SHARE
Nah she's not batshit AT ALL.
Nah she’s not batshit AT ALL.

People spend Mother’s Day in very different ways! If you are a mommy or are close to your mommy, you probably had brunch or dinner or played Putt Putt with your mom on Sunday. If you have a toxic relationship with your mom, you scrolled through Facebook like GAHHHHH, seeing everybody else’s Mother’s Day posts. If your mom has passed, it was probably a sad day, but hopefully one where you remembered her fondly.

But if you are crazy-ass wingnut fundamentalist lady Christine Weick — yes, she is the crazy Monster drink lady who is pretty sure Muslins are invading Oklahoma and Texas, and who is pretty sure her son won’t speak to her because of demon slut Katy Perry — you spent the day holding a sign out in front of the EconoLodge in Sevierville, Tennessee, exhorting passers-by to thank their mommies for not being gross box-munching lesbians:

thankyourmom
Does Christine live in that SUV? MAYBE.

Awwwww, mommy!

You probably totally forgot to give your mom a big hug and thank her for being so crazy for penis that she rode your dad like a stallion all those many years ago, which resulted in the miracle called YOU. Unless your mom is actually a lezzie and she somehow managed to get scissor-pregnant, and medical science is still trying to figure out how you exist.

OR maybe she is a lesbian and she got pregnant some other way, or maybe even you are adopted and your mom is straight, but you’re still not remotely thanking her for having a PhD in how amazing dicks are, why are you so ungrateful like that?

So anyway, this is Christine Weick’s Mother’s Day tradition, apparently. In 2014, she held her “Praise Jesus your mom isn’t a lady-loving diddle-monster” sign and another lady threw a slushie at her! This year, she reports that there was no slushie-throwing, but that the EconoLodge staff wanted to turn the garden hose on her, which is LOL. But it turned out OK because they called the cops, and the nice officer said it was perfectly acceptable and legal for her to stand where she was standing, reminding people to reflect on that time their moms’ vagina parts were full to the brim of their dads’ dicks, because that is the most important part of the fucking Gospels, and if you don’t understand such things you are obviously going to hell.

What, you don’t remember that part of the Gospels?

Then why is Christine clearly saying in this picture that she is sharing “some Gospel Truth” with these counter-protesters?

christine

Yeah, you all just need to go back and read your Bibles some more, and let us know when you find the part about how choosy moms don’t choose Jif, they choose hot, hard, throbbing cock, in Jesus’s name, AMEN.

[Christine Weick on Facebook via Friendly Atheist / RawStory]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • anwisok

    I guess I take after my Mom?

  • Joe Beese

    You’re not calling your mother as often as she wants.

  • Nounverb911

    So I guess Weick wouldn’t approve of these then?

    • Jay Vaughn

      EVEN GHOST AND HORSE!!!

    • SDGeoff

      Adorable.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Probably not. Actually through I think the one on the bottom left maybe a man and a woman of some kind. The green monster on the left looks a bit feminine and the freaky monster who’s hand/lobster claw she’s holding looks kind of masculine. Than again, they’re clearly not human, so I think Christine Weick would probably still have a problem with that one.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Thank your Mom for not being Christine Weick.

  • mrpuma2u

    At the Earthday shindig in Nashville a couple of douchey fire and brimstone preach freaks showed up to push more people towards atheism, telling everyone they were going to hell for wearing patchouli oil (false idols) and being gay and what not. Several millenials got in their face a bit, and 2 young ladies tongue kissed right in front of them, which got big cheers from the crowd.

    • HogeyeGrex

      To be fair, bathing in patchouli and then going out in public really ought to consign one to the fiery depths.

      • mrpuma2u

        Allegedly, the xtian god loves even the patchouli afflicted. One more reason not to believe in it.

      • CJTX

        Aye – and two ladies kissing is almost always going to get a big cheer fro the crowd.

  • Spotts1701

    Does she have kids? Or did they all change their names and go into Witness Protection?

  • Nounverb911

    Weick does realize that Gays can have children too, also?

    • H0mer0

      probably not; as do most religious crazies, she makes a lot of false assumptions to arrive at a lot of incorrect conclusions.

  • Logic of Color

    “Share the Gospel”. Kinda like giving someone a cold sore on purpose, at least her version of it

  • I happen to know that the Easter Bunny did dye for my sins.

    • PAAS on Earth?

    • Oneofthebobs

      I don’t believe he eggsists.

      • It is a colorful story, though.

        • Oneofthebobs

          But it didn’t hoppin.

          • So I should cross that one off my list?

          • Oneofthebobs

            Perhaps first , you should think about it for rabbit.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            ya’ll splittin hares now.

          • This has all been a lot of hue and cry.

          • Oneofthebobs

            Seems to be ineggsaustable.

        • Doug Langley

          Sounds like fuzzy logic.

          • Oneofthebobs

            Easter no end to this?

          • Querolous

            Not until we get it nailed down.

    • calliecallie

      Eggzactly.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He was pretty much a basket case, those last three days.

  • I thanked my mom one time for not being crazy mean like my friend Robert’s mom. I guess it’s sort of the same thing.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Pagan Hare would be a pretty name for a hippie speedmetal band.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Maybe it’s code for lesbian pubes.

      • SDGeoff

        Mmmm…code.

    • I think P.J. O’Rourke may be writing her material.

    • Logic of Color

      Pagan Hare is what goes through my mind every early morning when I get out of bed and look in the mirror

      • H0mer0

        I’ve learned to appreciate my pagan hair, the way it sometimes spontaneously and whimsically arranges itself into ringlets, even at the mature age of 51.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I want to know more about the crucified Easter Bunny. Has he been resurrected ?

    • Nounverb911

      Yes and is living on Trump’s head.

    • It was a hare-raising experience.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Dude. Game of Throne spoilers. I haven’t watched yet.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        John Snow isn’t furry enough to be the Easter Bunny! Also how would a Bunny stand a chance against all those evil murderous, treacherous power hungry people, plus those evil murderous white walkers?

    • kindness

      Yes the Easter Bunny has risen. Didn’t you get the chocolate eggs last month?

      • Oblios_Cap

        No. I pretty much stopped celebrating Spring fertility rites a few years back.

      • H0mer0

        Will he come again?

        [attended too many masses with my Catholic ex, back when I thought there was a certain sexiness to Catholicism, but realized it was just Catholic Boys.]

  • ManchuCandidate

    Mommy Hatest

  • Scooby

    Do we also have to thank them for not being into anal and BJs?

    • kindness

      A little TMI wrt dear Ma really.

