why yes, I don’t want any business. Why do you ask?

  • thirdeblue


    • Longstreet63

      Don’t worry, I called them. They said it’s going around and not to worry.
      Unfortunately this is a red state, so they refuse to actually do anything for you until Obamacare is repealed.

  • TJ Barke

    Holy shit. If it’s that easy to threaten your faith, you really need to sort out your life.

  • Wonder what he would do if asked to do the “Kiss of Peace,” or the “Kiss of Charity.” Between men it is called the “Kiss of Brotherhood”

  • fawkedifiknow

    What kind of self-respecting lesbian couple would even go into a kitsch dump like that anyway?

    • PubOption

      That’s why he calls it a flea market. If he went upmarket and called it an antique store, he would have many more ‘sinners’ visiting.

  • Cranky Man

    He, Steve, is reasonable, regular guy. He compromised, you’ll notice no one got stoned or burned at the stake.

    • Longstreet63

      Oh, he’s one of those Liberal Christians…

      • Biff52

        In Kansas?

    • Christian in name only then.

      • sw19womble

        One of them bleedin’ heart Jesus freaks.

  • Invidosa

    Ooooh! No wonder he was upset!! These ladies are in his store, holding hands, and then maybe rubbing their dirty-lesbian-hand-holding hands all over his dill heads!! Doll heads that normal children might touch!!! *Squeals in terror*

    • Dill heads???? Dildo heads that are dolls?

      Or does he sell herbs from the celery family?

  • Beowoof14

    Oh man he was probably terrified the almighty would be striking his store with some lightening bolts or some other silly shit.

  • Queen of the Fairies

    Personally, if I went into a strip club and it was a bunch of lesbians sitting around holding hands, I’d want my money back.

    • sw19womble

      Welp, as a panromantic asexual, I would pay good money to watch that.

      • Queen of the Fairies

        Internet rule 51. No matter what it is, it is somebody’s fetish. No exceptions.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Eh. They better at least make out.

        • sw19womble

          Okay but no tongues.

          • AlasAnAss

            Not even for a little while?

    • natoslug

      Isn’t that called a knitting circle?

  • blondeiq

    What would he make of me, my husband, and my adult daughter holding hands in public, as we often do? Because we all love one another, or something perverted like that. (Or, it’s because we’re in some crush of people in a crowded place and don’t want to get separated).

  • Blank Ron

    ‘None of my business’ is not a concept the Steve Salyers’ of the world understand.

  • First hand-holding, then scissoring, then…

    I’ll be back, just have to run to my bunk

    • Dutchman

      Bunk or bunker?

    • Life is so often hard, and then it goes soft. At least I think that is life

  • therblig

    note to arkansas lesbians: carry prune juice to establish your “regular” cred

  • Michael Smith

    Great. So I guess I’ll have to reconsider my own policy of shouting defiantly at people whenever they so much as exchange affectionate glances.

    • Dutchman

      Unless you have a lawn store….then feel free to yell away.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    WWJD: Who Would Jesus Discriminate Against?

    • natoslug

      Figs. And moneylenders. And hypocrites. But mainly figs.

      • Aquaria

        And pigs. And Canaanite women, the dogs.

        • natoslug

          It sounds like while this Jesus guy had some good ideas, he was kind of a dick sometimes.

    • Bad Granny

      Everybody but the cheesemakers.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Steve I’m going to give you the same advice I give all wingnuts: go fuck yourself.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      In front of your kids.

  • jmhm

    He has children?

    Way to rub it in the rest of our faces what you’ve been getting up to in the bedroom, pervert.

    • natoslug

      His two sexual encounters were performed with the bare minimum amount of intimacy, and he made damn sure his wife did not climax like a common whore, so it’s still okay.

    • Jeff in the desert

      I am sure he thinks the lovely Duggars are all right. At the rate they reproduce, they do nothing but…….

      • jmhm

        There is video around somewhere of Jim Bob having his kids join him in a chorus of “Hey, hey, hey,” which is apparently his mating call (because of course God wants her to put out on demand). At the time when Josh was molesting his sisters, they were living in a small three bedroom house owned by their church because he spent six figures his parents gave him trying to overthrow the Hutchinson who had the mistress. So yeah, not only do they do nothing but, the kids had to listen to it.

        The whole Handmaid’s Tale Republican thing? They totally mean it.

        • The Librarian

          I’ve been saying through this whole election cycle that if the GOP wins we’ll see The Handmaid’s Tale come to real life. Scary thoughts…….

