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You don't bring me flowers...you don't sing me love songs...
You don’t bring me flowers…you don’t sing me love songs…

Sunday greetings, all you Wonkers who are inexplicably not off doing three-day weekend things! That includes Yr Dok Zoom, so here we are with another of our Senate Sunday Spectaculars, where we look at one of the 2016 U.S. Senate races, including even the likely blowouts, which are still fun because there’s always interesting stuff to find out about the candidates. Since we’re all star-spangled and Independencey this weekend, let’s look at a state where the Revolutionary War got rolling! Massachussetts, home to Lexington and Concord and the Tea Party and Paul Revere’s Ride, when he was firin’ those guns and ringin’ those bells to protect our Second Amendment rights, doesn’t have a Senate seat in play, so let’s go with New York, home to Fort Ticonderoga and the battles of Saratoga and Harlem Heights, and the first battle after the Declaration of Independence, George Washington’s defeat in the Battle of Long Island, which the Yankees lost to the Redcoats in extra innings (oh hush. We know where Yankee Stadium is, but there was no Battle of the Bronx).

The pretty much untouchable senior senator from New York is Chuck Schumer, Harry Reid’s personal choice to succeed him as Minority Leader. Or as seems likely given the human skidmark at the top of the Republican ticket, if Democrats retake the Senate this fall, Schumer would take over as Majority Leader. He’ll want to wash that gavel carefully, given that turtles carry salmonella.

While it sometimes feels like Schumer has been in the Senate forever, that’s only because he’s on TV all the time, plus he served in the House from 1981 until his 1998 ascent to the Senate. (Trivia buffs will note Schumer’s House seat was then won by a young up-and-comer named Anthony Weiner. Whatever happened to that fellow?) Now seeking his fourth term in the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body, Schumer has pretty much been in politics his whole life, getting elected to the New York State Assembly right out of law school in 1975, at the tender age of 25, without ever actually doing any lawyering.

Other important Schumer information to be gleaned from his Wikipedia page (shut up, it is a holiday weekend, and we certainly weren’t about to read his 2008 book) is a fine quote from Bob Dole about Sen. Schumer’s fondness for publicity: “The most dangerous place in Washington is between Charles Schumer and a television camera.” Which of course also reminds us of Chuck Schumer’s strangely leering visage popping up behind Sasha and Malia Obama at their dad’s 2012 inauguration. Wikipedia primly notes that this was not technically a “photobomb” as Schumer was “standing in the correct place.” Now, aren’t you glad we got that settled?

He was probably only trying to see around the 7-foot-tall Malia
He was probably only trying to see around the 7-foot-tall Malia

Politically, Schumer has a reputation as a “centrist,” which means whatever you want it to at any given moment. He’s in favor of stricter rules on gun ownership, and last August, after another goddamned shooting at a movie theater, held a press conference with his cousin Amy to call for strengthening background checks. He also walked over from the Senate to join the recent sit-in by House Democrats to demand universal background checks and an end to the No Fly List loophole. Schumer also sponsored a bill to financially punish rich Americans who give up their citizenship to escape taxes, like that one Facebook guy did, calling the bill the “Ex-Patriot Act,” which we can certainly get behind. It never went anywhere, but it did at least piss off Grover Norquist, which is always a mitzvah.

Oh, yes, and Schumer is Jewish, which people keep noticing for some reason, like the nice Arkansas state senator (and U.S. Senate hopeful) who definitely didn’t mean anything by it when he called Schumer “that Jew” — it was simply a neutral description. Schumer created rather a to-do last summer when he came out against the Iran nuclear deal because he said it was bad for Israel. Just in case the fact that he’s Jewish and pro-Israel wasn’t enough to get the point across, some gun-humping anti-Semite figured “Schumer” didn’t sound Jewish enough to be scary, as names go:

schumer-stein

You have to admire the genius of someone who’d add “-stein” to an already-Jewish name, and who uses “bullet holes in metal” graphics on a flag. Damn these Aryan supermen and their intellect!

On other issues: Schumer has a 100% rating from NARAL, supports broad consumer protections, and supports pay equity for women. On t’other hand, he tends toward the hawkish on foreign policy, and is very, very close to the financial industry. Nobody’s going to mistake him for Bernie Sanders.

Also, he once called a flight attendant a “bitch” when she asked him to turn off a cell phone, for which he apologized, but come on, you don’t do that. As Wonkette’s Jim Newell wrote at the time,

Oh man. If the official spokesman‘s statement actually admits guilt and refers to it as an “off-the-cuff comment under his breath,” that means that in reality — factoring in the Damage Control Spin Adjustment — Chuck Schumer probably got out of his seat and screamed “FUCKING BITCH!!!” at her dozens of times while waving his wiener in some old granny’s face.

Schumer also wrote this very strange line in his 2008 book, which was enough to make Alex Pareene stop paying attention to the Newsweek excerpt:

Biking through New York’s boroughs in 2005, I thought about some old friends, Joe and Eileen Bailey. Though they are imaginary, I frequently talk to them.

Speaking of imaginary friends, look at who the Republicans have picked to go up against Schumer: Wendy Long, who was still in debt from her failed 2012 run against junior New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand when she announced her candidacy. Her initial campaign filing showed she had just $122 cash on hand, compared to nearly $25 million for Schumer — and that was back in March.

Long is mostly famous as the failed candidate who rightwing Bag-O’-Smarts Dinesh D’Souza believed in so very hard that he wasn’t content to merely donate the federal limit of $5,000 to her. No, he had to go and find straw donors to give her another $20,000, for which he reimbursed them. It was a touching display of loyalty and political commitment and campaign finance law violations of the felonious kind. D’Souza has insisted from the beginning that he was prosecuted not because he pretty blatantly and clumsily broke the law, but because the Obama administration was out to get him for his brave shrieking bullshit movies about the evils of Barack Obama. The wingnuttosphere joined in, and explained that obviously D’Souza was being punished for making the best anti-Obama propaganda ever. The Daily Caller even pointed out the administration’s clear hypocrisy and selective prosecution:

[“2016: Obama’s America”] is currently the second-most-popular political documentary in American history behind “Farenheit 9/11,” a 2004 movie by leftist documentarian Michael Moore which thrashes the foreign policy of Obama’s predecessor, George W. Bush.

Bush administration officials never indicted Moore.

Damn, that’s some double standard, all right, if you leave aside little details like Michael Moore probably not having asked pals to make illegal campaign contributions. In any case, D’Souza pleaded guilty, just to prove what a tyrant Obama is, and went on to his new career as America’s Solzhenitsyn, documenting the horrors of being in a day-release detention facility where he was forced to walk sadly along the beach like a felonious J. Alfred Prufrock.

He has heard the book deals singing, each to each.
He has heard the book deals singing, each to each.

So with a big-name supporter like that — we’ll assume D’Souza’s already sent his single $5K donation and will stop at that — Long ought to be doing great. She’s hitched her hopes to the Donald Trump campaign, sending a May fundraising letter with this creative pitch:”In a blue state, I’m counting on Donald Trump to help me tell Chuck Schumer: You’re fired.” Clever! She rejected the idea that Trump will hurt down-ticket candidates, and even said that Trump was such an inspiring figure that, with his nomination and winning the presidency almost a sure thing, Trump actually

emboldened me to jump into the 2016 election to take on Chuck Schumer, the poster boy of the professional political class in Washington whose chokehold on our country Trump will break.

Dead Breitbart’s Home for Sputtering Umbrage thinks Long is the bee’s knees, and gave her a platform to explain how Schumer

really is a big phony. He holds himself out as a champion of the middle-class…when everything he has done for his entire political life — and by the way, he’s never held a job in the private sector, he’s been in public office for forty years, since he got out of college — everything he has done is to undermine economic growth, to weaken American sovereignty and our borders, to weaken America and to use the heavy hand of government against its citizens. He’s the one who turned the IRS against citizens who just trying [sic] to express their First Amendment rights

And in this year of the Trump Revolution, she’s pretty certain she can overcome little handicaps like having no money and no discernible support from prominent Republican consultants — Politico notes she still owes some of the heavy hitters money from 2012 — and win by appealing to Real Americans. Sean Hannity endorsed her, for instance, and she’s also spoken to the New York chapter of Oath Keepers, that everyday ordinary mainstream patriot group that wants to overthrow the government and hang John McCain by the neck until he loves America enough. She got some predictable cheers for attacking Schumer as an enemy of the Holy Second Amendment; the New York Oafs used the event as an opportunity to name Schumer to its “Dirty Dozen” of “Marxists and Communists” who hate America. So it looks like she’s found her niche.

Also in the 2016 race is Green Party candidate Robin Laverne Wilson, whose own campaign website bio starts out terrific but then closes by making her sound like the Greeniest Green to ever run as a Green:

I was born in Detroit, Michigan and was raised in San Antonio, Texas. My father was retired US Army Sergeant First Class combat medic who served in Korea and Vietnam. My mother was a homemaker and then worked as a domestic as my father’s health declined from his exposure to war and agent orange. I migrated to the NYC Metro area in 2003 and graduated magna cum laude from Rutgers University. I have been proudly anchored in Brooklyn for the last three years. I am currently pursuing an MA in Applied Theatre from CUNY School of Professional Studies, and have committed my life to using art and culture for profound social-political change.

