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Can we agree that the baby being OK is a good thing? Maybe we can agree on that.
Can we agree that the baby being OK is a good thing? Maybe we can agree on that.

A three-year-old boy fell into a gorilla exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo Saturday, and after a 400-pound male Western lowland silverback gorilla grabbed the child, zookeepers shot the endangered animal dead. The boy was rescued and reportedly unharmed. The internet spent a large portion of its time over the weekend screaming at whomever it decided was the worst responsible party: The boy’s mother, for letting her child get away from her; the zookeepers, who should have done something other than shoot an endangered animal; the zoo designers, who should have put up a fence that small children couldn’t crawl under, and possibly the boy’s father, who wasn’t even there but is black and has a criminal record, so there you go. Yr Wonkette is not enough of an authority on lowland gorilla behavior to say whether the zookeepers made the right decision, but we’re certainly familiar enough with the behavior of H. sapiens to be disgusted all around, which is what we’re good at.

Cellphone video taken shortly after the boy got past a fence and fell 10 feet into the moat surrounding the gorilla habitat shows the boy in a corner of the enclosure; the gorilla, a 17-year old adult male named Harambe, grabs the boy and rapidly pulls him through the water, then pauses, stands the boy up for a moment, and then grabs the boy by the ankle and pulls him into another corner of the moat. You may not want to watch this.

After the phone video ended, the gorilla took the boy to the upper part of the habitat, and members of the zoo’s emergency response team shot the gorilla dead. And then the internet went apeshit, with experts who’ve watched a lot of nature shows explaining gorillas are peaceful gentle creatures who have in the past taken care of children who’ve fallen into their enclosures, that the zoo should have used a tranquilizer dart, or that the entire mess was mismanaged. Most zoo officials who have commented say this was a considerably different situation and that the gorilla was agitated — possibly made worse by all the humans screaming — and that the moments in the video where Harambe appears to be taking care of the boy don’t outweigh the immediate danger the boy was in, like being flung around by the 400-pound primate. We’ll let the New York Times handle that part:

The zoo said in a statement that the decision to use lethal force had been a difficult one. A tranquilizer would have taken several minutes to neutralize the animal, prolonging the risk. The dart could also agitate the animal, the zoo said, and cause a violent reaction.

“The zoo security team’s quick response saved the child’s life,” the zoo’s director, Thane Maynard, said. “We are all devastated that this tragic accident resulted in the death of a critically endangered gorilla. This is a huge loss for the zoo family and the gorilla population worldwide.”

The internet was also quick to accuse the child’s mother of being the worst parent ever, endangering her kid (and probably being on welfare) by being inattentive and just generally the worst, because somebody has to be blamed in absolute terms:

Three days after her 4-year-old son[*] plummeted 20 feet into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exhibit, after animal rights activists blamed her alleged poor parenting for the death of a beloved, endangered ape named Harambe, then called on child protective services to investigate her, the boy’s mother became the Internet’s most reviled mom.

Authorities have not yet released the name of the child who tumbled into the Gorilla World exhibit Saturday afternoon, nor have they identified his parents. But the Internet doesn’t care about these sorts of formalities.

A mob of online parenting critics mobilized over the holiday weekend, lambasting a nameless figure they were convinced had neglected her child inside the zoo Saturday and was to blame for the events that transpired.

*NBC News says the boy is three, and that earlier reports had misidentified him as being a big grown-up four-year-old. Damned if we know.

The Washington Post declined to identify the woman, saying only that internet vigilantes flooded a Facebook post by a woman who posted a message thanking God her child had survived; she later shut down her Facebook account, as did a preschool where she may have worked, after it too became the target of angry messages. People were especially angry that the woman’s Facebook message was focused on the safety of her child, without sufficient remorse over the death of Harambe.

Other women who share her name on social media received threatening messages intended for her, attacks that called her “scum,” “a really bad mother” and a “f‑‑‑ing killer.”

“that animal is more important than your s‑‑‑ kid,” one man messaged.

Another woman wrote: “u should’ve been shot.”

Also, there were memes, which have overtaken pictures of Calvin pissing on things as America’s premier form of public discourse:

harambe meme

Needless to say, a lot of people have had some really charming thoughts about the fact that the family is black; The Daily Mail ran a terrific story about how the child’s father had a “lengthy criminal record,” although the dad was not at the zoo that day. So he’s either an irresponsible parent, or maybe he passed on criminal genes to the toddler. The Daily Mail drooled over the man’s charges for “burglary, firearms offences, drug trafficking, criminal trespass, disorderly conduct and kidnap,” although it did note that

in recent years he appears to have turned his life around to become the proud father of four.

Indeed, the majority of his postings to the social media site are updates of his children and his working life.

Fox & Friends had thoughts on the incident, too, mentioning the Daily Mail story four times in a discussion of whether the parents should be jailed for causing the death of a beloved zoo animal:

“The father has a long rap sheet, including drugs and kidnapping charges,” Fox News host Abby Huntsman noted at the beginning of the program.

“Some say the parents need to be charged,” co-host Ainsley Earhardt later told wildlife expert Grant Kemmerer, “bringing up the dad’s past criminal history who wasn’t even there at the zoo at the time.”

And Brian Kilmeade began his interview with animal expert Jeff Corwin by posing a similar question.

“Some blame the parents of the child, calling them neglectful as reports surface the father has a lengthy criminal history,” Kilmeade said. “Is someone to blame here or was this just a tragic accident?”

“It’s a tragic event,” Corwin advised. “And it’s really hard for us Tuesday morning to kind of tell them what they should have done.”

Oops, and Fox & Friends also neglected to mention the bit about him turning his life around. So yes, one of the worst tabloids around managed to provide more context in its sensationalist coverage than Fox News did.

You’ll be delighted to know that Wildlife Expert Donald Trump has weighed in on the matter, offering his expertise:

“I thought it was so beautiful to watch that powerful, almost 500-pound gorilla, the way he dealt with that little boy,” He [sic] said, referring to moments in crowd-shot videos in which the gorilla appeared protective of the child. “But it just takes one second. It’s one second. It’s not like it takes place over, well, ‘he’s going to do it 30 seconds from now.’ It takes one little flick of his finger, and I will tell you, they probably had no choice.”

We suppose Donald Trump actually might have some valuable insights into the risks posed by a volatile, mercurial alpha male primate.

The cheerful red-meat-dispensers at Dead Breitbart’s Home For Race Baiting got right to the point about how stupid black people are, finding three whole tweets blaming the shooting of the gorilla on “white privilege” before the child was identified as a black kid, and aren’t Those People dumm? Needless to say, the wits were out in force in the comments on that story and another on the Cincinnati zoo; while most of the outrage was focused on the HORRIBLE PARENTS, there were nonetheless plenty of wags who just loved the hilarity of a dead gorilla, because HAW HAW black people are like gorillas!!!! (We’ve smooshed our screengrabs together here to present a collection of Breitbartians’ finest efforts from both stories):

Comments collected by Wonkette Operative Michael Rush
Comments collected by Wonkette Operative Michael Rush

harambe breitbart 1

Fortunately, the child did not fall into a pit at Breitbart, where there appears to be little in the way of responsible supervision. Yr Wonkette is once again wistful our species isn’t more closely related to bonobos, who instead of fighting in stressful situations, restore social tranquility by simply fucking a lot.

[NBC / NYT / WaPo / ABC News / Cincinnati.com / RawStory / Cincinnati.com / Breitbart / Breitbart redux]

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  • Metadude

    You just knew someone would blame Obama.

    • The Wanderer

      Can I blame Obama for the sun being too hot today?

      • Jay Vaughn

        Does a crazy survivalist shit in a coffee can?

        • The Wanderer

          I dunno, but I know that crazy sovereign citizens shit in archeological sites.

        • BearGHAZI

          If he has his complimentary dildo on hand

      • natoslug

        Thanks, Obama!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “His foreign policy is an example of the weak force in action, so sure.”

        –Rare conservative who passed physics

  • anwisok
    • The Wanderer

      Yes, we need cuteness.

    • IT LOOKIT MY BABBY! SHOOT IT!

    • baconzgood

      Where’d you get Baconz baby picture?

    • SlickTrixie

      Today, for me, these don’t work. I hate that an animal got killed because a human was stupid. These cute pix just remind me.

  • h4rr4r

    The person to blame here is whoever designed the enclosure. If it can’t keep a child out, you failed.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “It was designed to keep things in, we never thought about out.”

      — Enclosure design guy

      • h4rr4r

        Then you only solved 50% of the problem. A 50% is generally considered a failing grade.

      • What is things you never want to hear from a condom manufacturer, Alex.

    • arealbaby

      You sound like Ian Malcolm talking to John Hammond, and now I’m gonna have a full-on Goldblum-style Lady Boner.

  • Jay Vaughn

    This is the most internet story ever. Like it’s got unjustified outrage, animals, and racism. Fucking trifecta right there.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      It would be more internety if the gorilla was named Apey McApeface.

      • Jay Vaughn

        Dude this is internet, everything is Xy McXface.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          Forget it, Jakey McJakeface. It’s Internet town.

    • Logic of Color

      All it’s missing is a cat.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Next we’ll be hearing all over the internet about that one gorilla who had a kitten. Thanks, Logic!

        • DT

          And that gorilla ripped out a sink from a wall One-Flew-Over-The-Cuckoo’s-Nest style, and blamed it on said kitten.

    • Bureaucrap

      And Donald Trump sharing his opinion on the matter even though no one asked him about it.

      • Blank Ron

        If Der Drumpf waited until he was asked before giving his opinion about things, he’d never open his mouth.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    No one has developed a moat design sufficient to make the Dead Breitbart sites safe for public viewing.

  • SuspectedDemocrat
  • MarkM

    Because we all know that no white three-year-old has ever done anything he wasn’t supposed to! And that (white) people with no criminal records have a 100% perfect record of safe, responsible parenting! And Faux News hosts are disgusting, disingenuous pieces of shit…

    • Pam Hyland

      Everyone always wants to blame the mother for these kinds of things, but everyone forgets that toddlers teleport. You look away for half a second and the kid has managed to get 50 ft from you.
      I put mine on a leash when she was that age to prevent that sort of thing, but some people think it’s “degrading” because a toddler is “not a dog”. Even though training a dog and training a toddler are really similar.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Toddlers shed a little less, and dogs are less likely to draw on the walls with crayon, but yes, there are many similarities. :-)

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        News reports here said she had an infant in her arms at the time, too. So obviously she was a terrible mother for reproducing again before she had the first one raised. These people make me headdesk.

        • theCryptofishist

          And if that second child was unplanned…

      • DT

        It’s in no way degrading, they’re just the type of people who need to maintain an artificial separation between “us” and “animals” because their own reasoning faculties do not sufficiently differentiate them on their own.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        My parents put me on a leash, too! Granted, I had a twin a sister and another sister only two years older. And older sis was one of those mischief-making yougin’s with a one-word vocabulary (“No!”). So… yeah… totally understand why the wrist-leashes were useful.

        • Pam Hyland

          Mine loved her leash. She could walk around a bit more than if we were holding hands or if she was in a stroller.

  • Callyson

    You may not want to watch this.

  • limberrat

    Gotta say Brietbart has some real English Majors in their ranks “didn’t never hurt nobody” is amazing literary work.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Maybe it was satire? lol

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Triple negative is still a negative, right?”

      –Wordy McGrammarpants

    • doktorzoom

      No, you see, they’re making fun of how Those People talk after a black kid gets shot for being a thug. And there are no non-thug black kids, including the survivor of this event, who acording to Breitbart commenters was just one more ape in the enclosure HAW HAW.

      • clubseal

        I almost can’t comprehend how commonplace their behavior has become. I’d buy you a gallon of beer to help write about it, if I thought it would help.

  • The Wanderer

    I wonder how these racist buttfuckers would have acted if the animal had grabbed the kid by the legs and played Wishbone with him.
    And maybe it would have been better if we had the bonobos’ conflict resolution skills. “Tensions are ratcheting up between Germany and Poland! Let’s have an orgy to calm things down!”

    • natoslug

      No need to wonder. They would have cheered him on.

    • Skadi

      Unfortunately, wars are often started by the type of people no one wants to invite to an orgy.

      (Not to mention assassinations–remember “Charles Git Out?”)

      • WomanComingHome

        I take it you’ve read Assassination Vacation?

        • Skadi

          That assumption would be correct. ;o-)

          I take it you’ve read Le Guin’s Always Coming Home?

          • WomanComingHome

            Yes. As I said on another thread, l would love to live in Sinshan until this bloody election is over. And another reason to love Wonkette – you’re the third person to know where the name came from. I thought that it would be a teensy, weensy bit obscure. Dammit, you are all loyal, funny as hell, vile, snarky and well-read. Here I was thinking that I would be enigmatic…..yeah, great plan.