    • H0mer0

      [sacrilegious simile regarding the faith of the Syro-Phoenician woman in the gospels]
      or
      [I don’t know any woman who would be exclusively into ‘a’ and ‘B’, unless trying to preserve her “virginity”]

  • MsAnthropesMr

    how choosy moms don’t choose Jif, they choose hot, hard, throbbing cock, in Jesus’s name, AMEN.

    Why not both?

    • Two great tastes that taste great together?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Peanut butter coated salted rat dicks. Ya’ll gettin gourmet on me.

  • Callyson

    “I’d like to thank both of my Moms!”

    – Heather from Heather Has Two Mommies

  • Tendernob

    I am glad my Mom raised me to not reflexively hate others who are different than me or don’t conform to my subjective interpretation of some Bible verses.

    • Oneofthebobs

      And that kid of hers! “My dad’s God, what does your dad do”. Arrogant jerk.

    • Anarchy Pony

      The vagina’d don’t get free will…

  • cousin itt

    Christine? There’s someone here to meet you. He says he’s the Wicker Man.

  • calliecallie

    I am still so hopped up on Mother’s Day attention that I cannot focus on this crazy lady’s nonsense. My son sent me the sweetest text, with a photo from when he was two or three. I am verklempt just thinking about it.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      My lads picked me out an orchid and a garden whirly bird thingy thing (I would never buy one of those myself, but….he’s 10) and I was all DAW. And THEN they folded the laundry without even being prompted, and I cried.
      Happy late’ mom’s day to you, Callie!

      • calliecallie

        To you also too Jen!

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Of course the Easter Bunny died for our sins. In that helicopter crash.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN-p6kuo7Wo

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Family Guy is pure unadulterated evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O

  • Mpeg

    Weick’s favorite 90s-retro hit is the one with the refrain: “There’s-a Hole-in-my-Twat/ That-can ON-ly be filled-by-diiiick…” … No, wait, that was the other Extreme~

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Can you sing me another verse? I’m not sure I recognize that.

  • Fat Mermaid

    But… my mother is gay. She was just in her forties before she worked it out, because of shit like this.

    Thanks mom, for being gay. Your wife is awesome.

  • Lizzietish81

    It’s along the same “logic” as “thank your mom for choosing life”

    If I didn’t exist I wouldn’t care.

    • But we would be sad.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        We’d be happy, cause we’d still be in heaven, no?

        • I meant it as we would be sad if Lizzie didn’t exist.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            OHHHH. But, she would be happy, so we should be happy for her, because heaven is all marvelous, even though it would make our own lives that much suckier. Which is selfish of us, really.
            I dunno, if you follow religious logic to its logical conclusions you keep running into the fact that much, if not all of it, is utter bull shit.

          • definitely udder bull shit. (sorry, my migraine meds are making me pretty loopy.)

          • DemmeFatale

            Migraines suck. (I get them too.)
            Hopefully, we’ll grow out of them.
            (Mom used to get them too, but no longer.)

          • handyhippie65

            my dad, sister, and brother had them. i am thank the goddess every day that i don’t.

          • handyhippie65

            if you read what the bible says about heaven, it is all about singing praises to, and giving glory to god. i don’t kiss ass in this life, why would i want to do it for all eternity?

      • JustPixelz

        Thank our Lizzietish81 for choosing Wonkette.

      • Lizzietish81

        You wouldn’t know me to miss me

        • Another good idea dies in the cold light of logic and rational thought.

          • Oneofthebobs

            Anybody know where to find a good paradox?

          • Have you tried your local HMO?

          • H0mer0

            sorry, I work alone.

          • H0mer0

            I was having dinner with one of my colleagues (who may or may not have a crush on me, I dunno, my S.O. thinks he does) about my existence being due to contraceptive failure and he said something similar about “then you wouldn’t be here” and then I had a Sally Fields moment (I have a hard time with compliments, people saying nice things about me and positive feedback–it is so much easier to take negative feedback which I can then ignore and block out. )

    • TheAndreaK

      EXACTLY! I cannot tell you how many times I’ve pointed that out to people that are glad their mom chose life. If you didn’t exist, you’d never know because you never existed. They just get confused and then angry. It hurts to think about stuff too hard, I guess.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Thunk is hurd…

      • And what if your life kinda sucks?

      • nightmoth

        Kinda OT, but tangentially related:
        State of Georgia just killed another killer. This particular one had the usual horrible childhood, which started with his impoverished prostitute mother trying an unsuccessful home abortion. (The state of Georgia abolished medicaid funded abortions shortly after Roe vs. Wade.) People get confused and angry when I point out that if a woman really, really doesn’t want a baby, it’s more moral to let her abort it before it’s born. I doubt that the man’s last thoughts on the gurney were “Thanks, Mom, for letting me exist.”

        • TheAndreaK

          My time working for a treatment foster care agency only solidified my stance that sex education, birth control, and abortion are absolutely things that need to be in place. Because sometimes when people aren’t equipped to be parents, they do horrible, horrible things to their children. It’s heartbreaking.

          • nightmoth

            No snark—-Thank you for your service.

    • The Wanderer

      It’s a silly argument by the forced-birthers.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Logic is for liberals and sodomites!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Well you technically wouldn’t exist if she didn’t “choose life” so it has that going for it. Unless your life is bad enough to the point that you just want it to end, its kind of hard to imagine why you wouldn’t be glad you were born.

    • Thanks for giving birth to me and not those other eggs, Mom!

      • Blank Ron

        I sense the paw of the Most Holy Easter Bunny at work here. Who else knows more about eggs?

        • H0mer0

          Foxes?

        • handyhippie65

          skunks? they love eggses.

  • beavertank

    Jesus was a big fan of Mary Magdalene, and since she was a literal prostitute she probably loved her some dick, so ipso facto MILFs are god’s favorites.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Mary was not actually a prostitute. That bit was applied to her centuries later when the Magdalians in what is now France were threatening to have too many followers. Not the first women in power smear campaign, either; they learned it from the Romans who did the same thing to Cleopatra.

      • beavertank

        Aw. Oh well… I still like to think fictional Jesus was a superfreak.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          IF there was a Mary and Jeebus and all that, she was likely an Apostle. Full fledged no less (at the time, there were female priests even). Old boys club had to stomp that down flat.

          • CJTX

            i just realized that both Jesus’ mom and purported boo Mary magdalene share the same first name. (I am dumb).
            Bonus! My friend’s dad told me when he was in college, in a major latino area, he and his friends would walk around school shouting “Maria!”. Inevitably a girl would turn around and they’d use that as an “in” to go chat the girl up.

          • Blank Ron

            Not unlike the way Superman’s g/fs all have the initials L.L.

      • berkeleyfarm

        There was also quite a bit of conflating of stories going on from various threads in the Gospel.

        Serious recent scholarship seems to think she was well-off and was supporting the band of apostles in some way.

