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You've seen one hijab, you've seen 'em all
You’ve seen one hijab, you’ve seen ’em all

Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet,* has once again made an ass of himself by believing some stupid bullshit from the internet, then writing his own stupid bullshit about it. As you’ve probably heard, over the weekend London elected its very first Muslim mayor, Sadiq Khan, who will be barred from visiting the United States of America if Donald Trump is elected president. As Wonkette pal Charles Johnson details at Little Green Footballs, Hoft was very excited to see a Gotcha! tweet from Tommy Robinson, co-founder of the neo-fascist English Defence League, purporting to prove that the slippery Muzzie Mayor had pulled a fast one on London voters by having his wife Saadiya wear western clothes before the election, then promptly forcing her back into a hijab as soon as he was sworn in. Hoft was VERY EXCITED by this inescapable proof of Muslim duplicity:

hoft london article

Here’s Muslim politician Sadiq Khan with his wife before the London mayoral election.

Sadiq disputed claims that he was linked to radical Islamists during the campaign.

And here is Sadiq and his wife after the election.

Now that the votes are counted Mrs. Khan gets back in her hijab.

Just look at how the clever aliens fooled the gullible dhimmis! No wonder we’re losing against ISIS! Hoft’s commenters agreed; it’s exactly like how that Barack HUSSEIN Obama acted like an American when he was really a half-breed Muslin.

Those “links to radical Islamists” haven’t only been disputed by Khan; they’ve also been found lacking by real journalists.

Oh, and that shocking photo of Mrs. Khan suddenly forced back into a hijab after the election? Funny thing: It’s not Saadiya Khan at all. It’s Sarah Joseph, a Labour Party campaigner and media CEO who converted to Islam and does wear a hijab. She wasn’t amused, at first.

sarah joseph tweet 1

Tommy Robinson, the EDL moran, deleted his tweet, which would explain why there’s no copy of it on Hoft’s page there. Joseph decided being caught up in some bigots’ epic moment of stupid does have its funny side:

sarah joseph tweet 2

Yes, but can we be sure she didn’t go with them into a bar afterward?

It took Hoft nearly a full day to catch on that he looked like an idiot and delete the article entirely, without a word of apology or correction.

hoft london deleted

Happily, screenshots are forever. Maybe someday Mr. Hoft will make it to London, where he can meet the mayor and be introduced as “The Stupidest Git on the Internet.”

* We tried transferring the title to Chuck C. Johnson, who is also extremely stupid, but it simply fits Hoft better. You can’t fight Google. It’s like trying to call a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter anything other than “Santorum.”

[LGF / Gateway Pundit (404’d) / Metro UK / Guardian]

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  • Nounverb911

    Has President Trump banned him from entering the US yet?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      “If Donald Trump becomes the president I’ll be stopped from going there by virtue of my faith” – Sadiq Khan

  • Spotts1701

    Weren’t there enough stupid things for Jim Hoft to say here? Why did he have to go global?

  • Anarchy Pony

    And he will now declare himself Sultan and unilaterally declare sharia law and all of London will simply acquiesce and comply!

  • MsAnthropesMr

    We must do something about Ms. Khan’s sunglasses, however.

    • Jay Vaughn

      I feel fucking trifling thinking that.

  • Spotts1701

    Though, has SMOTI weighed in on this yet? Because I’m sure it’s the kid’s fault somehow in his addled mind.

  • beavertank

    We keep trying to give the title away, but Hoft keeps stealing it back.

    Damnit, Jimmy, that’s not a title you want.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Oh yeah? Well now that he’s mayor, he might legalize polygamy and marry that Sarah Joseph lady also too.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Tommy Robinson, Jim Hoft, Chuck Johnson, who can tell ignorant racist right wing fuckers apart anyway? All those assholes look the same.

  • Nounverb911

    “Molotov”
    –Scott Walker

  • JohnBull

    Trump will ban him from the US.
    Does that mean the British government will ban all Americans who voted for Trump? Please? And can the rest of the planet do the same?

    • SDGeoff

      They will need to in order to protect their cultures.

      • Nounverb911
        • FauxAntocles

          Haven’t seen anything yet that says this idjit is American…

          • malsperanza

            Being a dumbass is an international skill.

            Last year a Japanese woman was charged by police after she wrote her name and date on the dome of the Florence Cathedral. A month before that incident two women from California were arrested for carving their initials into the Colosseum in Rome. After carving the eight-inch-high letters, the women posed for a selfie. A Russian tourist who did something similar the year before was hit with a €20,000 fine.

            In 2013 an American tourist accidentally snapped the finger off a 600-year-old statue of the Virgin Mary at the Museo dell’Opera del Duomo in Florence.

            And then there’s the Taiwanese kid who tripped and punched a hole in a painting, while carrying a soda. In a museum.

            In 2014 a student broke a 19th-century cast of an ancient Greek work at Milan’s Brera when he tried to hop in its lap for a photograph. But he was local.

            Rioting Dutch football fans recently damaged Bernini’s Fontana della Barcaccia in Rome.

            In her youth, Malsperanza once drunkenly climbed a Giambologna equestrian statue in Florence in the middle of the night. No damage was done, but she has always regretted it.

          • xy

            well the sports rioters are forgivable because sport is way more important than art

            signed,
            America

    • MsAnthropesMr

      You’d have to want to travel outside the US for that to be effective.

