SHARE
Little Photoshop of Horrors
Little Photoshop of Horrors

If you’ve haunted the Interwebs regularly, you’ve probably already seen Los Angeles artist Illma Gore’s now-infamous painting of a nude Donald Trump as a would-be emperor (and a less than impressively endowed one, at that) with no clothes on at all. The image went viral not long after Gore posted her portrait of the short-dingered vulgarian to Twitter in February. You may have already been traumatized by happening upon the painting in a comments section near you, but for the purposes of not getting in Dutch with the Google Gods, we’ve bowdlerized the image by putting Donald in a tasteful pair of Wonkette vagina dentata panties, available, sans Trump, here. Ms. Gore’s artist’s statement for the painting is short and to the point: “Because no matter what is in your pants, you can still be a big prick.”

Prepare to be astonished: The artist has been threatened with a lawsuit from Trump’s legal team.

The artwork, titled “Make America Great Again,” is on display in the Maddox Gallery in Mayfair, London, and has attracted bids of over £100,000 ($141,770 in real money). Trump’s people, who apparently only approve of depictions which stroke the boss’s ego and other things, don’t seem to consider it a masturpiece, however.

Gore said Trump’s legal team has tried stripping away her artistic freedom. She said his lawyers have called her twice threatening lawsuits over the hateful huckster’s right of publicity.

She said Facebook, too, has warned of legal action under for copyright violation under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Gore also accused the site, as well as eBay and Twitter, of censoring some posts of the painting.

Yr Wonkette is not a lawyer, but we’d say it’s fairly obvious that, as a public figure, Trump has little chance — not even the smallest nubbin — for legal action, at least in the U.S., since the First Amendment supports the right to parody, especially of a public figure. “Right of publicity”? No idea — we know that celebrities and their estates have control over how their images are used in ads, but it’s not like Gore’s using the image to sell Vienna sausages or jujubes. British libel law is notoriously more plaintiff-friendly than American law, but we have no earthly idea how it applies to satirical images, as opposed to journalism. That’s the rub, isn’t it?

Ms. Gore said that besides the legal warnings, she’s also been treated to “threats of rape” and “detailed death threats” as well as stalkers visiting her home. All part of the political process after all. And yes, your Wonkette betting pool offers even odds that some Trump wanker will pop up (so to speak) in the comments to make a witty comment about how liberals are just fine with death threats against artists who depict Mohammed (which we aren’t, anyway).

Even so, Illma Gore vows to bravely soldier on in the trenches of satire, telling the New York Daily News she’ll unveil a new painting, also inspired by the presidential campaign, sometime next week, although she offered no hints as to its subject, saying only “I’d ruin it if I told you now!”

It better not be a picture of Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) as Dudley Do-Right. We already did that one.

The fight for TRUTH never ends

[NYDN]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Mpeg

    Wonkette Yappy Panties FTW!!1!

    OMFG, I cannot UN-see that image…

  • Swampay

    Just fill out the form, Mr. Drumpf

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      OT. Too bad.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Trick question. It’s a trap!

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …FYI, I just stole this!

  • Run2Live

    He’s obviously a grower, not a shower.

    • SnarkTank

      Sadly, no.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    JESUS CHRIST! CAN WE HAVE ONE FUCKING DAY WITHOUT MIDDLE AGED WHITE PERSON PEEN ON THIS SITE?

    • JVisconti

      You’re gonna love the Denny Hastert expos’e

  • Tony Alexander

    there went breakfast!

  • Arse Grammatica

    If I saw that in a restroom it would offend my religious freedom. Also I might barf.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …so Trump is very sensitive about his “toddler penis”?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      You flatter him.

    • MrBlobfish

      He has an innie, not an outtie.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        That’s why his gut is so huge. Ingrown cock.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …so he actually has 12 inch penis, it’s just inverted?

  • beatbort

    What’s he complaining about? It’s a flattering likeness

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I would call that a “clitoris” but I wouldn’t want to insult any female Wonkers

    • YoBunnyBunny

      No, ABG… you wouldn’t…

    • beingreleased

      Are you being politically correct like a common librul?

      • Pickwicknext

        No. Just smart. Very, very smart

    • JVisconti

      You found it? Where?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …you gotta squint

        • BigBoppa

          Speaking of squinting Trump fan boys….

  • Scooby

    Check out Hustler v. Fallwell 485 U.S. 46. 8-0 decision prohibiting public figures rights to damages for ntentional emotional distress. The rest of us that had to look at the Trump junk might still have a cause of action.

  • ViveLaRes

    I’m no art critic but the fingers are way too long.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump, at a speech yesterday (via The Guardian): “Because I was down there and I watched our police and firemen down at 7/11”. So THAT’S where he saw all the Muslims dancing in the street, with their Big Gulps.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      That’s funny because my brother-in-law the fireman was there and he said everything was closed that day. And the day after. And the day after that. Like Drumpf would have been within a mile of that place and risk getting schmutz on his nice suit.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Like Giuliani, just another grief vulture. Loves “New Yorkers” in the abstract, just not the ones who actually live and breathe and walk the streets, and who aren’t hedge fund managers.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I hear Trumpensteins nickname in college was “is it in yet”!

    I got penis jokes for days folks!!!

    • cousin itt

      “for days”?

      Then you may want to see your doctor.

      • BigBoppa

        Consult your doctor if your penis jokes last more than four hours.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …yeah, I just walk around with it. It’s actually pretty useful, I can use it to hold my I-Pad when I’m typing or hold the steering wheel when my arm gets tired.

