SHARE

stanford-rapist-brock-turner-mugshot-750x522-1465314385

Oh gosh! Things are just not going very well for Brock Turner these days. First, he has trouble enjoying his favorite steak and doesn’t even like snacks anymore, and he’s just never lighting up a room with his smile anymore. And he’s got a Texas Republican congresscritter yelling on the House floor about what an a-hole he is. A Texas Republican!

Plus, you know, he’s a rapist. Not that this really seems to bother him or anyone he knows.

And now, the former almost Olympian will never be able to competitively swim again!

USA Swimming, the national governing body in charge of competitive swimming, has announced that Turner will be banned from all of its swimming competitions for the rest of his life.

Via USA Today:

“Brock Turner’s membership with USA Swimming expired at the end of the calendar year 2014,” USA Swimming spokesman Scott Leightman said in an email to USA TODAY Sports. “He was not a member at the time of his crime or since then. USA Swimming doesn’t have any jurisdiction over non-members.

“Brock Turner is not a member of USA Swimming and, should he apply, he would not be eligible for membership. … Had he been a member, he would be subject to the USA Swimming Code of Conduct. USA Swimming strictly prohibits and has zero tolerance for sexual misconduct, with firm Code of Conduct policies in place, and severe penalties, including a permanent ban of membership, for those who violate our Code of Conduct.”

This is certainly going to be a bummer for Turner, who spent far more time talking about the devastating impact of him raping a woman has had on his swimming than he did talking about how it might have impacted her, in his official statement to the court.

Like, here:

I’ve lost two jobs solely based on the reporting of my case. I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford, so maybe the newspapers wouldn’t want to write stories about me.

And here:

I’ve been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school. I’ve lost my chance to swim in the Olympics. I’ve lost my ability to obtain a Stanford degree. I’ve lost employment opportunity, my reputation and most of all, my life. These things force me to never want to put myself in a position where I have to sacrifice everything.

Gee! So sad! Still, I’m gonna say that, in addition to banning Turner from swimming, he should also be banned from literally everything else, ever, for at least the amount of time he would have served in jail were he not a white Stanford student who might have swum in the Olympics. Hmm? Sound good to everybody?

[USAToday]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MrBlobfish

    There is only one honorable thing to do.

    • Belasaurius

      careful, Dok has his hammer

      • Msgr_Moment

        Is it silver?

    • Astraea

      Vote?

      • Msgr_Moment

        Early and often.

    • Querolous

      Campaign for Drumph?

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Stop whining, admit his crime, and spend the rest of his life trying to atone? Nah, that can’t be it.

  • Duke

    Went to college with no boundaries on behavior and f’d up two lives.

    If only we knew more about his parents the kind of values they may have given him.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …boo-hoo!!!

  • Skwerl King

    I recommend he do penance by being the first man to swim unsupported across the Pacific Ocean, the long way, from Antarctica to the Aleutians, — or does the sex offender status also require him to stay away from mermaids as well?

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Mermaids can lure men to their deaths. I think mermaids might add a nice challenge to the swim.

  • schmannity

    Actions have consequences. Who knew?

    • freakishlystrong

      They just don’t for Republican Congressfolk.

    • arglebargle

      Even if it’s only 20 minutes of action?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Brock’s idea, apparently, is that the faster you rape someone, the less criminal it is.

        • AlasAnAss

          Faster is better in swimming, so . . .

    • BadKitty904

      Well, it’s still news to the GOP, apparently…

  • memzilla

  • Mpeg

    What dreck. He must be a heck of a swimmer, cause there’s no way he entered Stanford with that quality of writing.

    • Jenny

      My thoughts too

    • Aquaria

      Someone was pointing out that at least one genuinely academically gifted student was rejected by Stanford in favor of this little turd.

      Stanford has poured a lot of money into being a top athletic school. Maybe they should be more worried about their academics again.

      • onedollarjuana

        My great-grandfather was in the first graduating class at Stanford. In 1906 he rushed over to campus to take pictures of the damage that God inflicted on it. Time for God to make another visit?

  • Parchment Scroll

    I love how he and his (incomprehensibly not imaginary) defenders keep talking about how he lost his life, and yet HE’S STILL HERE.

    • boll ocks

      Who could possibly be defending this jizz-stain? I actually can’t comprehend that.

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        Athletic prowess automaticly make you better than mere mortals. Every real ‘Murican knows that.

  • He still has a good chance of joining the Fox News morning show.

    • schmannity

      The new “rapey one.”

      • He could be O’Reilly’s loofah carrier. They seem like they would get along quite well.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Maybe he can pal around with Joe and trade rape and dead intern jokes.

  • smexys_sidekick

    No job, no swimming, no steak…life is so hard for him.

  • Jenny

    I never want to be in a position to sacrifice everything??

    Ummm. What?

    • Captain Kraut

      By Quetzalcoatl, that spells doom for his aspirations to fast-track into the Aztec priesthood career!

  • Iron Monkey

    A Texas congressman and USA Swimming think that Brock Turner, sex offender, should be punished. Probably lots more people think the same. But the ONLY one who counts, that idiot judge, is of the opinion that four month in jail (not prison, not hard time) is almost more than the little punk can take. Brock got the right judge.

    • Aquaria

      Of course a former Stanford athlete judge would go easy on Stanford athlete.

      There’s nothing quite as corrupt as the intersection of athletes and a privileged tier 1 university.

  • chicken thief

    WHEN WILL THE PERSECUTION OF THE AFFLUENT WHITE MALE END?!!1!!!!

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …seriously, where the fuck do they find judges?! This jerk off only received 6 months in jail for raping an unconscious woman in a alley behind a dumpster!!!

      • Astraea

        Even more baffling, the judge ran on the promise that he was tough on sex offenders.

        • chicken thief

          Next time. Next time a person of color appears before him, that is.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …you didn’t read the fine print. “Only if they are minority”

        • Aquaria

          It’s a lie. In the DeAnza lawsuit case, where a woman year old was suing the thug athletes who gang-raped her when she was 17 to receive damages, he allowed the defense to admit a picture of the vic at a party a year after her attack because she was wearing a skimpy dress and fishnet stockings at a party. Apparently, this scumbag of a judge thought it sufficiently cast doubt on her claims of being traumatized by her rape.

          Two of the thugs got off without paying anything in damages.

          Several of the others paid less than expected.

          In case you hadn’t had enough of a rage stroke.

          • Astraea

            I hope he gets voted to hell.

          • nothingisamiss

            omg, I may well have that rage stroke this morning.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Where I live, judges are just lawyers with mediocre careers and rich friends who support their campaign to be elected judges. There don’t seem to be any criteria for election other than campaign funding. I was in Small Claims Court last year – the judge did not appear to be familiar with basic state statutes that I learned in 8th grade Civics class. One of our Circuit Court judges is notorious for giving everyone probation, unless they actually killed someone.

        • Captain Kraut

          Where I live, only the very best of each class of law students gets the chance to become a judge, they are chosen by their peers, who actually understand what qualities a judge needs. While such a closed system naturally has its own dangers, it seems to work quite well on the whole.
          But our judges do have a bit more responsibility in a court system without juries. I’m not saying one system is inherently better than the other, but some positions probably should not be beholden to public opinion and popularity, just as the idea that correctional facilities should be run on a for-profit basis usually seems quite insane to anyone not raised in the US.

        • willi0000000

          just another good reason NOT to elect judges.

          [ i had a bad experience with an elected judge almost 45 years (to the day, now) ago . . . i broke down in Gallup New Mexico and the only mechanic in the town who would work on a VW was the local circuit judge . . . the bastard was out “riding the circuit” and wouldn’t be back for weeks! . . . had to get towed to Flagstaff Arizona!]

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I lived in Louisiana for 4 years, and the judges there are notorious. Whoever bribes them the most wins the case. A neighbor of mine was driving drunk, ran off the road and hit a tree and killed the passenger – his best friend. He told me his parents paid the judge $25,000 and he got off scott free. He boasted about it.

    • Rick Hill

      It should just be getting started, imo.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …so this little SHIT WEASAL gets 6 months, I repeat 6 MONTHS in jail for raping an unconscious woman behind a fucking dumpster. And he has the audacity to whine about losing 2 jobs and not being able to swim anymore?!?!

    • arglebargle

      Actually, three months. He gets time off for good behavior. I shit you not.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Oh? He didn’t rape anyone inbetween?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I may get banned today

        • arglebargle

          As my wife says, don’t do anything stupid. If I may speak for the Wonketteriat, we like having you around here.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Hear, hear.

        • nothingisamiss

          WIth vote. With votes. withvoteswithvoteswithvotes.

          stay angry and unbanhammered.

        • SpideySenser

          Please don’t. That would be bad. Those comments that you do not write would be sorely missed. Also, too, this is not a comment in case anyone was wondering.

        • WomanComingHome

          Don’t do it. The nasty little scumbag is not worth it. And I’d miss you.

      • nothingisamiss

        I read that yesterday. Due to get out of jail Sept. 2nd, I think.

    • Belasaurius

      with good behavior, he’ll be out in three

      • Astraea

        Already reduced, his release date is Sep 2.

        • chicken thief

          Fuck me to tears…

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …with assholes like this walking this planet, you may want to rephrase that

        • So his prison time for committing a rape could be the topic of a “how I spent my summer vacation” essay. Fucking fabulous.

          • Captain Kraut

            With less content in the “what did I learn from that?” part of the essay than the average fourth grader’s.