      • beavertank

        When Clinton wins they all plan to escape to Canada to get away from the filthy socialism.

        …they’re really not very bright.

        • TheGayAgenda

          When I was in the states on a trip recently, I explained to a conservative moran that actually, we’re a lot more liberal than ‘Murica. Lots of cursing. Not sure he believed me.

    • malsperanza

      They’re close to banning Turnip himself, after the whole Scotland nightmare.

  • cousin itt

    “KHAAAANNNNNN!”

    –Stupidest Man On The Internets

  • anwisok

    Hmmmm . . . would it be inappropriate to note that he is also too a not unpleasant looking politician who would likely not get kicked out of bed for the eating of the proverbial crackers? Yes? Too late!

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Remember what happened when there was all that slobberin’ over the Icelandic Mayor. I’ll never forget the Icelandic culture wars here. Most brought us to our knees it did.

      • SDGeoff

        And some of us are still there. Hoping.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Apropos of nothing, I saw a “Thank you for a funky time” placard in a window with the Prince symbol, which put “Darling Nikki” in my head. I’d never noticed before that the line “met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine” is pretty ambiguous as to which one of them was having a go at it. Am I the only one to miss this for thirty-odd years?

    • FauxAntocles

      Now that you mention it, I always thought it was her but you’re right, it is ambiguous.

    • Belasaurius

      i assumed it was her, but whether she was using it for inspiration or as a sex tool, I…… this is where the papercut jokes go, people

      • FauxAntocles

        And staples, yikes!

    • nmmagyar

      As a former teen aged boy I have no idea how a dude would spank it with a magazine, and always assumed it was Nikki spanking with a magazine that was still in the plastic wrapper

    • Lascauxcaveman

      “masturbating with a magazine” is pretty ambiguous

      Another ambiguous possibility was Nikki was *looking* at pics in the magazine, while rubbing one out. Often heard of in days before the internet.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Pretty sure it isn’t the hotel lobby masturbating.

  • JustPixelz

    Wait’ll you see what he says about Hillary’s wife Huma.

    • SDGeoff

      The “closet aide”, as on Fox?

  • Vecciojohn LLC
    • cousin itt

      Are we going to have to invade the UK now?

      • Nounverb911

        We’ll just send over more tourists:

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Better to fight them over there than over here.

  • cousin itt

    I Kahn even see him as Prime Minister someday.

  • witsended

    If I point out one little fact promise you won’t be mad. Tommy Robinson, has not been a part of the EDL for about three years. He has lately tried to set up Pegida UK, an offshot of the German Pegida movement.

    You know how members of far right political groups make a point of insisting how they’re definitely not racist?

    Well Tommy Robinson, previously of the English Defence League and now of Germany’s Pegida, has just scored a particularly excruitiating own goal.

    http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/pegidas-tommy-robinson-just-mixed-up-sadiq-khans-wife-with-a-totally-different-woman–byli3ETtIfZ

    • AnOuthouse

      splitter.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    #PAYTHEFUCKUP!

    • SeeTrain65

      Never gets old. Never gets paid, either.

  • schmannity

    My picture after Trump’s election:

  • Hutch

    Has Jim Hoft seen Bill Hader since his conversion?!? —

    • Msmlg1979

      Sandy Passage was hilarious! My best friend is obsessed with Grey Gardens, and when I showed him Sandy Passage, he laughed until he cried.

      • Hutch

        It is amazing! I’ve seen it three times and laugh hard even though I know what the jokes are.

        • Msmlg1979

          Pitter Patter…Pitter Patter…

  • DerrickWildcat

    What happened to, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson?

  • schmannity

    Wait until Trump goes to London and faces the Wrath of Khan.

  • JustPixelz

    When I see a woman in a hijab here in America, I think she must love this country a lot to put up with the shit people must give her.

    • Land Shark

      Thinking of this, I wonder why more American tourists in NY aren’t berated. That kind of bigotry doesn’t disappear when they cross the Hudson into Manhattan. The number of women wearing hijabs is pretty significant here. Maybe they’re just afraid of NY?

      • Hutch

        Shortly after 9/11, I was in NYC near ground zero and watched as three guys yelled at and then chased (a little ways) a lone hijab-wearing woman. None of us did anything, but everyone was already really shaken up. I sure wish I had done something to help.

        • Land Shark

          Back then, everyone was afraid.

          Today? Not so much.

        • Suttree

          At that point if you had said anything you probably would have been beaten to death by those men. And also, too I’m sick and fucking tired of seeing a couple of sets of guys in camo when I get on and off the PATH.

          • malsperanza

            I don’t mind, as long as they are actual armed forces; the assholes who just like to dress up in camo are another story.

            Not sure they do much good, but the Pentagon was caught with its pants down on 9/11 (no air cover closer than 20 minutes away, in fucking Massachusetts) and transit hubs get a huge number of threats, so they kind of have to keep the patrols. At least it gives the enlisted kids something to do that’s off the base.

          • Suttree

            I agree with you in part, but I’m not a big fan of people with M-4s (or whatever the hell they are carrying). Isn’t this a job the transit police could be doing? Or regular NYC cops? For the most part they are pretty cool, but I have been harassed and searched (I was actually sober that day!) and I have seen a lot of brown people harassed. I would like to know the training that these guys are given. A standard street cop (I would like to think) knows his area, where do these camo guys come from?