  • JVisconti

    Welcome to politics Donald, where erections have consequences.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Make America Engorged Again!

    • Pickwicknext

      Still wouldn’t be able to see it!

  • WIDTAP

    Trump camel toe?

    • BigBoppa

      IDK. Do camels have pinky toes?

  • Belasaurius

    can Wonkette make boxers with that image? I would gladly buy some

  • MrBlobfish

    Men Trump Don’t Need Viagra if They Do This (Once Daily) ‘Kills’ ED

  • goonemeritus

    Isn’t the systematic contempt civilized people show vulgar hate filled charlatans just another form of bigotry?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The soft bigotry of low expectations, or the other way around.

    • Lamashtar

      The Donald worked his entire life to achieve this kind of recognition.

  • Creepoman

    You guys – the water was cold!

    • ViveLaRes

      Button on a Fur Coat libelz !!!1111!

    • SnarkOff

      Shrinkage

    • kindness

      Don’t blame the turtles for the lack of any factor there.

  • I think of Ted Cruz as more of a Helen Lovejoy.

    • Pickwicknext

      Helen is much cooler

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …how long do you guys think it took the doctor to tell his mother “it’s a boy”?

    • Pickwicknext

      Still waiting on the “human” determination

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …still on the fence about Ted Cruz.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Congratulations, it’s….alive.”

        • Pickwicknext

          Kill it with fire!

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …hello ma’am. I’m not sure if anyone has spoken to you about the “fourth” trimester abortions that our facility offers.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …would you like to donate it to science?

          • Blank Ron

            Christ, no, keep it away from us!
            – scientists everywhere

    • JVisconti

      sometimes a simple Congratulations is appropriate.

    • MrBlobfish

      The doctor slapped her.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “Doctor, can anything be done?”

      “I’m sorry, ma’am, nature can be cruel.”

      “There must be something! Anything! We have loads of money!”

      “Well… There is a very questionable option. Look, this is highly unusual. Before I say anything… we aren’t having this conversation, do you follow me? Are we clear?”

      “Yes, doctor. Of course.”

      “You’ve heard of Chinese foot binding? Okay. If, someone were to, say, bind his hands, like Chinese girls’ feet. Growth would be stunted. Yes? And so instead of being confronted with a bitten-off pencil eraser lost in a catcher’s mitt every time he pees, there’s a chance this young man might at least feel almost adequate. A chance, mind you. “

  • beingreleased

    Please tell me that a libel trial won’t require Trump to show the court that the picture is inaccurate.

    • LesBontemps

      Unfortunately, truth is a complete defense to libel.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      The judge’s gavel will come in handy. A quick thwack to the temple just might erase the short-term memory.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump’s supporters are scary idiots. I’m surprised he doesn’t sell brown shirts on his campaign’s website.

  • SnarkOff

    Famewhore artist paints insulting image of famewhore political candidate, predictable lawsuit ensues, artist gets all the publicity she ever dreamed of.

    • jmhm

      I don’t know how badly she wants to be famous, but she certainly puts more effort into what she posts to the internet for attention than most of us do. That has to count for something.

      • SnarkOff

        In art, fame = $$, so, yeah.

        • glennisw

          I see. You only approve of artists who don’t show their work. Carry on.

          • SnarkOff

            Not what I said, not what I meant, go pick a fight elsewhere.

  • cousin itt

    But Donald sure has purdy lips.

  • MrBlobfish

    Digital Millennium Copyright Act? Damn kids gotta ruin everything.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Free the nipple pickle!

  • Run2Live

    Typical Trump. Threaten a lawsuit and amplify the embarrassment.

    • Pickwicknext

      Objection! Implies Drumf can “feel” “shame”

    • SullivanSt

      It’s almost as if they never taught the Streisand Effect at Wharton’s Remedial School for Legacy Vulgarians.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      If I were that orangutan I’d sue.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But he’s showing us that he’s STRONG by threatening to do shit that he can’t really do actually…

  • Cismontane

    Clearly, all would-be tinpot despots need to protected against the depredations of free speech, because they protect us from The Enemy and a reprise of their deadly
    “7/11” attack on America.

    • ViveLaRes

      Which they helped clean up after.

  • ViveLaRes

    How are we supposed to have serious political intercourse discourse when we get hung up on these tiny trivial issues?

  • Joy

    Trump tower.. ? I hope melanoma has a good vibrator.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Anyone else thinking Trump would be much happier running for President of Turkey?

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Short-dingered vulgarian.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Short-dingered vulgarian!

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      I’m gonna go get the papers get the papers.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You can say that again!

      • JH Marx

        Short-dingered vulgarian!

  • Msmlg1979

    Wow. If he was secure, he would laugh this off. This is like putting a blinking neon sign over his head, confirming his insecurity. Damn, he’s sad. I will say though, penis size is an issue taken faaaaar too seriously, by far too many. Your dick is not the be-all and end-all of your existence, boys!

    • Suttree

      Something something motion of the ocean.

    • cousin itt

      He fell right into Gore’s trap. All bullies have their weaknesses and ultimately can be easily outwitted.

    • Brother Yam

      Oh sure, now you tell us!

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …true! As a former collegiate football player I can tell you that anyone that takes “penis jokes” that seriously has some serious issues. The absolute best response I ever heard in a locker room from a guy that was getting killed for his penis size was: “Your girlfriend doesn’t seem to mind”! It literally culminated in a 5 man brawl.

