SHARE
Via Flickr
Via Flickr

Another day, another server in hot water for writing mean things on a restaurant customer’s receipt. This is probably the first time we can remember with one of these stories where the customer seemed just as douchey, though.

Via the Washington Post, four customers were out for a night of Chinese food at Peter Chang in Arlington, Virginia. Everything was going swimmingly until the server brought out a family-style rice bowl. This was apparently extremely confusing for one customer who had lived in Beijing. Another member of the party, Matt, asked why the rice hadn’t been brought in individual bowls.

The server told the group that when rice is served to three or more diners at Peter Chang, it comes in a large bowl. The former Beijing resident thought that was odd, considering the family-sized portion ran counter to the personalized bowls he encountered in China. The server then asked if the foursome would like individual rice bowls instead. They declined.

“She said, ‘No, no, I can bring it for you,'” Matt related. “He said, ‘No, no, don’t worry about it. It’s fine. Just wanted to let you know that’s the way it’s done in China. It’s not a big deal.’ … It just got really awkward.”

In what universe is snooty claims about authenticity from someone who had happened to live in Beijing for a little bit not a dick move? More importantly: who gives one single solitary shit whether family style vs. individual portions is “authentic?” Even leaving that aside, we’re pretty sure China is a BIG FUCKIN’ PLACE and “how they do it in Beijing” does not = “how they do it in China.” Besides which, if Matt and his friends had wanted individual bowls, it’s clear they could’ve had them. Even if the one customer was right about authenticity, what exactly does pointing out an imagined lack of it accomplish other than making you look like a smug dickrocket?

Anyway, the restaurant’s servers were definitely making fun of the table in the back (we make fun of all of you), and when it came time to pay and the foursome asked for separate checks, the server said “That’s totally how they do it in China.” (Points for smartassery.) When the receipt itself came, though, it included the phrases “im a plad [sic] asshole” and “i have a small penis.” (WaPo has pictures of the receipt, if you’re curious). Needless to say, the customers were outraged, and being given a gift card by the restaurant wasn’t enough to salve their righteous anger, so they took the issue to the Post.

While this has happened before, we haven’t typically been on the server’s side in these instances (which tells you something, because we’re on the server’s side pretty much all the time if there’s any possible justification for being so). Then again, we’ve never had to deal with one of these stories where the customer seemed like an insufferable hipster. “But how do you know they’re hipsters?” you ask. Three of the diners were wearing plaid and they tried to correct the restaurant based on imagined claims of authenticity. Of course they were fucking hipsters.

That said, even if the guy is a jackass (and ooh, this guy certainly appears to be), don’t write shit on receipts where customers can see it. That’s just a dumb move all the way around, and there are plenty of ways to make fun of deserving customers where they can’t see it.

Regardless of the fact she shouldn’t have done it, however, no, the server should not be fired for this. If you think she should, you’re an asshole, the end.

[WaPo]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • JohnBull

    They should sue the restaurant. That’s totally how they do it in China.

  • therblig
  • Oblios_Cap

    They should arrest the customers for “hooliganism”. That’s how they hang in China.

  • DerrickWildcat

    She should have Kung Fued them in the face like they do in China.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Kong Fooey? How will rearranging the furniture help?

      • DerrickWildcat

        That’s Wang Chung.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I plan on walking into my local Taco Hell and complain that “Mexican Pizza” isn’t authentic Mexican food

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Oh you don’t add cut-up hot dogs? Because that’s how we did it when I lived there.

    • Duke

      Gotta wait for May 5th.

    • willi0000000

      drive in . . . that really gets their attention.

    • fka_donnie_d

      Mentioned before, always worth repeating; there are Taco Bells in mexico. They’re marketed as American food.

  • FlownOver

    1. Shoot the customers.
    2. Add the cost of the bullet to the check.

    • Captain Kraut

      That’s not the question, you never use votes with hipster, those guys are way too self absorbed to ever visit a voting booth.

      You have to shoot them ironically or it won’t stick.

  • cleanfront

    So while in country, Plaidster MUST have learned the ‘ancient Chinese secret’. Kudos to him.

  • schmannity

    The hipsters left and then took a shit in a rice paddy, just like in the PRC.

  • Mpeg

    Miss Swan could’ve schooled those bitches~

  • Belasaurius

    insulting the customer is how they do it in China, what’s this guy complaining about?

    • Creepoman

      And Chinatown too – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsel_Ford_Fong
      “world’s rudest, worst, most insulting waiter”

      • OneYieldRegular

        San Franciscans will line up for anything if it involves some form of self-abasement, such as being yelled at by a waiter or paying $5 for a cup of coffee that tastes like bergamot or whatever. It’s like the Soviet Union except that they do it willingly, not because they’re starving.

        • Tendernob

          Sadly true. (see Red Door Cafe.)

        • HogeyeGrex

          I have of late taken to calling it Insufferablecisco, regardless of how much I love the place.

          You have, however, started me thinking on a way to cash in on my contempt.

      • H0mer0

        Edsel’s still alive? And still insulting customers? Or did he pass the baton on to another Ford?

        • Creepoman

          No – he died a while ago. Sam Wo’s actually closed their original shithole (but authentic!) location and recently opened in a new spot. Not sure where, and I could probably google it, but I’m just too goddammed lazy.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      France, China, same difference.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I glanced at the menu… I’m just glad that none of the dipshit hipsters went:

    “How can it be AUTHENTIC Chinese food if there are no chicken balls*, General Tso* and Chop Suey* on the menu?”

    *not real Chinese food

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Just give me a big can of Chow Main and it’s like I’m back in the Forbidden City.

    • Chicken Balls? What does Donald Drumpf have to do with this story?

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Who ordered the tiny chicken hands?

    • HogeyeGrex

      What about these?

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Crikey, talk about thin-skinned! Customer says something dumb but rather innocuous and it ramps up to this? If it were me as the server, and I have done this job, I would have laughed it off and moved on with my day. I like to save my rage for things that are a bit more important. I generally try to come down on the side of servers, because customers can be giant assholes, but I’m having a hard time feeling much sympathy here.

    • Msmlg1979

      If I got that upset every time a customer said dumb shit to me, my head would explode. Some days it gets close. Then again, who knows what else had happened to the server that day? This hipster may have just been the straw that broke the server’s back, with his smugness and crossbody man bag. ;)

    • some of us have a special place in our heart for hipsters – the darkest, most murderous place. I’ll forgive a clueless redneck far more than I would a smugly stupid marketing drone.

  • beatbort

    Was one of the other diners named “Todd”? I thought so.

  • DerrickWildcat

    In China, the hand can be used as a knife! So they better be really careful. Maybe it is in Japan that they do that. They probably can both do it. China is just across the river from Japan and they are really good friends.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Neither side got to worked up about the whole “Rape of Nanking” thing. Merely a small misunderstanding amongst friends.

      • BloviateMe

        Only some of them are rapists. Some are good people, I assume.

  • SessileRaptor

    Quick hipster story. I had a co-worker who was married to a hipster, and to be fair was a hipster herself. But at a certain point she realized that there were things she was an unabashed geek about (like harry potter) and she wanted to enjoy those things without irony. Except her husband could not stop himself from hipster-hating on everything, even stuff his wife enjoyed. They’d talk, he’d promise to let her enjoy her stuff without rolling his eyes and being a jerk, and then he’d backslide. Eventually she gave him an ultimatum, her or hipsterism. He loved her, he knew his marriage was on the line, but in the end he couldn’t stop being a jerkass hipster about everything and she divorced him over it.

    Hipsters are the worst.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I don’t have to pay my ex-wife alimony, but I’m doing it ironically.”

      • TheRepoCode

        “I have hired a lawyer and everything. I made sure he looked like Harry Hamlin on LA Law, remember the opening credits for that show? So redic.”

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “The day I made him wear the gorilla suit cost extra, but totally worth it.”

    • marxalot

      I unironically enjoy things. It confuses the hell out of some people. One of the guys in my grad program has hipsteritis so badly that he can’t even understand the concept of genuinely enjoying something. It’s sad, really.

      • SessileRaptor

        At that point I think it pretty much becomes a version of toxic masculinity. You’re putting up a shell between you and the world so nothing can hurt you, but by doing so you’re really fucking yourself up emotionally.

        • except that it also resembles 12-year-old hyper-geekdom, which is childish: “my favorite craft beer is so perfect that everyone who drinks anything else is clearly subhuman” isn’t too different from “anyone who plays any star wars game other than KOTOR is clearly a poopyface.”

          • commatoes

            I imagine many of them growing up into an early “Frasier” seasons, version of Niles Crane.

            Or uttering the phrase, “I just can’t masturbate to ‘mainstream’ porn anymore. Only with porn directed by Lars Von Trier can I even hope to get an erection.”

          • got to work in the phrase “we creatives” – managing a startup’s twitter feed is basically the same as art school right?