          • malsperanza

            NY State National Guard and Air National Guard, a thing called Joint Task Force Empire Shield. In other words, Security Theater.

            I agree with you: military patrols are out of place in civilian society, and they are definitely not supposed to be interacting at all with the public, much less harassing people. If you see that happening or if it happens to you, you should report it. As far as I know, they have little or no specialized training and in fact are getting training by being in the train and bus stations.

            But NYC remains in the crosshairs of actual badguys, including the domestic variety. I think the main purpose of armed soldiers, aside from theatrics, is as a deterrent. The actual surveillance and operations are done by people in plain clothes. And there is a shit-ton of it, which I can’t really be sorry about.

          • Suttree

            I again agree with you in part. I am also not a legal scholar, but I fail to see how this doesn’t violate posse comitatus https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posse_Comitatus_Act. According to a super quick google search (which IIRC sounds a little low) there are 34,000+ NYC cops. Why aren’t they being stationed at the WTC?

          • malsperanza

            Not an expert on posse com, but my guess is that as long as the threat level remains at orange or purple or whatever it is the National Guard can be called in. It was W (or his crew) who came up with the idea of a permanent War on Terror and a permanent Threat Level. Since these are NY state troops I imagine they would be gone the minute Cuomo wanted them gone. But Cuomo is an opportunistic dick.

          • Jukesgrrl

            I thought the people who play at dressing up in camo lived where I am, near the border with Mexico. We have tons of fake Border Patrol agents here, playing at protecting the border. You can’t mess with them though given they are armed far more extravagantly than real BP agents.

          • malsperanza

            Yeah, those assholes are not only sick, but also put the real soldiers in danger. Fuck them.

            But we were talking about a specific thing in New York City: since 9/11 soldiers in camo with automatic weapons have been patrolling the bus and train stations. It’s creepy and unpleasant, and the question is whether it’s legal.

        • malsperanza

          If it makes you feel any better, I think a more typical story is that of neighbors keeping an eye out for harassment.

          in my neighborhood there was an Afghan kebab house, a Palestinian falafel place, and a Turkish bistro. I would stop by once in a while and ask if everything was ok, if they were being harassed. The owners all said no, but they were getting a little tired of reassuring us all the time that they were ok.

          This was because there had been some nasty attacks on Muslims in other cities, and then the Afghan war started, and everyone was on edge.

      • Suttree

        My first thought when I’m on the subway and see a woman in a hajib is generally, wow she is so pretty. I still can’t figure out why the inbreds in Pigfuck, Arkansas think that they are the only REAL Americans, and bitch about 9/11 constantly when they are the least likely to be affected by a terrorist attack.

      • malsperanza

        I don’t see or hear about a lot of harassment of women in hijab in Manhattan or of course Atlantic Ave and other Arab neighborhoods. More likely in airports and Texas — two places where it is no fun to look unpink.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I think, I might be able to follow this person and find some decent food. Particularly, Shwarma. But I’m shallow that way.

      • Land Shark

        Mmmm …. shwarma …

        http://falafellasnyc.com/

        • malsperanza

          That place is pretty epic. But I am also fond of my local truck which serves some kind of terrifying meatlike stuff shaved off one of those gyrating lumps, and it tastes frigging brilliant.

      • jqheywood

        Great. Thanks a lot. Now I’m hungry and can think of nothing but shwarma. #$&@^#$ Diet….

        • jqheywood

          And really good pita bread made fresh. Sigh.

          • CJTX

            The first time I saw a pita bread, I asked the person who handed it to me why that tortilla looked so weird.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I remember how reluctant I was to try a bite of my girlfriend’s gyro; the first time I saw one. Life has a learning curve.

          • CJTX

            And gyros are great!

          • Suttree

            I had my first gyro from a street cart in Manhattan when I was about 8 years old. Nothing has ever tasted as good as that first one.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Done right, they are simply hard to beat.

          • Suttree

            OMG! That’s hilarious!

          • Skadi

            I asked, “Is that lefse?”

            Dad: “No, it’s pita bread. You eat it with hummus.”

            Me: “Ewww….”

          • CJTX

            That’s another one I don’t get – hummus. People rave about it – but it tastes as gritty as sand to me (and no, that’s not a middle east joke). Maybe I’ve just had cheap hummus.

          • malsperanza

            The trick is to load it up with lemon and garlic and olives and everything else you can think of so you don’t really notice that it is pureed boiled chickpeas. Even better: stick to the baba ganouj.

          • WhyFelicia

            Actually, if it’s gritty, it’s been made with the chickpea skin still on. It needs to be removed to get truly creamy hummus.

          • CJTX

            Ahhhh – I’ve never had like traditional stuff, but I’ll have to look for what I can find the next time I’m food shopping. Thanks for the tip! I love me some good food.

          • Christopher Smith

            It’s wonderful, but you need to make it correctly. You can use canned organic chickpeas (*MUCH* easier than cooking and peeling them)….and don’t ruin it with a ton of garlic (especially not raw!) if you use garlic in your hummus, saute it before adding. Also, you need real tahini.

          • ContextIsKey

            I knew a guy who mistook wasabi for guacamole. Ignorance of foreign cultures really can hurt you.

    • jmhm

      I used to think “That’s right, I live in Queens.” Now I think “Hey, it’s just like Queens here.”

