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Gay Agenda-doing Gov. Nathan Deal and a furry or something.
Gay Agenda-doing Gov. Nathan Deal and a furry or something.

Gov. Nathan Deal of Georgia is a Republican. A super Republican. He thinks Syrian refugees are gross, because WWJD, and he wants to make sure that if any of those icky people get into Georgia, they won’t be allowed to bathe in the excessive filet mignon riches provided by food stamps. He also hates it when poor Georgians who are NOT refugees get to have medical care.

So you’d think that, with Georgia’s state senate passing a completely fucking insane “religious liberty” bill, which would protect Good Christian Assholes and their sacred right to discriminate against the homosexuals, Gov. Deal would be all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and full of boners about enshrining gay-hatin’ into state law. But what’s this?

In stark terms, the Republican said he would reject any measure that “allows discrimination in our state in order to protect people of faith,” and urged religious conservatives not to feel threatened by the ruling. He also called on his fellow Republicans pushing for the measure to take a deep breath and ” recognize that the world is changing around us.”

WAIT WHAT HUH? Is Nathan Deal a secret gay agenda-doer?! Even worse, he is doing the gay agenda with BIBLE VERSES?!?!111!?

“What the New Testament teaches us is that Jesus reached out to those who were considered the outcasts, the ones that did not conform to the religious societies’ view of the world … We do not have a belief in my way of looking at religion that says we have to discriminate against anybody. If you were to apply those standards to the teaching of Jesus, I don’t think they fit.” […]

“What that says is we have a belief in forgiveness and that we do not have to discriminate unduly against anyone on the basis of our own religious beliefs. We are not jeopardized, in my opinion, by those who believe differently from us. We are not, in my opinion, put in jeopardy by virtue of those who might hold different beliefs or who may not even agree with what our Supreme Court said the law of the land is on the issue of same-sex marriage. I do not feel threatened by the fact that people who might choose same-sex marriages pursue that route.”

Silly governor, when Jesus talked about outcasts, he didn’t mean yucky-ducky homowads! He was talking about things like white people with Confederate flags on the back of their trucks breaking down on the side of the road and needing a lift the rest of the way to Walmart. That’s like the whole point of the Good Samaritan story, duh.

We are just fooling, Deal’s quote is actually very nice. But huh, we wonder why the Republican governor is taking this stand, while the Republican legislature thinks the most important thing in the world is protecting Christian bakers from having to make penis cakes for lesbians. HMMMMMMMMMM!

This week, we told you that the Republican governor of South Dakota, Dennis Daugaard, vetoed one of those “Hey kids, can we look at your wee-wees while you pee-pee?” laws, intended to prevent a deluge of transgender people from being able to do their Number 1’s and 2’s with a little bit of dignity and privacy. Last year, the Republican governors of Arkansas and Indiana were forced to sign “fixed” religious freedom bills into law, bills that actually guaranteed people couldn’t use religious beliefs to discriminate against The Gays.

What’s the common denominator here? Oh, just that big business goes APESHIT over these laws, because they are (SPOILER ALERT) Bad For Business. When Indiana passed its initial Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA), corporations came down hard threatening to leave Indiana for literally anywhere else. In Arkansas, Walmart responded to a similar RFRA with a hearty “LOL!” and told Gov. Asa Hutchinson to fix it, dammit.

The sponsor of South Dakota’s No Whizzing For Transgenders law — the SPONSOR! — is encouraging his colleagues to uphold the governor’s veto, because “I think the national focus on South Dakota should be on our positive business environment, strong labor market, and excellent work our schools do.” Hmmmm, sounds like somebody’s caving to the Big Business Super Gay Industrial Complex!

And thus it is in Georgia, where business bigwigs like Michael Dell and Richard Fucking Branson are having a conniption, and even Dragon Con, which brings many tourism moneys to Georgia, is making subtle threats to seek greener, less hateful pastures if this law passes.

And that is the story of why Nathan Deal, a wingnut’s wingnut if there ever was one, is Bible-beating his fellow Republicans over their piggy heads, telling them their “Let’s Hate The Gays” bill is a bunch of bullshit and telling them, like so many governors before him, to FIX IT DAMMIT.

[The Atlanta Journal Constitution]

 

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