        • Blank Ron

          So it doesn’t even have to be actual ‘good behaviour,’ it just needs to be, ‘Oh, I’m sure he’ll be good.’

    • MarkM

      Well, to be fair, he learned from the best. He took an online course offered by Trump U called “Audacity: How to make it work for YOU!”

  • Indiepalin

    Could have been worse. His pals could have posted a picture of him smoking a bong.

  • freakishlystrong

    He kinda reminds me of that asshole that is the Republican candidate for POTUS. I KNOW, right?

    • Rick Hill

      Which one, oh, yeah. They winnowed the field down to just one.

  • Rock Drummer

    How deep is the water in a jail shower stall? He could still do some swimming……..with the big eels!

  • goonemeritus

    The more this kid and his father talk the more I question my opposition to public stoning.

  • Ikimizi

    Time to get out of the gene pool, ex-swimmer boy.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I have never been a supporter of Sharia law punishments, but sometimes – just occasionally – I think in the back of my mind, in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, that castration is an appropriate punishment for rape, since it does take the rapist out of the gene pool.

  • rosenbomb

    Nothing like a story about Brock to make me feel stabby on this sunny Friday morning.

  • Astraea

    He’s obviously not going to learn his lesson or be subject to the justice the victim deserves in this case, but at least he’s going to face one tiny consequence.

  • Skwerl King

    I’ve been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school. I’ve lost my chance to swim in the Olympics. I’ve lost my ability to obtain a Stanford degree. I’ve lost employment opportunity, my reputation and most of all, my life. These things force me to never want to put myself in a position where I have to sacrifice everything.”

    Yes, and?

    I’m sorry but you probably have it a million times better than many most people. You life is not ruined. You now have barriers you must over come. You can suckle of the teat of your steak providing parents and can probably live of of your inheritance.

    So I say to you “buck up”… wait no.. that’s not the right term… oh yeah:
    So I say to you “fuck off”.

  • calliecallie

    This guy makes Donald Trump look better, actually.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Puh-leeze The Donald raped one of his exes.

  • Thaumaturgist

    good news is that he wont have to worry about losing his virginity in jail, where rapists are not well regarded

    • Msgr_Moment

      No. He was being separated out for that very reason: to prevent payback.

  • FauxAntocles

    Cry me a river.

  • beingreleased

    Somebody’s been reading USA Today today. Two stories already from it.

  • chicken thief

    How stoned is that fucker in that pic?! Could those eyes be any redder?

    • Captain Kraut

      You say that as if it’s a bad thing…

  • jmhm

    I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford, because I’m a moral cripple and nobody cared what I did to drunk girls back in Happy Valley.

    FIFY

  • Msmlg1979

    I wonder how many things his victim won’t be able to do or enjoy anymore. Trust people? Attend celebrations? Sleep without nightmares? Go out at night? Live without PTSD? Be the person she was before a monster decided to visit violence upon her?

    • Jenny

      Oh you know, just silly emotional women things. But a man without snacks? What a cruel world!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      PTSD lasts forever. You can learn to cope, but it never goes away. This will affect every relationship she has for the rest of her life.

    • Aquaria

      A so-called human doesn’t learn to shove pine needles into a woman’s vagina overnight.

      Most rapists have raped multiple women before they’re caught.

      I fear there are more of of his victims out there than this one woman. That’s what makes it hard for me to sleep after reading about this privileged shit.

      • Msmlg1979

        Most if them are never even caught. 3 out of every hundred. Absolutely terrifying.

  • crunchyknee

    “I’ve been shattered by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I briefly experienced in my four months at school.”

    That is rich. Personally, I would say: I’ve been improved by the party culture and risk taking behavior that I experienced in my 8 years at school. But, that was just the younger Knee’s experience at college state. Also, I never raped anyone.

    • h4rr4r

      Me also too!
      None of this party culture seemed to include any raping though. Might be a different kind of thing at that school.

    • “I’ve been shattered by party culture. I have no will of my own, no moral boundaries, no respect for the autonomy of others. Just sex and drugs and booze. But I promise it’ll never happen again.”

  • Logic of Color

    Seriously, has this guy ever expressed sympathy for the victim? Has he ever stated that he regrets violating another human being?

    • Skwerl King

      Only in a round about crocodile tears way.

    • BadKitty904

      Inability to feel empathy is one of the primary characteristics of a sociopath. Or a Republican. But I repeat myself…

  • Given what we know about rapists, I would guess that this is not his first offense, just the first time he got caught.

    • Aquaria

      I’m about 98% certain that he does have other victims.

      • Blank Ron

        And will have more. He’ll just be more careful next time.

  • Stein Olsen
  • diogenez

    “SOMERSET, NJ—In what local authorities are calling a “near tragedy,” Charles Wentworth, a 17-year-old Rutgers Preparatory senior and member of the affluent Wentworth family, came perilously close to suffering a consequence resulting from his own wrongdoing Saturday.”

    http://www.theonion.com/article/wealthy-teen-nearly-experiences-consequence-2551

    • Ikimizi

      Sheez. The Onion guy even looks like him, with his hair dyed black.

  • BadKitty904

    Jebus H., that photo! And I thought *I* was Caucasian?!1?!

  • bubbuhh

    And, he was such a nice guy. Sad! Or, is it Yuuuge!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Donald Trump’s perfect running mate.

  • Jeff in the desert

    The judge could have declared a mistrial because the defense so incompetently failed to use the affluenza defense. But he is suffering the worse sentence of all, losing his white privilege.

    • Aquaria

      Or the judge could have said, “You know, it will look really really really bad for a former Stanford athlete to rule on a case involving a Stanford athlete,” and recused himself.

      But he didn’t.

      Convenient, that.

      • Jeff in the desert

        But you see that’s the rub. Just like Trump accusing the judge of Mexican descent, being a Stanford athlete is just part of who the judge is, and one should expect the jurist to rule with the equity of the law. (I know a naive position but everyone is connected in some what to others….)

        • Aquaria

          I could understand, say, a Univ of Texas judge not stepping down from a case involving a UT student. There are literally hundreds of thousands of UT alums.

          But the Stanford athlete club is considerably smaller. And chummier.

          • Jeff in the desert

            Sure, I get it. All part of the balance of justice. Well, regardless, the judge is a f***ing asshole.

  • limberrat

    Good. And he’s saddled with being a sex offender the rest of his life. Go rot in hell asshole!

  • Msgr_Moment

    Let’s return to less bile-producing stories, like the ones about Drumpf stiffing his clients and the Retrumplicans cheering him on.

  • Poor baby… here.

    Maybe next time don’t rape a girl.

  • chicken thief

    Has this kid ever once, even in a parenthetical clause, mentioned any remorse or concern for the victim? You’d think someone would take him aside and give him a little counsel – “yo, you little shit, if you just said ‘sorry’ folks, besides that judge, might cut you some slack…”.

    • Msmlg1979

      If he has, it’s a lie. When you are capable of shoving debris inside someone’s vagina, you’re incapable of being sorry for anyone but yourself.

    • orygoon

      I read his entire letter to the judge, and he did sound pretty remorseful, to the victim as well as on his own account. I did feel a bit sad for his young-and-stupidness. I thought he was being pretty authentic.

      The popular kids in high school can get a really distorted notion of what young life is all about, absent innate or well-taught empathy.

      • Jenny

        I read the letter too. It was yeah I’m sorry I made her sad. I’m sad too! I’m really sad people don’t like me! I’m sad my actions cost me stuff that is so unfair. Oh yeah I’m sad she probably lost stuff, but over all I’ve lost more.

        • Msmlg1979

          So very easy to SAY things, isn’t it, especially when you’re trying to save your own neck?

          • It’s even easier to write them down and not have to deal with all that body language stuff.

        • Aquaria

          That was probably as much compassion as his defense lawyer could squeeze out of him.

          I worked for a high-powered defense lawyer on the administrative side of the house. He’d defend anybody as long as he could get his $$$$ for the case (and heaven help you if you tried to stiff him), but what he was willing to do for the law, and what he thought about the people he represented were two different things.

          I do remember him saying after one of the clients wrote an I’m sorry letter to lighten his sentence that the client could as likely get the book thrown at him as get a reduced sentence with the letter he was putting forth. Apparently, he couldn’t get the guy to write a genuine apology even when coached on what to say. The scumbag was such a complete narcissist and sociopath that he simply could not comprehend showing any kind of sympathy for his victim.

          That was the one time when I heard a defense lawyer actually say that sometimes he represented the scum of the earth, and that most of his clients were lucky that he loved the law so much that he’d represent them simply to uphold the principle of an accused getting a fair trial.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There are plenty of things wrong with the culture of binge-drinking…it’s one of the things I talked a lot about with Drublic Jr. when he went off to college. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to cite it as the REASON for sexual assault. Many kids drastically overindulge, most don’t rape someone behind a dumpster. Plus it then becomes part of victim blaming/shaming…”if she’d just stayed in her room with a chastity belt…”.

        • My son is still in high school. We talked about this. I told him, “I don’t want you to be the guy who doesn’t rape her, I want you to be the guy that helps her get home safely.” I think he gets it, and I hope he follows through.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Good on you. I read that the two guys who did come to her aid were so upset by what they witnessed, they were sobbing when the police arrived. The victim hasn’t met them yet, but considers them guardian angels.