Darn it, she almost had us, but now all we can see is giant Euro-protest puppets.

Want to throw some money at the Democratic Establishment for some reason? Chuck Schumer’s donation page is right here! Feel like raising some leftwing hell and earnest street theater? Robin Wilson’s donation page is here! Want to support Wonkette’s ongoing weekly countdown of 2016’s U.S. Senate Races? Throw some monetary love in our tip jar over here!

[NYT / New Yorker / NYDN / Syracuse.com / Breitbart.com / RenewAmerica / Rightwing Watch / New York Oath Keepers on Facebook]

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  • The Wanderer

    “Human skidmark.” I laughed aloud when I read that.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Skidmark libelz!!!!!11!!!!

      • The Wanderer

        I don’t know about that.

        • Skadi

          Well, we had a paramedic ambulance driver guy where I grew up, named Mark Carruthers, more commonly known as “Skidmark”. So yeah, unfair comparison there, at least.

          • The Wanderer

            I’ll concede the point.

    • jmk

      The offspring took exception to this… according to him, the title “human skidmark” belongs wholly and entirely to Sean Hannity.

  • bubbuhh
  • Nounverb911

    This is all really interesting, but isn’t today’s big question will Iceland defeat France in the European Soccer thingy today and totally destroy the world order?

    • The Wanderer

      I want Iceland to win. The Vikings beat the crap out of the French before (the Normans are their kin), they can surely manage the same feat again.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Feet don’t fail me now!

      • cousin itt

        With Ragnar as team captain, I say Paris will fall.

        • bozilingus

          I bet Ragnar rocks!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Iceland uber alles.

      • wurman

        Ar skal rīsa sās annars vill
        fē eþa ǫr hafa
        liggjandi ulfr sjaldan lāer of getr
        nē sof andi maþr sigr

        He must rise early who wants the blood
        Or the goods of another
        The wolf who lies idle shall win little meat
        Or the sleeping man to succeed

    • Yay! for Team Iceland in the sportsball thingy!

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      What about the Tour de France?

      • The Wanderer

        I love the scenery. Great helicopter shots.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          They are fantastic. The shots taken from the folks riding on motorcycles are also incredible. And, as usual, “the smiling countryside”.

  • Hey, Kentucky!

    • The Wanderer

      I want to watch McConnell give up his position to Schumer. I want to see the expression on his jowly, withered, grandmotherly face.
      And it’d be almost masturbation-worthy to watch Ryan pass the Speakership to Pelosi.

      • Sardonicuss

        Seeing Ryan weep like Boner handing over the gavel would make my decade.

        • The Wanderer

          HO, yus!

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Not to mention that, along with being the runner-up to Joe Biden in the election, Ryan would prove once again that he’s just full to the brim of fail.

      • bozilingus

        Isn’t there a better choice for Senate Majority Leader than Chuckie?

        • Seek

          Yes, many but that’s not the way to works.

          • bozilingus

            But the SML is elected by the party members, so there could be another choice.

          • Seek

            In theory, but just like there were undoubtedly better choices than the turtle on the R side, eventually longevity and quid pro quo pays off and Chuck gets his turn

          • revenant

            “Senate Majority Leader Elizabeth Warren”- be still my foolish heart

      • Lizzietish81
        • The Wanderer

          I loved both of these scenes. Such a great series.

          • Lizzietish81

            That’s the second time in as many days I’ve referenced it.

            The other time was Londo blowing up the island after Cercei’s extreme solution to a problem.

          • The Wanderer

            (nods) Sometimes you have to destroy the village in order to save it.

          • Lizzietish81

            Or in Cercei’s case, blow up the church to avoid jail time

    • bubbuhh

      If you touch it, wash thoroughly. Mebbe boil turtle 2

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I sincerely, deeply, and truly apologize for our continued despicable behavior. Here in Kentuckistan, we’s not too edumacated, and if’n we recognize yer name on the ballot, we’ll just go on ahead an’ vote for ya, on account of how we’s always voted Republican because our daddy was a Republican.

      • wurman

        And iffen our daddy was a Democrat, momma would be dead of bein’ shot fer havin’ sexy time with a revenooer

  • ManchuCandidate

    For Dinesh it’s just another Long Con.

    • This sure does seem to be the Year of the Grift, don’t it?

      • wurman

        Read Elie Wiesel’s obit this morning: he was fleeced of $millions by the scumbag Bernie Madoff. Grrrrrrr.

    • Sardonicuss

      Another day in the life of Ivan Dineshovictch.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I know I always think of Dinesh and Solzhenitsyn in the same breath.

        • Sardonicuss

          Would refer to his upcoming version of “The Cancer Ward”…but comments are not allowed.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      He never really was a solid scammer, and the early conviction really hurt his chances at the big leagues.
      If you can’t throw a solid curve you will never last in the Bigs.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I just assumed he wanted to get caught, considering how clumsily transparent his lawbreaking was. The martyr card probably moved some books for him, and that was his strategy.

  • bozilingus

    The picture of D’Souza, is he auditioning for a Republican hygiene commercial? Is he bleeding out of his wherever?

    • Sardonicuss

      Look behind you Dinesh. See when there were only one set of tracks?
      That is when god was riding you like a rented mule.

      • jmhm

        made me lol.

        • The Wanderer

          Then my work here is done!
          Up, up, and away!

      • The Wanderer

        Then why isn’t D’Souza walking bow-legged?

    • The Wanderer

      He suffers from Electile Dysfunction.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Ba dum tish!

      • bozilingus

        If your party is out of power for more than 4 years, consider a gerrymander.

    • revenant

      Republican hygiene? you mean there is a product with which you can just wash them off? or cure them? or, best of all, prevent them?
      if it works, sign me up for a case- hell, make it two

      • bozilingus

        I thought it was an oxymoron when I typed it.

  • Lizzietish81

    Shit, I’ve been anchored in Brooklyn longer than she has

    • Lascauxcaveman

      But you don’t have an MFA, which I think is required to run as a Green in NYC?

      • Reddishrabbit

        You got to do something with the MFA.

  • Jeff in the desert

    Star and Stripes Forever? He invented the Souzaphone, an iPhone clone that Trump tweets from…

  • memzilla

    O/T, but who’s bringing the pigsicles?
    .

    • Jeff in the desert

      Do you like the whipped and frozen, or the solid block frozen from flavored lard melted and put in a mold?

    • Swampgas_Man

      I can understand the others, but did they just paint Franklin green and staple him to the Hulk, or did were they able to rip off Franklin’s clothes and paint him green?

      • Objectifer

        Don’t make Ben angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry.

    • Astraea

      The only thing wrong with this is the missing Betsy Ross as Black Widow

      • Lizzietish81

        sigh, once again we don’t get a black widow fig

    • A scene taken right of of Texas history textbooks.

      • revenant

        frontispiece

  • jmhm

    Felonious J. Alfred Prufrock would have been the greatest WC Fields character name ever.

    The funny thing is, Schumer and Sanders seem to be pretty tight. Schumer was one of the people who recruited Sanders to risk his safe seat and try for the Senate.

  • Nockular cavity

    “George Washington’s defeat in the Battle of Long Island”

    Yeah, and you know why we got our asses kicked? Because militias are fucking USELESS (in general, throughout history). Washington was furious at the way they just crumbled and ran. Somehow, we still ended up with the 2nd Amendment.

    • Brendan_M

      Militias work fine for keeping slaves in line, which is what the 2nd Amendment is about.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah. Militias (in the classic sense, not the modern National Guard units) work much better when the opposition is unarmed.

        • H0mer0

          diint someone in the non comment section remark a few days ago about how the Mexican Militia mobilized to help in Katrina faster than Dubya and Brownie could get the National Guard?

      • Amy!

        Also useful (before about 1830) in setting fire to the villages of Native Americans and taking their land. Again, mostly in the south; up north (in Ohio, Illinois, and Indiana) the professional army got sent in behind the settlers (who didn’t pretend to form a militia before murdering “savages” wholesale).

  • geoffalnutt

    D’Souza’s a D’Dick!!

    • Groundloop

      Speaking for myself, I’ve always thought of him as a D’Ouchebag.

  • Fartknocker

    Just so ya know Wendy, I also have worked for the government for all of my life. Now I will never be as influential as Chuck Schumer (who I wish I had as my Senator instead of that shit stain gold plated cockgoblin named Cruz), but serving the people of my town of 800K for 28 years has been stressful, painful, a challenge as a parent, and the most rewarding life adventure. So Wendy, go fuck yourself and good luck in your election.

    • The 1980s, according to Saint Ronnie?

      • Lamashtar

        Weird thing, teachers are blocking food from getting through to Mexico’s poorer regions. Apparently, there are bad teachers? http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-36692269

        • kimberlyrsingley

          <<u.
          ✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:::::::!bk1104er:….,..

    • chimichanga

      “Wendy, go fuck yourself.” Or more for more hi tech folks, buzz off. CWIDT?

    • jmhm

      Sam Elliot is a union supporter?

      I wouldn’t have thought I could love him any more.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    I have imaginary friends I talk to. They’re called wonkette commenters

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Too bad it’s not allowed.

    • Lamashtar

      It’s true! I’m just a sock puppet!

