SHARE
By Miyagawa
By Miyagawa

Another day, another fast food company saying a terrible, extremely stupid thing about rising wages. Surprise!

This time, the stupid thing in question is being said by an executive from White Castle, that restaurant your insufferable NY friends (as if you have any other kind of NY friends) talk up incessantly but that you’ve never actually seen in person in your entire life. White Castle, in the form of company Vice President Jamie Richardson talking to the shuffling amalgamation of William F. Buckley’s diseased brain-sharts National Review, has decided it would have to raise prices by quite a lot in order to survive New York’s new $15 minimum wage law:

If labor costs rise dramatically, White Castle will have to balance its books by raising prices or changing its business model so that it needs less labor.

“Is there any room to raise prices to cover costs?” Richardson muses. “We think we’d need to increase menu prices by something like 50 percent. It’s not something we’ve done before. It’d be catastrophic.”

ONOES — fifty is a lot of percent! Wow, this new wage law must be a disaster, huh?

Yeah, about that. We can only assume those numbers came from the eminent scholarly research firm of Their Own Butts LLC. As far as we can tell, they got to 50% less through careful quantitative analysis and more by throwing their own poop at a blown-up picture of a needy family and seeing what number the splatter pattern most resembled. Actual studies into the effect of raising fast food wages on menu costs show that prices actually go up by about 4%, at least in the case of McDonald’s, and the damage to the industry’s business model is negligible at worst.

Now, MAYBE, because White Castle is an outlier in the industry for selling their items so cheaply, their margins are different. Granted, this is probably offset by the fact that one doesn’t really buy one slider at White Castle, but 3 to 5000 depending on how many tequila sunrises are coursing through your veins. Still — for the sake of argument, let us assume the percentage White Castle would have to raise their prices is different from other fast fooderies. And maybe they CAN produce numbers that show 50% isn’t a ludicrous apocalyptic fever dream! We can’t know since no studies have been calculated specifically towards White Castle. Maybe those numbers exist, and if we ever see them, we will happily eat crow. But until we do, we’re going to assume they’re purely a scare tactic. But even in that instance, the menu is so cheap anyway that its not like it’s breaking the bank.

“But you’re wrong about it not being bad in general, because this isn’t just theory!” you are shouting, if you are an asshole. “What about Seattle, where the $15 minimum wage is KILLING restaurants?!” To which we can only respond oh man, has it been that long since we pointed out that argument is complete bullshit and Seattle has not, in fact, seen the dawn of restaurantmageddon? In that case, yes, that argument is stupid and wrong — Seattle’s restaurant industry is doing just fine. You dumbass.

So, new plan: sliders can go fuck themselves, as can monstrosity burgers proffered by scantily clad women. Instead, who’s up for some coneys at Sonic, where the people in charge are apparently not uberdouches?

[National Review Online]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Pickwicknext

    Slightly OT but since it was mentioned by Pinkham, I’m going with it. I frequently get William F. Buckley and Wilford Brimley confused.

    • Msmlg1979

      Only one of those men will deliver The Diabeetus testing supplies right to your door.

      • Dr.Zoidberg

        So handy…

      • SnarkTank

        “What’s in the boooooooooox??????”

    • FauxAntocles

      Oddly enough, so do they.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Damn, well there goes Kathryn Jean Lopez’s Thanksgiving.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Shouldn’t they get to pay less to their staff, because, hell, look at how small those burgers are!!

  • memzilla

    …White Castle will have to balance its books by raising prices or changing its business model …

    If your “business model” relies on paying people slave wages… THEN YOU HAVE A SHITTY BUSINESS MODEL TO BEGIN WITH.

    • SnarkTank

      All the upfists to memzilla!

    • Blank Ron

      Canna be said often enough.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    If labor costs rise dramatically, White Castle will have to balance its books by raising prices or changing its business model so that it needs less labor.

    …just spit balling here, or MAYBE they can cut the salary of their shit for brains executives board and reinvest that into a living wage for the people that actually make money for the company(the WORKERS!!!!)

    • Grokenstein

      *gasp* HERESY!!

    • memzilla

      You commie! I’m calling Zombie J. Edgar “COINTEL” Hoover right now!

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        He’s on his way, just squeezing into his zombie girdle.

        • memzilla

          He’ll certainly give ABG a dressing down!

          • Iron Monkey

            A lovely dressing gown.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            ***shudder***

      • DJ McCann

        Communism was just a red herring.

    • Skwerl King

      Have they ever been at a drive thru here? Cut labor any more and they won’t have any labor.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …as someone that been through many a drive thru at 2-3am I can definitely agree. Waiting 15 minutes for a quesadilla or Big Mac is entirely TOO SHORT!!!

    • xy

      that’s quite a fantasy world you’ve concocted.

  • I could swear I’ve heard this before. Oh yeah, right before Obamacare was implemented. They were wrong then, too.

    • Blank Ron

      They are always wrong. That never, ever stops them.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      They also predict doom when a smoking ban goes into effect. Wrong, wrong, but when did that ever stop them?

  • Rick Hill

    I think the hidden cost that slavery held, applies here. When someone has such low labor costs it drives down the wages of everyone.

    • Blank Ron

      So, feature, not bug.

      • nmmagyar

        The WalMart Model: pay them so little they can’t afford to shop anywhere else.

        • Rick Hill

          Your comment + mine=true that

      • Rick Hill

        I’m starting to think that’s the plan. Everyone can only afford cheap things, which break and then have to be replaced by more cheap things.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …never ate a “White Castle” and never will at this point! No matter how bad the munchies hit me at 2am on a Saturday night

    • There is always Taco Smell.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I swear I put some Taco Hells executives kid through college back in my early 20’s

        • Tobias B. Santa

          Taco Hell > Waffle House

          • SnarkTank

            Taco Hell Alpo > Waffle House
            .
            FIFY.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …to be fair I ACTUALLY like Waffle House. It causes less explosive diarrhea than Taco Hell

          • ahughes798

            I like them, too. Mainly because they would be open when you’re driving to your next gig and need some half-way decent food to keep you awake.

          • data_ninja

            I forget the comedian who said it, but “Waffle House isn’t where you decide to go to, it’s where you end up at.”

          • Tobias B. Santa

            That meat flavored gravy does smell awfully good.

        • My local outlet had a once a week special, a dozen beef and bean burritos for 5 dollars. That was lunch for 2-3 days a week.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …we had that down here in Miami too. Me and my buddies would murder 36 of them after a hard nights drinking. And then spend whole next day on the toilet!!!

          • Abyss

            Wasn’t that an episode of CSI: MIAMI?

    • SnarkTank

      I don’t trust any burger with a hole in the middle.

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      Well, if there were any White Castles in my state, I’d boycott them too!

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Wait- No one told me that scantily clad women were involved!

    • Dr.Zoidberg

      This changes everything!!

      Well, make it a scantily-clad Hugh Jackman and you got a deal.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I’d watch.

      • nmmagyar

        There should be a law prohibiting Hugh Jackman from wearing clothes other than his Wolverine suit.

    • It’s advertising. There is always scantily clad women being exploited involved.

  • BigBoppa

    A 50% increase in prices would be disastrous for my family. We eat at White Castle, on average, approximately never times per week. We just couldn’t stomach an increase like that (just like their “food”).

  • Skwerl King

    Wow, I wonder how the $12/hour they are advertising here is hurting their sales? Oh wait it isn’t.

    And yes, I eat there on a regular basis.

    • pstockholm

      It’s been real, Skwerl. What do they give you, a coupla months?

  • witsended

    You are only plugging Sonic because you enjoy asking the staff to give you a Pepper Orgasm.

    Pepper Orgasm

    If you have enough chutzpah, you can ask for it by name. There’s a good chance the people at Sonic know what you mean. But if your request is met with a few embarrassed looks and red faces, you can explain that it is Dr. Pepper with a bit of PowerAde and lemonade mixed in. Whoever at Sonic thought of combining the taste Dr. Pepper, lemonade, and PowerAde is a mad genius!

