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ayotte hassan

Happy Easter, Wonkers! We hope you have all been inspired by the annual rites celebrating the rebirth of pagan fertility gods as distilled through Christian cultural hegemony. Or that you’ll at least chow down on half-priced chocolate bunnies tomorrow. Had we been thinking, we’d have saved last week’s piece on Russ Feingold’s attempt to win back his Senate seat for this week, so we could run it with a headline like “Behold the Risen Feingold!” Tempting though it was to simply re-up that story with a new hed, we’ll instead bring you a profile of the New Hampshire race for the Senate and hope the Democrats can resurrect their majority. You can imagine both candidates in Easter bonnets if that helps you feel festive.

Our plucky competitors this week are both veteran New Hampshire politicians: Republican incumbent Sen. Kelly Ayotte, who’s seeking a second term in the “World’s Greatest Deliberative Body” (we chuckle every week we write that), and Democratic Gov. Maggie Hassan, who almost certainly could have won a third term as governor but decided to challenge Ayotte for 2016. (Trivia Fact: New Hampshire governors only have two-year terms. They don’t trust government there, do they?) Both candidates are well-liked in New Hampshire, with roughly similar favorability ratings (Ayotte 45 percent, Hassan 43 percent) in October 2015, when Hassan announced she’d take on Ayotte. Get ready for Big Spending in the coming months: Hassan was enthusiastically recruited by national Democrats, and Ayotte has the backing of the National Rifle Association and the Koch Brothers. Please feel free to boo and hiss theatrically; that support is a ready-made campaign issue for Hassan. Money? Oh, yes, there will be SO MUCH MONEY FREE SPEECH in this race:

Each candidate raised $2 million in the last quarter of 2015 and people following the campaign expect the race will ratchet up after the February presidential primary … Already, $2 million in outside money has dropped in the state, more than during the entirety of Ayotte’s first campaign in 2010, and millions more is predicted by party strategists.

So who the heck are these people? Nationally, Ayotte has the higher profile, if only for her hawkish devotion to the militarist agenda of her bestest Senate Republican pals, John McCain and Lindsey Graham. How close are they in their belief that bombing the shit out of the Enemy is the best way to solve problems in the Middle East? They’re such great pals that they called themselves — at least for a time — the “Three Amigos,” although it was never clear which one was supposed to be Martin Short. Mostly Ayotte was a poor replacement for Joe Lieberman, and you always got the impression that McCain was on the verge of simply saying “Me, Lindsey, and Whatsername, Where’s The Girl?” The three were united in condemning the Obama administration over Benghazi, although the absolute worst thing they could pin on Team Obama was that five days after the attack, Susan Rice went on Sunday talk shows and said the attack had occurred during a protest against an anti-Muslim video, when in fact Benghazi was the one place in the Muslim world with no such protests. As we noted at the time, while that post-attack intelligence failure remains the greatest foreign policy disaster of the early 21st Century, all three senators also thought the Iraq War was based on adequate (but slightly flawed) intelligence.

In domestic policy, Ayotte co-sponsored an exciting April 2015 Republican version of an equal pay law for the ladies, which was very commendable and almost feministy, at least until you started looking at the details: unlike the Democrats’ Equal Pay Act, which Ayotte and her pals blocked three times, the Republican proposal pretty much said “equal pay is good” while stripping out any enforcement mechanisms or research on whether the law was actually resulting in equal pay. So by borrowing one element from the Democratic proposal, the Republican Ladies’ Auxiliary could claim it was offering a “bipartisan compromise” for equal pay, and why are those Democrats being so partisan by not supporting it? Ayotte played a similar game in the fall, praising working parents who do so much to put food on their families and encouraging them to take some “me time” to recharge their batteries, while voting against paid sick leave and continuing to oppose the Paycheck Fairness Act. You see, she likes parents having some “me time,” but only if their employers decide to let them have it — mandating it would only wreck the economy, as it has in all of the industrialized nations that have somehow managed to institute paid family leave without collapsing. Oh, yeah, and she also thinks it would be a good idea to raise taxes on immigrant families, because she is very pro-family unless your poor family includes anchor babies.

Not surprisingly, Ayotte also opposes the Affordable Care Act’s contraception mandate, even as she put forward an “alternative” that would replace the free Obamacare slut pills with the option of letting women buy contraceptives with their own money, thus giving them a “choice.” The supposed “improvement” here is that many slut pills which currently require prescriptions would be made available over the counter, so FREEDOM. Naturally, the bill to decrease access to contraception was called the “Allowing Greater Access to Safe and Effective Contraception Act.” Kelly Ayotte may not be the greatest advocate for women’s issues out there, but in only six short years she’s mastered the art of Luntzing It Up. Which reminds us that Ayotte once posed with a giant dildo, for Science:

Ribbed for the 50-Foot Woman's pleasure
Ribbed for the 50-Foot Woman’s pleasure

And now we get to the part where we explain why Maggie Hassan should be a U.S. Senator beyond “She’s not Kelly Ayotte,” as though that weren’t a perfectly good reason all in itself. For one thing, Hassan is already making an issue of Ayotte’s opposition to hearings for Merrick Garland, President Obama’s nominee to the Supreme Court:

“Her refusal to do her duty shows that she has failed a critical test for independence — and in New Hampshire we value our independence very strongly,” Hassan said in an interview. “People want their elected leaders to do their jobs.”

Here’s Hassan telling Andrea Mitchell that it would be awfully nice if Republicans, including Kelly Ayotte, would actually do the jobs they’re supposed to do:

Ayotte says she’s doing exactly what the Constitution demands, by doing nothing, because giving “advice and consent” to a judicial nominee can totally include “advising” the president to wait to fill a Supreme Court vacancy until he’s no longer in office. Oh look, there she is with the doublespeak again! But to prove that she’s all independent and stuff, Ayotte says she’s willing to at least meet with Garland, so she’s got that “Live Free or Die” independence down, doesn’t she?

Ayotte has accused Hassan of being slow to respond to New England’s opiate addition epidemic; Ayotte says she’s pushed to fund heroin addiction treatment, although for all we know that means she wants methadone to be available over the counter at addicts’ own expense. Hassan has actually signed emergency bills to address the problem, and also supports the continuation of Medicaid expansion in New Hampshire, since state Republicans designed the expansion to expire at the end of 2016. For her part, Ayotte has voted to repeal Medicaid expansion, but to include a “two-year transition period” to whatever non-replacement the Republicans come up with. Where Ayotte has voted to defund Planned Parenthood, Hassan has picked up an endorsement from the pro-choice EMILY’s List.

Hassan argues that despite her attempts to paint herself as a moderate, Ayotte takes many positions that are more in line with Ted Cruz:

“When I look at Sen. Ayotte’s voting record, she voted to cut Pell grants, (which are) so critical to middle class families, she’s (voted) to turn Medicare into a voucher system, (which is) so critical to our seniors, and she voted to defund Planned Parenthood at a time when women need access to affordable primary and preventative care.”