  • Ding dang dumb libels! Doc, I is a call in you OUT! This here comment section ain’t a big enough for the two of us! You varmint! You think no one would notice that you put donation links to everybody BUT De Soutzah and Windy Lang. Find sand dumb libels don’t know nuthin bout no democrcratic or the Consitootion.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Dinesh D’Souza straw man names included ICWiener and Seymour Butts

    • The Wanderer

      Mike Hunt and Amanda Hugankis?

  • Jeff in the desert

    Jews in Congress? Is that even legal? I mean the Queen, Duchess of Brexit, Baroness of the former German Territories must be an Anglican or she can’t reign. Doesn’t the Constitution say something about Jews, Blacks, and other of the non-Christian faiths (you too Mooslims) exempted from holding office due to non-acceptance of the Lord? See what this country is coming to? Ending sentences in prepositions, homo holding office, transgender people peeing in the wrong place. And an article like this on Sunday, THE Sabbath….you godless, wanking jerks should love it or leave it.

    • The Wanderer

      “Godless, wanking jerk?”
      Thank you! :-)

      • Jeff in the desert

        Hey, you’re welcome. That is what us trolls are for…

        • efoveks

          “If it’s Sunday, its Meet the Press”… duh

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Meds. Take your meds. We’re at MsAnthrope ‘s mom’s today.

      • Jeff in the desert

        Oh….when visiting the MIL I could say the same. (although much more for Anne than you…)

      • Jeff in the desert

        Thanks for reminding me….

    • Sardonicuss

      Can’t here you….baitin’.

      • Lamashtar

        They see me trollin’..

    • Alex Grey

      The Sabbath is Saturday.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    have committed my life to using art and culture for profound social-political change.

    Along with growlers and handlebar mustaches and jorts and PBR and twee pop

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I know that when I am unfairly accused of something, I immediately confess, do prison time, and defiantly display my felon ankle monitor as a sign of my innocence.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      You too?

    • The Wanderer

      Years ago I met a gentleman who loudly proclaimed that he was ‘better’ than me because he had graduated from the Georgia state prison system.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        “you see, I’m what you’d call a recidivist”

        • The Wanderer

          Hmm, “recidivist.” Fine, woody-sounding word.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Actually that comes from a real conversation I had with someone at a bar in 1994 or so…

          • The Wanderer

            Must have been an extremely interesting conversation.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I used to hang out at bars like that.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Was that you? Richmond VA? 1990s? Punk club

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Hmmm, could be, could be…

          • TJ Barke

            Was Strike Anywhere, or one of their precursor bands, headlining?

          • MsAnthropesMr

            It was Halloween. I think it was down the street from a ululating mummies show.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I missed the Ululating Mummies when they toured through AZ..

          • MsAnthropesMr

            God, they tour? I thought that was a Richmond only thing.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            They’re big in Egypt.

          • wurman

            Familiar, ayeh. Jack Daniels on tap. Chicken wire cage around the bandstand. If you wanted mixer for a cocktail, the soda pop machine was between the condom dispenser and the jukebox. Men’s toilet was the first tree out the back door; women’s was the second tree–no fair peeking. Beer sold by the pitcher only. Cash up; no checks, no plastic, no credit. Originally opened as the “Slop Chute” and morphed into “Busted Biker’s Bar.” Happy hour was noon to midnight and grouchy hour was from midnight to 2 a.m. Live music Fri, Sat, Sun from 9 till closing.

          • H0mer0

            [I thought the descriptive/obfuscatory word was “cromulent.”]

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, to be fair, he could probably make license plates better than you.

        • Skadi

          Yeah, they teach real skills in the Big House, as opposed to those ivory tower universities. Zing!

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Well at Stanford for instance you learn how to avoid jail time for raping someone.

          • Skadi

            From the sound of things, he’d already been taking lessons back home before going to college.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Well, in his defense, he did live in a gated community for a while.

    • Sardonicuss

      He’s “Cool Hand Dinesh”.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Bamz is The Man With No Eyes.

      • Objectifer

        But can he eat fiddy eggs?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Meh. He isn’t cool anything.

        The guys convicted of removing the tags from pillows used to beat him up for for his prison lunch desert.

  • TJ Barke

    Innocent victims of persecution always plead guilty.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Unfortunately, it does happen with mentally ill folks who’ve been arrested along with disenfranchised folks who have few other options. :(

      • TJ Barke

        yes I know, but D’ouchebag is pretending to be the subject of a wrongful witch hunt that was singling him out for his political views, not a poor mentally handicapped scapegoat that was coerced into confession.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Yep.

          • TJ Barke

            Though given his political views, I wouldn’t rule out a slight degree of mental handicap…

    • Vegan and Tiara

      The real crime here is that he had no voice because the evil Muslim Kenyan dictator, who is destroying America from within while spending all his time wearing mom jeans and playing golf, silenced him!!! If only there was some sort of rightwing news outlet where D’Souza’s story could have been told.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    In general, I support the idea of restoring civil rights to felons after they’ve paid their debt to society. Then I think of Dinesh, and I’m like, “nah”.

    • The Wanderer

      There are exceptions to every rule.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Well, now the GayBLT crowd is trying to throat cram the gay stuff down the throat of pre-schoolers!!!!! Hide your babies! Donna Rose, you need to stay strong against the big gay agenda!!!

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/06/27/lgbt-crowd-eyes-preschool-children.html?intcmp=ob_article_triple_rightrail_organic&intcmp=obnetwork

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I don’t like tomatoes

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I’m sick of the gays and having their BLTs crammed down my throat! Some times I’m not even hungry!

    • Sami

      just fyi mang I don’t think Donna Rose can read

      • Vegan and Tiara

        She’ll read this after the Libtards have tried to seduce her with their queer stuff and transgender bathrooms madness, and she’ll know someone tried to save her from a lifetime of hot, consequence free, sexxxy times.

        • efoveks

          “Procreation, not recreation!”

          wait, what? Who’m I kidding?

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I treat my body like it’s sacred…a sacred playground.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Just opening that tab made my browser run backwards, and my dogs began to howl in unison.

    • Astraea

      What a thoughtful, considered response from foxnews dot com.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Not one single DROP of hysteria from those patriotic truth tellers, in that whole, well written and researched, article. I believe this article just as much as I believe D’Souza is an innocent man!

    • Suttree

      That isn’t an inflammatory headline in the least either.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        They’re just trying to get the truth out! Tell the world!!!!

  • Lizzietish81

    You know who else didn’t like Jews?

    • Jeff in the desert

      Walt Disney?

    • The Wanderer

      Ivan IV Grozny?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Henry Ford

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Nixon?

    • Skadi

      Martin Luther?

    • therblig

      david duke who i’ve never heard of let alone accepted an endorsement from.

    • Sardonicuss

      Marsha Clarke? Oh wait…Jews..not Juice. Never mind.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      According to Tom Lehrer, everyone?

    • Beowoof14

      Vepesaian

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Mel Gibson?

    • TJ Barke

      The LAPD? Oh no that was “The Juice”.

    • TMK

      Charles Lindberg!

    • Werewolf

      Hadrian? Justinian? Tomas de Torquemada?

    • John Smith

      Pharoah Ramses.

    • JMP

      Ironically, everyone who comments at Breitbart?

    • Sakonyachen

      Woody Allen?

    • Querolous

      Anyone who heard “Angel of the Morning ” too often on the radio?

    • MrCanoehead

      The author of The Paradox Of Choice?

      Sorry; he hates to choose.

    • Well, my brother was so scared by that shark he didn’t go swimming for the whole rest of that summer and . . . wait –

    • CJTX

      Charles Lindbergh?

      (Boom, I’m never smart enough to get in on one of these).

      P.S. GAH! Somebody did beat me to it and I didn’t see it…sigh.

    • JustPixelz

      AOT,K

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Malia, if only you had managed to have suffered from ‘bone-spurs’ like Trump that was the time to have used them.

  • therblig

    he has measured out his life with coulter spoons.

    ew.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    The right wing doom and gloomers thought there would be a great deal of humor if they started some rumors that the baby boomer Schumer had a tumor, wore pink bloomers, and as chief Obama sycophant, took their dogs to the groomers.

    (Too much blood in my caffeine system to have even attempted this.)

  • Sami

    Australia just had a Federal election, There was Some Discussion of a party spending A MILLION DOLLARS on one race, and all I could think was: “If they heard that, Americans would think we were ADORABLE.”

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I think your wombats are adorable!

      • Sakonyachen

        You KNOW they are adorable.

      • Sami

        IF you want max adorbs, check out quokkas. They are made of fur and love.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          The names alone of your animals are precious.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yeah, quokkas are so cute they make koalas appear downright sinister in comparison.

        • Suttree

          Omg. They are so smiley!

    • Sardonicuss

      Watched “Jim Jeffries : Freedumb” last night. My new favorite Aussie.
      https://www.netflix.com/watch/80106979?trackId=13927326&tctx=1%2C0%2C0771f9b2-2b6a-433c-95b0-4e3c7eff2607-20114989
      Well, since his last standup…

      • TJ Barke

        Right? That fucker’s hilarious.

        • Sardonicuss

          Oh man, I was cackling so loud….I looked around in embarrassment. Then remembered I was by myself.