    • Bill Slider

      It’s a man just trying to sneak into the ladies’ bathroom.

      • Michelle Gambrel

        “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!ce453etwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !ce453e:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsManagementGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!ce453e….,

    • richardgrabman

      Now they know what Catholic nuns, and Amish women have to put up with, just because they chose to wear some kind of head covering.

    • cynmac

      Black women have started wearing the head wraps again. Best thing for bad hair days.

  • witsended

    The jokes about him from the Asian community have already started.
    But thanks Sadiq Khan. As if becoming a doctor or engineer wasn’t hard enough, Asian parents will now be like ‘LOOK AT HIM. HE’S MAYOR’

  • MrBlobfish

    That’s not the Tom Robinson I like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGrnEc_3mYo

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Who was that woman I saw you with last night, Sadiq?

  • witsended

    Not sure if you folks have seen this series.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3rnOyWlFZE

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Exqueeze me, but isn’t a hijab sort of de riguere in the Mosque? You know, like those funny beanies THE JOOZE wear in Synagogue? Or the head coverings women are rather expected to wear at that big church in Rome? Oh, wait…Catholic, so not Christian. My bad…

    • Hutch

      You must remember these incredibly becoming head doilies. Sometime in the late sixties, Catholic women in the U.S. collectively said, “NO!”

      • proudgrampa

        I, for one, thought the head doilies were rather stylish.

      • cynmac

        Madillas. “High church” Episcopals wimmens wore them, also too in the sixties. But seventies, they were gone.

        • Hutch

          Weren’t they called “mantillas,” after the Spanish lace scarves? I didn’t know the Episcopalians wore them, too. They were horrid!

          • cynmac

            Southerner here. That’s how my gramma pronounced it.

          • Jukesgrrl

            Yes. Jackie Kennedy popularized mantillas in the 1960s constantly wearing them to church because she was supposed to have her head covered and, like her husband, she was not a fan of hats.

            I don’t know where those lace doilies came from … I remember them though. Catholic women pretty much dropped the head-covering requirement after Pope John XXIII’s Vatican II conference allowed the Mass in English and other innovations. It did not actually become official Canon until 1983 when it was simply dropped from the previous 1917 Canon. In many Orthodox Christian faiths (Greek, Russian, etc.), women are still supposed to wear skirts and have their heads covered.

          • WhyFelicia

            Jackie didn’t like hats?! That’s news to me.

    • jmhm

      Seriously. My cousin’s wife had to buy a shawl so they could get her bare arms into the Sistine Chapel on their honeymoon.

      • Hutch

        Arms. Veritable sexpots they are.

      • The religionists wouldn’t let me inside The Temple Mount, nor Mary’s Grotto, with shorts on and it was 102 degrees in Jerusalem that day.

        Apparently God has no sympathy for trying to find comfort in a hot environment.

      • malsperanza

        In the summer they cave, and hand out large black plastic ponchos to the tourists in shorts and tank tops, who walk around the Vatican looking like 30 gallon trash bags. This is for people who think they want to see great art. Or at least want to be able to say they saw it.

  • Scooby

    Now if it was a burka nobody would have cought the mistake.

  • CJTX

    True Story – About 5 years ago, a Muslim couple moved in across and down from me at my old apartment complex…I had never actually lived near a Muslim couple or met one before. She wore the long dress and head covering and they seemed pretty conservative, but I never had a chance to talk to them. I was out on my front porch one day when the wife opened the front door for some reason (looking to see if hubby was home or checking on a noise)…she was in short shorts and a T-shirt, no head covering. I guess she only wore the full covering out in public, but dressed like most other Americans behind closed doors. For some reason I thought that was awesome.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Victoria’s Secret.

    • MrBlobfish

      It is only for when out in public. Us menfolk can’t control ourselves seeing some sexy ankle or elbow.

  • Mpeg

    See, advertisers should take note. If the gossipy headline in my sidebar read “The World Was Not Ready.. For The Hijab She Wore” then hellz yeah I would’ve clicked on it!!

    • MsAnthropesMr

      It was an itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot hijabi, that she wore for the first time, today.

      • Querolous

        yellow polka dot hijab

    • MrBlobfish

      The Photographer Was Not Expecting This!

    • WhyFelicia

      Awkward Hijab Photos That… Um, Just Look.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the scrolling banner on Fox News is going to say, “entire city of London declared Muslim no go zone!”

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Well, he sure seems like a terrible guy.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadiq_Khan

    • beavertank

      Heh. He was the MP from Tooting.

      …why has this not already been turned into a million fart jokes?

      • The Wanderer

        Let the million fart jokes bloom! But open a window first.

      • natoslug

        I’m amazed they haven’t reversed his first and last name and started the gay smears yet. Maybe it’s because they’d need to at least have the intellect of a 12 year old.

      • MrBlobfish

        Yeah, but it’s probably pronounce Fartham.

        • sw19womble
          • MrBlobfish

            Which is probably pronounced Cheesebury.

          • sw19womble

            Chipping Sodbury Libels!!!!!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            You’re pretty close, actually. It’s pronounced Throatwarbler-Mangrove.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            You’re thinking of Greeb-Streebling. The “T” is

            silent, as in “fox.”

          • MrBlobfish

            Wait. I just got it. I think. Felt him?

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Maybe President Fart will do it.

  • Lady Bug

    take beer!!

