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What about Glenn Beck's freedom of speech, huh?
What about Glenn Beck’s freedom of speech, huh?

Teary-eyed America-lover Glenn Beck has been suspended by Sirius XM satellite radio for a whole week after a guest on his show warned that Donald Trump is such a great danger to democracy that if he became president, some “patriot” might have to remove him from office, if you know what he meant (and after eight years of wingnuts saying exactly the same thing about Barack Obama, you probably do). Beck has his very own internet and cable network, The Blaze Teevee, so he’ll probably find some way to stay busy.

Politico reports,

Last week, fiction writer Brad Thor appeared on Beck’s program and suggested GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump was a danger to America and that citizens would have to take means that may not be legal in order to get Trump out of office. Beck did not immediately admonish or distance himself from the comments, leading to the suspension by SiriusXM.

The satellite radio network says it’s “evaluating” whether to keep carrying the program. A statement from the network reads,

SiriusXM encourages a diversity of discourse and opinion on our talk programs. However, comments recently made by a guest on the independently produced Glenn Beck Program, in our judgement, may be reasonably construed by some to have been advocating harm against an individual currently running for office, which we cannot and will not condone. For that reason, we have suspended The Glenn Beck Program from our Patriot channel for the coming week and are evaluating its place in our lineup going forward. SiriusXM is committed to a spirited, robust, yet responsible political conversation and believes this action reflects those values.

Nicely CYA’d guys!

Thor explained on Beck’s show last Wednesday he “guarantees” a President Trump would probably suspend the Constitution, just like all those times Barack Obama has, what with the madness for power and so on. He introduced his comments as a “hypothetical” situation being proposed by a “thriller writer,” to make it clear that he wasn’t reaaaaally advising such a course of action.

“With the feckless, spineless Congress we have, who will stand in the way of Donald Trump overstepping his constitutional authority as President?” Thor said. “If Congress won’t remove him from office, what patriot will step up and do that if he oversteps his mandate as President, his constitutional-granted authority, I should say, as President.”

Nudge-nudge, wink-wink! We have to say, this seems like something new, since we’ve been hearing for years about how Barack Obama was a power-mad dictator in mom jeans who would inevitably destroy America unless We The People exercised our Second Amendment rights to prevent tyranny. But that’s merely taking sensible precautions to preserve Liberty. Haven’t these guys noticed that Donald Trump isn’t Kenyan? Still, it’s nice to see someone finally noticed that fantasies about murdering a president might be a bad thing. Guess these guys just love that Tree of Liberty so much they want to water it every chance they get.

As of yet, nobody seems to be insisting that SiriusXM can’t take a joke or asking where is their stupid sense of humor anyway?

Now we’re just waiting for one of the gun-humping militia boobs to triumphantly exclaim, “See? We weren’t racists when we wanted to shoot Obama!” They’ll probably demand an apology, too.

[TPM / Politico]

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  • tihond

    Thor should have just added “with votes.”

    • Msgr_Moment

      Just one way that Wonkette saves lives asses.

    • BigBoppa

      If only he had Dok to offer some loving correction.

  • kindness

    Yea, he ‘forgot’ to tell his listeners not to kill Trump. Same way he ‘forgot’ to tell them not to kill Obama.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s the sort of thing that occurs when comments are allowed.

  • Martin L

    Trump vs Beck—-who to despise more? What a dilemma!

    • Iam Reading

      Beck. He makes $$$$ by causing half of Murika to hate the other half. Spent 22 years of my life witnessing what that can lead to in other countries.

      • FlownOver

        So does the Drumpenführer, but consider audience size. Any doubt how a Donald Trump-vs.-Glenn Beck name recognition poll would come out?

  • Brewerofbeers

    “Beck has his very own internet and cable network, The Blaze Teevee, so he’ll probably find some way to stay busy.”

    Yeah, but we all know Sirius was the only one of those two things with money… or subscribers.

    • Donkey Option

      Hey, Palin’s channel had subscribers. Supposedly. Although that was probably just people like Yur Wonkette who paid to hate watch.

      • PubOption

        Did Fartknocker ever get a refund when the channel shut down?

  • Spotts1701

    Wait, wait…Glenn Beck has a radio show? Still?

    (By the by, are you guys trying to make up for the day off? Pace yourselves, else the commenters keel over.)

    • anwisok

      Well, since comments aren’t allowed, we don’t have to worry about that, do we?

  • Suspended (with votes and ratings!) over a vat of boiling acid?

  • cousin itt

    Sirius dropped the hammer on Thor.

    • wurman

      A bolt of lighting, out of the blue, with thunder clap (a super bug of gonorrhea) that infects only grifters, con artists, and carnival barkers

  • OneYieldRegular

    I assume that the people of the United States are so fundamentally enamored of violence that it will be impossible to eradicate even this pervasive and repulsive habit of thinking anything can be solved through assassination.

    • Donkey Option

      You know, for all that they talk about it ALL THE TIME, there haven’t been any news stories about people actually trying it lately. Most of these people want to talk tough, but would never actually do anything that might get them killed. Hell, the idiot Bundy people wouldn’t have actually resisted if they really thought one of them would be killed. That’s why they freaked out when someone actually died. They figure that if they just talk about it enough, they’ll get their way with no real work or risk.

  • beavertank

    That constitutional fear seems to significantly underestimate Donald Trump. I have no doubt he’d be perfectly able to reduce the country to ruins while remaining entirely within the president’s powers.

  • anwisok

    Thing is, Trump isn’t actually crazy. That’s why he’s having a hard time picking a VP – it has to be somebody that would be hated EVEN MORE than he is by the other side, so nobody does what this guy is hinting at. With votes, of course.

    • schmannity

      Ted Cruz to the rescue!

      • weejee

        Or Louis Gohmert? Nah, rejecTed is the one.