          • TJ Barke

            “What kind of comedy do you do?”
            “I say cunt more than anybody else…”

          • Sardonicuss

            Jenny McCartney:”We knew a scientist wasn’t going to be falling out of that….”
            brutal

      • Jonny On Maui

        Looking forward to that tonight. I got distracted last night by the next season of “Unsealed Alien Files”.

        Yes, I know…

    • bubbuhh

      I hear you folks ended up with a hung Parliament. Knowing Australians, I guess your PMs will issue a statement saying it’s a well hung parliament.

    • OddMan

      And they spend 2 Million dollars on protection from deadly snakes, spiders, plants, and drop bears.

      • Sami

        We WISH we only spent two million on drop bears. I live in WA, they’re feral over here.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          What is a drop bear? Because it sounds like a blast-ended skrewt.

          • Sami

            Drop bears are carnivorous cousins of the koala. They’re a bit bigger, have fangs, longer and sharper claws, and they attack by dropping from the trees onto their prey. Think of a honey badger, only, you know, attacking from perfect camouflage in tree branches.

          • david green

            So not cute and sort of cuddly?

      • Skadi

        Makes sense. You can’t be too careful with those things.

        http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix4/dropbears1.JPG

  • Beowoof14

    Oh I am pretty sure Chuck has got this. As a New York voter I can promise voting for any republican is not on to do list.

    • Ezio

      As a fellow New York voter, I second this.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        So the motion carries.

  • Lizzietish81

    Man, back when Ted Kennedy was alive I was always tempted to throw a sympathy vote to the poor bastard who had been chosen to run against.

    But then I’d be like “hahaha screw you loser” and vote for Ted.

    • Ulricii

      Smart move Lizzie. Don’t feed the guppies. Some of them develop into killer sharks.

      • revenant

        that’s IT! the Trump Campaign = SHARKNADO!!!!11!!

  • revenant

    he should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

    with the emphasis on silent

  • John Orendorff

    Don’t them Mooslems call ISIS, Dinesh?

  • TMK

    No fair! You didn’t include a link to what’s-her-name’s campaign, thereby breaking non-existent campaign laws that say Republicans must always be allowed to have twice as much of everything as normal people. I’m going to sue.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Sue says, Hello TMK, where’ve you been; long time no see?

  • CJTX

    “I am currently pursuing an MA in Applied Theatre from CUNY School of Professional Studies”

    Ya know, I wasted my first chance in college in Film school – so I’m not going ot make fun. but APPLIED theatre? WTF IS APPLIED THEATRE?!?!?

    Okay, so you major in physics or math, or you can major in applied physics and math – that’s like when you use said physics or math to solve real world problems. I no science gud, but that’s what I’ve gathered.

    So i reiterate – WTF IS APPLIED THEATRE?!?!?

    Sorry it’s too early on a Sunday morning to be shouty…give me my Dear Shit Fer Brains and I’ll go away.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Isn’t it theater that you iron on to the front of your t-shirt?

      • CJTX

        I just…I….I really don’t know.

        I’ve haven’t been well for the past week (I’m better now!) and I just finished my intensive summer course…so maybe it’s me.

      • revenant

        Applique Theater- best band name ever, or bestest band name ever?

      • Sardonicuss

        Silk Screen Theater!

    • TJ Barke

      Liz Lemon libelz!

    • bubbuhh

      APPLIED THEATRE is when mimes attack.

      • revenant

        When Mimes Attack- coming soon on The History Channel!!!

        • CJTX

          Nah, that’s Fox all the way. (Y’all remember when Fox used to “When Animals Attack?” – ahh, the 90’s.

          • revenant

            thanks for the correction- when last was exposed to The History Channel it was all Secrets of the AlienNaziPyramids Revealed!
            and Mysteries of the PyramidNaziAliens! and shit

          • TJ Barke

            When you see that sort of garbage popping up on all of the “educational” channels, it’s no wonder Americans seem so fucking dumb…

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            “Seem”?

          • revenant

            “let be
            be finale of seem”

          • CJTX

            Right? I hate to be pedantic, I really do, but I was reminded of the early Family Guy clip.

            Anyway, SO SO sad what happened to the history channel. As a weird kid and teenager, I spent many a weekend afternoon glued to documentaries, that were actually about historical things…ugh, I’m not even going to get started on this ’cause I’ll get all shouty again and all you smart folks here know exactly what I’m talking about.

          • CJTX

            Heh – this is what I was thinking of:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-59FL3OLdKc

          • BloviateMe

            Definitely a case of ‘be careful what you wish for.’ I used to get pissed that it was all Hitler, all the time, but then it got worse.

    • Sardonicuss

      Well, there is Applied Physics and Experimental Physics so….?…nah I got nothing.

      • CJTX

        Exactly my point! Theoritical physics – that’s like quantum mechanics and string theory and shit (remember I no science gud). Applied physics = How do we get this big ass thing to go over there?

        Makes total sense to me…hence my total confusion on this.

        • Sardonicuss

          I guess when I watched a movie the other night, I was really engaging in “Non-applied theater”.

      • MrCanoehead

        There’s experimental theatre. The place to go if you want to see a woman smear herself with chocolate but you don’t speak German.

        • CJTX

          heh – I think David Sedaris did the best “deconstruction” of performance theatre EVAH in his book “Me Talk Pretty One Day”.

          I can’t quote anything – there’s several dozen pages that are great.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            That book made me laugh so hard I did that thing where you look around to see if you’re disturbing anybody else, even though you know you’re home alone. I was actually afraid the neighbors would hear me through the walls.

          • CJTX

            IKR?!?!?

            I love that book – I was crashing at a pad in LA where I knew no one and had no money, and couldn’t figure out how to get the owner’s cable to work (remember I was a Senior in a Film & Video program). I found that book on the shelf and laughed until my sides literally hurt and I couldn’t breathe.

            I’ve read it since, and it’s not the same. That first time through teh book is like losing your virginity…it’s never the same as the first time. (And yes my first time was humiliating and embarrassing, but you get my bizarre point. Damn I need a coffee substitute).

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Everything that guy writes is hilarious, and sometimes quite poignant.

        • Captain Kraut

          German scat porn libelz!!1!

    • Ezio

      Good question. Especially when you consider that the American political landscape itself is already theatre.

      • CJTX

        EUREKA!

        I think you got it my friend – Applied Theatre is American-style politics 101 – except without all that history and facts and stuff.

        • revenant

          in other words- Theory and Practice of the Side Show

          • CJTX

            See now, I wanna do a whole bit on courses you could take in Applied Theatre (Secretly American Politics)….
            -Intro to Obfuscation
            -Spin and How to Use It

            Let your minds go wild…I’m being lazy today (again).

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            -Embiggening the Performing Arts

          • CJTX

            -Beginner’s Doublespeak
            -Advanced Hypocrisy (a lower level degree in Hypocrisy is required for joining the MA program).

            (One of my favorite jokes from Community is when Allyson Brie’s character decides to switch majors to Forensics (like CSI stuff) and she’s sad that she didn’t get into a class called Advanced Advanced Decomposition. Such a stupid joke…so funny.)

        • Sardonicuss

          It’s poli-sci…for not-lawyers!

          • CJTX

            And people who hate statistics!

          • Querolous

            Mythamatics

        • Ezio

          Professor Donald Trump: Making edumacation great again.

          • Sardonicuss

            For people who need joblifyin!
            ….or jobulating.

      • revenant

        like Ionesco but with moar grotesquery

      • tehbaddr

        Theater of the Macabre and Absurd.

    • Lizzietish81

      Gonna geek out for a moment but here is my lord and Savior Misha Collins going over his resume

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWYfM6DV0P0

      • Pickwicknext

        I watched that a while ago and nearly peed from laughing

    • Where you get a job in a barber shop because you once played Sweeney Todd?

      • hendenburg2

        Is that better or worse than getting a job at a bakery because you were in Sweeney Todd?

    • Parakeetist

      It’s called being an actor. Quit yelling.

      • Ulricii

        So she’s getting a degree in acting. Why don’t they just say that rather than inflating it to a polysyllabic phrase?

        • Sakonyachen

          For the same reason that my father was a custodial engineer. It made being an underpaid janitor sound better.

          • CJTX

            When dad still had his really great civil service job, it was “Education Specialist”. He was teaching the people who teach the soldiers.

          • Sardonicuss

            I had a civil service job once and my job title was just:
            “Computer Expert”…seriously. GS-9 ..I think?

          • BloviateMe

            I’d change all my business cards to “Computer Sexpert.”

          • CJTX

            Ugh, the modern job market is ridiculous. I did a military contracting gig a year or two ago where I was something like a “Computer Operator”. Oddly enough, we operated computers like 10% of the gig.

          • JH Marx

            I was a ‘Contract Specialist.’

          • Sardonicuss

            Ohh..I want that job! With grad degree starts at like 80k! Yes, I need that to relocate from hell hole.

        • Skadi

          It’s more like a degree in teaching acting.

    • Skadi

      Drama used as a teaching tool, as therapy, as political propaganda, etc.

      • CJTX

        This is the first non-snark answer that makes any sense.

        And now I feel bad – the arts as teaching and therapy is a good thing…fair enough.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Good snark means never having to feel bad. . . or something.
          I’ll go out and come in again.

          • CJTX

            I know you feel – I’ve had to give up my coffee for some health reasons…mumble, mumble, mumble.