          • Shan

            That’s my son. He’s helped wrangle drunk friends of his home many times (he’s DD a lot, Thor-sized and can carry them) and was pretty horrified when one of his female friends basically thanked him for tucking her in instead of “taking advantage” of her.

        • orygoon

          Look, nobody despises entitled hard-partying high-school jocks as much as I do, and I know when I wrote the above that if we did downfist voting here, I’d end up at minus-eleventy-billion. But I did read the letter and I do think Brockie has had some come-to-Jesus moments with himself, and we can all hope that he has more of them and becomes a better man for it.

          I never will say that being young and stupid and entitled excuses RAPE. It does not; it is an action that harms others.

          But by God, being young and stupid is a thing, and young people are so goddam stupid. The Spare, who was very slow to grow up in the behavioral sense, stayed home and went to community college for several years, because he was such an un-diligent student that we would not pay for him to go to a university until he passed some college credits. When he went off to U of O at last, I thought about potential pitfalls. He wouldn’t be busted for underage drinking, because he wasn’t underage. But, I figured, he wanted to be liked…so I lectured him. DON’T BE THAT GUY WHO BUYS BOOZE FOR THE UNDERAGED.

          Not a month into the term, guess what? Fortunately, only college measures were taken, and no criminal ones.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That’s why I added the edit to my comment. I was never disagreeing with you in the first place, just throwing in my two cents. My apologies.

          • orygoon

            Damn, I had to edit too–the keyboard-pounding posted before I was ready, but you saw it coming: The Spare immediately got busted by Dorm Authority for buying booze for the underaged…you see edits if you refresh only. I need to be more careful.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No worries. As to the rest, you read his whole statement, and I didn’t. Perhaps I’d disagree with the sincerity of his remorse, but that’s beside the point. Just wanted you to know I didn’t mean to suggest that you were excusing the behavior. Hope The Spare has left behind childish things.

          • orygoon

            Here’s the part that sounds pretty remorseful, not widely quoted–and yes, maybe his lawyer helped him write that, and yeah, the other parts are a much too poor-me-MY-life-is-shitty-now. But this is in his statement:
            “Not only have I altered my life, but I’ve also changed [REDACTED] and her family’s life. I am the sole proprietor of what happened on the night that these people’s lives were changed forever. I would give anything to change what happened that night. I can never forgive myself for imposing trauma and pain on [REDACTED]. It debilitates me to think that my actions have caused her emotional and physical stress that is completely unwarranted and unfair. The thought of this is in my head every second of every day since this event has occurred.”

            http://heavy.com/news/2016/06/brock-turner-full-statement-letter-judge-aaron-persky-court-victim-rape-stanford-rapist/

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Hope somebody in the orbit of this kid’s life/family can clue them in that THIS is what you say (and hopefully feel), and that carping about your own diminished opportunities is a guaranteed recipe to get people to hate you.

          • orygoon

            LOL, The Spare has always been a great kid, just, like I said, rather slow-maturing. He’s in the Navy now, and learning a good trade (corpsman, public health) and is about to transfer from a weary Norfolk/USS Eisenhower assignment to over here on the left coast, San-fucking-Diego! He’s the best. No, The Heir is the best. Nope, they’re both the best!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Glad to hear it! I’ve got a good one too…son, friend, occasional shop helper, bandmate. It’s the best.

          • Aquaria

            I don’t think he regrets a thing. I think he’s saying things after heavy coaching from his defense attorney who most certainly has an appeal in mind.

            He’s not going to implicate himself in any way, because that will hurt his appeal. He says as little as possible about the victim–because the more he talks about what happened to her, the more likely he is to implicate himself in doing something wrong.

            Besides, getting these sociopaths to show compassion for the victims is almost always an uphill battle for defense attorneys. His attorney almost certainly pushed for more compassion for the victim, and less “poor me,” but these sociopaths just can’t stop themselves when they get on their self-pity train.

            Of course, this is the dynamic at work in most rape cases being appealed. But this isn’t the typical rape case going to appeal anymore.

            If I were the Santa Clara County prosecutor I would get my own appeal in right now so that I could argue for a harsher sentence.

          • orygoon

            I’m so happy for you that you know exactly what kind of “privileged twat” I am and what is in the mind of a person who is in the news. I bow to your omniscience.

          • Aquaria

            Then don’t ask why people don’t invest in IRAs and 401ks as if everybody can do it, nitwit.

          • orygoon

            Hello? Our income is modest and always has been. I do not have an employer-helped 401(K) and only did for two years of my work life, and it amounts to peanuts. Overall I have not saved nearly enough for retirement by any standard metric. Saving is hard, and I know it. I may be better able to do it now because I am probably a bit older than you and don’t have as many current obligations–when younger, I usually didn’t put a penny in an IRA or anything like, most years. I hope your situation improves. I also hope you stop name-calling; I am not and never was a “privileged twat” and I am not thrilled about having met you in that way.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I have some counsel for him right here. *grabs sock full of ball bearings. And votes*

    • Somebody ought to remind him he’s supposed to feel bad for what he done.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I’m surprised his father didn’t give him that advice… Actually, not really.

      After my brother got pinched for threatening someone in an argument over some burned CDs, my Dad was like, “Why they hell would do that?”; then he was like “Just go back to the dude and apologize” and the judge was like “Yeah, you should do that so I don’t have to throw in jail.” But NOOOOOO!!! Idiot brother didn’t want to apologize. So judge threw him in jail. The end.

      Only difference in this story, there was a reasonable father and a reasonable judge involved.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I see the buzz phrase “party culture” straight from the lawyers, along with the supporter’s letter referencing “political correctness” straight from Hannity, and whatever deflecting his dad did.

    I don’t know what it would take for this guy to see that he would be a much more sympathetic figure if he just accepted that what he did was wrong, with no qualifications.

    That surely has to be the first step in rehabilitation. Don’t complain about shit until you can man up and face that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Affluent white males shouldn’t have to “man up” about anything, because affluent white male.

  • BadKitty904

    “Hello, Clarice.”

  • jviscont1

    Let’s take lifeguard out of his career path too, given his touch with handling the unconscious.

    • SessileRaptor

      He has to register as a sex offender, and I would hope that they at least do that much of a background check on lifeguards.

  • Jenny

    I can’t even. I just can’t even.

    I could see him getting a lighter sentence if he had shown true remorse over his actions in his letter.

    But his letter, and every letter in support of him has nothing. Nothing remorseful at all. Just that he got too drunk and made a bad decision. And now he’s going to stand up against partying (but not rape, or sexual assault)

    I hate everything about this case.

    • chicken thief

      “Just that he got too drunk….”

      Apparently he wasn’t that drunk.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Sexual assault rather than rape? Pine needles and gravel found in the victims vagina? Sounds like he was too drunk to perform and then took it out on his victim.

        • chicken thief

          Maybe I should have read the court transcript instead of the article and (non-existent) comments. Why is everyone saying he raped the victim if he did not rape her?

          Sort of a separate question, stuffing pine needles, or anything else, into another’s body is ‘rape’, isn’t it? Peen into va-jay-jay is not the only definition of ‘rape’, right? ‘Scuse me, I’m off to the googlez….

          • Shan

            “Peen into va-jay-jay is not the only definition of ‘rape’, right? ”

            If I read it right, in CA it is. Which, weirdly, makes it LEGALLY impossible for a man to be raped.

          • chicken thief

            Also too for a woman to rape a man or other woman. Which does seem odd for otherwise progressive CA.

          • Shan

            Right. I wasn’t considering…all the different permutations of rapey-ness that people can do. Ugggghhh…..

    • Msgr_Moment

      I always hate it when I get whiskey rape dick.

  • Poor baby’s eyes are red from crying about what he did.

    Oh, wait – drunk and chlorine.

  • Jay Vaughn

    Who the fuck gives any shits about swimming?

    • Barley_Brains

      Someone who just fell out of a boat?

    • Lizzietish81

      Greg Louganis?

    • TJ Barke

      Michael Phelps?

    • Nemo and Dorie?

    • Logic of Color

      My wife, an insanely good backstroker?

    • Randy Riddle

      Esther Williams?

    • BigBoppa

      Busby Berkley?

    • atheistinafoxhole

      Two thirds of the passengers on board the Titanic?

    • Jenny

      Natalie Wood?

    • JVisconti

      Try the Baby Ruth candy bar in the pool trick and find out.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Australians.

  • Astraea

    “Coming from a small town in Ohio, I had never really experienced celebrating or partying that involved alcohol.” He added that he “looked to the guys on my swim team as family” and followed their lead into weekend partying.
    The Roxie Hart defense should be pretty transparent by now, shouldn’t it?

    • AlasAnAss

      Oh, that was a good one.

      • Astraea

        ty, ty, I’ll be here all night

        • AlasAnAss

          Thoughts on the veal?

          • Astraea

            Choke on your cruelty-full meat and don’t be a Trump, tip your servers.

          • AlasAnAss

            There you go.

    • BadKitty904

      Just wait – he’ll blame “jazz and liquor” next.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Those people” music.

    • PortTaiLand

      He had it coming.
      He had it coming.
      He only had himself to blame.

      • Longstreet63

        Good point. Do we know if he was dressed immodestly?

    • Rick Hill

      Small town? He’s from Oakwood. Butts right up to Dayton.

    • jmhm

      and yet his young friend with the band says she’s an expert on this sort of thing because their town and their social circle are flooded with binge drinking and sexual assault.