    • Logic of Color

      A friend of mine told me recently that she hopes Donald gets elected just for that reason. I won’t be spending a lot of time with her.

      • anwisok

        Unless she said it snarkily, I think that might have gotten her bumped from my “friend” list, dropped down to “acquaintance” instead.

        • Donkey Option

          “Person that when you see them at a party you pretend you see someone else on the other side of the room and walk away from quickly”?

      • Kristin Peters

        Never leave your back to her. She may have impulse control issues.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Pathological narcissism is a “type of crazy”.

      • anwisok

        Point taken.

      • therblig

        so, do we sing “soft kitty” or what?

  • King of America

    “Brad Thor”

    oh come on

    • cousin itt

      He’s dating Janet Freyja. Hope they don’t get a flat tire in the middle of a dark rainy night.

      • The Wanderer

        Dammit, Janet!

        • Oblios_Cap

          Hot Potootie!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Toucha toucha toucha touch me!”

      • God what I wouldn’t give to be the Dr. Frank-n-Futter to Chris Hemsworth’s Brad…

        Uuuh, going to be busy the rest of the day!

    • I was going to say, “If there’s a perfect name for a guest on Glenn Beck’s show…”

      (I guess the perfect female name would be “Leona Thunder.”)

    • limberrat

      Meet his brother Mike Loki and his father Joe Odin.

      • wurman

        Beck is a bore, but Odin’s father Bor may have no sense of humor about that.

    • MrBlobfish

      Emperor Of All Things was taken.

  • I’m shocked (and relieved) there hasn’t been constant assassination attempts on Barry-O’s life by gunhumpers in tri-corner hats.

    • therblig

      they get caught up trying to figure out which corner goes in the front and before you know it – it’s bedtime.

    • wurman

      Uhhhh . . . it seems as if local, county, state, and federal law enforcement officers coordinate unscheduled surveillance functions when “Renegade” will be in the area. Often times, the interested parties are “interviewed” right about that time. And . . . as you may have read here or there, some places just never seem to get a Presidential visit.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Silly Rabbit, thinly veiled threats are for Democrats.”

  • Joe Beese

    Last week, the day after the segment in question, Beck opened the show with lengthy nervous protestations of “how could anyone possibly think that’s what we meant?” This is a reasonably close transcript:

    BECK: [addressing sidekick #1] Pat, if you heard the phrase “remove from office”, you wouldn’t think “assassinate”. Would you?
    PAT: No, Glenn, I wouldn’t.
    BECK: [addressing sidekick #2] Stu, would you think that?
    STU: Absolutely not.
    BECK: I know! And come on. Even if you were crazy enough to think that’s what we meant, would we be stupid enough to say it on the air?

    I don’t recall if Pat and Stu thought he would be stupid enough to say it on the air.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      You know, remove from office in the Second Amendment way that the Bundynistas took over the Malheur Wildlife Refuge. Despite not-so-thinly veiled references to using theirs guns to pew, pew, pew people, if they had to, they had no intention of using their guns to ACTUALLY shoot anyone, now that they’re in jail. Who would be so stupid to think that a Second Amendment anti-tyranny exercise could possibly include anything more than flashing your pistol – or even your long gun?

      • Joe Beese

        I just wonder what non-assassinatey method of illegally removing him from office they had in mind.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i33DX9Wjd7E

        • Beanz&Berryz

          The same two part method as the Bundynistas…Part 1: tough-sounding “I’ll shoot you if I have to” NNA (non-non-assassinaty) method, until they figure out that those words carry repercussions, and then they backtrack to the Part 2: the not-so-clearly illegal/offensive line of I’m just Second Amendment Carrying my gun, not ever “planning” to use it, despite what I said at part 1, cuz I just realized the Second Amendment doesn’t actually let me water any liberty trees.

          Oh, and WTF, Jefferson talked about the blood of tyrants AND patriots. WTF!? I never signed up to be tree water – my gun was meant for the tyranty ones, except it wasn’t. Wink, wink.

  • The Wanderer

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (gasp! wheeze!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • schmannity

    Thor’s threats are Heyerdahlly unlikely.

    • Joe Beese

      Still, Trump had better be on Asgard against them.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Jotun want to underestimate your security needs.

        • cousin itt

          Keep Loki and no one will notice.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            It’s just an Odin-ary thing.

    • borninatrailer

      It’s take a big set of balsa to suggest a presidential assassination.

      • schmannity

        Trump Kon Tiki it as a warning.

        • borninatrailer

          I’m just glad you got the comment stream back on Ra proper heading.

    • Querolous

      Just trying to find out if we Kon-tiki joke?

  • Jenny

    Well I guess it has to be said. Don’t murder any of our political leaders. Even if that political leader is a dumb.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If God had meant us to murder American politicians, he wouldn’t have created Canada for us to flee to instead.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hell, if dumbness had anything to do with it, Shrub would have been assassinated about 1000 times.

      • Skadi

        It’s probably like with another would-be painter: the Time Police are foiling all attempts because [reasons].

        • sw19womble

          Right. But it’s okay for them to manipulate the queue for the restroom yesterday when I was bursting for a piss.
          One rule for them, another for the rest of us!

        • Nockular cavity

          I’m more worried about the Dream Police, because they’re looking for me, they’re looking for me, every single ni…sorry, I’ll stop now.

        • Jamoche

          Everybody kills Hitler on their first trip http://www.tor.com/2011/08/31/wikihistory/

    • Rick Hill

      FEMA camp? That’s ok, right?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Patriot … channel? That by itself makes me want to day drink.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      They have less shit talk about the Dolphins and Jets than you might expect with that name.

      • schmannity

        Deflategate 24/7

  • Creepoman

    Good for them, but as far as I can tell, 0 = Number of suspensions handed out by SiriusXM for veiled assassination threats against Obama.