      • Captain Kraut

        I do irony ironically, it confuses the shit out of them hipsters.

    • DemmeFatale

      Please tell an old about this hipster thing.
      What is it, and why would anyone want to be one?
      (I have asked my 26 and 29 year old daughters, and they just laugh at me.)

      • Blank Ron

        I am ever so happy that my daughters (who are of an age with yours, nearly) are geeks instead of hipsters. And geeks for stuff I like too.

        • H0mer0

          “here’s your throat back, thanks for the loan.”

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        It can be very confusing, because some bearded plaid wearers just like plaid, and some are hipsters. But if you see a guy in denim overalls, no shirt, and a glass gallon jug tied around his waist with twine, he be a hipster

        • DemmeFatale

          Thanks.
          Hipsters seem to be universally reviled.
          Why would it be worth it to be one?

    • Jay
  • Latverian Diplomat

    Yeah, she won with the separate checks burn. Should have stopped there.

    • Swampay

      And with the pissing in the General Tso’s Chicken. Although to be fair it’s pretty hard to get really authentic General Tso’s chicken outside of Beijing.

      • Tendernob

        General Tso’s chicken isn’t even from Beijing… it was invented in the 70s by a chef in Taiwan.

        • Blank Ron

          Still counts as China.
          – China

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I wonder if he got the tones right when he said Beijing.

    • DemmeFatale

      Yeah, when my mom returned from there she said it was Bay-jing, not Bay-zhing to anyone who would listen.
      But now, I think she has given up. (Thank God.)
      I’ve heard both.

      • H0mer0

        when I returned from Italy back in the mid ’80s after being a student there for 9 months, I would pronounce it like “eetally” but I gave up on that also too.

        • Abyss

          See also Cairns, Melbourne, Canberra… after spending a year in Australia.

  • cousin itt

    For the next Chinese New Year, Donald Trump will eat a bowl of peasants on live teevee to show his love for the Chinese.

    • BloviateMe

      “I love the slants.”

    • Abyss

      It’s all about the Wall.

  • In the age of instant internet poutrage, don’t make it easy for the douches and write insults on the receipt. Just spit in the food like restaurant staff has always done.

    Sheesh, kids these days…

    (Disclaimer: Do not spit in food it’s just gross and disgusting and if you’re caught you can get into a lot of trouble… but you probably won’t be caught…)

  • ez

    Is there a point where Hipsterism and Old Fart Cynicism become one and the same?

    • Duke

      Yes.

      When you’re still trying to be a show-off about your coolness but are actually not. Somewhere around 33 it’ll hit you that all that cool stuff you know isn’t valuable.

      • SDGeoff

        And deep disappointment will set in when you find out you can’t sell your vintage tattoos to collectors.

  • marxalot

    Slightly OT, but it looks like a polite debate erupted over tacos last night here in ATX. Can’t wait for Campus Carry. And I don’t think I will.

    • Spotts1701

      alcohol may have played a part

    • Why wasn’t there a good Taco with a gun there to stop the madness?

  • Spotts1701

    It’s rice, for cryin’ out loud! Everybody got their knickers in a twist over rice, and of course the customer wants to make a federal case out of it because God knows there aren’t any other options (which the server and the restaurant offered).
    Server was wrong, customer was wrong, accept the apology and the gift card, and move on. GAH!

    • Abyss

      No irony in that.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Clifford Clavin approves this customer’s fun-factiness.

  • Joshua Norton

    Edsel Fong, a San Francisco legend, would have put their hipster asses in a coma!

    • Darkrose

      I was at AT&T Park yesterday, and I almost ate at the Edsel Ford Fong station, because I kind of wanted Chinese food. (I went for the insanely overpriced but yummy crab sandwich instead.) I had no idea about the story behind it!

      However, I do know where your name comes from, and that it’s awesome.

  • cousin itt

    Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II was overheard on camera describing Chinese officials as “very rude” during a conversation with a senior police officer at an event celebrating her 90th birthday.

    Did not know the Queen is a hipster. Damn royalty thinking they are owed respect.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/queen-elizabeth-ii-calls-chinese-officials-very-rude-n571861

    • H0mer0

      how do you overhear something “on camera”? [I’m assuming they mean “video” but I heard that luudes can cause synesthesia.)

  • Joe Beese

    Sorry, no. One of the things the restaurant is paying the server to do – and not the least important thing – is to not insult the customers who keep it in business. The server was not doing their job. When someone doesn’t do their job, you fire them.

    I say this as someone who works in customer service and occasionally has to deal with people whose sins against civility go far beyond being a pretentious hipster. Even if they insult me to my face, I have no right whatsoever to reply in kind. Even if my employer didn’t care, it would be beneath my dignity as someone who tries to do their job well.

    If that makes me an asshole, so be it.

    • Msmlg1979

      Agreed. Working with the public is hard. I think we all know the world would be better if we were all a little nicer to each other, but a lot of folks can’t manage it. I have to do a great deal of venting after the encounter is over, but I’m being paid in part to put up with certain behaviors, so I do it, and throw something or scream after they leave.

  • Duke

    Jebus…

    I thought the machines just automatically wrote “has a small penis.”

    • therblig

      skynet knows what makes us tick

    • H0mer0

      it’s like reading the fortune in your cookie and adding “in bed” to whatever was written.

  • This has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but it came up after Schmannity’s post, and this is one of the funniest SNL clips I have seen in a long time. I hope y’all enjoy it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nAz-vVYeNA

    • Belasaurius

      my drainer and my stainer

      • Malaclypse

        my fun bun and my mud gun

  • ez

    Jack Burton knows just how to deal with Hipsters

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A65Jq6NKdeI

  • DerrickWildcat

    The fermented scorpion faces were delish. However, the rice presentation was totally unacceptable.

  • jmhm

    I’m just gonna throw this out there: when I went to visit Italy, I ate in restaurants and I ate in the homes of my family. In restaurants, we were served individual portions of most things. In the homes of my family, I ate family style. Authentic restaurant style is not really the same thing as the authentic style of people who live in a place and cook the food for themselves.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Wait until they find out that half their rice bowl got recycled from some other customer’s plate…

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    What? No fish stomach on the menu?

    • MrBlobfish

      Really. If there isn’t roasted pigs and ducks in the window, your authenticity may vary.

  • Rick Hill

    I wonder if they noted the General Tsao’s was not the same style as they encountered in beijing…

  • MrBlobfish

    Peter Chang’s is the Olive Garden of Chinese food. I’m surprised they didn’t ask for more garlic bread.

    • TheBidenator

      I was just thinking the same thing- they are the ones with those shitty frozen meals you cook in your pan. That a hipster whined about lack of authenticity from that place means that yes, he is a plaid asshole and probably has a small penis.

    • JKMas

      No no no. This is Peter Chang, not P.F. Chang’s. The restaurant we’re discussing is a local D.C. area establishment with a top-notch chef who specializes in Szechuan cuisine. It’s a fantastic restaurant. So while the hipsters are still D-bags, you could walk into this place with expectations with regards to the food, though admittedly not the size of the bowl your damn rice came in.

      • MrBlobfish

        I stand corrected.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    I work a block away from Peter Chang’s in Williamsburg Virginia. The servers there are always awesome. Even if they weren’t, the food is so good, particularly the deep fried eggplant spears, which these hipster assholes ordered, that I wouldn’t care if the servers physically abused me, I would still go eat there.

  • chiefkurtz

    Attention: girls on first dates are not impressed with guys who act douchey to servers.

    • Msmlg1979

      Red flag! Red flag! Red flag!

      • Pickwicknext

        Even worse than random taxidermy or lampshades made of skin

        • Msmlg1979

          On my first official, real date, at 16, my date locked me out of the car because I said I didn’t like Nascar or Dale Earnhardt, and refused to let me back in until I said I loved them both. Not really sure why I ever dated again.

          • Pickwicknext

            Oh FSM! Dating is the worst.

          • Msmlg1979

            Right. I’m 36, and it hasn’t gotten much better in 20 years.

          • willi0000000

            sure it has . . . now you probably have a cell phone and can just call for a ride.

          • Msmlg1979

            If it happened to me now, I would handle that alllll kinds of differently.

          • Suttree

            In my imagination…….

          • Msmlg1979

            That’s actually eerily close to what I had in mind when we were discussing this earlier.

          • Suttree

            I actually took that picture. Someone carjacked this car about a mile away and burned it directly in front of my shop in NOLA. I was working inside and wondering why there was a damn car alarm going off for so long.

          • Msmlg1979

            Jesus. There’s probably never been a carjacking where I live! A few cars stolen here and there, but not a carjacking.

          • Suttree

            They are a much rarer occurrence now then back in the 90’s at the height of the carjacking craze but they still happen on occasion. My shop was just in this weird area that didn’t have much traffic and backed up to a pretty bad neighborhood. The rent was cheap though! I haven’t even heard of a carjacking back here in New Jersey when they happened daily when I was a kid living here.