    • SnarkTank

      I’m sorry, but that sounds….just….disgusting. Of course, I am a pariah here in Texas, since I can’t stand the taste of Dr. Pepper, so I may not be the one to ask.

      • SterWonk

        I may have to fly back to Houston, solely so I can run you out of the state!

        ;-) (ACTUALLY, I had a relatively late introduction to Dr Pepper; my default was Coke. And it’s moot now, since I’ve mostly given up soft drinks.)

      • witsended

        Could have gone with the purple orgasm.

        This is also called Purple Passion or Purple Sprite. Chances are that the folks at Sonic will know what you’re talking about when you ask for it by one of these names. It is made with Sprite mixed with cranberry juice, lemonade, and a small amount of PowerAde. This is one drink you can really be passionate about. It comes with the sweet and fruity citrus taste that’s really hard to describe but impossible to forget.

      • Suttree

        An old friend’s wife drank Dr. Pepper as soon as she woke up. It always made me puke in my mouth a little bit. People from north Louisiana are weird ass rednecks.

        • Morrigan in Oregon

          now, now, when I was a child, even I knew how to read the bottle and take my Dr. Pepper at 10, 2, and 4. it was the superbeets of it’s day. I even remember the hillbilly on the bottles of Mountain Dew.

    • John Smith

      To me, Dr. Pepper tastes like cough syrup. At least with cough syrup you can get a buzz and/or a good night’s sleep!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Being that the quality of lots of fast food is probably a half-grade above roadkill, if they raised prices on that shit, I’d probably stop buying it too. A buck or so for shitburger? Eh, okay. Three bucks for a shitburger… Nope!!!! So I can see where fast food execs are coming from…

    • FlownOver

      …and where they can go.

  • Creepoman

    So when beef prices doubled over the same time period the $15/hr wage increase will be rolled out, I’d don’t recall the same level of teeth gnashing and garment rending. Shit – that implies White Castle uses beef in their hamburger sandwiches. My bad, nevermind.

    • Hutch

      Having tasted White Castle burgers once, I believe they are pure pink slime (which technically is a beef product). Just like the Krystal burgers they have in Florida. Nasty!

      • SnarkTank

        If I look for all the Simpsons Krusty Burger clips that would be an appropriate response to this, I’d never make it back. So just imagine your favorite right here.

      • Msmlg1979

        Looks like a snake sculpture made of Pepto and soft-serve.

      • data_ninja

        Snopes has a pretty good read up on that stuff. Whitecastle might still use the stuff, but apparently McDonalds, Burger King and Taco Bell stopped using it in 2012.

        • Hutch

          Good! Who would have thought that ammoniated ground beef assholes where something we’d like in our hamburgers?

          • John Smith

            That shall be my new name for Ted Cruz.

          • Abyss

            “ammoniated ground beef assholes”

            Didn’t they fight the teenage mutant ninja turtles in the original comic?

      • Blank Ron

        That settles it. I’m switching back to solyent green.

  • SnarkTank

    Will no one think of the stoners? What will Kal Penn and Neil Patrick Harris and the Chinese guy* do now????
    .
    *FTR, yes, I do know his name is John Cho.

    • Creepoman

      I believe the PC term is “chink”

      • nmmagyar

        I’m old school and just call them Japs. Also, too, my kinda-daughters are Chinese and I like getting Father’s Day cards.

      • kev

        just thought of a horrible joke: what did the tank operator in tiannamen square say? there seems to be a chink in my armor.

    • John Cho is Korean.

      • FlownOver

        Is that different?

        • SnarkTank

          THANK you! Good snark is so underappreciated. Not that my snark is “good” exactly, but….

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Whitecastle patrons are already paying that extra 50% and more in SNAP and other welfare programs for the employees. Raising the minimum wage to a point above where welfare is required hurts literally no one.

    It just establishes a precedent the oligarchy considers dangerous.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And even if you’re NOT a Whitecastle patron, you get to chip on those welfare benefits too!!!! Amazing, right?

  • Iron Monkey

    When I was a kid I thought White Castle was a two restaurant chain on the South side of Chicago, one at 91st street and Commercial, the other at 87th street and Stony Island. Never noticed any others and must have thought that the crap they sold was so bad (which it still is) that no one wanted it. Imagine my shock when I saw one on the North side and even in other cities.

    Note to Jamie Richardson: I wouldn’t take your crap food if it was free. Maybe if you gave out dollar bills with every disgusting order.

    • kev

      the last of those shit-holes in the cleveland area closed just a couple years back. i’m pretty much over it now.

    • ahughes798

      There was one at Western and Armitage, too. I could smell it from my house, which wasn’t all bad, especially when they were baking their cinnamon rolls in the morning.

  • Oarboar

    I wonder if these geniuses ever realize that it’s not just their companies that would have to raise the wage, but also their competitors as well. Eejits.

    • SmokinGood

      Not to mention the obvious fact that it approximately doubles the gross income of their target market.

      And let’s not even begin to ponder the effect on discretionary income.

  • Scooby

    I know what they are talking about. It screws up the worker/management pay ratio. Do we really want White Castle CEOs only able to say “I make only 900 times what a worker does”. It would be embarrassing for them.

    • mardam422

      It’s only right. I mean, how can they look their workers in the eye knowing they don’t have to apply for food stamps to make ends meet????

      • Scooby

        Especially during dressage season in Provence.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Anybody who chooses where to eat by how cheap it is deserves to get the shit for food they are paying for. As for me, I’d rather pay a little more, knowing the person serving me isn’t starving or living on the street.

    • mardam422

      Yew must be one o’ those pinko commienists I bin hearin’ ’bout down at the Suds Buckit!

    • Creepoman

      Or contemptuously spitting on your meal.

  • Joshua Norton

    I know where they can get a bunch of food service robots cheap!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Unfortunately, serving White Castle burgers is known to violate the First Law of Robotics.

  • Suttree

    From now on I am only eating at Krystal Burger! Yes the nearest one that I know of is 1300 miles away.

    • Msmlg1979

      We have Krystal here, but I have never had either one.

      • Suttree

        The one I used to go to was at Bourbon and Canal in the French Quarter. It was absolutely disgusting, but I always had enough liquor in my belly to kill the inevitable food poisoning.

        • Msmlg1979

          Sometimes when you’re drinking, the only thing that will satisfy is terrible food. I only eat Waffle House if I’m drunk in the middle of the night.

          • Suttree

            Oh gawd! Waffle house is terrible! It makes Denny’s look like Ruth’s Chris. I actually did get food poisoning the last time that I ate there. This was in the middle of a 26 hour drive across country when I was moving back down south. I hate you Waffle House!!!1111!!!

          • Msmlg1979

            I will never eat there again, no matter how loudly the vodka is demanding greasy hash browns at 3am. How dare they try to kill my friend?!!

          • nmmagyar

            I broke off part of a tooth at Waffle House at 3:00 the morning of my grandma’s funeral (we red-eyed it to get there). I still eat there.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I love Waffle House. I get smothered and covered has browns and grits (because grits are groovy).

          • Suttree

            I miss grits. :(

          • Suttree

            A friend of mine down south always made roast, grits, and gravy every Sunday. All I had to do was supply beer.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Sounds wonderful. My wife makes Grillades ( gree/ adz) and Gravy. Grillades are small cube steaks. Much the same thing. Grits are groovy.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          My father in law worked at that one when he was in college in the 1940s.

    • Little Lulu

      Ew, save your money and buy drugs instead. Krystal’s are all over Nashburg, and they don’t have that friendly, wholesome taste I remembered from the 70s.

      • JH Marx

        “buy drugs”
        I like the way you think!

    • kev

      Brown Bag and Five Guys both have good burgers and fries in Cleveland. we rarely do the burger scene any more since the inconsiderate spouse decided she was going to have celiac disease. this has caused my pasta intake to suffer horribly, as well.