      • Msmlg1979

        Thank you! I think the male obsession with size, be it genitals, height, whatever..is ridiculous. I feel bad for men who have to live under these unrealistic standards, just like us women, and all the unattainable traits the world tries to force on us. Of course, men set that system up, but it’s not the fault of all men today.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …I blame Obama

          • Msmlg1979

            I blame time-traveling, ball-busting Hillary!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I blame them both.

        • shastakoala

          I blame the zoom lens.

        • Courser

          I dated a guy for about 6 months who was really hung up about his penis. He was also very butthurt that he’d been circumcised as an infant. We broke up, partly because of that huge hangup (sorry NOT meant as a pun).

          His penis was totally normal (hence not incredibly memorable).

          • Msmlg1979

            I’ve had similar experiences. One in particular because I had dated a black guy prior to him. Oh. My. God. The crazy. Ironically, white guy had the bigger penis. But when you aren’t confident, believe ridiculous stereotypes, and you’re taking your insecurities out on me, you ruin things.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            The ex was black and his was on the smaller side of average, which really, really fucked with his head which, of course, he took out on me.

          • Msmlg1979

            Show me who was mean to you, lady! Not OK!

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Oh, hey, I got the better end of that deal. I’m free and some day I will find a man who treats me right, and has skills to go with the package. The ex still has what he thinks is an inadequate peen and no game whatsoever. Winning!

          • Msmlg1979

            I still get to hate him! I know what you mean. I hope we both find the man we deserve.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Oh please do! He’s completely full of shit now that he’s in AA and he’s all shiny and new. Pile it high! And we will. With those eyes, you can’t lose.

          • Msmlg1979

            Ha! When everyone knows you can’t polish a turd!

            Thank you so much! I’m gonna believe that right up to the minute I die alone, and all the cats eat my muumuu covered body. ;)

          • Cindyinencinitas

            I’m sure it’s a lovely muumuu, Mrs. Roper. I have one, too! See you in hell! I’ll bring the marshmallows. ;)

          • Ionlylikecats

            That’s weird. My SO isn’t very confident (I’ve been trying to improve this) but he’d never take it out on me.

          • Msmlg1979

            Different people handle their insecurity different ways. Some people internalize, some externalize. I hope he finds confidence. He found a cool woman to spend time with, didn’t he? He should feel good about that. ;)

          • Ionlylikecats

            I wouldn’t say cool but thanks, me too! He’s pretty great himself :)

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …meh, some stereotypes are true my friend

            ETA: there goes some of that testosterone laced commenting.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …as a male, if ur still worrying about ur dick size after the age of 18 then you should see a therapist. Circumcised or not

    • beingreleased

      If he was secure, he wouldn’t be running for president. The whole thing is about getting people to tell him how great he is.

      • Blank Ron

        Pretty sure he’s maxed out those numbers by now.

  • Creepoman

    It appears Trump’s gender transition is proceeding apace.

  • cousin itt

    It’s an unusual way to canvass for votes but it might just work in Florida and other benighted regions.

  • chicken thief

    Whoa. I love jujubees. Does that make me gay?!

    • Pickwicknext

      Not that.

    • MrBlobfish

      I call BS. No one loves jujubees.

      • Hutch

        Well, they are amazingly effective filling removers.

        • Paul

          I was gonna’ reply “Except dentists”. Consider this a few extra upfists.

      • Boscoe

        If the manufacturers of Sno-Balls, Circus Peanuts and Candy Corn still haven’t been driven out of business, I can believe anything.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Why eat jujubes when there’s gummy bears? Jujubes are just hard little flavorless pellets of sad.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      If it came out of a box, you’re ok.
      If it came out of a pair of Wonkpanties? I may have some … news.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Trump has little chance — not even the smallest nubbin — for legal action….

    ISWDDT

    Is Trump also going to sue this guy’s leg?

    http://motherboard.vice.com/read/trump-baby-dick-tattoo?utm_source=mbtwitter

    • LesBontemps

      I was going to say “WTF is wrong with people,” but then I saw “Florida man” in the headline so of course.

  • Tallmutha

    Obama started it, by suing all the artists who depicted him with a bone in his nose, eating watermelon, etc.

    • nightmoth

      Thank you. If Trump were able to get any kind of legal support out of this, I have some people I will immediately sue, as a loyal Obama supporter who was traumatized and had my blood pressure raised due to those pictures.
      Edit: Don’t forget Michelle as a gorilla. I’m getting mad all over again.

  • SullivanSt

    Yeah, even the UK has paparazzi, so no, there’s absolutely no hint of anything remotely approaching merit behind Drumpf’s reflexive threat to sue.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Is it me, or are his lawyers as bombastic and as knowledgeable about the law as Trump is about policy?

    • MrBlobfish

      If Trump sez “sue”, you sue.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        We have clients like that here and we tell them the facts and law are not on their side but we’ll do our best and we sue and we lose and then they refuse to pay us, so it’s a double-edged sword to represent people like that.

        • Lamashtar

          They don’t pay as you go? My lawyer makes me pay half up front.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            When the case takes years, the firm can get behind in its collections from a client they are trying to maintain a positive working relationship with.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Would you refuse to take Trump’s money if all you had to do was write bogus legal threats?

      • Ryan Denniston

        And stroke his, errr, ego?

    • LesBontemps

      It only takes 400 ameros to file a complaint in federal District Court. Even if its legal theory is crap, it’s still a pain in the ass to have to hire a lawyer and do the motion to dismiss. And that’s pretty much the entire point.