    • Jesus Christ, even Mayberry had plenty of booze. What the hell kind of stereotype is he trying to play to here?

      • Blank Ron

        The C&W one, where the smaller the town you grew up in, the more moral and upright everyone was.

    • Roadstergal
      • Astraea

        I can’t believe it!!!

      • cmd

        I’ve seen very little coverage of this part of the story, a few pieces here and there, few and far between.

      • Aquaria

        Gee. What a surprise.

    • Aquaria

      And it’s a lie, besides. I understand there’s evidence of him drinking and hitting some bongs (or the equivalent) from high school.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Funny, i thought that in all small towns, everywhere, alcohol or drugs was what bored teens do. At least that was what a friend who was brought up in a small town told me, I wouldn’t know from personal experience.

    • Beaumarchais?

      “We both reached for the pine needles…”

  • AlasAnAss

    And it turns out Judge McRapeyCulture’s having problems, too: Jurors are refusing to be empaneled in the case he’s currently presiding over. Straight up saying Nope to him because of the Turner case. It’s like people think he really fucked up or something and have about had it with this shit.

    • jmhm
      • anwisok

        “KPIX-TV’s legal analyst LaDoris Cordell said the jurors’ refusal to serve under Persky could spell trouble for the court system . . . ‘We rely on our jurors in order to make the system work.'”

        True. Maybe we should have judges who aren’t so abhorrent that jurors refuse to sit for them, then?

        • Astraea

          There are a whole lot of people who are suddenly very concerned about recalling judges because we don’t like their decisions.

          • jmhm

            Hey, that judge practiced his drums for ten years preparing to get his morals out there in the world.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Dere go de judge, dere go de judge.” (I remember Laugh-In)

      • SpideySenser

        Sock it to me!

    • Beaumarchais?

      Love it! What’s he gonna do, declare them in contempt of court?

  • beavertank

    He’s lost his chances at all those things… and has become a rapist. Which is entirely his own fault. Funny how he ignores that part.

    But waaaaaaaah he’s a fancy sports guy, he shouldn’t have to face consequences!

  • Tendernob

    “This man broke into my home & murdered my family.”
    “Did you ask him to?”
    “No.”
    “But you didn’t not ask him to? I mean, you can’t ruin his life over that.”

    • Astraea

      You didn’t specifically say he couldn’t break into your home and murder your family. How could he know? Classic miscommunication.

    • limberrat

      Well if you had a gun to protect your family, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

    • MarkM

      “How was I to know such behaviour was frowned upon?”

    • Roadstergal

      Had you been drinking? How much had you been drinking? Do you often drink when you invite people into your home? How many people have you invited into your home in the past? How old were you when you started inviting people into your home? We see this text message that says you were going to invite your good friend into your home later, you obviously like to have people in your home, no? How is a man supposed to understand these unclear signals about when he is or isn’t allowed into your home?

      • Aquaria

        And you were in your pajamas at the time? Why were you so provocatively dressed? Don’t you know how much some people hate women in pajamas?

        • SpideySenser

          What kind of pajamas? Sexy lingerie or sweat pants and a t-shirt?

  • Jeff in the desert

    Trump: See! When a white judge judges a white kid, WITH NO PREJUDICE, the outcome is fair and unbiased.

  • PortTaiLand

    Rapist mainsplains why his raping wasn’t his fault – Part eleventybillion

  • Sardonicuss
    • bubbuhh

      And, she didn’t even have to pay someone to write that about her.

      • Sardonicuss

        I was never so glad to see somebody profiled by Peirce as when he first “discovered” her. She sure spent a long time in the wilderness.

  • Rick Hill

    Myself, I wonder how many other incidents, legal or not, occur because people see junk on the interwebs. People who make cruel prank vids, amazingly psychopathic comments, etc, and somehow feel this is normal, that their peers approve. Not even feeling there is a consequence to their actions.
    Not even taking into account this guy’s upbringing. I had a boss, he moved to Oakwood(not the wealthy side west of Far Hills), this was in mid nineties. The one thing he mentioned that he was concerned for was the way the rich kids were(they all went to the same school) He said they had money and no concerns so they did whatever drug they wanted, had parties with no intervention from their parents. Never been told no or held accountable.
    The folks who get all high and mighty about “some” people needing child raising classes before they have kids, I think these wealthy parents need some lessons as well.

    • MarkM

      It helped get Trump the Republican nomination.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      But don’t they hire nannies to deal with all that child raising? Responsibility WTF.

    • YourNameHere

      One of the members of that community wrote an article saying this basically word for word.

      • Rick Hill

        I read that. I was going back 20 years. Imagine it now after cell phones and such.

  • Jeff in the desert

    Trump: I can sympathize with that kid. That Messican judge has taken away my appetite for snack foods, too. Especially Oreos……

  • “What kind of man would turn his kid into an outboard motor?”

    Vonnegut (paraphrased, just a little)

  • Iron Monkey

    Brock is a really white white guy. Looks bleached.

    • PortTaiLand

      Chlorine is a helluva drug!

    • BadKitty904

      What would you call that shade? Morlock beige?

      • Iron Monkey

        Pasty alabaster maybe?

    • Roadstergal

      You must be at least _this_ white to get off with a slap on the wrist.

    • Tundrafig

      I would assume he’s using rapeseed oil, but what do I know?

  • America, the land where eating skittles and drinking iced tea can be a death sentence, but raping an unconscious woman is worth 3 months.

    • anwisok

      Six. Six months, thankyouverymuch. Except, reduced to 4, for “good behavior.”

    • MarkM

      Zimmerman would have sent Brock on his way with a tug of his forelock and a hearty “Fine night for a rape, Mr. Turner!”

  • schmannity

    I wonder what the Texas House member would have said, if anything, if a rape baby were in the picture.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Then the poor girl would have to hear all about what a “blessing” it is. smh

  • marxalot

    Point of order: he hasn’t lost his life.
    I’ll leave that there.

    • AlasAnAss

      I say potato, you say a rapist pretty got much away with raping . . .

  • mardam422

    I wish I could feel sorry for him. I really do. But I can’t. I really can’t.

    • Aquaria

      I don’t wish I could feel sorry for him.

      Fucker deserves far worse.

  • LeCafeAuLait

    Oh Brock. Your dad will get a perfectly nice job with one of his rape-apologist buddies. One of your rape-apologist friends will surely sign up to be your rape-apologist wife. In time your lawyer will get your name off the sex offender registry. You’ll use a slight modified name, maybe go by your middle name, and be perfectly fine. Unfortunately for the rest of society.

  • TJ Barke

    When oh when will the white man finally overcome the oppression and suffering?

    • GeminiCricket

      Oh Gawd, please lift our burdens!

  • Jeff in the desert

    USA Swimming sounds like an upstanding organization given, since he wasn’t a member, they didn’t have to do anything.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Can’t feel sorry for him. At all. Or his father. Or the idiot judge who slapped him on the wrist.

    Actions have consequences, even 20 minutes of action!

  • MrBlobfish

    How do we know poor Brock hasn’t done this before? First time he’s been caught is different than first time raping.

    • Roadstergal

      I would lay large sums of money that he’s raped many times before. If the Swedes hadn’t come by, this would have been just one more in the series.

      • Aquaria

        In this line.

        You don’t learn to shove pine needles into vaginas. That’s not spur of the moment when you’re drunk. That’s a conditioned behavior.

        You’ve had practice getting there.

  • Lizzietish81

    Thank GOD he has a rich daddy to help him through this rough period

    • BadKitty904

      IKR? Otherwise, he might be justly prosecuted for his crime, like some peasant!

      • TJ Barke

        Can you believe these peasants? Daring to actually have their lords held accountable for silly things like rape?
        Damn political correctness, it’s ruining our country.

        • BadKitty904

          Earl Godwin? Is that you?

      • wavicles

        This. Guy. Right. Here. IS the violence inherrent in the system.

        • BadKitty904

          And yet he claims he’s being repressed?

  • Spotts1701

    Isn’t it nice how his statement doesn’t mention the victim’s pain? As if she doesn’t even exist in his frame beyond “well, her life is ruined so don’t ruin mine too”?

    • Nockular cavity

      That. Does she even exist in his worldview?

      • Aquaria

        In my experience?

        No.

  • BigBoppa

    Perhaps the poor baby can be roommates with George Zimmerman so they can cry themselves to sleep every night.

    • BadKitty904

      As long as Brock avoids hoodies and Skittles…

      • Aquaria

        I think he’d have to go to Trump’s tanning specialist as well.

    • chicken thief

      Come on now… we have laws against cruel and unusual punishment. Even for rapists.

    • Beaumarchais?

      They do share a mindset.

  • anwisok

    “I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford, so maybe the newspapers wouldn’t want to write stories about me.”

    Yes, yes, those are the reasons they’re writing about you, Brock. Whyever else would they be writing about you?

    • Msmlg1979

      Good point. He is so narcissistic he thinks this story is about his swimming and education. Vomit.

    • cmd

      And how come more of them aren’t writing about how he lied to the judge about his prior drug/alcohol use.

      http://www.mercurynews.com/crime-courts/ci_29988209/excerpts-from-stanford-sex-offender-brock-turners-court

    • Michael Smith

      Right, he’s really laying on the implication that he didn’t anything wrong, but that he is being singled out. Or, to the extent that he did anything wrong, it is a societal flaw for encouraging “partying and risk taking,” and then arbitrarily punishing people for engaging in it.