She noted women need access to Planned Parenthood “to plan their futures and support their families.”

Hassan fought unsuccessfully against state Republicans’ efforts to defund Planned Parenthood in New Hampshire, and hopes to use Ayotte’s record on issues affecting women against her in the Senate race

As of right now, Ayotte is polling slightly ahead of Hassan, but Hassan is likely to be boosted by a strong turnout for the Democratic presidential candidate, regardless of whether it’s the vagina-having Democrat or the Democrat who left uncombed hair all over the New Hampshire primary. We haven’t checked Hassan’s record on cute little birds, but we bet she’s pro-bird, while Ayotte would likely introduce legislation called the “Cute Little Bird Protection Act” that would pave over some forests.

If you find yourself with a few extra dollars that you’d like to throw at Maggie Hassan and improve Democrats’ chances of retaking the Senate, you could do that at her ActBlue campaign page, right here. You can also help Yr Wonkette continue its Senate-race-a-week coverage with a donation here, because did we mention we love you?

[Politico / WaPo / Boston Globe / Seacoast Online / Boston Globe again / New Hampshire Public Radio]

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  • DerrickWildcat

    Levi Hutchins of Concord invented the first alarm clock in 1787.

  • memzilla
    • Shibusa

      Happy Easter!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Because it was obviously a waste of a death.

    • Sardonicuss

      There is an ex SNL alum, who lost her “faith” a while back. She talks about how Jesus suffered for a day, but how her brother spent months in pain before finally succumbing to cancer.
      TL:DR paraphrase: Jesus had a bad afternoon for your sins.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        He had a long, bad Good Friday.

        • theCryptofishist

          Notice that it wasn’t actually three days, either. Dies late Friday, dead Saturday, alive on Sunday. That’s one and a half, two days at most.

          Which may explain wingnut math, now that I think of it.

          • thenearesthippie

            It’s like an actor having a career that spanned decades: 1989 – 1991.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I’m thinking more like a bad drinking binge: “We were having supper together, and I don’t know what was in that wine, but my bros were all passing out in the garden, except Peter who pulled a knife on a cop and I got between them, then the next thing I remember, just vaguely, is some kind of trial and I had this horrible nightmare about being nailed to a tree or something, and I woke up a couple days later in a cave, feeling basically okay, just few serious scrapes, blood and stuff. Nothing mortal. The guys seemed surprised to see me alive, so I guess some serious shit was going down Friday night.”

          • Sardonicuss

            Much more relatable character development. Somebody needs to green light this picture.

      • Skadi

        There’s a religious theory that what looked like an afternoon to human eyes was really a subjective fourth-dimensional eternity spent suffering every single horrible thing human beings have ever done to hurt each other, from the beginning of time to the end. People being blown up by bombs? Women and kids getting beaten to death or massacred by soldiers? Families getting kicked our of their homes by the banks? Heck, the time little Tommy deliberately called his sister fat and ugly and made her cry? All of it at once, compressed into the space of a single day.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Since it lacks all semblance of proof as well as any way to recreate the hypothesis to test it, it may be a religious theory, but it sure as fuck isn’t a theory at all.

          • Skadi

            I never said it was a scientific theory.

        • cousin itt

          Extra upfist.

      • doktorzoom

        Would that be Julia Sweeney you had in mind?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTvx_QA6gIc

    • cousin itt

      Figures dude was a swinger.

      • H0mer0

        dating a singer?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          My kids and I watched Jesus Christ Superstar again last night. MaryMag indeed had great set of pipes, but she was no Judas.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yeeeeeee Haw!

    • doktorzoom

      I can see your house from here!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Thanks Dok! Happy Post Paschal Full Moon.

      • theCryptofishist

        I read that as “I can see your holes from here!” and instantly thought stigmata.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      All you late comers, it ain’t Easter yet

      • Playonwords

        Splitter!

    • Skadi

      Olly olly oxen free!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Go Maggie, and Kelly can go pound sand, stupid Rethug bint.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Bint, notice.

  • cousin itt

    Is Ayotte ready to spill the beans about Hassan’s ugly husband?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Not gonna happen. Silver Fox ftw

  • cheetojeebus

    Lotta talky talk there, any mention of boobs?

    • Callyson

      I’m sure there will be another story about TehRump soon.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I’m celebrating today by ignoring all things drumpf.

        • doktorzoom

          So are we! Almost. Except in Dear Shitferbrains, where he belongs.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Ugh, I don’t wanna think about boobs and Trump in the same 10 min. window.

  • schmannity

    That’s not a giant dildo, that’s Ayotte receiving Scott Brown’s endorsement.

  • Jonny On Maui

    How many times will we hear Demo senator wannabes pound on their repub opponents for not acting on the SCOTUS nom?

    No, no, don’t get up, I’ll get it…AOT, K…

    (The only chance I’ll get at passive aggressive today, Ms. OM don’t play that crap)

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, I surely hope Hassan, Duckworth et al pound the shit out this issue on the way to November. It’s good issue; voters seem to like “fairness” and “rule of law” and “the Constitution” and stuff.

      Sen Kirk: “Guys, I’m begging you, just hold a fucking hearing for christssakes. You don’t have to actually confirm him.”

      Sen Turtle: “Fuck you; my seat is safe. I’m busy cashing checks”

  • Rick Hill

    I think I can get into the spirit of conservatism. Instead of having holidays all year long, we could have just one massive, half day off, holiday. Of course, I’ve only sold half my soul so I can’t figure out how to package it like I was a true republican…

  • Shibusa

    NRAyotte works in a gun free zone.

    • Rick Hill

      You say “gun free”. I say you aren’t trying hard enough! Gun that looks like a cell phone. Boom! Can you hear me now?

  • natoslug

    Merry Eastervus!

    • Doug Langley

      Damn. That bunny sure got a lot of his assertiveness training class.

    • jmk

      So that’s where easter eggs come from!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Don’t ask why they’re chocolate.

        • cousin itt

          Do they come in Santorum?

      • Sardonicuss

        I would agree, but that looks like a rooster.

        • jmk

          Accounts for the bright, fabulous colors.

        • Skadi

          Maybe the bunny is female, and that’s just a very…flexible cock?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Damn bunnies can’t stop fucking.

    • Lancelot Link

      It takes a tough rabbit to make a tender forecast, Nick.

  • 451 Byrnes

    I’ll just leave this here…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLpVLb415Qo

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Oh, so my mom didn’t really die, she was kidnapped by gun grabbers. Sure. And Drumpf isn’t a bloviating asshole, either!”