        And as the first witness to the Resurrection? “Apostle to the Apostles”.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Quite. He came back to HER first. That means something. In a buncha ramblings where everything means something, they keep trying to pretend that he came back to her first means nothing?
          PFT.

  • beatbort

    If my dear mother were alive today, I would call her right now and thank her for being the wonderful, fully sane, decent, loving and caring mother she was and I would add, “And thanks for not being batshit crazy like Christine Clustervuck.” (See? I cleaned if up for my mom).

  • goonemeritus

    Can any of us really be sure our mothers aren’t lesbian to some degree?

    • AntiDerpomeme

      My sainted mother libel! I’m pretty sure she’s still a virgin too, and if you know otherwise DONT TELL ME I’M NOT LISTENING TO IT!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Fact: If you become good girl friends with your mother as you age, you will hear so much stuff you never wanted to hear about.

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          I wish you hadn’t said that.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I could give you details? Explicit, horrifying details.

        • Especially if you take your father for his prostate cancer treatment, and talk with your mother in the waiting room. Way too much stuff!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Et tu? heh. :huggles: I figured she just really needed someone. Or tried it out for shock value, and when I acted like an adult, figured it was ON.

        • DemmeFatale

          So true (unfortunately):
          La, la, la! (plugs ears)
          Can’t hear you!
          TMI!

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Thank you.

  • Reddishrabbit

    The Easter bunny died and rose out of a Cadbury Egg for ever lasting life of deliciousness

    • Joe Beese

      In my father’s mansion are many hutches.

    • JustPixelz

      Ever lasting? Mine only lasted four minutes.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    I am sure there is some reason this lady chose the econo lodge? I’d click the link but Wonkette has taught me to never, ever, click on the link.

    • Land Shark

      Maybe the Econo-Lodge had a “Happy Gay Mother’s Day” special?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        That would be dissappointing. I am hoping Econo Lodge is like the Suberus of hotel chains or something. Something fun and juicey like that.

        • Land Shark

          Subarus park for free?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Sure! It’s part of the big gay agenda, no? I was promised a big gay agenda. It better come with free parking.

          • Land Shark

            and free refills. The big gay agenda promised me free refills. Oh, and those mints from the restaurants also too.

          • H0mer0

            All this time I drove a Subaru and no woman hit on me. I feel soooo …..

    • In case she met some guy while she was protesting?

      • H0mer0

        Mebbe that’s why the econolodge staff turned the hose on her.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    I know so many lesbian mommies (why yes, I did go to Smith, why do you ask), having all the babies in a variety of ways (ex husbands, artificial insemination, probably some unicorn magic, …). They are all pretty good moms from what I can tell. At least their kids all still speak with them.

    • Suttree

      Ha! I have two family members who went to Smith and both came out as lesbians. A few years ago I heard one of them was getting married and I immediately asked if it was that beautiful woman she was living with in Boston. It turned out she actually met an awesome guy. She is now making babbies and stuff. My opinion of Smith is much lower as a result. :)

      • H0mer0

        it’s all good.

  • beatbort

    Please get to the “ironic” ending of this cautionary tale:
    That Christine Clusterfuck’s own kids didn’t call her on Mother’s Day to thank her for anything.

    • The Wanderer

      Not even to thank her for making them turn gay? Ingrates.

      • Land Shark

        or changing their names?

      • beavertank

        I guess the “love cock” half of her message got through, at least.

        • H0mer0

          ISWYDT!

    • bupkus23

      Supposedly, she says she “has no relationship” with her son, since he doesn’t share her faith ( from an earlier piece about her ).

  • The Wanderer

    No time like the present to put up this pic of my Easter lawn sculpture, from 2007:

    • Hutch

      The precious blood is a nice touch, Wanderer!

      • The Wanderer

        (bows) Thank you.

    • Objectifer

      Did it become a zombie bunny after 3 days?

      • The Wanderer

        Nope. Still sits in my garage, safely nailed down.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Wonketters are some seriously artistic types.

      Reminds me of the time my siblings crucified GI Joe. Not tiny action figure GI Joe, but fully jointed doll sized with hair and beard GI Joe. Only, they did it as a gift for my mom and used Wet N Wild nail polish for the blood.

      • DemmeFatale

        When he was 5, my little brother once took off all his clothes, stuck a cotton ball in his butt, and hopped around singing “here comes Peter Cottontail.”
        (Not as good as yours, but does that count?)

        • H0mer0

          I LUV that visual!

    • Jon Sussex

      Looks like it had blood coming out of its wherever.

      • The Wanderer

        I got a bit sloppy with the red paint, yeah.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Donald Trump Libel! You stole his patented catch phrase!

      • Oneofthebobs

        Must’ve just been to a Trump rally.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      That’s just wrong!

      • The Wanderer

        Thank you. :-)

    • malsperanza

      I take it you don’t have a invasive busybody homeowners association to prevent you from doing that.

      • The Wanderer

        As a matter of fact, I do. I generally have The Passion of Flopsy out just long enough to make people go “WTF?!” and take it back in before the fascisti can start bitching at me.

        • H0mer0

          the landscaping, “hardscaping” and mulch and rocks and stuff screamed homeowners assoc to me.

  • Vincent Ricola

    My mom would be appalled at Christine Weick and would take great pains to avoid sitting next to her at their hypothetical book club. Thanks for being awesome, mom!

  • Hutch

    Spending the day out in front of the EconoLodge in Sevierville, Tennessee, holding ANY sign should be grounds for having a hose turned on you.

    • beatbort

      But, on the other hand, spending an entire day in front of an EconoLodge anywhere in America is exactly what she deserves.

      • Hutch

        Let’s go get some Big Gulp Slurpees to throw!

  • Logic of Color

    Looks like she writed a book dumbsplaining Revelations. The reviews are hilarious. One guy described her as “Kirk Cameron-esque”.
    http://www.amazon.com/Explain-This-Verse-Explanation-Revelation/dp/193466832X/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Of course she wrote a book. Grifters gonna grift.

    • Hutch

      This reviewer said it best: “I’m actually wondering if this was written as part of some elaborate joke. This woman is barely literate. Explain This! is the single worst thing I have ever read including fast food menus. Do not waste any time
      or money on this” And I believe the Kindle version is 99 cents.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Kindle version showed free for me XD

        • Hutch

          Praise god! It’s a mackerrel!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I am halfway tempted to get it, and if not read it, at least glance through it enough to pull out random quotes and post them inappropriately.
            I’m off today, you see.

          • The Wanderer

            I’d buy it just to give it as a Christmas gift to someone I don’t like.

    • Anarchy Pony

      In that she’s completely divorced from reality?