          • Msmlg1979

            I don’t even lock my car doors most of the time. This area is very quiet and (relatively) safe. I worry more about bears than people.

          • Suttree

            Last time I lived in Vermont I didn’t lock the door to my apartment for four years (unless I was going out of town for more than a week), and pretty much never bothered to take my keys out of the ignition. Occasionally I came home to my neighbor drinking my beer, but he was a good friend.

          • Msmlg1979

            I have always lived this way. I’m pretty sheltered in some ways.

          • Pickwicknext

            I just turned 35. Went on my first date in 2.5 years a couple of weeks ago. It went nowhere

          • Msmlg1979

            Your date was obviously blind and stupid then!

          • Pickwicknext

            That is my assumption! However, the topics i am most knowledgeable about (politics) are not considered appropriate public conversation…

          • Suttree

            And that is why I don’t mind being single for years at a time. I take my time to find a woman with just the right amount of crazy. Nothing has worked out yet, but I have had a number of relationships that have lasted for years.

          • Msmlg1979

            Me too, but next time I would like GOOD years. Happy years.

          • Suttree

            You will get them!

          • Msmlg1979

            You’re sweet. :)

          • Suttree

            It comes naturally, I was raised by the kindest mother in the world.

          • Msmlg1979

            Not all boys with kind mothers turn out kind themselves.

          • Suttree

            Unfortunately, I guess I just got lucky. Actually really lucky considering how my father was when I was young.

          • Msmlg1979

            Luck had nothing to do with it. You made a choice to be a good guy.

          • SeeTrain65

            “Do you know how to make right turns? Your hero doesn’t. Neither does anyone in your chosen ‘sport.'”

            – Me, if I were you back then.

          • cynmac

            I would’ve told him to fuck off and then called my mom t come get me. But I was cold blooded in my youth.

          • Msmlg1979

            Sounds like a very reasonable reaction to me.

          • H0mer0

            I was a very awkward adolescent so I didn’t date. In college and afterwards, I never really dated, just took prisoners.
            I just couldn’t get the hang of the give and take of dating. I won’t elaborate on what I do now.

  • TheRepoCode

    DC is so full of people who travel on their employer’s dime and like to talk about its amazing effect it has had on their life and all the authenticity. It puts the server’s extreme reaction in context for me, maybe this was just the final straw. I had to get that off my chest, I will now go back to monitoring the boiler room for the rest of my shift.

  • TheBidenator

    I’m confused….how did the server know Matt has a plaid asshole? Did she follow him into the restroom? OMG, they have CAMERAS ON THE TOILETS! IT”S ALL TRUE! BAN THE TRANSGENDERS!!!!!

  • witsended

    Why did they not sort it out at the time, like these nice folk?

    Mother’s Day Brawl Breaks Out at Atlanta Japanese Steakhouse

    The melee, caught on film, involved customers and employees at the Kiku Japanese Steakhouse and Bar in East Point.

    EAST POINT, GA — Police are looking for five people who were involved in a Mother’s Day brawl at a south metro Atlanta Japanese steakhouse.
    The fight broke out on Sunday at the Kiku Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar in East Point, GA.
    According to a police report obtained by Channel 2 Action News, the melee started when a female customer berated a busboy, Demonte Harrison, for smiling. Harrison, who was cleaning tables at the time, told the woman it was his job to smile, and that she couldn’t tell him not to smile.
    Then another customer, a man, punched Harrison, and three other men in the group began punching him as well.
    Harrison’s fellow workers jumped in to defend him.
    Restaurant owner Charlie Son estimated he lost about $5,000 in business on Sunday. No one was seriously injured, but to make matters worse, the patrons who started the fight never paid their tab, but just got up and left after the fight had ended.

    http://patch.com/georgia/cascade/mothers-day-brawl-breaks-out-atlanta-japanese-steakhouse-0
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTYe1ibmU9M

    • … What the actual fuck was that? THAT GUY’S SMILING! GIT ‘IM!

      • willi0000000

        pee-ons aren’t supposed to smile!

    • cynmac

      Even worse, there was a shooting at a high-end burger joint at Lenox Square mall. People be crazy.

  • ObamaIsGarbage

    Probably a worthless Obama voter.

    • DerrickWildcat

      Yeah

    • chiefkurtz

      I’d say all Obama voters were useless after winning re-election, unless he runs for another office next year.

  • chiefkurtz

    You know how to find out if an American lived in Beijing (or Paris, Rome, Cairo, etc)? The same way you find out if they went to Harvard: they work it into the conversation within 60 seconds.

    • Rick Hill

      Gawd help you if they also crossfit while being vegan.

      • therblig

        do you even lift chopsticks, brah?

        • Maria Eaton

          “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!ne486etwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !ne486e:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsSquareGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!ne486e….,..

      • John Frum

        So a vegan, a crossfitter, and a Guy Who Lived In China were in a bar, and we know because they FUCKING TOLD EVERYONE

    • edith prickly

      You don’t have to ask, they’ll tell you.

    • SpideySenser

      I count my blessings that I have had the opportunity to do lots of international travel in my day. Full disclosure – I have never lived outside of New England. That said, I only bring it up if someone else mentions that they have been to such and such a place, and only if they are sincere and not bragging about their travel. People who shove it in your face are dickheads. I have an acquaintance who has never left North American and works it into every conversation about her “international experiences”. I suppose Mexico, Canada and the Caribbean do count.

      • theblackdog

        I like this. Usually I bring up travel if it’s because someone mentions travel to the same place I’d like to compare notes on experiences. Otherwise no one needs to know about if I traveled somewhere.

        • SpideySenser

          Exactly, my friend. Travel safe and often.

    • I totally do that with the fact that I briefly lived in Paris.

    • chimichanga

      I totally agree with you. We talked about just that while at the Louvre and one winter at Antarctica on a Harvard science expedition. Penguins are only at the South Pole and you would know that if you’d been there. (sniff) Oh and my research shows that the pyramids are grain storage units.

  • ObamaIsGarbage

    Why do liberals think that one man violently ramming his throbbing member into another man’s rect*m and slamming it against his prostate while screaming loudly in ecstasy and releasing gallons of sticky, greasy splooge deep inside as the adopted children sleep next door in the “family” home qualifies as a “courageous expression of love and dignity?”

    • VirginiaLady

      You want the soup or the egg roll with that?

    • Msmlg1979

      Turgid love muscle dude! Hi!

    • Hutch

      Guys! Guys! Turgid love member is BACK!

      • ObamaIsGarbage

        Awww, you remember me! That’s so sweet!

        • Rick Hill

          The gayest man on the interwebs? Who could forget…

          • ObamaIsGarbage

            Right, because obviously anyone who can accurately describe gay sex is gay himself.

          • Rick Hill

            You seem to think about it more than any gay guy I’ve ever met. Just sayin’…

      • Aww, I missed ‘im again!

        • H0mer0

          i’ve seen his noncomments before, buttsechs, always trolling for buttsechs…

    • MrBlobfish

      Rect*m? Damn near kill*d him. I think I used that gag last time he was here. I need new material.

      • mfp

        pffftt…i use that joke every day, if/when possible…it never gets old–thankyou, richard pryor

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        FUCK I missed Turgid????

        Goddamn it. Now my day is ruined. RUINED.

    • YourNameHere

      Would it kill you to work in some foreplay?

      • Hutch

        Maybe dinner and a few drinks first?

  • VirginiaLady

    Our local Peter Chang’s is known for the wait staff being very opinionated. True story: When a co-worker went to get their take out order, it was wrong. The cashier’s come back was “That’s what you get for voting for Obama!” Locals avoid that place like the Golden Corral, and like the Golden C it gets most of it’s business from tourists. Oh, that same cashier is still there.

    • non-sequitur performance art? or flaming asshole? You Decide!

  • ObamaIsGarbage

    Hey hipsters, if you support same sex “marriage,” what you’re really saying is that you don’t think there’s anything wrong with a deviant man shoving his turgid love muscle into another man’s enlarged sphincter and getting a state “marriage” license to bless that sodomy. Never forget that!

    • Msmlg1979

      That IS, in fact, what I’m really saying!

      • Mimihaha

        I’ll bet he thinks about sodomy a lot. Since he can’t get anyone to sodomize him.

        • SDGeoff

          Now I am sorry I missed the deleted comment. Sodomy? In my lo mein? Heavens!

          • NoGoodnik

            Not fair! Can’t they delete the comment, but still leave it where us late comers can read it.

          • H0mer0

            I think Dok will save it for the “deleted” file if it’s good.

      • edith prickly

        Oh, did I miss teh buttseks enthusiast again?

    • Belasaurius

      good morning sunshine

    • jwtukker

      Wow! It’s like you can read my mind!