      • Suttree

        There is a Five Guys near me which is pretty darn good. So you’re in Cleveland? I was there a couple of years ago for my Baka’s funeral. We went to Marko’s afterwards and ate all of their civapcicis and my cousins and I drank all of their slivovitce.

        • kev

          we live in an area originally settled by eastern european immigrants. still plenty of places that serve the food and drink you describe.

  • weejee

    All fast fud and latte shoppes have all closed here in Seattle since we passed $15/hr minimum in the spring of 2014.

    / takes sekret sip of wonderful shot-in-the-dark from Katy’s just down the block

  • Sardonicuss

    Hey! Remember when Papa John threatened to raise the prices on his slimy cardboard pizza’s 21..cents if he was forced to provide healthcare to his slave labor force? I do, because it was the last time I ever clogged my arteries with one of his nasty discs of death!
    Good times!

    • kev

      i, too will not buy pizza from that right-wing greedy bunglecunt. we patronize the mom-and-pop shops in our town.

      • Plushinobi

        I wish that were an option for us, but the independent pizza shops in my area are a) expensive, b) not very good, and c) treat their employees just as shitty as the chains (yay Republican towns…). Instead we’ve resorted to freezer pizzas for those late night cravings.

        • nmmagyar

          We do grocery store take & bakes (not that frozen shite), better than Greasy Hut, but not as good a mom and pop.

        • kev

          those have come a long way since my childhood. you still need to add a little more cheese to most of the though.

          • Courser

            Penzies Spices has an awesome Frozen Pizza blend that does a fabulous with some of the better frozen pizzas. I think it’s mostly oregano, but a sprinkle of that and some parmesan and it’s pretty darn good and WAAYYY less fat.

            I also make my own mini-pizzas most of time. Buy the crust, sauce, pepperoni and cheese and I’m set for quite a while

          • kev

            pro tip: you can fix that way less fat problem by adding fried bacon. you’re welcome.

    • Just yesterday at work somebody bought the whole gang some Papa John’s Pizzas. I hadn’t eaten any Papa John’s Pizza in years and was shocked at how nauseatingly sweet the sauce tasted, like some kind of demented ‘dessert pizza’.

      • Sardonicuss

        It is truly disgusting…much like Papa himself.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        My sister orders that shit for family birthdays. I usually eat the crust and throw the rest away. Or eat before I leave home.

      • SessileRaptor

        I had the same thing happen with Pizza Hut. Hadn’t had it in years because there were multiple better choices around, my wife felt like ordering it again so we did, and I couldn’t finish a slice. Just terrible sauce and sub par ingredients all around. I don’t know if they changed their sauce recipe and sourced cheaper meats or if my tastes just changed that much, but it was inedible.

    • bupkus23

      That was in the summer of 2012, but by Jan 2013, “Papa John” Schlatter backed down from his claim ( after their PR firm tried to deny that Schlatter ever made the initial claim ).

      Link: http://mic.com/articles/24228/papa-john-s-backtracks-from-claim-that-pizza-prices-will-increase-because-of-obamacare#.XEwf9Opzc

      Funny thing is, since 2012, prices at Papa John’s have increased a LOT more than that “threatened” Obamacare increase – instead of about 0.8%, they’ve increased an average of 18.75%…..

      http://rawlinson.us/2015/papa-johns-pizza-prices-and-obamacare

      Of course, their “fresher ingredients” still taste like slop ( yes, I made the repeat mistake…. )

      • Sardonicuss

        Around that same time, he held a fund raiser for Mittens at his country “estate”. I remember aerial shots of it. It was so huge, it looked like a picture of Disney Land.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          $34 million mansion. Tell me again how paying employees a living wage is bad, you hoofwanking bunglecunt.

          • Abyss

            “hoofwanking bunglecunt.”

            ….so many awesome interesting new words i’m learning here lately!

        • bupkus23

          Yeah, pizza has been beri,beri good to John Schlatter – but you should see the place that the Domino’s founder has financed down here in FL – a whole “city” built around a church ( he’s a die-hard conservative Catholic ) and a “university”. One wonders how may “good works” Monahan’s “legacy” could have provided if he hadn’t been so determined to build a monument to himself…

  • bozilingus

    To be fair to White Castle, if they raise the wages for their employees, the employees would be able to afford better “food” than White Castle’s.

  • Skwerl King

    Also. What is a Sonic?

    • Msmlg1979

      Sonic is a drive-in themed fast food place. The desserts and shakes are better than the food.

      • SterWonk

        Shakes, yes; desserts, ehh.

        But tater tots LIBEL!!! Sonic has the best tots of anyone, anywhere.

        • Damian L

          I thought tots were things that crawl on the floor that I trip over.

          • bupkus23

            Sonic’s will do that, too, if you leave ’em on the floor long enough!

          • JH Marx

            You’re thinking of rug rats!1!!1!

      • dinah42

        Slushes! I miss the apple juice slushes, though. They were the greatest thing *ever* for sore throats. The regular slushes just aren’t as good as the apple juice ones.

        • Msmlg1979

          I bet you could make them. Add some whiskey! ;)

          • dinah42

            Gasp! *Make* something? How dare you suggest such a horrifying and disgusting thing! (And I live in Portland, so to hell with whiskey. Dark chocolate has been shown to alleviate coughing, so I’ll just take advantage of my access to Washington’s edibles-selling dispensaries and opt for weed-infused dark chocolate, at least until this summer when Oregon is expected to join in allowing edibles sales as well.)

          • Msmlg1979

            Great idea!

          • Biff52

            Earlier this week I decided not to make something, but rather buy it pre-packaged. I got a robotic phone message saying I was probably going to die of listeria. I give up.

      • Little Lulu

        The burgers are pretty good, ackshully. There was one in Austin I loved!

      • Shan

        Cherry limeade!

    • Sardonicuss

      A burger joint with really good… tater tots! ..and an apparently not -fascist executive running it.

      • Biff52

        Their sweet tots and onion rings are quite good.

    • data_ninja

      A constantly degrading video game franchise? The best friend of Miles “Tails” Prower? The first part of Street Fighters Guile signature attack? I could go on…

  • freakishlystrong

    They could drop the millions of little weird onions they put on the things, maybe that would net them 1,000% profit. Poor dears.

    • bozilingus

      But I liked the grilled onions. Now I haz sad…

  • Vincent Ricola

    I already won’t eat at White Castle because “White Castle” sounds like the name of a KKK meeting hall. Not surprising that a restaurant with a name that invokes segregated monarchy imagery is a-okay with keeping their employees at slave status.

    And also too because their food is made of worm filler and unwashed finger touches.

  • Michael Rush

    They could switch to a less disgusting product …

    http://s9.postimg.org/pz32rhtgv/lisa_slurry.png

  • ViveLaRes

    To paraphrase an old PETA bumper sticker: White Castle – It’s What’s Rotting in Your Colon.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …as someone who has worked in retail for 15 years and has actually seen and analyzed the profit and loss statements for these companies, I can call a loud BULL-SHIT on this statement!!! I worked at a store rhyming with “Mal-Wart” that grossed 132 million dollars a year, if raised base pay to $15 it would have decreased net profit by about 10%. What these companies are really afraid of is the upstream increase for salaried workers like supervisors and managers.

    • Creepoman

      You worked at Ball-Shart? Me too!

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …yep, kinda miss it though. Loved the fast tempo and random bullshyt. Hated the pay as a manager and how they treated hourly associates like a infinite commodity. Other than that I actually enjoyed working for them.

        • Creepoman

          Actually, I lied about my resume – just looking for a way to work in “shart.” But it is a bit comforting to know that some pleasure can be derived from working there, and that it’s not 100% concentrate of soul-crushing despair (since I’ll probably have to make at least one pass through their payroll before my kids shove me in the oven).

