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Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.
questions is TOO HARD

Let’s watch a possibly drunk Sarah Palin (you never know) mortify her ancestors in Heaven by royally fucking up the answer to a question from God Katie Couric a small child who speaks in complete sentences, at Politicon in Los Angeles on Sunday:

 

Did you catch that? The child, who is reportedly 10 years old, asked Mama Grifts-A-Lot, “How come you’re endorsing Donald Trump after he said to Megyn Kelly, quote, ‘You’ve got some blood … ‘ How can you endorse someone who’s sexist?” The audio trails off in places, because everybody is cheering and remembering the Bible verse that says, “And a little child shall lead them.”

Sarah’s reply? “Donald Trump isn’t sexist. If he were, I wouldn’t be endorsin’ him!” No explanation, no long word salad of dumbfuckery to even attempt to explain to a small child why a human American woman would endorse somebody who accused Megyn Kelly of being on her menstruals because she quoted his past statements about how women are fat pigs verbatim.

Sarah, having that Alaskan Moose Matriarch intuition, probably assumed the little tyke was a plant. And maybe he was! Maybe the kid’s libtard nana was like, “I will take you for ice cream and let you stay up past bedtime if you will ask Empress Snow Lumps this hilarious question.” OR MAYBE HE WAS JUST A CURIOUS KID WHO WATCHES TV OCCASIONALLY. From the video, he sure does seem smart! And it was a good question.

Now, far be it from us to tell Sarah how to talk to America’s precious children, but we feel like she could have taken the boy’s hand and said something like this:

Well dontcha know and you betcha, sometimes when a Wasilla redneck boy and the governor’s daughter get frisky in their snowsuits up there in Alaska, they rub their down theres together and out pops a baby gift from the Lord, and we shall name it “Toaster.”

Wait, our bad! That is the sex coitus talk Sarah STILL hasn’t had with her daughter Bristol. Let’s try again:

Well, and that’s just, you know, when the lamestream media says, and I’ll bet, I will BET YOU that there are a lot of Mama Grizzlies out there, all of ’em Katie, who would much rather have Donald Trump, whereas, also too, than all the establishment and Hillary Clinton in the “good old boys club,” and we’re gonna send a message to Washington, you just wait and see, now if you’ll excuse me I need to go find something to quit halfway through … [slurps from Big Gulp full of vodka, Diet Mountain Dew and uppers, allegedly]

No, it wouldn’t have been an acceptable answer and the child would have spent the rest of the day making fun of the ding-dong crazy idiot lady, but at least we could say she TRIED.

But she didn’t. On top of all her other sins, Sarah Palin is an asshole who runs away from legitimately good questions, ASKED BY KIDS.

[Mediaite]

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  • Aquaria

    She can’t even bother to try. I think she’s putting Valium in her moose gin these days.

    • Thaumaturgist

      OTOH, Sarsh had sufficient insight not to try.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Trump insults all of them, Katie.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Even little kids see what’s going on, but Sarah, being the ditz of ditzes, cannot.

    • Thaumaturgist

      The Mother of all Ditzes. FIFY.

    • Longstreet63

      The empress has no brains…

      “But she’s an obvious moron,” a little child said.

      “Did you ever hear such innocent prattle?” said its father. And one person whispered to another what the child had said, “Shes an obvious moron. A child says she hasn’t any brains.”

  • Daisy

    Oh, this is the highlight of my day! God knows it isn’t my former high school district allowing Concealed Carry on campus.

    Also, I want to buy that kid ice cream.

  • Lizzietish81

    “Well maybe you should be thanking your mama she didn’t abort you!”

    I know, too coherent.

  • XYZ

    McCain KNEW torture, yet he unleashed this she-beast on us.. After she serves time ,for her ongoing torture and attempted murder of the English language. she should be on strict probation. no road trips. no TV shows, mandatory ESL tutoring while confined to home, forced to live with strangers and trying to learn all their names (Trap, Trick, Brexit, etc.).

    This person has done much to bring about the crazy political landscape we see today with all the rudeness, lies and inflammatory statements as the whole process becomes just another reality show, but, hey, ratings are through the roof. She championed stupidity as a desirable trait and railed against intelligent and educated people saying they were all high-falutin’ elitists. She will be most remembered for turning America into a place where being a dullard has become a national trend – AND it won’t stop you from becoming a judge… ‘Murica…hell, yeah!

    • CJTX

      “she should be on strict probation. no road trips. no TV shows, mandatory ESL tutoring while confined to home, forced to live with strangers and trying to learn all their names”

      You can’t teach a dumb dog new tricks.

      (And no, that’s not a sexist ‘bitch’ joke…Some dogs are just dumb, y’all.)

    • SpideySenser

      I do think she is the culmination of how horrid our politi-scape has become; but it goes way back before she became a “thing”. There used to be a subject called civics taught in school, people now don’t even know how their government works – especially the congresscritters. And then there’s the home-schooled. Its one thing to have your father, if he is Mark Twain/Samuel Clemmons, home school you. It is quite another if your parents think the bible is real and use that as the one and only text book. Also, too, there’s allot of blame to throw at our consumer, must-have, shallow fake reality TV culture. And all the lies advertisers push to sell their products.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      Exactly. And it bears repeating, “Fuck you Walnuts!”

