OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! It’s time for your weekly top ten list, where we (SPOILER!) count down the top ten stories of the week. And you internets sure did like our post about how Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rolled his sweet Canadian ass into town to cavort with the sweet ass of our American President King Barry Sexxxytown Obama The First. In fact, it was (MORE SPOILER!) your top post of the week! You are all writing slash fiction right now (full of emojis probably) about those two, and also their hot wives, aren’t you? Don’t lie to us.
Anyway, we figured before we count down your top ten stories, we’d serve you up a few more pics of the Obamas and the Trudeaus being The Hottest at the State Dinner Thursday night. Like here are the First Couples after the Trudeaus arrived. Barry said Justin looked “spiffy,” we are not kidding.
And here’s right after they took that picture, when Barry got THIS close to grabbing Justin’s butt.
Okay now that you are sufficiently aroused, it’s time for your top ten stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY.
1. WE JUST TOLD YOU WHAT THE TOP STORY WAS, YOU DINGALINGS. But here’s that link again if you need it.
2. For this week’s Off The Menu, it was restaurant customers who were actually Satan. But not literally.
3. Oh, did you guys hear Nancy Reagan died? Nancy Reagan died.
4. Oh, did you guys hear Ted Cruz maybe eated a booger during the Republican debate? Ted Cruz maybe eated a booger during the Republican debate.
5. A loving Christian daddy placed an ad in a nice Christian magazine, looking to “hire” a dude to come pry open his daughter’s virgin box. Totally normal.
6. Don’t you love it when Harry Reid trolls THE FUCK out of Republicans? We love it when he does that.
7. You all know that if legless vet Tammy Duckworth REALLY loved vets, she would give away some more limbs, right?
8. OLD STORY ALERT: This is from September, but it’s here now for some reason! South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley really wishes black folks wouldn’t be so ugly about getting shot by police.
9. Fox News tried to slay Donald Trump during its GOP debate. It didn’t work, but they get an “A” for effort!
10. And finally, silly drunk mess Sarah Palin says no YOU are a silly man, Mitt Romney, also too doncha know!
So there you go! Your top stories of the week. They are all wonderful, right? Thank you for saying that! If you love your Wonkette and want to help keep our staff happy and making hilarious jokes, please to click this link and throw $5 dollars at our faces, will ya? We love you and offer this picture of Justin Trudeau meeting Nancy Pelosi, who looks like a goddamn schoolgirl with a crush, as a thank you.
OK, we just got official word from Wonkette Baby Donna Rose that she is very disinterested in these quote unquote “world leaders,” and she requests that we close this post out with pictures of her. As she is THE TRUE BOSS OF US, we will comply and tell you all to enjoy your Saturday, unless you don’t like “enjoying things,” in which case you do you.