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …I’m the type of person that likes to immerse himself in work. I enjoyed showing up to work to a shitload of stuff to do and then blinking an eye and realizing that 10 hours has passed and it’s time to go home. Also my associates and management team were awesome, so overall life for ME was good with the company. The primary issue is having an associate come to you for more hours because they have 3 kids and their husband left them and you having to say no!

    • Sardonicuss

      I read that at mal wart, the average price per item increase, with a minimum $15 per hour pay grade would be something like 74 cents….
      and of course, maybe the hell spawn of Sam might not be able to buy another city on the coast of China.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …this!!! Although a store that grosses 132 million only nets about 9 million in profit, due to how they schedule associates this will only result in a decrease in net profits of 2 million(at absolute most). I personally saved my store nearly 3 million dollars by correcting operational errors/inefficiencies. Add in the fact they are paying asshole CEO’s multi millions to repeat buzzwords and I can easily find the cash to increase pay for the average worker.

        • Sardonicuss

          Well, you know they have that trick of calling someone a “manager” and paying them $7.50 an hour, but working them only 36? hours a week to keep from having to pay them health insurance.
          Actual salaried managers, are free to work 60 to 80 hours a week, with no O.T. pay, reducing their actual hourly pay to sometimes as little as $4 per hour.
          So…everybody loses! Except the Walton spawn, who collectively own more wealth than the bottom 60 percent of the U.S. population..combined.

          • Damian L

            Ya,but if you put a giant box at the exit and ask your customers to donate food so your employees can have canned corn for Christmas dinner you are A-OK !!!! Greatest Country In The World!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Sardonicuss

            Think about this as well. If you pay taxes you subsidize wal-mart: since a large part of their work force are eligible for food stamps because they refuse to pay them a living wage.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            And Section 8 housing vouchers, and Medicaid.

          • ahughes798

            My sis works at Wal-Mart “full time,” as in 36 hours so they won’t have to pay for health insurance. She really likes it there, though she has to bust her ass, which is okay with her because it makes the time go faster. Her managers actually treat their employees well, and if the store makes a certain amount of money, and lowers their shrinkage, they get a bonus on their checks. BUT she barely makes enough to get by on, and I supplement her income as much as I can. I guess CA has raised the minimum wage to $15 an hour…spread out over the next 6 years. I hope that by that time, it will still be a living wage.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …as I said that upstream, Mal-Wart isn’t a “bad” place to work necessarily, especially if you have a good management team. The pay is ASS tho. If they can get that corrected I would be the first to recommend them and I may even go back. You can’t pay people those wages and give them those hours(despite me being salaried)

          • ahughes798

            Yeah, I kinda wish she’d find another job. She has 19 years of human resources experience, but it’s hard to get hired for any job above minimum wage if you’re over 50.

          • nmmagyar

            The SNAP and Medicaid applications in the HR office are a nice touch. To show employees how much you care about their well-being.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Actually Wal-Mart relies on the Feds to subsidize worker food, health care, and housing. And they employ more people than any other company in the USA. Remember, writing that tax check Friday is putting money in the Walton Family pockets.

          • h4rr4r

            Then those employees spend that money at…..Wal-Mart!

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …yeah, that was particularly embarrassing and came out about 3 weeks before I accepted another job with another company with better pay. Because at my location all the managers would kick in a $100 and we would buy associates turkeys for Thanksgiving. In the end we would have about $1500 in turkeys(about 45 to 50 turkeys) and we would just give them out to our “neediest” associates.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …true, however I worked no more than 45 hours a week and I was a salaried member of management. But I think that had to do more with the fact that my associates liked me and would bend over backwards to get shit done. I would literally get phone calls at 2am from an associate to follow up on task that he or she has completed.i always say: “If your employees hate you, they will do the bare minimum to keep their jobs. However if they love you, they will go above and beyond when it comes to their jobs”

          • Sardonicuss

            That works out okay at high vol stores. The last store manager I knew worked at a relatively low vol (I think they called them 3rd tier for their pricing structure at the time).
            He was told during training that he would be expected to do a minimum of 60 hours per week in the store, and when he got his store, it worked out closer to 80. Their scheduling program would plug him, and the other salaried personnel in if hours to sales vol were running to high on the front end, so the hours he worked allowed them to cut some hourly employee off the schedule without having to pay for it.

          • AngryBlakGuy

            …not sure if you are referring to Mal-Wart, but I can tell you one thing when you have a half way decent management team. We covered the “holy shit” out of each other. A 100 million plus store should never operate with 2-3 managers(bare min 5-6, emphasis on BARE) on a Saturday or Sunday. But because we knew everyone deserves a work life balance we did it for each other. It’s part of the reason I defend Mal-Wart on some occasions, because we treated everyone like family. The problem is higher up the corporate ladder

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      And would have likely cut their employee turnover and “shrinkage” enough to cover that 10%

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    I remember when this guy was on undercover boss pretending to care for his employees.

    • dianebk

      That show is completely staged. My BFF worked at Loehmann’s when an episode of “Undercover Boss” was filmed there. The production company had employees messing up tables and dumping clothes in the fitting rooms so the boss would have things to do on camera, like folding clothes and putting rejected try-ons back on hangers.

      Yeah – they knew he was there. The PAs shooing customers out of the way of the “hidden” cameras and the forms they made everybody sign in advance kind of gave it away.

  • AncienReggie

    Um, Sonic. I had an unpleasant experience after dining at a Sonic about 10 years ago, hard upon the heels of a good experience at a Sonic about 25 years ago.

    But the thing about Sonic, see, if those two twerps in their television ads. I think I’d be willing to do 30 days in stir for the pleasure of beating the shit out of those guys.

    • Logic of Color

      The redhead dude was funny as hell in Get Hard

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I agree! I’ll share a cell with you if you let me get the dark-haired one in the nuts with a hard object full of votes.

    • The other couple ads (with a lady and a bald guy in it) had my friend in it but Sonic canned him because he also had a regular gig in fake news bits for The Onion that “offended” a “customer.” Don’t hate the guys-in-Sonic-commercials; hate the game.

  • Michael Rush

    The technology that covered White Castle restaurants in white enamel on steel panels turned into this all steel home , the LUSTRON !

    http://s9.postimg.org/n44898ajz/lustron.jpg

    • Hutch

      Is that in the Lehigh Valley in PA? I know there is a whole neighborhood there with steel houses. Pretty amazing!

    • SDGeoff

      Fascinating. I just googled it and will go read all about it.

      • Michael Rush

        I looked at one in Danville VA maybe 8 , it was for sale for 20,000 , the were giving some away at Quantico a few years ago , of 37 I think only one got taken .

        • SDGeoff

          They look pretty neat.

          • willi0000000

            they rust.

            [ my daughter rented one for a while ]

          • SDGeoff

            I wondered about that.

          • Michael Rush

            it’s enamel on steel which doesn’t rust , but inside closet doors and some other parts are just painted so they do rust .

    • Bemused

      Looks like the houses in Fallout 4. I don’t recommend hiding in one during an apocalypse, you’ll end up a skeleton holding a gun.

  • baconzgood

    I haven’t been to a White Castle since I heard “Mike D” from the Beastie Boys got thrown out.

    • Msmlg1979

      Did he fight too hard for his right to PAAAARRR-TAY?

      • baconzgood

        It was on the same album.

  • nmmagyar

    Wouldn’t a 50% raise the price of their “burgers” to .75?

    • Tony Alexander

      with tax!

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    $15 an hour?! At that rate, our employees will be able to afford to eat here!

  • arglebargle

    Mebby they should change the name to Old White Man Castle.

  • Tony Alexander

    been called a pain in the ass, but never insufferable!

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Supersize the lies.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      “White Castle fries only come in one size.”
      -the late, great MCA

      • Vecciojohn LLC

        And go straight to your thighs.

