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This is America now basically
Gay unicorns welcome in Georgia and Louisiana.
In all the gross bad terrible news about anti-gay bills coming out of the South, there have been a few shining lights, specifically, three Southern governors who have decided NOT to be complete dicks. Two are Republicans and the other is a dirty down-home Democrat. Just last week we learned that South Carolina Republican Gov. Nikki Haley is not taking too kindly to the notion of an anti-gay “religious freedom” bill being passed in her state.

The other two governors are in the news today, so we are lumping them together into a happy nice time post, WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT.

Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal ain’t got no regrets, and by god, he’d veto that damn bill again!

Remember how Gov. Deal won the Smart Contest a few weeks back, by actually reading the bullshit “religious freedom” bill the Republican legislature sent him, and drawing penises on it with his veto pen? That was nice!

Now, Gov. Deal set himself down for an interview with the Atlanta Journal Constitution to let everybody know he’s seen what’s happened in North Carolina and Mississippi, he ain’t got no regrets, he’d veto that fucker again, and also YOLO!

I knew it was a divisive issue. […] The reality was that nothing that that bill sought to prevent was not already prevented by the current law of our state or of our federal government. […]

It’s always a difficult situation to make those judgment calls. I just wish people would look at it, as I said in the beginning, and take a very deep breath. It’s time to take another deep breath. I see what’s happening in North Carolina. I see what’s happening in Mississippi. And I would hope that many of the ones that are pushing for it would not want the state of Georgia to go through that kind of scenario.

When the newspaper asked if he’s glad he didn’t do what North Carolina and Mississippi have done, he said, “That’s a difficult situation, obviously,” which is an even more nicer Southern way of saying, “Bless their hearts.”

He also has a message for any Georgia Republicans who might get bees in their rectums and try to send the law back to him next year:

I don’t want to go through the same process all over again. I’ve made my position very clear. I tried to write a very thoughtful veto message. It expressed my concerns and it expressed my reasons for vetoing it. And those reasons won’t change in my mind.

Translation: Your bad law is D.O.A., you dumb assfucks, and I’ll veto it again, so don’t even try.

Let’s stomp on Bobby Jindal’s ‘legacy’ some more!

Now let’s take a ride down I-20 to good old Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where the new DEMOCRATIC governor, John Bel Edwards, is making good on his gay threats to make former Gov. Bobby Jindal very sad, by rescinding Jindal’s Fuck The Gays executive order, and officially replacing it with his own Make Love To The Gays order:

Gov. John Bel Edwards signed an executive order Wednesday barring state discrimination against gay Louisianans.

The order by Edwards … overturns an executive order advanced by his predecessor, Republican Bobby Jindal, protecting employers and agencies that wouldn’t serve members of the LGBT community.

Edwards called that rule “bad for business, tourism and the Louisiana economy” and said it did “nothing but divide our state … to serve a narrow political agenda.”

When Jindal issued his stupid order, the business community went apeshit, just like they did in Georgia and are now doing in Mississippi and North Carolina. While it’s not terribly surprising that Bel Edwards is doing this — he’s a Democrat after all — it’s good to see that, for the foreseeable future, Louisiana won’t be going down that dumbass path.

Because really, would Louisiana even exist without gay tourism dollars? (The answer is “Have you ever been to New Orleans during Southern Decadence or Mardi Gras or any of the other weeks of the year?”)

So hooray, there are three places in the South where it doesn’t currently suck that hard to be a gay-loving homosexual agenda-doer. (Though the fight in South Carolina is FAR from over.) So go to those places and spend all your moneys, you gays! Or just stay home and watch “RuPaul’s Drag Race” like you always do, we don’t care.

[Atlanta Journal Constitution / NBC via Towleroad]

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  • mrpuma2u

    Meanwhile in Tennessee, the republican ding-dangles have not extracted cranium from rectum, and are passing horrible laws due to the oxygen deprivation. Ugh, and furthermore WTF you flippin’ moronic stooges?