    • Donkey Option

      I was just about to post about this. I’m pretty damned sure that people have said that about Obama, probably on Beck’s show, and Sirius did jack diddly about it. But now that it’s Trump being threatened, now it’s a problem. Assholes.

  • JMP

    Hey, remember how we actually did have a President who did in fact completely ignore the Constitution in illegally ordering domestic surveillance, having people indefinitely detained without trial, and even fucking torture? It was fairly recent, in fact. And yet none of these “patriots” who are oh so concerned about hypothetical suspensions of the Constitution had anything to say about it then.

    • schmannity

      Chimps are a protected species.

      • glasspusher

        Ah, the vitriol against Bamz has made me rethink my transgressions about comparing W to other great apes, my friend. We can learn.

    • Anarchy Pony

      And starting a war of aggression under false pretenses…

      • A lot about 21st century American history sobers me, but it still amazes me that in my lifetime the adultery of one President was generally treated like a much bigger deal than another President goading the nation into war based on false information.

        • TeeRaak

          Profit$

          • wurman

            Or outright treason by Saint Ronnie of Raygun selling arms to an enemy and using the proceeds to fund the Contra in Nicaragua. Lawrence Walsh got indictments, convictions, etc., and Bush xli pardoned most of them.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Someone didn’t get pardoned?

          • wurman

            Here’s a good list of participants that shows which traitors were sort of, kind of, partially “punished.” It appeared to me, at the time, that Bush xli only pardoned those who were going to serve really hard time. [ https://www.brown.edu/Research/Understanding_the_Iran_Contra_Affair/prosecutions.php#headertop ] You can see how the private business thieves were sentenced, lightly, and the rightwing thugs on the federal payrolls, mostly, got off–way off. Thomas Clines and Elliot Abrams were probably the biggest fish to be “almost” fried.

          • malsperanza

            Sometimes I think it wasn’t even about the money. It was just “Because we can.” That idea of America as the world empire, kicking ass and unstoppable, was a drug to those raving psychopaths.

          • Jared James

            “Was”?

          • malsperanza

            Nope, I will not lump Obama in with Rumsfeld, Cheney, and W.

          • Jared James

            Not what I meant. Ask any of the raving psychopaths what we should do to fix their disastrous cock-up, and it’s the same, only harder.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well… “Those People”… so it was okay, right?

    • limberrat

      But remember, he loved america…like an abusive boyfriend loves his battered girlfriend.

      • MarkM

        A remarkably apt analogy, that.

        • Nancyffore2

          “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!ti1012ur

          two days ago grey McLaren. P1 I bought after earning 18,512 Dollars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k Dollars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over hourly. 87 Dollars…Learn. More right Here !ti1012u:➽:➽:.➽.➽.➽.➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsBestGetPay$98Hour…. .★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★::::::!ti1012o….,…

        • lurch394

          And I’m sure he feels like a man as she falls to the ground…

    • Iam Reading

      What? He provided free speech zones. WTF GWB, our entire country is a free speech zone

    • h4rr4r

      Remember how the current President said that would change, and then it did not?

      • JMP

        Wait, what the flying guck? So Obama didn’t end the torture policies? He didn’t do everything he could to close the gulag in Cuba, but get blocked by Congress? That’s just bullshit.

        • malsperanza

          Big, pissed-off upfist.

          So tired of my fellow lefties bitching that Obama somehow just didn’t bother to deal with Gitmo. Same folks who apparently think the presidency is like being king, and Presnit Sanders will give us single-payer because he CARES more.

        • goonemeritus

          My upfist is more sincere and heartfelt than normal.

        • h4rr4r

          Gitmo is still open, the CIA still hands people over to our “Allies” to be tortured. Black sites still exist.

          The Democrats had 8 months in which they could have closed gitmo. They could not even get their own folks to go along.

    • cheetojeebus

      But, he was a good ol boy…. ‘Hey, Hold my beer while I jab this cattle prod up your ass. ‘

  • Msgr_Moment

    Today we are all Cincinnati gorillas, unable to avail ourselves of Second Amendment remedies.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Wonkette is a liberal shill and not covering the stunning new Trump endorsement by the DPRK/Kim Jung Un wherein they say something like “Trump is good, smart, far sighted leader who will make Yankee go home! And DPRK use Nuke threat to re-unify Korea. Boring Hillary with her sanctions and ‘no nukes!’ is a no good. Vote Trump 2016! for more better!”.

    • cousin itt

      Best Hillary advert ever.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      So… North Korea doesn’t use Google Translate, do they??? I wonder what they use…

    • limberrat

      True Korea loooooves Trump!!!

      • h4rr4r

        Best Korea.

    • Iam Reading

      Will the real Korea please stand up, please stand up, please stand up

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Supreme Leader Kim Jung Un, it has been said, has the most beautiful, long fingers.

  • whitroth

    1. I just read an article this morning about the Libertidiot Convention, where they selected a delegate. Y’all should read about it. I agree, they’re all complete loons.
    2. “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel” – Samuel Johnson.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Libertardian, please, libertidiot is not the preferred nomenclature.

    • Skadi

      I’ve said it before: “Last Refuge of the Scoundrel” would be an awesome name for a DC-area motel. Preferably one with hourly rates.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        On K Street???

        • Anarchy Pony

          Of course.

        • BigBoppa

          On AOT,K street.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Sounds very “50 Shades of Greyish”. Have you been a bad, bad boy?

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • sw19womble

        Still a better candidate than anyone the GOP had to offer.

        • sw19womble

          And a better love story than Twilight.

          • natoslug

            But where does it fall on the “50 Shades of Grey” love story index?

          • MarkM

            Somewhere down around “The Human Centipede’

          • sw19womble

            Well, it was certainly an assault on my senses.

            And so was video of that guy stripping.

      • TheGrandWaz00
        • MarkM

          It’s not WORKING!!!