      • SullivanSt

        And of course motions to dismiss are a massive longshot in Federal libel cases where the plaintiffs don’t have to specify exactly which part of a statement they deem to be libelous until they actually go to trial – i.e. after motions to dismiss would be brought. This is of course why we really need a federal anti-SLAPP act (especially in light of the DC Circuit ruling that the DC anti-SLAPP law doesn’t apply in diversity jurisdiction cases)

    • nmmagyar

      Billable hours baby, billable hours.

  • Steven M. Harries

    I’d be pissed too if I were Trump. The artist didn’t visually offer up what The Donald once proffered to both Roy Cohn and Roger Stone.

  • Run2Live

    In 2012, The Onion posted a classic article conveying the downright surgical detail with which GOP presidential frontrunner Donald Trump inspects his own shriveled manhood after taking a shower.

    According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.

    “God, look at this thing,” said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. “Pitiful.”

    • Antimassacree

      Sad!

  • Antimassacree

    Trump should be grateful she didn’t also depict his pate realistically.

  • Stein Olsen

    Come on Wonkette. Why won’t you show Donald’s little spank monkey?

    • Pickwicknext

      They love us today?

    • Run2Live

      • Stein Olsen

        I’ve been spreading it like crazy. I was wondering why Wonkette did the censor thingy.

        • marxalot

          Because it;s not even NOON yet. Great cats, people, some of us are still negotiating breakfast.

          • Stein Olsen

            Ah yes of course. Apologizes.

        • doktorzoom

          Because unlike regular folks on the interwebs, we don’t want to get Googlebanned. Sad but true: Ad revenue matters.

          • cousin itt

            And yet the grotesqueries of clickbait actually make money?

          • PubOption

            OT, but that was an impressive display of puns in your article.

          • SterWonk

            Wait, I thought you were already on the Google blacklist? (As a “hate group” or somesuch? For something that happened two owners ago?)

          • doktorzoom

            We finally got back in their good graces, more or less.

          • SterWonk

            Huzzah!

          • Boscoe

            I assumed it was because you really, really cared about us.

    • cousin itt

      It’s behind bars in the Bronx Zoo?

    • baconzgood

      I’d rather they didnt.

    • Msmlg1979

      I wouldn’t want to see it if it were 10 inches of solid gold, diamond-studded perfection, guaranteed to provide the greatest pleasure a woman has ever know. Fucking gross!!

    • Cindyinencinitas

      It’s there on his head!

  • Ryan Denniston

    I’m sticking with the classic in this space.

    • Run2Live

      Cosplay?

    • natoslug

    • nmmagyar

      Needs more SS uniform

  • marxalot

    I woke up this morning feeling wobbly- that didn’t help. Back under the desk I go. Send Gatorade.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Wobbly, huh? I call mine Old Sleepyhead.

  • Hutch

    I googled the original painting and thought, “Hey, I know that guy!”

    What an embarrassing night that was. I can only be so generous.

    • Lamashtar

      Eh. The smallest guy I know was the best I ever had with his mouth.

  • tehbaddr

    Thanks for at least covering up his tiny little vulgar dangle.

  • ViveLaRes

    For some disturbing reason I was reminded of this…

    • The Wanderer

      Well, that’s three minutes of my life I won’t get back. Fortunately, all three minutes involved laughing.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Life models have been around since art was invented. I can’t work out why this particular example is so disturbing compared with all the others. It’s not the willy, it’s the whole picture, it just engenders a real and visceral revulsion. I guess that makes it great art!

  • Stein Olsen

    He didn’t sue me when I made this. I am disappoint.

    http://i.imgur.com/qNYgcwE.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/CnFxUfl.jpg

    • BearGHAZI

      I also was not paid $100,000 for this…. too on the nose?

      • Stein Olsen

        Actually for an artist it’s more a badge of honor getting sued over your work. That means it struck a nerve. Getting paid is all well and good, but it’s really only a perk.

      • Boscoe

        He obviously liked yours. ;P

  • chicken thief

    Maybe he is suing because it is too flattering?

  • laughingnome

    It will take more than one weird trick to cure that.

  • Vincent Ricola

    While I’m a fan of controversial artists and making fun of Trump for having the smallest wang to have ever wanged, I’m a little concerned that someone is willing to pay over $100,000 to have a nudie Trump hanging over their office fireplace.

    • Scooby

      Or even worse…above their bed!

    • Rick Hill

      They set it in the alley to keep the homeless from peeing there

      • Relativicus

        Here’s another one. I can’t stop laughing. 1 ^

    • Relativicus

      Maybe it’s for the right to burn it, burn it with fire?

    • goonemeritus

      Hung in a dining room the whole family will lose weight.

      • nmmagyar

        Oprah may have bought it for a Weight Watchers (or Jenny Craig, too lazy to look up which one she bought) campaign

    • Boscoe

      I’m sure it’s intended as a gag gift. LITERALLY.

  • baconzgood

    Is there any way I can unsee that?

    • AmyHerrmann

      No. I’ve been trying for months. Hasn’t worked yet.

  • Steven M. Harries

    Braindead Larry Flynt once put a similar nude of Walter Mondale on the cover of Hustler magazine when he was running against Reagan. I don’t expect much from a Larry Flynt, but why the fuck would he enable a Republican in any way whatsoever???

  • Jenny

    Maybe he is so mad because he’s a grower? Even his wives said so!

  • NoGoodnik

    I feel obligated to interject here. You know that many men have small penises and that having a small penis is not a comment on the rest of your abilities and skills as a human being. When you shame Drumpf for his small penis, you are essentially body shaming him and all other men who feel that the size of their penis is inadequate.

    On the other hand, it is funny, but then again so are many racist, sexist, and homophobic jokes.