    • Creepoman

      Jinx!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Maybe the bill’s sponsor won’t be able to present it to the legislature since there’s the danger that there might be unsuspecting women in the area, and he’ll be barred entry.

  • Creepoman

    Looks like Tennessee’s governor is considering a throat-ramming veto and will join in on this hot, gay-loving threesome, also, too.

    • Land Shark

      So Tennessee’s bill is throbbing with the turgid power of the veto?

      • Creepoman

        Like a well-oiled, full-stroke piston.

  • Jay Vaughn

    State Rep. Virgin had the bestest plan for dealing with these “NO HOMO” laws, you can discriminate all you want but you have to advertise it.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That would put most of the bigots out business pretty quick, but it’s still discrimination. I think we did some legislating back in the 60’s to get rid of that kind of advertising.

      • thenearesthippie

        Ah yes, the good old days, back when America was great.

    • TheBidenator

      Wait, so Ben Shapiro is in the state house now?

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Loosianna must be getting dumber every decade. At least Huey Long built some roads and bridges and a fine institution of Higher Football. Bobby wanted to take that away from you.

    • Left Coast Tom

      At least they should get credit for not replacing Jindal with Diaper Boy (R).

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Jindal should be hunted down and fed to a pack of angry marmosets.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Marmosets are pickier eaters than that.

      • Logic of Color

        They don’t like indian food?

        • Shibusa

          My papadum told me: Don’t joke about Indian food.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I was going to say, “maybe they’re vegetarian?” but Bobby J is arguably a vegetable.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Senator not-so-Bright, yesterday, as reported by The State newspaper:

    The Upstate conservative told those at the hearing Wednesday he does not
    think transgender people are pedophiles. Instead, he said he is
    concerned grown men would violate young women in the restroom.

    WTF, moran?!?!??!?! If they aren’t pedophiles, why would they be “violat[in young women?” English, motherfucker! Learn what words mean!

    Read
    more here:
    http://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/politics-columns-blogs/the-buzz/article71540477.html#storylink=cp

    • limberrat

      We currently do not have police inside all bathrooms “protecting” women. There is nothing preventing a man from entering a woman’s restroom and violating a woman now.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Or nothing preventing said man from simply just waiting until women leave the restroom and violate them then. It’s not like the restroom is the last known frontier for sexual assault… I don’t think a sexual predator goes “DRAT!!” when a woman disappears into a bathroom.

      • That’s what I don’t get. Was it ever a crime for a person of one gender to use the opposite gender restroom? I remember always thinking it was kosher to use the women’s bathroom if the men’s bathroom was crowded or out of order as long as I was discreet about it.

        • nmmagyar

          I thought it was required to grab the genitals of everyone in any bathroom you entered. This explains the strange looks (and occasional phone numbers) I always get.

      • Boscoe

        Sure, but explain how that logic lets dipshits openly oppress LGBT…

        ;P

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Is violating a woman in the restroom suddenly A New Thing or something for sexual predators these days???

    • HanBarbara

      Well there’s the visceral “I don’t want my eight year old daughter to see a dude in the restroom” Well, how would she know unless you told her to peek under the stall? And wouldn’t it be even more confusing for your 8 year old son to see a transgendered man using the men’s restroom? If there’s anyone in real danger of assault, it’s that transgendered man.

    • Left Coast Tom

      My admittedly poor wingnut-to-English translator tells me not-so-Bright’s message is: “we have to discriminate against transgender people because we’re too stupid to find any other way to keep Mike Huckabee out of womens’ bathrooms”.

  • ManchuCandidate

    This will forever be known as a dark day in the War of Homosecksual Aggression. The Morons of the South will rise again (only to squashed by those who like money more than hate the ghey-hey let’s be realistic about this)

  • calliecallie

    It’s because Ellen threatened to buy his mansion and flip it for a profit.