            I tend to miss the whole point and focus on the weird stuff. I’m bad and I should feel bad. ;)

          • revenant

            the weird stuff is the fun stuff

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Nah, and sorry to hear about the health reasons. :((

          • CJTX

            Awwww, y’all are too sweet. I should clarify – I’m not in ANY kind of bad shape (although I need to keep taking my blood pressure meds). It’s not cancer or HIV or Ebola or anything serious..I just was feeling really awful (kinda like a 3 week stomach flu). But I’m making “lifestyle adjustments” and the last 2 days have been better.

            But thank you. ;)

          • Skadi

            It sounds a little weird, I know. It’s OK. *offers decaf*

            (Or an herbal tisane, if decaf’s too much.)

          • CJTX

            Thanks. Sadly it’s the coffee and not the caffeine…okay the caffeine doesn’t help either.

            Somebody recommended some really fine dark tea as a substitute the other day in another thread – I’m hoping I can (literally, not figuratively) stomach it.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Do you get enough exercise? Cycling has done a world of good to both my thickening middle-aged body and my grumpy, pessimistic, liberal psyche. Also, there is something inherently uplifting about nicely built up vintage racing bike.

            Also, I strongly recommend some Earl Grey therapy for you craven former coffee victims, too.

          • CJTX

            i dont! i feel better when i do – hoping to start up my mild gym regimen again soon. (Hard to exercise when you’re sick…hard to not be sick when you’re not exercising, you know?)

          • david green

            Well, my grumpy psyche thinks Paxil is just fine. Doesn’t do anything for the physical old-aged body tho. I’m thinking of hiring someone younger to go to the gym for me.

    • I worked for a medium sized not for profit agency for almost 20 years. We sat through a lot of this stuff.

      The groups have names like ‘People NOW-People WOW!’ and everybody says “hey” a lot.

      Then we’d all go and fall backwards and trust our co-workers to catch us.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Your last sentence kinda threw me – I was expecting it to end “we’d all go to a bar and make fun of the People NOW people!”

        • Sometimes it would be a two or three day event. They’d make us go to some moldy girl scout camp in the wilds of Tennessee to sleep in bunk beds and Team Build. No booze or sexxytime allowed – in theory. I always wound up with poison ivy – ALWAYS.

          And most people think being middle management for a non profit is a piece of cake!

          • pstockholm

            At least you wound up with someone despite the theoretical no sexxytime policy. And that Ivy sounds like a pretty wild chick.

      • SnarkOff

        People OW.

    • SnarkOff

      It would be more honest and humane to just demand $250,000 from each student on the first day of class, hand them a diploma and then send them home. They’ll still waste a quarter of a million dollars but at least they won’t have to study for anything.

    • data_ninja

      I was told it’s either Application or it’s Theory.
      So this must be the crossover in the Venn diagram for “Application/Theatrey”.

      *mind blown*

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    OT: That Trump Star of David/Clinton Tweet was really created by White Sumpremacists:

    http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/286408-trump-star-of-david-tweet-created-by-white-supremacists

    • bubbuhh

      So, Trunip’s outsourcing his tweets to zika dicked white boys.

      • revenant

        as usual

      • Parakeetist

        Zika dicked white boys = Nobel Prize for Literature

        • Sakonyachen

          And the Nobel prize for LOLerature!

        • bubbuhh

          LoLz

      • revenant

        “Mr. Trump, where do you get your ideas?”

        “Zika dicked white boys. Doesn’t everybody?”

        • The Wanderer

          “Mr. Trump, where do you get your ideas?”
          “Only the classiest men’s room walls, of course!”

    • Spotts1701

      And Corey Lewandowski was doing his best to explain in his new CNN gig that Trump is just another victim of “political correctness run amok”.
      Way to go, CNN. Good hire right there…

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        What, exactly, qualifies Corey Lewandowski to offer opinions on anything? Being fired for being bad at being the campaign manager for the worst candidate since Caligula doesn’t quite cut it for me.

        • Astraea

          Neat trick how he was fired to make it look like the campaign was pivoting, then he got hired to continue campaigning on a national news channel.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Why pay campaign staff when a media outlet will do it for you?

          • revenant

            and the checks from this new gig prolly don’t bounce

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And you don’t have to have “don’t ever forget to call him Mr. Trump” tattooed on the inside of your eyelids.

          • revenant

            Ladies and Gentlemen, behold Our Beloved Fourth Estate, Watchdogs of Freedumb

          • pstockholm

            资本主义的走狗

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “Right wing ragehole” is apparently quite the resume nugget these days.

        • revenant

          well, it does give him a certain value as a freak, which has a long tradition in entertainment. in news, not so much

          and he seems plenty freakish just on his own, so he is not only a natural, but a Credentialed Freak

        • jmhm

          Mark Fuhrman was busy? They have similar skillsets.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      Yep, it’s unmistakeably alt-right Neo-Nazi, only a fucking idiot would not have noticed it. So either Donald Trump is a dumb motherfucker which is his argument every time he gets caught retweeting anime neo-Nazi’s or he’s a racist bag o’ shit which is my contention.

      • revenant

        C. Both of the above

        • david green

          Exactly – he is a multi-threat shitbag.

      • Either way, he definitely understands the power of the dark side.

      • Astraea

        Given his old interview where he talks about how much better he’d have it if he’d been an “educated black,” I’m going to go with AOT,K

  • OT: IS THE STATUE OF LIBERTY A GROSS SURRENDER-MONKEY TRANNY?!?

    Here’s a peak under her/his skirt.

    FOX REPORTS! YOU DECIDE!

    http://www.rawstory.com/2016/07/is-lady-liberty-a-man-fox-worries-france-pulled-a-fast-one-with-transgender-statue-of-liberty/comments/#disqus

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      What in the what, Fox. I guess that will take care of that pesky “Give us your poor, ” stuff eh?

      • jmhm

        I love that somebody floated the idea that maybe the anthropomorphic personification wasn’t gendered and they got shot down. Liberty is a lady, dammit, and she knows her place.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      The French, cramming the tyranny of trannies down our throats before it was cool.

  • The Librarian

    “Applied Theatre refers to the practice of theatre and drama in non-traditional settings and/or with marginalized communities. It encompasses theatre practices which tackle areas of social and cultural policy such as public health, education, housing, social welfare, and juvenile and criminal justice.”

    -NYU website..

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Just reading that description made my insides feel the way they do when I step on something sharp.

      • hendenburg2

        or on a lego

      • Skadi

        …this is probably not a good time to mention I nearly took that class, is it? :p

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          No, no, I have nothing against other people studying whatever blows their dress up, as long as I don’t have to put on clothes and go watch them do it.

          • Skadi

            Watch it, or I’ll make you look at pictures of me doing interactive theatre with grade schoolers in a blowing dress.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            interactive theatre with grade schoolers – as long as that’s not code for “trying to explain things to Republicans” I’d watch it.

          • Skadi

            Holy Lady, no. It’s wasted on most people who have already made the choice to become Republican. But if you catch them while they’re young and teach them about co-operation and the importance of art and the power of love and shit like that, you can sometimes save them from being complete douchenozzles.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Aw, kids give me warm fuzzies. I’d watch a roomful of first-graders doing just about anything anytime.

          • Skadi
          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Second graders also too, but only if they still have missing teeth. Nothing gets me quite like a kid with new teeth coming in. I have no idea why this should be.

          • Jukesgrrl

            It’s the last gasp of adorable childhood. They get far less cute after that phase.

          • BloviateMe

            Wanna see my interpretive dance of making a sandwich? It’s a visual rebuke of corporate America, and it’s quite awful.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Only if you wear a helmet made out of a watermelon rind while you do it, and if you don’t put fucking Miracle Whip on anything.

          • bozilingus

            I love the great taste of Miracle Whip!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Paging Leonard Pinth Garnell!

        • MrCanoehead

          Honestly, I would’ve if I’d had the chance.

    • BloviateMe

      While that sounds noble, I’m guessing it doesn’t get asses in seats. .

      • Skadi

        It would have got mine, but there were schedule conflicts.

      • The Librarian

        Yes, I thought it sounded promising, then worried I was being seduced by argle bargle.

    • Spotts1701

      Okay, can we get that in English please?

      • Skadi

        Theatre used to teach English/History, theatre used for crisis mediation, theatre used to teach life skills, theatre used to give people a voice…

      • The Librarian

        The only thing that comes to mind is learning to use performance pieces that take on social issues.

        • Spotts1701

          Sure…but an entire graduate-level program in it? Seems a bit…hinky.

          • Skadi

            Mmm, the program is actually Educational Theatre, and it mostly trains Theatre, English and Social Studies teachers. Also teaching artists who work for schools and nonprofits and community colleges.

          • Spotts1701

            Ah, okay. Well, whatever floats the boat I suppose.

          • Skadi

            …well, come on, somebody has to direct the high school musicals and attempts at Romeo and Juliet.

          • Vienna Woods

            Hey. I twice successfully directed A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream with high school kids.

          • Vienna Woods

            Yeah, I remember taking my drama teacher courses and being encouraged to bring it into the history classroom! I tried. Some people I guess can do that sort of thing. Not me. Besides, there’s always the kids that don’t want to engage.

      • Crz
    • Sardonicuss

      ….but wouldn’t all those things be “applying” theater to different things?

      • Skadi

        Exactly. It’s about how to use Theatre to teach X.