      • 451 Byrnes

        They actually believe that she is a paid actor who has appeared in several “mass shootings” across the country. These people have no compassion, no empathy, no shame, and no sense of civilized society. True sociopaths.

        Edit: and apparently, no Oxford comma…

        • Anarchy Pony

          Because they’d totally risk compromising the security of their nefarious conspiracy by reusing actors. Logic, how the fuck does it work?

        • theCryptofishist

          Oxford! That weak, bloviating, prissy university! We have nothing to do with their punctuation. We are making America Great Again!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …with a name like “Hassan” she obviously pledged he allegiance to ISIL!

    • weejee

      Prolly related to Nobummer, too & also.

    • TheoLib

      ISIS insiders say “ISIL” so you’ll think they’re talking about a different organization!

  • TundraGrifter

    “As we noted at the time, while that post-attack intelligence failure remains the greatest foreign policy disaster of the early 20th Century…”

    Personally, my vote for the greatest foreign policy disaster of the early 20th Century is the start of World War I.

    • Major_Major_Major

      What’s a hundred years one way or the other in a geological time frame?

    • gedjcj

      Neville Chamberlain libel!

      • weejee

        Mushy peas in our thyme.

    • doktorzoom

      Grr, I know I had typed 21st at some point… I blame insufficient/too much coffee. Fixed!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Was Starbucks light on the pour again? You should sue!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      What a clusterfuck the start of WWI was. Fortunately, the US wasn’t involved in it, but WWI and its aftermath set the stage for many of the problems we’re still wrestling with today.

  • Nounverb911
    • Major_Major_Major

      Disney lawyers on line one, Mr. Puss-puss.

    • Doug Langley

      “What? Vet said I needed moar fiber in the diet.”

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Meow.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Purrr (with apologies to BadKitty)

        • Dr. Krieger IRL

          Cute kitty!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Tis Ms. On Maui’s familiar, a Maine Coon that thinks it’s a dog…

          • H0mer0

            I thought most Maine Coons think they are dogs.

          • theCryptofishist

            I thought Maine Coons had no tails. I guess I thought there was something called a Manx Coon…

          • Skadi

            The ones with no tails are Manx cats. See the wiki:

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manx_cat

          • theCryptofishist

            I actually saw the wiki in my brain, and yes, it’s the Manx. From the Island of Man. So, they get to put an x on the end, and that denotes “from there.” Back when England had inflections, I guess.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Maine Coon? All this time, I thought people were saying Mancoon.

            (Not a cat person. Allergies.)

    • Sardonicuss

      He’s so polite!

  • Rick Hill

    Ot. Just a little. Are astronomers extremely ocd suffering folks? I mean, they look at stars alla time and want to find new stars or even planets in our solar system but it’s all just points of light. Do they spend all night long just looking, getting excited: “A new planet in our solar system!!1! No…it’s another star….A new star, then!!1! No, it’s on the charts….” Or do they totally know when they see something that’s new because they know ALL the stars!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Don’t know. Could never stay awake long enough to get to that part of the conversation…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      With respect to planets, it’s a mixed bag.

      Uranus was a lucky find, by a Herschel, a guy who was pretty obsessive about stargazing (he was the one that first proposed that we were in a disk shaped galaxy of stars based on his observations).

      Neptune was predicted from orbital anomalies with other planets. and found right where it was predicted.

      Pluto was predicted the same way, but that was a math error. However it was found by exhaustive searches for the wrongly predicted planet.

      “Planet 9” is a new prediction based on orbital anomalies, but the prediction hasn’t be precise enough to provide a search area yet, AFAIK.

      With respect to identifying new smaller objects like comets, asteroids and Kuiper belt dwarf planets, photography helped a lot, in terms of looking for slight differences in the same parts of the sky, and computers helped even more.

      • Jonny On Maui

        And therewith, endith the lesson for today…

      • Paul

        Wow. You folks are smart in Latveria. Write lucidly too. Thanks, it’s a pleasure learning new stuff.

    • bozilingus

      Ted Cruz to Donald Trump at the last debate – “You couldn’t find Uranus with both of your little hands!”

      • theCryptofishist

        It came up in my recent reading that “Uranus” was the code name of the operation that crossed the Volga and surrounded General Paulus’ 6th army.

    • theCryptofishist

      Remember, that at this point, the people who work as astronomers don’t look through the lens, they take pictures. And I’m pretty sure that at this time they can compare it to other pictures in the computer seconds later. Now, your amateur star gazer, in it for the fun or the beauty or the thrill of it, probably does know the sky pretty well. They discover a lot of comets, iirc.

      • Rick Hill

        Facts just aren’t as funny….

        • theCryptofishist

          True.

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    Pretty much sums it all up:

    • Anarchy Pony

      This will hurt me more than you! I’m only doing it because I love you!

      • weejee

        I prefer the 538 take if women…

        • malsperanza

          Well, that’s quite heartening.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Well alright then, ladies – you know what you need to do.

    • Skadi

      People talking in movie shows
      People smoking in bed
      People voting Republican–
      Give them all a boot to the head!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZljpTx_tJ78

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        And another for Jenny and The Wimp!

      • Naytch

        Yay, I remember this playing on Dr. Demento! Thanks!

  • Msgr_Moment

    “All right, who stole my goddam dildo?”

    • Playonwords

      That woman needs to visit Kanamara Matsuri

    • Me not sure

      I saw this movie in 1958 as a ten year old boy with a blossoming interest in the mysteries of the female body. I saw this as a cheesy cheesecake sci-fi film with a really erotic undertone.
      Now it’s viewed as an early feminist metaphor. All I know is that I had pleasant dreams about Allison Hayes for months.

    • bozilingus

      All she did to get her kicks was step on all the men…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL6h2pss7CQ

    • Me not sure

      Remake anyone?

      • Jonny On Maui

        And who would you have in the title role?

        Jennifer Lawrence?

        • Me not sure

          I’d roll her.

    • theCryptofishist

      How many of those people in cars were looking up her dress?

      • Jonny On Maui

        AOT, K

        • theCryptofishist

          No wonder she was so mad.

    • bobbert

      I’ve always liked the fact that, as pictured, she’s about a 200 ft woman.

    • Paul

      It’s probably at Malheur .

  • RC

    Kind of OT: If I want to give money to senate and presidential campaigns but have limited funds. Is it better to give a little to everyone or just pick one person you really want to win and dump it all there? Opinions?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Spread it out because every little bit helps?

      Or

      One basket near and dear to your heart?

      Good Luck. My$0.02? If no one’s near&dear, scattershot…

    • Shaydee

      My honest opinion is don’t waste your money. Unless you’re a Koch, you can’t possibly bankroll any candidates.

    • malsperanza

      Either one is fine. In keeping with this Wonk series, I recommend giving $ to a Senate campaign if your funds are limited, not the presnitial one. More bang for your buck.