  • Indiepalin

    The Mississippi law also allows local cable companies to ban TV shows considered too risque or offensive. Like re-runs of Mama’s Family.

    • Or the Duggar shows?

      • Indiepalin

        Mama’s Family was less a sitcom and more a documentary of a typical Mississippi family during the Reagan administration.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Or the Star Trek episode with the green chick, on account of the miscegenation.

      • I think she might have been why my favorite color was green.

      • The Wanderer

        Hot, slick, and verdant Orion slave girls. “How Green Was My Valley.”

        • chicken thief

          “As green as mine was big.”

          ~ Barbara Stanwych

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No, that was the one where Kirk and Uhura kissed. I don’t think they objected to Batgirl in green.

      • Damian L

        that der’s a new word on me.larnin’ good!

    • Jonny On Maui

      This is for the olds. Remember “Soap”? Wasn’t shown when I was in GA…

      • The Wanderer

        Well, Benson was the smartest guy there.

      • I loved that show, absolutely loved it.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        We had NYPD Blue in Columbus, but Toledo wasn’t allowed to watch because of all the nuditity.

  • Pickwicknext

    A non-eye gougingly gross story. Yay!!!

  • Msmlg1979

    Southern Decadence is best practiced all year long..

    • TheBidenator

      Describe for the class what Southern Decadence means to you….

      • Msmlg1979

        It means to do everything enjoyable as sinfully and self-indulgently as possible, consequences be damned!

        • TheBidenator

          Well that explains the diabetes epidemic…I have just one question for you, why doesn’t that translate into reading, wearing shoes or going to the dentist?

          • Msmlg1979

            Those functions aren’t programmed into our hive-mind. You know, the one that makes sure we all think the exact same way, because we’re Southern.

          • TheBidenator

            Well Jimmy cracked corn they should be! Did I mention you probably look rather fetching in your shoeless overalls with the single piece of straw dangling from your lip?

          • Msmlg1979

            It would really cut into our cousin-fucking and being racist time.

            Not as fetching as you with your Mormon backpack full of crazy, pedaling that bike like Moroni himself is after you.

          • TheBidenator

            Moroni only chases us when we play hide and go seek….come now, you totally understate yourself. I’ll bet your boobs look magnificent in overalls, I’m guessing that’s the Southern humility which ranks right up there with snake handling and family trees which do not fork…

          • nmmagyar

            Is Moroni the one that sneaks up your poop-chute unless you wear the right undies?

          • TheBidenator

            Probably, I heard some of the more ‘traditional’ Mormon guys have butt slits in their garments for some reason….I’m thinking probably it’s wishful thinking.

          • nmmagyar

            Mormonboyz dot com probably has the answer to that question. Allegedly.

          • Msmlg1979

            They are looking good in this giant muumuu, which really sets off the glistening lard mustache I’m sporting.

          • TheBidenator

            :Booooiing!: Is that Crisco on your lip, ma’am or did you just get through visiting me?

          • Msmlg1979

            Hold on, let me just take out my dentures..

          • TheBidenator

            Hah! You ought to leave them in and get yer good scooter out, we’re going to Golden Corral.

          • Msmlg1979

            Goddamn, you’re charmin’ and romantical! Next you’ll be holdin’ mah hand at the tractor-pull!

          • TheBidenator

            I may even giv u a promas wring at the Skynerd concert during “Free Bird”….

          • Msmlg1979

            I’m a-puttin’ the finishin’ touches on mah weddin’ as we speak. By weddin’ dress, I mean white muumuu with camo duct-tape ribbons and accents. I knew you was the one the first time I laid eyes on you, at the fambly reunion, when you was slickin’ back your mullet with bacon grease.

          • TheBidenator

            So kind of you to notice and there you were, Bible in one hand and grilled possum in the other, sat a spell. Made me some moonshine and let me wipe my hands on your good hand wipin’ dog, too. I was instantly smitten and thinking of “Cat Scratch Fever” by the world’s greatest patriotic, right thinkin’ musician. While driving home in my rusted out F-150 why I even squeezed a few rounds from my gun in a crowded neighborhood to celebrate.