  • TimJ

    The stupidest man in podcasting, Rick Wiles, went waaaay beyond the SMOTI. Wiles said the US must cut diplomatic ties with Great Britain because London elected a Mooslim. Btw, check out his GREAT CHRISTIAN WHATEVER website called Prazor.com (get it?) that hosts 46!! channels of Christian music, plus a bunch of other stupid Rick Wiles crap.

  • Lady Bug

    Isa on a falafal those two women don’t even look alike.

    • beavertank

      That was my first response, too. Apparently not only is Hoft the stupidest man on the internet, the stupidest people on the internet all read his site.

      • calliecallie

        All those wimmenz look the same, especially if you can’t see their boobz.

    • Shibusa

      Poor Jim Hoft only saw a veiled threat.

  • AnOuthouse

    He forced the priest and rabbi to wear dresses too! Will the evil never end?

  • Doug White

    I say give Johnson the ‘stupidest man’ nickname… and then we can start calling Hoft “Sad Dick” Jim Hoft in honor of this tiny little mistake….

    • natoslug

      Charles “Chuck the floorshitter” Johnson, “Jernalist” already has an adequate nickname and title. Hoft can continue wearing his nom de derp with pride.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    He was the Member for Tooting. How can anyone be afraid of the Member for Tooting?

    • The Wanderer

      Use Beano.

    • Roadstergal

      If your Member is Tooting, consult a doctor.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Two tutors who tutored to toot,
      Taught two Members for Tooting to toot.
      Said the two to the tutor,
      It is harder to toot,
      Or to toot on two Members from Toot,
      Ing?

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Yer damn tootin’!

  • MrBlobfish

    Radical Islamic Mayorism

  • Flashman

    Will he change his title from “Lord” Mayor to “Caliph” Mayor?

    Actually, I would bet that if anti-Muslim bigotry kept right-wing Americans out of London, most Londoners would be fine with it.

  • SnarkOff

    To be fair, they all look alike.

  • TheBidenator

    The difference between Chuck C. Johnson and SMOTI is Hoft is the trusting dullard who buys the black money scam whereas Chuck C. Johnson is the malignant tumor selling the scam.

    • SnarkOff

      Also, Chuck has the Hot Asian Wife ™

      • MrBlobfish

        Of course he does.

        • Suttree

          He met her in Canada, at band camp.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Hoft isn’t so stupid. He just thinks “mayor” is an alternate spelling of the term for a female horse and is concerned about beastiality. He’s protecting his people, folks, as long as no one objects to his fucking sheep of his own religious persuasion.

    • Spotts1701

      Are you saying Khan was a dark horse candidate?

  • TheBidenator

    I’m glad ya’ll gave Hoft his SMOTI back- he’s just a classic right wing nincompoop continuously smashing himself in the face by stepping on rakes because he likes the color. Chuck C. Johnson is a creep of the highest order.

    • harryeagar

      Is this the first time SMOTI has ever taken down a completely bogus post? He usually just keeps them up.

      Possibly I underestimated him and he is really educably mentally retarded and not just a vegetable with arms and legs.

      • doktorzoom

        He’s removed them before. The absolute best was the time he left the entire original wrong post in place and added an update saying only “UPDATE: Apparently this story is not quite accurate.”

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Punditry at its best.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Saadiya, Sarah, it’s a natural mistake. It’s their fault for not wearing nametags.

  • Mavenmaven

    Her not wearing a hijab is a false flag!

    • Msgr_Moment

      She’s just letting her false freak flag fly!

  • Chris Hall

    Londoner here, I had a visit from the representatives of Sadiq’s opponent Zac Goldsmith who, for some reason, wanted to speak to me and not my wife. Not that it really mattered as my wife gave him a right earful anyway.

    My wife is Indian and had had a “personal” letter from out dear PM Dave telling her how the evil Muslim Sadiq was a Muslim and the good Hindu citizens of London (who should, of course, be fully integrated) should be very worried. It was an utter fuckup of a political campaign and I actually changed my vote (admittedly from “meh”) because of how much my wife was upset by the racial profiling.

    And Tommy Robinson is a dick, 99.99% of Muslims in this country have spent less time in prisons than he has.

    • sw19womble

      Fuck Zac Goldsmith. Ran a disgusting smear campaign against Khan, trying to make out he had “connections” with terrorists, instead of concentrating on the more salient fact that Sadiq is a flip-flopping bellend.
      I don’t know whose idea it was to go that dirty, but it sure blew up in his smug face.
      Fuck the EDL too. Latest in a long line of “patriotic” groups taken over by the National Front/BNP.
      Sorry, replying to you, but you know this already. Just spreading some info to our fellow Wonkers. :)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        We enjoy close to the source info from across the pond, back in the old country :D

    • cynmac

      Not surprised.

    • malsperanza

      How adorbs of the Tories to incite race hatred between “good” Hindus and “bad” Muslims. Because there’s not enough of that in the world already. Fuck those guys sideways with a lit menorah.

  • Duke

    I’m trying to figure out if there’s a beer with a frothy mixture of fecal matter and lube. So Hoft can drink it.

    • Ewwww. But if there is, it would be low-carb and be called Santorum Ultra.

      • Beowoof14

        I really thought that would be more of a tossed salad dressing.

        • The Wanderer

          And a floor polish?

  • Sadiq Khan be the mayor of my little town any time.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I’d roll a fatwah with him any day.