    • chimichanga

      I guarantee the percentage of folks watching lesbian porn is higher in the Bible Belt.

      • jmhm

        Well, they have to get their girl O-faces somewhere.

      • handyhippie65

        i think of it as educational programming. if you want to learn how, watch an expert do it.

  • Dutchman

    This being Arkansas I suppose this gentleman is holding out for some Duggars to show up for that Ol’ Fashioned Christian Sister Lovin’. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Aquaria

      I have a feeling that it’s not Duggar loving that he’s holding out for.

      Cousin-sister-parent love, definitely.

      Or that love involving barnyard animals.

      • Dutchman

        Won’t someone please think of the sheep?!? Or the poor stump broke cows. Ok, maybe I went too far there. Ewwww.

  • natoslug

    What’s wrong with same side of the booth sitters? Sometimes it’s nice to switch to handjobs rather than footjobs during the meal!

    • Jenny

      Mostly I don’t want to look at someone eat. The grabby pants stuff is just a bonus.

  • Jeff in the desert

    He’s an equal opportunity prude.

  • frrolfe

    Are the fleas allowed to hold hands?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Self important moral scold is upset? Good.

    Jesus made a big point about how hand holding was a mortal sin. Not.

  • Dutchman

    It’s probably just as well that I do not possess any Dog-like powers. Methinks I’d get carried away with the smiting and the raining of brimstone. The noisome atmosphere would ruin it for everyone.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      If I had god like powers I would probably sprout an extra nose on some people’s faces.
      Since, you know, they are going to be nosey.
      I’d be a total jerk as a deity ^.^

      • Angela Ruzzo

        A proper punishment would be to take their nose away completely – then they couldn’t taste their food and would walk around with their mouths open all the time, looking like people that we generally put away in institutions.

      • Dutchman

        Likewise. I’d be full on Old Testament. People would be bleeding locusts out of their whereevers.

  • The Librarian

    The only shame here is that Salyers acted like an ass.

  • Jonathan Lawson

    Every time I read something like this I think, “what’s his browser history look like?”

    • JesusWasAHippie

      I bet it’s intense.

  • FlownOver

    Imma just leave this here…

    • Biff52

      ‘kin lesbians–what’re ya gonna do?

    • bookish

      Which one is the boy?

    • JesusWasAHippie

      Oh dear Lord … Think of the children!!1

  • Mike!

    You know who else has hands!? The Devil! And he uses them for holding things!

    • Master Contrail Program

      Great minds and whatnot. Sorry, it’s too much of a struggle to battle with Disqus to make sure I’m not double-posting.

  • bookish

    Salyers was so offended, he could hardly stop watching.

    • RandomNameAllocated

      well it did take him an HOUR before he said anything. The restraint of the man (!)

      • bookish

        Slow starter…

    • Yr. Gma

      Wonder what he did after he scolded them? Maybe it happened WHILE he was scolding them. (I’m a girl, so I’m not sure how that whole thing works in boys.)

  • docterry6973

    My friend doesn’t even need to pay the strippers to hold hands. Nothing.

  • AngryKatie

    Man, he goes to the most boring strip club ever.

  • Biff52

    Christian store? Is that where you go to buy them? Do they do warranty repair work? Most of the ones around me are defective.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      So are most of the people who shop in them.

    • andyshelt

      Yeah, I had that same problem with my defective christian.

      Looks like you bought the outdated Leviticus 1500-BC model with the factory default “slavery is good, gays are bad” settings.

      Just download the latest software update and install it and you’ll be good to go!

      • Aquaria

        But then there’s all that torture for thought crimes to deal with.

        No thanks.

        We Jews figured out how to get the smiting and the rest to stop, but it only happened once we wrote everything down. That gave us a reason to start arguing with everything that was in there, and anybody with sense knows that the last thing you want to do is get a bunch of Jews arguing. Once we got started arguing with what we were reading, even Hashem couldn’t take anymore and needed a good long rest. Anytime he thinks it’s safe to come out–oops, no, it’s not. Those chosen people are still arguing!

        And it’s back to his fainting couch, which keeps him from being a jerk to everyone.

        So you have Jewish arguing to thank for no more of the smiting.

    • andyshelt

      The store has also just issued an urgent product recall notice on their defective batch of Westboro Baptist models.

      If you’ve bought one of these dangerously defective models, please return it immediately for a full refund or take them to your nearest toxic waste dump for safe disposal.