    All of that said, I would further like to point out that the average penis size, erect, is four to six inches. Only five out of a hundred men will have an erection larger than that and five will have an erection smaller than that.

    That is all. Carry on.

    • Msmlg1979

      Agreed..1,000 times over.

    • Joe Beese

      Helen Gurley Brown’s husband David was talking about the loss of erectile potency with age rather than genital size, but his words apply here as well. “If you reach manhood without having learned how to pleasure a woman without using your penis, you haven’t been paying attention.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Huh? Whaaa…?

      • The Wanderer

        In my youth I studied under the Great Fukkmeisters, one of whom was Master Won Fut Tung.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Some of the guys I have been with refused to admit they were not sexual experts; therefore, they were entirely unable to accept any of my guidance/requests/suggestions about what I liked and wanted. Consequently, with a couple of notable exceptions, the best sex I had was with virgins. When clothes come off, the ego should come off, too.

    • natoslug

      Penises are not usually a subject I explore, but stating it as you have, I can see advantages to an average or smaller erect penis. I’d imagine far fewer women would emphatically state that there’s no way that is going in them if you are on the smaller side of the bell(end) curve.

      • Msmlg1979

        I would say it boils down to ladies would rather sleep with men who project confidence in their ability to pleasure them, and have realized penises are only a small part of that pleasure. Insecure men come with a great number of problems that can just be annoying, or downright dangerous.

        • natoslug

          If the penis is the only good part of the man, I’d imagine a vibrator would be a hell of a lot simpler and less costly (emotionally, fiscally, physically) to deal with. Heck, even if the penis isn’t the only good part, my wife says her vibrators are still pretty stiff competition.

          • Msmlg1979

            If sex toys fulfilled all my needs, I would have left men behind years ago. There is no substitute for a man. Unfortunately. Bless my straight girl heart.

          • Boscoe

          • Msmlg1979

            Fuckity fuck!!

        • Courser

          Exactly. Quite frankly, I’ve dated a small number of guys and I can tell you that I’m not sure I could match peen to guy If shown pictures of the peens.

          For me, the peen is not the most important part. All it has to do is work which is pretty binary Y/N. The guy’s brain is the far more important contribution.

          • Msmlg1979

            Right. A man can be gorgeous and hung, but if he opens his mouth, and out comes a giant mansplaning douchebro, a bigot, hopelessly stupid, boring, etc..just no. I appreciate a good-looking man and a nice package, but that stuff is boring, useless, and empty for me without brains, personality, humor, kindness, and investment in my pleasure. And a big ol’ dick is NOT a sexual skill or guarantee of a good sexual experience.

    • AmyHerrmann

      I would normally agree with you, if it weren’t so obvious that nearly everything The Donald does is to compensate for his dick size.

    • BearGHAZI

      All of this is true. But sweet nonexistent christ, did the man bring down this type of ridicule on himself

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Considering my history, I am feeling like a lucky, lucky girl.

    • richardgrabman

      Larger than average is not a comment on the rest of one’s skills and abilities either. In some situations, it’s a handicap (and, no, I’m not giving details).

  • Scooby

    Has Ivanka confirmed that this is a parody peen?

  • Relativicus

    “It’s truly a masterpiece. Note how the perspective lines draw the eye right to his dong…”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Wherever you stand in the room, it seems to looking at you.

    • BigBoppa

      You call that a dong? THIS is a dong.
      ~ Johnny (Wadd) Holmes

  • Gristle McThornbody

    Oh sure! He manscapes his nether regions but lets the 147 hairs on his head grow out long enough to fold and swoop and glue in place.

    • nmmagyar

      He might be bald down there as well

    • Boscoe

      Soon he will be able to 3D print his helmets. So convenient!

      • Gristle McThornbody

        I think ISWYDT, but the image is so disturbing that I’m trying not to think about it.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I think the late (painter not Sir) Francis Bacon was more anatomically accurate.

    • Pickwicknext

      Has anyone taken the pants off the guy who had himself taxidermied and now lives at Oxford?

      • The Wanderer

        That’d be Jeremy Bentham, and I don’t know.

        • Pickwicknext

          Thanks! I couldn’t remember who it was and was too lazy to google. Also, google is flashing me cake doodles today, so it’s making me hungry

      • richardgrabman

        He’s at the London School of Economics, not Oxford. And apparently, it’s only his head and hands. The rest is just a skeleton.

  • anwisok

    Considering how litigious he has been in the past, does this actually surprise anyone?

    • Relativicus

      I am surprised. I figured he’d have moved passed litigation into contract killings by this stage.

      • anwisok

        He would, but he’s afraid of moving into Hillary’s territory.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Not really. Next, I expect him to sue 7-Eleven Inc. for making him appear silly.

    • AmyHerrmann

      No. Not in the least. That’s his answer for everything.

  • Relativicus

    “Short-dingered vulgarian” and “[it’s not like she’s selling] Vienna sausages or jujubes.”

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    “I guess you could call that a dick.”

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2bl7U4CQ_nM

  • Scooby

    Where’s Il Braghettone when we really need him?

  • “I don’t like your art, you should die” doesn’t really seem like valid criticism to me… I know I’ve never received death (or rape, but I’m male so that would probably never apply anyway…) threats when I’ve written a particularly terrible song (and I’ve written many…)

    • Msmlg1979

      It’s standard practice to go right to death/rape threats when a woman does anything you don’t agree with. One of the many signs there is absolutely no need for feminism, we are totally equal, and should probably shut our hateful mouths, before someone violently attacks us.

      • artem1s

        and never, ever go near alcohol, cause if you do, you totally deserve everything that happens to you.