        – The Notorious Me

  • chascates

    At least provide health care and sick days. I don’t like people who are sick preparing my food because they can’t take a day off or go to the doctor. And since a fast food meal is already approaching $10 I’ll gladly pay $12 for a healthy, happy, better-paid employee to make it for me.
    I shouldn’t eat so much junk food any way.

  • Anarchy Pony

    I like how cutting executive pay is not ever an option…

    • Shan

      HEY THEY DESERVE THAT PAY FOR MAKING ALL GOOD LIFE CHOICES

      • nmmagyar

        Starting with their choice of parents

        • TheBidenator

          Lucky sperm club, ftw….always FTW.

        • J.Bo

          That proves the existence of their god.

      • TheBidenator

        PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND BOOTSTRAPPING, LOTS OF BOOTSTRAPPING.

      • Well look at me. I was stuck in a dead-end job living in a tiny rural community that made me miserable and making less than $25000 a year, so I grabbed my bootstraps and went back to school and worked a variety of part-time jobs to build up my resume and now…I’m in debt, working as a freelancer, and living with my mom!

        That doesn’t sound right. Oh God…

        • Shan

          You forgot to be a CFO!

    • TheBidenator

      My favorite is when executive bonuses remain intact even when the company loses a shitpile of money because retention- if you lose money, you don’t need to retain the people who caused you to lose it, dipshits. It’s all another good ole’ boys network basically run by guys who sit on each others boards.

      • calliecallie

        “guys who sit on each others boards”
        Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

        • J.Bo

          The kids also call it the Golden Handjob.

      • Naytch

        Every year Excellus Blue CrossShield raises rates, never cuts executive salaries (top 5 get million+ each). Pretty good retention if you can get it.

    • J.Bo

      Corporate Capitalism has its own law of gravity.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    There was a White Castle across the street from the freshman dorm when I was in college well over a half-century ago. We referred to it as either the Albino Bastille or the White Death, depending upon the state of your intestines. It was decent for coffee at 3 AM while pulling an all-nighter but was otherwise to be avoided if possible. That particular establishment is now history, and it seems as if the rest of them should follow suit if they can’t afford to pay a half-decent wage. Put their execs on welfare.

  • Blank Ron

    There’s a White Castle not far from me, about an hour or so away in Port Huron, Michigan. Never been tempted to go in. REALLY not tempted now.

  • Flashman

    I never went to White Castle for the food. Now I can’t go there for the math lesson, either.

  • witsended

    The only fast food I have eaten for years is the breakfast from a local pub. Which is cheaper than a McDonald’s offering.

    YOUR UNLIMITED BREAKFAST OPTIONS

    Fill up on as many helpings of bacon, sausage, free-range eggs, hash browns, plum tomatoes, beans, toast and fried bread as you want. Just £3.99 for adults, and £2.99 for kids.
    With unlimited tea and coffee added it works out at under $9.00

    • Blank Ron

      I don’t suppose you have a room for rent?

    • natoslug

      As someone who too often eats for the sheer pleasure of the food experience rather than to satisfy my hunger, that place sounds dangerous. I’d find myself wedged in the doorway within weeks.

      • witsended

        After eating there I don’t want to eat for the rest of the day which even things out.
        My own preference is to have the full breakfast first, then second visit is for a plate of beans on toast with bacon and egg topping.

    • h4rr4r

      Yeah but real bacon or that BS you and the canadians call bacon?

      • witsended

        Not sure about my commonwealth cousins, but bacon here comes in three main types, Back bacon, from the Loin, Streaky bacon from the Belly, same cut as most of yours.
        Then my favourite Middle bacon, a long rasher cut from both the Loin and the Belly that is half back, half streaky. Cooked the right way you end up with a crispy fatty half married to a softer meatier half.

        • h4rr4r

          No, real bacon is only belly.

          • witsended

            Streaky bacon on its own has only one purpose to add flavour or moisture to other foods. Use it when roasting poultry, pigs in blankets, or with burgers and if one is posh for lining ones Pate terrine.

          • h4rr4r

            Stuff like that is why your empire fell.

      • brittany

        What you call Canadian bacon in the States, we call back bacon, or ham. The stuff in our stores that just says “bacon” on the package is the same as what I’m assuming you mean by “real bacon”.
        The name actually comes from peameal bacon, which is an unsmoked, wet pickled pork loin that has been rolled in yellow peameal (though they generally use cornmeal now) that originated in Ontario. Apparently that inspired someone south of the border to slap a sticker on a cheap ham and market it as “Canadian bacon” to justify a price bump.
        A good peameal roast, cooked right, is fucking delicious.

        • h4rr4r

          You folks call them rashers. However Real bacon does not have loin meat, just belly.

          • brittany

            For the most part, aside from on the occasional restaurant menu, “we folks” don’t use the term “rasher”, we use slice or strip, when referring to sliced bacon…which is side bacon cut only from the pork belly. Canada and the US are the only two countries where the term “bacon” specifically means side bacon.
            Middle bacon, which has both pork belly and loin meat, is actually not that common to find up here.

          • h4rr4r

            Ah, with your name I thought English expat in the frozen north.

          • brittany

            Nope, most of my great, great, great grandparents were, though.

    • jmk

      I forget who it was who said that the English are depressed because breakfast is the best thing they’ll see all day, and they can’t have it at every meal.

  • Abyss

    “they got to 50% less through careful quantitative analysis and more by throwing their own poop at a blown-up picture of a needy family and seeing what number the splatter pattern most resembled.”

    I love math.

    • natoslug

      I dunno, that sounds like pretty shitty math to me.

  • Biff52

    I’ve seen White Castle burgers in the frozen foods section of a market before, but was never tempted to actually try them. I’d rather drive a couple hundred miles to the nearest In-N-Out.

    • Jennifer R

      All in n out really is just a greasier smaller wendies.

      • Karen Marie

        Bite your tongue!

    • bupkus23

      I’ve tried ’em ( used to see the restaurants all over NYC when I was a kid visiting relatives ), but they’re not worth the money – If the restaurants charged what they charge per tiny little slider in the frozen foods, they could pay their employees much more than minimum wage.
      Maybe their CEO should try to shift their entire business to frozen foods?

      • ahughes798

        The only thing I’ve found White Casket good for is food after a gig. If you’re drunk. And you’ve exhausted all other options. They were all over Kentucky and southern Ohio when I was a sprog.

    • dianebk

      In-N-Out burgers are so meh as to barely register on the taste-o-meter. Like I said elsewhere in this thread…I just don’t get the cult status that place has.

      (And that “secret” menu? Ain’t no secret if everybody knows about it.)

  • MarkM

    All of these fast food douchebags showing their utter contempt for facts, logic and their own workers is having at least two effects in my case. One is that they get NONE of my money – 0%, none, nada. And two, my health is improved by not eating their greasy, mediocre, sodium laced swill.
    Thanks douchebags!

  • Randy Riddle

    White Castle can always move to NC. Within a few months, with all the boycotts McCrory created over HB2, we’ll be suffering an economic collapse, eating Hobo Beans, and ready to take any job we can find for pennies on the dollar.

  • Scooby

    I don’t understand this article. My son just started a part time job at McDonalds yesterday and already he gets $22 an hour plus full medical & dental with no deductible or co-pay and full college tuition and a housing stipend too.

    • beingreleased

      Thanks, Obama.

      • Scooby

        Thanks, Heinz-Fischer

      • Scooby

        Thanks, Heinz Fischer.

    • Karen Marie

      It is possible he works at a franchise, not a company-owned store, and the franchisee understands s/he gets better results/less turnover by paying a decent wage.

      • Scooby

        They just give him the minimum required by law.

  • BadExampleMan

    There’s always Krystals, White Castle copycats. Fun fact: there is exactly one city in This Great Land Of Ours where Krystals and WC coexist – Nashville.

    • James Baker

      Just moved to Nashville about 8 months ago. There’s actually an intersection with a Krystals and WC opposite each other. I don’t know why.

      • Mimihaha

        Do the managers spend their days glaring at each other?