      Which, I mean, might be kind of applicable if he were charged with underage drinking. But not with rape. He’s trying to play off of the perception that “rape” is a word girls use to describe a decision they regret.

      His problem is that perception is starting to change.

      • Roadstergal

        “Right, he’s really laying on the implication that he didn’t anything wrong, but that he is being singled out”

        To use a banal metaphor, like the person who gets pulled over for speeding when everyone else was speeding, too.

        Basically, I’m saying the probability that he hangs out with other rapists is pretty high.

    • Jamoche

      Y’know, tomorrow I’m going to be singing at one of the Stanford graduation events for Hispanic kids, many of whom are on academic scholarships, some of them the first ones in their family to go to college (Mrs Stanford didn’t intend to found a school for rich kids, and sometimes that part of her legacy is still applied), and they’re gonna appreciate the hell out of it.

      • Biff52

        Good, I’m sure it’ll be awesome!
        Sometimes, Stanford makes me smile. Other times, it’s just maddening. A high school classmate of mine graduated at the top of our class in 1969. He applied to Stanford, not even for a scholarship, just to get in. He had the academic chops, unquestionably. They rejected him because he was sort of a shoe-gazer, a bit awkward socially. Not the kind of guy who would climb Hoover Tower with a rifle, just painfully shy. Oh well, he went on to do good things without their help.

  • Steven M. Harries

    So he’s going to end up like Burt Lancaster, existentially jumping from one suburban pool to another as some sort of metaphor or something, right?

    • bubbuhh

      He’s going to end up as some tough critter’s butt boy because he thinks that’ll save him from the really bad people.

      • anwisok

        He’s in county jail, not prison, and he gets a private cell. With a tv.

        • Suttree

          Commenting rules……….

        • bubbuhh

          Oh, damn. I blame it on the California Celebrity Cell Culture. Next time then. There will be a next time. After all, the peer is outside his cell door, just waiting.

    • Suttree

      That was the most boring movie evar!!!!!

  • Msgr_Moment

    This just makes me wanna…

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Yeah, wouldn’t you just like to …

    • BigBoppa

      Does it come in chocolate?

    • Suttree

      Burn shit down?

  • limberrat

    Maybe if we dumped the jock culture where sports stars are put on a pedestal and told they are better than everybody else, we wouldn’t have these entitled assholes demanding preferential treatment when they are caught doing something illegal.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?!!!!!

    • Msmlg1979

      I would add that maybe if we dump patriarchy, the idea that men are worth more than women, and that women are objects to be possessed…

      • MarkM

        Whoah! I mean, let’s not be hasty…

        • Msmlg1979

          My hormones sometimes make me overreact!

          • MarkM

            That’s okay, I understand. We members of the patriarchy have learned to make allowances. Oh the crosses we are forced to bear…

          • Msmlg1979

            Bless your hearts! I am overcome with sorrow for you. Many tears. Much sad.

          • MarkM

            It’s all right, I’ve learned to carry the burden with a brave smile. A sammich would help though…

          • Msmlg1979

            You are a hero and inspiration. What an honor to make a sammich for such a trooper! It’s nice when your duty as a woman is also this fulfilling!

          • MarkM

            Wait – are you being a little bit sarcastic? I think I’m detecting a teensy bit of sarcasm…

          • Msmlg1979

            Heroic AND perceptive. You ARE a helluva guy!

          • MarkM

            On my helluva way to work now. I was having fun too…

          • Msmlg1979

            Talk to you soon. Have a good day!

      • natoslug

        Waddya complaining about — you gals are already valued at 78.6% of the average man? It sure beats the 3/5ths that we value SOME people at. Of 78.6% of 3/5ths, if you were a black woman, but it’s too early and I was told there would be no math.

        • anwisok

          I get 47.16 for the “black woman” math problem. Sounds about right, I’m afraid.

        • Biff52

          78.6%? How much is that in Drumpf Bucks?

          • natoslug

            He’ll declare bankruptcy before you see the cash, so a solid zero.

          • schmannity

            Two taco bowls per eight hour shift.

      • natoslug

        I blame Death Cab for Cutie. https://youtu.be/pq-yP7mb8UE

        • AntiDerpomeme

          I love this song, BTW. Did you say earlier you were going to see them?

          • natoslug

            I think someone in KC (Mancifooty?) was going to see The Cure, but it wasn’t me.

      • Suttree

        I think that we are slowly progressing, just not fast enough.

        • Msmlg1979

          I think so, too.

        • natoslug

          Another 200 years, assuming we survive that long, and we should be almost equal. It will be a race to see whether we can get rid of the white sense of superiority or the male sense of superiority first.

          • Suttree

            It almost makes me want to breed and raise a very nice boy. I don’t know what my parents did to make me so wholesome, although alcoholic.

          • natoslug

            To help on the whiteness side of things, I’m hoping my kids choose to either not breed, or make sure that they take a Pantone color chart with them on dates and confirm that they are the lightest hue in the potential relationship. It’s time for the Reign of Crackers to end.

          • Suttree

            My girl Lizzietish is even whiter than me. But my last girlfriend was black. I have no fucks to give about a persons skin tone. If they are a good person is all that matters. My nieces and nephew are half Costa Rican and Peruvian and they are absolutely beautiful. I hate to hear people speak about race. There is only 1 race, the human race.

          • cynmac

            If only. Maybe one day, character will be the only thing that matters.

          • Suttree

            it is the only thing that matters to me.

          • TJ Barke

            Probably just naturally empathic. Of course key life events play an important role. I know i became adamantly anti authoritarian because of my second grade teacher(who was an autocratic ass) and became vehemently opposed to racism when my third grade teacher read us a biography of MLK Jr.

          • Suttree

            In a thread earlier this week I related a story of my father hearing me say the word nigger and him correcting me. Later that same week was MLK day and we listened to his I have a Dream speech and I was forever changed. I have become a person who tries to look at everything through other peoples eyes.

          • Aquaria

            The white thing will go by the wayside first.

    • bubbuhh

      Sports stars? He wasn’t a sports star. He was a hanger on. There are literally more than a thousand swimmers who are undeniably better than he is in the USA alone. He’s another rich kid with no morals or backbone who got caught doing something evil in such a way that it couldn’t swept under the rug.

      Do you think he would have gotten the same light sentence if he happened to be a poor black even if he were the star of the football or basketball team?

      You can eliminate all the pseudo-amateur sports in the collegiate universe and you will still have the Mitt Romneys, Dubyas and, yes, Ted Kennedys and his nephews, doing just what this kid did and getting away with it. Sometimes, rich assholes get away with it, even when they are caught redhanded by unimpeachable witnesses.

      Anything that conveys status, especially in the world of the young, beauty, skill, even brains properly packaged, can be a ticket to visit the land of the rich and entitled. But, get caught in a scandal or a crime and you had better really be rich and powerful or the child of the rich and powerful if you want to escape without consequence.

      • Whale Chowder

        The allegations about Jameis Winston suggest that you’re not quite accurate. What you say is true enough but being a highly skilled and -desirable sportsball player is also a get-out-of-jail free card.

        • bubbuhh

          Not hardly. It’s an entirely different situation. Not only did Winston’s accuser withdraw the charges, she refused to cooperate with the police when they tried to go ahead on their own. If there had been any viable evidence, Winston would have gone to jail.

          From Wikipedia:

          >Tallahassee police stated that the complaint was made inactive “when the
          victim in the case broke off contact with TPD, and her attorney
          indicated she did not want to move forward at that time” and then
          re-examined after media requests for information started coming in early
          November.[38]
          On December 5, 2013, State Attorney Willie Meggs announced the
          completion of the investigation and that no charges would be filed
          against anyone in this case, citing “major issues” with the woman’s
          testimony. Meggs stated that “As prosecutors, we only bring charges for
          cases where the evidence will result in a likely conviction at trial.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Suttree
    • TJ Barke

      Too bad the judge in the song is far better than the one in this case.

      • Roadstergal

        I always listened to that song and thought, “I really like how this turns out. It’ll never turn out like this in real life.”

        • TJ Barke

          And that’s one more reason I’m a misanthrope.

    • Playonwords

      Number 47 said to number 3 …
      https://youtu.be/tpzV_0l5ILI

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    But what about the impact of these mean Wonkette posts about Brock on poor Brock?

    • AlasAnAss

      And what about the Olympics? Why does Wonkette hate USA! USA!?

      • Msgr_Moment

        I hear we have a really weak Men’s Rape team this year.

        • TJ Barke

          Congratulations, you just won the thread.

        • natoslug

          The MRA relay team is damn strong, though. We should be able to get all the golds there.

        • Rick Hill

          The trans bashing squad will have to make up for the loss of golds.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Don’t worry, his MRA buddies are ON IT. Or they soon will be. Nothing brings out the trolls like a rape story.

      • natoslug

        Oh, they’ve been on it. Yesterday they were out complaining that this was just groping, and that we’re all attacking Brock for being white, and why aren’t we getting outraged about all the women of color being raped? There was also the occasional cuck, sheeple and corporate media mind control comment to add the extra soupçon of WTF to the comments.

        • jmhm

          Despite the fact that nobody knows what color the victim was.

          • Beaumarchais?

            Well, she must be white—that statement was so articulate.

          • jmhm

            sigh.

