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Don't fuck with her.
Don’t fuck with her.

Everyone, did you see it? Did you see our next president take that stage Thursday night and show everyone watching, including Donald Trump, that she will be the 45th president of the United States? We did! According to our Twitter, we may have started crying during the introduction video:

metweet

If Twitter says it, it must be true! For real, though, history was made last night, and it will be made again in November when we elect Hillary Clinton emperor of the entire galaxy. And after this amazing 2016 Democratic National Convention, we want to give a giant shout-out to another website on the intertubes, called RealClearPolitics, because on top of being a swell site that keeps track of polls and reports on all the politicks, as Peggy Noonan would probably spell it, its folks threw the nicest, swankiest, most welcoming watch parties in all of US America.

We mentioned it earlier this week, but the site rented out Talula’s Garden, a very nice restaurant on Washington Square in Philly, and served free food (GOOD FOOD) and free booze (GOOD BOOZE) to anyone who signed up to come. Monday was pretty chill, but after that, the media started to find out, so by the end of the week, people from NBC and Huffington Post and others, including us, were coming there each night, after days of schlepping around Philly, to rest our weary bones and watch the conventions together. Remember what we said after Cleveland, about how, if you are traveling correctly, you end up finding a second home in every city you visit? Well this week, it was the RCP event, and we extend big hugs and a giant Wonkette THANK YOU to the staff of Talula’s Garden and the fine women of RCP who hosted the events. (Apparently RCP did this in Cleveland too, but we didn’t know!)

rcp

We also gotta say, Philadelphia is one of the nicest damn cities we’ve ever spent time in, and we will definitely be back to visit very, very soon. Oh, and stop complaining about how we haven’t posted Hot Cop pics like we did in Cleveland, because here’s one:

You said you wanted hot Philly cops, so here's one.

And here’s a hot bartender. Not sure if he knows we took his picture, but …

bartender

When Hillary was done vanquishing Trump with her white pantsuit, we met back up with Wonker people Maureen and Matt, until they had to toss us into an Uber because “exhausted.”

maureenevan

And so now, here we are, after one thousand eleventy days on the road, and we are going to head back toward Memphis to see our dog. According to our Rand McNally atlas, it is a fuckton of miles away, so we guess we will see you next week. Thanks, Philly, U R THE BEST.

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  • Nounverb911

    ..

  • BadKitty904

    Lula will get to see her daddy! Yes, she will!! YES, SHE WILL!!!

  • nothingisamiss

    Thanks, Evan!

  • Treg Brown

    Totally envious of the time you spent in Philadelphia this week. And you must be exhausted. Loved your coverage Evan. Enjoy the weekend!

  • JD Mulvey

    All around great four days! Great speeches, A-list celebs… Our band was SO much better than the Republicans’ band. The Republicans cannot even hide their complete suckitude at this point.

  • goonemeritus

    I have cried at one point or another during the last three DNC conventions. Ethier my advanced age is making me more emotional or they are getting better at the whole convention thing.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Good gravy, me too. This has been an insanely emotional two weeks, with horrors in one week followed by dehydrating levels of happy/sad/angry/hopeful crying the next. I can’t be sure if it’s because the stakes seem so much higher than ever before, or I’m just turning into an emotional old lady.

      • goonemeritus

        Nothing wrong in being proud of your Country. Or at least our teams vision of our Country.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    A good time was had by all, but Teh Donald!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I can live with those numbers.

  • SadDemInTex

    We thank you for your service! After the shitstorm of the RNC this must have seemed liked manna from heaven.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It sounded like you had a lot of fun but somehow managed not to get arrested. Sad!

    • Skadi

      Didn’t you know? Evan can’t get arrested anymore. *nods sagely*

  • dslindc

    Hooray for hot cops and bartenders!

    Also, very well done at both conventions, Evan! I hope the WonkeVolvo™ gets you home safely!

  • Arse Grammatica

    I voted for Bernie in the NY primary because fuck the fucking fuck headed money people. But I didn’t expect him to win and I am not sure I wanted him to.

    I hoped that at best he would push Hillary a bit to the left, keep economic inequality in the conversation and maybe have some influence on the platform.

    So that happened. I am happy. We have a great candidate. Let’s do it..

    • berkeleyfarm

      I consider primaries the place for conscience/protest votes. I have still done my thing even when it’s allllll over (I live in California and our primary is usually one of the last). But when the general election comes, it’s time to get real.

      • Oblios_Cap

        My vote is like the Kiss of Doom™ for the candidate I vote for in the primaries. Almost none of them get to the General Election.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          You didn’t vote for Bamz?

          • Oblios_Cap

            I said “almost none”.

          • berkeleyfarm

            I didn’t! This is one of the first times I remember in a while that I did. I might have voted for Bill. It’s all kind of a blur at this point.