      • Logic of Color

        Hah totally. Here’s the quote:

        The book is just bits and pieces of other laity ramblings from modern “Kirk Cameron-esque” end time propaganda

        • Gleem-McShinez

          And that’s one of the positive reviews, right?

    • Blank Ron

      Betcha a cookie she thinks it’s a compliment.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    I think the time is right for a whacky ABC sitcom called My Mother The Lesbian, with Whoopi Goldberg as Mom.

    • Doug Langley

      In our next episode, Mom decides she wants a baby. Hilarity ensues.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Have you forgotten about In Vitro Fertilization, just like Christine Weick?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Now I’ve got to call my mom and thank her for being a decent human being instead of a goddamned lunatic right-wing evangelical trainwreck.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Geez, if you’re an EconoLodge in Sevierville, Tennessee, it’s not like you don’t already have enough problems.

    • bupkus23

      IK,R? The best you can hope for is that Dolly Parton would come slumming from Pigeon Forge…

  • witsended

    I am sick of you gay, feminist tree humpers and all your complaints about men and how oppressed you all are. For gods sake give it a rest.

    Girls in Saudi Arabia demand the right to have PE lessons

    Girls at private schools have been allowed to take part in classes since 2013 – but only if they abide by a ‘decent dress code’ that complies with the rules of sharia.

    But now, girls across the country have started demanding it should apply to all schools across the Islamic Kingdom.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/girls-in-saudi-arabia-demand-the-right-to-have-pe-lessons-a7013921.html

    • SnarkOff

      As a skinny, uncoordinated, team-sports-hating American girl in the 1970s forced to play P.E. with the boys and picked last for every team thanks to fucking Title 9, I would have happily demonstrated to NOT have to endure that shit.

      • DemmeFatale

        I ran for student council president, (and won), just to get out of P.E.
        (The principal and I made a deal.)

    • Doug White

      Why would they need PEE lessons? Just squat and push. How hard is that?

      Oh…. take panties off first…. forgot that step…. my bad….

    • phoenix00
  • Logic of Color

    She probably could have made her point just as effectively without slaughtering that poor bunny.

  • SnarkOff

    My mom, who is dead but thought Mother’s Day was a stupid Hallmark holiday, would tell this lady to go fuck herself.

    • afelinefan

      Your mom was AWESOME! And I DO notice that the Mother’s Day cards are a LOT more expensive than usual cards…all of them were $6.

      • Paul

        I took my Mom to one of her favorite greasy spoon breakfast joints where we had Eggs Benedict that cost $6.95. Fuck the cards at $6.

      • CJTX

        Wouldn’t it be fucked if they were 77% higher than all the other cards?

        That’s what we call around here, “getting cheated coming and going.”

    • SpideySenser
      • SnarkOff

        Aw, thank you. That is great.

        • SpideySenser

          You’re welcome. I hope the Globe didn’t try to make you sign in to see it. Unfortunately it had too many jpegs or whatever to drag n drop or to paste. I am with your Mom on the Hallmark thing. I feel the same about Valentine’s Day.

  • berkeleyfarm

    I am also wondering why the Econolodge. Do they have a coffee shop or something that serves Mother’s Day breakfast/brunch? Is it on a main road near the local restaurants?

    • SnarkOff

      It’s classier than the Motel 6, is why.

    • Fartknocker

      If she would have asked she was welcome at the Pigeon Forge Abortionplex. We celebrated Mother’s Day with baby back ribs.

  • MrBlobfish

    So, she’s cool with Dad being totally gay, right?

    • TheBidenator

      Apparently so just so long as both mom and dad take dick so it’s sort of like Ted Haggard.

  • Vecciojohn LLC
  • afelinefan

    So she thinks it is impossible for lesbians to have children? Wow – what a GENIUS!

    • SnarkOff

      My cousin, her wife, and their son would beg to differ.

      • Frank Underboob

        So would about half of my lesbian friends.

  • Major_Major_Major

    I wouldn’t put it down as a bucketlist destination, but to give Sevierville its due, Mrs_Major and I had one of the all time great day trips to there and the surrounding area, including the muscle car museum, the deer farm (?) petting zoo, the lost sea, and a drive through the Nantahala Nat’l Forest there and back.

    • SnarkOff

      I hope you stopped for a picnic lunch at Choccolocco Park.

      • Major_Major_Major

        I’m not familiar with Choccolocco Park, and honestly can’t recall why we ended up in Sevierville. Mrs_Major has a knack for finding fun, kind of quirky, things to do on a minimal budget.

        • CJTX

          “Mrs_Major has a knack for finding fun, kind of quirky, things to do on a minimal budget.”

          Major, sir, that’s called getting lost.

        • SnarkOff

          Dear god; I am now making esoteric Wonkette in-jokes that are so esoteric, even Wonkette insiders don’t get them. I need a life. http://wonkette.com/601474/dumb-alabama-town-decides-not-to-jail-transgenders-for-pooping-at-their-local-target

          • Frank Underboob

            IK,R? I keep on having to stop myself from using Wonketariat in-jokes in places where nobody’s heard of this site.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Fuck me running, I knew there was something there, but I am sooo off my game. Not only is it Monday, but I learned on Friday that I have about 300 + hours of real hours on projects (not lit review, data mining, wonkette reading/commenting hours) and only 6 weeks to get it done. The end of June can’t come soon enough.

    • Nockular cavity

      My mom’s family is from near there, and it’s a lovely area. And Dolly Parton is from Sevierville, and she’s much more respectable than this loon.

      • Major_Major_Major

        It’s funny, in my experience the people in eastern Tennessee and Western NC are awesome on an individual basis, and the scenery is second to none, but the wackaloons are just….

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Of course, it would be utterly silly of me to explain to this woman WHY the Easter Bunny is associated with Easter. I mean, the metaphor of Spring being the rebirth of the world and all…

    Oh, fuck it. No sense wasting precious bits on this.

  • TheBidenator

    “Unless your mom is actually a lezzie and she somehow managed to get scissor-pregnant”
    Uhm Evan, Chelsea Clinton isn’t enough evidence? Go read one of the ‘respectable’ wingnut sites FFS!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Also Obama is a gay, Kenyan, martian, Muslim, reptilian overlord! LOL!

      • Doug White

        Did I say ‘overlord’? I meant ‘protector’!

    • Suttree

      I would pay good ameros to watch Chelsea and Huma make a scissor-babby.

      • Frank Underboob

        I would pay good money to not watch that. I mean, I’m sure she’s a wonderful person & stuff, but the poor woman somehow managed to inherit the least attractive features of both her parents.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Who on Earth thinks that the Easter Bunny died for our sins? I don’t even think there’s a parody religion that preaches that. So how exactly are we worshiping the Easter Bunny. I don’t even think that anyone thinks the Easter Bunny is a real entity, except for maybe very young children.