      And if you’re really broke, the best thing of all is volunteering to register voters in Dem neighborhoods in swing states. If you’re within driving distance of a swing state, sign up for some weekends. Voter reg is really fun – and nonpartisan! – so it’s not hard to do. Community colleges, local malls …

      • RC

        thanks for the ideas.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I did voter registration at a Zappa concert once. This was back in the 80’s, and Frank really had a visceral hatred of Ronnie Raygunz.

  • Nounverb911

    This seems Easterish:

  • coozledad
    • Jonny On Maui

      Just what does that bird think is up there?

      • coozledad

        I think she was trying to switch off my pituitary gland.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      So a bird up the nose is worth two in the bush?

    • bozilingus
    • Vecciojohn LLC
    • Biff52

      Rafael Cruz could use a bird like that.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Ah! A rare Plains Nostril Snacker! (Avis Nostrillius Snackabus) I’ve never seen one of those domesticated before. Good show!

  • Hassan? Saaaay, ain’t that one of them A-rab names?

  • nightmoth

    Thx for the info on the NH race. Happy Easter, Vernal Equinox, Passover to everyone. You don’t need a theological reason to celebrate the joy that comes with seeing new lambs, foals, chicks and calves in the field, or smelling the fragrance of fruit trees in flower. Hope and renewal know no religious boundaries. Or as a favorite haiku says:

    Dead my old fine hopes
    and dry my dreaming. But still—
    iris blue each spring.

    • weejee

      My bride’s irises are already showing buds – in March ffs. But then she and Madame Lulu the gardener from the Voodoo Carré are colleagues, so there is that.

      • Biff52

        My yard stinks of lilac at the moment. I have three different colors of them. The white and pastel purple are in bloom now, while the deep purple will follow shortly. Very short event, unfortunately.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        My rhubarb is going bananas! And I just planted it less than a month ago. (PNW: perfect rhubarb climate)

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
      Is hung with bloom along the bough,
      And stands about the woodland ride
      Wearing white for Eastertide.

      Now, of my threescore years and ten,
      Twenty will not come again,
      And take from seventy springs a score,
      It only leaves me fifty more.

      And since to look at things in bloom
      Fifty springs are little room,
      About the woodlands I will go
      To see the cherry hung with snow.

      • Playonwords

        On the other hand Yeats’ view was more cynical

        Easter, 1916

        I HAVE met them at close of day
        Coming with vivid faces
        From counter or desk among grey
        Eighteenth-century houses.
        I have passed with a nod of the head
        Or polite meaningless words,
        Or have lingered awhile and said
        Polite meaningless words,
        And thought before I had done
        Of a mocking tale or a gibe
        To please a companion
        Around the fire at the club,
        Being certain that they and I
        But lived where motley is worn:
        All changed, changed utterly:
        A terrible beauty is born.

        link goes to complete poem

        multiple edits because I am useless at tripewyting

        • malsperanza

          Nothing Gold Can Stay

          Nature’s first green is gold,
          Her hardest hue to hold.
          Her early leaf’s a flower;
          But only so an hour.
          Then leaf subsides to leaf.
          So Eden sank to grief,
          So dawn goes down to day.
          Nothing gold can stay.

          Robert Frost is a close observer and a cold-eyed realist.

      • nightmoth

        Thank you–another beauty–

      • Skadi

        “Loveliest of Trees–The Music Video”!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr9xDHCCj4A

    • Aquaria

      The only great thing in Texas: We know it’s spring by the bluebonnets.

  • Nounverb911
    • Joshua Norton

      I have never understand the old. “it tastes like chicken” justification. If you want something that tastes like chicken then eat a damned chicken!

      • Playonwords

        According to what is now anti-Chinese legend, rabbit meat is supposed to taste like cat.

        • Biff52

          disqust is being petulant, I’ll try again later.

        • malsperanza

          It tastes like rabbit and it is delicious.

    • doktorzoom

      Have you tried shopping in Flint?

  • Nounverb911

    ..

  • Vecciojohn LLC

    Excuse me, Mrs. Greenspan, but Scalia’s death was neither untimely (he was almost 80) nor tragic. He was not Oedipus or Willy Loman. He had a long, happy life and wielded a lot of power. He shot birds on rich people’s pretend ranches.

    There should be term limits for these old news readers who party with the people they are supposed to be reporting on.

    • Joshua Norton

      Scalia was obviously murdered!!*

      *by cigarettes and butter

    • Vegan and Tiara

      “He shot birds on rich people’s (whose cases he had decided favorably) pretend ranches.”
      FTFY

  • weejee

    Discussion this morning at the Ayotte headquarters.

    • theCryptofishist

      I have loved this for years.

  • Joshua Norton

    Yay! Bunny slippers!!

    Carry on.
    .

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Thunk! That’s the sound of me falling over, because I just died from the cuteness.

  • Shaydee

    Kelly Ayotte… Wasn’t she considered atvonevtimevto be the Republicans’ next big thing?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Every Republican is the next big thing until they run for President or VP, it seems.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or until they deliver the GOP response to the State of the Union.

        • Me not sure

          I win!

    • Me not sure

      They all are until they are tapped to respond to the SOTU. Once they are seen for the shallow untalented or dry mouthed people that they are, they fade quickly.

      • Shaydee

        I liked Marco’s ‘drink of water!’ He never took his eyes off the camera. That’s some serious talent. Got to be worth something in a ‘Trump’ administration.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Nikki Haley is waiting in the wings. She’s going to be their next big thing.

      • Jonny On Maui

        She might actually be good for the GOP.

        Wait, wtf am I thinking…

        • Vegan and Tiara

          She’ll be bad for us, because she comes across as sane and reasonable. Hopefully she’ll get pounded out of their primary, because she has committed the ultimate Republican sin of trying to raise taxes to pay for roads. Every good Republican knows the way you pay for stuff is to cut taxes, and this will also magically cause deficits to go down.

          • Jonny On Maui

            After some male GOP ‘petting’ I don’t think it’ll be too hard to turn her…

      • Shaydee

        In the long line of Republicans’ ‘next big thing,’ no one lowered the bar lower than Sarah Palin!

      • malsperanza

        The GOP seems to have shot their wad in the “diversity” dept. They only have energy for one woman, one blah, and (apparently) one Latino, and never any later than March. Haley is gonna have to switch parties if she wants to get out of SC.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          She’s both a lady and of Indian descent. She also comes across as “not totally batshit crazy.” I think she’s been preparing for her run for POTUS for quite some time.

  • Playonwords

    Once upon a time I met a loosely sane folklorist who insisted that the original Easter Egg was the human glans. Try coating that in chocolate and see what happens.

    • Vecciojohn LLC

      I wonder if his girlfriend believed the story.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Ba dum TUSH!