    • Little Lulu

      That’s how I felt. A nice good push that made me much happier with the Hilz he helped bring out. She’s a much more appealing candidate now than she would have been – I feel much happier with New Hillary.

      • Shan the Libtart

        I feel a lot less ambivalent about voting for her now, too. More like I’m voting FOR her, not just AGAINST Trump.

  • Brian

    I polled the members of my imaginary Straight, White Male Caucus and I’m pleased to report our testosterone levels have been just fine all week.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I know! I remain somehow un-emasculated by all this. I even fixed my chainsaw and and have been cutting firewood, and manly stuff like that that. Strange, huh?

  • Seaside

    To paraphrase Deadpool, “The RNC was a shit-show. Like, a Yakov Smirnoff opening for the Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair shit-show.”

    • Zyxomma

      I have the DVD reserved at the library, and am looking forward to it greatly. I don’t go to movies anymore; too broke.

  • Callyson

    Thanks, Evan!

  • Blank Ron

    Your country appreciates your service. Now go the fuck home, Evan. Take the weekend off, you’ve earned it.

  • proudgrampa

    By god, Evan, you made it out of Philly alive!

    https://youtu.be/I_izvAbhExY

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Aw, what a fine time, cheers and safe journey home, Evan! Thanks for all the work

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Should “work” be in quotes? Because looks to me like it was one non-stop party after another, with brief breaks to ogle cuties in and out of uniform. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I am rethinking my life/career choices right now.

      • EvanHurst

        By god, it was both. At the same time. We are tiiiiired.

        • AntiDerpomeme

          *hugs*!Get some rest, kiddo. You deserve it.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I have already faxed my resume to Wonkette HR, but apparently they have some bullshit requirement about “knowing even the first thing about writing political commentary for a mommy blog/porn hub.” The system is rigged!

        • BloviateMe

          I’m with you. Let’s chant inane things over every post. That’s how we’ll get our way.

  • Blank Ron
  • beatbort

    Agree with Evan about Philadelphia. Hadn’t been there in years but then met some old high school buddies there last year for a long weekend and never wanted to leave. Great, great city, despite all the problems and the bad p.r.
    Too bad about the Phillies and 76ers, though.

    • wurman

      Frank Rizzo is gone and mostly dead–sort of like Scalia. Rizzo’s heart attacked him . . . successfully. Ed Rendell was in the process of defeating the bully in a mayoral election when Rizzo check out.

    • theblackdog

      And the Eagles…or at least their fans.

  • JMP

    Hey, I recognize that restaurant interior! My old firm (about a block and a half away) had an office holiday party there once (and Fox, it was definitely a holiday party not a Christmas party, half the names in the firm name ended in -stein), though it was then a fancy seafood place that later closed and became Talulah’s.

  • NerdWithNoName

    That hot Philly cop looks like he is considering where that camera/phone might fit. And not in a nice way.

  • weejee

    Safe trip home Evan. Will there be a Wonket fund to fix the bullet holes in yer car?

    • EvanHurst

      Maybe!!

  • Akat

    Nicest cities?? I guess if you don’t venture away from Old/Center/University City or the sports arenas…but Philly being a nice city has honestly never occurred to me.

    • JMP

      Well then fuck your hometown too.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Yes! Women now rule the world! Everyone bow down to me and give me stuff! Kittens! Money! A PS 4 so I can play Fallout 4!

  • TJ Barke

    That cop was totally mugging for the camera.

    • EvanHurst

      He was.

      • chicken thief

        Did you have to tell him “officer, my eyes are up here!”?

    • BadKitty904

      Yowza!

  • chicken thief

    Livingston Taylor will have to overdub his version of “6 Days on the Road” to cover your ‘one thousand eleventy days’ so you can listen to it on your way back.

  • bubbuhh
  • jowgajen

    I must share this quote with you re:The Hill Dawg.

    “This woman is not afraid of Isis, Putin, Trump, or stains.”

    Also Joyce Beatty is nifty.

    Linky:

    http://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/news/a38183/let-us-now-praise-the-immaculate-shade-of-joyce-beatty/

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Can we just hold the election now? I’m not sure I can take 3 more months of T-Rump saying stupid stuff.

  • jowgajen

    From my FB feed:

    • Msgr_Moment

      Who you gonna call?

      I ain’t scared o’ no Trump.

    • chicken thief

      I will not make a ‘do these pants make my ass look fat’ joke….
      I will not make a ‘do these pants make my ass look fat’ joke….
      I will not make a ‘do these pants make my ass look fat’ joke….

      • cleos_mom

        But those shoes do make their feet look rather… substantial.

  • berkeleyfarm

    Singing, good morning America, how are you?
    Saying, don’t you know me, I’m your native son?
    I’m the train they call “The Wonkevolvo”.
    I’ll be gone five hundred miles when the day is done.