          • Msmlg1979

            I promise to always save you the best pieces of whatever got hit by a car in front of the house that day…

          • TheBidenator

            It’s the Christian thing to do and I promise not to block your view with my luxurious mullet the next time we’re watching the “Blue Collar Comedy Tour”, too…I do so love Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy.

          • Boscoe

            GET A ROOM YOU TWO!!!1!

  • Scooby

    Call me when they accept the Medicaid expansion.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    I want to pass a law against Ted Cruz’s penis.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I don’t want to think about anything against Ted Cruz’s penis, even if it’s a law.

      • Painter of Goats

        Dildo! Oops, I mean Ditto!

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Not even a pillow?

        • SayItWithWookies

          Dammit — dammit to HELL!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      We should leave regulation of Ted Cruz’s penis to the privates sector.

    • TheBidenator

      So would Heidi Cruz….

    • Wouldn’t be easier to just outlaw Ted Cruz? It’s kind of difficult to tell where his penis ends and his face begins.

      • SayItWithWookies

        I think of ol’ Ted as a big asshole, a little penis and mostly taint.

        • Pam Hyland

          Ted Cruz: Mostly Taint

    • TheBidenator

      I think we need to go a step further ala Joseph Stalin and make it an “unperson”. Just remove any possibility of people even knowing it existed in the first place….

    • beingreleased

      If you outlawed Ted Cruz’s penis, Wonkette would have nothing to talk about.

      • natoslug

        I’m sure there are many things out there that would Trump Ted’s wee-one for conversational value, although some Palin comparison.

        • yyyaz

          Stop it, you’re making my dogs howl.

      • nmmagyar

        Trump’s anus-like mouth hole is an option

      • Left Coast Tom

        I’m sure Sarah Palin will open her mouth at some point, thereby ejecting The Donald’s alleged micro-penis.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Talk about your micro-misdemeanors.

    • dslindc

      I would sign it.

      The law, not the penis.

      • nmmagyar

        Would a really sharp fountain pen nib change your mind?

        • Courser

          Only if I can write something with lots of Ts to be crossed and I’s to be dotted! I may have to dot all my I’s very hard!!!

          • Grizz1y

            Maybe we can get Umbridge’s quill and make Rafael write “I will not be a Maple-Scented Poutine stuffed Punchy-Face.,” a few thousand times. Just tweak the spell a little so it scars his no-no place instead of the back of his head. (I refuse to write “Ted Cruz’s penis”[Oh fuck I wrote “Ted Cruz’s Penis{Help me someone I can’t stop writing “Ted Cruz’s Penis”}])…

  • SayItWithWookies

    I may never have said this before, but Yay for Louisiana. Wow, we really are through the looking glass now that gay marriage is legal in all fifty states and Antonin Scalia is — you know — retired to that bitter hatey place, lined with satin and probably accessorized with rosaries.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I too would like to piss on Piyush Jindals political grave!!!

    #WellPlayed

    • edith prickly

      Let me finish dancing on it first, pls.

      • Land Shark

        wear boots … they’ll be peeing on that grave for years to come.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …sorry, I ate some Chipolte last night so I had to drop a “loose deuce” as well

          • The Wanderer

            Gonna take a Trump, then?

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …a “Trump” is when you poop, piss and vomit at the same time, while screaming “Make America Great Again”!!!

          • TheBidenator

            But what about the mass pilgrimage to poop on Trump’s star on the Hollywood walk of fame?

          • Courser

            Oh yes! It can be called “Dump on Trump!!!”

            We’ll make bags o cash!!!

          • nmmagyar

            No masturbation? Seems lazy

          • yyyaz

            Don’t fergit to wipe your Ted.

          • nmmagyar

            So…Gaiters?