  • Rick Hill

    I wondered how the guy read the insults on the receipt of this “Chinese” restaurant. Oh, PF Chang’s….

    • MsAnthropesMr

      See my comment above. Peter Chang and PF Chang are not interchangeable.

  • witsended

    Being nice to your local Domino’s Pizza employees could save your life.

    An attentive Domino’s delivery driver likely saved a customer’s life Sunday after the man stopped calling for his regular pizza.

    Tracey Hamblen, an employee of the Domino’s at Silverton Road Northeast in Salem, called the Marion County Sheriff’s Office to report that he had not spoken with Kirk Alexander for 11 days. Alexander, 48, regularly ordered pizza, and Hamblen knew his customer suffered from severe health issues, said Lt. Chris Baldridge, sheriff’s office spokesman.

    When deputies arrived at the 4100 block of Penticton Circle Northeast, they could hear a man calling for help from inside his home. They found Alexander suffering from medical issues that could have ended his life, Baldridge said.

    http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2016/05/man_saved_after_dominos_delive.html

  • I like to bring up the fact that I lived in China for a month as much as the next guy (hey guys, did you know I lived in China for a month?) but I try not to be a dick about it…

    • Hutch

      How was your rice served? That’s the burning question!

      • Well, once it came in a big bowl with a whole cut up chicken in it. My food staring at me was a bit disconcerting…

    • NoGoodnik

      “Why, that’s nothing! When I watched Michael Palin’s “Pole to Pole”…” said in a loud brassy voice!

    • Jennifer Nicole

      I only tell people I was in China for a month when I try to explain how hard it was to make requests with my very limited language skills. It was the only time I have ever moo’d at a server because I only knew the word for “meat”, but not specific types of meat. D; But at least I did get the beef I wanted. XD

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    White people should not eat in Chinese and Southeast Asian restaurants full stop the end tired of the lau-fahn not understanding that family style is the way it’s done.

  • They got Panda Express in China?

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Just a note for Wonketteers – this is Peter Chang’s – Amazing, authentic Szechuan food. World renown chef.

    NOT PF CHANGS – SUCKHOLE NOT CHINESE FOOD.

    I <3 Peter Chang. I would eat there everyday.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Most restaurant food in America is not authentic, at least from my admittedly limited experience. I dated a woman from Hong Kong for a while, and the day-to-day cooking was nothing like anything I have ever seen on a menu (except the fried rice, there was always a big pot of fried rice on the stove in case anyone got snackish, and it was delicious). Some of it was very good, mind you, but some of it would never make it in America; Pig-tail soup with actual pig’s tails comes to mind.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        糖醋或豆瓣酱

        One of the dishes at Peter Chang’s. Not the typical fare. I have not had pig intestines there, but I know they serve them.

      • Amalga

        Just go to San Francisco; Chinatown, Richmond or Sunset districts. You would be amazed what is available. Not to mention yummy if you are willing to try it.

  • T Kevin

    Three people have been fired over this…

  • Scooby

    臭屁客人!

    • Land Shark

      公鸡 Libelz!!!1!!1!

      • Scooby

        I’m not familiar with that one. It’s public & chicken but what does it mean together?

        • Land Shark

          Apparently, Google translate thinks that’s the translation for “rooster”

          • Scooby

            雄鸡.

          • Land Shark

            Excellent … thank you. So ….

            雄鸡 LIBELZ!!!!!!!

          • Scooby

            You SOB I’ll get you for that!

          • Scooby

            It’s quite often I see several characters together and I know all of them but the unified meaning is quite different.

  • FZsdaughter

    These are the same people who lisp, “Barthelona” after an hour’s layover in Spain.

  • Blackest Noobs

    i know being half-asian i am usually half-right about asiany things, specifically Korean, but i SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO love it when some whitey corrects me about something Koreany…never mind the fact i was raised on Korean food.

    i pride myself on being a bit of an expert on kimchi, eating it not making it of course.

  • What a presumptuous waiter. Didn’t she know that customer knew about all the Asian cultures? He dressed as a geisha one Halloween for chrissake!

  • NoGoodnik

    I like Chinese food.
    The waiters never are rude.
    Think of the many things they’ve done to impress.
    There’s Maoism, Taoism, I Ching, and Chess.

    I like Chinese.
    I like Chinese.
    Their food is guaranteed to please,
    A fourteen, a seven, a nine, and lychees.

    https://youtu.be/7DqvweTYTI0

  • OddMan

    Ahh, it’s so nice to read about some douchey hipster and a restaurant pissy fight rather than politics. Thanks C. A.

  • NoGoodnik

    Hopefully, when they come with their voucher, she’ll be their server again.

    • MegPasadena

      Unfortunately, she has been fired over this.

      • NoGoodnik

        Maybe, she’ll get a better job and not have to put up with dicks like this guy.

        • Vienna Woods

          Not at Baskin-Robbins. Baskin-Robbins always finds out.

          • Rab Simpson

            Always.

          • NoGoodnik

            I know those dirty bastards at Baskin-Robbins think they’re so smart with their 31 flavors. Ben and Jerry’s is where she should work. They’d be cool. Maybe even make a flavor, “You’re a plaid asshole.”

  • SpideySenser

    I was at a restaurant on Nantucket a number of years ago and had to send my entree back (first time ever!) as it was undercooked. I was advised by the server that “That is the way it is done in NYC”. I advised her that we are now at this moment on Nantucket, could I please have it cooked a bit more. Apparently I am not hip.

    • willi0000000

      it always amazes me that some waiters and chefs know better how i want something cooked . . . better than the way i specifically ordered it.

      dear chef: you aren’t eating it so cook it as ordered, please.

      [ . . . if you are eating it, i want a different one! ]

      • Mickey Donovan

        Did the chef complain that you put pepper on your meal too? Believe me, it has happened.

      • SpideySenser

        And I’m not even fussy. If it’s a tad off, no problem I’ll eat it. Way off and it goes back. I have sent food back only enough times to count on one hand.

    • Buzz1313

      This is something I have never quite understood. I was a career waiter in Chicago in a few fine dining establishments. Yes, chefs had ways they wanted things done but it bugged the hell out of me when my fellow servers would talk down to customers like this! Answers questions, make suggestions and treat them with respect and the customer will do the same in return. There were jerks, sure, but it was few and far between for me.

      • SpideySenser

        Good to know a career waiter is on the same page with me. I was a bartender for a number of years in my youth, nice little college hours gig. I enjoyed it and was OK with fixing the drinks to the patrons liking unless they were jerks. And by jerk I mean belligerent which sadly but infrequently led to being shut off.

  • MegPasadena

    Wow, according to the update in WaPo, four people end up being fired for this.
    Two waiters and two managers!
    It doesn’t feel right.

    • katydid13

      I’m not sure if it’s fair or not, but it wasn’t just this. This was the second or third time they’d had to talk to this server about this kind of stuff.

    • KeithOK

      Post article doesn’t address whether the servers’ claims were correct (apart from spelling.)

    • Jennifer R

      Of course margins for restaurants being what they are a couple weekends of people sitting out going to the place would likely bankrupt it.

  • TheRepoCode

    The Washington Post article has an update that the owner fired er’rybody. And they are bringing in the dreaded consultants to tell people how not to insult customers. I hated being subjected to consultants when one of my troglodyte coworkers did something nonsensical like nail gun themselves to a wall or tell another coworker they “weren’t racist but…”

    • John Frum

      I guess I’m gonna have to cop to being kind of an asshole, because I have mixed feelings about this. I WILL refuse to patronize AND join a campaign to mock and harangue a restaurant that fires a server for posting something churlish a customer wrote on a check. In this case, I’m still on the side of the servers – just not this particular one. Not for insulting the customers. Insulting customers is just plain fun. But when you’re so mentally incontinent your dumbshit splatters on MY paycheck, get outta here.

      If you’re just pushing back against a douchebag, that doesn’t even count as being rude. Especially if it’s your third round of managing 20 shit tipping douchebags at once at it’s not even 9:00 yet. And especially if it’s a bunch of squishy muttonchops who use Food Network as the culinary Fox News. Have at ’em!

      But there’s a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it, and the wrong way will get you fired. Period. Everyone knows this. Don’t use foul language. Don’t use personal insults. Don’t allow yourself to look like the aggressor. And DON’T give them a goddamn receipt for it!

      Putting abusive language and childish insults in writing on something the
      customer can take out of the store and do exactly what they did
      is the deal breaker for me. If you forced a hostile confrontation in which you are clearly and provably wrong, you lose. You get nothing. Good day. Also, having it become a planetary nightmare is easily forseeable.

      Because it happens all the time, both to employees and customers. And when it’s something this egregious and indefensible, it’s guaranteed to go viral.

      Whatever you think of the guy who owns the restaurant, at some point
      he’s a guy who has put his whole life and everything he owns into it. If you put him at risk of having it all burn it down AND become a national disgrace, a massively disproportionate response is also easily forseeable.

