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#TruBama's 2-day anniversary!
#TruBama’s 2-day anniversary!

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! It’s time for your weekly top ten list, where we (SPOILER!) count down the top ten stories of the week. And you internets sure did like our post about how Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rolled his sweet Canadian ass into town to cavort with the sweet ass of our American President King Barry Sexxxytown Obama The First. In fact, it was (MORE SPOILER!) your top post of the week! You are all writing slash fiction right now (full of emojis probably) about those two, and also their hot wives, aren’t you? Don’t lie to us.

Anyway, we figured before we count down your top ten stories, we’d serve you up a few more pics of the Obamas and the Trudeaus being The Hottest at the State Dinner Thursday night. Like here are the First Couples after the Trudeaus arrived. Barry said Justin looked “spiffy,” we are not kidding.

obamatrudeaudinner

And here’s right after they took that picture, when Barry got THIS close to grabbing Justin’s butt.

obamatrudeaubutt
Dat ass.

Okay now that you are sufficiently aroused, it’s time for your top ten stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY.

1. WE JUST TOLD YOU WHAT THE TOP STORY WAS, YOU DINGALINGS. But here’s that link again if you need it.

2. For this week’s Off The Menu, it was restaurant customers who were actually Satan. But not literally.

3. Oh, did you guys hear Nancy Reagan died? Nancy Reagan died.

4. Oh, did you guys hear Ted Cruz maybe eated a booger during the Republican debate? Ted Cruz maybe eated a booger during the Republican debate.

5. A loving Christian daddy placed an ad in a nice Christian magazine, looking to “hire” a dude to come pry open his daughter’s virgin box. Totally normal.

6. Don’t you love it when Harry Reid trolls THE FUCK out of Republicans? We love it when he does that.

7. You all know that if legless vet Tammy Duckworth REALLY loved vets, she would give away some more limbs, right?

8. OLD STORY ALERT: This is from September, but it’s here now for some reason! South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley really wishes black folks wouldn’t be so ugly about getting shot by police.

9. Fox News tried to slay Donald Trump during its GOP debate. It didn’t work, but they get an “A” for effort!

10. And finally, silly drunk mess Sarah Palin says no YOU are a silly man, Mitt Romney, also too doncha know!

So there you go! Your top stories of the week. They are all wonderful, right? Thank you for saying that! If you love your Wonkette and want to help keep our staff happy and making hilarious jokes, please to click this link and throw $5 dollars at our faces, will ya? We love you and offer this picture of Justin Trudeau meeting Nancy Pelosi, who looks like a goddamn schoolgirl with a crush, as a thank you.

Nancy Pelosi right now: "Giggle! Giggity! GGGGGgggggg!"
Nancy Pelosi right now: “Giggle! Giggity! GGGGGgggggg!”

OK, we just got official word from Wonkette Baby Donna Rose that she is very disinterested in these quote unquote “world leaders,” and she requests that we close this post out with pictures of her. As she is THE TRUE BOSS OF US, we will comply and tell you all to enjoy your Saturday, unless you don’t like “enjoying things,” in which case you do you.

She is eating her waffle AT YOU.
She is eating her waffle AT YOU.
Donna Rose with her grandma, who is ALSO DONNA. Multi-generational Donnas, everyone!
Donna Rose with her grandma, who is ALSO DONNA. Multi-generational Donnas, everyone!
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  • 11. ….
    ~

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      I know it’s a new week today (depending on how you count it), but Cruz comparing the 1968 Chicago Convention and the attendant police riot to protesters shutting Donny Boy down in Chi Town yesterday.

      • eddi

        Then giggling, “we got him, we got him!” after the cameras are gone.

      • theCryptofishist

        Bobby Seale Leibullz!!1

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          “Electoral politics was always an objective of the Black Panther party, so Barack Obama is a part of what we dreamed and struggled and died for.”

      • Antimassacree

        Just wait to see what happens in the street if the GOP convention begins with neither Trump nor Cruz with 1237 delegates. Not to mention inside the convention hall!

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Eagerly anticipating that… and/or other GOP shenanigans…

        • Frank Underboob

          I’m kinda hoping that it turns into a shooting war, but I’m a pretty terrible person.