        • Boscoe

          Might as well just plant it in the sewer. More efficient that way and gives everyone a shot.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Making the obvious correct and decent choice, for most of us, that’s just another day. For a Southern Governor, it’s a praiseworthy moment of courage.

    The South, creating success by establishing a low bar, since Jamestown.

    • limberrat

      One day Pocahontas, they will make a movie about us. Where you will be a hot model instead of a 12 year old and I will be an Adonis voiced by a rugged anti-Semite. We engage in a love story instead of the ugly reality where I raped you and you are banished from your family and force to live with us goobers.

  • Mpeg

    Nice to see these states’ welcome wagons start to look *slightly* less like clown cars.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Yeah, Georgia and Louisiana have gone from “keep on walkin'” to “Glad you’re here — we need someone else to help push this thing.” But it’s still a step up.

  • TheBidenator

    Stomping on Bobby Jindal’s legacy should become a sport of some kind- how about, “Sink the Gooberfish”?

  • The Wanderer

    Ah, this post is like a breath of fresh air, a sweet perfume wafted over a bed of honeysuckle and lavender following the last two quivering lumps of putrescence. Thank you, Evan, thank you!

  • baconzgood

    I’m wondering how much this has to do with human rights vs money. The equation is 80% human rights vs 20% money? HAHAHAHAAAAA-Heee and tee-hee.

    The south never had an economy since slavery. Hell, Atlanta is thier most cosmopolitan city (the NYC of the south). And most of the people that visit Atlanta NEVER LEAVE THE AIRPORT. The south lives off the scraps off the North and West Coast. They don’t want to lose Coke and Delta. If it was a human rights issue and the south had money you will these governors singing a different tune. In fact Baconz friend moved to Mobile to get a job over a more qualified southern because his (now boss said) I prefer hiring Yankees. You aren’t as lazy as us southerners and complain less about the heat, plus you always show up for work at 8 AM sober.

    Sorry, I’m just mad about the south and hate them so much….plus I’ve had more than a few beers in me before the Tigers/Pirates game.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Northerners are supposed to show up to work sober?! Heck, I’ve been doing it wrong.

      (Actually, now that I’m a “responsible” adult I’m not generally still drunk in the AM, but back in my 20’s…)

      • baconzgood

        No at 8 AM. At lunch we have 3 martinis

    • Hutch

      It is beautiful down here, I have to admit. I enjoy living here as long as I don’t have to engage much with the native white folk down here.

      Having lived here for five years, I can tell you that the hoi polloi around here is just filled with hatred. For blacks, for the gays, for intelligent people… they seem to hate anyone who isn’t exactly like them. All day long. I’m one of two, white democrats in my town as far as I can tell. These people could never make it in the north or the west. They don’t have the skills, can’t engage people of different viewpoints, and don’t want to solve problems. They just wallow in their emotional religious experiences every Sunday and eat their nasty food.

      If it weren’t for my close friends and family in the north and on the west coast, and Wonkette of course (thank you guys), I’d go nuts.

    • mardam422

      Sorry, I’m just mad about the south and hate them so much…
      Shakes fist like Abe Simpson yelling at a cloud.

      • Henri205

        Tell ’em to get off your lawn. You’ll feel better. Actually, I have met some very nice people from the South but I’m afraid the stereotype holds true.

    • HEY I’m a Southerner and…er, well, okay, I don’t even have it in me to pretend to go all tumblr. Hell I’ve been trying to get out of the South for years and the furthest I got was Columbia, MIssouri (which is a Midwest enclave in the middle of the South’s march lands) and Fairfax, Virginia, which culturally speaking is just across the border.

      • baconzgood

        Come to PA. Bad weather, jerk people and undriveable roads. But at least it ain’t the south. In fact that is what pa started putting on thier license plates 2 years ago.

        • I’m trying! By providence many the full-time jobs I’m most qualified for are all either in the northeast or California.