      • natoslug

        That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

      • anon_the_great

        That’s beautiful! No fat shaming this Bro.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Why is a Canadian telling we Americans what to do? Wasn’t it enough that those Canucks sent Ted “Sleeper Cell” Cruz over their border into our great country?

    • weejee

      Actually, the Beckster was born here in Washington. We try to hide that. That said the former, and do mean former Mayor of Beck’s hometown of Mt. Vernon decided to give ol’ Glenn a key to the city. The city council voted unanimously to change that to cement overshoes and a good toss in the Skagit River rescind that mayoral error in judgment.

      • kareemachan

        True story: I live near Mt. Vernon, and I mailed the mayor an old smelly workboot. It felt good. Also, I happened to be in MV the day of his arrival, and there were lots of cops and protesters out there. Didn’t see too many signs supporting Beckie-boy.

    • MarkM

      Mwuhahahahahahaha!!

  • Callyson

    Glenn, Glenn, Glenn…you’re supposed to add “with votes!” at the end!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …rule number one, never and I mean NEVER take advice from a guy named “Thor”!!!

    • What if we want to know how to get epic pecs, bro?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …do you even lift?!

    • Greg

      Odin? Sure. Loki? Perhaps. But never Thor.

      • PubOption

        The god of war rode out one day
        Upon a handsome filly
        “I’m Thor” he cried
        The horse replied “You forgot the thaddle, thilly”

      • wurman

        Not Baldr, etc.

    • limberrat

      And you are an old man and a fool!

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …for Asguard!!! Never try to out nerd me!!

    • DemmeFatale

      But he’s such a movie star dreamboat!
      (Loki, too.)

  • cousin itt

    Next up on the Beck show, an actor of some repute, John Wilkes Booth.

    • Skadi
      • MarkM

        That statement seems a tad more ambiguous than they intended. Or is it…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Abe would be hustled out of today’s GOP as a RINO faster than shit goes through a goose.

      • Donkey Option

        My brain hurts now :(

      • natoslug

        I’ll try to ignore the missing comma that should have been after Lincoln and move on to asking WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TRYING TO SAY? With how it is written, I can only interpret it as America being indebted to the assassination of Lincoln, which would make sense from a GOP standpoint, I guess.

        • Skadi

          Options range from

          (a) Intern error (“You had ONE JOB!”)
          (b) Ghost of Booth hacking the server (*evil laugh*)
          (c) …Freudian slip?

          • natoslug

            (d) Someone in the GOP remembered how to do a subtle dogwhistle.
            (e) AoT,K

          • david green

            You left out “Stupid”.

          • Skadi

            I thought that one went without saying.

  • Jenny

    Whaaat there’s a new season of Peaky Blinders?? Bbl!

  • NanBullenshede

    Dok, thee hath misspelt tranny.

  • NanBullenshede

    And also, too, libetry.

  • BigBoppa

    “gun-humping militia boobs”

    Nice job working Michele Fiore into the story line.

  • Paperless Tiger

    The conservatives are freaking out, and rightly so, because they’re fucked.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    It was only a matter of time until Beck went off the deep end again, once he’d gotten a taste of blood with that poor girl in 1990

  • borninatrailer

    This really just shows how serious Glenn is. Do you have any idea what would happen to his precious gold prices should Goldmember get assassinated?

  • TeeRaak

    Am I the only one who hopes ass-i-nating Trump involves eating LOTS AND LOTS of beans?
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/iTOg0SvRhoTMk/200w_d.gif

    • Spotts1701

      That’s a gasser, all right!

    • Wee Mousie

      And then locks himself in a airtight room with The Donald while they sit together and listen for the final report.

  • baconzgood

    The Tea Party man child has fallen so far. Wasn’t he once a really important person to the GOP?

    • Anarchy Pony

      He’s not far right enough anymore, a total RINO.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The downward spiral of Beck continues. Eventually he’s going to have to get into a more honest line of work, like peddling snuff films and selling meth to elementary schoolers.

    • MarkM

      He’s probably already started.

      • weejee

        Olde eyes, just noticed yer avatar. Is that dhc your’s?

        • MarkM

          I wish. It’s a Jag XK-150. Had my picture taken in it in Vancouver at the All British Field Meet.

          • weejee

            Whoot. Mrs. weejee and I go up there for that. She has a ’68 +8 Morgan she lets me wash if I’ve been good.

          • MarkM

            Nice! Were you there this year? There were some sweet Morgans there.

          • weejee

            We had a conflict, but hope to next year. We love dripping oil on the VanDusen grounds.

          • MarkM

            Had a great time. Beautiful location. Got a few hours behind the wheel of my buddy Mike’s Austin-Healey 3000 driving to and from Trail. That car in the mountains was so much fun.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      He’s on a slippery slope to “John Waters character”, that’s for damn sure.

  • Scooby

    Help, I am commenting from a WallMart prison were I’ve been since Jade Helm! We don’t get the Patriot Network.

    • Fartknocker

      Yeah but they got wi-fi so don’t be a fucking pussy like the Bundy Boys and bitch to those liberal media hacks. Suck it up Buttercup, pay off a store security officer with some butt sex, and smuggle in a XM radio. Do it for freedumb!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This particular thread of conservatism — fetishising assassinations or coups — mystifies me. I used to live in the reddest-ass part of Spokane, WA, and the neighborhood basically descended into anarchy once when trash pick-up was interrupted. They held a “neighborhood forum” and spent a whole evening whining when the city deviated from the snow-plowing schedule. These assholes think they are gonna survive the violent overthrow of the federal government? Not fucking likely.

    • Donkey Option

      But they have guns! Guns solve all their problems!

      • Paperless Tiger

        They should have just shot the snow.

      • Biff52

        ..

    • kareemachan

      It sounds like they’d do as well as the idjits at Malheur….