    (With apologies to the late great Steve Goodman)

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    OT: Florida concludes Zika is being spread there by mosquitoes, a first in the continental U.S.

    • natoslug

      Given the news that comes out of Florida, will anyone notice an increase in microcephaly? And maybe now is the time for the GOP to quit being obstructionists about Zika research funding.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        They are playing at recess, so they aren’t going to do much of anything.

        • UnsaltedSinner

          But I’m sure they’re praying really hard.

    • chicken thief

      Rut roh…. pro golfing weenies who are opting out of the Olympics going to start skipping the big prize purses in FL now?! Looking at you, Day, Scott, Johnson, and McIlroy….

  • edith prickly

    Lady President of the World and Pwner of Scott Adams’ sad little balls. She should get those things bronzed and hang them on the White House Xmas tree next year.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      You do know big the White House Christmas tree is, right? You really need much bigger balls.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Earrings?

        • jmk

          Stud earrings…for the irony?

          • Ghenghis McCann

            He probably thinks he’s a stud.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          No one wants those anywhere near their face.

        • Toe rings

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Perhaps you could have a sort of bonsai Christmas tree?

  • Astraea

    Politico has nerdy details about the Convention planning and negotiations with Bernie.
    http://www.politico.com/story/2016/07/dnc-2016-hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders-supporters-226415

  • Miss Mnemosyne

    Hehe, just got my regular rare book porn email from a local store that shows what they have for sale. Their theme this time? American Politics.

    What do they have? Journal of the Proceedings of Congress (Continental, that is), Profiles in Courage (JFK), Lincoln-Douglas debates, and an Advance Press Transcript of Truman’s Final State of the Union Address.

    They topped off that total shillgasm with this quote:

    “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming… if he fails, at least [he] fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

    –Theodore Roosevelt

    Methinks the store might be run by a bunch of Hillary fans….

    • Blank Ron

      Likely. I mean, we already know that Drumpf fans can’t/won’t read.

      • chicken thief

        TOTALLY UNFAIR!!1!!!! They read tweets and … Facebook memes and….. tweets. So THERE!

        • Bemused

          They “read” Breitbart too! In a way of reading in which they click on the comment button and post “TRUMP2016!” even on stories about Pandas.

  • Ms.MLG1979

    Evan, if you saw any butthurt, sexist pigs faint from the force of all the testosterone vacating their bodies at once during Hill’s glorious moment, would your record the story so I can listen to it at bedtime every night?

  • chicken thief

    What? No mention of how you’re going to miss the awesome Philly Cheesesteak sammiches?!

    • Msgr_Moment

      I was dying to learn more of these “Philly Steamers”.

  • Joshua Norton

    Both India and Israel called and said “Welcome to the ’60’s”!

    • Ms.MLG1979

      Haha!

  • JVisconti

    Any event in Philly that wraps up w/o the Liberty Bell turning up missing is a success. And as long as Evan delivers those cheesesteaks he promised.

  • arglebargle

    Great to meet you Evan. Be happy we never switched to metric or you’d have a fuckton x 1.609344 kilometers to go.

  • Fartknocker

    Evan, I really hope you are well rested for your drive home given your wonderful hotel experience in Butthole, PA or wherever that place in the road is at.

  • Msgr_Moment

  • bookish

    Glad you had fun, Evan. Give Lula Belle a big kiss and throw that damn chicken.

  • AnOuthouse

    Its 1:30 p.m. and you’re just getting up apparently. I’m sure the boss won’t notice. I agree Philly is great. My daughter moved there a couple years ago and we love visiting her. She has very friendly neighbors.

  • DinkyBossetti

    Gus is going to be so sad when you don’t come in at 3am or whenever.

  • bubbuhh

    Guess what? Rudy is wrong again. Wrong is his specialty.

    Jerusalem unequivocally denied on Thursday that Israel’s leadership expressed a preference for Donald Trump over Hillary Clinton in the US presidential race, following a Washington Post story quoting former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani as saying that was the case.

    “The Prime Minister expressed no preference whatsoever in this presidential race,” Netanyahu’s spokesman David Keyes said.

    http://www.jpost.com/Israel-News/Politics-And-Diplomacy/Netanyahu-denies-Israeli-government-prefers-Trump-over-Clinton-462619

    • redarmyzombie

      Jeez, Donald, it’s sad when even Netanyahu can’t bring himself to endorse your campaign…

    • theblackdog

      Oh Giuliani, don’t you need to go fearmonger to some olds at the early bird special buffet line?

    • Zyxomma

      Giuliani is a coward. We New Yorkers know what’s up with him.