            Assassination Vacation is a fabulous read, but I must admit to a mild case of the willies. She talks about *the current president* meaning George that motherfucker W Bush, and when I read it now, I can’t help but think of Barak Obama. I cannot believe that we have come this far into his presidency without a serious attempt on him or his family. Maybe that is the wee tiny brush of silver on the shitstorm clouds that have been the news cycle today.

            Or maybe the news has just sucked, and I need another glass of wine. And to play with my dog.

          • Skadi

            I heartily recommend wine and a dog.

            And then possibly cute videos of dogs.

          • WomanComingHome

            You are wise, and I shall take your words to heart.

          • AlasAnAss

            Ah, dang. Give an ass a clue as to the origin of your name?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Being yet another internet observer with an opinion and no particular expertise, I will say I’m in the “crowd loudly freaking out and disturbing the gorilla was a big part of the problem” camp. People are dumb, and crowds of people are especially so.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Nietzsche made an observation similar to that over a century ago.

      • Jay Vaughn

        No, that was Tommy Lee Jones and it was 19 years ago.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Isaac Asimov wrote a story once about a planet full of people who became calmer and saner when in large groups. Now, that’s alien…

      • Blank Ron

        Shortly after HIS three-year-old fell into a gorilla enclosure.

    • nightmoth

      That was the only observation I made about it, as well. I strongly suspect that the crowd of human primates screaming for 10 minutes escalated the situation.

  • TeeRaak

    I bet I can build a fence kids can’t get over.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/dHdSMxQAFHp9S/200w.gif
    Pick it? Boy can he!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Racist fucks at Faux Noise behave like racist fucks. Racist fucks at Breitbart behave like racist fucks.

    Film at 11.

    • natoslug

      I am not a fan of racist fuck films.

      • clubseal

        No doubt that genre exists.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Rule 34 rulz!

  • BigCSouthside

    Don’t worry. Trump will build a big beautiful wall around the gorillas and make them pay for it.

  • natoslug

    I need a tranq gun if I’m expected to wade into Breitbart comments.

  • Finally, something the commentariat can yell at each other over other than Hillary versus Bernie.

    (Seriously, animal rights mixed with race and parenting? Jesus, it’s going to blow!)

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      It’s not like they did a story on tastes great vs. less filling now.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Apple computers suck!! Oh, wait, I thought you….nevermind…

        • However, after years of being a Netizen nothing, and I mean nothing, beats the hundred-comment argument I saw (and actually had the good sense not to participate in, for once) with a dozen people versus one pendant who refused to accept that anyone should be allowed to use the verb “decimate” unless they LITERALLY mean one in ten being killed or destroyed.

          • Skadi

            There’s a surviving account from the Dark Ages about two scholars arguing about the Latin frequentative form of to be for two weeks, supposedly without food or sleep. In the end it came to knives.

          • That’s fantastic. I’ll need to keep that on my list of historic examples to bring out when people say that the Internet has destroyed empathy and civility.

          • Skadi

            Ha, I underestimated–Vergilius Maro says it was fifteen days and nights, rather than fourteen.

            He also says it was like watching two sea monsters thrown up on the beach by a catastrophic storm have an ultimate battle to the death, which is clearly proof the ancients knew about Godzilla and Rodan.

          • thixotropic jerk

            Not to mention the death by overly politenessness of Tycho Brahe

            http://www.livescience.com/24835-astronomer-tycho-brahe-death.html

          • Querolous

            That makes me gruntle.

  • Bemused

    You know, sometimes bad things happen. People do their best, there’s no perfect solution, and bad stuff happens. Why do we always need to find someone to blame for every bad thing? (human nature, the answer is human nature, but it sucks anyway.)

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I try to remind myself of that, using Meryl Streep’s voice from “Postcards from the Edge” : “Must we assess blame?”

    • HogeyeGrex

      About the only thing I’m sure of here is that it wasn’t the fucking gorilla’s fault.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Nor, really, the child’s.
        Funny how the one potentially harmed and the one dead one are faultless in this as everyone on the internet point at whom to blame.

    • Serai 1

      Yeah, even all the carping about the fence design. Does anyone REALLY think that the designers of a fence for a ZOO wouldn’t have thought about kids trying to climb it? Really? We have no idea how that kid got through that fence, so bitching about the design is the same level of crap as bitching about the mother.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I said it earlier, there is no fence nor barrier than a 4 year old cannot figure out how to navigate around, short of a solid wall with no seams nor handholds.
        But wanting a better design is really not the same as blaming the mother. There is obviously a problem with the fence as is; study the problem, fix that problem. Wait for the next one.

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          As long as Mexico pays for it…

        • Serai 1

          And that’s exactly what they’re going to do, and would have done. The internet mob – as always – is completely unnecessary.

          Gods, humans are such fuckwads.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’m assuming it was built in the 30s, because it seems to be that sort of grotto design–from verbal descriptions. I’d add, that there are thousands, and hundreds of thousands of people whop’ve been tot he zoo, and didn’t get into the enclosure. Yes, one is one too many, but perfection isn’t possible.

  • Msmlg1979

    Rasict assumptions are more fun than facts, though.

    • Tendernob

      Black men are violent.
      Black men are criminal.
      Black men are neglectful parents.

      The three-headed talking couch just made a talking point to its mouthbreathing knuckledragging audience. Lap it up, toadies!

    • baconzgood

      Bigots gotta bigot

      • Msmlg1979

        They seem so gleeful to have the opportunity to say those things..

        • Serai 1

          The internet has given every poisonous thought a nice bright place to shine.

  • Skwerl King

    I’m sure in a few hours we’ll find out that the child’s great uncle once removed once helped out in a Black Panther food drive, and it should have been the child who was shot. Because fuck it all.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The child has a community organizer as a relative.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I don’t recommend reading the comments, because there are already “people” suggesting that the child should have been shot.
      Fuck me, some days I want off this planet.

      • Serai 1

        I want off this planet every day, but something usually changes my mind. This week isn’t looking good.

  • Tendernob

    There’s always criminal culpability when it comes to a brown person who wasn’t even there, but when a white toddler gets hold of a handgun, it’s just a “tragic accident.” LOGICS!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, too, the parents of said child have already been punished enough.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        That shit has rankled with me since I was a kid. Some white/rich/important dude gets caught doing something I’d get eternity in Leavenworth for, and the embarrassment and loss of face and position are deemed appropriate punishment, and why can’t we just leave Chauncey alooooooone!…

        • Nancyffore2

          “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet $98/hr”…..!ti1012ur

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    • NellCote71

      You nailed it! Toddlers shooting themselves and each other. No harm, no foul if the are white.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    This just makes me sad all the way around. No snark. Sniffle, sniffle.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Just remember that the child survived, and was not hurt.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Yes. That had to ahve been pretty scary stuff. I cannot look at the video.

  • My question is: how was that enclosure for dangerous animals built so that a 3-year-old could get into it?

    • anon_the_great

      Never been around a three year old boy have ya? They put Houdini to shame.

      • h4rr4r

        Please tell me how they climb 8 foot lexan walls. Reasonably built zoos have this figured out.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I mean, childproofing houses have worked pretty well so I don’t see how a zoo that was probably designed by multiple people with degrees could have missed something so obvious as, “could a child get in? Yes? Well then we’ll have to make it better.”

  • baconzgood

    We had a similar situation in Pittsburgh (about 2 or 3 years ago) where a child fell in a pen full of wild dogs. The child wasn’t so lucky. I rember that all sorts of blame went around. It didn’t bring the kid back.

    These trolls are bad people. Also too Cincinnati sucks and is full of douche bags.

    • beatbort

      The same could probably be said of Cincinnati.

    • Logic of Color

      Some towns are actually thinking of getting rid of their pits full of wild dogs! How lame is that?

      • dansezlajavanaise

        nanny state.

  • MrBlobfish

    Bill O’Reilly will be a laugh tonight.

    • jmk

      Oh good dawg, I never considered that.

      I know the dude across the street watches him …now every dog in the neighborhood will be howling because of the whistles.

  • therblig

    “The father has a long rap sheet, including drugs and kidnapping charges…”

    what, no gorilla warfare?

    • Tendernob

      GET OFF THE STAGE

    • Spotts1701

      Next contestant please…

    • Serai 1

      Let’s have a round of applause for therblig! He’ll be here all week. Tell your friends.

      • therblig

        try your waiters and tip the veal!

  • Jay Vaughn

    It makes me really sad one of those racist fucks has a Bender avatar. Bender knows all colors of meatbags are equally inferior.

    • clubseal

      I’m probably a terrible person, but that also bothered me more than it should have.

  • Bitter Scribe

    But racism is over in this country, remember?

    • Serai 1

      Hell, it never existed! Just a plot to undermine the Confidence Of The White Man! HARRUMPH!!!

    • dansezlajavanaise

      yeah, it’s just a political correctness issue. someone said that in the facebook comments.

  • Andrew of MO

    Watching the video was the least disturbing part of this article.

    Lord. My son has autism. In 2014, he vanished while with his great aunt and his grandfather. He walked over a mile in the direction of home. He was found, and was safe. When asked why he took off, he said he was “walking.” We ended up having a visit from child welfare to confirm that our son was safe and cared for.

    I have no idea what happened with this child and his mother. I am glad he is safe. I am glad my kid is safe. When it comes to children, a split second can change everything. Even for the Parents of the Year judging this family.

    We did likely have one advantage when t came to police and children’s services: we are white.

    • Logic of Color

      I lost my kid at the Boardwalk for a few minutes many years ago. I still have nightmares about that.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Could have Baltic Ave, so count yourself lucky. :-)

        • Villago Delenda Est

          “The slums of the light blue streets”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        My son went into the bathroom at a store one time without telling me he was going; he was 10 or so at the time and I had the ABSOLUTE WORST 8-10 minutes of my life worrying about him. He was fine, and not in harm’s way; I can’t imagine what it would be like for a mother to see her toddler fall into a gorilla enclosure (even to fall 10 feet into water, minus gorillas!) and be helpless to do anything about it. But having the entire internet commentariat decide you’re a horrible parent who deserves to lose custody of all your kids would surely make the whole thing all but unbearable.

        • Lady Bug

          Not to mention a portion of the internet decide that the life of your son is worth less than the gorilla and that saving of your son’s life wasn’t worth the “sacrifice” of shooting the gorilla.

          • dansezlajavanaise

            that is truly one of the saddest aspects of this story.

      • Andrew of MO

        I am sorry about that. It is terrifying.

    • theCryptofishist

      Maybe they are all suppressing those times when their kids got away, and that’s why they have to be so passionate.

      And fuck me, I’ve Pinkhamed.

  • clubseal

    Perhaps this can be a lesson about jumping to conclusions on the internet. Ha ha, who am I kidding? This is the same internet that turned someone into a misogynist villain for saying he didn’t want to see the new Ghostbusters, and it’s the same internet that produced those cringeworthy racist quotes above.
    Guess I’ll go eat worms.

    • DT

      Wait, who was “turned into” a misogynist villain for saying that? Because I bet he was “turned into” a misogynistic villain because the WAY he said it was, in fact, misogynistic.

      • clubseal

        I bet you bet that.

        • Serai 1

          So answer the question. Put your money where your mouth is.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Don’t mind club, he’s like that.

  • Riggsveda

    Just goes to show there is no tragedy that can’t be made worse by the tender ministrations of the Florence Nightingales of the internet. You could call it the window tint effect: anonymity = assholes.

    • clubseal

      The internet: Humanity’s glory hole.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Another thing TV has taught us that just ain’t so: Tranquilizer darts are not instantly incapacitating.

    • Logic of Color
    • Spotts1701

      They can tranq a wild animal in the wild, because even if it does take a while to work they can maintain distance so no one gets hurt. Not so in an enclosed space with another person’s safety at risk.

    • Serai 1

      Just like stabbing a person once in the gut will not make them immediately fall down dead. Or shooting him in the gut, for that matter.

      • nightmoth

        But if you’re a Good Guy, you can take any number of shots and punches and just keep on going.

  • Serai 1

    Christ, I can’t read that shit. I saw enough of it yesterday without even trying. Don’t you love backseat drivers?

    • sw19womble

      I think that’s a disgusting thing to say about backseat drivers, who are only trying to help. You should kill yourself.

      • Serai 1

        Oh, yeah? YOU FIRST LIBTARD!!!

      • clubseal

        I couldn’t find a better screen grab of this guy backseat driving in Police Academy. Internet fail.

      • theCryptofishist

        With a can of clams!

  • natoslug

    If there is one thing Internet commenters excel at, it is making a bad situation worse. Yay, us! Or, in this case, yay, Breitbartian (may his corpse continue to molder, ramen) troglodytes!

  • anon_the_great

    When I learn Americans scream at a mother for thanking God and the Authorities for saving the life of her child I say Vote Trump. We are horrible people

  • I Only Like Cats

    My first thought was, “Gorillas aren’t aggressive why’d they’d shoot it?” and honestly I’m still not convinced they couldn’t have safely tranq’d it.

    • Skadi

      You’d think they’d have a plan a better plan in place for such situations…especially since their enclosure seems unable to keep anybody everybody out.