    • MrBlobfish

      Tri-cities represent, yo!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Jaysus. You’re a Mad Maxx LARPer?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I know a guy who weighs about 400 pounds who is convinced he’s basically a Seal Team 6 combat-ready secret weapon. When the shit comes down, he (and his .22) are ready! As my son says, if he has to get out of his truck 3-4 times in a hurry, he’s basically toast. But he’s really, really, really ready for the violent overthrow of the federal government!

      • MarkM

        This him?

        • whitroth

          That needs to be photoshopped with a dinosaur or croc peering from the bushes behind him.

      • Skadi

        America’s true heroes:

        http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          This is exactly what the guy is like; he shows up EVERYWHERE with about eleventy holsters, and wears cammo from top to toe. I assume he still sleeps in GI Joe pajamas.

          • MarkM

            I dare say he has a built-in “holster” for GI Joe, too.

          • Painter of Goats

            More like a moist crease.

        • Biff52

          Why have I never read this shit before? Hilarious!

        • Jukesgrrl

          That’s amazing. Thanks for posting.

        • King of America

          thank you, thank you for this

        • Left Coast Tom

          Holy hell, that shit just goes on and on and on…all to defend fruitcake samples!

          Same with those mindless teenyboppers who go to the Hickory
          Farms store, and then take double samples of fruitcake and cheeselog,
          you warn them that they will be charged with a felony(grand theft), and
          that if they attempt to fight and run, they will be, unfortunately,
          first tazered, and if they continue to resist violently with intent to
          maim, then wounded.

          • Skadi

            Today, fruitcake samples, tomorrow Fort Knox if they aren’t stopped!

        • Jamoche

          “if you come into the sector I’m LRRPing ”

          Dude misspelled “LARPing”.

          • Skadi

            Hey! We LARPers are so much more mature and realistic than this. We only pretend to be vampires.

    • Spotts1701

      Not only that, but should they succeed they’d be lauded as heroes.

      “You know what? Lots of people hated John F. Kennedy. He barely got elected. But Lee Harvey Oswald isn’t remembered as an American hero. Just a prick with a gun who killed the president.” – Black Summer

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Same for John Wilkes Booth – he was genuinely bewildered that he wasn’t considered a hero. Delusional people + guns = unhappy outcomes all around.

    • Skadi

      (Sorry, this post was meant to go below.)

    • SadDemInTex

      This…

  • Thor should write an advice column for the NRA.

    “Dear Thor, I don’t like the president and didn’t vote for him. What should I do?”

    “Use your Gun. Say he was a tyrant afterwards.”

    “Dear Thor, my husband and I have been fighting over money lately and I wanted to ask-“

    “Use your gun. I’ve found that people will just shut up and GIVE you money once they see you have a gun.”

    “Dear Thor, what’s the best way to remove bloodstains from clothing? I’m asking for… a friend…”

    “Use your gun. If you shoot your clothing in the bloodstains, they won’t survive.”

    “Dear Thor, how do you get pancakes to be fluffy?”

    “Use your gun.”

    “Uh… how does that even work?”

    “The stack of pancakes must be watered from time to time by the blood of your enemies.”

    “That makes no sense!”

    “I have a gun.”

    “Okay, then, I’ll try shooting my… pancakes… thanks, Thor…”

    • limberrat

      That Thor sure sounds like a stand up guy!

      • “Thor thanks you, Patriot. Encourage you to buy Thor’s book: 101 uses for firearms in bedroom. Thor thinks you will be pleasantly surprised by #38. Get free assault rifle if you order now.”

    • Skadi

      Thor forgot to mention how you can use your gun to cook bacon.

      • “Thor is a part of the Tribe. Conversion. Thor like the hats.”

      • wavicles

        And graduate college.

  • natoslug

    If all else fails, Glenn can go back to being the mascot for Pillsbury.

    • weejee

      Quite interesting that Doughboy doesn’t like Dough Boy.

  • Jeff in the desert

    …with votes…with votes…with votes…with votes…with votes…

  • MrBlobfish
  • Lizzietish81

    Trump can protect himself by choosing a true moron as VP.

    SarahLou?

    • weejee

      From her porch she could keep an eye on his new bff, Vald the Putin.

    • Dutchman

      I read your not comment and now have a headache from trying to think who/what/which would be a greater moron than Agent Orange himself. It’s a conundrum.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Maybe the guy who will be forever immortalized by his “Libety or Tranny” sign?

    • Bear OmNomNom

      There was one guy who’d have been a perfect insurance policy, but he died in Abbottabad.

    • david green

      Cana former President serve as vice president. Just asking – I think there is one available in Texas. And his wife would probably be glad to get him and his paint brushes out of the house.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Another hypothetical scenario is us all finding out about that alleged rape and murder committed by Beck on a young girl in his van back in 1990

    • Jukesgrrl

      Beck? Really? I thought that was Joe Scarborough. My bad.

      • david green

        I thought it was a boy.

  • Jgb979

    As irresponsible as talk of assassination is, and as much as I 100% endorse banishing Glenn Beck from all airwaves save North Korea state broadcasts maybe………..

    The only thing the audience listening to the Patriot channel heard was Glenn Beck is a RINO ?

    • Sheepshagger

      Regicide in name only?

      • Lamashtar

        Ah, that would be the British Republicans. Got a start when it was explained what the word means there.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I don’t know why they get so worked up over what the president does. It’s not like he can boss around the local county sheriff.

    • Jukesgrrl

      That certainly seems to be the case in Arizona.

  • anon_the_great

    NOW a warning!?!

    Not to defend Beck too much but he is far from the 1st mainstream wingnut with a microphone to suggest 2nd Amendment remedies. SiriusXM had made billions of dollars broadcasting exactly the same sentiments.

    • MarkM

      Was G. Gordon ever on XM?

      • anon_the_great

        Yep he was.