  • whitroth

    Ah, but what about *Hoft’s* ties to radicals… specifically, literally, fascists?

    mark

  • Msgr_Moment

    it’s exactly like how that Barack HUSSEIN Obama acted like an American when he was really a half-breed Muslin.

    Isis what you did there.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Ain’t no pullin’ the muslin over your eyes.

    • xy

      he’s a really nice muslin/polyester blend. soft AND durable.

  • Suttree

    I was wondering about the misattribution of SMOTI and wondered how I missed the memo. I guess I should sign up for the newsletter.

    • doktorzoom

      It was more of a gradual recognition that whatever we call Chuck C Johnson, there is only one true SMOTI. He’s not the Doctor, after all.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    It’s bad enough these clowns rant and rave over here and make brain fart noise from their mouth about Mooselum Tearorrrists, but it’s a fucking national disgrace when they start running around with their hair on fire and their panties in a knot about an election in London. That’s why when I am over there and people ask if I am an American I always so, “No, I’m from California.” Then they at least give me a forgiving smile.

    • cynmac

      Happened also too when the folks in Paris were all shot up. Lost some friends over Je Suis Charlie.

      • Jukesgrrl

        So sorry that happened to you.

  • Shibusa

    The kids are going to miss Boris Johnson.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xDazgkTMedOX8A/giphy.gif

    • cousin itt

      Sober Rob Ford?

      • CJTX

        Nothing about that gif screams sober.

        • Roadstergal

          I can never tell if Boris was always drunk, or if his sober is other people’s drunk.

          • sw19womble

            He plays the oaf very well, but it’s to hide the fact that he’s extremely cunning. People underestimate him because of his public persona.

          • Skadi

            On the other hand, to quote the man himself: “You can’t rule out the possibility that beneath the carefully constructed veneer of a blithering idiot there lurks a blithering idiot.”

          • CJTX

            You forced me to do this! I really didn’t want to…

      • Objectifer

        Slightly less trashed anyway.

    • sw19womble

      I’m not. Fuck that wanker.

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Boris was never Godunov.

      • Doug Langley

        Oh, may dear sweet Lard. Trump has a TWIN????????

      • malsperanza

        Second runner-up in the Donald Turnip Lookalike Contest.

      • Sarah Balfour

        Remember that pic of him on the zip wire before the Olympics…? I was SO willing his harnessto fail and the wire to garrotte his stupid, smug, ugly, privileged neck! My parents are Tories. They STILL vote Tory even though I’m disabled. If I’d not been put in the support group, I’d be right, royally fucked now, because I couldn’t have fought IDS and his minions.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      … zzzzz… Huh? …. Oh …. Something about the morals of a whore, and the manners of a dancing master…. zzzzzzzzzzzz

  • cousin itt

    What’s next, a Muslim American president?

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Or a damned female!

      • cousin itt

        Both, if Huma has her way.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Lesbian Muslim Kenyan Usurper Socialst Killers or gtfo

          • whitroth

            Socialist!

            mark

      • Frank Underboob

        Or a dirty atheist!11!1!!1!

        • dshwa

          We already had at least one (Jefferson) and possibly two or more (Monroe, Madison) of those.

          • Frank Underboob

            And how long ago was the last one?

  • baconzgood

    A Muslim mayor? Next they think Jews will be treated as people? Then Irish Catholics and Italians will take our jobs. With mexicans…. BUILD THE WALL. It’s hard for Baconz to be a bigot.

    (Baconz is trying to get Comment of the week or Shit For Brain help me out Wonkers… racism/ sexism and snark seem are hard for Baconzgood)

    Sad emoticon.

    But at least Iceland still likes me…..

    • cynmac

      Baconz seems a little desperate and attention seeking. Makes me a little sad for him. Upfist of pity.

      • baconzgood

        I am… desperate for attention lately …. being a recluse is tiring lately.

        • Jukesgrrl

          You were just at Kennywood. How is that reclusive, dude? Don’t try to tell us you didn’t cry and hug your seatmate when you rode Phantom’s Revenge.

    • phoenix00

      I want Iceland to like me too!!

      • WeaselPoo

        I(celand. Iceland!!! The subject of my most upfisted comment ever. That wasn’t a comment, and didn’t even win me a runner up Comment of the Week. Thanks for re-opening that old wound. Damn you!. Damn you all to heck!

    • MediumBarda

      It’s important to have goals.

  • Last Hussar

    It’s almost 9pm on Khan’s first day, and he hasn’t blown up Tower Bridge yet. Typical leftie shirking.

    • sw19womble

      All the fast food joints are still selling non-halal meat too.

      What a do-nothing tyrant!

      • cousin itt

        Why does Khan hate London?

        • sw19womble

          The Tories’ key job now is to make him a one-term mayor.

      • Seriously: my only real issue with Khan is that he’s trying to stop AFCW moving back to Plough Lane.

        • The Witch of Endor

          I had to google AFCW. We’re talking about Football? If so, did Khan make it part of his political platform? Being from the US I know I shouldn’t even give the appearance of throwing stones, but seriously, that’s weird.

          • malsperanza

            Except for London, the UK is actually a pretty small country.

            (Tune in to Question Time sometime, and then switch to one of those BBC gardening shows. They sound almost identical. There’ll always be an England.)

          • WeaselPoo

            “Except for London, the UK is actually a pretty small country.”