        • Shan

          God, I saw the “it’s just a groping case” post and about had an aneurysm. No, groping is not how pine needles and gravel get inside someone’s body. Ugh.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Yes, because being “groped” is totes fine with us vagina-havers, so it’s sooo not even a crime.
            …With votes, y’all…

        • Aquaria

          Whatever you do, don’t read the Stanford Daily site. It’s full of apologists for rape.

    • Biff52

      There’s some guy named “chet” or something that is getting on my last goddamned nerve, now. Not exactly worthy of the banhammer, but if it was me in charge, well…

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        meh

  • I wonder if Brock should go to the same counselors as Josh Duggar?

  • TJ Barke

    Remember, don’t put your dick in someone who is incapable of answering the question “do you want my dick in you?”
    And keep these helpful tips in mind:

    • limberrat

      But what if I really like rape?

      • TJ Barke

        Sorry friend, I guess you’re just so outta luck. Political correctness is just ruining our country…

        • Msgr_Moment

          In other news, the Number Six dance has been canceled.

          • The Wanderer

            Can we still do the ridin’ into town, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’, ever living thing that moves within an inch of its life?

      • natoslug

        Put it down on the application twice.

      • SpideySenser

        I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

        • Doug Langley

          Methodists?? SHRIEKKKKKKKK!!!! ** runs from room **

          • starfanglednut

            Bull dykes!!! Gah!

            I’ll be in my bunk.

        • The Wanderer

          Methodists? You really want the worst people in the world.
          (full disclosure, is Methodist on his father’s side of the family)

        • Hairstrike Alpha

          Well other than the Mexican bandits he’s asking for the 2016 RNC’s delegates…add in child molesters and you’ve got it!

          • MrCanoehead

            I’d rule out the bull dykes, too.

        • BigHorn

          Isn’t that a toby keith song?

    • Roadstergal

      Although I like the whole list, it’s the Buddy System one that makes me sporfle.

    • TheGrandWaz00
      • Alison Wright

        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!tl935x

        two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !tl935x:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsCoachGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!tl935x….

  • Steven M. Harries

    These are the times I miss Dworkin’s “Lesbian Avengers” group . . . and I don’t miss them that often, believe me.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I have a young cousin who earned a full scholarship to an Ivy League college for pre-med. In his first semester he talked his parents into letting him join a fraternity, which they agreed to with some reluctance. By his second semester he was a raging alcoholic and had failed all his classes and was kicked out and lost his scholarship. He did not rape anyone. He admitted it was his own fault. He turned his life around – joined AA, went to community college, then a local public university, got two degrees in Psychology. This required character and will-power, which Mr. Turner apparently does not have.

    • Msmlg1979

      Good for him! Having a substance abuse problem doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Being a rapist does.

      • AlasAnAss

        If we have to be picky about it, fine.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I have to say here that he was raised in a liberal but religious home, by intelligent, caring parents who were active members of their church and who constantly gave back to the community and volunteered for numerous charitable organizations, and who took very good care of their elderly parents and who were excellent role models for their children, which probably helped. I somehow doubt that Mr. Turner had the same childhood environment.

        • starfanglednut

          Yes, alcoholism is an illness, and people who rape are also I’ll. They’re just harder to have compassion for. Kid needs, in addition to some punitive consequences, intensive therapy. Doesn’t look like he’s gonna get it, since his parents think there’s nothing wrong with him. That’d be another advantage of jail. They might force him into some treatment.

          And to be clear, I have infinitely more sympathy for his victim. I’ve been raped myself, so I don’t say these things lightly.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I hear you loud and clear. I volunteered at a local Women’s Shelter for about 10 years. The stories I heard would have curled my hair if it hadn’t already been curly. There was no intensive therapy available for them, which is a crying shame.

  • limberrat

    Thanks Obama.

    • TJ Barke

      The sad thing is there are probably people saying that unsarcastically about this.

  • Jeff in the desert

    You’re a rich guy, and you’ve gone too far
    But you know it don’t matter anyway
    You can rely on the old man’s money
    You can rely on the old man’s money
    It’s a bitch guy but it’s gone too far
    ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway
    Say money got you this far
    Got you this far

    Don’t you know, don’t you know
    That it’s wrong to take what ISN’T given you
    So far gone, on your own (except for Daddy)
    You can get along if you try to be strong
    But you’ll never be strong ’cause

    You’re a rich guy, and you’ve gone too far
    But you know it don’t matter anyway
    You can rely on the old man’s money
    You can rely on the old man’s money
    It’s a bitch guy but it’s gone too far
    ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway
    Say money got you this far
    Got you this far

    High and dry, out of the rain
    It’s so easy to hurt others when THEY can’t feel pain
    And don’t you know that your life can’t grow
    ‘Cause you got nothing to give, ’cause you’d rather live
    For the thrill of it all, oh

    You’re a rich guy, and you’ve gone too far
    But you know it don’t matter anyway
    You can rely on the old man’s money
    You can rely on the old man’s money
    It’s a bitch guy but it’s gone too far
    ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway
    Say money got you this far
    Got you this far

  • natoslug

    If he wants a job, he’s got the journalism credentials to be hired at Project Veritas. The question, though is how good is he at stocking a dildo boat?

  • Sardonicuss

    I keep thinking an Eyes Wide Open treatment (like from Clockwork Orange!) with his victim’s statement being read repeatedly to him seems altogether fitting, since really just alternatives are prohibited in the comments that are not allowed.

    • Beaumarchais?

      He’s well on his way already—guy’s got that rapey stare.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    When it comes to sink or swim, at least USA Swimming made the right decision.

    • bubbuhh

      USA Swimming put its zero tolerance towards sexual abuse in place about ten years ago. They had a rash of high school and college swimming coaches exposed as sexual predators.

      Now everyone associated with organized swimming in the USA in an official capacity undergoes a thorough background check, including having their fingerprints run through NCIS. You don’t pass; you’re shown the door. Anyone who, like Rape Guy, is automatically banned for life.

      • cynmac

        So why was Brockster rejected in 2014?

        • Pickwicknext

          Sounds like he didn’t renew his membership. Which casts significant doubt in the Olympics thing

        • bubbuhh

          He wasn’t. He expected someone else to fill out the renewal form and pay the annual dues, just like someone always did every other year of his life. Unfortunately, for weepy rape guy, even his coddling parents thought he should some stuff for himself at 19 years old.

          • cynmac

            Yeah, and those times would not get him on an Olympic team either. Smells like a Foxcatcher situation.

  • Jeff in the desert

    You’re so vain
    You probably think what they write is about you
    You’re so vain,
    I’ll bet you think what they write is about you
    Don’t you?
    Don’t you?

  • Joseph

    Now if they would geld him and shave off his nose and ears I migh be willing to cut hims osme slack — but not much.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    I never want to be put in a position where I will lose things, although I will probably, at some point, want to put myself in a situation where I can abuse and/or rape another lady again.

  • Iron Monkey

    This will sound stupid but reading the pre-sentencing support Turner got plus his statement and probably most telling his father’s statement makes me realize for the first time just how insulated from the idea of personal responsibility these people are. I have seen it before–a lot–but it was just there, in ineradicable part of American culture and society, something to be condemned or mocked when seen but not really thought about.

    But HOLY SHIT–these people really think that enough punishment for rape is for Brock to feel bad–that what’s amazing. I would imagine any father would write a letter asking for a break in sentencing for his son or daughter–I certainly would–if the kid was going to go to prison. In a case like this, begging for a few years off the time he will spend locked up. That is different from this where the father and other Brock supporters (and Brock) don’t understand he is responsible for his actions. They don’t get it, it isn’t part of their world view, they don’t have words to describe it.

    Off the pig.

    • Astraea

      Two people have since had to apologize for their letters in support of Brock.
      One was a fucking school counselor.

      • BigHorn

        Yeah, this girl fucked her band up a little bit with her idiotic take: http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/08/us/stanford-rapist-defender-backlash/

        • Ghenghis McCann

          ‘you are throwing barely twenty-somethings into these camp-like university environments.’ Suddenly my mental soundtrack has switched to Paul Hardcastle’s ’19’, about the average age of conscripts in Vietnam. .

        • theCryptofishist

          “… supporting partying…” So, how much is party supporting? and could they stop it?

  • cynmac

    Since it’s jail and not prison, he’ll probably only serve three months.
    http://www.vox.com/2016/6/9/11893478/brock-turner-stanford-rape-sentence

  • Objectifer

    “These things force me to never want to put myself in a position where I have to sacrifice everything.”

    So, no more raping then? Progress I guess.

    • Roadstergal

      No more raping quite as overtly.

      • starfanglednut

        You know, I’m sure he’s capable of raping again, even without alcohol. There’s no easy fix for that kind of pathology, and his family and friends seem only to enable it.

    • WomanComingHome

      No more getting caught in the act of raping.

  • TeeRaak

    Maybe he could learn to play an instrument.
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/sbCdjSJEGghGM/200w_d.gif

    • Aquaria

      There is never enough Steve Buscemi in the world.

      • Gregory Brown

        A former firefighter. Good man.

        • therblig

          he got celery back on the table

          • Gregory Brown

            Thou hast befuddled me, friend. Thy reference hath eluded my weak understanding.

          • therblig

            portlandia, buscemi is a celery salesman trying desperately to increase its popularity.

          • Gregory Brown

            I haven’t seen that! Must add it to my list. Thanks.

  • Rick Hill

    Ot but funny that the folks who make fun of others for naming their kids Lawanda or Shatrice or something never mention naming your kids Reince, Mitt or Brock.