        • Msmlg1979

          And for fuck’s sake, don’t ever have fun, call attention to yourself, go..come to think of it, just having a dirty, sinful, provocative woman body is asking for it. How dare we make some men unable to control themselves?!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            How dare we make some men unable to control themselves?

            The basis of the Saudi Arabian legal system.

          • Boscoe

            “And that’s why everything is just SO great there! Why can’t we be more like the Saudis?” – The GOP (when they’re not fapping to fantasies of Republican President-Elect Putin and controlling the internets China-stylee)

          • Fun with Cthulhu

            Also the Duggars…

        • BearGHAZI

          You sound like you’re probably a coed

          • Celtic_Gnome

            After seeing the segment about Kasich’s condescension on Rachel Maddow, I finally went to Wikipedia to see how old he is. The fucker’s two years older than me, and he still calls female college students coeds? I call them women.

        • Jennaratrix

          And also, too, don’t wear a short skirt and heels, it just means you WANT to be violently assaulted.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        But if one is only feeling a little peevish, calling a woman fat is the opening salvo.

        • Msmlg1979

          So true! Hitting on her one minute, gets rejected, suddenly she’s an unlovable pig. Ain’t it grand?

          • Lamashtar

            ~Telling women whether or not you want to have sex with them is just old-fashioned chivalry.~

          • Msmlg1979

            Just like opening a door, or explaining things her lady-brain simply can’t understand, slowly and with small words. Thanks guys!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Drumpfenproletariat goes straight to rape/death threats when anyone disses The Donald. It’s what they do.

  • The Wanderer

    Jesus creeping shit, do you have to trot that damned thing out when I’m having lunch?

    • If you’re having cocktail weenies, it shouldn’t bother you that much.

  • hollydturner

    Where can I get me a pair of them underpants? Are they approved by them Mormans and is that why he’s a warin’ em?

  • cousin itt

    It’s an itsy-bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot linguine.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    ♪ My dik is a Harley, you kick it to start ♪

    I was going to post the Mothers ‘Bwana Dik’ but I didn’t want you all to think less of me…if that’s even possible.

    • Boscoe

      Do you even know where you are???
      Here, have the whole show…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDRUvpDmsyQ

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Welcome to the cellar, comrade.

    • Paul

      No, me Bwana Dik!

      Screw it, post it for the cultural value alone. Who truly cares what we think?
      Hell, I posted Warren Zevon’s “Excitable Boy” last week..Nobody died. Here at Wonkette anyway. Poor little Susie is another matter altogether.

  • AnOuthouse

    Can’t he just buy it and prohibit the image’s use anywhere else?

    • Apple Scruff

      Then he’d have to actually spend money.

      • Pickwicknext

        Declaring bankruptcy at it didn’t work?

      • richardgrabman

        And lose the PR value?

    • nmmagyar

      She’d just have to photograph it before the sale and the rights to the photograph would be hers. I think.

  • shastakoala

    “Little Photoshop of Horrors” or Suddenly Seemore?

    • LesBontemps

      Really, I’m fine with seeing less.

      • nmmagyar

        None would also be appropriate. And welcome.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Trump to Gore: “It’s my penis and I’ll sue if I want to…. you would sue too if it happened to you.”

  • Hutch

    Now that I’ve seen the unretouched picture, EVERY image of The Donald is even funnier. Even headshots:

    • The Wanderer

      Dramatic Guinea Pig!

      • Hutch

        Six more weeks of winter!

        • eddi

          Seven more months of elections!

    • Boscoe

      Woah! The giant dump that beaver is taking looks exactly like Trump! Amazing!!

    • wurman

      Hey, a veterinary surgeon said he could remove this ugly growth from my ass.

  • Notreelyhelping

    You can see how his feelings might be bruised: the only reason anyone would want to touch that (referring to the original painting) would be if worked as a mute button.

  • Randy Riddle

    The artist drew the hands and fingers too large.

  • chicken thief

    Didn’t the Greeks associate big peens with ‘the ghey’? If so, the artist is portraying The Donald in the most manly macho hetero means possible.

    • Greeks (and Romans) saw large shlongledangers as “unrefined” and barbaric. So, nice statues have a small package, the “savages” you kept as fuck slaves have a toga-snake as big as they like.

      • Lamashtar

        I’m suspicious at how large Poseidon always seems to be..

  • Randy Riddle
    • Stein Olsen

      Thank you. This is great.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      Never Forget. To pick me up a Slurpee on the way home

  • chicken thief

    I’m putting my money on the new painting being either Cruz paying his DC hooker or him boning a pillow while Heidi heats up the soup.

    • 3) Cruz with a dildo shaped like Donald Trump…

  • Jason M

    If the man had more than a flaccid candle wick down there, we’d have seen it by now, right?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      You know it. He’d find a way to release a “sex tape.”
      Dry heaves, nmmagyar?

      • brittany

        He’s having a prosthetic prop penis built for the production.
        It’ll be the greatest prosthetic prop penis ever, let me tell you…
        It’s gonna be YUGE!
        And he’s gonna make Mexico pay for it!

  • Delu

    Whatever happened to freedom of expression now Trumpians?

    • Stein Olsen

      Only apply for them see.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Trump’s gonna change that 1st amendment thing. He said so.

      Yeah, don’t think so.

      • nmmagyar

        Did anyone ‘splain to him that “religious conscious” exceptions are gone with the 1A?

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          He just wants to change the part where he gets to sue everybody for libel. lol

        • Lamashtar

          There need to be more religious rules saying we must make fun of people.