    • Me not sure

      In the Anglican tradition, on Easter Sunday, two people would take hard boiled eggs and hit them together. One person would say ” He is risen” and the other would answer “He is risen indeed”. Given what you have just said, that really makes sense.

    • Malmborg Implano

      Bear in mind also that rabbits digest their food twice by eating their own poop, which may also explain the traditional Easter juxtaposition of rabbits and eggs.

  • Sardonicuss

    Since the 5 year drought broke where I live last fall, the rain has brought a big increase in the wild life (out in the country…my yard).
    A couple of weeks ago, while drinking my coffee looking out the window, there were five bunnies meandering around in the yard ignoring each other.
    Suddenly, two of them turned toward each other and charged. At the last second, they both jumped up and appeared to give each other high fives! They then returned to munching grass as if that didn’t just happen.
    If I had been recording with my phone, it would have been a million plus hit viral by now.
    There were no mushrooms involved in this story..as far as I know.

    • Playonwords

      Sure they weren’t hares? (longer ears with white tips)

      • Sardonicuss

        Nah they were little (immature) cotton tails. Only two types of rabbit around these parts: Jacks and cotton tails. I just call them bunnies because they are not adults.
        …..and none of them disappeared in a big hole under a tree trunk, or wore vests or monocles..or appeared to be late for any pressing engagments.

        • Malmborg Implano

          Sounds like kittens or puppies play-fighting. Adult rabbits do fight for dominance and can even kill each other. Rabbits also chase and knock each other around during courtship. They don’t live very long so they don’t have much time to work on technique.

          • Sardonicuss

            I think it probably was two males having a little battle over the harem…but they have such short attentions spans, the battle was not very epic.
            Either that, or they were just flat out fucking with me.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            If you think they’re rough on each other, you should see what they can do to a Knight of the Round Table.

        • Biff52

          Down here we have the Sierra Hare, biggest sumbitches I’ve ever seen.

    • Me not sure

      Did it look like this?

    • malsperanza

      The phrase “mad as a March hare” did not start with Lewis Carroll. Apparently applies to the lesser leppers as well.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_as_a_March_hare

  • zerosumgame0005

    The jolly good news is the DNC has cash to spend because ONE of the candidates for pres has donated and campaigned to raise money for down ticket races and runs like this one. the other one has clutched his donations as close as Scrooge McDuck…

    • Sardonicuss

      Man, times like these, I miss the screamer (Howard Dean).
      Were he in charge, and not DWS, we could have a real shot at not only taking the Senate with the White House, but possible re-taking the House as well.
      We would have Obama out doing a lot of down ticket campaigning, with the Repubs continuing their prolonged foot shooting extravaganza.

      • zerosumgame0005

        Then again how much of what you think DWS decided all on her own was really this closet republican’t working against the interests of the DNC?

        • Sardonicuss

          Is that the vice chair that quit?

          • zerosumgame0005

            that is her, yeppers

        • sw19womble

          Ah, is this more of that Hindus vs Muslims thing I’ve been reading about recently?

      • RC

        Howard was great, wasn’t he? Now there is a guy who could look at the big picture and down the road.

      • malsperanza

        We have no hope of taking the House this time. Not til the gerrymander can be corrected in 2020. But we sure as hell can get the Senate and I for one plan to spend a whole lot of time in PA this summer, nailing Pat Toomey’s ass to the wall.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I miss him, we need to draft him back into the DNC.

  • Malmborg Implano
    • Joshua Norton

      I think it’s hysterical how all the “Open Carry” cheerleader groups are very uptight about letting it actually happen around them personally.

      • Biff52

        In that case, with the candidates having Sekrit Service protection, I imagine there’s like zero chance of gunz being allowed.

        • SnarkOff

          Who needs the Secret Service when you’ve got all of those armed patriots looking out for you?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I read today that John Kasich’s taxpayer-funded State Highway Patrol security detail has logged in a 164% increase in overtime since the Gov started campaigning.

          • Smokahontas

            Scott walker pledged to pay back the people of Wisco for all the overtime for his security teams by next year (a couple mil for his 71 days of campaigning, according to the librel media). We are all looking forward to the payoff from that great investment.

          • Biff52

            I’m sure the good citizens of the Buckeye State are happy to pay, if it keeps him out of Ohio.

      • RC

        I almost signed on to their petition but I don’t like to encourage gun play by idiots.

        • Jonny On Maui

          If only the idiots got hit, I’d sign. Sadly, not usually the case…

          • zerosumgame0005

            the only exception would be at the RNC convention, filled to the brim with idiots :P

          • Jonny On Maui

            zerosumgame0005, I’m tryin’ real hard. Can we have one happy day where we can let the sad things go?

      • AnOuthouse

        I signed. I’ll be manning the fireworks booth just outside

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Don’t forget to get them to sign the form stating they’ll take the fireworks out of state to set them off.

          • Lordpnut

            Have you ever had the urge to buy a Roman candle from a fireworks stand, then walk away, light it, and fire it back into the stand ? Yeah, me neither. Just askin’….

      • malsperanza

        It’s the owner of the convention center that wants a ban on guns, not the GOP.

        Possibly because Cleveland is a majority black city, and the chances are, if a bunch of enraged, gun-toting Republicans from the whitest corners of America get all wired up on PBR and wine coolers and Turnipian hate-speech, they will not shoot each other or the candidates. They will go outside into terrifyingly blah Cleveland, and wander down the street, and find them some 12-year-old “thugs” playing on their front sidewalks, and shoot them dead.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          They had to put a provision in the concealed carry law to get it passed that allowed businesses to ban weapons on their property by posting proper signage to that effect. Secretary of State Ken Blackwell screamed bloody murder that the ledge was selling out the 2nd amendment and promptly posted the signs in all the entrances to his offices the first day the law went into effect.

        • Joshua Norton

          I’m sure if it was such a “make or break” wingnut big deal to have unimpeded Open Carry wherever they want it, the would have found a more receptive facility to hold their convention. This, on the other hand, conveniently gives them their usual “hey, it’s not us it’s them” excuse to get away with crap when their ideology becomes inconvenient for them to follow. Like being surrounded by thousands of armed, hot-tempered yahoos with itchy trigger fingers who aren’t getting their own way.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Donald Trump was asked this morning if he would sign the petition because he was so opposed to “gun free zones.” As usual he danced around the question and said he’d have to study the petition before he could comment.

      • bobbert

        We’ll have to look at it.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Ayup, that’s exactly what he said. When the interviewer asked him if he would just come out in favor of open carry at the convention, with or without the petition, since he’s opposed to “gun free zones,” he still wouldn’t answer.

          • Smokahontas

            Gosh, I sure hope he puts Top Men on it!

        • rocktonsam

          hope they’re pictures…

    • SnarkOff

      This petition is some deity-level trolling.

    • Smokahontas

      I heard tell that Cleveland had requested some 2000 sets of riot gear. No word on additional firehose requisitions.