  • Courser

    Thanks Evan, for telling us all about the great things and people at the DNC. Have a safe trip home and give Lula a big hug.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Just don’t screw this up, America. The world can’t afford any nonsense from you this November.

    • Blank Ron

      Careful, you’ll give ’em performance anxiety ;)

  • theblackdog

    Evan, is that the bartender with the cute butt?!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    We also gotta say, Philadelphia is one of the nicest damn cities we’ve ever spent time in, and we will definitely be back to visit very, very soon.

    “Philadelphia, City of Brotherly Love, not in a gay way though, unless you’re into that sort of thing, which is perfectly fine to be into, and man, were city nicknames always this complicated?”
    — Philadelphia

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Enjoyed the reporting. Safe travels.

  • Crystalclear12

    103 days to finish line.

  • data_ninja

    Have a safe trip home Evan! Remember that you can’t do those long drives anymore, so pull off and get some rest when your body tells you to. It was great meeting you and the other wonkers in Cleveland, and I hope Philly was just as fun! I certainly hope it was less shooty-bullets-in-the-cars.

  • whitroth

    Meanwhile, I’m ROTFLMAO. Except for gun-humping, every single thing the GOP’s been claiming since, like, 1952, the Dems just took: the flag, patriotism, the troops, God ™.. jeez, all they needed was for someone to come out on stage and hand Hillary a home-made apple pie, and the election would have been over.

    mark, who always wondered why they ceded them to the GOP in the first place

    • Bemused

      The non-funny answer is hippies, social activism, and Vietnam.

      • whitroth

        Wrong answer. They started following the GOP to the right, after Humphrey’s and McGovern’s loss to Tricky Dick.

        mark, leftover hippie, and active
        in the streets during ‘Nam

        • Bemused

          Following the GOP to the right isn’t why the Dems ceded the flag, patriotism, the troops, and God though.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Drive safely, Evan! Stay outta Southwest PA!

  • Zyxomma

    Safe journey, Evan. Give the dog an extra scritch.

  • OddMan

    It has been too long since I drove back East. I had forgot how far it was from Philly to Memphis. 1000 miles, you be safe on the way home my friend.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos

    safe travels, Evan!
    Say, is it too late to ask if it really is always sunny there?

  • Brodie Parker

    Safe travels brother.

  • shaar dula

    polite enquiry- who are all in the ‘we’ in Evan’s posts?

    • Poe’s Law

      One of Dr. Zoom’s experiments went a little…we don’t talk about it.

      • shaar dula

        gee thanks for the tease. thanks obama? :)

        • Pickwicknext

          Always a good bet with thanking obama

  • Pookabun

    I cried too! I never ever do that, I don’t cry unless I’m really angry usually, but they got me 5 or 6 times :) Also – ya’ll should come have drinks with us in NYC on your way back.

  • Justno

    I cried and grinned simultaneously. Then sobbed some more wishing my mother and grandmother could have seen this.

    My mom was a lifelong Republican who voted for Obama, loved OHJB, was appalled by the way Charlie Christ was treated by nut jobs in Florida, was rabid anti GWB, and watched John Stewart religiously.
    She described Hillary as brilliant and would have danced in the streets last night. If she had lived I’m convinced she would have gone independent.

    One of my favorite memories is being with her in the recovery room at Moffitt Cancer Center after her surgery in 2008 and telling her about the RNC, Palin, Christ, and other absurdities she missed.

    So I guess I kinda owe Sarah for helping me distract my mom that night. That’s not approval, that’s more like she, along with the rest of the bizarro tea party idiots, is so fundamentally awful that she can distract a fucking cancer patient.

    I’m not a religious person but I hope my mom knows Hillary Clinton is about to be our first female president and that RBG is still kicking ass.

    She’d love this.

  • TheoLib

    Heading home to Memphis deserves John Hiatt’s faux country-music-bashing “Memphis In The Meantime” performed by Chris Smither (from a great blues album featuring various artists, Every Road I Take). “One more heartfelt steel guitar chord, it will do me in; I need to hear some saxophone, that sounds as sweet as sin …”:

    https://youtu.be/tT2j2OLYFro

  • going4baroque

    My timing is a little off, I understand that and I apologize, but during the course of the convention, did the Hillary campaign communication director give any intelligence on why Hillary’s trip to Moscow while Secretary of State of getting things done, the reset button, widely publicized as Hillary’s smart use of power in foreign diplomacy, not really reset anything? Is it that she is not really tech savvy and didn’t push the button but treated it like a trinket, a novelty, a knick-knack? Or just hoping that everyday people like me wouldn’t notice the failure of that diplomatic gesture?

  • Tiaras&tweetybirds

    hillary is mean.what was the point of the lock her up chants at rnc if she couldn’t bother to wear an orange pansuit in dnc?she doesn’t care about these people

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