      • anon_the_great

        And yet 1.799 million visitors of the Zoo managed NOT to fall in. Clearly a failure on a massive scale. Somebody call Alex Jones

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Let’s just not and say we did.

        • I Only Like Cats

          I don’t know about you, but I consider one toddler falling in a massive failure. Zoo railing openings should not be spaced like balcony openings, and it only takes the mother turning around or trying to buy the kid a souvenir with the kid escaping to cause a tragedy.

          • anon_the_great

            Do you have children b/c it sure feels like you don’t know shit about toddlers.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Especially a little baby person. Didn’t they consider design flaws at all?

      • Andrew of MO

        Not to step on anon_the_great’s response, I did want to point out that the zoo had a plan in place, and worked according to that plan.

      • DT

        And since they did, I don’t see the problem.

    • anon_the_great

      Unless you have a Masters degree in animal husbandry with a specialty in anesthesia please shut the Hell up, m’kay?

      • I Only Like Cats

        Does watching Kangaroo Jack a thousand times and researching poisons and chemicals on my own count?

        • anon_the_great

          Ya got me troll. My bad

      • animal husbandry

        Now THAT’S a slippery slope!

        • anon_the_great

          When done right…

        • Blank Ron

          Which is why it’s important that the step-stool be level and placed on firm ground.

      • h4rr4r

        No, but I can make a fence that a 4 year old cannot defeat.

        • anon_the_great

          That’s nice. Non-sequitur, but nice.

          • h4rr4r

            No, a big part of animal husbandry is keeping the animals and the humans safe.

        • Serai 1

          LOLOL. You’ve never met my niece.

          • h4rr4r

            She can pass through solid glass? Or is she a spider that can climb it?

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          There is no such thing. It does not exist in this universe.

          • h4rr4r

            Solid glass wall, 12 feet high. The local zoo has them.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I live close enough to Cincinnati to have seen a lot of media reporting on this, and from what I could see, the gorilla was becoming more and more agitated as people shrieked and screamed in the background; he was also dragging the child by the ankle through water. If tranquilizers were instant-acting that might have worked, but again, just going by what the news reports said, quoting zoo officials, the tranquilizers take pretty long to work and can cause even more aggressive behavior. The zoo’s spokespeople were obviously upset and devastated by having to shoot the gorilla. I’m sure if there’d been some other way, they would have taken it.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I believe you and I understand what other people are saying too (although it does seem weird they didn’t have a plan in place, people were getting hysterical which would obviously escalate and a child could slip through the bars)

        • DT

          They DID have a plan in place. This was it.

          • I Only Like Cats

            … Then it sucks that a better plan wasn’t possible.

          • DT

            Yes, yes it does.

        • anon_the_great

          But the Zoo authorities DID have a plan in place. They executed it and saved the life of an innocent child. Your problem is you don’t like the plan. Fair enough, but don’t be sayin’ shit that just ain’t true.

        • ahughes798

          Yeah, like zoo employees could have moved everybody away from the area until the situation was under control. The hysterical crowd is what agitated the gorilla.

          • dansezlajavanaise

            but first, they had to get there! they are no more capable of teleportation than the kid’s parents who tried to catch him before he fell over the drop.

    • Marceline

      You know how tranquilizers come with the warning “Do not drive or operate machinery?” That’s why they couldn’t have tranq-ed him. He could’ve killed that kid 20 times over before the drug took effect and even when it did he could’ve passed out on top of the kid.

      • Serai 1

        Damn, that is a good point. What if they’d tranked him and he’d fallen on top of the kid and crippled or killed him? THEN the SAME fucking trolls would be screaming about WHY DIDN’T THEY SHOOT HIM?

        Except the PETA fuckwads, of course. They’d be celebrating the death of another worthless piece of human garbage. DEATH TO HUMANITY!!!

      • dansezlajavanaise

        that’s a point that an actual, live former gorilla keeper made, actually. if they had tranq’d him in the moat where he stood, he would have drowned, possibly trapping the kid under him, who would have drowned as well.

        they tried to get him to come in out of the exhibit by calling (and offering treats?), but he wouldn’t. the females did, but harambe stayed outside, with his new toy.

    • clubseal

      A gorilla doesn’t have to be aggressive to kill a small child (or adult human), though. They’re big, strong, and they might just kill a rabbit by accident while petting it.

      • thixotropic jerk

        “George, tell me about the rabbits…”

        • NellCote71

          …signifying nothing

          • thixotropic jerk

            …or everything

      • Serai 1

        NO, THEY WOULDN’T!!! Gorillas LOVE little things and would never hurt them! I saw it in a BUGS BUNNY CARTOON!!!

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Koko killed her kitten that time.

      • theCryptofishist

        Tell me about the rabbits, George.

    • The Wanderer

      “Gorillas aren’t aggressive.” Any wild animal will go sideways on you, and for no readily discernible reason.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I know but generally in stories like this the gorilla will just take care of it until the child is rescued. I suppose in most of the stories I’ve heard the situation wasn’t already aggravated and it wasn’t the alpha male and people weren’t all surrounding it and screaming.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Agreed – chances are the gorilla wouldn’t have hurt the kid. But “chances are” just ain’t good enough. I love animals and consider all simians to be siblings of sorts. But if it had been my kid, I would have been training that scope faster than you can say ‘gorilla’.

          • I Only Like Cats

            I agree. Now that the gorillas gone the internet is screaming at the mother, who must be going through hell, and I hope she and the child are OK. It’s a sad story and hopefully the zoo will be renovated to prevent kids getting in the enclosures.

          • LaylaOhGee

            From WaPo : “the facility is inspected by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Association of Zoos and Aquariums and that the enclosure barriers exceed recommendations”

            NYT: Zoo guy in charge states that the same barrier system haS been in place for 38 years, and this is the first and only breech.

            I am 100% percent certain that the barrier was more secure than a split rail fence and some chicken wire.

            In the past, on the rare occasions that a child has fallen and then was “protected” by one of the primates, the protector is almost always a female. Sometimes one that has a baby of her own.

            This was a teenage silverback.

        • Serai 1

          No, buddy. That was ONE gorilla. Back in the 80’s. Extrapolating from one video is really fucking dangerous, and thank the gods zoo keepers don’t do that.

    • Serai 1

      Oh, please. Aggressiveness is only HALF the problem. In case you didn’t notice, that gorilla weighed 400 pounds and is used to handling kids who take about 50 times more roughness than a goddamn human child. He didn’t HAVE to be aggressive to do the kid a massive injury.

      I don’t understand how someone can look at a gorilla next to a human and not know that.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Did you not see the part where my doubt was only slight and 15 people convinced me there wasn’t a better way and that sucks and the situation was a tragedy waiting to happen?

        • Skadi

          They’d have to have read the rest of the comments first, which do not exist because they are not allowed.

        • Serai 1

          Well, seems you didn’t read the hundreds of comments before yours where all this has been hashed out. So who’s the fool now?

    • thixotropic jerk

      “Gorillas generally are not aggressive, just highly, highly assertive and occasionally, though rarely, deadly.”

      ~Gane Joodall

    • Lambsendbeds

      Tranquilizers can take a few minutes or more to take effect, and the gorilla was already agitated. There is also a phenomenon where the tranquilizer has a idiosyncratic effect and the animal becomes aggressive or even enraged. It was the only solution..The response team usually is comprised of one of the zoo vets and keepers. They were more heartbroken to kill that animal than anyone else I’m sure. A human life has to come first, unless it’s one of those Breirbart commenters.

      • I Only Like Cats

        Hey, hey, they deserve a chance like the rest of us. Well, they can rot in hell (or prison) for the constant hate speech but they deserve a chance

  • JustPixelz

    After reading the comments, I can see why the zoo built a wall to keep the people away from the apes.

  • edith prickly

    More proof that racism is a mental illness and people suck. I don’t want to think about this anymore.

    Also, a lot of animal rights people are total dicks.

    • natoslug

      “Also, a lot of animal rights people are total dicks.”
      — FIFY

    • Riggsveda

      Lots of people are just dicks, period. As I travel through this vale of tears I find the dickishness to be spread pretty evenly; it just takes different things to bring it out in different kinds of people.

    • Gorillionaire

      I can safely say that nearly one hundred percent of the people I have known that actually do the hard work of rescuing and rehabilitating animals are not dicks. I can more assuredly say that a great many people who compulsively shat their minds on social media and fancy themselves as “animal rights” people are indeed dicks.

      • sw19womble

        Oh yep, I know at least two complete “animal rights” loonies, and have met many, many more who believe I’m some fellow-traveller because I’m against intensive farming and the inhumane treatment of animals.

      • Serai 1

        We should start calling them ARA’s, to emphasize the level of dickishness.

  • bozilingus

    I blame Jack Hanna. He took the Columbus Zoo from a wunderful world of steel bars and concrete walls which kept people away from the animals, and he created more “natural” open air settings where anyone (from drunk assholes to young kids enthralled to see the animals) the opportunity to fall in and commune with nature.

    • natoslug

      I blame William Hanna. He and Joseph Barbera tried to convince us that dogs could talk and solve crimes and that it wasn’t at all creepy that Fred kept Shaggy and the girls in a van and fed them pet snacks.

      • thixotropic jerk

        “Ruh-roh!”

      • sw19womble

        As the old adage goes: “When the Mystery Machine is rockin’, Daphne’s obviously trying to struggle out of her gimp suit.”

        • natoslug

          Pics?

          • sw19womble

            Polaroids.

      • bozilingus
      • Markuserektus

        Hillary libelz!

    • h4rr4r

      I blame the moron who failed to just use glass or lexan walls.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Cincinatti, Columbus, tomato, tomahto.

    • clubseal

      I blame natural selection for making humans.

    • Serai 1

      Cincinnati has better enclosures for kidnap victims than for animals.

      YES, I SAID IT. I WENT THERE.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    There ain’t a bag of salted dicks big enough for all these assholes…

    • Serai 1

      Salted dicks are too good for them. Get out the moldy ones.

      • Skadi

        Are you saying we don’t want to raise their blood pressure?”

        • Serai 1

          No, I’m saying they deserve INTESTINAL GANGRENE GODDAMMIT.

          • thixotropic jerk

            Wasn’t that Sublime’s original band name before they got big and bloated and–?

  • Spotts1701

    Yes, the response team had to use lethal force. Yes, they probably would have preferred any other option besides shooting that gorilla dead. But it was not like they were looking for a reason to shoot, and it’s terrible. But the kid isn’t dead, which could have happened (at which point they probably would have had to put the gorilla down anyway).

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Perzackly.

  • Debbies are like snowflakes

    That is some of the ugliest shit I have ever had the misfortune to read.

    As a parent, I “lost” both of my daughters at different times (in crowds) when they were around that age, so I know how quickly those little things can move & how a second’s inattention can lead to their disappearance– and I was the world’s biggest worry wart, hypervigilant mom.
    Both were recovered in a few minutes, but I thought my heart would stop. My heart goes out to that mom, and I hope she doesn’t read comments on the internet.

    • Spotts1701

      Kids are quick and quiet. I know I disappeared a few times on my mom when I was a kid, and she was definitely the kind that would have stuck a tracking device on me if she could.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      ya, three-years olds can be faster than quicksilver.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Mine sure were. My daughter especially. Out in public, I had to duckwalk behind her nonstop to prevent disaster.

        • MarkM

          I had to laugh at me three year old niece pouting about not wanting to go bike riding with my sister-in-law and her older brother because mommy wouldn’t let her bring up the rear. Sorry, that ain’t happening Popster…

      • Vincent Ricola

        I almost got the Dallas Fort Worth airport shut down when I was 3 and bolted from my mom. I wanted to ride the baggage claim conveyor ride and no parent/adult on Earth was going to stop me.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Haha — Love it! BRAT! :)

    • Serai 1

      I don’t know how many times my family has run around desperately looking for Pumpkin, my little niece. It seems to happen every couple of weeks, and they always find her, usually giggling at how she fooled everyone. This is at HOME, mind you. Little kids can drive you crazy with that shit.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        When we were littl’uns, my twin and I somehow managed to actually leave the apartment one day because for some reason we thought our mom had left us (kids are really dumb, right?). Our family was stationed overseas at the time. So I can imagine my mother must have been shitting a brick… Not sure how we were recovered, but I totally feel bad now, thirty-some years later..

        • Serai 1

          You feel bad about THAT, and not about the time you set the linen closet on fire? Tsk-tsk.

    • Lady Bug

      Glad your daughters were okay. I’m not a mom, but just reading your story caused my heart to drop, I can’t imagine what it would be like to actually lose sight of your kids-even if just for a minute or two.

      • dansezlajavanaise

        oh, it happens. it sucks, but it’s not the end of the world.