  • motmelere

    Heroine, Luntz, placebo legislation…hmmmm. Just spit balling here, but a toothless ‘Young Adults Will Die If They Smoke Pot Act’ might convince millennials that they’re rebelling against something that people don’t give a shit about instead of risking their lives with a seriously wrecking ball type of drug. I’m not against whatever you get off on, but coke, meth & heroine are NOT starter drugs.

    • AnOuthouse

      The starter was oxycontin and other prescription medications.

  • Joshua Norton

    I can actually remember using these! I never got the hang of the Magic Crayon. I found out later that you were supposed to draw the design with it before you dyed the eggs and I tried to use it after and nothing ever happened, magical or otherwise.

    Shit, I’m old.
    .

    • Jonny On Maui

      Those are the ‘new and inproved’. Real old school used vinegar, ims.

      Back when colors were gay and the metal egg holder was a piece of crap…

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I remember the vinegar, and the “do not put red in vinegar!!!!” warning 3 or 4 times in the instructions.
        Never got why, but I always wish I had tried. Probably rip apart the fabric of space time.

        • theCryptofishist

          Some kid did, and Ted Cruz entered our universe.

      • Lambsendbeds

        I helped my grand kids dye Easter eggs last year. The metal egg holders are still crap. I remember adding the vinegar to the dye cups when I was a kid. Messy. Now the vinegar is in the little tablet I guess, because the stuff still reeks of vinegar.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          We always gave up on the metal egg holders and used a spoon.

    • Biff52

      All you needed was wax. The dye wouldn’t stick to it. Of course your hot water/dye could make a mess of that, too. Hence the use of the cold water fizzies.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      “6 GAY COLORS???”
      No wonder America has gone soft. If I’m elected PAAS will only use classy, normal, totally heterosexual colors. No more homo eggs!
      ~Donald J Trump
      Making Easter Less Gay Again

      • theCryptofishist

        Just three colors–Red, Whte and Blue!

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Pastels are for pussies, and Libtards. It’s so disgusting, I don’t even want to talk about it.
          ~DJT

      • SnarkOff

        “Twirly tops”?

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Sweet Jesus on a Jet Ski! I didn’t even notice that. PAAS is obviously a hotbed of homosexuality.

        • Joshua Norton

          Another disappointment. As I recall they were just the leftover cardboard circles that you punched out of the bottom of the box to make the drying rack. Then you were supposed to stick a common pin thru the middle and have hours of fun trying to make them spin around. Never really worked.

          • SnarkOff

            So PAAS did not succeed in turning you gay?

          • Joshua Norton

            The colors probably weren’t gay enough.

    • thenearesthippie

      Oh no. I’m about to be overwhelmed by nostalgia and missing my mother. Fuck you, PAAS.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      I’m old enough to remember a time when you wanted to color Easter eggs, you either got PAAS or you FUCKED OFF.

      http://youtu.be/w00Gs9w8tK0

      • Joshua Norton

        Oh geez! That’s brilliant!

  • SK

    Why isn’t Scott Brown running?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Cuz no one likes him…

      Yes, today it’s sad…

      • Jim Peale

        He’s still recovering from, or fondly reminiscing about, the spanking he got from Jeanne Shaheen last time around.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Hassan, meet birds.

    • Aquaria

      The scary thing is that we know Hitchcock wasn’t wrong.

      Go piss off a crow. He’ll turn all his pals against you and they’ll go out of their way to attack you whenever they see you—for years.

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Too bad Kelly doesn’t end with an i, because then an anagram of Kelli Ayotte would be Leaky Toilet…and that would amuse me.

    • The Wanderer

      Let Leaky Toy?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    As of right now, Ayotte is polling slightly ahead of Hassan, but Hassan is likely to be boosted by a strong turnout for the Democratic presidential candidate, regardless of whether it’s the vagina-having Democrat or the Democrat who left uncombed hair all over the New Hampshire primary.

    This is the question that interests me the most in Bern vs. Hils: who will inspire the most down-ticket Democratic legislative victories?

    Bernie (because young, fanatical Bernie bots), or Hillary, (because voters with ladyparts)?

    • sw19womble

      With any luck, AOT,K. Once the Bernie Bros have had their midsummer tantrum and taken a little nap, they’ll hopefully do what Bernie tells ’em to. Which is GOTV.
      (Assuming HRC wins, via superdelegates or not)

      • h4rr4r

        Her lead right now is basically just superdelegates. Which is really sad, that and her being a nixon Republican.

        Can we have a left party yet?

        • sw19womble

          The strong showing by Sanders will hopefully keep your (assumed) centrist leader honest. And out of unnecessary wars. Good luck!

        • malsperanza

          Sure, go ahead: have a left party, and given the temperament of the American electorate, enjoy your permanent home in the wilderness.

          OR, instead of smearing a solid liberal (who has the talent and wisdom to reach out to centrists during an election campaign), consider this:

          European parliamentary systems often have multiple parties. Everyone votes for the tiny little party that best represents their own particular tastes and interests. Once all the elected delegates get into Parliament, they form coalitions, and the majority party in the coalition sets the agenda.

          In the US, we form our coalitions before the election, within the two parties. This actually works quite well, and has given us great stability, including the longest continuous, unbroken democracy in history.

          It takes savvy and skill to manage good coalition politics. It takes the ability to negotiate, compromise, and horsetrade. And if that seems like stinking corruption, well, politics is not a private spiritual experience, in which purity and virtue are top values.

          • I have one.

            Except when it comes to Republicans, Bernie has shown he can work across the aisle, whereas the Empress Hillary came right out and said the Republicans were her greatest enemy at one of the first debates. Gawd forbid she gets the nomination– the clip of her saying that will be shown 24/7 tens of thousands of times before the election. It was a statement of utterly profound stupidity, right up there with Lord Mittens’ 47% statement. But hey, it got her applause at the debate and she thought she was oh so fucking clever and witty because, well, she just can’t help herself.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            And, if Bernie wins the nomination, the Republicans will take something he said at the debates and show it 24/7 tens of thousands of times before the election, because Republicans.

          • I have one.

            Except Bernie hasn’t said anything like he thinks all Republicans are his enemy. Look, I am a lifelong Democrat and when Hillary said that idiotic fucking thing, I wanted to reach through my screen and bitch-slap her from now to November. Again, she thought she was being cute and was playing to the cheap seats but in the process alienated anyone who’s a Republican. I’m 50+ years old and outside of Gary Hart, I am hard-pressed to think of any Democratic candidate putting a gun in their mouth on national TV and pulling the trigger like she did. Sure, the crowd ate it up but to the moderates that make up the 30+ squishy middle, she might as well have just hate-fucked a puppy before slitting its throat.