      This shows a person either so stupid and/or so spoiled to being rewarded
      for sucking up that she and her little klatch [including that manager] thought they’d be given a pass for anything. There’s no way this is the first time their behavior has come out of the pockets of other employees.

      And now, a bunch of people who needed that paycheck a lot more than she did are going to fall behind on their rent, lose health insurance, and probably have trouble finding another job through no fault of their own. Fuck her.

      • melllt

        I think I must be an asshole too. These guys may have been d-bag bros, but trying to call them out on their check is even stupider. Apparently the manager was Chang’s daughter, and he fired her.

        • John Frum

          That’s exactly the thing! Like I said, there’s a right way and wrong way to go about having your fun in that sitch. Leaving it so they can rub your nose in it AND make a federal case? If that’s how you go down, it’s just chlorinating the gene pool.

  • anwisok

    Apparently, Pinot Blanc IS traditional. Who knew?

  • I Only Like Cats

    As someone who reads more manga, manhwa, and manhua than can possibly be healthy, family style is pretty common (depending on the size of the family). Also, who cares??? exactly 1% of Chinese restaurant food is authentic, and it’s the rice.

  • Meccalopolis

    Should have served the some cream of sum yung guy or made pee pee in their coke

    • The Witch of Endor

      And my family wonders why I’m never up for eating out. Note, I’m not an asshole customer but I’ve read/heard too many stories about food sabotage and been in the company of assholes who warranted food sabotage for me not to be really paranoid about strangers preparing my food.

    • Serai 1

      That’s spelled “gai”, not guy. Please be authentic.

      • Meccalopolis

        aw man, I hope they dont revoke my hipster card now

        • Serai 1

          They might take away the stupid hat, though.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    This one time I sat next to a guy from India so I henceforth declare myself the expert on all things European.
    I also wear plaid (it’s a nightgown, so it counts). I can haz lofty ivory tower outrage and be a dick to everyone expecting, no, demanding that there be no consequences?

    (pst, servers, next time just spit in the tea. The douchecanoe is not worth it).

  • theblackdog

    I need to go back to the pictures to confirm it, but my experience in Beijing was that rice basically came either way, depending on the restaurant. Of course, a number of the dishes I had didn’t come with rice either. So the customers were definitely douchebags here, though the servers learned the hard way that you should never make fun of the customers using the POS.

    • KeithOK

      That’s also been my experience in Arlington.

  • SheketBevakaShutTheHellUp

    Peter Chang issued a statement:

    My company has fired Qian Cheng, the manager on duty on 05/07, and the waiter and waitress on duty. Manager Lydia Zhang will also be fired after the investigation is completed.

    Well, I know where I won’t be eating.

    • Mahousu

      Eh, he was kind of stuck at this point. BTW, Lydia Zhang is actually his daughter. Their family name is 张, which he chose to romanize as Chang, while she chose Zhang. (Disclaimer: I met him once, at one of his other restaurants, but it did not make me an authority on how they do things in Beijing.)

      • SheketBevakaShutTheHellUp

        Surely they could have fired fewer than *four* people over this.

        • Serai 1

          And get the whole hipster community at Twitter down their necks?

          This is what comes of witch hunting on the web. The overreactions are part of the fun.

        • Douglas E. Berry

          Nope. There were multiple incidents involving waitstaff acting inappropriately and management letting it slide. Chang is laying down the law for his other managers. Do it right, or get out.

  • Toomush_Infer

    What’s wrong with the traditional Chinese method of just spitting in the rice?…

  • NorthStarSpanx

    “im a plad [sic] asshole” and “i have a small penis.” Isn’t this verbiage for libtard in Fiore and Trump’s America?

  • natoslug

    I’d trade that waitress for the one I had serving my family on Saturday any day. Saturday’s waitress spent the two hours it took to get our meals blaming the kitchen for everything, including her delivering appetizers to the wrong tables and tripping over the tables on occasion. In her defense, there were four tables in use pretty much the whole time, as she couldn’t be bothered to clean more, and actually started yelling at a prospective group of diners who asked if they could just clean one of the many dirty tables themselves and sit down. Also in her defense, the vodka fumes whenever she stumbled over to our table to deliver the wrong food, or to forget the food but say it would be out in a minute (four days later, and I still don’t see my damned salad), would have incapacitated pretty much anyone else.

    • Vienna Woods

      I just had a total idiot girl at the movie theatre manage to fuck up a simple order of a hot dog and popcorn in 3 different ways.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    This is called showing off. I have a friend who lived in Japan for 14 years, and who traveled frequently in China, and she does very similar things every time we go out to eat together at a Chinese restaurant. She just loves showing off her cultural superiority to strangers. Also to friends, which got annoying so I no longer put up with it. Last time we had Chinese food together from a buffet (hint: this is not how they serve food in China) the pieces of chicken and broccoli were not cut small enough to eat gracefully without choking to death (hint: they never are at buffets), so I fetched a knife and cut them smaller. She protested loudly enough for nearby tables to hear that “In Japan or China, it’s an insult to the hostess to cut up your food at the table, it means she didn’t cut the food up small enough.” I said, loud enough for nearby tables to hear, “Well we’re not in fucking Japan or China, we’re in Missouri, and they didn’t cut the food up small enough.” I don’t go out to eat with her anymore.

    I went to a Chinese restaurant in England once, 30 years ago, and was not aware that rice did not come with the meal, as it does in the US. It had to be ordered separately, so we didn’t get rice and had to ask for it. I don’t know if that is still common in England, or if rice comes with the meal in China or not. I suppose I could ask my friend about this, but I’d rather not.

    • DMBarrett

      In England (and most other parts of Europe), it usually states whether you get rice (or whatever) with the meals on the actual menu entry or in the menu section header. Or you can ask the server.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Thanks, I’m glad to know that. It was a Sunday in Devizes, and the Chinese restaurant was the only one open, and we were tired, so obviously we didn’t look at the menu carefully enough. We made assumptions, which one should never do when traveling.

        • Amalga

          Devizes is a neat town and has a great little museum about the barrows and Avebury Henge. When I was there (also awhile ago) the docent described himself as a warbride! He had married his English sweetheart after WWII and stayed in her town. The rainy afternoon with him was a great way to spend time. I also ate the best beef barley soup of my life in Devizes, got a verbal version of the recipe and have made it ever since.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I am glad to hear that Devizes has a good side. We pulled in at 6 pm after a long day of driving and sightseeing, the hotel was creepy beyond words and the hotel staff were obtuse and unfriendly, all the restaurants were closed except for the Chinese one, where we were the ONLY customers and the wait staff were very rude. I had no desire to ever go back there. But based on what you say I will reconsider for my next trip.

          • sw19womble

            Wot Amalga said. Devises is great, a horsey town and a good stopping off point for Avebury (love it), white horses, ley lines, Glastonbury, etc… if you’re into all that.
            Or just head to Bath, which is a lovely town, roman springs and an excellent “ghost walk” – at least it was 15 years ago, even when I laughed out loud at an inopportune moment (black sense of humour).
            Out in the sticks, everything closes down really early if you’re not careful. I have the same problem on road trips round the US.

          • Amalga

            So a Sunday then. The hotels in the provinces can be sort of weird but they can be weird in the US on the blue highways too. Just don’t miss Avebury; not nearly as spectacular as Stonehenge but older.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            This hotel was definitely creepy. It was like something out of “Jamaica Inn” and “Sweeney Todd.” I never miss Avebury, or Stonehenge, I go to both every chance I get. There is nothing in the world to compare with the first sight of Stonehenge from the top of a hill north of Salisbury. I read that they moved the road slightly since I last saw it in 2000. I hope that first view is still there. There was a lay-by conveniently located at the top of the hill so you could pull over and take a long look. The first time I saw Stonehenge in 1968 you could still walk among the stones and touch them, which was awesome, but it’s really better now, you get to stand back and see them in all their glory with no crowds milling around. Last time I was there it rained, and then a rainbow came out. Joy, joy. I dream of living in Salisbury and going to see it every week, but alas! I live 4000 miles away.

            See this high res photo of Stonehenge, which I use for my computer wallpaper.
            http://www.highreshdwallpapers.com/stonehenge-wallpaper/

          • Amalga

            Love the photo!

            What amazed me about seeing Stonehenge for the first time (in a January with a partial solar eclipse on my bday) was, 1. How compact it actually is; and, 2. How close around the housing developments and industrial parks are built.

            You see these amazing photos and it looks like you are out in the middle of nowhere. But you are not.

            I lived in far northern Alaska at the time where there are vast expanses of very lightly populated land and flew from Barrow to England. Stayed at a wonderful B&B in Nether Wallop. I was very surprised at how everything was so close together compared to the expanses I was used to. My host said, “Well, for those of us who live close together it is somehow comforting to know that there are still vast areas of wild.”