    • roberteye

      Yeah I took my 7 year old kid to a car show in LA. He could sit in cars and pretend to drive, loved it. In the main showroom, glanced just for a second at the lovely woman on a turntable pointing out a new Buick or something. I turned and I didn’t see my son – in a major crowd. I was utterly freaked. The panic is indescribable. Then I finally saw him like 10 seconds later, and I screamed out his name so loud he must’ve jumped out of his skin, and the whole show I think came to a stand still. And there were only weirdo humans to worry about, not playful gorillas. So yeah, that’s how it goes. The child at the zoo had to be saved. No question. And no blame. Just a tragedy.

    • Riggsveda

      One of my most painful memories was the day my daughter shook off my hand and told me she didn’t need my help crossing the street. She was 12. I was devastated.

    • theCryptofishist

      I’m sure she’s getting phone calls, and doesn’t need to read anything to know what’s being said.

  • Mavenmaven

    I don’t know much about gorillas, but the new Monkees album is surprisingly good.

    • Gorillionaire

      the andy partridge tune in particular is stuck in my head all the time lately

      • Serai 1

        The PARTRIDGE FAMILY’s back now? OH, BOY!!!

    • Lambsendbeds

      There’s a new Monkees album? But…Davy’s dead. How can this be?

      • PUAAN

        Davy is DEAD?!?!?!?

        • Lambsendbeds

          Sadly, yes. He died in 2014 or 2015 IIRC. I cried – it felt like losing a bit of my childhood.

          • PUAAN

            I looked it up and had a little weepy. Had a huge crush on him, then on Mickey, then Peter. I got over it but still remember being glued to the tv on Saturday mornings.

            Not sure how I missed his passing when it happened, though.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This is why the “Ark Encounter” park can’t have real T. Rexs.

    • natoslug

      But it should require that all visitors lay down with a lamb, then a lion.

    • thixotropic jerk

      And yet the “Crucifixion Experience” remains surprisingly popular. Go figure!

      • Skadi

        I’d say “Rule Thirty-Four”.

      • Serai 1

        Never underestimate humanity’s hunger for gore.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Oh but T rex was just a harmless vegetarian. He’d be less of threat than that Gorilla, even with his sharp fangs. A creationists said so, and of course they’re all things “expert” when it comes to the history of life on Earth.

      T-rex a Vegetarian?
      http://theness.com/neurologicablog/index.php/t-rex-a-vegetarian/

  • Marceline

    I’m not sure which group I hate more: these racist fuckers or the animal rights people who apparently learned everything they know from The Jungle Book.

    • Serai 1

      Don’t forget the mother-torturers. They complete the set!

      • Marceline

        Oh yes, those. My social media is filled with the very deep thoughts of perfect parents. I even had to check a friend of mine who said “I’d never let my children out of my sight!” I had to remind her how her daughter broke her arm when they were on vacation last year while Mom was laying out food from the concession stand.

        • Serai 1

          I have snap opinions about such things, too, but I have the brains not to SAY anything. Me not actually being a mother and all. Maybe I am right, but what the hell could possibly come of my trying to tell a stranger how to run her own life other than a deserved bitchslap?

          • ahughes798

            Criticising someone for being negligent is not “telling a stranger how to run their life.” There used to be this thing called common sense. Common sense would dictate that you don’t take 6 kids to the zoo by yourself.

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            Tell it to my widowed mom who took 5 of us on a regular basis. FFS.

          • Serai 1

            There also used to be a thing called MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Are you a relative? Or someone involved with the family? No? Then you have no business berating a parent for not being The Perfect Embodiment Of Parenting… in YOUR opinion.

          • ahughes798

            Really? Keeping track of your child is the perfect embodiment of parenting? I thought it was common. There is one person responsible for this whole incident. The mother of the child. It wasn’t the zoo’s fault, it wasn’t the bystander’s fault, it wasn’t the gorilla’s fault. Who else is supposed to be responsible for her son? Everyone but her? She deserves to be berated because she made a very, very costly mistake, caused an innocent animal to be killed, and she’s damn lucky her kid is still alive, if not from the fall alone.

          • dansezlajavanaise

            good thing she didn’t. i hear the dad was there. but what with him being a thug n’all, she probably shouldn’t have trusted him.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Two things:
    1)For the “zOMG what a horrible mother!!!11!” crowd–
    Hey, shit happens.

    2) For the “Animals B4 Humanz” dipshits
    [long angry screed deleted]
    Oh, just go fuck yourselves.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Oh, and those racist assholes can go fuck themselves senseless.

    • Serai 1

      THANK YOU for not demanding that I fuck them. ;)

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Hah — no way. These toxic fucks are instant boner killers.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Right wingers are why we can’t have nice things- racist pieces of shit. Even Donald fucking Trump is less racist than the shitplugs at Breitbart. Oh and for shits and giggles: Andrew Breitbart is STILL dead and he’s still being fed upon and digested by worms and mold.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Axsually, I have it from a reliable source (dude with a couple of horns and a tail, can’t reveal more than that) that the Mr. Breitbart corpse is inorganic and is therefore being used as a very uncomfortable hammock (in a very uncomfortable place.)

  • Oblios_Cap

    Obviously the gorilla wasn’t Christian or Jesus would have saved him. That Animist had it coming.

    The world is
    a bad place
    A bad place
    A terrible place to live
    Oh but I don’t want to die …

  • Vincent Ricola

    The internet has become too crowded with nosy neighbors that don’t understand things like context or the idea that situations sometimes just happen outside of anyone’s control.

    Or in other terms – shitty unpredictable situations gonna shitty unpredictably.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Oh my god those Breitbart commenters.

    People can talk about left- and right- wing news blogs being mirror-equivalent echo chambers. And maybe they are, in some very general sense. But I have yet to find a lefty blog of any kind that would allow that kind of pointless, racist bile and garbage to stand. Every time I think I might have a grain of sympathy for those people, they give me reason to conclude otherwise.

    Mistakes happen. Anyone can look away from their kid at the wrong moment – I’ve done it myself. And the zoo keepers really did have no choice. The only criticism here worth making is of the pen/fence design. That obviously has flaws that need to be corrected. Everything else is… {draws breath} malarkey.

    • Serai 1

      Now they’ve started flooding every video from that zoo that’s on Youtube, carping about “this is the zoo that KILLT THAT GORRRILLA!!!”.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Ucch, and the animal-righters that don’t know what they’re talking about are almost as bad. Sure, there’s a good chance the gorilla wouldn’t have hurt the kid. Granted! But is a “good chance” good enough? Every parent knows the answer to that question.

  • Skadi

    OK, given the way things are developing in this thread, maybe it’s time we

    stop
    children whats that sound
    everybody look what’s goin’ down
    there’s battle lines bein’ drawn
    nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong

  • Lady Bug

    people on the intertoob are the worstests. Except for here at Wonkette, which doesn’t allow comments anyways

    • Anarchy Pony

      Thank FSM…

  • Anarchy Pony

    This is just awful all around.

  • Jenny

    Oy. That poor mom.

    I put my twin toddlers on backpack leashes, branding me the worst mom at SeaWorld that day. But fuck it, I lived with mini Houdini. The backpack leash was a back up in case the boy managed to run away to go find Nemo in the whale tank. Nothing surprises me about the craftiness of a small male toddler to get into places he shouldn’t.

    • Anarchy Pony

      As a former male toddler, I can confirm that.

      • Jenny

        My son was very sneaky. I don’t think I slept through the night until he was about 8. He was so good at finding ways out of the house.

        • RoyalUglyDude

          OMG your the worst parent in the world!!1

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Got a G’nephew like that. He’s made it to 14 somehow…

          • Jenny

            I probably won’t sleep from 13-18 because then he’ll be sneaking out.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I still toddle on occasion. ‘Off to bed’ is a frequent one.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Walked in hot tar, walked into construction site, ran a spike through my foot, decided a screen door made a neat swing, and promptly fell off it on my head, opened a car door while we were on the road and fell out onto said road.
        Then I turned 4…
        ETA: Discovered “leckprickitty” at age 3, with one of Mom’s hairpins.

        • Jenny

          My son decided that a glass window on a split level was no deterrant to keeping him away from all the toys the neighbor was throwing out after a garage sale. Thankfully no big cuts, just teeth full of dirt.

          That’s just one of his adventures before age 5.

      • NellCote71

        Climbed to the top of a two-story water well at two. Jumped off a high porch because I thought I could fly. Tossed a big rock up in the air to see where it would land (my forehead). Walked in front of someone ready to fire at a shooting range because I wanted to see how far I could balance on a rail. Still alive at 68 and of the female persuasion.

        • Debbies are like snowflakes

          tied one end of a rope around my waist at age 5 (the other end to a branch high up in a tree), jumped out of said tree, thinking I could be like Superman.

          I could NOT understand why my mild-mannered dad was so mad after he had extricated me ( when my shrieks of pain brought him out to the backyard)!

    • At about that age I would take off like a shot in any store, park, etc. One of my greatest adventures was when I ‘went for a walk all by myself’ at the Alabama State Fair. Long story short: I eventually wound up in the tent of the Alligator Woman (my mom said I was too little to see her when I first spied her banner), who bought me a Coke and took me to the Lost Children building. My mom loved to tell that story.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I remember wanting to throw my stryling red sunglasses over the fence into the Grand Ganyon when I was three — so toddlers will get some funky things in their heads.

    • ahughes798

      You are a good parent. You had a common sense solution to a common problem, and fuck what anybody else thinks about it.

  • Crank Tango

    This is good news for McCain.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    If anybody fell into a pit at Breitbart, the commenters would be safe. Nobody would try shooting one in case the bullet hit his thick dense skull, ricocheted off and injured a normal human being.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    More than ever, Cincinnati yearns for the sober, measured journalism of Les Nesman.

  • SnarkTank

    I posted this on the other thread, too, but it bears repeating:
    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/65883632.jpg

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Except at Wonkette and Little Green Footballs, because Wonkette rocks, and well, I blog for LGF!

      • Serai 1

        I crave comments on my blog, but then again, I fucking ban anybody who starts shit, immediately.

      • The Wanderer

        What!?
        They allow comments on Wonkette now?

        • CriticalDragon1177

          LOL!

      • SnarkTank

        Wonkette does indeed rocks, but also too comments are not allowed here, so it’s a moot point.

        • CriticalDragon1177

          You do realize we’re commenting on on a Wonkette blog post, don’t you?

          • SnarkTank

            I’m pretty sure that’s just a pigment of your imaginationing. (Also, too, the “Comments are not allowed in the comments section” is kind of an in-joke…stick around, you’ll catch on to the ways of the Wonket. Just be sure to always follow the Commenting Rules for Radicals!)

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Jimmy, you got it wrong. Its racists like you who want dead kids, not Black Lives Matter.

  • anon_the_great

    I say we station PETA activists in all zoos containing dangerous animals whom we can toss into enclosures to distract the wildlife so we can rescue the innocent.

    • Serai 1

      Indeed! After all, they loves the little animals so much, I’m sure they’d happily volunteer!

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Hey Uncle Grizz,

    I take it you’re a creationist as well as a racist, since you didn’t realize that monkeys are your ancestors as well.

  • sw19womble

    You know, maybe it’s not us who are the “ugly vile little snark mob”?

    • Serai 1

      It’s the snark that separates us.

    • Riggsveda

      Please don’t take away my identity politics.

  • Lady Bug

    Meanwhile, in other news approx 800 people recently drowned in the Mediterranean last week…

    • NellCote71

      Duh, brown.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Wait, there are aquatic gorillas over there? I hafta start watching the NatGeo channel!

    • Serai 1

      But we can’t make Mother Nature feel like shit! NO FUN AT ALL!!!

    • Biff52

      Were they fleeing gorillas?

  • JoseAmerica

    What a terrible situation for everyone involved. Kids can get away from you in a second. It happens to the best parents, and you can’t blame a child for being curious or for having poor self-preservation instincts.

    I have two. I consider myself to be an attentive, safety-oriented parent. But there have been times when my kids are playing in the living room, I go to the kitchen to get something, and seconds later someone is yelling in pain. They do crazy stuff when they know parents aren’t watching.

    No one is to blame. Everyone is to blame. Sometimes bad things happen.

    • Serai 1

      Yes, people forget the “I’m gonna freak mama out, wheeee!” aspect of kiddom.

  • I Only Like Cats

    I understand this conversation has made people hostile so before I bow out let me just say I hope the child isn’t traumatized or badly injured, the mother isn’t horribly traumatized by everything, people leave the family alone, and the zoo adds some better barriers.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I can go along with that.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Why, how decent, rational and un-snarky of you! Are you ill?

      • I Only Like Cats

        I’m ill with the sads.

    • Serai 1

      I’m sure all of those will happen. Except the leaving alone part because FIRST AMENDMENT OMG!!!!!

      • I Only Like Cats

        That argument makes me so mad because the founders weren’t talking about hate speech, harassment, or threats! If you can’t say it to a cop you shouldn’t say it online! And just like the screaming crowd didn’t help the situation with the gorilla, people who have anything inflammatory or negative to say to the mother are only going to make things worse for everyone.

    • ltmcdies

      nothing to snark about in any of that comment….