    • SnarkOff

      Everyone knows the Tooth Fairy died for our sins.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        How could she have died for our sins when she’s clearly guilty of the sin of greed, since desires all those little boys and little girls valuable teeth?

        • Usedtobeyellerdawg

          Phase 1: Collect teeth
          Phase 2: ?
          Phase 3: Profit!

          • Doug White

            You know who else profited from teeth?

          • Bad Granny

            Fantine?

          • Doug Langley

            The British Dental Association?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOY10WyIOQg

          • Lambsendbeds

            Lemming…Lemming…Lemming of the BDA!

          • John Smith

            Every game show host ever?

          • Doug White

            Bzzzzzt!!

            No, I’m sorry…. we were looking for ‘Nazis’…… Nazis also profited from teeth…. by selling the gold fillings. And remember to phrase your response in the form of a question….

            But you do win the home version of Wonkette. Don….please tell them all about it!

          • Frank Underboob

            It worked for Mr Teatime.

    • The Wanderer

      Christianity being a Borg religion, I wonder how she feels about the concepts of heaven and hell being borrowed from Judaism via Babylon, about the Mithraic influences on the Eucharist (and the rite of Eating the God predates writing), or any of a number of other things.

    • Suttree

      On the same day I found out the Easter bunny wasn’t real, I figured out Santa and Jesus too. I was five and in no way was it traumatic for me except in the realization that all of these grown ups around me believed in some magical being.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the only one to kill a bunny for your sins was Glenn Close

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Wah?

        • Zippy W Pinhead
          • CriticalDragon1177

            I remember that scene. It was extremely upsetting when I was a little kid.

          • DemmeFatale

            I can’t even watch the clip now.

          • Frank Underboob

            How the hell did you come to be watching it as a kid?

          • CriticalDragon1177

            I don’t know exactly, but I remember watching it as a kid.

    • edith prickly

      I would guess she’s trying to make #TheWarOnEaster a thing, but Santa has better PR. Also, nailing a filthy pathetic carnival prize rabbit to a cross is too crazy even for the professional aggrieved Christians at FauxSnooze.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        But wouldn’t “Fox News” be against her for waging a war on Easter? They’re not pro war on Christmas

        • Damian L

          But bunny is delicious

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Wait, what!!?

  • baconzgood

    To be honest….Baconz mom said to me on Sunday

    “God, you were a pain in the ass as a kid. I was sooo glad when you moved to Chicago when you were 19. I wanted you to stay there. But you came back and went to school at CMU and stayed at my house. .and all that debt you accrued…Jesus, your a horrible person to live with. You’re sloppy, own drums, and always want me to watch Fritz Language or David Lynch films, and our dog liked you more than i did. You remember [Baconz middle sisters dog] and Pringles bit you every chance she could..and another thing. …”

    She went on a tangent like this sort for a good 15 minutes (and Baconzgood’s mother is a loud talker).

    “Sooooooo, Ma…..would you like my sons to give you you’re present now or wait till after dessert in this nice restaurant?”

    Sorry Baconzgood needed to vent.

    • Holy cow, that is harsh. My sympathies Baconz.

      • baconzgood

        The first thing Baconz mother sais when I see her is “what the fuck is your problem?” I think she wanted all girls. I was her only boy (I’m the youngest and have 5 older sisters).

        • You know, that conversation in the waiting room where my mom started explaining how my Dad’s prostate cancer would affect them is starting to seem much more pleasant now.

          • Doug White

            The herbal supplement ads to promote erectile function are OVER THAR ——–>

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          The last thing my mother said to me before she passed was, “You got fat.” I love my mother too but there are reasons why we move to states far away from our families.

          • baconzgood

            Don’t get me started on Father’s day.

            Baconz mom was the “nice” parent to me.

        • Jenny

          Oy. My son has been pretty much joined to my hip since birth.

          Look at this shit. I’m looking at him like he can do no wrong. He will have to turn into a total monster in prison for me to be like oh he is the worst disappointment ever. He’s a momma’s boy and I don’t care!

          • baconzgood

            Handsom family. Here’s a rare picture of Baconz , Baconz Jr. And Hambone . Baconz is the tall one. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/69d4c91b6e724ee7634e054db5b06b7aa5fed82d83ac5b1732f61fee296d4e66.jpg

          • Jenny

            There are cows…

            Also your boys are pretty darn tall too!

          • baconzgood

            I’m still wondering why we were all wearing suits that day… it wasn’t Christmas or Easter. It was just a normal Saturday last november but we all dressed up. But we also wear hockey equipment playing miniature golf some times too also.

          • malsperanza

            Miniature golf, if played correctly, is a contact sport.

          • baconzgood

            We are tall. Baconz is 6 4. Ex-Mrs Baconz is 5 11. So Baconz Jr. And Hambone will have problems driving Japanese cars and buying pants.

          • Jenny

            I wonder what it is like to be tall! I’m only 5’5. My kids will tower over me and that’s ok.

          • baconzgood

            It’s lame being tall. The only time it’s nice is when you over hear a woman say “I like tall men”. Beyond that it’s a pain in the ass being tall.

          • Jenny

            Which should be like all the time! Being tall is a requirement for most women.

          • baconzgood

            Well gals can wear high heels around me. I’ve never been shorter than my date.

          • Jenny

            And that’s all that matters!

            I’ve dated a few guys as tall or shorter than I am. It feels unnatural for the most part.

            I’m not sure why it’s unnerving, it just is. It almost feels like being over exposed, like walking around with half of your clothes on.

            Then there’s usually a Napoleon complex to go with it. The chip on the shoulder is far more obnoxious and harder to accept than the height.

          • Zyxomma

            As a 5’2″ woman, it’s nice to have tall men in the world, particularly at the supermarket when what I need is on the top shelf, and I ask them nicely if they’ll get it for me. They usually hand it to me with a smile.

          • malsperanza

            That photo looks pretty complete to me. No wicked witch lurking mom needed.

        • Biff52

          You can be honest here, I don’t think she reads wonkette comments.

    • Doug Langley

      Happy Mommie Dearest Day.

    • DemmeFatale

      Virtual hug.

    • Frank Underboob

      *hugs* I hear you. My mother used to talk that way about me to my girlfriends too.
      I’d be all “No, you really don’t want to meet my mother”, & they’d be all “Aw, you’re so shy, how bad could it be?”, & then they’d end up in tears.

      • yyyaz

        I just flat refused to make introductions, moved out the week I turned 17. Shitty parents suck.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Did she ever call you in the middle of the night to tell you how much she hates you and that the day you were born was the worst night of her life like my dear mother? She was usually drunk, and she’d always accidentally hang up on me. Then she’d call me back to scream at me for hanging up on her. Good times…

      • baconzgood

        Are we related?