          • nmmagyar

            Me also, too. On both counts

          • Blank Ron

            I wouldn’t fret overly. It’s Cleveland.

          • Antimassacree

            Nah. Moar guns shouldn’t be the answer to political differences, even for these NRA’s nuts fondlers.

          • Zippy

            I’m not sure the sane people will get a say in it

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Not too terrible…

      • Jenny

        That’s the new talking point. I don’t see how it’s an apt comparison at all considering political leaders on the left were freaking assassinated all year long. Then there was that pesky war.

        Donny was free to take the stage if he wanted to. He didn’t because his stadium crowd was not in his favor.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Drama Queen

      • Latverian Diplomat

        How many people did the police beat up without reason this time?

        None?

        Analogy fail.

        • Zippy

          well, maybe that one CBS reporter (though I agree, analogy fail- that was the establishment against the protesters, here the cops pretty much just tried to keep things from getting ugly and didn’t take sides)

        • lroom

          Considering that massive crowd and all the menace in the air those cops did a helluva job.

  • MrBlobfish

    What’s a guy gotta do to get a waffle around here, huh?

    • Msgr_Moment

      “I got your waffle right here, fella.”

      • Doug Langley

        Just ignore the fishhook in it . . .

    • Thaumaturgist

      When is the last time Lula got a waffle? Some people say she is starving. Cuz nobody ever feeds her.

  • eddi

    I’m not gonna waffle around. Donna Rose is the cutest Wonkette.

  • Playonwords

    But is La donna è mobile? Remember what happened with Mika …

    • H0mer0

      if she’s cruising, she is. That flower petal hat and the sweet smile she has on her face while wearing it is just soooooo kyooooot!

  • Pickwicknext

    Damn you Wonkette! Now I want to eat waffles all day. With Canadian maple syrup!

    • theCryptofishist

      That’s what weekends are for.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Wonkette babby waffles! Awwwww!

  • Jenny

    Wait are those chocolate wrappers her heiress overlord is sitting on? Chocolate and Waffles at Grandma’s house? Grandma knows how to spoil!!

    • rebecca

      nah, just wrapping paper. by far her favorite present.

      • Beulah

        I was too busy admiring the TV stand to notice the wrapping paper. Something tells me I’d feel right at home there.

  • MarkM

    I just took a great big Dumpf,
    I think that I will name it “Trump”
    It’s so yooge, and classy too,
    No one’s going to know it’s poo,
    Dress it up with some weird hair,
    A bespoke suit, silk underwear,
    English shoes upon it’s feet,
    Wouldn’t that be really neat?
    Then, when it begins to speak…
    Oooops! Forgot about the reek!
    Fine cologne to kill the smell,
    NOW its time to raise some Hell!
    Stupid people clap and cheer,
    (They aren’t smart enough to jeer)
    They nod and smile-they agree with it!
    But we know it’s just a piece of shit…
    Is there a moral to this tale?
    Of a turd out on the campaign trail?
    Perhaps it’s this, anything can sell,
    in the States (If you can kill the smell…)

    • Msmlg1979

      Hahahahaa!!!

      • Rosewstephens3

        “my .friend’s mate Is getting 98$. HOURLY. on the internet.”….

        two days ago new Mc.Laren. F1 bought after earning 18,512$,,,this was my previous month’s paycheck ,and-a little over, 17k$ Last month ..3-5 h/r of work a days ..with extra open doors & weekly. paychecks.. it’s realy the easiest work I have ever Do.. I Joined This 7 months ago and now making over 87$, p/h.Learn. More right Hereoi!848➤➤➤➤➤ http://GlobalSuperEmploymentVacanciesReportsData/GetPaid/98$hourly…. .❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:❖:❦:::::oi!848….

  • Joe Beese

    Sadly, it looks like Wonkbabby is past peak waffle.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Gimme that waffle, kid. Ima steal your waffle.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Commie Grandma is the prima Donna. Heck, she was Donna pre-Madonna.

  • HEY BABBY!!!
    Leggo my Eggo (and my heart).

  • Frank Underboob

    Wait, Donna-Rose is walking already? Holy shit!

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      She’s cruising!

  • bozilingus
  • dslindc

    Good job, babby!