    • Riggsveda

      The child had some injuries, nothing serious, was treated and released the same day.

      • I Only Like Cats

        I’m glad to hear that and I hope the psychological damage isn’t too bad either.

  • Ilgattomorte

    You have to blame the parents. A good parent, such as myself, would never allow something like that to happen. When I’m out with my children I make sure to cable-tie them to my leg, only after safely wrapping them in cling-wrap, which reduces infection and keeps them fresh.

    Once they are properly secured, we can apply the equine blinders to their heads, as a way of reducing distraction. Then, we secure their ball-gag and make sure their feeding tube is in place to keep them from ingesting anything harmful. Of course, to reduce untoward influences, we’ve removed all contact with other children or “friends”, so to speak.

    Finally, we closet-school our children. We originally home-schooled them, but you would be amazed at what a child can get into when they have the run of an entire home.

    I can proudly say that employing my child-rearing practices can absolutely guarantee gorilla safety, one-hundred percent.

    • Serai 1

      You should NEVER wrap your children in cling-wrap! THEY’LL GO BAD WITHIN A DAY! Keep them in a paper bag, and make sure to put it back in the fridge.

    • Bemused

      No, you are using the wrong wrap. You need to bubble wrap them so that if they happen to tip over, there is not way for them to so much as get a bruise. Using clingwrap is clearly Bad Parenting.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    And a 3rd thing for all the racist motherfuckers out there: Google “grandchild run over in driveway”. You will be aghast at how many there have been. And sheepish at the fact that they’re mostly white.*

    *Nah, fuck, you’ll just ignore that part…

    • Stacy D

      thats cus we have cars and not riding on public transportation!

  • Serai 1

    To everyone going on about gorillas being gentle creatures: Can we please keep in mind that this was a gorilla in captivity? Animals kept in captivity can’t be depended on to act the way they act in the wild. Being in jail does that to a person.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      They are gentle creatures, even in captivity, compared to other primates (including humans). I think people forget that it is the “compared to other primates” bit which ends how gentle they are. We’re not talking butterflies here, they can and will get violent, in the wild or in captivity
      Like all animals in the world including humans (who, as a group, are much more violent) they can inexplicitly freak out, and their sheer size and strength makes them dangerous to those who do not know how to handle them- say, like, 3/4 year old kids.

      • Serai 1

        …which is not helped by the obvious fact that we have no way to know what the hell’s bothering them, since they can’t talk to us. But really, isn’t all of this obvious?

  • tehbaddr

    Harambe was a Gorilla of extraordinary taste. Never let his Jimmies get fully shaken or even stirred.

  • Joshua Norton

    Imagine my surprise to discover how many people woke up yesterday to suddenly discover that they were an expert on gorilla husbandry.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Are you only saying that because you are just an expert on gorilla wifery or…?

  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    This controversy is such bullshit. It’s a tragic accident and it sucks that the gorilla had to be killed, but every animal/zoo expert I’ve seen quoted says that these animals can be extremely dangerous when threatened, and having a strange creature show up in your habitat and then a bunch of people scream at you seems awfully threatening to me. Even if he was not being actively hostile, it’s possible that he would have injured the child just by whipping him around.

    This mother is a mother. You look away. You dig through your purse. You turn your head to talk to a friend. Children are freaking houdinis and the child is three, the most devilishly clever of all the preschool ages. I put no blame towards anyone, just sadness that an animal had to be killed, and sadness that people can’t mourn that without attacking someone else.

    • ltmcdies

      I used to live in Calgary and their zoo has I think low land gorillas. And they had a big silver back, older than this one.

      Well while I was watching at the enclosure one of the young apes….maybe 4…5..starts goofing around to close to papa. Well out of nowhere that ape got the back of papa’s hand enough to get junior scamper off pretty damn quick.
      A three year old human child is not physically the same as a four year old ape. Nor has a human child been socialized to understand the nuances of ape behavior.

      I’m sure the zoo handlers would have preferred to do anything other that shoot the gorilla.

      • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

        Absolutely agree.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This is Murica, doing what Murica does best- wallowing in an orgy of self righteous judgment for a complete stranger…

  • Serai 1

    Crap. I gotta go get ready for my PT appointment. Talk amongst yourselves!

  • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

    He didn’t just fall in, though — he was left unattended long enough to work his way past multiple barriers, and then he fell in. Because he is three, and didn’t think this plan to go swimming with the gorillas through before acting on it.

    And yes, that is some less than ideal parenting right there, but what the fuck, there was a crowd of people around the exhibit, and no one thought to say, “Hey, what is that little kid doing? He’s getting awful close to that ledge, he’s going fall and get hurt!”, and stop him? Or even just call out to him, or his mom, or zoo security? I know, the mother really shouldn’t have tried to take six children to the zoo by herself, especially when one of them is, apparently, the most determined three year-old in the world — but this is also a failure on the part of everyone who was around that exhibit when this was going on, who didn’t do shit.

    • Riggsveda

      Takes a village to raise a child…or not to, and then burn the parents as witches.

    • ltmcdies

      how do you know anything about the nature of that little boy. For all any of us know…he wasn’t a particular difficult or determined kid…until 3 days ago.

      Shouldn’t, wouldn’t couldn’t…all the words used while one’s has their twenty twenty hindsight switched on.

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        I know three year-olds aren’t rational actors. I know that once they get it into their heads to do a thing, they don’t stop and think through potential unintended consequences, they just do it. And I know that they can get overstimulated and go bananas, even if they are normally well-behaved and obedient.

        So yeah, I think that’s what happened.

        And I know this exhibit, and that for him to have done what he did would have required that he spend anywhere from several seconds to several minutes in working his way around and through the barrier system, before he even got to the ledge and fell in. And somehow, no one thought to try to stop him, not even the one witness who insists that she heard him tell his mother that he was going to go swimming with the gorillas, and then watched him work his way to the ledge and fall over.

        If people want to judge his mother, they also should be judging the crowd that watched this happen and couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Reminds me of those crowds that stand about filming people getting beat up and do absolutely nothing.

          • HazooToo

            I think it’s called the Bystander phenomenon? They ALL think “well, someone must be calling 911! Someone else is going to help!” and so none of them call 911 or step in to help.

        • ltmcdies

          so here’s something to think about in this era of ‘STRANGER DANGER”

          how many “strangers” especially males, would be comfortable approaching and putting their hands on someone’s else kid?

          and as for the witness who said he heard the little guy say he wanted go swim with the gorilla…did the witness…in the moment believe that kid or does the statement just stand out in hindsight.

          there is no good here….and we need to stop pretending humans can control every circumstance 100 percent of the time …”if only…blah blah blah”

    • LaylaOhGee

      People did see it and tried to help Go read the Wasington Post link, or NYT link.

      A woman who was standing right there spoke to a reporter. She said it happened so quickly. The kiddo somehow got past the barrier and then crawled through some bushes. The mother was calling his name and looking for him, but she couldn’t see him in the bushes from her angle.

      The witness lady said she tried to grab him, as did her husband, who climbed over the barriers frantically trying to snag him but he was too slow. He tried to jump in after him, but wife stopped him.

      The mother tried to go after him, too, but people held her back.

      Witness lady said the mom was paying close attention to her children. Mom was holding a baby. She took a photo and in that second the kiddo disappeared.

      The barrier was better than regulation, and the mom was just a mom trying to take her kiddos to see some animals.

      The whole thing is heartbreaking, but accidents can happen. There’s no blame to distribute.

  • ahughes798

    I think the zoo should sue the fuck out of parents for the replacement cost of the gorilla. Their child/children should be taken away by DCFS, with votes, because this person is not competent to be a parent, with votes. An innocent and endangered animal was killed because of human negligence. And if the jerk-ass parents try to sue, I hope whatever court it goes thru has a judge that laughs in their faces while he throws the case out.

    Tens of thousands of 3 or 4 year olds saw that same damn gorilla and didn’t end up climbing through several barriers and falling into the cage. The child announced it’s intentions to go into the water. It didn’t “take just a second” for that kid to get into the animal’s enclosure. I’m glad the kid is okay, but I am just infuriated by the stupidity and negligence of it’s parents, and that an animal had to die because of it.

    I really do think it’s just time for zoos to go away, they’re horrible places for the animals. Replace them with big parks or sanctuaries where the animals roam free, and the humans are locked into escape proof rolling cages so they can see them.

    We have video of almost every damn animal on earth now. Why do we need zoos or Seaworld type things?

    • ltmcdies

      well here’s a write up on the dangers to the low land gorilla population….poaching, ebola, loss of habitat…they actually don’t know the current population in the wild.

      http://www.worldwildlife.org/species/western-lowland-gorilla

      Now considering the circumstances…you think there might be some value in trying to maintain a population of gorillas that aren’t at risk of being poached or getting ebola.

    • HazooToo

      LaylaOhGee posted a pretty good rebuttal of the idea that the mother wasn’t paying attention and didn’t care. Please read downthread.

  • Jeff in the desert

    It appears one simian has upstaged another……(with apologies to Harambe)

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-gorilla-searches_us_574dc89be4b0757eaeb0b9b5

  • Gayer Than Thou

    One of my least favorite internet phenomena is how people construct a whole narrative about people they don’t even know based on facts they don’t possess just to manufacture support for their own preconceptions and prejudices. Those people probably also support Trump, hate Target’s inclusive potty policy, and think Nickelback is a great band.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      ok that made me guffaw. I shouldn’t have, but it did.

    • doktorzoom

      That’s about what I’d expect of your type.

    • WhyFelicia

      Remember the guy who slapped a crying baby on the plane and called it the n-word? People had TONS of theories about the (white adoptive) mother being a terrible person, flying on a commercial airline with no father to oversee her and the child. And then defenders stepped in and painted a picture in which the father was an African American serviceman deployed overseas. I quit the internet for a few months after that, and might have to do it again soon because FUUUUUUUCK.

  • Lady Willpower

    When did Breitbart turn into StormFront?

    • thixotropic jerk

      Better Question: When was there ever a noticeable difference?

    • SecludedCompound

      We have always been at war with Eastasia.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Christ, you’d think they’d be happy that somebody finally did something smart with a gun, but I guess not.

  • Rosanne Walden

    Maybe the child has autism. Children with autism can vanish into thin air. Believe me I have successfully raised one! Autistic people have a defect in their mirror neurons,the ones that give humans a skill called theory of mind. They are wired to believe that what ever they know or are thinking everyone around them knows and is thinking. I have an autistic teen who can do college level abstract math but I have to put a poster of Hudini on our front door to remind visitors to lock the multiple locks on the door or our son would to this day walk to Roure 66 from Los Angeles to New York assuming that everyone who loves him knows where he is without his having told us.

    One tip I would like to pass on to parents of little “elopers”(the medical term for kids who cannot control their wandering away.) When my boy was small and I watched him like a hawk while trying to teach him how to safely walk with me on the sidewalk and cross streets, I used to have a small can of heilum and balloons that I would inflate and tie to the back of his t shirt so I could have a visual tracker for him should he get away from me. It might also give some warning to motorists shoud my boy dart out into the street from behind cars.

    Toddlers on the autism spectrum are like hamsters. No matter how secure their enclosure is one day they WILL escape.

    I feel awful for the gorilla who was shot. By the way one of the most respected gorrilla researchers is an adult woman with autism. I would love to get her take on this issue.

    • HazooToo

      Even just a perfectly average kid can totally get away from you, if the timing is right. My kid was out, one day, with his father and his father’s girlfriend, and they were at McDonalds when Baby fell off the slide and bit right through his lip! Much blood, trip to hospital, BIG deal. I didn’t even get a CALL about it, didn’t know anything had happened til I got home. Still, the accident itself is just something that happens to kids. I’m just lucky they weren’t at the zoo when the time came for trouble!

      • Serai 1

        Applause for you for not freaking out and trying to get your husband jailed for it.

        • HazooToo

          Well, I did freak out a little, of course! <3 But yeah, it's not like they were neglecting him, and they didn't do it on purpose, and if I had heard about it, I would have immediately left work and gotten fired, and they did all the right things, and to be perfectly honest, I trusted his girlfriend WAAAAAAAY more than my ex to take care of my baby while I was out.

    • phoenix00
  • Mintie

    The subject of this article is exactly why I’ve been avoiding this topic. Part of me wants to offer my opinion, but the rest of my brain–for once–is holding it back.

    • HazooToo

      Teach your magic trick to that lady screaming at people in Target.

      • Mintie

        Her religion probably has something against drinking alcohol. My lack of religion doesn’t impose that particular stricture on me.

  • AlasAnAss

    And we’re the evolved ones . . .

    • Serai 1

      Not this week, apparently.

  • btwbfdimho

    If the gorila was armed, maybe it’d be alive now.

  • chascates

    These people deserve to live in a country headed by Trump; it just shouldn’t be in the United States of America.

    • boll ocks

      The Texas state of Trumpghanistan

      • Serai 1

        I thought it was Trumpfuckistan.