  • Oblios_Cap

    “Because I said so” would have been a better answer.

  • Sardonicuss

    You know in all the years you guys have used that picture, every time I saw it I thought:
    Sarah Palin is morphing into Roseanne Barr….
    and now Rosanne is supporting…Donald Trump?
    The prophecy was true.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, Rosanne’s tendency to teh stoopid has fully manifested.

      • BosGrl

        Dan would totally have supported Trump and brainwashed DJ too. Darlene probably lives in NY now.

  • Nounverb911

    Someone should really tell Sarah the facts of life one of these years….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Perhaps she can pass them on to Brizdull?

    • Okely D’Oprah

      Sarah doesn’t do facts

  • limberrat

    Stop providing Sarah with reasonable questions!

  • Oblios_Cap


    they rub their down theres together and out pops a baby gift from the Lord, and we shall name it “Toaster.”

    Pops out! Toaster! Great turn of a phrase there, Evan.

  • Spotts1701

    Sarah’s reply? “Donald Trump isn’t sexist. If he were, I wouldn’t be endorsin’ him!”

    Right, because your judgment is so unimpeachable.

    • Longstreet63

      Whaddaya expect her to do? Say she goes where the money is and Trumpies are the easiest marks going?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is the woman, after all, who claimed a report that started with “She violated the law” totally exonerated her.

  • Nounverb911

    http://www.bartcop.com/Palin-wiggling-ani.gif

    When does her head fall off?

    • CJTX

      Lol – That’s me after too much caffeine!

      Except I”m not a woman…and I hate fucking guns…and I’d never wear that shade of green.

      • RoyalUglyDude

        Try some herbal tea, Tweak.

        • CJTX

          Lol, I forgot about my avatar, but yeah! I’ve been doing better about limiting my intake, the anxiety disorder and lake of sleep doesn’t help either.

          I can’t dig tea, I just really like coffee but it’s awful for my stomach and brain. I seem to like the darker teas better (sugar, sans milk), an earl grey-type maybe, but I haven’t like shopped around and tried different things.

          • RoyalUglyDude

            All the kids recommend adderall and red bull. Well, maybe just the ones on the honor roll…

          • CJTX

            Lol….no no no no. I was on adderall for awhile as a way to combat my depression cause adderall is a stimulant amphetamine (which made for an interesting stop at a border patrol checkpoint, but that’s another story). So yeah, I got out of bed in the morning, but I didn’t get back in bed for 2 days at a crack. Needless to say, I don’t have that prescription anymore.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Barry’s Irish Breakfast tea (online if you can’t find it in stores). The only tea you will ever want once you try it.

          • CJTX

            Bookmarked! Or you know written down…thanks. I REALLY should switch to tea.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            It’s incredibly good but also remarkably potent–I can’t get near the same flavor (or kick) from using 2 or 3 bags of anything else.

          • CJTX

            Perfect! Thank you again…I am going to see if I can get my hands on some.

          • You might enjoy Lady Grey, it’s a little cirtrusier (not a word, I know) than Earl Grey.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Must have been the annual Wasilla Easter Hunt.

    • BEST. GIF. EVAR.

    • mark99k

      Hourly. Nobody notices.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Sarah should not try to match wits with small children. It’s always going to be an unfair fight.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Is our Sarah learnin’?

  • Ezio

    If anything, this just serves as further proof that even kids have more common sense and intellect than Sarah Palin and Donald Trump.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    “Yeah, well, that’s just like your opinion, man.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Needs more commas.

  • Ima Witstüp

    When I got to “Empress Snow Lumps” I had to scroll back to the top of the article–this must be one of Evan Hurst’s, right? Yep.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Now she knows what it’s like to get your head cut off as entertainment.

    http://sisu.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/11/22/sarah_turkey.jpg

    • cousin itt

      I will always up fist this video or any mention of it.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      And, in the background, Trump slides in head first. Always a bigly winner.

  • AnOuthouse

    Circular reasoning is still reasoning. Maybe she’s on the wagon.

    • Okely D’Oprah

      She’s on something.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The scales have fallen from my eyes.

    “No, the garbage can isn’t full. If it was, I would have taken it out.”
    “Of course my client isn’t guilty. If he was, I wouldn’t be representing him.”
    “No, that’s not a counterfeit $70 bill. If it was, I wouldn’t be giving it to you.”

    • clubseal

      “Of course a large portion of America isn’t smart. Otherwise I wouldn’t be grifting them.”

  • Rick Hill

    Oh, look. You people are so eager to attack such a wonderful woman you are hiding behind the short pants of little kids. Way to go, Libtards. Do you feel good about yourselves yet?

    • proudgrampa

      Not only good about myself, but hopeful. Also, too.

    • Longstreet63

      Three cheers for us!
      Huzzah!

    • Yup

    • Skadi

      …was that a rhetorical question?

    • Hemp Dogbane

      It’s more like she mocks herself and people watch, but eventually move along hoping never to see that again, as if it had been a car accident.