  • nmmagyar

    Just back from the HuffPo’s comment section. All the protesters were fat, unemployed and the women were too ugly to fuck. I used to enjoy the discussions that you could have over there…

    • Zippy

      I stopped posting there years ago (before the switch to FB) because even back then it was nothing but preaching to the choir or long, pointless arguments with idiots

      • jmk

        I did the same – I got tired of having the same arguments with the same people…and tired of some chick called Deborah telling me that I was of Satan and should be killed.

        • Zippy

          not to mention tired of Huffpoo turning into AOL/People Magazine

          • Peggy Ryan

            More like Cosmopolitan, in my opinion.

        • Msmlg1979

          You’re of Satan? When can we hang out?!

          • jmk

            Right now!!

      • Mr Corrections

        I stopped posting there … wait, actually I never posted there.

        But I stopped clicking on HuffPo links forever when they kept running anti-vaxxer articles.

        • Zippy

          yup, the anti vaxxer BS is maddening

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I like posting here. Much safer, what with comments not being allowed.

    • theblackdog

      I just avoid their site, period, since they basically do not pay their writers

      • Zippy

        that too- exposure bucks FTW!

      • H0mer0

        you mean Wonkette pays its writers with more than just Donna Rose pictures? I wish I could write….(actually, I do write for a living in the form of narratives that only my billing manager and plaintiff lawyers read.)(Ima not a defendent —yet.)

        • theblackdog

          Well Wonkette doesn’t have entire articles written about having a shitty pay structure. Though I bet Donna Rose pics are like gold.

      • Yep. Fuck HuffPo. Cheap-ass bastards.

    • azeyote

      ever since they changed into the AOL nazi police, comments just keep tacking right –

    • Shaydee

      Too ugly to fuck? Isn’t that the premise of Coyote Ugly?

  • azeyote

    enjoy what’s left of the Obama White house cause you might not see class like Barry and Michelle again –

  • AnOuthouse

    Donna looks like she found Shy’s stash, which explains the waffle.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    First draft of my #TruBama slash fiction:

    ?????

    • Shaydee

      Is that eggplant? I love eggplant … wait for it … raw!

  • wmd1961

    Infinite donnas? There’s Prima Donna and Ultima Donna. Which is the progenitor and which the prodigy is left for the internets to decide.

    Hey this is totally not allowed, but I’m doing it anyway.

  • Flodurn

    I’M SO FREAKING HAPPY Justin Trudeau is my PM.

    I’m only 47 but don’t anticipate living very long. I really want to go out with memories of this great guy doing right by my home and native land. His dad was awesome. HE will be awesome. VIVE LE CANADA!

  • Mr Corrections

    Hello yes I found a story that you should – no, MUST – read:
    http://marbleflan.tumblr.com/post/139501055481/relevant-to-both-your-library-post-and-archival

    So, when Obama was sworn in he asked to be sworn in on Abraham Lincoln’s bible. This upset various Republicans bc they thought he was getting special treatment or something. So when John Boehner was going to be sworn in as Speaker of the House, he too wanted to be sworn in on a special bible.

    So, an aide from Boehner’s office calls up special collections at LoC and says Boehner wants to be sworn in on the first bible printed in America. The librarian says, “Are you sure you want that bible?” and the aide gets kind of snippy and says, “We know what we want–we want the first bible printed in America,” and kind of goes off on a tear about preferential treatment, et c. et c. The librarian says fine and makes the arrangements.

    … not going to spoil the twist there.

    • brittany

      That’s good stuff…Did he end up using it?

      • Mr Corrections

        A Republican use a Bible with foreign* words? I think not.

        *foreign = not white, in Republican worldview. Don’t try to explain.

      • Mr Corrections

        To be honest, I can’t seem to find any mention of what Bible he was sworn in on, and instead of googling further I’m gonna go play video games.

    • Zyxomma

      I suspect that a member of the Wycliffe Society must have been involved. That’s how they roll.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I already sent you money for getting Trump-the DeTrumping story right (only one in the media, y’all), so Imma just leave this here.

  • hollydturner

    The Donna’s – They were a so-so all girl rock band back in the day. The Multi-Generational Donna’s are TOTAL ROCK STARS!

  • Shaydee

    President Obama is too cool.

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