  • btwbfdimho

    That’s why no matter where I go I carry my own personal security

  • The other day I went to the zoo and a Trump rally broke out.

  • unrelatedwaffle

    Solution: Throw everyone at Breitbart into the gorilla enclosure. They seem to be fine with that, and their social skills are more suited to that environment anyway.

    • Lark_in_the_AM

      Gorilla libel, no shit.

    • That seems unfair to the gorillas.

      • boll ocks

        Eh, I am pretty sure that the gorillas can handle those chuckleheads.

      • Serai 1

        Are you kidding? The gorillas will have BARRELS of fun.

    • phoenix00
  • Duke

    Only good gorillas with guns can stop bad gorillas without guns.

  • chascates

    Not only is the racism coming out at the rightwing sites, it’s going full blown at the out-and-out hate sites. From a ‘Alt-Right Faq’ on Daily Stormer:

    Isn’t the Alt-Right just a rebranding of neo-Nazism?
    Yes.
    Do Alt-Righters support White Supremacy?
    Yes.
    What is the official Alt-Right position on Jews?
    Jews should be gassed and turned into lampshades.
    Does the Alt-Right endorse homosexuality?
    No. We believe homosexuals should be gassed.
    Who founded the Alt-Right?
    Adolf Hitler.
    Does the Alt-Right believe that Donald Trump is the God Emperor of Mankind?
    Yes.

    They have sown the wind and I hope they reap the whirlwind.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Yeah, never miss an opportunity to cast first stone.

    • btwbfdimho

      My kidneys wish it was the first one…

  • btwbfdimho

    BBHMyMother

  • btwbfdimho

    I guess her parents are from MIT and wanted to test the Invisible Gorila Hypothesis http://www.theinvisiblegorilla.com/videos.html

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    The Breitbart comments are so ugly as to render me unable to comment.

  • Lambsendbeds

    The Breitbart “commenter” who said that the mother chucked her son into the enclosure so that she could sue the Zoo…I can’t even. How can these people pass for human with cesspools like that for brains?

  • Pongo

    How did this become a race issue? Oh, wait. I missed the part about Fox and Friends.

    For what it’s worth, I think the zoo did the only thing they could under the circumstances and it is a shame they ever had to make this decision or that the family ever had to be in this situation. Clearly, no one wanted this.

    I will admit that I get really irritated by parents who are too busy on their phones–or just don’t care–that their children are climbing all over zoo or museum exhibits clearly marked ‘keep out.’ Or worse yet, actually help them get around barriers to ‘get a better view’ or watch and tape junior or juniette tormenting a caged animal just to get a (hilarious!) reaction to post on Facebook. However, this vicious response to the family is ridiculously over the top. We have no idea how this happened, no idea if this is a child with special needs (he clearly is a bit of a ninja) who can’t process danger/rules appropriately, etc. and it is a rush to judgment to assume that negligent parenting was at fault. This is not helped at all by people like Jeff Corwin and Jack Hanna weighing in publicly with statements like ‘zoos are not your babysitter’ which clearly imply the fault lies with negligence on the part of this parent. This is especially rich coming from Jack Hanna who uses his own grandchildren as props in some very questionable wild animal encounters just for ratings.

    In any case, I hope the Cincy zoo has good insurance. I’m guessing personal injury vultures are lined up outside this family’s home already.

    • Serai 1

      Oh, you don’t need Fox for this to become a race issue. It started the second a picture of that kid hit the internet.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    Human beings are horrible. Can I resign and chose another species? I don’t want to belong to one in which so-called humans wish a child had died because he got away from his mother, isn’t the same race as they, or which would target (on national media, no less) the boy’s father who wasn’t even present and that thinks the man’s past has anything to do with this tragic accident, or issue death threats to the boy’s mother because the gorilla had to be killed. Such creatures don’t reflect what I was always taught was the meaning of the word humane.

    P.S. I have known Thane Maynard, the director of the Cincinnati Zoo, for almost 30 years – well before he was director. He really *does* embody that word, and I can tell you that it broke his heart to have to kill Harambe, but there was no choice other than the possible death of that little boy. His only regret is that it happened in the first place, and I know that he will use every means in his power to ensure that it does not happen again.

    • Cool_Hand_Luke

      Isn’t that wonderful. Your friend Thane killed a beautiful silverback who represented a dying species. His life was huge for the species. There are two sides to the equation. Put in the camp that there was an alternative to save child and gorilla. He took the expedient and PC route. How convenient. Harambe is dead and tomorrow morning your buddy Thane will get up and conduct business as usual. By the way, don’t think there are not right wingers out there who don’t love animals.

      • ltmcdies

        so that magical method to get the kid out of the enclosure without spooking the silverback was…….don’t give me tranquilizer dart….how long does it take for your meds to kick in. That shit doesn’t work instantaneously like it does on the teevee.

        everybody feels lousy about the silverback but don’t pretend there was some easy answer here.

        especially if your acquaintance with silverback male apes is …shall we say…not that much

        • Cool_Hand_Luke

          Trying to dismiss my thoughts because I’m not Jane Goodall won’t cut it. You’ve dismissed nothing.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            On the contrary, you’ve got nothing other than your herd-mentality emotional breakdown over a gorilla you never even knew existed until that 3 year old fell into his enclosure. Take your phony outrage and try and do some actual good, instead of working up a froth about something you haven’t a clue about. Wanna do the gorillas some good? Go to Africa and spread some money around. The people in Rwanda who have the largest population of them have little resources to protect them from poachers, or from deforestation, or from deadly disease (Ebola affects them, too, as it turns out). Sponsor one of the research teams trying to figure out how humans and gorillas can better coexist. The lost life of one gorilla in a zoo is a terrible tragedy, but it’s nothing compared to the dozens who lose their lives every year to poachers and starvation.

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            I have belonged to the Londolozi Blog for years. You want to talk about the Mopogo Lion Pride? Know a little bit about Africa. Adios.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            What? And this has to do with the problems of lowland gorillas in their shrinking habitat how? And am I supposed to be impressed with the name dropping, as belonging to a safari blog makes you a fucking expert? LOL! Boy that sure showed me. ?

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            Look you need to get over yourself. There are experts out there who agree with me. They don’t believe Harambe should have been killed. Your opinion is not an absolute fact. Many disagree with you. Good night.

          • Astraea

            You can’t even suggest an alternative. Because there was none.

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            I’m not going to work for you. You’re not worth a dime to me.

          • ltmcdies

            so that whole “good night” thing was just an empty threat huh..

            but how can we miss if you won’t go away

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            LOL! “Many experts”, eh? Which experts? The ones from your “safari blog”? Nope. Sorry. Not my “opinion”, but the decision of the experts who were there and observing the situation, not people sitting on their arses in front of their computers having emotional meltdowns over an animal they never knew existed while having no problem with the idea that a 3 year old might have died instead. After all, there’s lots more three year olds where that one came from, right? And yes, I am done replying to you, you baby. Go take your Playskool “I wanna be a zookeeper when I grow up” costume off and try not to cry too hard into your computer lest you short it out, and put yourself to bed. You’ll forget all about this when the next outrage involving a single animal comes along while you ignore the plight of the endangered animals out in the real world.

          • Serai 1

            Which experts?

            The ones in his head, naturally. Oh, and PETA. Mustn’t forget the animal botherers.

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            Don’t be lazy nimrod. Google it.

          • Astraea

            “Experts who agree with cool_hand_luke” doesn’t give very good results.

          • Serai 1

            Fuck you, douchebag. Don’t be telling me to do your work for you, you lazy little twerp.

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            Got to you? Upset? Mad? hee hee hee

          • Serai 1

            LOL. A slimy little weasel like you would have to work thirty years to even raise one of my hackles.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Don’t need to. I respect the assessment of the people who actually were there and ARE experts. Oops. And I said I wasn’t going to keep answering you. Oh well.

          • Serai 1

            …says the guy who couldn’t get over himself with a 30-foot stepladder and a goddamn crane.

          • Jonny On Maui

            You are why I’ll never take long pig off the menu.

          • Serai 1

            He’d need a LOT of pineapple marinade.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Probably double brine first.

            But you got me thinking on incorporating pineapple into a bbq sauce… Aha! Grilled pineapple! Off to the secret kitchen…

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Plus baking soda to neutalize the acid.

          • Whollyholeyholy

            Jane Goodall studied chimps. Dian Fossey studied mountain gorillas. I don’t love being pedantic, but I am pretty sure that is proof positive that your primate credentials are sketchy at best.

          • ltmcdies

            Oh I will absolutely dismiss your comment

          • theCryptofishist

            Does he know the difference between Jane Goodall and Dian Fosse?

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Apes is apes to this expert who is, after all, a member of the Londolozi Blog.

      • Astraea

        What else were they supposed to do?

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        Prime example. Yes, you are a horrible person, as you seem to think you know so much more than the gorilla keepers – whose decision it was, btw, NOT Thane’s, though, as director his approval was required. Do you think that the keepers wanted to do this? Harambe was at the zoo for only a year and a half, but the keepers loved him. If there had been another choice they would have made it, but the life of that little boy was at stake, and you can just go fuck yourself if you would value the life of that gorilla (a captive-bred gorilla destined to live his entire life in that enclosure, btw, so other than being one of many captive gorillas, many born at this exact zoo, his life means NOTHING for the species in the wild) over the life of that child. Also, you have NO CLUE how Thane feels about anything, nor how his keepers feel, so, again, you can go take your self-righteous ignorance and put it where the sun doesn’t shine.

        • Cool_Hand_Luke

          Every time I see that guy Thane on the TV and hear him speak, I want to puke.

          • Astraea

            Answer my question, since you know so much about the situation.

          • Serai 1

            Notice how he’s stopped even pretending to have a point? He’s just flinging poop now, like a proper monkey.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            I will say it again – you had no clue that gorilla even existed before that child feel into his enclosure. His gene pool is fucking cut off from the gene pool of wild lowland gorillas, so he doesn’t represent any more “hope” than any other endangered species in a zoo. It turns out that breeding gorillas in zoos is easy-peasy. The Cinti zoo is itself a very successful breeder of them, which is why they bought Harambe from the zoo in Texas where he was born, as they have done with many other gorillas in the past. Your ignorance is on full display here, and it is rather ridiculous. Grow up, kid. Hating on Thane isn’t going to bring Harambe back, nor will it change the situation that happened. You are acting like a fool.

        • Cool_Hand_Luke

          Bottom line: they are no heroes. They KILLED Harambe who I stated earlier represents a dying gene pool. He was hope for the species. No longer. As Thane said so casually on TV when being interviewed: “Harambe is gone.” He sure is.

      • Spotts1701

        He didn’t take the “expedient and PC route”. He took the route as laid out by the procedures they (and every zoo in the country) have in place whenever an untrained person enters a wild animal habitat and is in mortal danger. Those procedures place the safety of the human being above all other considerations.
        Yes, it’s terrible that they had to make that decision. No keeper or animal handler ever wants to lose an animal like this in a preventable situation. But there were no alternatives – tranquilizers would take too long, he was becoming more agitated due to the screaming from the crowd, and even if he meant no harm he is big enough and strong enough to kill an adult human being (let alone a toddler) completely by accident. There was no time to make a better choice – a bad solution now is better than a good solution 5 minutes from now if you’re going to be dead in 4 minutes.

      • Serai 1
    • Biff52

      If the boy had died, the gorilla still would have been killed. Pretty much as soon as the child entered the gorilla habitat, Harambe was doomed.

      • Cool_Hand_Luke

        What’s your source for that snoopy?

        • Lamashtar

          Its pretty much a rule. Any non-human animal that hurts humans is killed. Because once they start, they will usually do it again.

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            That’s no source.

          • Jonny On Maui

            And neither are you.

          • Serai 1

            Because you’ve been providing sources for your logorrhea all evening.

    • theCryptofishist

      It’s that WPA grotto-style zoo. There was that incident in San Francisco a few years back when the tiger got out of the grotto, killed one guy and was killed herself. I don’t know how you retrofit them, and I don’t know where you get the money to… This is so fucked…

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        The gorilla exhibit at the Cinti zoo was state of the art when it was built – back in the late 70s or early 80s (I can’t remember which, as was a long time ago, and my brain is hasn’t got with the ‘I’m supposed to be awake now’ program). It was a lovely place, designed in consulation with Dian Fossey, with a lucite – windowed viewing area that allowed the visitors to get safely close to the gorillas, as well as watch the ones in the lightly forested, close replica of one of their principle protected areas. I will admit that it has been years since I have been there (we moved from the city in 1994), but I am still trying to figure out how that little boy could have gotten in there. It seemed pretty secure to me when I was there last, but then, I’m not 3, either.

  • SadDemInTex

    I can’t tell you how many times as a kid I got lost away from my family (Golden Gate Park was an especially memorable one). I’m sad about the gorilla but I do think that even if the gorilla was not intending to hurt the child he could have. It was a difficult call and I’m sure the zoo staff is suffering.

  • URQ196

    The little tyke is named Isaiah and his “mommy” is Michelle Gregg.