  • Jeff in the desert

    Listen you libtards….stopping trashing my girl there Sarah. She’s pretty, smart and knows her politics. Donald is the best for this country because he is takin’ no doo doo from them bastard terrorist mooslums. You Godless folk can’t see the forest for the bushes (haha, little joke there). When he picks her fer VP, (she’s the best you betcha) they will mow down all the left eing extremists and take back ‘Mercia. God gave me guns and I is keepin’ ’em. And stop callin’ my girl a slut hole. What does that mean anyway? Y’all just jealous ’cause she got that hunk and babied with him. Gotta go now, sun is comin’ up and I see Russia so gotta go practice my fureign relations when Donald if he don’t pick me VP makes me Secretary of State. I was a secretary once, so I am totally qualified. I amke good hobo coffee, too.

    • Rick Hill

      Turnip just might pick her for VP…ironically, of course, for the hipster vote.

  • Callyson

    The child, who is reportedly 10 years old, asked Mama Grifts-A-Lot, “How come you’re endorsing Donald Trump after he said to Megyn Kelly, quote, ‘You’ve got some blood … ‘ How can you endorse someone who’s sexist?”

    Snark off…my hope for the future is officially restored. Thanks kid!

    • Longstreet63

      Can we arrange for her adoption by someone who doesn’t take her to Sarah Palin appearances?

      • I know, right??? I was wondering what this kid was doing there in the first place.

        • Jeff in the desert

          Maaaaybe it was her parent showing the kid first hand how foul and stupid she is.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            Mom, what’s an “opportunistic skankbeast?” I read about it online. Can we go see one!?

        • BrianW

          I was wondering that too, but I bet it NEVER happens again. Talk about parental embarrassment (and everyone here’s enjoyment).

  • Incoming Ham

    Out of the mouths of babes into Grifterella’s ears of corn.

  • OneYieldRegular

    The Revenant II: Inarticulate Grizzly Boogaloo.

  • Greg Comlish

    Almost all the media attention Sarah gets nowadays is when she says something outrageous or incredibly stupid. The only reason that the “lamestream” media pays any attention to her whatsoever is that she’s the train that never stops wrecking.

    • HazooToo

      It’s like an unofficial Dear Shit Fer Brainz post, every time she, or her daughter, open their mouths.

  • RUexperienced

    LOL

    She got owned by a little kid.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    I wonder how much the GOP-Koch-Petro-Industrial-Wall Street Complex would pay her just to shut her pie hole from now til November.

    • Doug Langley

      Probably won’t have anything left after paying Trump.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    That kid had better look out, little Snowmobile Palin is a fighter and a biter….trained on the mean streets of Wasilla and on the toughest lawn brawls in the state,

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    It’s no surprise, really….Sarah routinely loses at checkers to a chicken.

    • Sardonicuss

      A squirrel won her house in a 3 card monte game.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      even Mike

      • therblig

        well, he did have the advantage of not having to worry about his hairdo.

  • tinker12

    Oh please, oh please pick $arah for veep. She’s got ‘xperience at that dontcha know.

    • Hutch

      …thus spake every comedian in the universe.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The one thing that might draw Jon Stewart back onto the stage.

        • Longstreet63

          I don’t think so. He’s too busy building a rocket to launch his infant son into outer space…

          • Lamashtar

            He’s building an ark on that farm for rescue animals. His neighbors are a little suspicious.

      • clubseal

        Martian comic libels.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not going to happen. Teh Donald cannot stand having anyone who might compete with him for the spotlight on a stage with him. This is why even Newt is questionable.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      She word salads at a higher level and would therefore overshadow the Trumpus. Request denied.

      • tinker12

        A grrrl can dream.

        • Longstreet63

          As long as we’re dreaming, imagine how hilarious would be C-Span if she actually tried to preside over the Senate…

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Katie’s “all of them” moment was perhaps one of the most powerful live journalistic political take-downs/collapses ever. “I’m not a crook” and “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” were mere context or color to broader messes. The on-going Palin train wreck is the gift that keeps on giving.

    I just hope that Donald can hold it together long enough to actually get the Republican nomination.

  • Pickwicknext

    I thought we agreed to ignore her until she went away

    • TJ Barke

      But it’s so fun to point and laugh at her…

    • Doug Langley

      But she hasn’t gone away yet.

  • Hutch

    *BLECH* “Donald Trump isn’t sexist.” *URP* “If he were, I wouldn’t be endorsin’ him!” *BURRRRP*

  • Scooby

    In Palins defense I do believe she didn’t know the difference between sexist and sexy.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And just when I thought Sarah Palin was completely incapable of learning, she tries on a new logical fallacy. Boy do I have egg on my face.

    • Hutch

      Her syllogism there is lacking a middle term. Um, good job!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Weellll, of course she had to answer that way. Like McTurtle, asked flatly if he thinks Trumplethinskin is qualified to be president, she can’t answer honestly, and for the same two reasons: neither of them know how to tell the truth, and telling it would require them to put ‘good of country’ ahead of ‘my needs.’

    • The Witch of Endor

      It would also require that both of them understand basic civics.

  • Msmlg1979

    Someone should answer the kid’s question.