            I am looking forward to my next visit!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The concept of distances is totally different in Europe and the UK. I’ve read English books in which people say they lived “miles from the nearest town” and then later they say it’s about 4 miles. You can drive for 100 miles through Montana or Utah and not see a single town. On the other hand, I lived in St. Louis for 20 years, and small town friends would come to visit and ask how far such-and-such a store was, and I’d say “Oh, it’s quite close” and then drive for 15 minutes to get there. They’d say “You said it was close!” Well, that is close in a big city.

          • Amalga

            Yes.

          • Volt Owner

            Americans think 100 years is a long time, Brits think 100 miles is a long distance…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s an exceptionally clever line. May I steal it?

          • Volt Owner

            Feel free, it’s already been.

            The tagline I added is “What about them Aussies then?” Use that, and royalties will be due… (The usual fee is quotes around it. )

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I thought of adding “Your parents think $100 is a lot of money.”

          • Douglas E. Berry

            Same thing for the pyramid complex at Giza. All the photos show the Sphinx and the pyramids in stark isolation. In reality Giza is a pretty big suburb of Cairo, and there’s housing and shops just across a road. You also don’t see the car parks, the cafes, and the souvenir stands that little the place.

          • Volt Owner

            I worked a couple of weeks down by Southampton. Asked around the office how to get to Stonehenge, the answer was “Dunno, never been.” Turns out is was a 3 hour train trip with a half hour layover in the middle. Oh and a taxi from the station. Cabbie pointed out a big stack of hay and said “You just missed it, last week the farmer had Hayhenge set up.”

          • Volt Owner

            That’s a great shot!
            I use one I took myself, with lots of graffiti in it.

  • to a hipster’s “mind,” of course Beijing = China, because Junior Year Abroad = Italy, Brooklyn = US, and Your Brother’s Condo in The Mission = California.

    Oh, and since when is Peter Chang’s Chinese Food? It’s better than Panda Express, but you can’t really call it Chinese.

    • KeithOK

      As another commenter noted, this is Peter Chang, not the big chain PF Chang.
      Peter Chang has six restaurants in Virginia, and one in Rockville, Md. If the restaurant you’re thinking of is somewhere else, you might be thinking of the other one.

      • JayGoldenBeach

        A waiter at a PF Change in Tampa once corrected me on the pronunciation of “pad thai” – since he was clearly not Asian, I asked if he spoke Thai – “well, no, but they train us how to say the foreign words” – LoL.. Thankfully my g/f cut me off to tell him we would both have iced tea to drink.. PF Chang = Pffft.

    • Mahousu

      Peter Chang’s is amazing, trust me. Try the Hot and Numbing Noodles (麻辣小面), which live up to their name. (麻辣 could also be translated “troublesomely spicy,” BTW.)

      • John Frum

        Thanks for the Chinese characters. That’s totally how they do it in China.

        • Mahousu

          Nah, if you were a true hipster, you’d sniff that I was using simplified characters.

          • Or an Alex Jones type who considers simplified characters TOO COMMUNIST.

          • Volt Owner

            Still better than PinYin, if you can qiu on that…

          • Wǒ kàn dào nǐ zuòle shénme yǒu.

          • John Frum

            Nicely done! But I’m way past the sell-by date to be a hipster. I only like my earlier stuff. :(

          • Douglas E. Berry

            “I was totally into Chinese until they sold out and used simplified characters.”

  • I wonder for how many of us this will sound like “somebody we dated.”

    • close: years ago a friend of mine in college once lectured the waiter at my favorite felafel joint on how they make felafel in Israel. The waiter was from Syria – real slick, Erwin, you shoulda been part of the Model UN.

    • Serai 1

      How about “somebody we married”? * raises hand *

  • Mahousu

    A little background, if you’re interested: Peter Chang was the chef for the Chinese Embassy, until he fled a few years ago. There was a period of a couple years where he was more or less in hiding, until he could get his green card. To support himself, he’d show up at Chinese restaurants in the area, and ask if he could cook for them. Which of course they’d agree to – he’s an excellent chef. He’d do it for a while, until outsiders would notice how much better the food was at the restaurant, and guess he was there. So then he’d have to flee again, and find a new restaurant to hide at.
    A couple years back, he finally got his green card, and was able to open his own restaurant. Now he’s expanded into a mini-chain, though there have been complaints he’s been expanding faster than he can really manage.

    • Jay

      Did he not see that episode of “The Facts Of Life” with Jo’s pizza???

      • John Frum

        Or anything featuring Gordon Ramsey?

  • JKMas

    Nah, these guys should maybe be fired…it wasn’t an isolated lapse in judgement.

    This is one of those stories with literally no sympathetic characters. The customers are insufferable, pretentious douches who wore their second-hand lumberjack @#$% to a nice restaurant, and then had the nerve to whitesplain ethnic cuisine to an ethnic restaurant. They probably *do* have small dicks, to boot.

    But holy hell, did you read the details of the article? This has already happened. With these same servers. Repeatedly. These staffers are *idiots*, or they have the softest manager in existence. And speaking of which, what was that manager thinking? You have a customer who was presented a bill with a message like that, and you offer a $20 gift card for next time? Wow.

    Yeah, nobody should lose a job for slipping up like this once, but they have apparently done this to customers multiple times and THAT’S NOT ACCEPTABLE. And based on the update to the article, it looks like the owner agreed, because they all got sacked.

    Gotta have standards at some point.

    • John Frum

      “There are no sympathetic characters” is exactly the right way to frame it.

    • Serai 1

      Whatever happened to comping a dissatisfied customer’s bill, for Christ’s sake?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Thanks for explaining about the plaid. I was wondering what “plad” could possibly have meant. Paid? Placid?

    Also, I might very well have fired the server, or at least suspended her. Calling someone an asshole and saying they have a small penis ON THEIR RECEIPT is dickish and stupid. If that makes me an asshole, then so be it.

    • Serai 1

      Yeah, I’d have hauled their asses on the carpet the very first time they did that. Doesn’t matter if you can erase it after you have your laugh – this shit is too easy to have happen. Scribble notes and stick ’em on the order carousel if you want, but no dicking with the actual receipts. Seriously, where are their BRAINS?

  • I have it on good authority With Six You Get Egg Roll.

  • AmusedAmused

    As cultural sacred cows go, authenticity is one of the most overrated. If everyone always stuck to being authentic, the pinnacle of haute cuisine today would still have been raw carrion with a side of tree bark.

    PS: I’ve never been to China, but I’ve eaten at non-white-people-oriented Chinese restaurants, as well as in Chinese homes, and I didn’t perceive any taboo against serving rice in one big bowl for the table. And that’s another thing about “authenticity”: know-it-all hipsters often think “exotic” cultures have strict and narrow rules for doing things, and that even the slightest deviation constitutes a risible faux pas.

    • a_pink_poodle

      It’s not truly authentic unless you actually tackle the sabertooth tiger with your friends and maul it to death!

    • Serai 1

      This douchebag probably saw a documentary about a particular restaurant in Beijing and instantly assumed every restaurant in China did the same. I mean, the fact that he said China just tells you he extrapolated.

    • mailman27

      Is risible faux pas some kind of rice dish?

      • MrCanoehead

        Yes, but it’s French, so it’d only be authentic in a Vietnamese restaurant.

    • Invidosa

      It’s kind of racist when you put it that way isn’t it? Like “those backward exotic foreigners! They’re so strict on the weirdest shit ain’t they?’

  • JayGoldenBeach

    Back in college, a sweet young waitress at a local Thai restaurant buffet schooled me on smaller portions: Instead of loading my plate up with a mountain of rice and a volcano of spicy veggies, she said it tastes better to make a smaller portion, eat, have another portion, eat, etc.

    An older waitress chimed in, “Yes, yes, small portion also looks better, we won’t run out of food, hehe.”

    Saved me from gluttony! Cheers.

    • sw19womble

      I go to the buffet table with the best intentions, but…. oops I did it again. :/

    • handyhippie65

      i’m sorry, but all you can eat is a challenge. if you can see your plate, you’re doing it wrong.

      • Frank Underboob

        MURRICA!

  • Iron Monkey

    I wouldn’t have fired them for complaining about customers. I would have fired them for being too stupid to not complain in the back room like everyone does everywhere.

    • edith prickly

      Yeah. I understand the frustration, but you don’t put it where the pretentious douchebag can see it. You draw a cartoon on the whiteboard in the back or do impressions of them after they leave. Or start saying “that’s not how they do it Beijing” when you pick up your orders

      • commatoes

        You give them pithy names like the “the GQ Lumberjacks” or the 10 pound hipster in the five pound jeans or facial rat’s nest or those guys that wear plaid but have rreeaallyy soft hands/moisturize more than they need or the “pomade parade”. Have fun with it.