    • HazooToo

      There is a reason their names weren’t used in the article, you know. It’s coz people are dicks.

    • hendenburg2
    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Why is mommy in scare quotes?

      • Serai 1

        Because she’s obviously a skanky ho who doesn’t deserve the title, of course.

      • Astraea

        The same reason that right wing “animal lovers” are suddenly appearing to talk about this particular incident.

      • URQ196

        Cuz she isn’t a very good mommy IMHO

        • NotALiar

          Why? you know her I assume.

          • Serai 1

            That sort of person is much too Wise And Superiorly Superior to be required to actually KNOWING anything about the subject.

        • Riggsveda

          And nobody here gives a shit about your humble opinion, which, based on your commenting history, is that you think it’s a lot of fun to drop the name of a woman you know nothing about anywhere the bouncers will let you in, in hopes you can work up some internet lynching activity. And you’re obviously qualified to throw the first, second, third and twentieth stones, why? Cause you walk on fucking water? Cause you never made a mistake a day in your sainted life? Cause the only time you feel alive is when you’re committing little murders and whipping up the dogs on someone else? Pathetic.

          • Serai 1

            I’m on the fence about whether we’re dealing with two sockpuppets here. They’re both more full of shit than a whale with no ass. /dm

          • URQ196

            Well yup, my son is 36, doing fine in IT, yep I was a single parent for him being ten years old on, so I did fine, hardly pathetic are you always iniquitous? And type such a long message being iniquitous?

          • Riggsveda

            Res ipsa loquitur, baby.

          • LeMunyan

            and this fling of plewds? all from the Portland Zoo or that anex on TV Highway, reebville

    • doktorzoom

      We didn’t name the family for a reason. Yes, the information is out there. We may decide to name them later. I see you’ve posted her name here more than once — trying to encourage harassment/shaming? Take that shit elsewhere, please. This is the only warning you get.

      • Riggsveda

        I would have given you 50 upvotes for this if I could. Stupid shit, mean shit, racist shit, it’s all bad, but after seeing what internet mobbing can do to people in real life, when I see this kind of incitement it makes me wish I could keep him/her/it off the webs in perpetuity.

  • SlickTrixie

    When it comes down to between humans and animals, I pick animals. FFS 47% of voters are for Trump. We are a failed species, gone in 1 or 2 generations to the ravages of soiling our own nest. It pains me that we are taking all the other animals down with us.

    This is the 3rd story in 3 months of endangered animals getting killed by stupid humans (in this case the parents, the zoo did what it had to do or face total shutdown because of lawsuits). I blame the parents, who I assumed were EuroAms before this article. At a minimum, the parents should be investigated by CPS. You’ve got to keep your eye on kids all the time. If you can’t do that, don’t be a parent.

    /Stepping off soapbox now

    • Astraea

      If we took kids away from every parent who momentarily lost track of them in a public place there’d be no one left to raise them.

      • SlickTrixie

        Back to my point, don’t have kids if you don’t think you can keep them with you in a public place.

        We live in strange times. I’m an old, and when I was a kid, everyone around were basically given permission to keep kids out of trouble. Now parents get pissed if one tries to intervene with a kid headed for disaster (it happened once to me, and I’ve never intervened since). As a result parents are the sole point of responsibility for kid’s safety. And the sole point of blame.

        • Astraea

          I think you missed my point.

          • SlickTrixie

            Nope. Didn’t. Americans really hate children– so, just put them in an institution, and some of them would have a better chance.

          • Astraea

            You respond to a post about a kid being saved from a gorilla by saying you’d choose animals over humans, but Americans are the ones who hate children because… sometimes they get away from us?

          • SlickTrixie

            Because Americans aren’t paying complete attention to their children when they are in public. Geez, I was responsible for my 3 younger sisters and they never got lost (I would have had the shit beaten out of me if they had). How hard is it for an adult to keep watch over their own kids?

          • Serai 1

            http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Serai/Comment%20pics/shut%20up%20donny.jpg

            I’ve never had kids, but I’m not arrogant enough to think that I have ANY IDEA what it’s like to keep track of one.

          • NotALiar

            Right?

          • Serai 1

            I swear to the Goddess, I just wanna slap a bitch sometimes.

          • SlickTrixie

            Yeah, I thought I’d see just how far tolerance goes among the vile nasty snarkmob. Not so far when someone thinks differently.

            http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-11/enhanced/webdr03/15/14/enhanced-buzz-29022-1384543880-20.jpg

          • Astraea

            She looks like a bad mom. I hope someone took her kids away from her.

          • Serai 1
          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            Couple of self-important clowns who get away with their chit in a controlled environment. Outside of it, get their arse kicked.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Some day I hope to meet you socially…

          • Serai 1

            * eyeroll * Do go back to your basement and bother some more puppies.

          • doktorzoom

            First comment: crude but tolerable. Second comment, dumb but tolerable. Third comment, a stunning example of cognitive dissonance (Let kids die, who cares, but Americans hate kids? wut?) This comment, open acknowledgement that you’re trolling.

            Well, hey, call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re banned.

          • HazooToo

            Fuck off, Lambchop, most of us have kids. And we don’t fucking beat the oldest if she loses track of her kids, because that’s our damn job to keep track of them. Please don’t breed. We wouldn’t want you passing on your parents’ abusive tactics for dominating their daughters.

          • Serai 1

            Logic is little tweeting bird in meadow. Logic is a pretty flower which smells bad.

            LLAP

  • MrBlobfish

    Just heard on Hannity’s radio show: stuff happens, but it’s definitely the parents fault and the child should be taken away. His listeners agree.

    • phoenix00

      /can’t say that was unexpected

    • Cool_Hand_Luke

      One hundred percent the child should be taken away.

      • Jonny On Maui

        As you should have been from your parents. They obviously abandoned you before you socailized.

        • Serai 1

          Perhaps he’s a gorilla, and he’s pissed off they shot his cousin.

    • Be Gin

      The right question.

  • Cool_Hand_Luke

    The magnificent silver back was put down who represented a dying gene pool. His life represented a lot of hope for longevity for the species. In the long run, far more important in the grand scheme of things.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      And what, they should have just left that little boy in there to be mauled?

      • Astraea

        They should have called Iron Man to swoop in and carry the boy out. Duh.

        • Serai 1

          Where the hell was Supes? Isn’t taking care of this shit HIS job?

    • Serai 1
      • Cool_Hand_Luke

        The hope for the future.

        • Serai 1

          ————————-> POINT.

          your head

        • Astraea

          Do you have Iron Man’s phone number?

    • SlickTrixie

      I did read that they’ve got a frozen sperm bank, so there’s that teensy bit of good news.

  • Biff52

    Didn’t anyone call out the videographer for shooting in portrait mode? Come on!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    So they’re bad parents if their 3-year-old crawls away out of their sight for half a minute, but not if they leave a loaded handgun in plain view on the kitchen counter and the 3-year-old shoots his brother. That does not make sense.

    I remember a similar case in the 90’s in which a toddler fell off a wall into a gorilla exhibit at a zoo, and a female gorilla cuddled the injured child and protected it. But in that case it was a female gorilla. This was a male gorilla. Male gorillas can be unpredictable. If this gorilla had killed the child, on purpose or by accident, there would have been hell to pay. Zoos do not have a lot of money, they have to pursue the safest solution.
    http://pix11.com/2016/05/30/watch-mother-gorilla-rescues-3-year-old-boy-who-fell-into-pit-in-1996/

    This reminds me of a case in England many years ago, in which a father lost his job, the family lost their home and most of their possessions, and the next day the local newspaper ran an article about it saying they had left their pet bird behind in a cage. Several thousand people called asking about the bird. Nobody called to ask about the family.

    • Lamashtar

      I don’t know about apes, but I’ve seen even female monkeys toss their babies around carelessly. Their babies can take it. Human babies with concussions, not so much. And that silverback was being very brutish in his dragging.

      I have also seen a special where sweet looking chimpanzees hunted down and ATE smaller monkeys. One of the most horrid things ever, due to their close resemblance to each other and our own species. No, I wouldn’t take chances with wild animals.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        At least animals kill each other for food. Humans seem to enjoy doing it just for the hell of it, or because they pray in different buildings, or the voices told them to, or for another hundred stupid reasons.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      That case in the 90s involved an unconscious boy as well, not a hysterical screaming one.

  • NotALiar

    Such a sad story all around. I absolutely LOVE when Brietbart and daily caller etc. love to shart out who the REAL RACISTS are..I don’t see comments like that at wonkette or crooks.

    • Biff52

      You’re the real racist for bringing it up!

    • Cool_Hand_Luke

      Don’t forget Free Republic.

  • Serai 1

    Okay, you want bad parenting? THIS is bad parenting. Get a sense of perspective, for gods’ sakes.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Just. Fawk.

      • Serai 1

        YES. So maybe losing track of one’s kid in a big crowd for twenty seconds isn’t so fucking horrible.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Jesus fucking christ that`s a bad one. Have fun in prison ladies, bet the rest of the inmates will be ever so friendly when they learn what you did to those poor little kids.

      • Serai 1

        Giggling over going to jail? I’d be trying to find a way to off myself when the cops weren’t looking. They have no idea the misery they’re in for.

  • Left Coast Tom

    The internet spent a large portion of its
    time over the weekend screaming at whomever it decided was the worst
    responsible party:

    I’m really glad I spent the weekend skiing in my t-shirt at Mammoth instead.

    • Biff52

      Did you at least wave on your way through Big Pine?
      Thought we wuz tight…

      • Left Coast Tom

        Living in the Bay Area…I approached from the north. At least I didn’t contribute to the traffic on southbound US-395 Monday.

        • Biff52

          Good save! Did you go through Yosemite? Not often anymore that Tioga Pass and Mammoth Mountain are open at the same time.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I did. In fact, on my way there I made a side trip to the Valley to see the waterfalls.

            The last few years Mono County has been contributing plows from the east to help open the road sooner, leading to a “meeting of the plows” somewhere between Tenaya Lake and Tuolumne Meadows. However, after the disaster in spring 2006 the real problem remains avalanche potential near Olmstead.

          • Biff52

            Yeah, half of Mono County lives and dies by the Tioga opening. I worked for Caltrans up there for years. Clearing Tioga and Minaret Summit every spring was always a rush.

          • Left Coast Tom

            It looked like Minaret had been cleared except for the Chair 11 return – there were two plows parked right where the outer-most ski track goes over the eastbound lane, and both lanes had been plowed westward.

          • Biff52

            My weapon:

          • Juan de Fuca

            Haven’t been boarding up in your area yet but anyone who clears mountain roads has my respect. Some of them are sketchy enough even after being cleared. Wouldn’t want to be the one who’s first up or down the mountain in a snowplow.

          • Left Coast Tom

            These road clearings are of roads that are closed in the winter.

            There are no year-round Sierra crossings south of CA-88 (Carson Pass) until way down at Walker, Monitor, Ebbetts, Sonora, and Tioga are all closed in the winter. The disaster I mentioned above, though…was in 1995, not 2006. The spring openings can be dangerous, in that case a Park Service employee was killed trying to open Tioga. Granite provides a slick sliding surface for snow.

          • Biff52

            All winter, though, we kept the other highways clear.

            That was a USPS equipment operator, on a bulldozer. That is the single most frightening piece of equipment to operate on snow and ice. The grousers make perfect ice skates–sideways. Traction is lost in an instant, and away you go. I’m happy to be retired from it.

  • xy

    why would the bureau of land management care about this incident?

    • Sam Graham

      Now, that’s funny.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Seriously? Children wander around and find interesting ways of squeezing into odd cubbyholes and openings, it’s what they do and it’s intrinsic to learning. The mother isn’t negligent, she probably looked away for a moment, and that’s all it took.
    Given the concerns the zoo listed, I think that their action was valid, but saddening. I feel much worse for the mother, who’s having terrible blame laid upon her.

    • Cool_Hand_Luke

      How do you know she’s really that upset? She strikes me as a complete idiot.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I didn’t say she’s upset.

        • Cool_Hand_Luke

          I know you didn’t but that’s the premise the MSM has used poor little mother. In her case the big fat dumb mommy.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            MSM?
            Monosyllabic Singing Moth?
            Momo Steering-wheel Mount?
            Mulberry-Sucking Moose?
            Mounds of Slimy Muck?
            Meat-Selling Manchild?
            Mopping Smelly Minnows?

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            MSM. You must be really dumb.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            I have no trouble speaking, thank you.
            You must be very misinformed and self-righteous.

          • Serai 1

            How about Monomanical Snore Maker?
            Mendacious Sac Muncher?

            I know, I know! Monotonous Self-Milker!

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            Melodious Snake Muncher!

          • Serai 1

            I dunno. He’s pretty discordant.

          • Dr. Krieger IRL

            True.
            Melodramatic Slanderous Marmoset, then? It seems rather on-the-nose.

          • Serai 1

            On the nose can be good!