    Kid, Sarah Palin doesn’t care about anyone or anything but herself. Period. Just being a woman doesn’t make her a feminist, or make her care about the world she has to live in as a woman, or even the world her daughters or granddaughters live in as females. Some people are truly only out for themselves, and one of those people is Sarah Palin. Donald Trump could say he wants to chop Megyn Kelly up into little pieces, and Sarah would find a way to shrug it off, as long as it keeps her feeling relevant and able to grift. Some people suck, kid.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      She adds to her special form of reactionary narcissism a unique anti-rationality that can manifest itself in her famed word salads of big-sounding words she’s heard of or in a cryptic snort, as in this case. In both versions she’s unable to see that she’s not actually articulated a meaningful response.

  • Randy Riddle

    I can see the butthurt from my house.

  • Scott Myers

    Great picture, by the way.

    • Mpeg

      I used to feel that image stills of ppl caught in a silly expression were low-hanging fruit.. It could be used against anyone whether they deserved it or not. Wonkette however has cured me of my unseemly bias. The photos used here get me almost every time.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Sarah Palin. As photographers say the g(r)ift that keeps on giving.

      • Vienna Woods

        The gallery of shots from the Fartknocker Report were a delight.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    How many of her wigs is she wearing in that photo? I think we all know the answer to that. . .

    • Skadi

      All together, now: “AOT,K!”

  • Mpeg

    not drunk enough

    What might be Sarah’s favorite mixed drink?

    • Nyquil and a 40

    • Hutch

      Were I her bartender, I’d offer something with a shitload of absinthe. Just shoot the moon.

      • Longstreet63

        Absinthe, having been legalized, no longer has its traditional effect, the wormwood having been toned down.
        It’s reasonably tasty, but straight, it runs about 120 proof.
        So that could still work.

        • Hutch

          The Green Fairy agrees!

    • doggiedaddy

      Everything.
      But only if someone else if buying,

      • JesusWasAHippie

        “All of ’em, Katie!”

    • Doug Langley

      I’ll take a stab at some combo of floor cleaner and weedkiller.

    • borninatrailer

      Is “Sex on the Tundra” a drink?

      No? I guess we can just go with a “Polar Bear.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Polar bare

      • therblig

        Copter Shots

    • Longstreet63

      Miscegenation and coke?

    • eggsacklywright

      Pure LSD-25.

      • The Witch of Endor

        Do NOT waste good drugs on that wench! On second thought, it might work for her intellect the way Ritalin works for ADHD.

    • therblig

      Absinthe and Acetone. It’s called an “Abstinence Only” and guarantees a blessed event in 9 months.

      • Longstreet63

        I thought they called that a Silver Lining.

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      Moosehead and a beer?

      • therblig

        or mouthwash

      • bobbert

        wtdt,isi

    • The Witch of Endor

      Mad Dog 20/20 & Boone’s Farm cooler.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Trump Ice and Arizona Blue

    • NellCote71

      What goes best with meth?

    • Blank Ron

      Alaskan Polar Bear Heater.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      A Dairy Queen Xanax blizzard?

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I always refer to Palin as Caribou Barbie, I decided thats unfair to Barbie whos done more than Palin

    • Blank Ron

      Definitely a better role model for girls.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I prefer Tundra Twat but that’s an insult to twats everywhere.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Oh my goodness gracious, young man. Don’t get SMART!

  • Half-Evil D

    Has anyone who has spoken to Sarah “The Bore of Babble-On” Palin ever walked away without feeling dumber due to the experience?

    • BigHorn

      Probably Todd.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or Barstool

  • Kirk V

    That’s not Palin’s best photo. Did you do that on purpose?

    • Sardonicuss

      I think it reveals the inner “Sarah”.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Probably a better question: Did she do that face on purpose?

    • Doug Langley

      Hate to break it to you, but nowadays that IS one of her best photos.

      • Kirk V

        Well then, she’s lost my support.

        Trump 2016! (for the wife)

  • Turkish71

    Hey kid with the question for GriftyMoose…

  • jmhm

    and, a cheery little wOOt: in the wake of Orlando, Clinton is 11 points ahead on which one is best able to handle terrorism.

  • chascates

    I can’t wait for her ‘Here come da judge’ show. Well, I can but I just want to have so much comedy crammed into such a short amount of time.

  • Vodka is a food group

    When will the media learn…..NEVER feed the trolls

  • dshwa

    He was probably a plant. But it’s still a better question than our media usually asks

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Most plants could outwit Palin. I believe that rhododendrons can be very smart.

      • Blank Ron

        Things that are smarter than Sarah Palin.
        Number one: the larch. The larch.

  • starfanglednut

    This kinda reminds me of when she said something along the lines of (too lazy to google) “If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?” There’s some similar logical fallacy at play that one of you logicians might be able to name.

    • elysia chlorotica

      Um… early-onset dementia, perhaps? Nothing she says has any relationship with logic.

  • anna rampage

    I’m looking forward to the day when Mama Gristly is relegated to selling high interest reverse mortgages on late late night infomercials….

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Isn’t that basically what she’s been doing?