        And tea, served family style, soup, served family style, main dishes/veg/sides, served family style, but not rice. Oh hell no, we want authenticity. Though, I wonder if it was a method by which restaurants were able to increase profit margins. Not many would pay $8.00 for a serving platter of plain rice but splitting it into four bowls and charging $2.00 per bowl somehow seems more reasonable.

        • Invidosa

          “pomade parade” I like that one! Going to have to save that one for later use.

    • Buzz1313

      Exactly! That’s how we did it when I waited tables.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    Chan eil e a ‘choire a’ bhreacain. They’d have been insufferable no matter what they were wearing. :-D

  • HogeyeGrex

    That rice was so much better with the original bass player.

    • jmk

      I like another way of serving rice…you probably wouldn’t have heard of it yet. It’s really obscure.

    • Invidosa

      I liked rice waaay before anyone ever heard of it.

  • Iam Reading

    I may be wrong, but everyone in this story seems like an asshole, wait, Arlington? Yup, assholes

  • richardgrabman

    Was I being dickish at the “Mexican” restaurant in Cedar Rapids,Iowa when my Panamanian boss and I started ordering our food using correct Spanish?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Not enough evidence to go on. Maybe, though, depending on what ‘correct’ means.

      • richardgrabman

        The server’s reaction was puzzled looks. Ah well, we’re all assholes some of the time, though I try not to be an asshole all of the time.

    • TundraGrifter

      Probably.

    • xhris

      If the waiter didn’t understand you, you picked the wrong mexican restaurant. Yes, even in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

    • Tansy Geek

      Did you correct his grammar? Or tell him the cheese was not real queso and he feel badly about it?

      • mailman27

        Maybe it was Cedar cheese?

      • richardgrabman

        As I recall, the server was a she, not a he. Sorry, long time ago, and other than fessing up that I can be as dickish as anyone. In my defense, I can say I am not now, nor ever have been a hipster.

    • handyhippie65

      if they spoke spanish, mebbe not. if they didn’t, probably so. ask yourself, was i trying to communicate my wants, or was i just showing off.

    • Serai 1

      Did you try to tell him how you know for a FACT that it’s served differently in Mexico City?

      • richardgrabman

        Wasn’t the serving I was talking about, but the server’s understanding of Spanish pronunciation. Though, come to think of it, as a resident of Mexico City (and a dual U.S.-Mexican citizen) the dish in question was something I’ve only seen in El Tex-Mex, a “foreign food” restaurant near the U.S. Embassy.

    • Douglas E. Berry

      Heh. A friend took me to an authentic Mexican place in Manhattan. The server didn’t understand a word of Spanish and couldn’t pronounce the names of the dishes correctly.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    The guys who left the comments need to be fired. The on-duty manager, maybe. The manager who wasn’t there seems like overkill. I gather that the culture didn’t start overnight, but it seems like punishing the whole class instead of the one or two people who did the thing.

    • brucej

      They got their management training from Ripley “Nuke it from orbit…it’s the only way to be sure.”

      • Douglas E. Berry

        It was the owner of the chain that did the firing, and it came after previous instances of using the POS system to make cracks like this.

        I support these firings. The managers were doing a terrible job of enforcing standards set by ownership. I learned leadership in the Army. When people you supervise screw up, it is your fault for not providing the leadership and oversight required. Even if you weren’t present for the screw-up.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          And people get fired all the time in the restaurant business. Turnover is expected, they can probably get another job easier than in some industries.

          • Douglas E. Berry

            Same thing in most skilled (and serving is a skill) service jobs. You can always find a new gig pretty quickly.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            IDK, I think being asked to leave a job is a bigger red flag in most other jobs. But I have no numbers to back that up, just the sense that foodservice was the only industry I’ve worked in where people got fired all the time and it didn’t seem to be an issue.

  • IknowRIGHT

    Hipsters? WTF cares? Tie their skinny jean legs together hide the laces to their chucks unravel their beanies and change out their sustainable low fat vegan greek yogurt for the full fat High Fructose corn syrup fake blueberry flavored shit so that they will be so despaired they will have to stay home and write bad prose on a their blog about the cruelties of the status quo of an unenlightened world and post obscure quotes from dead people on twitter that they googled while sitting in their undies eating their nasty full fat real yogurt.

    • ahughes798

      Real yogurt Libelz!11!!!

    • HorseChestnut

      Man, that is a lot of different kinds of yogurt in one comment.
      ETA: DANNON $HILL!

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    I was into Peter Chang back when he was touring dive bars and putting out EPs on vinyl.

  • TundraGrifter

    Speaking of Asian rice – if you haven’t seen “East Side Sushi” you should!

    • John Frum

      Or “Jiro Dreams of Sushi”. That’s become one of my all time fave documentaries.

      • Serai 1

        That is a brilliant film.

  • SecludedCompound

    I’m not a huge defender of deriding everything someone from another culture does that does not originate in their culture as appropriation or bigotry, but damn dude… if you’re a White Boy named Matt™, maybe don’t bust your Chinese restaurateurs’ balls about how rice is served.

  • xy

    truly a story where no one comes out looking good. customers that are assy fucks, servers that are really fucking stupid. managers that have no balls and just fire everyone. it’s the feel bad movie of next year.

    • Jennaratrix

      The OWNER fired everyone – including the managers. I’d say it was a clusterfuck all the way around.

  • SadDemInTex

    They should have just spit in the food like a normal server or written something appropriate in Chinese characters.

    • 我是中国人,我玩笑话

      • snark-lurker

        Sey wut?!

        • That’s what Google Translate gave me for ME CHINESE, ME PLAY JOKE

          • snark-lurker

            “Zoom”=tech the google goes over my head so we are amazed easy thx for answer to out headscratch.

          • Morrigan in Oregon

            I am Chinese, and I joke
            is what I got from Google Translate

      • phoenix00

        Not to be pedantic, but that’s not the correct strain of Chinese

        (and no, I’m not gonna write the correct one. I can’t read that one)

    • Frank Underboob

      你他妈的gwailo

  • Mahousu

    The worst thing is, I’m not convinced the customers were hipsters. You have to understand, the level of entitlement and insufferability is so high in the DC area, that hipsters just sort of blend in (well, except for the tats and the ironic glasses). Most people are fine, of course, but the general jerk level is about 2x most other places.

    • Tansy Geek

      I keep picturing Jonah Ryan from Veep.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      You haven’t lived in Newport Beach.

      • TheBoatDude

        “Do you know who my father is?”

        • Frank Underboob

          Don’t you?

          • MrCanoehead

            Ooh, burn!

    • Frank Underboob

      Three of the four were wearing plaid, though.

    • Dutchman

      Were ManBuns involved? If so, then any and all abuse was deserved.

  • Zhu Bajie

    I can tell you that it’s common, everywhere in China, to bring out the rice in a big bowl and then you spoon some into you individual bowl.

    • sw19womble

      No, I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

    • Frank Underboob

      Yeah? Which Chinese cities have you eaten in?

      • Volt Owner

        You want a list? Too many!
        And, yes, they still serve Peking Duck in Beijing, at least for tourists.

  • Tansy Geek

    I know whenever I think about getting food at a place called Peter Chang’s in Arlington VA, I am expecting a wholly authentic Chinese experience. As in, the waiters speak only Chinese, the menus are printed in Chinese and the guests either speak Chinese or have someone translate for them, or they keep their mouths shut. Also Stephen Chow cooks the whole meal at the table. Other wise it is fake and not worth eating no matter how good the food is. Dickheads, these children are.

    • Frank Underboob

      This is true, at least of the places I’ve eaten at in Beijing. Even in the middle of the city, almost nobody speaks English, & the menus are 100% Chinese.

      • Tansy Geek

        See, totally authentic. But does Stephen Chow at least put in an appearance ?

        • Frank Underboob

          Not that I recall, but then I have no idea what he looks like. I wish had, though, because he could’ve helped me with the menus.

          • Tansy Geek

            I keep forgetting you only get Stephen Chow when you dine in Hong Kong. If you like Kung-Fu comedies, I strongly recommend his stuff. God of Cooking was lots of fun, but Kung Fu Hustle (not food related,except for lollipops) is the best.

    • Invidosa

      I loooove that movie!!

  • Serai 1

    Not just the receipt. The crack about the bill was not a good idea, either. Do your snarking in the back, not to the customer’s face. Because otherwise, you deserve that lack of a tip you got.

  • jen

    Yeah, she did deserve to be fired. For stupidity.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      “Regardless of the fact she shouldn’t have done it, however, no, the server should not be fired for this. If you think she should, you’re an asshole, the end.”

      -Pinkham.

      • Serai 1

        Yes, that’s what Pinkham thinks. Not what everyone thinks.

        • Florida Farmer

          Maybe that’s totally what everyone would think in Beijing. (No, unlikely.)