          • nmmagyar

            Catholicism and Judaism have that pretty well covered.

  • nmmagyar

    I have foiled your evil plot to make me hurl Wonkette. By fasting for a stupid medical test, but it still counts.

  • jwtukker

    Nope, sorry. Googled the picture. Tried binoculars. Then a microscope. Can’t find it. Are you sure it’s there?

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    It is Hillary and Bernie in a hottub time machine.

  • pstockholm

    Could go all the way to the Supreme Court. Trump v Gore, we know how that’s likely to turn out.

    • Amy!

      Well, he heard that the last time there was a Gore associated with a presidential election, going to the Supreme Court was the way to win.

    • But as the portrait demonstrates…well let’s just say there is unlikely to be a problem with “hanging chads” here.

  • Salvatore Napoli

    Hasn’t legal team stumbled onto that fake Campari ad . . . Jerry Falwell . . . Outhouse . . . First Time . . . Mother?

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    I was reading an interesting take on this last night, wherein the author suggested Trump either has to go with libel, and wip it out in court to prove that it is libel, or go with ownership, in which case he is admitting he is a dick.
    It was something like that, I was a bit tired, but it made me giggle.

    • Lamashtar

      Yeah, that won’t backfire..

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I wonder – if an artist painted an image of, say, a nude Bernie and his, ah, package was mighty and heroic – would Bernie sue? Probably not. Would it even be seen as libelous? Or just complimentary?

    Aaand… Any of you talented Wonkers good with a paintbrush?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    It would be nice if a judge dealt with this in an appropriate manner: sanctions for Drumpf’s “legal team” for wasting the time of the court. Then hauling in microdick himself and fining him one meeelion dollars for the halibut.

  • Vienna Woods

    Interesting interview this morning on NPR with the NY GOP chairman. He kept saying he wasn’t taking sides, but he musta said Trump’s name twenty times, and only spoke of “the other candidates” again and again. It became quite silly.

    • timpundit

      Last night, Maddow had a great story on how totally nutty the New York State republicants really are and how Trump is a perfect match for them.

      • jmk

        They ran Carl Palooka…ummmm… Paladino for governor, and even Drumpf has some trouble keeping up with ol’Carl in the racist, sexist, homophobic comment department.

        • timpundit

          Carl was standing right behind Drumpf at his speech last night. Bigots gotta stick together.

    • Right? It made me laugh out loud which was good b/c I was cleaning up cat barf.

  • Joshua Norton

    The fingers! Good gawd, the fingers!
    .

    • Hardly Ideal

      That’s one of the things that’s really bugged me about the Drumpf campaign. He keeps going on about how terrific and fantastic and great such and such is going to be without saying anything to back it up. And the worst part is that seemingly nobody outside of John Oliver lets him get away with it!

      • Odd Jørgensen

        seemingly nobody outside of John Oliver lets him get away with it!

        Nobody lets him get away with it? Surely you mean the opposite? No one is willing to call him out on it. Journamalisticism is dead.

        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          I think that’s what HI meant…but it does seem the R club spouts nonstop shite with little to no blowback.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            Damn cowards in the media needs to stop being sissies and do their damn job, ask the tough questions, and not let the pols gt away with deflections and outright lies. But they don`t, because they`re asceert they may not be allowed to access the fuckers if they do.

    • Skadi

      This cartoon actually made me feel sorry for Hypothetical John Roberts (which doesn’t happen often, let me tell ya).

  • Vienna Woods

    Dok, the puns. I am in awe.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Too bad for Trump she’s not in Chicago. When some smartass painted Mayor Harold Washington in women’s undies, a bunch of aldermen just swooped into the Art Institute and flat-out confiscated the painting.

  • Nockular cavity

    It’s true.

    This man has no dick.

    • Boscoe

      -well, that’s what I heard…

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Walter Peck libelz!!!!!11!!

      • brittany

        Technically, I think it’s Peter Venkman Libelz!!!!!

        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          D’oh! It’s been a while since I watched that. Great movie.

  • Mrs. Erma Gerd

    Microaggresion!

    • cheetojeebus

      This dick will not stand.

  • Toomush_Infer

    He does have Emperor blubber….

  • Playonwords

    Dok The article “Ted Cruz Agrees: Public Schools Don’t Love The Constitution Nearly Enough” is coming up error 404

    • doktorzoom

      it doesn’t exist yet — accidentally posted too soon, then unpublished. It will be back soon! Unfortunately, it went into some RSS feeds right away. It will soon be a reality.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Did they loan you the keys to Obama’s time machine? Can I have a ride?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Error 404 Penis Not Found

  • Toomush_Infer

    Thanks for the undies!…

    • eddi

      He would look sexier in a burqa.

  • Antimassacree

    This image could be of some use to Trump if he decided to market cocktail weenies.

  • Callyson

    Overcompensating much, TehRump?

  • Candy Apple

    Here comes karma in the form of the Streisand Effect, Donald.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Might be time to Google bomb him, right Santorum?

  • wurman

    Between now and the last few surgical procedures, which gender restroom will Der Trumpenfuehrer use in N. Carolina?

  • CJTX

    Oddly enough, I read a story yesterday wherein a GOP operative was suing Trump for $4M for defamation…(i’m too lazy to look it up). The comment from the Trump campaign said it was just “another frivolous lawsuit”. I about fell out of my chair. Seriously?!? The guy who threatens EVERYBODY with a lawsuit is complaining about a frivolous lawsuit…and then this story comes out. Truck Fump indeed.

  • TheBidenator

    The problem with the painting is the penis is too large and Trump isn’t fat enough….