        • Jonny On Maui

          i’m getting the feeling…

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I still don’t get how that whole dying for my sins thing is supposed to work.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      God supposedly can’t forgive unless someone else is made to suffer for immoral acts.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Committed way back in before you were here time…

        • Biff52

          That’s just how blood feuds work.

    • Bad Granny

      He died so you don’t have to, except you will, but it won’t count, because magic and reasons. See, it makes perfect sense.

    • BigBoppa

      It’s easy.

      God loves us so much that He decided to burn us forever in a lake of fire because some chick ate an apple but then He had second thoughts about that so He got the idea to make His Own Self into His Own Son so He could murder Himself to give us a get out of Fire Lake free card. And then he had second thoughts about that whole murder His Own Self thing so He got Himself resurrected a few days later but the offer for the get out of Fire Lake free card still stands as long as you’re gullible enough to believe all this bullshit.

      What’s so hard about that?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    There’s a fucking gospel? “Thou shalt put thine penis in the unmentionable abomination and thrust. And the number of thine thrusting shall be three…no more, no less. Four is right out, the same as two, unless thou continuist on to three….”

    • Skadi

      “Then ejaculatest thou with the full force of thy turgid love muscle into thine enemy, who being naughty in My sight, shall go, ‘Yeah, baby!'”

      • Frank Underboob

        Or more likely: “Did you take the garbage out?”

  • Incoming Ham

    How come most normal people can remember to take their meds in the morning and this* person can’t.

    (answering my own question, she is somewhat normal deficient)

  • kindness

    Scissor pregnant?

    Turkey Baster Libelz!!!!11!!

  • Jenny

    Needs more turgid love muscles.

    • Bad Granny

      Everything needs more turgid love muscle!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Turgid love muscles?

    • Belasaurius

      i’m curious

      • Jenny

        of?

        • Belasaurius

          I forgot what turgid meant, once I did, my curiosity was sated

          • Jenny

            Oh surely you know of the wonkette troll who posts about hard throbbing turgid love muscles of gay sex?!!

          • Belasaurius

            sounds vaguely familiar

          • tinywriting

            I miss her!!

      • Frank Underboob

        Yellow?

    • Belasaurius

      you’re only saying that because of your turgid calves

  • CriticalDragon1177

    “Thank your mom today for not being gay” Um, Christine Weick, do you have any idea that this is the twenty first century. Gay people can still be parents without even engaging in heterosexual sex once. You haven’t heard of In vitro fertilization? In fact I could easily have a mom who was an openly gay lesbian. She would most likely just not live with my biological father and instead live with her wife. Now I know that’s nightmare fuel to you isn’t it?

    • Clean Leon

      Test tube babies are all the rage these days. Why adopt when you can build the perfect child in a lab?

    • Sekhmet1

      Exactly. Indeed, this most likely will come as a terrible shock to her, but gay and bi people have been having kids throughout the centuries, even – they just married a member of the opposite sex for form’s sake (or if they were royal or aristocratic, whoever their parents picked to stave off war or whatever) or genuinely attempted to make a go of it because society can often be as shit as this spiteful bunny-crucifying scumbag is, if not more so.

  • jmhm

    And here I thought we are as the abrahamic God made us.

    I guess crazy monster drink lady is more on the gaia tip where women make those decisions.

  • The title of this post sounds slightly different when your uncle’s name is Richard.

    • gingerland62

      Uncle Daddy as we like to say…

    • Frank Underboob

      Ironically, one of my maternal uncles was indeed named Richard, & yes, he preferred to be called Dick.

    • Lamashtar

      It was difficult growing up loving a step-father named Richard too. “I love Dick” makes all your intimate family conversations awkward.

  • Belasaurius

    The Easter Bunny died for sombody’s sins, but not mine.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Couple ‘a deviled eggs on the side, and he was delicious!

  • whitroth

    She crucified the Bunny! She’s Evil!

    Oh, and what does she have against Muslins? Is she a Satinist?

    mark “love the feel of your hand on that satin….”

  • DemmeFatale

    Most people whizzing by:
    “Awww….a tribute to Prince! I wonder what it says?”

  • Mavenmaven

    Yeah, the Bible says Adam and Eve, not Amanda and Eve!

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Actually would make sense to thank Mom for not just giving Dad a blowjob that one night back in ’66, or whenever…

    • idiotboy

      Like that the blowjob thing ever happened, unless they had not gotten married yet.
      Do your research!

  • John Smith

    I get the feeling that sex with Christine would be like an impatient child in the back seat on a long trip, saying “are we there yet” at each thrust.

    • HanBarbara

      No ….beige…I will paint the ceiling beige……

      • therblig

        Icey Spoon: “When you’ve been married to a man for forty years you know all that don’t amount to a hill of beans. I’ve been married to Walt that long and I swear in all that time I just lie there thinkin’ about my canning”

    • Frank Underboob

      I’ve seen porn like that. It’s not very, uh, inspiring.

  • Nockular cavity

    What the fuck did she do to that poor rabbit?

    • Sekhmet1

      My sentiments exactly. That’s the creepiest thing I’ve seen all morning (admittedly it’s 7 am here and our home-grown lunar right fuckweasels are yet to get going for the day, but still). It’s so fucking wrong.

  • AnOuthouse

    I thought you get babbies by buying a Subaru and all the lesbie friends have one or two.

  • Sekhmet1

    Sorry, Wingnut McHomophobe, but I can’t. “Gay(e)” is my mum’s name. Literally.

  • Jenny

    So, her kids are super lucky. Everyone loves having a mom that is batshit crazy.

    • yyyaz

      Maybe not so much. Best laugh I had in a while came yesterday when one of my younger brothers called to ask me if I wanted to go pee on Mummy Dearest’s grave.

      • Jenny

        Yeah, I actually don’t know anyone who loves those types of mom’s. Everyone knows that kid with the psycho mom.

        • Lamashtar

          Bundy Mom was the first time I ever heard of the kids running away to the Sheriff tho.

  • Helena Handbag

    I want to open a diner and call it the “Munch Box”. Who’s in?

    • Ed Faunce

      Is the hot hard throbbing cock on the dessert menu?

      • therblig

        you don’t have to nuke it.

        • Odd Jørgensen

          Waiter, this dick is spongy…

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Keep sucking!

      • Jonny On Maui

        We just changed the name, used hot fudge and didn’t split the banana…

    • HorseChestnut

      Can it be a taqueria?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Fresh clams only, I hope.

      • Ricky Gay

        canned

        • Cindyinencinitas

          FFS.

      • Helena Handbag

        never canned!

    • Only if you have a “Carpet Munch Sandwich” with 3 kinds of bushy sprouts.