          • h4rr4r

            Solid liberal? Who is in the pocket of wall street?
            How does that work?
            No, our system only works well for the 1%.

            She showed her true colors when she decided she would not even take up the mantle of $15/hour. She was giving away the store before the negotiations even began.

          • malsperanza

            Nader? Is that you? I’ve been wondering where you were hiding.

          • h4rr4r

            Nope, nor did I ever vote for him. He split the party when it cost us something.
            This time the democratic primary winner will be president.

        • Lynn A Myers

          Vote Democratic!

          • h4rr4r

            As my state will be blue no matter what, I will likely vote third party for pres and democrat for house/senate.

        • artem1s

          2.5 million vote lead. 268 pledged delegate lead. Clinton: 1,243 pledged delegates, 975 superdelegates. Sanders: 469 pledged delegates, 29 superdelegates

          • h4rr4r

            Your butthole is not the place to find these numbers.
            Clinton has 1243 delegates and 469 superdelegates.
            Sanders has 975 delegates and 29 superdelegates.

            If those superdelegates switched allegiances Sanders would win. Do we really want superdelegates picking our candidate?

      • Iam Reading

        Ridiculing fellow leftists is as unproductive as it is unfortunate. Try to remember that we arent conservatives.

        • sw19womble

          Sorry to break it to you, and you may need to sit down for this, but liberals can be childish little twits too.
          If fragile fee-fees need to be bruised in order for both sides to wake the fuck up, then so be it.

        • malsperanza

          Excellent thought! Let’s start by dropping the whole Hillary-is-a-Republican drama, shall we?

        • puipui

          Personally, I’ll be super happy to do that as soon as 90% of the pro-Bernie people that I keep meeting at Bernie rallies stop sounding like ultra-right-wing conservatives every time they talk about Hillary Clinton.

          One person at a Bernie rally in Seattle blamed the long lines on Hillary’s presence in a completely different town nearby, and claimed that she probably came to the area on the same day to purposely cause problems for Bernie’s campaign; my daughter and I were the only people nearby who seemed to think this was at all unreasonable, and the crowd totally turned on us for saying so. A few days later, a Bernie supporter that I know online made a post talking about how Hillary thinks she’s above the law which used an article in Breitbart News as its source, which in turn used quotes from John Bolton as its source.

          I will be perfectly happy to stop ridiculing fellow leftists just as soon as they start remembering that they are leftists and then actually acting like leftists.

      • I have one.

        Gee, I guess someone doesn’t remember the Summer of 2008 after Obama won the nomination and a number of Hillbots became P(arty)U(nity)M(y)A(ass)s. Hillary supporters wrote the book on butthurt and taking their ball and going home to eat worms and sulk.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Except, they didn’t take their ball and go home, because the alternative was Sarah Pain a heartbeat away from the presidency.

          • I have one.

            They ultimately came around, yeah, but even up until election day it wasn’t clear if they would since they were threatening to either stay home, write in Hillary, or go the third party route. Sound familiar?

          • sw19womble

            And yet, they did in the end. Which was my point. So, thanks! :)

    • RC

      I wonder if the Bernie supporters aren’t so focused on him that they aren’t looking at the big picture. I hope they are and like someone pointed out in another thread if they get him elected that’s great but they have to show up at the mid-terms and do their part there as well.

      • Jonny On Maui

        It’s not too early to start looking at 2020, census year, along with 2018.

        Us dems are great at throwing away the election following winning the WH.

        Your Local, Friendly, Not InsaneToday, Forward Looking (and handsome too) BernieBro…

        • theCryptofishist

          Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory is what we do. (Well, not me, I have no party affiliation. But I vote sorta democrat, mostly.)

          • Jonny On Maui

            In a previous existence I was a Rams fan. Your first sentence there? Pretty much a lifestyle…

          • I have one.

            PJ O’Rourke, who once wrote for Rolling Stone, said the difference between Republicans and Democrats is that if you were broken down next to the road with a flat tire, a Republican would run you over because they were late to the ugly pants competition at their whites-only country club and a Democrat would stop but would end up accidentally setting your car on fire.

        • Berkeleybear94

          Start by educating people about local elections. That’s where the GOP has kicked the crap out of the Dems for the last 20 -30 years- energizing the base to come out every time and vote to win the state legislatures that drive redistricting and so much policy in this era where the conservative bloc on the Supreme Court has put real power back in their hands under the guise of federalism.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Absolutely right on. Yesterday’s ‘caucus’ (actually a pres. preference poll) brought out many new dems from what the old timers said. It’s Get Out The Vote time.

            Now and always…

        • actually what we need to do is what the repubs did 40 years ago: get elected to the school board, the city council, as alderman, as dog catcher. this is why they’ve redistricted us to hell and back

          but i’m too tired.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I’m tired too, but going to get as involved as I can at the local level, gotta keep the crazy at bay…

      • Lordpnut

        Bernie himself has repeatedly said this. Win or lose, his supporters must continue to push his principles after the election.

        • RC

          good. I hope they take him to heart. It would be nice to see more people involved in the process on a consistent basis.

        • Berkeleybear94

          I’ve actually seen very little evidence of Bernie’s people doing anything to educate folks about local grassroots movements. Some of them co-canvass at his events, but it isn’t a strong co-ordinated push to explain how if you like his policies these are the organizations you should be aligning with/supporting at the local level. I don’t blame him, but I do see it as a missed opportunity. Most of his policy proposals have a snowball’s chance in hell at the national level in the short term, but could actually pass locally and help generate support for a progressive shift eventually – but there’s been a messiah-esque focus on the top of the ticket.

          Which is exactly what far too many people did with Obama in 08, even as he was saying again and again that a) he was not going to let the perfect be the enemy of the good (which is why we didn’t get unicorns but only the very good normal pony that is the ACA) and b) that change would require people to keep pushing rather than just voting and taking 4 years off.

          • DahBoner

            Agreed. I know people in Santa Cruz and San Francisco whining about homeless activists/squatters, but who think Hillary is more radical than Trump. Good thing they won’t bother to vote, but they’re missing out on a chance to change local politics, too…

  • Charon_69

    ‘Hassan chop!’
    …for any of my fellow olds who remember their Bugs Bunny

    • Lordpnut

      “Where’s my Hasenpfeffer?!?”

    • John Smith

      Hansel? Hansel?

    • JustDon’tSayDittos

      I knew I shoulda made that right toin at Albakoikie

  • Charon_69

    Also, I picture all my Kelly’s in bonnets:
    Rohrback, Megyn, Ayotte…

    • theCryptofishist

      Gene…

      • Querolous

        Emmett…

  • SnarkOff

    I’d vote for the brunette because she looks like Charlotte from “Sex and the City,” and Charlotte was pretty open-minded, especially after she converted to Judaism.