          • Odd Jørgensen

            Manic snot muncher?
            Melancholic sperm mop?

      • Juan de Fuca

        Say, you know who’s beginning to strike me as a complete A Idiot?

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          You know, I don’t! Could it be someone I know?

      • Jonny On Maui

        There’s that mirror again.

        • Serai 1

          It’s a wonder he hasn’t shattered it.

      • Serai 1

        Well, you’ve certainly prove your expertise at callousness and self-worship.

        • Cool_Hand_Luke

          Here ya go. Aunt Jemima in all her glory. “This” is responsible for the death of Harambe. Poop Poop Poop.

          • Juan de Fuca

            That escalated quickly!

          • Jonny On Maui

            His thrump is showing…

          • Juan de Fuca

            Tempted to get a screen shot just in case, but too bored.
            What’s the SITREP on your road?

          • Jonny On Maui

            The water folk came out, dug a little and said, “Yup. That’s a leak. We’ll be back.” And they left. Hope to see them again tomorrow…

          • Juan de Fuca

            Damn, that sucks man. Hopefully by “We’ll be back”, they meant, “We’ll figure out a plan for this and will get it repaired ASAP.” Hopefully, that is…

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            You mean the Emperor Donald J Trump?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Now we know your fap material.

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            You know nothing. I came here as a roaming lion by accident. Stuck around to stick it to ya.

          • Jonny On Maui

            With thrumps peen? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

          • Juan de Fuca

            Roaming Lion is the name of my new dub-step/reggae/ska band.
            Couldn’t resist up voting that.

          • Jonny On Maui

            This is a better roaming lion than our friend CHL

          • Juan de Fuca

            Very good point. On that note, I’m out. Good luck tomorrow with that river of yours. Laterz.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Have a good evening!

          • Cool_Hand_Luke

            Why wait.

          • doktorzoom

            Well then. You see, at first I thought you were an asshole attacking a woman you don’t know. But you’re a racist asshole on top of that, so bye! Say hello to the banhammer, and we’ll be seeing you again Sunday.

            Edit: leaving this fine example of your work up so people know why you’re gone.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Thank you for the playtime!

          • BloviateMe

            Baffles me, Dok, it really does. I remember pre-Disqus he was, if I remember correctly, Cool Hand Nuke? He was usually pretty damn funny.

            Seeing that fucking Jemima post was sort of like watching Kramer do his N word freak out, I didn’t see it coming.

          • doktorzoom

            Comment history is hidden, but I’m assuming this is not a regular.

          • BloviateMe

            I’m pretty sure it is, I notice the funnier ones…ultimately, doesn’t matter, that did it for me.

          • doktorzoom

            Hmm.. I chose the “delete all comments in last 30 days” option, and I’m not seeing anything deleted past today (only went back a week. So whatever happened to Cool Hand Nuke (who does sound familiar) I think this was just a moron who had no idea what Paul Newman’s politics were like.

          • BloviateMe

            Hope you’re right Dok, otherwise it’s sort of like watching someone like Fukui or Smitallica suddenly being a racist douche…an awful out of nowhere from someone you thought was pretty cool.

          • doktorzoom

            No problem, it was clear you were picking a couplle of decent people at random and saying “as if” they had gone bad, not saying they had.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Hadn’t seen ’em before but I’m still new.

          • Lark_in_the_AM

            Thank you. It’s well deserved.

    • Hannah Augsburger

      I understand that logic, but you have to understand that she was also handling 4 children at once. That’s a lot for one person to keep track of, and she should have known better.

  • SeeTrain65

    Don’t have kids of my own, but my sister has three. I used to babysit all of them. One day, my two nephews, both toddlers at the time, were screaming to go outside. I had to carry the younger one and hold the older one’s hand. As I went to put the younger one down, the older one sprinted from me. As I went to chase him, the younger one started walking toward a steep hill. I caught the younger one just before he fell over the hill, then rushed back to see the older one running down the middle of the street. Not a busy street, but one well used and packed with parked cars on each side. I finally caught him before any cars came down the road.

    I agree it’s devastating an endangered animal was killed, but I can sympathize with the parents. I literally only takes a millisecond for a curious child to get away, especially a young child. So I hope you won’t belittle me for being of two minds on this subject.

    • Lamashtar

      This is pretty much why I became a hermit after having a kid, and decided abortions were better than having more kids I could not handle.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Our spawn demonstrated that evil is inherited. Even with 2 on 2 they were a handful. Spawn #2 rated a leash. Yes, got very much bad juju side eye. I just offered those folks the end of the leash and an opportunity to play parent to the little spawn, Had no takers, what a shock…

      • Politics_Nerd

        You’re one of THOSE!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Why yes, I am! {blushes}

          • Politics_Nerd

            :::points and laughs::: (and feels sorry for your poor pet (kid).

          • Jonny On Maui

            Were it 22 years ago I would offer you the leash. Then I’d laugh.

          • LadyLaz

            I leashed mine and f em all, jonny.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Preach it sister!

  • Cool_Hand_Luke

    Here’s to you buddy. You didn’t deserve your ending.

  • BloviateMe

    So sad, everyone loses on this one. Sort of surprised at the animosity on display here. I was raised in a large family. I had kids. Three year olds are the worst. Keep your terrible twos, three is worse, as far as I’m concerned. They need constant supervision. 30 seconds alone, and you can find them trying to stick a butter knife into a socket. They are THAT bad. If this mother was a first time mother, I’d maybe be willing to give some slack, but she was an administrator at a daycare business, it would appear?

    Never ever ever would I enter a situation at a zoo around the crowds, the potential fall sites, much less dangerous animals, with less than a 1 to 1 parent to kid ratio with kids that young. Say what you want, but this mother really did not plan well. I’m not saying she’s evil, but that was some piss poor planning and certainly worthy of question. I’m in no way OK with the pubic persecution sans all the info, but yeah, I think she should be questioned. That’s fair.

    On the other side, implying a gorilla’s life is more important in the long run than that little human is a bit rough. Yes, that may be technically right, but it’s also technically right to say someone with a genetic disorder shouldn’t be allowed to breed, as they may pollute the gene pool. Tough to align yourself with philanthropy if that’s your stand. Not a stand I could, or ever would, make.

    Having said all that, humans created both these situations. A gorilla put in a position where a small human could intrude, and a small human not monitored well enough to prevent it from happening. Those two were the two innocents involved, ironically enough.

    Awful all the way around.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Agreed and very well stated.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Mother of 4 as far as I can tell, or at least the father has 4 kids.

    • Hannah Augsburger

      Well said, that’s exactly what I was thinking.

  • mailman27

    So many of my countrymen are so fucking awful. Jesus wept.

  • Annie Towne

    Remember 1986, when Baby Jessica fell down the well? I do not remember one single person writing anything AT ALL about how her auntie (whose house she was at), her mother, or her father was neglectful, bad, evil, or anything else for “letting her” fall. The internet is the problem–people who are anonymous and given a forum will entertain themselves with this vile nonsense. Before that, only people who had more or less proven they weren’t insane had access to the sort of media that got their opinions a public airing.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_McClure

    • doktorzoom

      I’d imagine water cooler conversation was plenty judgmental, though. And a sampling of letters to the editors of some papers might turn up some rants about her Terrible Parents (who were teens at the time). I don’t know that the internet has made people any worse; it’s just given the worst a megaphone.

      • Annie Towne

        And they feed off each other, try to top each other, and probably get a thrill from saying things they know are terrible.

        It’s possible there was some chatter, but my recollection is that the whole country was riveted on the rescue attempt. Certainly the parents weren’t investigated, which the AP reports the cops are now doing to this boy’s mom and dad. I think the cops have succumbed to the pressure from these assholes on the web. There’s a change.org petition now, asking for “justice” for Harambe because the parents were to blame.

        • Odd Jørgensen

          Nothing on that linky about the Zoo incident. Just the homepage or whatsnot.

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  • Mary Sandoras

    I am out here by Cincinnati, so there was plenty of coverage of the event here. That particular zoo was written up several times due to inadequate enclosures for their animals. As of the day of the event, no corrections were made. However the truth doesn’t matter to the poop flinging humans. It was a sad call to kill the gorilla but a correct one.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    “Yr Wonkette is once again wistful our species isn’t more closely related to bonobos, who instead of fighting in stressful situations, restore social tranquility by simply fucking a lot.”

    Think! If the rage monkeys at Breitbart and other asylums acted like bonobos, they would breed like rabbits, and Drumpf would already be Preznit.

  • too blind to see

    shows you just HOW influential the media is on our lives whether you want to admit it or not. How all this racial hatred would be pushed to deep underground if the media wouldn’t do everything to keep it alive and running

  • Relativicus

    “Yr Wonkette is once again wistful our species isn’t more closely related to bonobos, who instead of fighting in stressful situations, restore social tranquility by simply fucking a lot.”

    “Hey, you going to tonight’s ‘Cold War Key Party’? The Russian ambassador is hawwwwwwwwt! Plus, I caught her checking you out during the BDSM affair in Kunduz!”

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Those comments are difficult to read. Really.

  • Gwennie_G

    Doc, do you have some sort of special cleansing ritual to purify yourself after wading through the cesspool that is the Breitbart comments section? I feel gross just from skimming the little nuggets you shared.

  • Lee Hillhouse

    Wow, I haven’t seen this many “removed by moderator” posts, ever on one thread, at the Wonkette. Amazing.

    Firsts, I am one of those people who thinks the human animal is no more important than any other animal. However, I am fairly certain if some deranged human was doing the same thing to the child and could kill the child at any moment, they too would be shot. Not that the gorilla is guilty of anything nor did the gorilla put the child in the cage. I am just pointing out there may have been no alternative feasible action. I do want to point out that the gorilla who saved the child’s life in that other incident, was a female and this gorilla was a male. I am not implying any greatness over males. I am just pointing out that they may have different responses to a human child, an intruder, appearing in their midst.

    My first response was to blame the mom, as people do because blaming the mom is so damned easy. I wrote a long outraged post, on my FB page, about the horribleness of this mom and how all her children should be removed from her custody. Then I realized if no tragedy happened and it had just been a human interest story about different ways people spent Memorial Day, she would be written and talked about this way: “Wow, cool mom, taking her kids to the zoo on Memorial Day.”

    About an hour later I guess, I took the blame off the mom and put it on the zoo. (cover ears) “THERE SHOULD BE NO POSSIBLE WAY FOR THE CHILD OR ANYONE, NOT AN EMPLOYEE, TO BREACH THE HABITAT. GRR.”

    Now? First, I am a 62 year old childless lesbian but I have been around and cared for, many many children. I used to co-direct a daycare center that took everyone from newborns to after school kids. …and many of my friends and relatives have children. I have cared for children many times and they have always been a part of my life. …and so I KNOW, from first hand experience and from my knowledge of psychology and child development, the way children normally behave.

    I know that when a child is the age of this little boy, barely post toddler, you can look down and see them at your side, glance up for one fucking second, to thank the clerk, look back down and the child is a block away. I used to joke about it being some magical trait we later grow out of. The ability to transport ourselves short distances.

    So, no more mom to blame. I put it on the zoo. One person, here I believe, says that the zoo had been cautioned before, for safety hazards. One person on my FB page, says the zoo has never had anything like this happen before, is exemplary in its safety precautions and is a wonderful wonderful zoo. Maybe there is more protection they could install. Maybe they will. Mostly, I am fairly certain they did not have an intentional opening hoping a child would fall in. ….and in their defense, in their entire history, no other child has fallen in.

    So why do we all jump on the blame wagon? Why is that the only way we know how to deal with grief? …because it takes our mind off the grief and off our impotence at being unable to change what has happened. Grief is an excruciating emotion. Also, a response feels loyal. We want the gorilla to be honored and loved and not blamed for his own demise. He was an innocent. …but now I think they all are. It was a tragedy. Could it have been prevented? It is easy to say that in retrospect. ….but there really is no one to blame. If it ever happens again, I would question how good the zoo’s precautions are. …and maybe there should be a rule about number of children per number of adults. All of this is easy to say, now. Ten minutes before it happened there would have been no complaints about the mother or the zoo.

    …and the people who bring race or the prison record of the dad, into this tragedy, are total idiots and racists and unkind and heartless and inhuman and FUCKING ASSHOLES.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Reading Breitbart comments appears to be a soul-deadening experience.

  • Hannah Augsburger

    I don’t have kids, and I have visited the Cincinnati zoo.
    That being said, I do have experience with children. And I do think both parties were definitely not innocent. First of all, Mrs. Gregg should not have taken so many children to the zoo at once. Anyone who’s been around children can tell you that 3 year olds are crazy curious and will get into ANYTHING. She really should have known not to take on too much responsibility at once with 4 children. Second, the railing is only 3 feet high, and I’ve noticed this before when visiting this zoo and I’ve witnessed many parents trying to keep their kids from going over the fences. So, in my opinion, both the Zoo and the mother should have known better.

  • like really Herambe didnt need dat but damn the internet is a Damn real shamed up place

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