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Yah. I think I just saw her ears perk up from my house.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Slinging drinks at a truck stop strip club

      • The Witch of Endor

        If she got to handle money I sure as shit wouldn’t hire her.

      • Longstreet63

        Dancing would be too much work, but probably more lucrative…one of those clubs that cater to truckers and bikers.
        Maybe in Mexico…

      • tehbaddr

        Why bother with a legitimate front, she’d be a lot lizard.

  • therblig

    OT, unless the topic is idiots, but clueless “Clueless” “actress” stacey dash has launched a website aimed at returning america and hollywood to its reagan era “greatness”. and maybe sell some books.

    http://dashamerica.com/

    dash america’s brains out, perhaps?

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      who?

    • The Witch of Endor

      She’s got the fucking NERVE to talk about feminism and unity with a fucking silhouette of Barbie and 2 rifles crossed like the fucking civil war battle flag?

      • therblig

        yeah, i was going to swipe that and post it, but wanted others to have the pleasure of discovering it for themselves. also, did you know that empowered women don’t have to wear frumpy clothes? stacey is a revelation. much like 666.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Thank you for the gift. I think I’ve actually surpassed my record of using fuck in a sentence with that one.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Stacey stopped being relevant about a minute after Clueless left the theaters. I wish I had the stomach for finding a gif of her and her ridiculous wardrobe from that movie.

          • Longstreet63

            Presumably her view of the time America Was Great Before happens to coincidentally be When Stacey Dash Had A Career.

          • Msgr_Moment

            “Clueless” would be a great name for a show that she could host on Fawkes Snooze.

        • Vienna Woods

          Oh my god, this is hi-larous:
          “Stacey Dash is leading Dash America with all the vigor, talent, and conviction that has made her one of America’s most popular actresses. Her acclaimed appearances in Clueless, Mo’ Money, Renaissance Man, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, and Celebrity Circus are matched only by her insightful political and cultural commentary on Fox News’ Outnumbered.”

          • revenant

            “Celebrity Circus” and “insightful political and cultural commentary” do not go together all that well, mmkay?

          • BigBoppa

            But “Celebrity Circus”, “insightful political and cultural commentary [propaganda]” AND “Fox News’ Outnumbered” works nicely.

          • BigBoppa

            I am proud to say that I have never seen any of those movies/shows listed above and had to ask Mr. Google to show me a photo of this Dash character to see if I even had a clue as to who she is. I don’t.

          • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

            Most popular actresses? Is every day opposite day for that woman?

          • Jukesgrrl

            CSI? Did she play the corpse or the cocktail waitress who is really a cross-dressing zombie killer?

          • Blank Ron

            My BFF and I love going to thrift stores and leafing through the ancient unwanted vinyl. Most of it is dull, dull, dull, but now and again we find an album with exceptionally bad art, unflattering band/group photos and a general air of never having been listened to. Sometimes they’re still sealed.
            And the blurb about the performers always reads EXACTLY like Ms Dash’s self-congratulatory bio there.

          • Msgr_Moment

            Matched, but never exceeded.

        • Vienna Woods

          For fuck’s sake.
          “Reagan’s Hollywood was a pro-American Hollywood, and its movies made us proud and boosted our spirit. Let’s get all that back!”
          Yes, do, let’s get back the good old days when Reagan was portrayed as brave soldier serving his country- on a movie set a few miles from home and family, in no danger whatsoever.

          • revenant

            or tattling on his co-workers to HUAC. what a hero

          • Objectifer

            Some of my favorite movies were made during the Reagan years. Angel Heart, Videodrome, Blue Velvet….

          • Jukesgrrl

            Does she mean like Bedtime for Bonzo?

    • Doug Langley

      Yes, I’m really eager to have the co-star of Sharknado 4 lecture me on political science.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    When choosing a running mate, she said this weekend, “I would tell him to find someone who understands who the boss will be, someone who is not running too, someone who he could serve with who he wouldn’t need a taste test, a food taste-tester around him, you know? You know what I mean?”

    No Sarah, we have no idea what you mean…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      There is a bit of wisdom in Trump selecting a VP who doesn’t clearly want to murder him in his sleep…

      Which could shorten the list of candidates…

      • Blank Ron

        Betcha a cookie even his kids would be disqualified, for that exact reason.

    • Longstreet63

      Is she suggesting VPs commonly assassinate Presidents to get ahead?
      She really is from the Mirror Universe, isn’t she?

      • HazooToo

        “Me am know what you talk about! Me always assassinate President and never respect him!” – Bizzaro V.P. Hraras Nilap.

        • I’m having a great deal of difficulty determining which one one is Bizzaro VP… AOTK?

          • HazooToo

            Basically pick any Republican Congressman

      • Doug Langley

        And just where was Georgie when Reagan got shot? HMMMMMMM?????

    • The Witch of Endor

      Christ on the cross, she can’t even get “food taster” right. smh

    • Iam Reading

      So, not Sarah Palin

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I read this several times today and I still don’t have a fucking clue what she meant.

    • Sakonyachen

      Sarah! How can we know what you mean if you don’t know?

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Well, the kid has been born for several years. It’s not like he deserves any respect or attention at this stage.