  • Cindyinencinitas

    My friend is a server of German extraction and his last name is Schmuck*** (I thought it best to obscure the last bit of his real last name). Anyway, on all of his receipts he is listed as “Schmuck” and one day recently a customer flew into a rage because he thought that my friend had used the name to identify that customer. It took him quite a while to talk the customer down. He was ready to call for the executions of all involved.

    • Morrigan in Oregon

      Duh! My last name was Breth*** and I had someone ask if I had offended them. (It was on my ticket)

  • BetsyBleedingheart

    There’s a Peter Chang’s in Richmond too, but I refuse to go because it just seems so supremely not worth the wait.

  • H0mer0

    Sounds like there was butthurt on both sides of the equation. Why would the server care how they do it in Beijing(was he trying to show off?) and why would plaid hipster dude who lived in Beijing be “extremely confused” by the serving of rice for the four of them in a big bowl? Why would penis size be an issue anyway (and it’s not like the Chinese are known for large genitalia)? So much derp and distortion.

    • Frank Underboob

      It was the hipster who cared how they (allegedly) do it in China, not the server, who undoubtedly didn’t give a shit. I too have eaten in Beijing, but that doesn’t make me an authority on Chinese eating customs either, & besides, they vary around the country anyway.

      • H0mer0

        I was thinking that the “client” or “customer” got his panties in a wad over something trivial and in a nation of a billion people, there has got to be some heterogeneity in the way any restaurant serves its clientele, otherwise, why would you choose one restaurant over another. Also too, if the restaurant was serving a lot of Americans, they might have realized how insular merkins are and thought it wiser to give them their own doggam bowl (makes more sense in a community with limited resources to have one serving dish from which you serve yourself so you can share if the entrees are big enough.)
        The server must have been having a bad day ‘cuz the messages on the receipts were unnecessary; I have patients who I find personally abhorrent, but I still try to lot out for their interests the best I can (unless they stiff me, keep lying to me, or page me all the f—ing time then I encourage them to seek care elsewhere since my transference might bias me and do them a disservice by continuing to treat them with those unknown biases.) Some of it might be a maturity and a neurochemical thing

  • dxyseilc

    I would say those hipsters aren’t as serious about authenticity as they tried to act at first.

    “That’s not how they do it in China.” Well guess what? You’re in America. And in America, when you say shit like that, your servers will laugh at you and make jokes about your clothes and your genitalia. How’s that for authentic, bitch?

    • Enfant Terrible

      Especially when authentic frontier gibberish comes out of your pie hole.

  • Louis_XIV

    If these smug assholes really wanted an “authentic” experience, maybe the cook should have used some of that famous Chinese gutter oil to cook the food.

    • Frank Underboob

      And pork made of cardboard.

      • lynchie

        you mean pork made from rat

        • Frank Underboob

          No, seriously, cardboard stewed up with pork to bulk it out. Keep the hell away from street food in China.

  • Maria Eaton

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!ne486etwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !ne486e:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsSquareGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!ne486e….,.

  • Frank Underboob

    Ooh! Now this is a topic that’s ripe for Pinkham’s Lawsuitors! [rubs hands together in glee]

  • Frank Underboob

    There are very few things you can say that apply to the whole of China – especially not about food. Imagine if you ran an American restaurant in Beijing, & some Chinese hipster berated you – in Mandarin, of course, not English – for not making their pizza the same ‘authentic’ way they had it on that one tourist trip to NYC. I will say though, that the server would’ve smarter to mock them in Chinese instead of English.

  • MrCanoehead

    There used to a restaurant in my town called Reuben And Wong’s. I loved their authentic Chinese/Jewish menu. They had an egg roll the size of a Little League baseball bat.

    • Volt Owner

      Genghis Cohen?

    • Jukesgrrl

      There was a great food emporium in Toronto 1970s-1990s called Ginzberg and Wong.

      • lynchie

        been there, authentic jewish/chinese fusion

      • Andrea Pilati

        I think it was Ginsberg & Wong… It was a big treat to go there after we went to the art gallery as a kid, and for birthday parties. They served their food in bamboo steamers, and had really long, spiral-like cut french fries. And the best hot dogs. So good. I think my dad loved it as much as me and my cousins all did. :)

  • Douglas E. Berry

    No, the servers needed to be fired. Mock the hipsters after work. Laugh about them over a few beers. But in this case, the servers had been warned before about leaving these kinds of notes on the POS system.

    • Jennaratrix

      Well, you got your wish; not only were the servers fired, two managers were fired as well. I’m sure the hipsters feel vindicated now.

      • Douglas E. Berry

        It’s not about them. They were wrong, and that’s something for the staff to roll their eyes over and submit to blogs like the one formerly hosted here. But the staff screwed up, the managers screwed up, and the owner did the right thing.

        Dealing with the public means dealing with morons and smiling about it. These hipsters ordered food, ate it, and paid. That they were snotty jerks means nothing in the end.

        • Laura Ingalls Wildest

          ***Dealing with the public means dealing with morons and smiling about it.***

          Stealing this for next staff meeting.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Imma jus gonna assume you are the plad asshole.

    • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

      Oh, poppycock! They were being ‘plad assholes’ and they knew it! The customer is not always right!

      • Douglas E. Berry

        No, they aren’t In fact, the guy who coined the phrase ended up broke and died in an insane asylum. But my point, which you missed, is that the staff screwed up by mocking the customers in a way that could go public. That’s bad for the business, and the owner had to fire everyone to save the business’ reputation.

        Had the customers done anything worthy of an ejection from the restaurant, it would be a different story. But being a snotty know-it-all isn’t that.

  • goonemeritus

    Letting asholes know they are assholes should be considered the highest form of educational service.

  • At the corner, turn left

    Anyone who can’t understand a concept as basic as “That’s the way they do it there. This is the way we do it here.” is richly deserving of mockery. Truly, the server shouldn’t have done it, but…c’mon.

  • Invidosa

    What kind of weasel fuck smeghead whines about the fucking “authenticity” of a gorram bowl of motherfucling rice for fucks sake??!? And what the fuck? They couldnt just ask about it? I mean, did the really have to be a bunch of smug as shit ass cracks and try to “educate” the server on the “correct” way to serve fucking RICE!!

    Hipsters are a fucking plague upon our nation! I am ashamed to admit I have one in my actual family. I demand to know what action the presidential candidates are going to take to stem the tide of hipsters that are making America not great. And I want to know how we are going to keep them out of women’s restrooms, the same restrooms your wives and daughters use!

    • Dixie Flatline

      Red Dwarf fan eh? :D Class.

      • Invidosa

        Cheers!

  • Jason M

    I used to work at a Chinese delivery joint in Vegas, and before each shift began, it was customary for all the staff to eat a meal together, so there’d be no lunch breaks or anything (every Asian place I’ve worked subsequently did the same thing). Anyways, I was dumbfounded when I saw how the Chinese workers wouldn’t peel their shrimp, they just popped the whole sucker in their mouths and discreetly spat out the peel. Every time my wife and I eat shrimp, I tell her that story, and then she reminds me that every time we eat shrimp I tell her that story. One new custom begets another!

    • Laura Ingalls Wildest

      This is what my husband and I call a “we won’t be in Indiana for long” story.

    • SixFlaggot

      Forced to sit with my coworkers for a meal, and no lunch break? Sounds like my version of hell. (I’m the weird guy who takes his lunch in his car to get away from everyone)

      • Jason M

        Sure, but free Chinese food when you’re a stoned delivery dude is always welcome, as well.

  • greenpatches

    I mean in the first place, Americanized Chinese food isn’t “the way it’s done in China.” Complaining about the authenticity of the bowl size when the entire meal is probably largely unrecognizable to the vast majority of native Chinese people is just asinine in the first place. For fuck’s sake, the rice itself was probably the most authentic part. And what did they get to drink? Authentic Chinese coke or pepsi?

  • harryeagar

    And the Post wrote about this? I wouldn’t have used this story when I was editing the country correspondence for the Raleigh Times in 1966. Sheesh

  • Laura Ingalls Wildest

    I agree, don’t do it. I’ve had 2 servers “call people names” on receipts under the impression that only the kitchen saw it. Fortunately, the customers actually didn’t notice.

  • SixFlaggot

    A few years ago (and about 115 lbs. heavier), I was at a busy bar one night. When it was time to settle the tab and my bill came, the bartender had identified me as “Fat Guy Striped Green Shirt.” My friends said I should complain and try to get it comped…but I was the fat guy in the striped green shirt, and my bill was completely correct, so what do I care? Perhaps he should have used a better descriptor, if only because someone else would have been pissed off, but I didn’t care.

    • Jim Peale

      Class, my man!

Previous articleDonald Trump Has Had Just About Enough Of Hillary Clinton Raping All These Women!
Next articleCliven Bundy Lawsuit Against Obama Demands $50 Million, Get Out Of Jail Free Card, And A Pony