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Now if you'll excuse Me, I've got an adulteress to stone.
Now if you’ll excuse Me, I’ve got an adulteress to stone.

Jeb Bush may have started the week looking like an incompetent nebbish, but he wrapped it up with a strong appeal to the GOP’s deranged sociopath wing, proposing that the federal food stamp program be eliminated and replaced with block grants, if states even decide poor people deserve help. The proposal would kill off the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (aka food stamps), Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (microscopic cash payments to families with children), as well as federal housing assistance. Now before you start posting memes of Jeb asking “Are there no workhouses?” remember, he’s got a plan to replace them, and it just happens to have the same name as his superPAC:

Instead, state governments would be able to apply for new federal “Right to Rise” grants to pay for programs launched to assist lower-income residents.

“I know that giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity,” Bush wrote in a document outlining his plan released Friday morning.

Oh, “flexibility” and “transformative ideas”! In other words, whatever the hell states want to do, as long as it sufficiently shames people for being poor. Before speaking at an anti-poverty forum in South Carolina named for Jack “Cut Everything” Kemp, Bush released a document outlining why it’s time to simply kill off the chronically underfunded federal anti-poverty programs:

“We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty,” he wrote in the document. “Economic mobility is also far too low.” He added later, “The current broken system not only fails those on welfare, but it actually encourages fraud, misuse and abuse.”

We couldn’t end poverty by not spending enough on the poor, so now we’ll try ending poverty by spending even less to help them. God knows eliminating assistance to the poor should eventually start eliminating the poor themselves, as long as the states get serious about it. As far as we can tell from the coverage by WaPo and Reuters, while SNAP and TANF are available in some form to all Americans, the “Right To Rise” grants appear to be something the states could choose to apply for, or not. (Honestly, we don’t know. Would that even be legal?) Somewhere in Maine, Gov. Paul LePage may have soiled himself in joy.

The Bush plan would expand the Earned Income Tax Credit, so Fox News can complain even more loudly about all the poors who don’t even pay income tax, but would also mandate that the IRS more tightly screen applications for the EITC to check for fraud. And of course, all able-bodied adult recipients of “Right to Rise” benefits would be required to work, though where the jobs would come from, who knows?

Yeah, go ahead and post those Dickens memes whenever you want. We’d truly be disgusted with Jeb Bush if we thought he had any chance of becoming president.

[Reuters / WaPo / TPM]

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  • Nounverb911

    “We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty,”
    Why does ¡Jeb! hate the RED states?

    • Zippy

      and how many more millions would there be if we hadn’t spent that money? Funny how they never address that pesky detail…

    • SterWonk

      “Why does ¡Jeb! hate the RED states?”

      He doesn’t – just the people living in them.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      We have spent trillions on roads, and there is still traffic. Bring back the horses and buggies.

      • willi0000000

        we’ve spent more than that on the military and we still lose wars!

  • Anarchy Pony

    Instead of right wing wishful thinking that helps no one(and is actually quite harmful), perhaps we could look at other nations that have successfully worked to reduce their poverty and emulate the policies and programs that enabled them to do so…
    Crazy, I know.

    • wavicles

      HA! Are they America? They’re not, so how could those policies ever work here? We’re different! /s

      • Vecciojohn

        When Jesus writes each country’s report card, we will be graded “Exceptional!”

        • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

          Does not play well with others.

          • eddi

            Does not play well with itself.

          • Pickwicknext

            Plays with itself inappropriately.

          • eddi

            Much better.

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

            Plays with self in public

        • Anarchy Pony

          Exceptional(ly) mediocre…

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Does not play well with anyone. Including itself

          • Vecciojohn

            Oh, I think we’ve been successfully playing with ourselves for decades now.

          • mtn_philosoph

            Grade F – Cannot even figure out a zip-up hoodie.

    • Vecciojohn

      Yeah, and turn into a totalitarian nightmare society like Sweden or plucky little Belgium? Pardon me, but I like Liberty just fine, brother. P-toooie!

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Mitt Romney used to run a commercial about how the American standard of living was slipping and there were 10 other countries with higher standards of living. The list would go by really fast so you could barely read it, but I made a point of watching it to see what the countries were. Every last one of the countries was a socialist democracy in Europe.