        • MarkM

          Thought so…

      • Duke

        G. Gordon “head shots” Libby

    • Lamashtar

      Hell, I remember a late night talk show host joking that if Trump were elected we might finally find out if we ever get time travel when someone came back to take him out before WW3. I guess its the difference between having no chance and having Secret Service protection and being the presumptive nominee.

  • Msmlg1979

    Usually when I see a picture of someone crying, I feel sad, but when it’s Glenn Beck, I giggle.

    • MarkM

      That’s pretty harsh…

      • Wee Mousie

        But right on the money.

        • MarkM

          Definitely…

      • Msmlg1979

        You’re projecting on me now, harsh sauce!

        • MarkM

          You had to be expecting it…

          • Msmlg1979

            I might be slightly less than surprised

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Hope the vacay was fantabulous, btw!

          • Msmlg1979

            Thank you so much. It was lovely!

        • Skadi

          He’ll be harshing our mellow next!

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      It does put a spring in your step, doesn’t it? It makes me want to say, “oh yeah? Well I’ll GIVE you something to cry about!”

      • MarkM

        It’s almost as good as seeing RejecTed elbowing his wife in the face…

    • Michael Rush
  • PubOption

    It appears that Thor brought down the banhammer on Beck, at least as far as Sirius is concerned.

  • Wee Mousie

    That Beckerhead, Glenn, should start advising listeners to assassinate Glenn Beck. Then, instead of a suspension, he would be sent out to press the flesh in the communities where his image has become a trifle tarnished — or as my grand niece would say — “EVERYWHERE!”

    • vivian

      I believe it’s “Beckerwood”

      • Wee Mousie

        That Beckerhead may be made from Beckerwood, but that’s most definitely a Beckerhead. I’ve encountered a lot of Beckers on two continents, and that Beckerhead is indubitably a Beckerhead.

  • Biff52

    Huh. I’ve had XM since 2001, and I didn’t even know Blech was on it!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      You can’t be sirius?

      • Biff52

        Yes, I see…

        I just have no cause to tune in to the channel his show is on, much like I don’t watch fox or the blaze.

    • Suse

      I usually listen to Little Steven’s Underground Garage.

      • JustDon’tSayDittos

        rAW dOG lIBULZ!!!!111!111

      • Biff52

        Like here at Wonkette, I spend most of my time on politics–Progress 127, Insight 121, and POTUS 124. Weekends, NPR 122, Ozzie’s Boneyard 38 and Outlaw Country 60.

  • anon_the_great

    Georg Elser

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Goddamit, President Obama, we’ve been waiting and waiting for you to unconstitutionally overthrow the damn government! Are you even going to try to get around to that? I know you’re busy with the apology tours and the 10,000 rounds of golf you play every day, but time’s a-wasting!

  • Eric Oliver

    go ye to thine FEMA camp under thine Wal-Mart!

  • say wha

    Someone forgot the first rule of Assassination Club.

  • Iron Monkey

    Slightly off topic but Brad Thor is a lovely man. I can say that without reading anything he has written but when I was working as a bookseller at a since close Barnes and Noble he stopped at the store–he must have had a signing somewhere in the area, introduced himself to the booksellers, thanked us for our support (I barely knew his name and hadn’t recommended his books to anyone but what the hell), signed a few copies of each title we had of his and generally acted like a non-entitled decent guy.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That’s what the neighbors always say, when the reporters go around asking questions afterwards.

      • Iron Monkey

        Exactly–he was always such a quiet, polite boy. I couldn’t imagine he was actually an unrepentant serial killer.

    • Courser

      That’s good to hear. Some of my favorite authors have turned out to be jackholes.

    • Lamashtar

      I don’t respect his doing interviews with Glenn Beck, but he does seem to be trying to act decent right now. He keeps repeating that “*if* Trump crossed the line”, et cetera. So this is a tempest in a teapot.

  • ContextIsKey

    Wasn’t Obama elected on the promise that he’d take away everyone’s guns? He’d better hurry, since he hasn’t managed to take one yet.

    • Dutchman

      Well in his defense he did manage to have Tarpman’s gun taken from his cold dead fingers. What? Too soon?

      • ContextIsKey

        I had forgotten about Tarpman, the launcher of 1000 cruel but humorous internet memes. Obama does in fact have his gun.

        • thixotropic jerk

          “Send Snacks…And Dildoes Cuz Jerbus Don’t Share!”

      • DemmeFatale

        Never too soon for the Tarpman!

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Nudge-nudge, wink-wink! We have to say, this seems like something new, since we’ve been hearing for years about how Barack Obama was a power-mad dictator in mom jeans who would inevitably destroy America unless We The People exercised our Second Amendment rights to prevent tyranny. But that’s merely taking sensible precautions to preserve Liberty. Haven’t these guys noticed that Donald Trump isn’t Kenyan? Still, it’s nice to see someone finally noticed that fantasies about murdering a president might be a bad thing.

    Amazing and precisely what I was thinking. YEARS of hearing these guys make hypotheticals about killing the blah guy and you libtards just can’t take a joke.
    But now it is a white guy so they are all the sudden serious.
    Fuck you, Serial killer radio. Fuck you with something sharp and votey.

    • bseifried

      Is a hanging chad sharp enough?

      • mancityfooty .

        A paper cut? I’ll get the lemon juice.

    • vivian

      Can it be a rusty vote?

    • Wee Mousie

      They are not pointy, but I can’t help feeling that a few dozen voting machines — Diebold, ES&S, Sequoia or SAIC — flung at their heads, might have a salubrious effect upon their political activities.

      That’s like saying “with votes,” isn’t it?

  • Professor Fate

    funny – he has yet to claim it was satire. Well give him time.

  • If Trump does win somehow, I only have one question. Can we begin impeachment proceedings before he takes office, or do we have to wait?