  • Lordpnut

    Ayotte’ rhetoric is surreal – “…we have always been at war with Oceania…”.
    This race looks to offer a well defined and clear-cut policy choice and, thus, a good indicator of the mentality of the New Hampshire electorate.

    • 3FingerPete

      It’s not just Ayotte. Even now, years after Benghazi, Greg Gutfeld claims no one saw the video at the time of the attack despite documented widespread protests throughout the Middle East the day before.

      • doktorzoom

        Yeah, and the near-riot at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo the same day was filmed on a green screen in New Mexico.

    • malsperanza

      An electorate that is not the old rock-ribbed Gadsden flag crew any more, at least in the bottom half of the state (a block or so south of the top half), thanks to an invasion of pod people Bostonians.

      • DahBoner

        I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Those are the Bostonians who moved there to evade taxes…

        • malsperanza

          Definitely not a done deal, but NH is one of a number of states that have been drifting blue for a while. (VA, NC, AZ, NV are others.) Bostonians may be tax-haters as much as any other prosperous white folks, but they also do not share the libertarian extremism of old NH, especially on social issues.

  • Skadi
  • rocktonsam

    which one has small hands and hates mooslums?

  • malsperanza

    “Hassan is already making an issue of Ayotte’s opposition to hearings for Merrick Garland, President Obama’s nominee to the Supreme Court.”

    This! Thisthisthisthisthisthis!

    I am so looking forward to the Dem contenders hanging the GOPs up by their thumbs over this. Even if we can’t get Garland confirmed this summer, it is Scalia’s God’s gift to the Dems. Let’s watch the GOP Senate refuse even to hold hearings. Let’s watch how that plays in blue and purple states with GOP senators.

    WE’RE LOOKING AT YOU:
    Kelly Ayotte (New Hampshire)
    John Boozman (Arkansas)
    Richard Burr (North Carolina, not really a blue state YET, but well on its way to enraging a whole lot of people into the arms of the Dems)
    Empty (Indiana)
    Chuck Grassley (Iowa)
    Ron Johnson (Wisconsin)
    Mark Kirk (Illinois)
    John McCain (Arizona)
    Jerry Moran (Kansas) WHO HAS ALREADY CAVED AND CALLED FOR HEARINGS AND HE’S NOT EVEN IN A BLUE STATE
    Rob Portman (Ohio)
    Empty (Florida)
    Pat Toomey (Pennsylvania)
    David Vitter (Louisiana, red state that often elects Dems; plus getting rid of Vitter is something every Louisianan hopes for)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I sent an email to one of my Senators telling him to do his job on the SCOTUS nomination and got a response the other day.

      “Thank you for contacting me regarding the current vacancy on the United States Supreme Court. I appreciate you taking the time to contact me on this important issue.

      As you know, we are in the midst of a presidential election and a vigorous debate within both political parties on the direction of the country. With the election less than eight months away, I believe the best thing for the country is to trust the American people to weigh in on who should make a lifetime appointment that could reshape the Supreme Court for generations.

      It is common practice for the Senate to stop acting on lifetime appointments during the last year of a presidential term, and it’s been nearly 80 years since any president was permitted to immediately fill a vacancy that arose in a presidential election year. I have supported some of President Obama’s federal court nominees and opposed others, based on their qualifications. Whether the next president is a Republican or Democrat, I will judge any nominee on the merits, as I always have.

      I also wanted to share with you my recent op-ed on the best way to replace Justice Scalia on the Supreme Court. The full op-ed can be found here .

      Thank you again for taking the time to contact me. For more information, you can visit my website at http://www.portman.senate.gov . Please keep in touch.

      Sincerely,

      Rob Portman

      U.S. Senator”

      • DahBoner

        Wow, the same lies we all heard before. It’s true–stupid con artists really do think you’re stupid enough to believe everything they say…

    • mr kirk is already on it because tammy’s coming for his ass.

  • I have one.

    Ayotte is a blithering douch-nozzle, a boot-licking toady of the Koch brothers and every inbred right-wing meth-huffing sister banger out there. She is an embarrassment to NH. Back when Bo Bergdahl was being held captive, she fired off a huffy letter to Chuck Hegel imploring him to do whatever was necessary to bring Bergdahl home but after the deal was made, she drooled in rage how Obama was to be strung up for making a deal to bring this traitor home. She forgets there’s this thing called the internet where, oh, say, a letter to the aforementioned Hegel might be found… http://www.ayotte.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=1244

    • Smokahontas

      History. How does it work?

      • Once&futureFred

        Years come in, years go out, no one can mansplain it.

  • guppy06

    Or that you’ll at least chow down on half-priced chocolate bunnies tomorrow.

    The real cheap stuff is legally obliged to be labeled “chocolate-flavored candy!”

  • guppy06

    Ayotte has accused Hassan of being slow to respond to New England’s opiate addition epidemic

    I get the feeling that the “opiate addiction epidemic” is going to end up like the cocaine vs. crack thing, where blahs end up with hard labor for having a needle while Limbaugh-Americans get All The Vicodin.

    • Biff52

      New Hampshire is right next to Maine, so maybe they need to hook up with Governor Mucilage and kick out Shifty, Smoothie and D-Money?

  • SK

    This is when a massive number of negative ads are to be run against Ayotte. Tying her to

    1. Drumpf
    2. Her obstructionism, not just to the SCOTUS nominee, but on her consistent support for McConnell.
    3. Opposition to Obamacare while pretending to care about opiod addiction

    No, the content need not be truthful, but there needs to be plenty of it. It is the ONLY chance Democrats have to keep this race with a very good candidate, winnable.

    They hesitate, delay, or focus on anything else, Ayotte wins it comfortably.

    I’ll contribute to any organization that is committed to running negative ads against Ayotte, and none to a generic “Elect Hassan” money-pit.

  • Be Gin

    Lady Fight?

    These two?

    PUH-LEEEZE!

    Now if Alison L. Grimes wanted to saunter over and bitch slap mouthy Bristol Palin…I’d tune that one in.

  • tegrat

    Bernie at the top of the ticket will bode much better for Hassan. I’ll try to be more amusing next time.

  • DahBoner

    Kelly Ayotte, like most Republicans, sounds very helpful and reasonable!

    As a screen door on a submarine…

  • Antimassacree

    Looking forward to the made-for-TV movie about this campaign starring Katie Holmes and Felicity Huffman.

  • “…a poor replacement for Joe Liebermann”–Eeeewww.

  • Scooby

    I’m waiting to see who Britanny Speers endorses.

    • Henri205

      The one that posed with the dildo?

      • Scooby

        Do you have a link??????

        • Henri205

          I think it was in a picture in the story. I couldn’t make that up.

  • Dodgerdog1

    I am certainly supporting Hassan, but I take issue with her statement that Pell Grants are “…so critical to middle class families”. Middle class families have no access to Pell Grants.

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