        • Vecciojohn

          These are the kinds of facts that we need to keep from the voters. Thank God for our free market press that drives unwanted realities out of the American conciousness. Well, that and high fructose corn syrup and vodka.

      • mtn_philosoph

        Poor Belgium and Denmark! Just think of their poor citizens, trapped in a socialist nightmare behind the Beer’NCheese Curtain.

        • Vecciojohn

          I include them in my evening prayers.

    • Swampay

      Are other countries The Greatest Country on Earth Ever? Do other countries have constitutions written personally by Jesus? Do other countries share the burden of maintaining the world’s largest arsenal* by overpaying for everything but the humans and sloshing around enough untraceable money to embarrass a renaissance pope? No? I thought not. So what could we possibly learn from them?

      • Swampay

        *heh. “Arsenal” has “arse” in it. heh heh.

      • Anarchy Pony

        How to suck less, probably.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      That’s just crazy talk! Next you’ll suggest we try the same thing for health care.

    • Pickwicknext

      Well, you’re all in trouble now. That’s the premise of Michael Moore’s latest movie. Repugs will be burning that idea to the motherfucking ground than even possibly agree with Moore

    • Pinkham’s Law

      WHT THE EVERLIVEING FUCK! How dare you suggest that anybody besides the USA could everr do tings better thatn the USSASA does?!?!??!?! FUCicihngv MUSlon EXTeremist! jihaddddddiiiii! aakl;sjfakl;jfdskljkljaklsdjfkl!!!>!!!?!!!

      • Anarchy Pony

        Excellent wingnuttery But ” dare you suggest that anybody besides” <– This part was too coherent. Overall 8/10. Would wingnut again.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I thought the devolution from semi-sentience to utter incoherence might gain some extra points.

          • Anarchy Pony

            Needed just slightly less coherence.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            The suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!

          • Pinkham’s Law

            Damn. So close

      • lroom

        Needz moar umlauts!!!111!!!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      In 1968, ABC News did a special, “Poverty In America.” People were shocked to learn the true scope of the problem, and Congress immediately set out to rectify the situation (Remeber them?). In ten years, the federal government eliminated almost all the chronic poverty issues in America. Reagan got rid of all those programs as soon as he got into office, and the poverty rate skyrocketed, never to drop again.

  • Enfant Terrible

    ‘Cause, Lord knows, we need more Americans to lift themselves out of poverty without any help… like Craig T. Nelson.

    /FFS

    • Nounverb911

      Oh, and Paul Ryan too,also.

      • Anarchy Pony

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Makes sense to me.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          George Carlin summed it up quite succinctly:

          The upper class gets all the money and pays no taxes.
          The middle class pays all the taxes and does all the work.
          The poor exist to scare the middle class into not leaving their shitty jobs.

      • Zippy

        AOT,K

      • Vegan and Tiara

        …and Scott Brown, and Jim “Crème” DeMint.

  • Zippy

    Pandering nitwit proclaims “I can be an asshole too!”

    • Vecciojohn

      Bum fights! You think Trump has the balls to suggest using bum fights to raise revenue and keep taxes down? Jeb! Don King’s really evil twin.

  • Zippy

    Because state tax breaks for corporations is the best way to feed hungry children

    • Vecciojohn

      I used to give a little money to the poor, but I heard it only disincentivised them. Turns out the invincible hand takes care of these sort of people in accordance with God’s will.

      • Zippy

        but CEOS, on the other hand…

      • Hemp Dogbane

        The Invincible Hand is the Trump upgrade we’ve all been waiting for ! Probably will be called Platinum Invincible Hand.

  • tia

    There goes Jeb! licking that silver spoon again.

    • nmmagyar

      Nope. He’s not that high on the food chain. He’s licking the taint of the guy with the silver spoon.

  • Jonathan Lawson

    Jeb! says nothing new.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …time to start constructing Hooverville’s Bushville’s!!!

    • Vecciojohn

      Hell, there’s already at least one in any town of any size.

  • Vecciojohn

    Jerkhouses? Doesn’t Pauly Walnuts have a piece of a couple of those places?