        • Sardonicuss

          Hmm. I think the administrators need an advanced class called: Applied Language.

          • Skadi

            II feel like “Practical Uses for Theatre” might have been more to the point, but the more artistically minded mind have taken it as a dis.

          • Sardonicuss

            Yep. Real World Applications for Theater. Practical Applications for Theater.

    • SnarkOff

      I got an A in Cultural Policy Jazz Hands, but a C in Public Health My Body is My Instrument. Looking forward to taking Criminal Justice Mime next semester.

    • bubbuhh

      So….mimes pretending to build a housing project

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I love librarians. They always are excellent sources of ‘splainin. My closest pal is a librarian and she can text back an answer to any question faster than I can send the follow-up text saying “Just asking.”

      • The Librarian

        Many thanks!! We love to hear that as we love to find answers! We can be kind of anal about it. :)

    • Reddishrabbit

      And I thought only business consults could talk like that.

      • The Librarian

        Nah, it’s open source.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I’d like some theater applied to my broken toilet because I can’t afford to call a plumber on a holiday weekend.

  • tehbaddr

    I like Chuck Schumer because I like his cousin Amy. She talks about her pussy on tv all the time and is very funny.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That’s a better reason to vote for him than a lot I’ve heard lately!!

  • Ezio

    It’s pretty ironic how whenever you talk about discrimination against different groups of people conservatives brush it aside and say it’s “pulling a card” but yet they’re often the ones who attack people for their background (see: Arkansas state senator attacking Schumer for being Jewish, Trump attacking Liz Warren for being Native etc).

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That’s because they’re children who still think “I know you are, but what am I?” is the all-time greatest comeback in the history of ever.

      • SisterArtemis

        School yard antics pretty much describes the bulk of RWNJ politiking

        • revenant

          especially the bullying. Nelson Muntz is the GOP’s spirit animal

  • SnarkOff

    “He has heard the book deals singing, each to each,” accompanied by that image, is the most brilliant photo caption ever written. Dok, if you die today (god forbid), you can go knowing that you have achieved immortality.

  • One of the things you can say about Schumer is that he definitely tours the state, and prioritizes constituent services. One of the jokes his staff made was that the reason one rural, sparsely county didn’t vote for him one time was that “everyone there has met him.”

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    God Dinesh D’ouchebag is such a whiny little bitch….I love how a guy who was criticized rightly so for racism at Dartmouth and supports a racist shitbag like the Trumpus makes his latest ‘documentary’ about how the Democrats are secretly all racist. Apparently, black people are not smart enough to tell who is racist and who is far less racist….

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Well, I’m a Democrat and I’m secretly racist. I know this because I’ve pointed out other peoples’ racism before, which, under the new rules, makes me the real racist.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Obama is SUCH a racist. The gall to be black and mention race the way he does!?

        • BloviateMe

          It IS outrageous, if you don’t think about it.

        • jmhm

          It has been pointed out to him that he’s not white and he hasn’t done anything about it, which is pretty brazen.

        • A Bashful Nobody

          Bad Obama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Reddishrabbit

        Also in thr civil war the Democratic Party was the party of the South and nothing has changed in 150 years.

    • jmhm

      Yeah, I remember when that Democratic guy who only hooks up with racist blonde ladies followed up the fun ebonics article that made him famous in college with a book about Sambos and field n*rs and mammies, and Andrew “Bell Curve” Sullivan thought it was totally brilliant. Oh wait…

  • Shibusa

    The Shibusas are on Joe and Eileen Bailey’s Christmas card list.

    • bubbuhh

      Do they know Topper and the Kirbys?

      • revenant

        what? another living soul knows from Thorne Smith? Inconceivable!

        • bubbuhh

          Saucy Stories are coming back! I’m downloading Biltmore Oswald as I type.

    • BloviateMe

      There it is. I was wondering what we cause me a sleepless night tonight. That picture fits the bill perfectly.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      I is feeling very uncomfortable looking at this pic.

      • SisterArtemis

        It’s the double image of that panicked doggy face. Surrounding those little mugs with red only deepens the creepitude.

        • A Bashful Nobody

          Yes! Let us celebrate creepitude. Did I just say that?

  • harryeagar

    Applied theater? Applied to what, pray tell?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Those who can’t act, apply theater.

      • BloviateMe

        I hear it prevents chafing.

    • bubbuhh

      • SnarkOff

        Who knew Bernie had such a good figure?

        • bubbuhh

          politics is strange

        • BloviateMe

          I’m starting to see why the Bernie Bros are so dedicated.

        • ken_kukec

          No surprise that Hillz’s got hair on her chest, though. That’s what livin’ with a lifetime of what Bill puts ya through will do.

      • SisterArtemis

        Oh dear god…

      • A Bashful Nobody

        OMG I is having a myocardial infarction.

      • SisterArtemis

        I know that’s supposed to be Hillz, but it reminds me of some actress I can’t name at the moment. or a broader-nosed Nancy Pelosi.

        • BloviateMe

          Oh good, it’s not just me. I thought it was Pelosi at first too.

        • bubbuhh

          I wuz thinkin, mebbe, Elizabeth Warren or, mebbe, both

        • mancityfooty .

          Fiorina, I think.

          • SisterArtemis

            too fleshy!

      • revenant

        there is supposed to be an image here? Chrome (on my desktop) is just showing ellipses

        • bubbuhh

          Try refreshing the browser. If that doesn’t work pause the wibbitz news clip thingie just above Dr. Zoom’s head.. It seems to carry a huge amount of overhead that interferes with disqus.

          If that doesn’t work, Oh,well. Try firefox; but, I don’t think you’ll have any better results. Since wibbitz came back, a number of folks have complained about problems loading pics and videos.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            And the fact that the adware interferes with browser operations is why I use ad block. The ads destroy the experience with their obtrusiveness and shitty code, making it nearly pointless to try to access the content that draws one to the site in the first place. I won’t whitelist shitty code from assholes who obviously don’t give a shit about the user’s experience. Fuck them.

        • revenant

          okay, that worked, thanks, but… ewww

          • mancityfooty .

            yeah, seconded
            ewwwww

    • AntiDerpomeme

      My guess is a gaping head wound.

      • tehbaddr

        Apply directly to forehead!

    • SnarkOff

      Applied liberally, all over, at least 15 minutes before UV exposure, and again after swimming or excessive sweating.

    • Skadi
      • A Bashful Nobody

        Yes, but the girls is very pretty!

        • Skadi

          Yes, we agreed they were a more than adequate substitute!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    TIL there are Real Americans in New York State. Who knew.

    • jmhm

      Most of NYS is a suburb of Idaho. There’s a reason we get stuck with Republicans like Pataki and Andrew Cuomo.

      • revenant

        ever seen “Brother’s Keeper”? my mental image for upstate NY

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yikes.

        • jmhm

          The economy has been ravaged up there for years, and the Republicans in the State Senate have arranged it so that any assistance they do get, they get as a gift from a slush fund the Senators award themselves instead of instead of as no-strings government spending.

          Which they can afford to do, because gerrymandering, and until recently prisoners were counted in the (update) districts they were imprisoned with for apportionment, and the city and its bedroom communities can support not just the entire state but a few others besides. Which situation upstate and Western NY voters think of as people in the city stealing their money, god only knows why.

          • revenant

            because the Republicans and ALL the crypto-Nazi A.M. radio shouters tell them so

  • tehbaddr

    OT So any you Wonkateers going to practice your 2nd amendment rights this 4th and shoot some muslins, gheys, etc for freedumbs and ‘Merika!? I suspect a lot of violence the next few days from the wingnutz.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I have a lot of baking to do, and a little light cleaning, but I may try some second-amendmenting if I can make it fit my schedule.

    • The Wanderer

      I’ll be mowing my lawn and killing some of God’s creatures, then grilling and setting up the firing stand for fireworks. Won’t have time for celebratory gunfire.

      • SisterArtemis

        Eh, the combustion inside the mower should be sufficient.

    • BloviateMe

      I never replaced the guns I lost in a fire, so I’ll have to settle for labeling everything I see as Radical Islamic Terrorism, starting with the dirty dishes.

      • SisterArtemis

        I KNEW IT!!!!! I am going to label the sugar-ant attack currently being waged in my kitchen on an hourly basis (little fuckers!) as an assault on Radical Islamic Terrorism. I will take Pictures. Then I will send them to every GOP nutjob I can think of. It’s going to be really hard to photoshop appropriate headgear onto those tiny ant heads, but I’m willing to do it, For The Cause!

        • revenant

          your idea is creative and adorable, but please don’t pass it on to the Rethugs. All of their solutions would involve explosives, and neither you nor your neighbors would enjoy that

          • SisterArtemis

            Whewww! Thanks for the warning. At least any visiting trolls are unlikely to delve this deep and discover my Plan!

    • SisterArtemis

      Well, it properly speaking, for Independence Day it should be “shoot some Brits” (with sparklers and votes!) but after the last week or two, we should probably just let them alone to cry in their beers….

    • Callyson

      I’ll be busy trying to reassure my dogs that the apocalypse isn’t happening. I fucking hate illegal fireworks with a passion FFS.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        They tend to avoid problems with illegal fireworks here by just going with massive gunfire. My dog loves it.