  • freakishlystrong

    Georgia Republicans who might get bees in their rectums Oh Dog, if ONLY, sigh..a girl can dream..

  • I know these conservatives are worried about sexual predators in bathrooms, but I don’t remember any stories about Bill Cosby sneaking into a bathroom in drag.

  • hollydturner

    Disgusting dirtbags!.I simply can’t allow myself any more emotion than that. If I did I’d have to be medicated and someone would have to put the huggy coat on me.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’m sorry I didn’t read the article because I’m dealing with a resident’s association emergency debacle where open warfare has broken out between the sappy “we are the beaver” camp and the psychotic “kill the chisel-toothed menace before they kill us” camp (I’m in the former) – but I just gotta say that Nathan Deal is a SUPERB name for a southern governor.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Eh… I think it’s better for a southern car dealer.

      DEAL’S DODGE DEALER!!!! Does Deal have deal for you!!!!
      …Can’t you just see the local commercials now…

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Nathan “New” Deal

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          Like The New Nixon. Only pervyer. More pervy?

        • cynmac

          Nathan “Raw” Deal

      • Boscoe

        Or a gameshow host.

    • SayItWithWookies

      You probably already know this, but there are environmental and civil engineering trends in the direction of working with beaver habitats instead of eradication. I found this Nature episode enlightening (the full episode is behind a membership paywall, so this is the preview). A lot of it is about their behavior but there’s a segment about a park in Canada that’s working to understand beaver behavior and working towards compatibility.
      http://www.pbs.org/video/2365239661/

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Is this code for something/

      • Lefty Frizzell

        No that’s the geese.

        The geese fly backwards in spring.

        • Henri205

          Are they carrying coconuts? Asking for a friend.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Nathan sounds kind of . . . Hebraic, don’t it?

      • Lazy Media

        Southern Baptists traditionally name their kids after Biblical figures, and Nathan isn’t any more Jewy than Jedediah or Ezekiel. Deal is the key part; it shows why it’s MUCH better to elect a crook than a Bible thumper. Sure, Deal steals a little, but he doesn’t actively try to ruin things.

        • cynmac

          Wrong. Nathan “Raw” Deal is very corrupt. Not accepting the Medicaid expansion because he wants “block grants” that can be funneled to his buddies is just one example.

        • nmmagyar

          Fundie-gelicals are now doing that also, too.

        • Henri205

          So where’d they get Jim Bob? I’m not that familiar with the Bible so maybe I missed that verse.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Southerners are very fond of nicknames and contracted names. Half of my Ozarkian relatives have been known by their nicknames for 70 or 80 years, but they list their real birth names in the phone book, which makes it really hard when you are trying to find the phone number of someone you have known all your life as “Rusty” but his real name is Conrad William, but you never once in your entire life heard him called that. One of my relatives is “James Robert Edward” but is always called either “Jim Bob” or “Sonny” – the “Sonny” is because he was the youngest of 8 children. I had an aunt named Lola but she was always called “Bitsy” because she was so skinny and petite as a child (as in Itsy Bitsy). I have an elderly cousin who is always called BeeGee – as in B.G. or “Baby Girl.” I do not know what her real name is. My grandfather was William Fred, but everyone called him “Blue,” and nobody can tell me why. I’m sure there’s an interesting story there, but everyone who knew it is dead.

      • cat cafe

        A British friend told me a better term, from the old-time British anti-semites…. “His hair’s a trifle curly…..”

        • Vecciojohn LLC

          “Bit of a hooknose.”

          Jonathan Miller, who doesn’t read as Jewish, particularly, once had a lawyer recommend another lawyer with this hint about the guy’s identity.

          • cat cafe

            Yes, when your name (like mine) doesn’t read Jewish, you hear the worst things. But there’s nothing like the Brits.

    • Querolous

      Natty Deal ?