  • SeanT1001

    He probably supports a leash aw for toddlers, the sick twist…

  • Ilgattomorte

    Years ago my girlfriend and I were thrown out of an establishment for hand holding. Perhaps she shouldn’t have held my hand with her vagina.

    By a strange coincidence, it was a strip club and I think we were thrown out for the same reason you can’t take your own popcorn into a movie theater.

  • marxalot

    What do you call an it when an Italian (or Irish) woman is missing a hand?
    Speech impediment.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Gee, what does this guy do if people with visible suggestive tattoos come into his shop? Or maybe tattoos of Satan (I’ve seen quite a few of those lately). Does he ask them to cover up?

  • Ikimizi

    Weirdly enough, Public Lesbian Hand-holding is not a Pornhub category.

    • hendenburg2

      well shit, wait a day. Rule 34 and all…

    • Suttree

      There’s a cheat code that you can use that gives you the live security camera feed of every Home Depot in your state.

  • andyshelt

    And we are speaking to you live from christian radio station RWNJ-WWJD where our reporter is on the scene as we speak. What’s going on there, Herb?

    “Oh, the humanity…..Honest: I–I can hardly breathe. I–I’m going to step outside where I
    cannot see it. Charlie, that’s terrible. Ah, ah—I can’t. I, listen, folks, I–I’m gonna have to stop for a minute because I’ve lost my voice. This is the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

  • Jgb979

    In fairness: in the duggary parts of Arkansas, hand holding is the equivalent of a showboating third base.

    I for one still fail to see how chasing customers out of a store = profit?

  • Whale Chowder

    Boy, Penthouse Forum has sure gone downhill.

  • Biff52

    I got yer disembodied doll head right here:

    • jmk

      That would make a great night-light for a kid’s room…

      …because the therapists of the future will need work, too.

      • Biff52

        I had that thing for about 30 years, finally gave it to my former fiance from even before I got it. She has a granddaughter to terrorize.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Sorry if someone beat me to it:

    “I know what your sinful and blasphemous song is all about, Dewey Cox!”

    “What?!? It’s about holdin’ hands with your girl.”

    “You know who else has hands? The devil!! And he uses ’em for holdin’!!”

  • Master Contrail Program

    Sorry if someone beat me to it:

    “I know what your sinful and blasphemous song is all about, Dewey Cox!”

    “What?!? It’s about holdin’ hands with your girl.”

    “You know who else has hands? The devil!! And he uses ’em for holdin’!!!”

  • Master Contrail Program

    O/T: Is there an outside chance this site is being targeted? Granted Disqus commenting has been crap for a while now, across the internet, but it’s really bad on Wonkette.

    Let me remove my tinfoil Stetson for a moment, I would wager it has more to do with comments numbering in the hundreds or thousands here, instead of the dozens, still…….

  • Zyxomma

    This is over the top, even for homophobes. I’m not a lesbian, and I’ve held the hands of some of my girlfriends, when I was younger and more prone to displays of affection.

  • Iam Reading

    Fuck it. Give drumpf the nuke codes. Humanity deserves MAD

  • DemmeFatale


  • calliecallie

    They were shopping for an hour and didn’t buy anything? No hetero gal would be guilty of that.

    • handyhippie65

      even if all the vendor had was a lot of garage sale leftovers that should have been thrown away? i work part time at a swap meet/flea market. i see a lot of that.

    • kareemachan

      Did you see what’s in the store? Gah.

  • Fleas are irritating little blood suckers, and Mr. Salyers takes the term “flea market” too literally.

  • Will in Pgh

    When we were younger, Mom made us keep our hands in our pockets so we wouldn’t knock any thing off of the shelves. I’m sure that’s all those nice girls were doing —preventing accidents. Guy should have given them lollipops for being so well-behaved.

  • I Only Like Cats

    I hold hands with people I’m friends with? How is this an issue? It’s not even real PDA?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Sadly, I feel for Steve. To be taught that simple human kindness, that the act of holding another’s hand, is somehow sinful or shameful. To think of all the kindness and comfort he’s lost from the insane teaching he embraces.


        • Jonny On Maui

          I will not recant!

      • cat cafe

        Oh, but he’s lying about how he doesn’t approve of hand-holding. It’s just ghey hand-holding he doesn’t like. He doesn’t even notice the other kind.

      • jmk

        You are a kind man.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Thank you. Usually that’s followed by, “Kinda what? I’m not sure…” ;)

  • NoMore Moose

    First holding hands. What is next? Teenage, abstinence advocates, becoming pregnant?