    • efoveks

      It used to be about being from the wrong side of the tracks. Now it’s about being on the wrong end of the vagina tunnel.

    • Be Gin

      But Sarah could play the fetus card herself, right?

  • Biff52

    Famous stupid people didn’t used to be a thing. Stop it.

    • SnarkTank

      Zsa Zsa Gabor Jessica Simpson libulz!

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Chicken of the Sea is tuna?!?!?! WTF?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It used to be that famous stupid people got to be famously stupid just the one time, then they were just on the long painfully-slow slide into obscurity. Palin has kinda perfected the on-going famous stupid political person thing. That used to be just athletes or actors who were way more successful at their day job than at not being stupid with their mouths.

      • cynmac

        Dan Quayle Libelz!!11!

      • calliecallie

        Charo libelz!!!

    • bupkus23

      Used to be the famous stupid people were entertainers – now they’re politicians.

      Of course, there’s that old quote from Sen. Roman Hruska, per Nixon’s nomination of G. Harold Carswell to the Supremem Court – but that was more about “mediocrity” than “stupidiity”:

  • Vincent Ricola

    Too bad McCain didn’t pick a smart 10 year old child as his running mate in 2008, he still wouldn’t have won, but at least he would’ve walked away with his legacy intact.

    • Serai 1

      What legacy?

      • Doug Langley

        McCain’s legacy pretty much sank after Keating Five.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      McCain would have to be as smart as a ten year old, himself, to have figured that out.

  • TheGrandWaz00
  • diogenez

    Circular Reasoning with Sarah Palin!

    That class makes my head spin.

  • beatbort

    The kid is lucky she didn’t pull a Ted Cruz and demonstrate what Wasilla parenting is all about in the corporal punishment department.

  • Arse Grammatica

    VP debate: SP vs EW
    I would watch.

    • The Witch of Endor

      It should be on PPV.

      • nmmagyar

        Cinemax After Dark

      • Jukesgrrl

        PPV? Don’t give her any ideas.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      A debate between her and Stephen Hawking would probably render her catatonic.

      Not that I would actually want to degrade Prof. Hawking by putting him in the same room as that ignoramus.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Sarah could have answered, “I never looked at it that way,” or “I never thought of that,” and she wouldn’t have been lying.

    • Sakonyachen

      If she wouldn’t have been lying, she would have been refusing to talk.

  • The Wanderer

    “Empress Snow Lumps.” (giggles)
    That child could think rings around Grifty McQuitter.

    • cessnadriver

      She showed up at the Belmont States a few years back with new and very obvious implants. One headline: “Sarah Palin Adopts Two Puppies”.

      Levi had stated publicly that the Talibunny quit the governorship so she could get implants.

      • Msgr_Moment

        ♫ ♬.Then she flew those puppies up to Nova Scotia
        To see the total eclipse of the sun….

  • Late to the party, but here’s Sarah telling us who Trump should pick for Veep:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sarah-palin-donald-trump-vp_us_57724e9fe4b017b379f736ce?section=

    Edited to provide a working linky..

    • Doug Langley

      Oh, Gawd. I could just feel IQ points melting away.

      • NellCote71

        Surely quicker brain-cell killers than all of the booze I have ever drunk.

        • Doug Langley

          And without the fun side effects.

    • jmk

      She left out “someone with a flag bikini and a demonstrated ability to kiss his ass just how he likes it.”

    • Msgr_Moment

      someone who is not running too

      BURIED LEDE ALERT: Caribou Barbie crosses herself off Veep list!

  • Jenny

    It is a good thing she never had any kids smarter than she is! Wait…

  • Fly

    Never get between a Mama Grizzly and her word salad.

  • rocktonsam

    not answering questions from kids is what makes $arah a excellent mama grifterly

  • Laffing Crow

    “Honey, I’m a proud, morally bankrupt idiot dontcha know, and I can only relate to other morally bankrupt idiots, gosh darn it.”

  • glennisw

    Be fair. The kid’s question was way too nuanced and sophisticated for her.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    The Queen of Derp doesn’t answer unless it’s something like “Can you tell me why ‘Murica is the greatest country in the world?”

    If someone asked her a deeply intellectual question, she’d probably explode like the fembots at the end of the first Austin Powers movie.

    • Wee Mousie

      Shouldn’t Tundra Barbie and Donald the Dumpf be at opposite ends of the Patriotic American Exceptionalism Jihadist Movement?

      The Snowbilly thinks America is so Great she is grating, while the Orange Crested Cacophooey wants to make America Great again.

      Surely there is some dissonance there, or do they only listen while they themselves are speaking?

      • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

        Drumpf probably masturbates to the sound of his own voice.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Kinda like being in the front row of a Gallagher show?

      • Sakonyachen

        Except without the intellectual stimulation.

    • Allen Jordan

      I would pay to see that.

  • Panika MCD

    I would like to know what the Ragin’ Cajun had to say after that. where’s the rest of the video?

    • Be Gin

      Down at the DA’s office, pending charges. That little bully picked the wrong princess to mess with this time!