        I hope so.

  • ryp

    This is doubly stupid, as White Castle has a long held reputation for paying its people better than the average fast food chain, so presumably this would have less impact on them than than other gross burger purveyors.

    White Castle is also more a Midwest than NY chain, headquartered in Columbus OH, where apparently the city charter forbids opening a restaurant that isn’t part of a chain.

    It’s also America’s test market to see just how disgusting fast food can get and have customers still demand it.

    • bupkus23

      <<>>
      I always thought of it as an NYC chain, since I saw so many when visiting relatives there – but your statement made me look it up – the first WC was actually in Wichita, KS!
      Holy Brownback, Batman – ANOTHER reason not to patronize them….

  • TheBidenator

    I know this is a stupid question but I’ve often wondered, why do conservatives hate paying people decent wages so much? I know their argument is, “well the government shouldn’t be telling people what the floor and ceiling wages are” but the translation for that is they don’t want to pay people decent wages. It makes economic sense- if you pay people decent wages they pay for stuff with those wages over credit which creates a more sustainable system and as a bonus it shrinks the amount of personal debt. This in turn lengthens a boom cycle. Now, obviously you can’t just keep increasing wages to maintain a cycle because there is a threshold of diminishing returns where much like full employment it hampers the system but they NEVER want wages to go up….I just don’t get it.

    • beingreleased

      I remember Romney at a fundraiser at a rich person’s house saying “Liberals think no one should live like this. Conservatives think everyone should.” That was possibly the least honest thing he ever said, considering his desire to spend as little as possible on employee salaries, etc.

    • willi0000000

      they don’t want wages to go up because THAT MEANS THERE’S LESS FOR ME!!!!! . . . they’re scared shitless that one single cent might slip out of their personal control . . . and those pee-ons have no idea how to invest that cent anyway they’ll just waste it by spending it on something.

      [ zero-sum game mindset combined with a complete lack of understanding of how the market for goods drives the economy ]

    • Relativicus

      Because talking about money is crass. Plus, they believe anyone with a job should just be thankful they have that job. Employment is its own reward, as it were.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They want the help to suffer. They can’t enjoy their grand meals unless they know others are starving.

    • SessileRaptor

      The thing is, even if they understand the whole “People with money can buy things” argument, every single conservative businessman hopes everyone else will pay their employees a living wage while he gets away with paying as little as possible. Short term thinking, entirely focused on maximizing their personal fortune, at this point they’ve been drinking the “free market is god” kool aid for so long I seriously question if they’re even capable of thinking any other way.

      • dianebk

        Off-topic, but I CAN’T STAND IT when people say, “drank the Kool-Aid” when dismissing other schools of thought.

        But not because of the dismissal thing.

        But because I bet a good 80% of the people throwing the phrase around HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IT’S IN REFERENCE TO.

        I find THAT highly offensive – almost more offensive than whichever side of the argument I’m against.

        (That and “sheeple”. Oh for fuck’s sake, I fucking hate that fucking word and all you fuck-faced fucks who use it can just go fuck yourselves. Get a dictionary and learn some new words.)

    • Jonny On Maui

      There is a section of bosses that actually believe the troops aren’t happy unless they’re complaining. So as long as the employees are grouching they’re all smiles as ‘the train is running smoothly’.

      It usually ends with a grenade under a desk in the best cases…

    • J.Bo

      Punishment & reward are central to the conservatard philosophy: If you make a lotta dough you are self-evidently a Good Person chosen for rewards from the Invisible Hand of the Market (I.H.M. aka “god”). But if you make a shitty wage, that proves you are a Shitty Person that deserves nothing but punishment and degradation.

      So if you raise the shitty wages even a little you risk giving Shitty People hope, self-esteem, good nutrition, education, healthcare and all the other stuff the I.H.M. has set aside for the rich Good People… In other words, it defies the “natural order” and “mocks god”… and besides, how else ya gonna keep score? Because life is nothing if not a competition. It’s in the bible, it’s all Jesus ever talked about: screweth the poor, hideth your profits overseas.

  • Jennifer R

    Sonic is legitimately the beat fast food. Those onion rings are to kill for.

  • Callyson

    Now, MAYBE, because White Castle is an outlier in the industry for selling their items so cheaply, their margins are different.

    In fairness, I went to White Castle once and can vouch for the fact that they have already made all of the possible cutbacks in their food budget…

    http://38.media.tumblr.com/821244886ecc97f08f75f76647de663e/tumblr_n9vo6fl7e21smcbm7o1_500.gif

    • willi0000000

      wrong! . . . they can always make the holes in the burgers bigger!!!!!

  • lroom

    Did someone say Sonic?

    • thewitchqueen74

      Chili cheese tatertots even….hot damn…

    • theblackdog

      I wish they would hurry up and finish building the one near my house. Footlong coney, tots, and Rt. 44 Cherry Limes are in my future!

  • limberrat

    Thank God I live in CA and get the options of the Habit, Five Guys, In-N-Out & Sonic. Been to a WC once – that was enough.

    • jmk

      We have Five Guys here in Noo Yawk also too… and while we DO have White Castle, we’re not completely crazy – we drove Jack-in-the-Box out, after all.

      • limberrat

        You guys drove Jacques in the Craques out?

        • jmk

          Yep. There were two near my town when I was in high school, when getting drunk at the beach and then going to Jack in the Box for tacos was a summer ritual. Both of them closed…one because the fire department in my town bought the land and knocked it down for a parking lot, and the other because the drug dealers in the parking lot were making more money than the restaurant was. I just googled them, and the closest ones are in New Jersey.

  • tinker12

    If minimum wage kept up with inflation, it’d be over $20 an hour, so STFU all of you cheap jerkholes — http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/13/minimum-wage-productivity_n_2680639.html .

    • Angela Ruzzo

      That’s an interesting figure. I’ve been using two websites to calculate inflation, and when I enter the minimum wage in 1974when I started college (1.90) , I get $9.20/hr today. It’s not entirely relevant, however, because certain things have gone up in price much more than other things, such as rent and food, while mortgage interest rates have gone way down. I was making $2.10/hr in 1976 and was able to support myself at a minimal comfort level with one roommate in a tiny 2-bed apartment, but I didn’t have a car and had no extra expenses such as cable TV. I remember that the food budget was a challenge on that wage, and I did not eat as well as I should have. I’m sure it’s much worse today.

      I could probably live today on $9.20/hr if I lived at the same level, but living without a car at my age would be a challenge, and I don’t think I could stand to have a roommate again.

      What I find most interesting is that apartment rents in my town are now much higher than a mortgage payment would be on a similarly-sized small house, whereas in 1980 my brother, who earned a very good salary, could not afford to buy a house because mortgage interest rates were about 16%, but he could afford a large, modern apartment with ease. Have landlords become insanely greedy? I don’t know.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    People don’t go to White Castle because it’s cheap. They don’t go there because the food is good, either. They go there because they have an obsession about White Castle, which I found unfathomable as I thought the food there was pretty mediocre the one time I went. I know about 15 people who are White Castle enthusiasts. They are all men. Is that relevant? I don’t know.

    • Politics_Nerd

      It’s because nobody, ever, goes there sober. And drug/nk bonding is a powerful force. The men-only thing has to do with gender-specific stupidity.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s an interesting comment. The 9 guys in the IT department I worked with went there almost every day for lunch. Now and then they would go to Burger King for a break.

        • Politics_Nerd

          Well, that truly is a mystery. I can understand your fascination with the phenomenon. #wut

    • motmelere

      I ate that stuff once, it tasted slightly better than Epsom salts & had the same effect. Maybe some folks just prefer a hardy laxative.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I have this SNEAKING suspicion the attraction might have something to do with the fact that the burgers are really tiny. Guys can order 10 and sit there and eat them one at a time and not look quite so much like pigs. That’s what the guys I used to work with would do.