    • DahBoner

      In a few months, Jerkstores will be selling Jeb! for half off.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …seriously, seriously, does the Republican Party just pend all their time going through the history books highlighting every failed social experiment for the last 200 hundred years and then just renaming it and bringing it back?!?!?!?

  • rg9rts

    Guess Jeb doesn’t like the military very much….lots of military families are on SNAP

    • SterWonk

      And that’s not fucked up at all.

      • eddi

        No Reb cares about the cannon fodder.

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          Soldiering’s for the plebes.

          • Pickwicknext

            Yup. Ask W. or Cheney. or Rush. They gots some fancy medical deferments to avoid the poorz

  • But all the states have been so reliable in funding higher and public education and mental health services!

  • Zippy

    “Economic mobility is also far too low.”

    Hey dipshit, care to guess when that process started to happen? Here’s a hint… it started in earnest right around the time Americans foolishly elected that guy whose rotting corpse in Simi Valley you continue to fellate and refer to as some sort of Saint

    • willi0000000

      from The Book of Wonderfulness™

      “I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.”
      – Abraham Lincoln, Nov. 21, 1864 (letter to Col. William F. Elkins)

      • Zippy

        dammit, it’s a good sounding quote

        http://www.snopes.com/quotes/lincoln.asp

        • eddi

          What a pity.

          • Zippy

            yup, I had hoped to read the entire letter, but was bummed when I saw the Snopes hit near the top of the search results- sucks being one of those big dumb libtards that verifies things instead of wallowing in confirmation bias

          • eddi

            It is hard to maintain a flexible world view. And even harder to realize when you aren’t doing it.

          • Vienna Woods

            I got a note from my principal yesterday that had on the front “It’s not the years in your life- it’s the life in your years”- Abraham Lincoln. Right, because that sounds SO 1860’s. http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/07/14/life-years-count/

        • willi0000000

          that doesn’t make it any less fun to say.

        • Lot_49

          But he did say this, and it’s even better:

          Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    I need to get started on my cookbook. Great Bootstrap Recipes For Every Day Of The Week.

    • Zippy

      with lots of recipes for hobo beans

      • Hemp Dogbane

        Gluten-free Hobo Beans.

        • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

          With gluten-free salt.

          • nmmagyar

            And kale

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

            I hear kudzu is edible.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            EVERYthing is edible. You can eat a shoe – that does’tr mean it provides nutrition.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Hobo beans? Extravagance!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        One recipe for the beans and one for the empty can. Everyone loves a twofer.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          You can afford CANNED beans instead of dry? Fucking upper middle class asshole. Step off. I SAID, STEP THE FUCK OFF, ASSHOLE!

    • SayItWithWookies

      It’s a sole food cookbook, I take it.

    • proudgrampa

      Suede leather has more fiber than regular leather. Make sure you include a few recipes for more fiber.

    • DahBoner

      I heard high heel boots make an interesting serving bowl for South Florida Cuban Stew…

  • deanbooth

    ALEC is drawing up a template plan titled Hardly Assistance for Lazy Families, also known as the HALF program.

  • 451 Byrnes

    Which actual asshat do you guys think will take this and run with it? And how does his wife put up with this bullsit?

    • wavicles

      Prolly liqour and/or pharms.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    “We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty Terror,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty more terrorists,” he wrote in the document….“The current broken system not only fails those on welfare everyone, but it actually encourages fraud, misuse and abuse.”

    • mailman27

      Failed everyone except Halliburton. Bathtubs full of cash.

  • JustPixelz

    “…mandate that the IRS more tightly screen applications for the EITC…”

    Ole Jeb’s sendin’ in the revenuers.

    • Zippy

      I thought they all wanted to eliminate the IRS… the wingnuts ain’t gonna like that idea, Jebbers

    • SayItWithWookies

      Beautiful idea — cut the IRS’s budget, then make them focus more on alleged fraud from the lowest-income sector. Gee, to whose advantage would that plan be?

      • Major_Major_Major

        ERRYONE’S!!!1!!!!1 Them profits ain’t just gonna trickle, they are gonna pour, down. That or the opposite, not sure which.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I’ll take “opposite” for $200, please.