      • Panika MCD

        is he getting checked out for rabies and considering pressing charges for her taking the “Mamma Grizzly” thing a bit too far or is she trying to convince the DA that “being mean” is illegal while he competes for the Guinness record for sustained eye-roll?

  • tehbaddr

    “Empress Snow Lumps” SNOWBILLY GRIFTER TITS LIBELZ!!!111!1!111!!!!!!!111111!!!!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Republicans really need to step back and think about what it means to their children when they vote for paranoids.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Step back and think? I don’t believe they have much experience with that.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    I can’t even watch the video. On a scale from Governor of Alaska to Vice Presidential candidate, how bad was her answer?

    • SeanT1001

      If the Vice-President you’re referring to is Dan Quayle, probably 8 out of 10 Quayles. It’s not even an answer, it’s a cop-out. That’s like saying “hey, that’s arsenic, why are you drinking it?” and getting “if it were arsenic I wouldn’t be drinking it.” Even the audience knew it was a garbage answer.
      She is a Trumpan being, what other answer would you get but garbage?

    • phoenix00

      I’d peg it somewhere around “drill, baby, drill!”

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Close to box of owl shit but not quite sack of doorknobs.

      • Smokahontas

        Owl shit is interesting if you really get into it. Just sayin.

        • Panika MCD

          owl shit is not interesting. that’s owl pellets (aka raptor hairballs) you’re thinking of.

      • Sakonyachen

        I would like to introduce all of the Palins to a sack of doorknobs(with votes)! But the doorknobs may lose interest.

      • Pugsandcoffee

        So…like a 7-Eleven gully washer full of the semen of Bristol’s many boyfriends?

  • SeanT1001

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0ZTKaMcqCM
    How come little kids can see straight through the bullshit and our elected leaders cannot?

    • phoenix00

      The kids aren’t paid off. Yet.

      • Be Gin

        Don’s going to get mad when he finds out that he bought candy and soda pop for a bunch of con artists who can’t even vote!

        • phoenix00

          They should be paying /him/!

      • lynchie

        If they get elected to congress they soon will be

  • Claire Carton

    Tautologies are cool! It’s like, um, linguistic recursion? Which came first, Sarah endorsing Donald or Donald being unsexist? Keeps me up at night I tell you.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Paul Krugman mentions the Wasilla grifter, in his wonderful “A Party Agrift” column:

    “Sometimes the political link is direct: dire warnings about the coming depression/hyperinflation, from which you can only protect yourself by buying Ron Paul’s DVDs (the “Ron Paul curriculum”) or gold shares hawked by Glenn Beck. Sometimes it just seems to reflect a judgment on the part of the grifters that people who can be persuaded that President Obama is Muslim can also be persuaded that there are easy money-making opportunities the establishment doesn’t want you to know about.

    There’s also a notable pattern of conservative political stars engaging in what is supposed to be activism, but looks a lot like personal enrichment. For example, Sarah Palin’s SarahPAC gives only a few percent of what it raises on candidates, while spending heavily on consultants and Mrs. Palin’s travels.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/13/opinion/a-party-agrift.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2FPaul%20Krugman&action=click&contentCollection=Opinion&module=Collection&region=Marginalia&src=me&version=column&pgtype=article&_r=0

    • snark-lurker

      if given the names n addresses of all those who send munnys to the saragrifterPAC, Who among us wuld not milkem good?

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Better get there before Joel Osteen.

        • Sakonyachen

          By the time you realized that, it was already too late. He is one with the grift. The grift needs him, they are symbiotic. When the grift occurs you can find his name hidden in the fabric of the plan. He is everywhere and nowhere. He is Osteen.

    • Smokahontas

      Well, now, there you got with your “logix” again. Are you even a half term govner?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        No, but I’d LIKE to be!!! The long con has been perfected by the GOP, and I’d like some of that sweet, sweet, rube cash.

    • Allen Jordan

      I had a friend who was always talking about buying gold. One day i asked him why and he said that the commercials on Beck’s radio show said that the economy was going to meltdown and civilization as we know it was going to come to an end. I looked at him for a moment and then said “You can’t eat gold.”

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I’m not sure why numbnuts think gold is inherently valuable. Copper is far more useful.

        Colbert used to say goats and women would be the new currency after the global apocalypse.

    • Msgr_Moment

      judgEment libel!

  • Be Gin

    I know this is a mommy blog. And there are a lot of mommies out there reading this. So I have to ask: Doesn’t Sarah’s answer to the 10 year old come off as a bit…maternal? Is it appropriate for her to treat this child as if he was Track or Bristol?

    • Smokahontas

      You mean like parading this kid on the campaign trail for Mommy Bonus Gotta Like You points?

      I’m calling CPS.

    • Panika MCD

      you mean force the kid into faith based sobriety programs until saying it’s the military or being a greenhorn for the summer (the latter being the more deadly of the two) and telling the rest of AK that “kids need to be more excited about school” when asked by a young woman holding her infant and saying she’d just finished her GED and wanted her daughter to avoid the same fate while Bristol was getting down with her BF (who, to be fair to Miss Arctic Lipstick McPitbull, was a hockey player)?

  • 3FingerPete

    Well, there is no invitation to appear on Fox&friends in that kid’s future.