    • Barley_Brains

      OK. It’s true. The best White Castle meal ever had by anyone was enjoyed during a alcohol/weed/testosterone-filled weekend in high school. Usually consumed in the wee hours of the morning. But, because we are men and we have excellent memory selection, we always forget the projectile vomiting of 18-partially chewed sliders the next morning.

      • Once&futureFred

        We did get ’em “by the bag” in HS, lol.
        They weren’t bad actually, if a perforated rectangular patty is your thing…I do believe the draw was how cheap they were, this was in DC back in the ’70s.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Thanks, that explains a lot. See my reply to motmeiere below.

        There was no White Castle in the town where I went to high school, so this phenomenon was unknown to me.

    • SessileRaptor

      I use to go there somewhat frequently back when I was younger, these days I find that every few years I start thinking “Huh, I guess I need to eat some White Castle now…” and the thought won’t go away until I do. My ever patient wife puts up with it and we buy a sack, I eat it and I’m good for another few years. It’s weird but there it is.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I can understand that. Every now and then, maybe once a year, I get a yearning for a McDonald’s burger, and the idea won’t go away until I get one. I don’t even like them. But when I was a very little girl, and my parents didn’t have much money, we’d “go out to eat” at McDonald’s. They didn’t have eat-in then, so we sat in the car and talked and laughed and my father made silly jokes, and my brother would try to steal my french fries. It was a fun family thing, and I have fond memories of it, so I suppose my once-a-year craving is a comfort thing, which may explain why a lot of older guys I know crave White Castle every now and then.

      • YourNameHere

        I occasionally crave disgusting food I don’t like either. I have no idea.

        • SessileRaptor

          See I actually like the damn things, I just know to mostly avoid them because I’m not a teenager with an iron gut anymore. What’s weird is how I only crave them every few years.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Would this be anything like Paris Hilton being famous for being famous?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Something like that. But there is also the Grease Factor with White Castle, which Paris doesn’t have.

        • MrCanoehead

          Are you sure?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m sure. Paris is made of plastic.

    • dianebk

      It’s like this Southern California obsession with In-N-Out Burger. I tried their burgers exactly twice – bought by other people who swore up and down that I would see the face of God and never want to eat another burger from anywhere else ever again – and found that, no, the second burger did not impress me any more than the first one had.

      I found them to be rather tasteless, and the french fries are just eh. The whole cult thing…I just don’t get it.

      And yeah…I just realized that all the people I know who rave about In-N-Out Burger are men. Must be the name.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        What a weird name. Why don’t they just call it “Slam Bam” (Thank You Ma’am)?

  • I thought White Castle was a midwestern thing, too. I looked it up and there’s only one in Manhattan. Based on Google Maps’ red dot, it appears to be IN the Lincoln Tunnel.

    • Barley_Brains

      It’s a drive thru. Duh.

  • timpundit

    Still, not as horrible as Arby’s.

  • Calli Arcale

    There’s been a White Castle juuuuuust over the border outside of my old hometown (West St Paul, MN, which, naturally, is due south of St Paul) since like forever. I’ve eaten there once, and was unimpressed. The burgers were weird. I think they’re steamed or something? The onion flavor was nice, but that’s about all I remember about it. I’d rather go to McDonald’s if I want a drive through burger. But man, the fanaticsm of some White Castle fans! I guess it’s one of those things that just really nail certain people’s taste buds just the right way, because fans of White Castle are absolutely nuts about it.

    Random funny thing: my uncle made a sci-fi parody movie with some of his buddies back in about, oh, 1979 or so, called “Spaceships”. At one point, the Starship Enterprise falls into a time warp and ends up in the 20th Century. (Hey, they called it *years* before Star Trek IV came out!) They are critically low on supplies, so they land it at the Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport via the magic of paper cutouts. Then Spock and Kirk go to White Castle to order one million sliders. :-P

    • I remember going to one in Utica, NY back about 2 decades ago, and yes, their burgers are steamed. Not anything I care for, to be honest, and I’d never go out of my way to seek them out.

    • proudgrampa

      Wait a minute. West St Paul is South of St Paul??? WTF?

      • Calli Arcale

        Yep. Weird but true. ;-) Look it up on Google Maps. The only city that borders St Paul on the west is Minneapolis, and West St Paul is due south of downtown St Paul. For extra fun, there is also a South St Paul, which is also south of St Paul.

        There *is* an actual reason, of course. West St Paul basically grew up as the overflow from St Paul’s West Side. So, why is St Paul’s West Side called that, given its very definitely on the south rather than the west of the city? Because it’s the portion of St Paul that’s on the west bank of the Mississippi River, which makes a big loop through the Twin Cities.

        • proudgrampa

          Thank you. Now I am totally confused and will consume another martini. Cheers!

          • Calli Arcale

            :-D Well, I’m glad I was able to help you justify a martini. A job well done!

  • Hardly Ideal

    After an exhaustive three minutes spent on Google and a calculator, I’ve concluded that a 50% increase in most of White Castle’s menu would be measured in quarters. As in shiny $0.25 coins.

    As a certain gun-toting bear of a cartoon Russian once said, Cry some more.

  • GDleftyPart2

    Sonic is king and by the by, fuck Papa John right in his tomato sauce stained ear along with White Castle.

  • HanBarbara

    Real concern: “It would be catastrophic to my stock options! I might have to actually work to get my performance bonus this year!”

  • ForCry

    White Castle cannot make the holes in their slider patties any bigger to pay their employees enough to be able to afford a bag of sliders.

  • goonemeritus

    What you fail to understand about White Castle is that their business model is different. Where most restaurants split their costs between labor, ingredients, taxes and infrastructure White castle doesn’t. If you have ever eaten there it’s obvious their raw ingredient is mostly ground rat meat. As to infrastructure most franchisees haven’t been updated since the Truman administration and taxes require profit so—-

  • Serolf Divad

    Srsly, guys… If you force White Castle to pay their workers more they’ll have no choice but to make their burgers even smaller.

    • Lily412

      Everyone knows smaller things are cuter, so they can call them “Li’l Cuties” and market them with glitter and ponies. A whole new demographic!

      • Objectifer

        This is good news for Donald Trump.

  • Mimihaha

    We have White Castle in Chicago. I honestly don’t know why anyone would call that a burger.

    I also don’t understand why anyone would eat at a chain in the city. All of the bars have much better food.

    • Skadi

      When you’re working a ten-hour day, you have only a half-hour for lunch, you have only a couple bucks to spend and White Castle is within two blocks, those sliders begin to look more and more like burgers.

    • Lily412

      There are a bunch of good places in the downtown area where I live, but chain places do tend to be faster and sometimes less crowded. If I feel like grabbing something and going home, I’ll hit up a chain. Plus the hours are better. The taco place with the awesome black bean and corn salad isn’t open at 11pm.

  • Paperless Tiger

    That’s a throwaway line. If they can’t pay a fair wage and compete, somebody else will. That’s what they’re really worried about. Raising the minimum wage is probably a good way to get rid of some of the corporate cruft that has built up over the years.

    • Lily412

      Yeah, I think they are full of shit. The two BARE MINIMUM things you need to run a restaurant are 1) food and 2) people to cook it. With food trucks you don’t even really need premises anymore. If you can’t cut corners somewhere else in your business model (*coughexecutivepaycough*), you’re either massively inept or your pants are on fire.

      • MrCanoehead

        you’re either massively inept or your pants are on fire.

        Could be both.

      • Poe’s Law

        You said pants.

        Oops, so did I.

        Oops

        • kareema

          Hur. You said oops.

    • notfromvenus

      I think these guys are forgetting that their competitors will also have to raise prices a bit. If all fast food places raise prices by 10%, they’ll still have the same competition.

  • HogeyeGrex

    let us assume the percentage White Castle would have to raise their prices is different from other fast fooderies.

    Well, it’s not like there’s much in the way of food costs, what with using sawdust for the buns and gray, rat meat patties. Seriously, those things are gross.