    • I don’t see why we have to wait. They’ve already started talking about Hillary’s impeachment, and she hasn’t even finished winning the nomination yet.

  • I Only Like Cats

    I wonder if Trump supporters are aware that some of Donald Trump’s rhetoric is going to be used at his impeachment trial…

    • ContextIsKey

      He’ll just use the Limbaugh Defense. “Hey, you shouldn’t have taken it seriously, I’m just an entertainer.”

      • Wee Mousie

        Which no doubt will satisfy the Russians when he sends bomber command to neutralize Putin’s house in a fit of pique.

  • I Only Like Cats

    How do they know his veep is going to be an improvement?

    • thixotropic jerk

      BECUAES HUCKERBLEEP IS TEH GRTEASEST THAS WHY TARDLIBBY11!!!!1 BWAHAHAHAHA YAR BRUNT!!1!!11!!11

      • TheGayAgenda

        Probably says a lot about the world that I felt the need to double check your comments feed to make sure that was satirical.

        • Wee Mousie

          I’ve take nothing as satire, because even if it is, it will be true in a week or two.

          When the Tea Party started, it looked to be a rich source of targets for satire. Who knew they would eventually put satirists out of business, because no matter oh much credibility was

          • H0mer0

            sort of like their seeing Orwell and Swift’s writing as “how-to” manuals instead of satire.

          • Wee Mousie

            I can quite easily see a Teahadist, or a Trumpeter, trying to push Swift’s Modest Proposal through congress.

          • Bear OmNomNom

            Lord knows the Tea Party would eat that up. Literally.

          • Wee Mousie

            Well, after all, “How To Serve Your Fellow Man” is a Teapublican primer.

          • Bear OmNomNom

            Sebastian Venable libelz!!1!

          • Bear OmNomNom

            See also too: Kissinger’s nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize.

          • Wee Mousie

            Not to mention Romania’s Vlad Draculea Humanitarian Award.

  • Joshua Norton

    It’s amazing how they’re continually shocked that their dog whistles keep attracting dogs.

    Go figure.

    • I think the bigger problem is someone sold them a faulty product. It’s actually a regular whistle that everyone else seems to be able to hear. Just file complaint at the Better Business Bure….oh wait that’s a government agency. Oh well, sucks to be you, Beck.

    • DemmeFatale

      Or, that if you lie down with dogs, you get fleas.

      (Poor dogs. They don’t deserve this.)

      • vivian

        no no no, you get “fleece”

    • gingerland62

      The Emperor is wise.

  • Gorillionaire

    It still seems to me that Beck et al aren’t really all that unhappy with Trump the man per se, it’s just that he got in the way of a real wingnutter like Cruz and then they feel pretty sure that he will lose and their real nemesis Hillary will win the election.

  • I’m late to the party. Did I miss the inevitable retort of how this is “proof” of how “unhinged” liberals are? Because that is part of the script for Republican Maleficence Part VIII.

  • jesuswasablack

    BecKKK will fall in line once Trump offers him some cash or a seat at the table. BecKKK is the Al-Sharpton of the right!
    http://www.truthrevolt.org/sites/default/files/styles/content_full_width/public/field/image/articles/al-sharpton-calling-for-protests.jpg?itok=UdFm_nkK

  • HogeyeGrex

    “Who will rid me of this troublesome priest short-fingered vulgarian?”

  • Lefty Frizzell

    This hinges on how seriously we are to take a fucking word said on the Beck show. Since I saw the paranoid loon standing on his desk, wearing lederhosen and fighting back the tears, I’ll say that’s “not very”. Still, the secret service should give Brad Thor a quick “Nugent” visit, just because.

  • Portia McGonagal

    But all of the conspiracy mongering and veiled ( or unveiled) threats against President Obama….zip nada zilch. Why might that be I wonder?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Brad Thor” is a gay porn name if I ever heard one.

    • Courser

      I’ve seen his name books in HUGE type. I always snicker.

      • Jared James

        Do any of them prominently feature dinosaur buttsex, or is that still a niche market?

        • Courser

          Naw, I don’t think so. I wiki’d him and he write’s ‘thrillers’, from the description, they sound kinda like Tom Clancy. I checked him out a number of years ago, confusing him with Greg Bear, who writes SFF.

          • Jared James

            Bummer. Because in my experience, the only one who wrote a good Tom Clancy thriller was Tom Clancy, and then only in the early years. After that, it was pretty much imitating what already worked (in both Tom Clancy and not-Tom Clancy’s case.)

          • H0mer0

            he got way too much mileage out of the name

        • Jamoche

          It’s a Hugo nominated niche market these days.

    • So I said, “I AM THOR!” and he said: “You’re Thor? I’m tho thore I can hardly thit down!”

    • zerosumgame0005

      not that there’ anything wrong with that!

    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Yeah, but kinda like gay porn comedy. I mean “Brad Thor”????

      • Bear OmNomNom

        You’d be surprised. Some of the names really ARE that… uh… ham-fisted. Heh-heh.

    • Playonwords

      The thunder god went riding by
      upon his snow white filly
      “I’m Thor,” he cried
      The horse replied “You forgot your thaddle, thilly,”

      • Wee Mousie

        A thunder god came mincing out of the woods.
        I’m Thor,” he declared, to all and sundry.
        “You’re thor,” questioned a maiden making her egress from the woods along the same path as the thunder god, “I’m tho thor I can hardly thtand.”

      • H0mer0

        riding bareback, eh?

  • DemmeFatale

    Silly sheeples!
    Do I have to spell out everything for you?!
    Trump is white and Obama is blah!
    Don’t you understand Becki-becki-beckistan-ese?
    Gah!!!1!!!

  • mailman27

    Are we doomed? We’re not, are we? Surely not.

    • Objectifer

      ‘Fraid so.

      • Gregory Brown

        Dr. Smith!