    • geazer

      Oh, wrong. I’m sure that they (and their audience) would LOVE to have him on so that they can mock him, verbally abuse him, and show them how much smarter they are* than he is. You know, try to make him cry.
      .
      * I’m giving them more credit than they deserve by assuming that their collective I.Q. is probably slightly higher than his.

      • Smokahontas

        *Objection! Assuming facts not in evidence. Those fuckers can’t even spell I.Q.*

        • iamnotascientist

          What the fuck are you even talking about?! “Assuming facts” is the very basis of the republican platform on climate change…

          • Smokahontas

            Hey, i don’t make teh rulz! Everyone gets their own facts, whether or not the scientific method applies is up for Jesus to decide.

        • geazer

          True.

        • Msgr_Moment

          E-Y-E C-U-E?

      • Sakonyachen

        I’m certain that they have to stand up to “talk down” to children. They can’t possibly be capable of condescending. That would require an ability to understand sarcasm.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Bill O’Reilly might find him to be a challenge. Maybe too much of a challenge.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    What you see there is that Rethugs have lost California all the way down to the 10 year olds. They will NEVER recover in California.

  • Imagine if the kid had asked a real “GOTCHA” question such as “What is your favorite ‘Frances the Badger’ book?”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUqVw7uRsHM

    • iamnotascientist

      “All of the ones”

  • Mavenmaven

    Sarah took a long sip from her wine cooler and responded thoughtfully to the boy: “I know you are but what am I?”

  • Shoto

    That cool little dude almost made poor Grifterella blow a Bumpit.

  • Shaydee

    Mat-Su mush mouth never misses stumbling through one of ‘those doors that God opened’ for her and her family. She’d show up at the grand opening of a paper clip factory if it paid well. And if it was open bar. And the goody bag had lots of bendy straws.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Bendy straws for the win.

    • Panika MCD

      thank you for “Mat-Su mush mouth”!

  • majorwiblit

    /./././

  • Jgb979

    In fairness: I get a little squicked out when a child is obviously repeating the lines their parents are feeding them. No child should ever be exposed to anything Donald Trump is saying, much less a statement about his critics being on the rag.

    That being said, Sarah of course remains incapable of responding with even the syllables in the right order (PLEASE BE TRUMPS VEEP)

  • Elaina Cabrera

    My goodness sarah palin is the stupidest person on the planet.

    But hey, when you live in a party where it is acceptable, expected even, to claim that science is “just an opinion,” then what’s another whacko “personal theory” going to matter, right??

    You clowns want something to talk about? I’ll help you out –

    Dow over 17,000, record corporate profits, 5% growth, best year for jobs since 1999, consumer confidence up, deficit down 60% in 2014, gas prices low, health insurance cheaper than ever ($85/month), car insurance cheaper than ever ($25/month from Insurance Panda), the 1% starting to be taxed more… all while republicans bleated about Benghazi took pointless votes to repeal the ACA, and did nothing for anybody except the top one percent.

    It turns out that Obama is indeed “the adult in the room,” and yes, the Chess Master. HRC will keep it going, any republican will screw it up. Simple as that.

  • MarkM

    “Donald Trump isn’t sexist. If he were, I wouldn’t be endorsin’ him!”
    Who do you think you’re kidding Grifterella? You’d endorse Jared Fogel for elementary school principle if you though there was a few bucks in it for you.

    • NoMoNeNe

      She’d pimp out her trampy daughter to an asshole gun nut racist Medal of Honor winner who fibbed about his heroical activities in the war if she thought there was a few bucks in it for…..oh, wait. Never mind.

      • zerosumgame0005

        again…

  • WhyFelicia

    It’s actually to her credit that she didn’t bother trying to explain herself. She probably knows that her extended word salads are nothing but fodder for the likes of us.

  • Lord-Nash

    Moose Whisperer Barbie would support the new Bill Cosby wing at the National Organization of Women if she thought it would bring her attention.

  • AB316

    It’s like you’re not even trying anymore, Bible Spice.

    She might as well just ask for $5 at the door from everyone

    • NotConvinced

      Good idea. However when Paul Ryan tried charging to get into his “Will-not-make-sense-athon Town Hall meetings” undesirable old folks still attended and all the money collected to get in, had to be re-distributed to pay Pro Lyin Ryan ringers in the audience.

  • Bear OmNomNom

    I’m surprised Sarah didn’t reply “Shut up… or I’ll name you.” Kid narrowly escaped a long, difficult future as a Batman sound effect.

  • JayGoldenBeach

    Empress Snow Lumps made me laugh so hard I choked on the iced tea I am drinking LoL

  • Ryan Denniston

    Weird, this was the old GOP, of like 8 years ago. How weird Sarah is!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYELqbZAQ4M

    • SisterArtemis

      My favorite Colin Powell thingey ever.

      His autobiography (penned with Joseph Persico) is good, btw

  • littlesuzi

    She actually included “spody heads” in her speech how (giggle) cute!

  • Steve Zakszewski

    When my dentist asked why my gums bleed so much, I blamed it on listening to too many Carivou Twuntword salads. He suggested laying off them and trying meth instead.

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