    • yyyaz

      Will it be as good as eatin’ at The Y?

    • The Wanderer

      George Carlin proposed opening a gay bar and calling it The Mouthful.

      • Helena Handbag

        I miss him. I wish he was here to see the Trumpocolypse, would love to hear his take on it

    • Frank Underboob

      Sounds good to me! – It’s one of my favourite meals. Is “Jack in the Box” still a thing in the US?

  • HorseChestnut

    Similar: the bumper stickers that say something like “THANK GOD YOUR MOM WAS PRO-LIFE.” I can’t believe they think that’s a gotcha. FWIW, my mom was pro-choice, and had an abortion once, and I’m glad she did, or else she’d be dead and I wouldn’t be here.

    • Serai 1

      It’s so funny how they assume that just because a women has kids, that means she’s “pro-life”. My mom certainly isn’t.

      • jmk

        The offspring’s mom isn’t, either.

        The fetus-fetishists are not only floored by pro-choice moms, but are absolutely flabbergasted when confronted with the fact that a hefty percentage of women who get abortions ALREADY have kids. They just make the assumption that if you’re pro-choice, you hate kids and don’t want one EVER.

        • Serai 1

          And most of them are MARRIED. Yeah, as far as they’re concerned, only sluts get abortions. Except when it’s their daughters, of course. THEN it’s completely justified.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    When do we get to add “Religion” to the DSM?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It took several thousand years just to get to where we are today, so I’m guessing maybe DSM MCMMLXXVII.

    • Serai 1

      What you’re thinking of is “religious mania”, and it used to be thought of as a mental disease. But sorry, religion in itself is not a mental disease, neither is believing in it. I know you like to feed your little ego by telling yourself you’re smarter than the vast majority of people who’ve ever lived, but let’s try to rein it in a bit.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Three words: Magic Sky Fairies

        Do you believe or not? Sanity lies in the balance.

        • Serai 1

          Sorry, but religion is not an either/or proposition. That’s for children and literalists. I’m neither, thank you. And it doesn’t bode well for your side when you frame the argument in the most childishly simplistic manner possible.

          • Frank Underboob

            “Sorry, but religion is not an either/or proposition.”
            Yeah, it is, actually. You believe in an invisible magic sky-daddy or you don’t. Not to many shades of grey there.

          • Serai 1

            No, it isn’t. You’re the one who’s casting the whole thing in black and white, so you’re incapable of seeing that it isn’t. That does not mean that your colorless view of life holds for others. You want this-or-that certainty, like a little kid who wants to be told everything by his daddy (* pause to savor THAT irony *), and throws insults when you don’t understand something. (Newsflash: THAT’S JUST STUPID is not a valid argument.)

            But trying to explain nuance to someone like you is pointless. You’re a literalist, and thus subtlety, metaphor, myth, all the ways humans have found to talk about the things we can’t know – all are lost on you. You have no ability to grasp what isn’t right in front of you, so this conversation is completely pointless. Go back to your colorless little world, and may you have joy of it.

          • Frank Underboob

            Pfft. Go fuck your religion – & your child-molesting priests – right in the face. At least I know I’m mentally ill – your life might improve when you acknowledge that you are too.

      • Frank Underboob

        Believing in imaginary stuff is, by definition, a mental illness. The only reason it’s not legally classified that way is because so many people suffer from it.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        OHHH! I’m the one with the ego problem?

        Says a person who believes in a deity, larger than the universe itself, listens carefully to the daily thoughts, hopes, and wishes of one of the innumerable life forms inhabiting a thin layer of goop on one little marble, that itself is tiny and almost invisible even in it’s own neighborhood.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR3Igc3Rhfg

        Yeah, it’s me telling myself stories that’s the problem…

        It’s my perspective that’s out of wack.

        • Serai 1

          WOW. I’m seriously laughing my ass off right now. You have NO IDEA who you’re talking to, what I believe, what religion I am, how it influences my thoughts, what I do about it, or ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT ME. And yet you assume that I’m exactly the sort of person that YOU have decided everyone on earth who believes in religion is. Gee, arrogant much?

          Okay, let’s turn the tables. You’re a soulless, self-worshipping child who thinks the entire universe revolves around him. You spend all day sneering at the entire world (except for your little cadre of nasty pals) because you’re convinced you’re FAR SMARTER than anyone else. You ignore everything good that’s ever been done by anyone who was religious, in favor of calling them stupid and misguided. You think that wars against any country that has a religious majority you don’t like are perfectly fine, and you think every religious person should be put in a camp and starved.

          There, how’s that? Was I accurate? I must be, since I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            Nailed it! Right to a cross!

            You’re right, I don’t know a thing about you. Except for you taking my comment as a haughty declaration that I believe I’m smarter than all the folks ever who have (or had) that olde tyme religion.

            I’m assuming you took it personally, because why else would you get snippy as a reply to what I said? “Try to rein it in a bit” is kind of an imperative. Assuming I made the comment to feel smarter and feed “my little ego” is kind of a judgment call.

            Guess I should have researched your background to get to know all about what makes you tick before assuming your panties became twisted by my 10 word comment because of your deep abiding faith.

            Turns out you’re just an argumentative ass-pickle. MY BAD

  • tinywriting

    ‘Moms don’t choose jif ‘ ??????

    Well, of course, jpegs are better for Internet.

    • MrCanoehead

      PNG libel!

      • tinywriting

        Who said anything about Papua New Guinea?!

    • Frank Underboob

      Only for photos! For text or line-art, GIF is much better. (So is PNG, but it doesn’t compress as well, & you can’t animate it.)

      • tinywriting

        Know-it-all!

        • Frank Underboob

          Hey, some of us have had to know this shit for our work. Also too, it gives me hives when I see those memes with text that’s fuzzy & blocky because it’s been JPG re-encoded a dozen times.

  • tinywriting

    Well, just c’mon!!! She’s amusing and hella creative!!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Tennessee state mental health services, can I help you? . . . Hmmm, I see . . . OK, does her sign have “God” or “Jesus ” on it? . . . Yeah? . . . OK, that’s actually normal in Tennessee. . . . Yep. . . . You’re welcome.”

  • phoenix00

    Ok I really need to go cuddle my favorite stuffies, even though I’m a grown dude…

    brb

  • smr06va

    “..they choose hot, hard, throbbing cock…”

    Only Evan could phrase this so passionately………………………

    • zerosumgame0005

      please Evan, go on…

      (asking for a friend!)
      (really!)
      (Seriously, SHUT-UP GUYS!)

    • handyhippie65

      it’s almost like he thought about it long and hard.

  • beatbort

    I think the Internet has coughed up Trump’s running mate with this lady.