  • Joshua Norton

    Surprise! Rep. Jeremy Durham, one of the sponsors of the Tennessee bathroom bill is an unadulterated sex perv who’s been labeled “a continuing risk to unsuspecting women who are employed by or interact with the legislature.” by his own party.
    .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      These people are always projecting. Always.

    • jmk

      Because of course he is.

    • chicken thief

      Nice mic grip you got there, cocksucker.

      • nmmagyar

        He’s not used to anything big enough to require all five fingers to grasp

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Thank you! … Oh, you meant the guy in the picture.

      • thenearesthippie

        Maybe Santorum could show him how it’s done.

    • TheBidenator

      He looks like “Deliverance” Neil Patrick Harris….

      • Boscoe

        The lost Duggar!

  • chicken thief

    “When Jindal issued his stupid order, the
    business community went apeshit, just like they did in Georgia and are
    now doing in Mississippi and North Carolina. “

    But, like in Indiana, the states that passed those laws have not repealed them. We need to keep the pressure on those states until such time as they do.

    And vote against anyone that voted for, or signed, such bills.

    Never fergit!1!!!!

  • Helena Handbag

    Finally a nice time! Thanks Evan, I was getting dangerously close to becoming a hermit and eschewing all contact with humanity.

  • Shibusa
    • TheBidenator

      I believe she is also known as “Southern Mona Lisa”…..

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        Real name: People Magazine Snopes.

    • chicken thief

      Is that a baby seal curled up in her pants?!

      • ViveLaRes

        Yes. And its mother.

    • Hutch

      Wow. How does she wipe?

      • nmmagyar

        True fact: they make a toilet paper holder thingie for people that can’t reach. I was oddly fascinated by them when I was at the medical supply/DME store

        • Jack Parsons
          • nmmagyar

            Is it just me, or does that actually look like it could double as a dildo?

          • sw19womble

            Oh dear great perverts minds…!

          • h4rr4r

            Please buy two of them if you are considering such alternative uses. You don’t want the poop one being used for the other activities.

          • nmmagyar

            They would be fairly indistinguishable for me.

          • h4rr4r

            Good news, you are going to be saving some money then!

          • nmmagyar

            I’m thrifty that way

          • sw19womble

            Ted Cruz will ban those things the moment he becomes President.

      • thenearesthippie

        Please. Real ‘Muricans don’t wipe.

      • Henri205

        I’m sure there’s room for a bidet in the double-wide. If not, it could be cunningly concealed on the front porch behind the broken washing machine.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I was going to suggest that she wears Depends, but then I realized they don’t make them that big.

    • NorthernSaber

      This is the single-most ‘Murican thing I have ever fucking seen. I kneel in supplication before your glory…

      • Boscoe

        Pfft. I guess you’ve never seen THIS then…

      • Dinz6315

        The hell is she EATING?!? I mean, in the picture?

    • borninatrailer

      I’m aware of “camel toe” but this “camel hump” I’m seeing is rather upsetting.

    • ViveLaRes

      Bless her heart.

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Now listen here. I just took a shower and I don’t want to hear anything further about Ed-Tay Uze-cray and his izz-jay. OK?

  • Iron Monkey

    I know that we have to take what we can get from dumbfuck haters but not making discrimination state law is setting the bar pretty low for congratulations.

    • Boscoe

      Don’t worry, they’ll surely find a way to lower it even further…

  • nmmagyar

    Thank you for a story that doesn’t involve Ted Cruz getting off.

  • dslindc

    “I knew it was a divisive issue. […] The reality was that nothing that that bill sought to prevent was not already prevented by the current law of our state or of our federal government.”

    WHAT A RINO!!!!

    • Scooby

      RINOs ate me baby!

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Bobby, the job title is Token Brown. You need to be seen and speak when spoken to. Now men are talking here so zip it, Gunga Din.

    • Boscoe

      Bobby is the Indian Uncle Ruckus…

      • Mintie

        He really is, isn’t he?