    • NoMore Moose

      Please delete my comment. Never mind.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Wonkette doesn’t allow comments.

  • bubbuhh

    Holding hands with a child must be well on the way to pederasty in this store.

    • efoveks

      Well, that idiot pastor at Verity Baptist (California’s answer to Westboro) who conflates Teh Gheys with der pedophiles, sooooo, YES!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Shouldn’t Steve be happy the lesbians aren’t putting semen in his Starbucks?

  • Gleem-McShinez

    I hope no children are reading this, but I’m just going to be frank and honest about things.

    One time I saw two men shake hands, in public, and they didn’t even care who saw!
    They were smiling and one even patted the other on the shoulder afterwards!

  • Lee Hillhouse

    What is this guy’s address? I have this picture I want to send him of George Bush and some Saudi prince…..

    I am a lesbian and now married to the woman I have been with for 26 years. I am not big on holding hands. I like my hands free in case I need to hit someone.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Careful. Sending hardcore pornography through the mail is illegal.

    • Sarah E. Grove

      Send him that one, and the one of George W. actually KISSING the Saudi Prince on the mouth too.

  • therblig

    on a serious, health related note – please practice safe stripping

  • therblig

    someone should visit his store and pose all the same sex toys holding hands

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Let’s take a moment to enjoy some Scissor Sisters…..

  • whitroth

    One wonders what he would have said, say, a century and a half ago, when folks mostly walked everywhere, and holding arms of a friend, even one of the same sex, as you walked was common.

    • harryr

      And still is in Mediterranean countries.

      • jmk

        And in most south Asian countries, also too.

        • kareemachan

          And Middle Eastern countries.

  • BigBoppa

    I like to keep my hands free at all times. You never know when the band’s gonna start playing.

  • Lee Hillhouse

    – “Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.”—-Butch Hancock

    • whitroth

      Always liked Butch, since I first heard him when I was living in Austin in the late 80’s/early 90’s.

  • Roadstergal

    I hold my sister’s hand all of the time when we walk around. I’ve never been in a strip club with her, though…

  • JParkerSD46

    Is it just me or does the phrase “loving on” make you throw up in your mouth a little? It’s just me, isn’t it? Still makes me want to throw up a little.

    • Robyn Pennacchia

      IT DOES AND IT IS HORRIBLE. No one should ever say that.

      • Smibo

        That phrase always flashes me back to the time I was on a grand jury in a capitol murder case, deciding whether to hand down an indictment on a single mom’s boyfriend, who stood accused of shaking and beating the baby because it wouldn’t stop crying. The boyfriend’s sister testified that the boyfriend “was always lovin’ on her” (“her” being the deceased baby).

        I never want to be “loved on”. Or hear that phrase ever again.

        (And yes, we indicted the fucker. Don’t know what happened at trial.)

  • handyhippie65

    it seems that to christians, tolerance=persecution. it is just sad.

  • URQ196

    Those two women put the stuff that they were gonna buy back on the shelf and didn’t purchase anything. Talk about unchristian? Snark

  • Celtic_Gnome

    For my part, the less time spent around “regular” folks, the better.

  • hvdv

    “They were loving on each other a lot and holding hands and they pretty much did it the whole way through the store,” he said.

    Well. If they were doing IT, then what choice did the poor bigot have? He asked nice!

  • Ok, first of all “Spa City Treasures” totally sounds like a gay bathhouse.

  • You know, that comment about “normal people” really shores up his claim that he isn’t a bigot.

  • SeeTrain65

    “They were holding hands and obviously were very much in love. What kind of sick world is this?”

  • Mathew G. Smith

    I saw his name three times before I realized it wasn’t “Slayer”.

  • Josh Di Donato

    Just left a review on the FB page. Here it is-
    Pretty good place. One question- If I come back, and most of the time that I am shopping, I have my hand shoved down my pants, and I am moving it in an up and down motion, is that okay? I promise I will only be thinking about my wife, whom I married in a church- not a man, not the lady who lives across the street who leaves her curtains wide open and just parades around for me to see, definitely not two ladies holding hands, the most deplorably racy act imaginable. Of course, I will not “finish the job” in the store. I will be respectful and do that in the alley. Can’t wait to come back!

  • cutter

    What should these ultra fundamentalists know what happens at a strip club. The vast majority of customers are married evangelicals. The are terrible tippers except at the gay strip clubs. they like the one on one in the special room.

    • kareemachan

      Also, does he have his kids working in his store all the time? Just how old are they, and can he legally do this?

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