    • MarkM

      Or Trig. Or Track. Or Bristol. Or Willow. Or Piper

      • cynmac

        Or Jinger.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Or Tagg.

        ETA: And fuck them for making fun of a different smelling of perhaps one of my government names Rick Hill maybe might have just listed, Hahahahah!!!!

      • Bill Slider

        Bristol is now a married woman, to the father of the baby, according to WaPo.

        • cynmac

          Most likely because she is going to have yet another baby.

          • Gregory Brown

            Somebody should sit that girl down and explain to her how babbies are made. I don’t think she knows. “I’m going to have ANOTHER BABY?! How is this possible?!”

      • JesusWasAHippie

        Trig, Track, Tagg … Trump. Yes, Trump Palin. A wonderful name for a new moosebaby. You betcha!

      • Beaumarchais?

        Don’t forget Barron!

    • JesusWasAHippie

      Trig, Track, Tagg … Trump. Yes, Trump Palin. A wonderful name for a new moosebaby. You betcha!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    There’s always lifeguard duty:
    “HELP! I found her underwater. She’s not breathing! Does anyone know CPR??”

    Brock: “I can help!”

    “Oh, thank God! I’m so glad- Wait, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”

    • Gregory Brown

      Holy crap! You just cracked me up! And I am so glad I did not have a mouthful of coffee when I read that, or I’d be wiping down my monitor right now. Best laugh of the day.

  • dslindc

    BREAKING: Rapist Receives Harsher Punishment from Athletic Organization than from Criminal Justice System

  • tehbaddr

    Uh, Brock the newspapers aren’t writing about you because you’re “good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford”. They’re writing about you because you are an unrepentant Rapey McRapeface!

    • MrCanoehead

      and got caught.

  • Astraea

    Oakwood Municipal Court Judge Margaret M. Quinn, a former federal prosecutor, called for other options than prison in her letter of support.

    “There is no doubt Brock made a mistake that night — he made a mistake in drinking excessively to the point where he could not fully appreciate that his female acquaintance was so intoxicated. I know Brock did not go to that party intending to hurt, or entice, or overpower anyone,” the judge wrote.

    God damn.

    • mancityfooty .

      If she’s so all knowing then maybe she can give me some winning lotto numbers.

    • laineypc

      Silly rape victim, everyone knows that drunkenness is always an excuse for rape. Also, as long as you don’t intend to hurt anyone, it doesn’t matter if you actually end up doing it. It’s like you didn’t really do it.

      • theCryptofishist

        In fact, all that alcohol loosens up your muscles, making rape less painful!

        (goes to gargle with bleach.)

    • FlownOver

      Maybe Madeleine Albright can give her directions to that special place in Hell.

  • Rick Hill

    If only the poor young man had had the good sense to choose someone poor or minority to be his victim then all of this could have been avoided.

    • Jayleia Green

      But the only poorz he’d run into wouldn’t be drunk enough for him to get his rapeytimes on with them, because they’re poorz, they’d be the ones serving his drinks…and probably getting a shitty tip

  • Treg.Brown

    “Where was his father during his formative years? He might not have turned in to a rapey thug if he had the guidance of a father in his life to set his moral compass, and teach him expected behavior.” – said no white politician or reporter ever.

    • Aquaria

      His father was his swimming coach and teaching him that he was the center of the universe, and that he could do whatever he wanted as long as he was good at swimming.

      • Gregory Brown

        Good old Dad. Out of the running for Father of the Year, but he’s got a lock on Enabler of the Year.

  • Bill Slider

    I hope that the Stanford University newspaper, too lazy to check its name, has learned it’s lesson about writing articles about student rape behind dumpsters and sticks to writing about Mexicans, Muslims and the Messiah as Republicans would prefer. The Trump campaign, with its reported staff of 72, has enough problems against Clinton, with her reported staff of 732, according to WaPo.The RNC, no corporate money there, is reportedly attempting to staff up to run his campaign. Drink

    • Aquaria

      The Stanford Daily.

      Do not read the comments. There are some really persistent rape apologists commenting on their stories about the rape case.

  • The Wanderer

    He’ll have a fine career as a delivery boy.
    For the rest of his miserable fucking life.

    • Playonwords

      Perhaps Donal Trump will give him a job …

      • Jeffery Campbell

        A rim job.

    • mancityfooty .

      Phillip J Fry libelz!!11!!!
      http://i.imgur.com/dQBTCdi.png

  • YoBunnyBunny

    “I’ve lost my chance to swim in the Olympics. I’ve lost my ability to obtain a Stanford degree. I’ve lost employment opportunity, my reputation and most of all, my life.”

    Yes, all those things you didn’t have anyway were yours already. On account of you just existing, you already had that shit in the bag. HOW DARE you not get any of it before you’ve even done jack shit to earn it!!! Unconscionable, I say!!!

    What an entitled prick…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    That judge needs to be removed from the bench, too- the stench of alumni just wafts in the air…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    “So wait, you’re supposed to ban them when they commit felonies? Well that’s news to us!”
    – The NFL

    • Gregory Brown

      RIMSHOT!

  • Ergoetal

    “I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford, so maybe the newspapers wouldn’t want to write stories about me….”

    Poor special snowflake. I’ll bet he has no problem giving up drinking now, since that was obviously the cause of all this trouble.

    • TJ Barke

      “I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford raped that girl, so maybe the newspapers wouldn’t want to write stories about me so she would never have had to experience something so awful….”
      Fixed it for special snowflake.

    • theCryptofishist

      Does he wish he’d been less special, but able to rape with impunity somewhere else?

  • Donkey Option

    Yes. I support using society to punish people that the courts won’t. Maybe not forever, but at least until he has shown that he actually understands what he did wrong and why it was wrong. Not this “alcohol and peer pressure made me try to rape a woman when no one else was around and I thought I’d get away with it and how unfair is it that I got caught and have to be punished for it” crap that he’s pulling now. Ten years from now, when he’s still living with his parents and can’t even pay someone for sex, then maybe we can talk. If he won’t be in real jail, we can make the world outside jail as unfriendly towards him as possible. Since these kinds of guys only care about themselves, maybe other guys who would try to pull this crap may not do it just because they know that there are consequences. Though they probably will because they probably would get away with it. Crap, now I’m even more angry and depressed.

    • yyyaz

      I have more than a little sympathy for the Athenian punishment of ostracism. Far less cruel than the unforgivably barbaric penal systems we continue to support complicitly, ostracism was just a codified time-out for adult transgressors. The perp got sent away from society for ten years to think on the errors of his actions before being able to rejoin the community. Of course, I don’t see it as a panacea or as appropriate for all crimes, but I would heartily endorse it in this case.

      • Gregory Brown

        It is called shunning in the Amish culture. Same principle.

      • theCryptofishist

        What difference would if he’s sociopathic? (I don’t know that he is, just asking.) How does that work in a society as big as our is, where most people won’t have a clue who he is? All I think is that he’ll move to another patch and start his con all over.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    I’d ask where the father was but then I get this image of him on his son’s back cheering him on as he raped that chick….

  • maman

    On a serious note, I have told all my girls’ friends that this is a reminder why it is important to vote. Because in most locations…. Judges are elected.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Always vote. And not just for the President, damnit!!!!!!

      • Gregory Brown

        Damn right.

    • laineypc

      Meh, I suppose it would be great to not re-elect that asshole, but where I live, there isn’t enough attention/reporting given to judges, they don’t have money to run big campaigns, so you really don’t know what you’re voting for unless they have already done something so egregious it’s splashed on national headlines.

      • Markuserektus

        This particular judge has run unchallenged.

      • theblackdog

        Yeah, same problem here. I did manage to Google our judges in the primary and found out that one of them is the “tough love” type that keeps moving the goalposts for juvenile offenders so that they seem to never get off of being on probation. You know, get into a fight at school, get arrested, and end up on probation for the next three years because he keeps changing the terms and conditions of fulfillment so eventually they end up doing something worse and going straight to jail. So I didn’t want that bullshit to continue.

        However, he and his slate of incumbents ran on the “Our challengers have no judgeship experience, you know our names already” ticket so they were easily re-elected

  • cynmac
  • FZsdaughter

    Maybe there’s a point to all this schadenfreude, but obliterating this one target isn’t all that satisfying. He is legion.

    • Amy!

      I think that the reason it resonates so strongly is because:

      1) the victim statement (which was submitted pre-sentencing)
      2) the amazing entitlement of the perp’s statement (also submitted pre-sentencing), and of all of those his lawyers submitted in support
      3) the lightness of the sentence.

      The conclusion to be drawn: when an entitled asshole is caught red-handed committing violent stranger rape against an unconscious woman, and convicted of it, he won’t be sorry, and won’t be given reason to be by the court system.

      • jmhm

        And the judge who watched his lawyers savage the victim as though somehow her sexual history made her more likely to have asked to be raped behind a dumpster said that he showed remorse.

        • laineypc

          I really thought we had moved past all that victim blaming crap.

          • eddi

            Not now and maybe not ever. Especially when the attacker is rich.

      • Roadstergal

        I’ve been thinking a lot this week, and I think it resonated with me because Rapist In The News. Seriously, that’s enough to crack the dam I’ve been holding all of this behind. I think Cosby was weakening the structure, and this broke through.