            That’s funny, I’ll remember that.

            When I was on holiday in Beirut in the mid 70’s (sun, sand, bullets, the PLO, Syrian tanks and Israeli jets–good times) I was asked where I was from. “Britain”, I’d say, trying to keep things simple.
            “Is that anywhere near London?” was the usual response.

          • MediumBarda

            Is England bigger on the inside?

      • Last Hussar

        Has the Archbishop of Canterbury been put up against the wall yet?

    • The Wanderer

      He did; they replaced it with a life-sized photograph.

  • YayConspiracy

    They all look the same.

  • Oneofthebobs

    I like the before and after pictures of his stupid article better.

  • Clean Leon

    What is a “moran”?

    • sw19womble

      Somebody who doesn’t believe in Libety

      • Clean Leon

        :) The comments section is better than the bloggers.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          the comment section doesn’t really exist. But if it did, it would be the parmesean on the pizza of yr Wonkette.

          • Meccalopolis

            I came for the comments originally. Articles are uniformly good now

        • doktorzoom

          Hey! As a blogger, I resent that. As a commenter, I have to say you’re absolutely right.

        • Frank Underboob

          You’re mistaken; comments aren’t allowed here.

        • JustDon’tSayDittos

          We do have fun here. Don’t get a lot of work done, but wattayagonnado?

        • MediumBarda

          The comments section is the only place we can shine, because we’re sad weirdos in real life.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Let’s not be A Idiot about this.

        • Skadi

          Old Peanuts strip:

          SALLY (writing letter): “Dear Sir, you are a nidiot!”
          CHARLIE BROWN: “‘Nidiot’???”
          SALLY: “You are also an ucklehead!” There, that’ll show him!
          CHARLIE BROWN: He’ll be so impressed, he’ll change his ways immediately…

      • thenearesthippie

        But supports Tranny.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Eats cedar cheese and doesn’t know “how babby is made.”

          • Zyxomma

            … and those cakes we like, as they say in the Shire.

          • mailman27

            Sharp, with a splintery mouthfeel.

          • MediumBarda

            Or who is phone.

          • Jukesgrrl

            I don’t know that one … do tell.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Obligatory illustration

      • CJTX

        We really need to get on that Wonkette style guide…

    • Doug Langley
  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The Stupides Man On the Internet, Jim Hoft, found undeniable proof of Muslim treachery. Pity Naturally it was 100% fake.

    FIFY

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    It’s only fair that Khan will be barred from visiting the United States, given that London will be a no-go zone.

  • Treg.Brown

    Sarah Joseph. My crush for the week.

  • Juan de Fuca

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Wingnuts overreact and are caught being stupid! News at 11 and 10 and 5 and 6 and 7:45 and….

  • btwbfdimho

    Obama went to Saudi Arabia, then flew to England; a week later London has a Muslim Mayor…
    Finicum, Scalia, Nancy Reagan, Prince… A Saudi Prince? What’s next, big sky??
    A Trump Resort at the Mekka?

    • malsperanza

      One thing Turnip and the Saudis have in common is their taste in architecture. Lots of gold and mirrors, and let’s tear down everything old or historic. So they have a baseline to start from.

      I feel sure that once President Turnip is in the White House, he will decide very quickly that the House of Saud are Yooge, and Honorable, and Wonderful People.

      • Jukesgrrl

        And the White House is old, too small, and not gold enough. Call in the wrecking ball.

  • chascates

    Screwloose still has many other craptastic articles on his site:

    #CrookedHillary Clinton Has Raised Millions FROM WALL STREET DONORS

    Self Flagellating Whites Repent With Reparation Promises

    Man Asks People Not To Vote For Hillary Clinton IN HIS OBITUARY

    Bernie Sanders Says Liberals Need Their Own FOX NEWS WHILE ON MSNBC (VIDEO)

    Nancy Pelosi Plotting With Mexican President Fox TO STOP DONALD TRUMP

    MEATHEAD Rob Reiner Calls Trump Supporters RACISTS! (VIDEO)

    • Lady Willpower

      The man they call “Mexican President Fox” hasn’t held that office since 2006. He’s just regular guy Vicente Gox now.

      Googling is hard.

      • Serai 1

        They’re probably thinking about it in American terms, where once a person is president, they’re called that for the rest of their lives.

        • Lady Willpower

          I’m chalking it up to lack of research.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    He won’t be able to afford a trip to London after he #paysthefuckup

  • Jukesgrrl

    Sadiq Khan might be Lord Mayor of London, but he’s a Liverpool fan, so no matter what happens to his popularity or his political career, he’ll never walk alone.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCJ5uBA3DU4

    • Last Hussar

      He’s not Lord Mayor, that’s a completely different person

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Americans get confused about those things. Especially ones from Chicago, which has a history of conflating the two offices something fierce.

        • Mimihaha

          Wait what? Chicagoan here. We only have Rahm, or as I like to call him , Tiny Dancer.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I’ve always thought that Khan was amazing but damn dude…protect that chin.

        https://media.giphy.com/media/wPeFhsgUXwBfq/giphy.gif

      • Jukesgrrl

        You’re right. The Lord Mayor is a ceremonial position. Khan is a real and successful politician who will now be in charge of London’s budget, one of the world’s biggest. I know better … I’m the one who’s always correcting people when they call Elizabeth II the “Queen Mother.”