    • Well, you know, what with all those pesky “sanitation” regulations, the population of rats are getting more difficult to trap, so the cost goes up.

  • harryeagar

    Sliders today are priced at 72 cents, up from 3 originally. That’s 2400% even without paying the help anything

  • Courser

    I’ve eaten the greasy mini-burgers at White Castle. I was on a road trip, saw a White Castle and decided to give a try. Yuuuuuck! A pile of greasy, limp pseudo-burgers is not my thing.

    I know they’re iconic but geez, if they can’t pay a decent wage, they deserve to go out of business.

    • Downriverite

      Yeah, if you weren’t wasted, or you weren’t heading home from a wedding at 3 a.m., they’re not worth it.

      But those times? At those times, they are oddly magnificent.

    • Roadstergal

      You eat them at 1am and poop them out at 1:15.

  • BeaBull Apocalypse

    They could cut their prices by 90% and I’m still never stopping there outside of a blackout. And since I’m too old to drink and drive I guess that means I’m never stopping. Status quo maintained!

  • whitroth

    1. As I have a number of more than sufferable friend in NYC, piss off.
    2. White Castle’s not just in NYC, there are some as far out as Chicago.
    3. Sliders… my son, when he was a teen, bought a bag of sliders with some friends one day in January (in Chicago). When they couldn’t eat any more, they made a pillar of snow, and discovered that sliders burn, very well, they’re so greasy….

    Take that as a comment on White Castle’s menu….

    mark

  • JParkerSD46

    If White Castle execs do provide data to prove their 50% claim, Wonkette can just head over the the nearest WC, order up a few sliders, and eat said crow. Why do you think their prices are so low to begin with?

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    By the way, if you want to try White Castle, just go to the grocery store and get the frozen burgers, I have tried both and they tasted the same, I think they just get them from the same place.

  • Tony Bell

    White Castle SUCKS, always has, always will.

  • Gregory Brown

    1) White Castle does not serve actual food. There is no 2)

  • Ionlylikecats

    To anyone saying the minimum wage increase is killing jobs in Seattle: stop by job boards for Seattle. Thank you,

    Signed everyone who lives within 50 miles of Seattle and has seen so many job listings heads FIGURATIVELY exploded

  • Kooolest G

    gee I wonder if there’s somewhere else they could cut costs, hmmmmmmmm

  • retiredeng

    Who eats at White Castle?

    • RockdudeD
      • retiredeng

        Oh, yeah… stoners!

        Or the old “Buzzy’s Roast Beef” at Charles MBTA station in Boston back in the day…

        • RockdudeD

          I take it you’ve never seen “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle” before.

          • retiredeng

            I have seen it and it’s pretty funny. My reference to Buzzy’s was in the same vein. The food tasted great if you were out late. Drunk, high or both.

    • Zhu Bajie

      Popeye’s pal Wimpy.

  • guppy06

    who’s up for some coneys at Sonic

    w00t, jailbait on wheels!

    Er… I mean… carry on.

  • Roscoe Gibson

    I don’t want to resurrect an old article comment section, and it is a little off topic, but there was a link so I’m going to comment it anyway. The reason Sonic’s CEO can be so caviler about minimum wage increases, aside from the obvious facts they are needed and would help every minimum wage worker, is because Sonic “carhops” are paid as tipped workers not minimum wage workers. Now this seems to be left up to the franchisee a bit but it is true for the Sonics in my area, ruralish East Texas, so your experience may vary.
    I found this out by asking because I had no idea if they were or were not considered “tipped”.

  • jmhm

    White Castle sells 2 inch square paper thin burgers with holes in them for 75¢. The plastic pickle in a White Castle slider weighs more than the burger, and the bun is puffed up like a marshmallow. Their food costs have to be less than 10%. I think they can afford to pay a little more without doubling the price to $1.50 for two ounces of meat on a fraction of a slice of wonder bread.

  • Oneofthebobs

    It sounds like thir current business model relies on their employees to buy me a hamburger.

  • Poe’s Law

    Coneys?

    They serve rabbit at Sonic?

    • catch22

      Only by the brace.

      • Poe’s Law

        Brace?

        What ask they sell stuff for the handicapped too?

  • vivian

    “Maybe those numbers exist, and if we ever see them, we will happily eat crow. ”

    On the upside, eating crow is probably better than eating anything from White Castle.

  • kareema

    Shame-faced admission: I was sick with what turned out to be a bacterial sinus infection (which I wouldn’t wish on anybody except dipshit repubs I hear about on the TV, radio, internets), the only thing that sounded good to eat was White Castle frozen sliders from our local store. Thus, I got some calories into me while I wasn’t curled up in a ball of pained agony and could get the antibiotics down without throwing up.

    Now, of course, I look at them and feel sick again.

    Do I get absolution?

    • Frank Underboob

      If you get that sick, I figure that you get absolution from anything at all that you let slide at the time.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    The general rule of thumb is that, if you can read the White Castle menu without putting a hand over one eye, you shouldn’t be eating there.

    • WaytoomanyUIDs

      I can’t imagine reading the White Castle menu without vomiting, myself. It makes _all_ other fast food places look like Organic Whole Food Slow Food restaurants by comparison

  • DaveM

    This is the same thing that has been working for employers for many years. If we don’t pay slave wages we have to charge you, the consumer, more. It is a scam using scare tactics to convince the general population they will be raped by business if they have to pay a decent wage. These businesses are already screwing us over to increase shareholder value. They are screwing over their employees to increase the salary of the top people without loosing that shareholder value. They want to burn the candle at both ends. Keep expenses low and profit up but we need productivity. We don’t want to pay anymore for that productivity. It is no wonder employers gripe about loyalty issues. When one treats people like shit they have a tendency to not like you very much. Then they move on to the next skinflint cheap ass fuck.

    • TorchBearer2

      The perk being, if forced to raise prices, they can jump up their prices even more to be even more profitable.

  • TorchBearer2

    I am curious, with a raise in pay, does it scare off national chain places? That arguably would be nice if it allows smaller places to compete and offer more variety.
    Though, in California, this is getting interesting with the pay raise. Friend of mine works in tech and their QA dept is paid something like $10/hr and is pretty much just HS grads and college students. He has been forced by his company to look at outsourcing their jobs because, between the mandatory sick leave and now the pay raise, they are less interested in keeping the staff domestic.

    • trxr

      No, it’s kind of the reverse, because large chains can afford to use expensive technology (fancy ovens, grills, factory-prepared food, sophisticated ordering systems) to reduce the amount of labour they need to use. And, of course, they’ll locate food prep factories (the fries-makers, etc etc) in areas where wages are low.

      So for small owners, their labour costs are relatively high for their output. Personally, I think they should sell that as a benefit – hand-made, freshly-prepared, custom-made, speciality menu items, whatever – to their customers. I also think that if you can’t pay fair labour costs in your basic diner, you’re in wrong business.

      • TorchBearer2

        Though the large chains, presumably, get that equipment at a better cost since they order in much larger volumes, that and centralizing food production (at the ingredient side) also allows them to save on food since the company can get volume discounts.
        But anyway, the reason I was thinking it might scare off, or at least make them less interested, the bigger places is that entering such a market means it will make less profit. They have multiple options on how to deal with it, such as raising prices in states with higher min wage. But, the most profitable way to do it would be to apply that hike to all the states and say it is to cover losses. So, now you are not only breaking even but also bumping up the profits even further.

  • enfilmigult

    White Castle, that restaurant your
    insufferable NY friends (as if you have any other kind of NY friends)
    talk up incessantly but that you’ve never actually seen in person in
    your entire life…

    It’s revenge for having to hear about In-n-Out every fifteen minutes.

Previous articleTrump Buddy Roger Stone Says Clintons Murdered JFK Jr., Maybe For Kicks
Next articleHere Is Your Deep Dive Into The Ted Cruz Dildo Brief