        • gingerland62

          His purple velour stirrup pants haunt my dreams.

          • Gregory Brown

            I still can hear his quavering voice as he offers young Will Robinson up to the possibly hostile aliens: “Take the boy!”

  • Raysa_Lite

    So now, they are threatening to kill each other?

    These old racist white guys, I mean.

    • Jared James

      It’s a diversity outreach program!

      • Raysa_Lite

        How very inclusive!

        • H0mer0

          Big Tent inclusive

    • ContextIsKey

      It does sound like a win-win scenario for everyone else.

  • WhyFelicia

    I thought they only wanted to kill black Presidents. Has their Circle of Rage Monkey Hatred been expanded to include Orange-Americans, too?

    • Michael Kelley

      orange-an-itan

      • Querolous

        In the land of Trumpanzees the Orangeatan takes the lead.

      • gingerland62

        I feel like we are insulting a few primates in this thread, though the orangutans were the poop throwers at the SF zoo so it does sort of fit.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Beta carotene enhanced persons of questionable origin.

    • CynicalOptimist

      Oompa Loompican?

    • Doug Langley

      Please! Tangelo-American!

  • hashtagbob

    Sure he just meant a military coup to save the democracy like they used to have in Turkey (sigh – the good old days in Turkey)

    • Playonwords

      Trouble is that Turkeys will never vote for Thanksgiving

      • mrpuma2u

        Or after Thanksgiving

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          True, all they can do after Thanksgiving is make soup.

          • handyhippie65

            what about cold turkey sammiches, and turkey tetrazini?

          • Lamashtar

            Upvoted because I am on a post-surgical diet and have been fantasizing about all the turkey sammiches I cannot eat.

          • handyhippie65

            bummerrama. good luck on your recovery.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos

    Glenn who?

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Wasn’t he like, the fifth Beetle or something, but they drummed him out for crying too much or he could only play the kazoo? Long story short, he’s dumb is what I’m saying.

  • Shibusa

    One of my siblings has devolved into a gun-humping militia (as if) boob who thinks he needs a home arsenal to fight gubmint tyranny. The rest of us roll our eyes.

    • Gregory Brown

      Sorry for your loss. And sorry for his loss … of sanity.

    • Rickyphoo

      Got one just like that. Just shake my head when he starts going on about the feds taking his guns.

    • bluicebank

      I miss the olden days when Dad’s arsenal was just in case the Mongol hordes crested yon hill.

  • Jim

    Nice facial hair, you cum-vaping bible fetishist.

    • H0mer0

      I thought he “fetishes” the Book of Mormon ; however, props on the creative writing invoking imagery (doesn’t have to necessarily be tasteful imagery.) My tenth grade composition teacher would be pleased.

  • beatbort

    It’s different when they’re joking about taking out a white man in the White House.
    Doesn’t count with the 8 years of similarly veiled threats against President Obama.

    • gingerland62

      Veiled? They have no subtlety.

    • Stulexington

      Or that time he called on the populace to rise up in response to something the president did … or that other time?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Thor got hammered?

    bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhhahhahahaha

  • Shoto

    First, Beck loses his gig at CNN, then he loses his gig at Fox Fearotainment “News,” and now Sirius XM “suspends” him. That’s gotta be some sort of record, right? If we’re lucky, the Sirius XM suspension will become permanent. Enough with this lunatic, already.

  • Mavenmaven

    Shrink, I want to kill I want to kill!

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Yeah yeah, but first we have to murder…

    • bluicebank

      As long as it’s done in harmony.

  • MrCanoehead

    Gerrymandering, voter suppression, Citizens United, “Second Amendment remedies”. The right wing just HATES democracy. ANYTHING to keep the people from selecting their own representatives.

  • Annie Towne

    Wait, what? Thor is coming to maybe kill Donald Trump? Is he bringing Loki, cuz if so, he should drop the boy at my place. After that, he can do whatever he wants.

    • lurch394

      Heavens! What would Odin say?

      • WIDTAP

        Probably something like this:

    • elpinche

      Can i watch and do stuff?

  • Jason Freeman

    Haha. Bet you thought that the 1st amendment means you can say whatever you want. It’s true. You are free to do so. But, you are also free to suffer the consequences for what you say. Unless you are in a court room and LITERALLY being prosecuted for your speech, you have nothing to complain about. I am extra hateful because I hate you Glenn Beck and you have also made me sort of agree with you at a very base level about Trump. My only regret is that none of your fans have the balls to make that happen. Too bad.

  • SeanT1001

    To be fair, you can’t hear someone wink over the radio. That’s about as fair as I want to get to either Beck or Trump. I just thought if anyone was going to kill Trump it was going to be Beck. He seems the type. Weirdly though, I figured Trump would have hired him as a press secretary (after he called Limbaugh a fat loser).

  • Flodurn

    “I love the poorly educated!” -Donald Trump

  • Rickyphoo

    Sounds kinda similar to, “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?”

    As I remember, that did not work out well for either party.

  • calliecallie

    Sometimes, as I read through all these comments, I forget what the original post was about.

  • MOG253

    Why is this the ONLY way they seem to know how to disagree with people, by killing them? No love here for Drumpf, but this is getting so old.

  • mary5920

    Glenn Beck has always advocated for violins. He’s got onions enough to cry himself a river, about all the bad things such as Obamacare and Muslims and the taking over of the entire universe (except for planet Kolob) by the bad people. Now Siruis is shutting off his crying spigot and his FREEDUMBS!!!

  • elpinche

    Aw, look at those sad pig eyes.

  • bluicebank

    Somewhere out there an eagle remains perched, … waiting patiently.

  • Sakonyachen

    I think this may just be an excuse to dump Glenn Beck without alienating the wing nuts.

    • Frank Underboob

      I hope so.

  • Daniel G Calcinari

    What a sack of shit this entire site is.

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