    • WeaselPoo

      Best footie team official song ever. If I remember rightly , 14x league champions when I was growing up,

      • Pickwicknext

        Ummm…which team uses “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”? THAT’S the best team song ever

        • Jukesgrrl

          Always Look has been adopted by almost every British FC as a tune to sing when they lose a game. Python’s Idle wrote special football lyrics for it to be sung when London hosted the Olympics. But Always Look is a relatively new song compared to Liverpool’s theme. You’ll Never Walk Alone has been popular in England since it was first written by Rodgers and Hammerstein for the musical Carousel in 1945, It suited the wartime mentality of Great Britain. It really took off as Liverpool’s song in 1963 when Liverpool’s popular band Gerry and the Pacemakers recorded a version and it became a huge hit in the city. That’s when it was adopted as the FC’s official song. That’s Gerry singing in the video I posted.

        • The Wanderer

          That song will be played at my funeral, along with ACDC’s Highway to Hell.

    • #JusticeForThe96

  • phoenix00

    Related, but serious question, if any Londoners are around: would the Khan election increase LHR’s chances of a third runway? Boris Johnson was pretty dead set against it.

    • I’m not British, but I follow the politics for fun, and I don’t think the LHR expansion will happen, because even if Labour supports it they have to govern with the support of the Greens.

      https://www.londonelects.org.uk/im-voter/election-results/results-2016

    • Sarah Balfour

      Not sure what Sadiq’s position is, but it’s the DoT that has the final say. Boris flip-flopped, depending on which way his farts blew.

  • Cismontane

    He.. Trumpenfuhrer will make an exception for the mayor and allow him to visit America! See how tolerant der Trump is!

    http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2016/05/09/donald-trump-says-new-london-mayor-could-be-exception-to-his-ban-on-muslims/?_r=0

    • Lamashtar

      The stupid..it burns.

  • amindofitsown

    Aww! When I Google “stupidest man on the internet”, I see articles from the Wonkette, but no big picture and description of the SMRTest Man anymore. I haz a disappoint.

  • kaydenpat

    All Muslim women look alike, don’t you know?

    • Mimihaha

      I think it’s more all women look alike.

  • NotALiar

    I will not be remotely surprised when President Trump names Jim Hoft as Secretary of State.

    • ez

      Department of Education as well?

      • NotALiar

        He will get that nice lady from Texas who is running for school board. The one who knows about President Obama’s gay hooker past.

        • Yes, her area (Mineola) is just down the road about twenty minutes from Tyler, home of “Goober” Gohmert, the dumbest man in Congress (and that’s saying something).

    • NotALiar

      Or Tom Cotton. Wow that actually made my skin crawl with fear.

    • phoenix00

      That Cheney dude for Secretary of Defense? Since he knows how to shoot someone? When they’re least expecting it?

  • SullivanSt

    Besides, is Chuck Johnson even on the internet any more? The idiot one of course, not the LGF one.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    I don’t know what I like more: all the schadenfreude of this of how lovely a couple the /khans look in their photos together. Those are people who love to smile, and it shows.

  • The joke’s on us: outgoing mayor/semishaved sheepdog Boris Johnson was the real jihadi. He’s got a suicide vest on as soon as he’s elected PM in 2020 he’s taking out Parliament in one big kaboom

  • dshwa

    We could call Chuck C. the stupidest boy on the internet, cause he ain’t a man.

    • Jamsie

      know how to really get under Chucky’s skin? Write him homoerotic love letters. Such fun.

  • dshwa

    What an idiot. I looked at that picture and knew immediately that wasn’t the same person.

  • guppy06

    Tommy Robinson can’t even spell “defense” right.

    • Sarah Balfour

      Neither can you, it’s ‘defence’. Pot. Kettle.

      (Yes, I know you nutters spell it like that, but WHO gave you the language you bastardised and mangled into American…?! Hmm…?!)

      • Just the facts, ma’am

        Er, Sarah that’s “bastardized”. You are welcome.

      • guppy06

        Hey, if you insist on spending ridiculous amounts of money on removing fences…

      • well…technically we took it, it wasn’t given to us. Kind of like the land mass known as as the United States of America. Yes, I realize we’re f**king it up now, but that’s a different subject.

  • Michelle Gambrel

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!ce454etwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !ce454e:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsManagementGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!ce454e….,….

  • ContextIsKey

    More hijab-wearing radicals. America Beware!

    • OctopiRage

      Sister-ria law!

  • Sarah Balfour

    What Dok has failed to mention is that, in a previous in-Kahn-ation (sorry, it was gnawing away at my brain like a rabid beaver) Sadiq was a well-respected human rights lawyer (which I’d have thought would make him a shit Muslim, having read the Qur’an).

    (And if he makes it through his first term without a single ‘Wrath of Kahn’ meme, I shall be EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED in you, Internetz)

    • Wrath of Kahn? I guarantee you, The Daily Mail and The Sun both already have that headline dummied up.

    • Kooolest G

      looks like kirk beat them to it

      • Serai 1

        Shatner is awesome.

  • JackLinks

    This isn’t the 1st time Hoft has been named the stupidest man on the internet by Wonkette, read on!

    http://wonkette.com/504595/jim-hoft-finally-officially-designated-as-the-dumbest-man-on-the-internet-with-reed-irvine-award

  • Serai 1

    Cowards always run away.

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