    • Mimihaha

      Also the hands are too big.

  • TheBidenator

    Terrible. Liar. Obviously, I said look- I have a YOOOGE penis. It is terrific, just terrific. What a hater, I’m gonna sue her fat ass. I can’t stand a woman with a personality like that. People who lie about me, look it’s not a problem, folks it’s not a problem! I could have Ivan- Melania tell you all how fantastic I am. I make her call me daddy, beep, boop, bing. We just, this is terrible and it shows that America just doesn’t win anymore. Shame, shame.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      You’re worryingly good at that.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    You’ve got to hand it to Teh Donald. The rule of thumb is, most people don’t use the long arm of the law to finger their political opponents. Considering that his lawsuit would be hanging by its fingernails at best, he probably should have used more of a hands off approach to keep her at arm’s length, rather than try to crush her with an iron fist with such heavy handed tactics. Let’s keep our finger crossed that he’s overplayed his hand and that the court will be up in arms over his lawsuit.

  • Jared James

    A chance to talk about Hustler v Falwell with a room full of already borderline-anarchic teenagers?

    Be still, my civics-teaching heart.

    • brucej

      Hustler v Falwell means nothing in England, sadly. However, I expect that T’Rump’s lawyers won’t get very far there, either.

  • Artistic freedom! Tally ho!

    • Justno

      Exactly!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “…but we have no earthly idea how it applies to satirical images, as opposed to journalism…”
    Ahhh, but perhaps it’s not a satirical image. Perhaps trump is upset because the image too closely resembles reality.

  • greenie_61

    He’s got nuttin,’ literally & figuratively.

  • Kooolest G

    I’m sure Hillary will sue for this pic too, oh wait I forgot she’s not a thin-skinned, short-fingered cry-babby

  • Gleem-McShinez

    When no-talent Trumpanzees try retaliate by photomochorping Hillary’s face onto unflattering nude lady pix, they’ll end up half-chubbed and weirdly needing to talk to their mothers.

  • JustDon’tSayDittos

    “…using the image to sell Vienna sausages or jujubes.”
    Say! You know what ELSE we could sell with Nekkid Emperor Drumpf?

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      And brain bleach is already taken.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Touched a nerve.

  • Ergoetal

    Um, did you really have to use the adjective “tasteful?”
    Really?

  • SDGeoff

    I have to run back to Iceland Dude and his two blond buddies. Right now.
    Man, that was NASty to do that to us! thank jebus it’s happy hour in SoCal.

  • brittany

    Typical behavior for a parasite like Trump!

  • Peggy Ryan

    She made his hands way too big.

  • Buzz1313

    I read about the Digital Millennial Copyright Act and it made no sense to me at all. That said, I don’t see how an artist painting a picture like this and selling it violates this act. Anybody out there able to clarify? Thanks!

    • Justno

      I’m an artist. DCMA doesn’t apply at all. Facebook just sent a notification to her in response to a complaint. Trumps legal team alleged the reproduction of his image is in itself a copyright violation. It’s bullshit but it’s a necessary little thing for lawyers. It’s a nonsense thing that everyone knows is nonsense but it must be done.

      He’s a public figure and for a variety of reasons we artists get to use his likeness to express an opinion or idea. That’s why the Trump butt plug is ok and not a copyright violation. It’s a first amendment thing.

      The only odd thing is British law vs US law. The worst that could happen is the work may not be salable in the UK. That’s it. This is a US artist and there will be no legal impediment for a sale in the US.

      A professor of mine says all art is political.

      • Buzz1313

        Thanks for clearing that up!

  • Be Gin

    Has that little Spanish lady been touching up paintings again?

    This reminds me of “Beast Jesus” for some reason.

  • Be Gin

    This artist did a whole series of Hillary Clinton paintings a few years back. Some people found them distasteful. But I honestly believe the artist treated Ms. Clinton with love!

    Not so much love for drumpf though. Which indicates that this is a GREAT artist.

    10 thumbs up!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Someone is actually willing to pay $141,000 to hang that on their wall?

    • Java “Like the Coffee”

      Hopefully, it’s to take it out into a yard and shoot it.

      Wait. This is London. They’re going to take it out into the yard and try to make it apologize. Then they’ll probably shoot it.

  • handyhippie65

    he’s dudly do wrong. i really think the painting captures the real trump. whether anatomically correct, doesn’t matter.

  • I guess the pundits were right after all, and Trump can’t win the erection process

    • therblig

      there’s a vas deferens between him and clinton

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I feel for Ms. Gore, I really do. I reported a neighbor to the police for having an illegal rooster in his back yard, and he got a summons for peace disturbance, and he refuses to get rid of the rooster, and says if he loses the case in court he will sue me to recover his costs. Just as in Ms. Gore’s case, he doesn’t have the legal right to do that, but not having the legal right to do something has never stopped a moron before. Perhaps Ms. Gore could send me her painting, and I could send her the rooster??? That would confuse everyone.

    • therblig

      he sounds pretty cocksure

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very cute. I may quote you if I have to go to court.

  • Stein Olsen
  • BuckDunn

    A bigger man would have simply ignored the painting.

  • wicked smaaht Dude

    …..

  • Blanche Beecham

    Where is thumbkin,
    Where is thumbkin,
    Here I am,
    Here I am.

    Just runs thru my mind… also size matters.

Previous articleOh Noes Texas Might Vote To Secede! Whatever Shall We Do?
Next articleHey, Maybe Don’t Tell Gay Servers You Hope They Get Stoned (At Least Not With Rocks)