      • Spotts1701

        Yeah, tonight and tomorrow are going to be fun. Last year someone a couple blocks away set off what sounded like a mortar. Despite the wet winter, the summer has been broiling so the fire danger is set at “OMG BURNINATION!”

        • Longstreet63

          Back in Ye Olden Dayes, the popular wisdom was that it always rained after big battles. Thus during droughts, folks would often fire cannon in hopes of stirring up rain.
          Curiously, after a night of massed fireworks, it has been raining constantly all day.
          Obviously, meteorology is a liberal hoax.

          • SisterArtemis

            Science, how does it even work?

      • SisterArtemis

        I’ve been Without Dog for about 5 years now, but I remember well that look on his face: The world is blowing up, idiot human, why are you just standing there? On the other hand, in the last years of his life, he got rather deaf, and was kind of ho-hum about the whole thing – he’d glance at us for reassurance, and just go to sleep during the festivities.

        My cats act like they could give a fuck. I’m pretty sure it’s a cover for internal hysterics. But they’ll never let on.

      • cynmac

        Somebody lit some off last night and my dog just barked her “Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!” bark. I’m going to the movies tonight with the BF (Tarzan!) and I hope she’ll be okay.

      • mancityfooty .

        It has been wet here, but the sounds of Beirut are coming out.
        As I look at my cricket bat and plead “Purge?”.

      • Jukesgrrl

        My brother had a genius dog who would hide in the bathtub of the bathroom that didn’t have any windows.

        • Callyson

          Brilliant! I’ll try that tomorrow–thanks honey!

      • Jamoche

        I used to take my dog up in the hills (SF Bay Area), where you can see nearly all the fireworks across the bay but can’t hear any of them. Doggy road trip *plus* other people to get skritches from = doggy heaven.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I first felt it last night. This vague neckhair twitch, something off. Then I realized what it was. It was quiet. No booms. No bangs. No rockets. It’s been that way all morning too. Sunday church quiet.

        The reason this bothers me is that I’m completely used to living in a ‘free fire zone’ of heavy artillery for the week before and the week after the 4th.

        It’s weird and quiet and I feel like I should keep an eye out for zombies…

    • malsperanza

      I have a ton of radical Islamic dirty laundry to deal with. I plan to waterboard the bastards.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Apparently, some people jumped the gun on the 4th.

      • mancityfooty .

        Mascara, Mazzanti and Mateen?

    • Jukesgrrl

      I live in Arizona. I lock myself in my house on patriotic holidays. Talk about freedumz …

    • phoenix00

      Trudeau took mine. Sads.

      (or was it Mulroney? Chretien? Maybe Bullwinkle? Memory gets sketchy)

      • Khavrinen

        Sure it wasn’t that guy who draws “Doonesbury”?

        [ Hey, my jokes are NOT “ridiculously outdated”. They’re “vintage”. ]

  • Me not sure

    In solidarity with the politically oppressed D’Souza, I’ve added an apostrophe D to my name.
    From now on I shall be Me D’ Notsure……. Oh, and I’m going to roll up my pants when walking at the neighborhood pond.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      I is not sure I can adjust to this change. I is having a sad.

      • Me not sure

        My God! What have I done?

    • Rick Hill

      I was going to join you but I can’t afford to keep a letter if I do that. I know I wouldn’t want to go with Rick Dill and I don’t think it’s even a word if I did it with my first name…

  • Callyson

    The Gun-grabbing Bolsheviks put on a fantastic show at the Hollywood Bowl last year. Wish they were touring again, but I hear they are focused on getting their second album out soon.

    • The Wanderer

      With their hit song, “Hasta Chekista, Baby?”

  • Rick Hill

    Gaughh…too many words. It’s raining, keep it simple. Hey, a stupid joke! That’s fun!
    I’ll start:
    An old guy, an evangelical, a homophobe, a white supremacist, a climate denier, a Turnip supporter, a libertarian and a mra walk into a bar. Bartender says “Table for one or will you sit at the bar?”

    • jmhm

      and then he saw a woman and ran screaming back to mommy’s basement.

      • Callyson

        Which one of the eight characters are you referring to?

        I know, I know…all of them, Katie.

        • jmhm

          Hey, they’re Trump voters. They GTOW.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Bartender says, “good evening, Mr. Nugent.”

    • mancityfooty .

      I chuckled so upfists for everyone in this thread.

  • Callyson

    [“2016: Obama’s America”] is currently the second-most-popular political documentary in American history behind “Farenheit 9/11″

    That’s what happens when Amazon reviewers leave comments like “Best comedy ever,” “I nearly died laughing,” and “Just thinking about this film makes mr ROTFL!”

  • Kelly Hamilton

    I always confuse Dinesh D’Souza with a breakfast pastry.

    • The Wanderer

      I thought that it might be a type of samosa, but filled with Stupid.

    • Gary Charound

      I dunk mine in hot coffee. He gets so mad.

      • Skadi

        …you don’t drink the coffee afterwards, I hope?

        • Gary Charound

          Nope. Fresh pot every time.

  • Callyson

    In a blue state, I’m counting on Donald Trump

    Yeah, that’ll work…

    https://media.giphy.com/media/rDjmDckFi9n7W/giphy.gif

    • Pickwicknext

      And in a blue state where everyone has already known him for years? That’s dumb, even for a republican

      • jmhm

        Yeah, remember how he totally held Kasich down to a 45-41 lead in Manhattan and 23 of the people who live in Trump Tower voted for him?

  • ken_kukec

    Two wieners, one post — nice work, Dok.

  • Ninja0980

    The only question in this race is whether Wendy will lose by a bigger margin then she did in 2012.

  • Callyson

    This just keeps getting better…

    Trump actually

    emboldened me to jump into the 2016 election to take on Chuck Schumer

    “WTF–if that clown can run for President, I can run for the Senate!”

    http://i.imgur.com/CMn7hAz.gif

    • The Wanderer

      To be painfully honest, I was thinking of running against my Rep, Dennis Ross. He’s a right scumbag. My only handicaps are the inability to lie convincingly and the endemic social disease Lakamunni.

      • SisterArtemis

        It’s not stoppin’ Trump

        • Steely_Fan

          Just the Lakamunni part, right? I mean we can dicker over whether his lies are convincing or not, but he surely has an astonishing ability to lie.

          • SisterArtemis

            Yes, it’s the Lakamunni thing. He’s a flim flam man, shifting shit here there and everywhere, three card montie all the way. Turns out all three are blank on the other side.

          • Longstreet63

            Well, the markings rubbed off, but he remembers where they were…

          • JH Marx

            Just like Big Julie!!!

        • Zhu Bajie

          Not everyone is as skilled a con man as Trump or LaRouche.

      • Smokahontas

        I feel your pain as a fellow Lakamunni sufferer. Thoughts and prayer (can’t afford multiple prayers in this economy).

    • Zhu Bajie

      Any fool can be president. All’s it takes is a rich family with lots of guanxi and a father who used to be president.

  • Blender_415

    Dok, are you really, really thinking about a Pulitzer?

    • doktorzoom

      As Roy Blount Jr says, I’m far more likely to get a Pullet Surprise. If I’m really lucky, it’ll come with a couple of side dishes.

      • Rufus T. Firefly

        If you’re unlucky, it will be a rubber chicken.

        • revenant

          shhh… that’s the “Surprise”

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Better to fuck a chicken than pullet.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        Maybe I’m just having a Monday morning nit-pickiness attack, but wouldn’t that inauguration have taken place in 2013? After the 2012 election?

        But considering some of the sentence fragments in every issue of the SF Chronicle, this could still be Pulitzer material. And of course, you get garlic mashed potatoes with your Pullet.

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      There oughta be a category for Best Snark.

  • BloviateMe

    LOL, Neil updated his faceplace pic to this:

    • SisterArtemis

      Dude!

      I could have the biggest crush on this guy, and I likes gurlz!

      • BloviateMe

        I’m a straight guy, and I have a crush on him.

        • Gregory Brown

          He’s bromantical.

  • bubbuhh

    Fox News Uncovers French Plot To Corrupt Merrikans

    http://crooksandliars.com/2016/07/fox-news-suggests-france-pulled-fast-one

  • ken_kukec

    Danesh D’Souza, the Papillon of New York halfway houses.

    Can’t wait for his contribution to penal memoir lit. — “The Community Confinement Center Archipelago.” Probably made the poor bastard listen to an unending loop of Chomsky podcasts.

  • malsperanza

    I enjoy living in a state that the Republicans have completely given up on.*

    Schumer would be considered a straight-up liberal if not for his Israel crap. On foreign affairs he is not so hawkish as all that. And on Wall Street … well, they live in his state. It’s like the liberal Congress members from Hollywood who are rightwing assholes when it comes to copyright law.

    Happy to keep voting for Chuck. Hope he’ll be majority leader. The GOPs will hate that. They think he’s the Jooish Teddy Kennedy.


    *Well except in the state lege but that’s a separate story.

    • Longstreet63

      Well, I hope he does wash that Majority leader gavel. I get a strange vibe from Mitch McConnell that puts me in mind of urban legends about toothbrushes in hotel rooms…

  • Dinesh should have paid more attention in geography class.

    Everyone know that the Gulag Archipelago is nowhere near La Jolla.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s up the coast around Fort Ross.

      • mancityfooty .