    • Gregory Brown

      Whoa!! Gay Gold Stars Awarded for Twin Killing — Jindal Slapdown/Cary Grant Indirect Reference!!

  • NoGoodnik

    They spell their gay love, M-O-N-E-Y. But, it is all good. Attitudes are hard to change and if they need to follow the money to the promise land, then so be it. The next generation will be all the less bigoted.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      “Get em by the bank account, their harts and minds will follow.”

  • NoGoodnik

    Like Louisiana can afford to lose any more money after Bobbi Jindal wrecked the economy so badly that the state has had to cancel college football! I’m surprised that Bobbi hasn’t been tarred and feathered.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      That doesn’t work in Louisiana. It get so hot in the summer that the tar melts. The best punishment for someone from Louisiana is to send them to live in Minnesota in the winter.

  • chicken thief

    Speaking of Assholes-in-the-name-of-Jesus state public servants, has Kim Davis started signing the marriage licenses for the gays yet?

  • When South Carolina is acting more sane than its northern sibling, it’s time for some deep soul searching.

    • CarolinaStewPie

      Amen to that. What a bunch of fucktards ruining this beautiful state.

    • Ralph Crown

      It’s only the governor, and she’s only reacting to the reaction to the NC bill. Things are not good for gays in SC, even relative to NC. As we say in SC, “Thank God for Mississippi,” they’re the only ones who make us look good.

  • nmmagyar

    Apropos of nothing but my undying love for the Wonketariat: this is my 8,000th comment.

    • Blank Ron

      Molotov!

    • WhyFelicia

      Doing something that is not allowed 8,000 times must be some kind of record.

      • nmmagyar

        I think there is only one other activity that comes close to that number

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Eating potato chips? You can’t eat just one, you know.

    • Gregory Brown

      You counted!?

  • YourNameHere

    Hurrah! Let’s all be gay now.

    Wait, I’m already gay so uh, I will be gayer.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      You mean, you have not reached peak gay yet? Slacker.

      • nmmagyar

        Peak gay is exhausting

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          I can only manage short bursts of peak gay.

  • Stein Olsen

    Such a dashing unicorn. I am touching my self tonight.

    • thenearesthippie

      Why wait until tonight?

      • URQ196

        Cuz he’s at work right now, they frown on doing that at the retail business he works at.

        • Gregory Brown

          Especially in the produce sextion.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Wouldn’t it make more sense to touch a unicorn?

      • Gregory Brown

        I think that’s a gay unicorn filly.

  • JoeChristmas

    BUILD THE DANG STALL!!1!

  • Me not sure

    Deal is a grifter, pure and simple, he can smell which side the money has come down on. He also is in his last term as governor, and he has his future to consider. Still, I’ll take any win I can get.

    • Skadi

      Given how hard it is to get people to even think in terms of rational self-interest, yeah, this counts as a win.

    • Gregory Brown

      A win is a win, and just because dollars make sense to Republicans who haven’t gone completely around the bend, doesn’t mean we should not welcome those wins.

  • bookish
  • mrpuma2u

    No trans seckshul bathrooms today, No trans seckshul bathrooms ta-marrah, no trans-seckshul bathrooms for- EVAH!

  • xy

    about twice a week i am really thankful i’m not a gay person. not because i find homosexuality wrong but because i’m not nearly strong enough to have survived.

    good luck to all the homosexual, bisexual, or whatever things i don’t even know about. i’m pullin for ya.(but not like that)

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I had two male friends in high school who were gay, but very few people knew it. They both dropped out of school and later committed suicide. I never forgot that. Nobody would choose to go through what they went through back in the 70’s.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    I’m still not going home anytime soon. It’s a long way from New Orleans.

  • Alex Grey

    Gay unicorns may be allowed, but what about the rest of the ponies???

  • Marion in Savannah

    Just to let you know that it’s not all hopeless here… Later this morning I’m headed off to my Episcopal parish where two stalwart members of our congregation are getting married. Yay, Marsha and Omelia!

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