    • Iam Reading

      True, but culturally, I think this is moving the needle

      • Rickyphoo

        Agreed. As deplorable as this whole thing is, when you even have members of the GOP, the True Guardians of White Male Privilege, going on record against the rapist and the asshole judge who barely slapped the rapist’s wrist, I think the needle has definitely moved a little. Not enough, mind you, but a little.

  • beatbort

    There’s always the Trump VP slot, Brock. You seem to have the chops.

    • Gregory Brown

      Good one!

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Trump only like rapists that don`t get caught…

  • GDleftyPart2

    Huh, so 20 minutes of being a complete shitheel rapey scumbag has consequences?
    No not legal consequences apparently but other consequences….

    • Gregory Brown

      Who could have guessed?

  • Callyson

    JFC, this asshole is still feeling sorry for himself?

    Yo. Brock?

  • bubbuhh

    Turns out weepy, rapey guy lied to court about his inexperience with drugs and alcohol and, you know, stuff

    Court officials released numerous text messages sent and received by Turner that referenced buying and using marijuana and drinking alcohol before he entered Stanford, the court records showed.

    In June 2014, Turner texted his sister about “raging” the previous night after spending an hour and a half drinking, according to court documents. That April, he discussed pooling money to buy marijuana with a friend, court records showed.

    Oh, the peer pressures!

    • Tosca

      No surprise about the marijuana use. Look at his eyes in the mug shot. I wonder if he was drug tested? You can bet the victim was…

      • bubbuhh

        Both were “tested” That is, blood samples were gathered within an hour of the attack. A sample of the victim’s fresh vomit was bagged at that scene, too. She vomited when the EMT’s tried to rouse her from a profound stupor. The victim did not regain consciousness until quite some time later, waking in the hospital with no memory of the attack.

        No drugs other than alcohol were found in either.

        Given her blood alcohol content, it is very unlikely the victim was conscious enough to walk or talk for quite sometime before the attack. Someone had “to assist” her to get her behind that dumpster. That someone was weepy rapey guy.

  • I Only Like Cats

    I agree with not letting him anywhere. Say twenty years?

  • noodle

    maybe if my rapist was a swimmer he’d get banned too. A little punishment is better than none.

    • I Only Like Cats

      I wish there were more consequences. People are selfish a holes who don’t understand how consent works.

  • laineypc

    Dude the only way you are possibly going to turn your life around is to try to understand and acknowledge what you did to your victim and take some responsibility. Sure talk all you want about the many factors that factored into your being a rapey person who is himself a victim of rape culture and white privilege and being unable to resist peer pressure and being failed by failure parents who did not teach you good. Analyze that shit up the wazoo. But at some point you have to fucking acknowledge the hurt you caused someone else and feel terrible about it and take steps to restore her, as well as yourself.
    I think her letter needs to be recorded and played every morning to him as he is waking up in his jail cell. One day he might be ready for the message to sink in.

  • eddi

    Sounds like a singer warming up. All me, me, me, me.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Don’t forget WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

  • HanBarbara

    I can’t feel any sympathy when there’s been at least one study concluding that many college date rapes are performed by experienced young rapists who have learned to carefully pick their victims and fly under the radar. If he hadn’t done this before, it’s possible he would have done it again.

    • dshwa

      I can’t see how this slap on the wrist sentence is going to prevent him doing it again.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Well, no one’s gonna invite him to keggers anymore, that’s for damn sure. It might reduce his chance of being around the vulnerable unconscious.

        • dshwa

          I wish, but I bet the rest of his privileged Bros feel he was hard done by.

          • theCryptofishist

            If it’s true that he was taking pictures and sending them to a group, who knows what trouble he could be getting into with them.

      • Rickyphoo

        Well, according to him and his parents, he’s got nothing to lose so I’m betting you’re right.

  • Kooolest G

    somebody should tell this guy that if he wears this outfit and shaves his whole body it will shave .06 seconds off of his prison term.

  • Markuserektus

    There should be honorable mention of the letter that Joe Biden sent to the victim. We will surely miss the noble gestures of this administration.

  • Iam Reading

    Time for a good old fashioned shunning. Treat this fucker like a syphilitic leper with ebola

    • dshwa

      That’s an unfair comparison. Some syphilitic lepers are very nice people.

  • Gregory Brown

    My late brother, a psychiatrist, had a simple, basic definition of evil: Control of another for no intended benefit. That shoe fits young Mr. Rapey McRapeface perfectly.

  • Jo Mathie

    “I wish I never was good at swimming or had the opportunity to attend Stanford” Certainly didn’t get there on academic merit. If those cyclists hadn’t intervened there’s no way he would have given a second thought about what he did to that girl. He’s only sorry because he got caught.

  • Tyro

    On behalf of the community of risk taking, partying, heavy drinkers everywhere, I wish to disavow any association alleged with us and Brock Turner, who does not represent our values.

    • Smokahontas

      I second that motion!

      *hiccup*

    • Iam Reading

      Yeah. I partied like a fucking rock star. We aided and protected the ones that crashed out. We definitely didn’t rape them. The worst you would get is some sharpY marks on your face

      • Dinz6315

        This.
        I am a recovered alky, female. The second night I got drunk was to reexperience the “miracle” that seemed to occur the first night I got drunk. I overamped, got sick, threw up and passed out. I often say that, had I not been with basically decent people, my life might have evolved very differently. But I was.
        Never have I been more sure of this than in the last few days.
        This young man is not one of those people.

      • Blender_415

        In my crowd of morons growing up, even sharpies were off limits if the person took their shoes off before crashing (or someone else did it for them). No shoes, no sharpies. And we always made sure our friends and guests were tucked up on a couch, shoeless, with a blankie and a glass of water (and on a couple of occasions, a bucket).

        However, there were no rules against putting a dab of whipped cream on their hand and tickling their nose. We were awful, awful people.

    • Roadstergal

      On behalf of the promiscuous – don’t fuckin’ blame us, Turner. I never had sex with anyone who wasn’t enthusiastically consenting.

    • Zango LeHoonery

      Preach.

  • Blackest Noobs

    instead of will o’ the wisp, have a will o’ the penis, a vigilante spirit thingy entity that takes the penises of rapists….that are stashed in his bag…his bag of dicks which said entity also beats the living shit to death the rapists.

    i know, i know…that’s pretty mean….but for fuck’s sake he represents everything i fucking loathe about wealthy white privilege…ooooooh too fucking bad you won’t get to swim professionally…boo-fucking-hoo.

    how in the fuck you got into stanford and didn’t know how to comprehend “bad” behavior. your excuse you said was peer pressure but the truth is you’re a bad person.
    bad people don’t deserve leniency.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos

    Ethan Couch is on line 2…

  • Iam Reading

    You lost your life? Uh, no, sorry snowflake, you negatively impacted and irreparably altered the life of your victim and her family. You perpetrated a heinous crime on an unconscious female and were subequently treated with kid gloves by the court, most likely due to white male privilege. You violated the social contract and some of us will hold you to task over that. This was your choice, monster.

    • dshwa

      This.

  • SadDemInTex

    I am glad they banned him for life. I’m sure he was thinking he could go to some other school and compete.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    GOOD. At least someone’s imposing consequences on this piece of shit. It’s not enough of course, but still, good.

  • Shan

    As if it could get any worse….He apparently took a PICTURE of her and sent it to his friends. Someone deleted it (Snapchat-like app), so I guess that’s why they couldn’t press, I dunno, pornography charges on him as well.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2016/06/10/cops-brock-turner-sent-pic-of-victim-s-breast-to-friends.html

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, all sorts of weird and creepy stuff is coming out now. Unless, of course, people are just making it up. Apparently, someone else saw him before the Swedes, taking a picture, and scared him off. But didn’t call the police apparently. There is also accounts of him at that frat party and another party the week before acting all inappropriate and grabby.
      Plus, his mother’s letter was even more oblivious than his father’s, never mentioning the victim, but complaining how she doesn’t feel like putting up happy pictures of the family in her new house.

      • Shan

        I’m not putting a lot of stock in the mysterious witness sighting, just going by what was in the police statement regarding the group chat.

        And, as a mom of a boy about the same age (who played football in HS), I couldn’t even bring myself to read the mother’s letter. I’ve already told my son that if he ever hurts anyone, he’d better hope the police get to him before I do. I was mostly joking at the time, because he’s more of a rescuer type anyway (breaking up fights, getting his drunk friends home safely), but still.

        • veska

          My dad told my brother and me if we ever got arrested not to bother calling him until morning.

          • lovelydestruction

            Yikes, I don’t trust the police that much.

  • obamafone

    I hear that Paraguay is building a swim team …

    • vivian

      How about the Pozzolanic swim team?

      • obamafone

        You mean the guys with cement shoes? Those guys?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I think they should let him swim. (With lead votes attached to his ankles, of course.)

  • veska

    I wish I felt bad.

    Wait, sorry. I was thinking of the moldy leftovers I had to throw out. It’s so easy to confuse them with this guy.

  • commatoes

    I’m wondering, will he be on the sex offender registry? Permanently? I have been adamantly against it but if the presiding judge won’t do anything, it will be cold comfort that the registry is at least fulfilling it’s intended purpose.

  • ViveLaRes

    And if some other swimming organization ever decides to let him in the pool, I hope this happens. Only not a Baby Ruth……

Previous articleDeadbeat Donald Trump: A Cheap Sociopath Who Doesn’t Pay His Bills, Bet You Didn’t See That Coming
Next articleLet’s Watch Elizabeth Warren Give Donald Trump A Wedgie And Take His Lunch Money