  • Greg Comlish

    My mother was straight, but unfortunately she was an unquenchable anal slut. Thus I was never born.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      You poor, poor thing. If only some seepage would have found its way to another, nearby orifice you might be here today. Such a loss.

  • zerosumgame0005

    I know she hated it when alive, but a bong hit for mom!

  • DAD???!

  • Biff52

    I need a gofundme for a DNA test to prove David Crosby is my real dad.

  • Me not sure

    True story. My Dad suffered from Parkenson’s Disease and had stopped having sex with Mom out of fear that he couldn’t perform. Shortly before he died Mom laid him down on the bedroom floor and told him she would take care of everything. He was 82 at the time, but Mom took care of business and between her caring approach and my Dad’s tremors a good time was had by all. He died two weeks later, but my Mother, bless her, sent him off with a bang. She told me all of this after her filters failed. She passed away two weeks ago fantasizing about having sex with Ted Turner of all people, rest her soul.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I am truly sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person.

    • jmk

      I’m so sorry… she sounds awesome.

      • Me not sure

        She was, and thanks.

    • Frank Underboob

      That’s actually really sweet, in a perverted kind of way. Sounds like you & your mom would’ve enjoyed alt.tasteless, back in the day.

      • Me not sure

        After her stroke her filters kind of went poof. You wouldn’t believe the stuff she told me.

        • Frank Underboob

          Yow. How’s your recovery going?

          • Me not sure

            I’m OK. Thanks.

    • Invidosa

      I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my mom in October, it sucks, nuff said. Sounds like she rocked out with her socks out!

    • Greg Comlish

      How did you know who she was fantasizing about when she died two weeks ago?

      • Me not sure

        She told everybody. The nurses thought she was hoot when she was lucid. They said she was full of one liners.

        • Greg Comlish

          Yeah, but when would she have told them? Do you mean she was literally doing a train-of-consciousness vocalization of her masturbation fantasies as she was dying?

          • Me not sure

            No, in the weeks before her death. Sorry for the confusion. She was blind and and suffered from intermittant senile dementia . Much of her world was internal.

  • handyhippie65

    i still say devout religious belief is a mental disorder. and she is a perfect example of why.

    • Lamashtar

      You know, I read an article about some brain experiments, and everyone who was stimulated in one brain section felt a ‘comforting presence’. Some people thought an angel showed up and were upset when they took off the gizmo and there was nothing there. A scientist theorized that that section of the brain wasn’t because biology felt the need to make us feel like angels were in the room, but to help us as herd animals realize the existence of something other than ourselves and empathize with it.

    • So Dr MLK Jr was mentally disordered, whereas Joe Stalin wasn’t?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Stalin just lies on a different part of the spectrum…

      • handyhippie65

        did MLK seek to impose and inflict his religious belief upon others? i don’t think so. the modern devout christianists absolutely do. this article is about one such individual. i believe in religious liberty. as in the liberty of individuals to follow their own religious path, without the interference of the government, or other religious groups. that is not christianists definition of religious liberty. for them, it is the liberty to force others to live by their religious rules. THAT, i have a problem with.

      • jmk

        Dr. King didn’t demand than everyone think and believe as he instructed, the way that this woman and far too many public religious figures do.

        Also, when you think about it, in many ways, former theology student Joe Stalin was actually very religious – he was just a lot more blatant about substituting himself for a deity than most preachers are.

      • Frank Underboob

        If you can’t figure out what’s wrong with your statement yourself, I’m kind of at a loss as to how to explain it to you.
        TL;DR: Any time you feel the urge to tell non-consenting people about Gawd, shove your crucifix up your arse sideways & rotate it until the urge goes away.

  • Anarchy Pony

    So, she crucified a religious minority, when does she get hauled off for a hate crime?

    • Invidosa

      Oh come on, ever buddy knows it’s totally cool to hate us witches! We do after all fuck the Satan cock nightly while we sacrifice babbies and smear aborted fetuses on trees. Duh!

  • Serai 1

    Another fucking Christer who doesn’t give a shit what Jesus said.

    • jmk

      Only Buff Nordic Republican Jesus counts… and not only because he can get them a nice seat in White Republican Heaven, but because he was nice enough to help Evangelical Thomas Jefferson write the Constitution also too.

  • dshwa

    And she wonders why her son doesn’t want to spend mother’s day with her.

  • Michelle Gambrel

    “my room mate Lori Is getting paid on the internet 98$/hr”…..!ce454etwo days ago grey MacLaren P1 I bought after earning 18,512 DoIIars..it was my previous month’s payout..just a little over.17k DoIIars Last month..3-5 hours job a day…with weekly payouts..it’s realy the simplest. job I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months. ago. and now making over. hourly 87 DoIIars…Learn. More right Here !ce454e:➽:➽:➽➽➽➽ http://GlobalSuperJobsReportsEmploymentsManagementGetPayHourly$98…. .❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦:❖❖:❦❦::::::!ce454e….,..

  • bubbuhh

    For most of the uneducated, especially the bigoted, god bonking is the hokey pokey of life. In any case, it’s better for America that they express their poison by exercising their 1st amendment rights than what they believe is their second amendment rights.

    Shoot from the lip, not from the hip.

  • VirginiaLady

    So that’s what happened to last years Easter decorations! I worked my hot glue gun long and hard to get Mr. Fluffy bunny stuck to those 2 x 4’s. He was the hit of the egg hunt. Then overnight he was stolen from my yard. Good thing she didn’t like my dead Easter squirrel has risen display this year. I think it’s still out there….

  • Invidosa

    “did the Easter Bunny die for your sins?”

    *Puts on teacher glasses and pins hair into a bun*

    Well, no. . . Because the Easter Bunny and his eggs are a modern interpretation of pagan fertility symbols commonly associated with the modern pagan holiday of Ostara, which is generally held to be analogous to the ancient fertility rites that would have been coincidntally held right around the same time as the Christian Easter. Now, thing is, generally speaking pagans as a whole tend to reject the concept of sin and instead embrace a morality model that relies and balance and consent, therefore the idea that a fertility symbol would for some unknown reason commit suicide in order to somehow pay for the sins we don’t believe exist is patently ridiculous.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Excellent post!

      Now, for the best part…take off your teacher glasses and let your hair down… BOW CHICKA BOW

      • Invidosa

        Is it cool if i punish naughty “students” afterwards? Cause then I’m all game on! I’ll wear a tweed skirt and everything ;)

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Many a bunny has died for my dinner, though,

  • Pugsandcoffee

    What would Jesus do? YOUR MOM AMIRITE LADIES

Previous articlePJ O’Rourke Hopes To Do For Donald Trump What He Did To National Lampoon
Next articleLondon Has A New Muslim Mayor, And The Stupidest Man On The Internet Is ON IT!