        It’s within sight of Black’s Beach

  • 3FingerPete

    Another election is on the horizon. That means it is Dinesh D’Souza documentary season! Bring the family and absorb all the insight into the Democrat Party Dinesh gathered while doing hard time in prison lite.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7e6gLht6OQ

    • Longstreet63

      I don’t know what damage is left to do after Obama destroyed the country in the last movie of his. Do you think it’s a direct sequel?

  • TeeRaak

    Wendy’s Indian name is “Takes Long Walks on Short Pier”…
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/zNY6rO9VkJfby/200w_d.gif

  • Villago Delenda Est

    There have been numerous Senators, past and present, who were dangerous to be in between the Senator and a camera. Phil Gramm comes to mind, but I’ve got to admit that Schumer’s mugging behind Malia and Sasha is pretty egregious.

    Schumer does have one actual good point in his favor, he worked pretty hard to get Jeff Merkley into the Senate back in 2008, which he probably now regrets.

    • SisterArtemis

      My Senator :)

    • jmhm

      Besides, it pulls focus away from the marvelous look of total despair on Boehner’s face.

  • AnOuthouse

    I love the giant puppets. Unfortunately I just sent in my voter registration switching from Green to Democratic. Now I can sign my friends’ petitions. Greens never win around here any way.

    • SisterArtemis

      Aim for the local seats and build your way up. Until the strength is solid at the base, better to keep Dems in the DC positions.

    • david green

      Do Greens win anywhere?

  • thenearesthippie

    “He has heard the book deals singing, each to each.”

    Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha OUCH I think I pulled something hahahahahaha!!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Robin Laverne Wilson’s makes it seem like her parents should’ve been the ones to run for office and she should’ve been their Ron Reagan Jr. But changing the world through theater is an excellent career path for people who prefer obscurity.

    • jmhm

      She seems like a perfectly nice lady, but she might want to get out and meet some folks where she’s anchored if she thinks 13 years in Jersey is migrating to ‘the NY Metro area’ (which is not actually a thing).

    • Gregory Brown

      And interpretive dance!

      • Smokahontas

        …For the blind…

      • Jo Mathie

        Puppet theater?

  • Odd Jørgensen

    Gov LePage being his usual assholy cockwomble. 90k acres of free land as a gift? Not if he can`t fuck it over with mining and logging, no thankee sir! Did I mention it comes with a grant of $40 Million for upkeep as a national monument? http://crooksandliars.com/2016/07/mormon-bundy-loyalist-against-land-gift

    • Longstreet63

      Forget it, Jake. It’s Maine.

    • yyyaz

      Rob Bishop (R-Utah/LDS/Tea Party/Koch/2nd &10th Amendments/Fuck Wilderness and Everyone Who Wants It) is Chairman of the House Committee on National Resources. How nice for us.
      Edit: Bishop is blocking the transfer from the late Burt Quimby’s (Burt’s Bees products) family to the state of Maine on condition it be granted National Monument status. Bishop, as noted in his political affiliations above, is no Stewart Udall.

  • Bill Slider

    Chuck Schemer is to the Democratic party, what Donald Trump is to the Republican party, not a strong leader, and rather toxic, and at all magnetic. That said, it might be fun to watch if he becomes the Senate Majority Leader and Trump manages to win the Presidency, thanks in no small part to Bill Clinton visiting with the AG. Arkansas brains just are not the same as other brains.

    • jmhm

      I, see your, point, their Bill except for, the part where that’s, not the Senator’s, name.

      • Longstreet63

        Yes, it’s a curious oversight, there. It detracts, from his, clearly well-thought out, and incisive, comment.

        • sosuume

          He up-votes his own comments, too.

          • mancityfooty .

            ewwwwww

          • cynmac

            I smell troll.

          • bobbert

            Bill is kind of a regular here, on the left side. Not a troll.

            FWIW, I thought “Chuck Schemer” was pretty clever, but I am easily amused.

          • jmhm

            I know. It just seemed like an awful stretch to try to link the random Clinton bash to anything that was going on here.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Agreed, non-troll. Big into Bernie tho, not a Clinton fan.

    • Gregory Brown

      Bill’s name reminds me of those greasy little steamed White Castle burgers.

  • Run2Live

    Wendy Long vs. Chuck Schumer latest polling from Siena, June 30th:
    Schumer 66, Long 23 (Schumer, +43)

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Even I have to admit, those are some Long odds.”
      — Dinesh D’Souza

    • phoenix00

      “You mean Bernie’s got this!”

    • DaveM

      It looks like her poll numbers match her IQ.

  • Zhu Bajie

    Is D’Souza out of jail yet?

  • AnOuthouse

    I thought Dinesh went to jail for adultery or don’t we do that anymore?

  • phoenix00
  • phoenix00

    Electing Chuck Schumer WITH VOTES is all well and good, but DO NOT. GET. HIM. ANYWHERE NEAR. A. DINER.
    http://www.eater.com/2015/7/23/9020541/jon-stewart-mock-chuck-schumers-diners-grits

  • Shucky Ducky

    Work of art. Do Zoom created a work of art.

  • Poe’s Law

    I got as far as

    “all you Wonkers who are inexplicably not off doing three-day weekend things.” [Emphasis added]

    Inexplicable, indeed. I’m working yesterday, today and tomorrow because in America shopping is the way we celebrate everything and never mind what it does to the peons who have to mind the store.

    When’s Wonkette going to go on about that, eh?

    • OneDemin EOr

      Yes, I worked retail many years. I feel ya, man.
      Amazon Prime is my BFF. (be careful what you wish for)

      • Poe’s Law

        You know how Amazon treats its workers, right?

        • OneDemin EOr

          Yes.
          It’s either that or drive 300 miles.

    • WomanInAMood

      Testify, sibling! I just got home from work myself.

      • Poe’s Law

        Oh, ouch. I hope you get a few hours rest tonight!

        I will testify relentlessly.

        America needs to wake up to the evil it is doing to its working folk by promulgating a shop all the time mentality.

    • nmmagyar

      I, also too, am working all three days of this celebration of our independence. But I work in a shop in a tourist area, so it makes sense (and the owners are in Colorado).

  • Smokahontas

    THIS is the real “feel good” story! I’m all for that nice refugee who found love and acceptance in Boise, but we all saw that coming. Now, a candidate with $122 in the bank and another who’s pursuing a degree even more useless than mine (what the fuck is Applied Theater? !?!11!)…this makes me feel good! Thanks wonkette!

    • Mr. Fusion

      Applied theater is something that will stick to you for life.

  • arundel

    (oh hush. We know where Yankee Stadium is, but there was no Battle of the Bronx).

    I say AHEM, good sir!! :

    “The Battle of Pell’s Point (October 18, 1776), also known as the Battle of Pelham, was a skirmish fought between British and American troops during the New York and New Jersey campaign of the American Revolutionary War. The conflict took place in what is now part of Pelham Bay Park in the Bronx, New York City.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Pell%27s_Point

    I know this because I grew up right by the park; there’s a monument of piled boulders with a plaque that we climbed on as kids. And for the 1976 Bicentennial there was a re-enactment of the battle, which was exciting for a 7 year old. :)

    • jmhm

      and dinner on City Island, which is pretty much Martha’s Vineyard for people who aren’t in the Social Register.

  • Allen Jordan

    Actually, in the picture with Chuck grinning, the look on John Boehner’s face is priceless. It looks like he’s going to break down and cry right there.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Out here in BFE, we are so blessed with votes as to have a very votey chapter of the Oaf Keepers. The blessed voters meet every month and seeing the notice in the paper makes me feel very Constutional, indeed.

    • SadDemInTex

      I found parts of Oregon kinda shooty. Very disturbing…then later moved to Texas…now I know what shooty really can be.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Not all that thrilled with Charles Schumer (D, Wall Street), but Gillibrand is great.

    • jmhm

      Charlie fought the good fight for a lot of years. He just didn’t see his time slip by.

      I like Gillibrand too. I’m glad she’s getting some recognition. The whole Bloomberg-funded Moynihan revenants for Caroline Kennedy thing got pretty ugly there for a while.

  • kimberlyrsingley

    <<u.
    ✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:✸✸✸✸✸:::::::!bk1104er:….,.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    I wonder if they call him an Uncle Toshan in India?

  • Lazy Media

    OT, but when I want to improve my mood, I look at FiveThirtyEight’s presidential election odds tracker, and compare it to 2012. Hillary currently at 79 percent; Obama was at 68 percent at this point four years ago.

  • Serolf Divad

    That picture of Schumer behind the Obama girls is priceless… as soon as your eyes wander up and to the left and spot a sullen John Boehner you start looking around the room for someone you can high five.

  • Great Bear

    So, what exactly does Wendy Long do for a living where she isn’t perpetually running for office?

    • Alan

      The photo above screams attorney.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Someone needs to tell Dinesh Drumpf will have him deported if he wins because of, you know, swarthiness and whatnot.

  • Zyxomma

    I knew Gillibrand, my junior Senator, had joined the sit-in (she tweeted that she’d brought the Chobani, since unlike Potatriots occupying federal wildlife sanctuaries, Democrats bring snacks), but I didn’t know Schumer was there, too. Sometimes to get the whole picture, one needs Wonkette.

  • djpunjab

    superb post thanks for sharing this.
    djpunjab
    ipendu

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