      • DahBoner

        I’ve been dealing with the IRS last year. You could literally deduct trips to the Bunny Ranch now, they’re so understaffed…

  • nmmagyar

    As anyone else that has worked under a federal grant will attest, it doesn’t matter is you call the fucking thing a “Ham Sandwich” – if the funds come from the feds, regardless of how many different layers you add on, you still play by their rules and follow their reporting guidelines. All this “program” would do is strip away even more dollars to support state agencies by way of additional bureaucracy and reporting. I’m sure Jeb@#$ has a few “third-party administrators” in mind for this new program.

    • Zippy

      Half the states would just shift the money to pay off their budget shortfalls, then declare their austerity programs a success and call for more tax cuts now that the budget is balanced.

      • nmmagyar

        Until the first audit (which is annual) when they are found to be non-compliant with the grant and the funds have to be repaid. This isn’t fucking rocket science. ARRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!

        • D_C_Wilson

          They’ll just claim they’re using the “flexibility” to develop the “transformative ideas” that Jeb! promised they could.

          • nmmagyar

            A-133 audits aren’t big on allowing flexibility. And there is no way in hell Jeb)^@ will have enough votes in both houses to change those standards.

          • D_C_Wilson

            Nah, he’ll just “reinterpret” them.

          • nmmagyar

            He can certainly try, but the standards are law. With this court, however…

          • D_C_Wilson

            Yep, that’s where his ability to appoint new judges comes in.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Zip, Zip, Zip. You’ll never make it at the state level. Tax cuts come first. Austerity is an after-thought.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Trail) famously told Obama that he wanted to use the money that Obama was giving to the states to make work to create jobs, to pay off the massive debt that Sanford had run up in South Carolina. Sanford claimed he was going to refuse the money otherwise, Obama told him to get bent. Of course Sanford took the money.

        • Beaumarchais?

          THEN he got bent.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            …and re-elected.

  • Morpheus Felinae

    To paraphrase the fabulous former Texas Governor, Ann Richards: ‘Poor Jeb. He can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.’

    • D_C_Wilson

      I still wonder what the fuck happened to Texas. How did they managed to go from Ann Richards to George W. Bush to Rick Perry to Greg Abbott in the course of a single generation? Who is their next governor going to be? An inanimate carbon rod?

      • nmmagyar

        They should be so lucky

      • sw19womble

        Mitt Romney wants to become governor of Texas?

      • Major_Major_Major

        A sulphorous pile of radioactive slag, cause deregulation will make sure that is all that remains.

      • doktorzoom

        Karl Rove helped a hell of a lot with the switch from Richards to Shrub — there were these anonymous robocall push polls that asked voters if they’d be “more or less likely to vote for Governor Richards if [they] knew her staff is dominated by lesbians.”

        The connection between those calls and Rove was never proven for certain, but they sure smelled of his handiwork.

        • sw19womble

          Harper pulled the same stunt north of the border. The classics are the best.

          • Vienna Woods

            Sunny days, now. Sunny days.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Rove was also responsible for the infamous “McCain fathered a black child out of wedlock” pamphlets that were left on churchgoer’s cars, when Bush and McCain were rivals in the GOP primary. Lee Atwater’s soul lives on in Rove.

          • mailman27

            That would be Lee Atwater’s “soul.” What a pack of hyenas.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’ve always wondered what it’s like to not have a conscience or a soul.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Whatever it’s like, it sure beats the hard work of being a human being.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Amen to that, brother.

      • Jenny

        Actually Ann was a damn fluke. She only got in because her opponent was absolutely so bad that it couldn’t go any other way. The governors before her and after her were nothing but shitbags. It’s tradition.

        • D_C_Wilson

          So how badly does an opponent have to be before you can get another Ann. How much worse than Abbott do they have to get?

          • Zippy

            don’t ask- they’ll take it as a challenge

          • Jenny

            A lot worse. There was a libertarian candidate that drew votes away from Williams. In addition, there were lots of talk about Williams visiting an underage male brothel. Then he made a rape joke on camera and refused to shake Ann’s hand. Ann still only won 49% – 47%; the libertarian votes would have put Williams over the top.

            As long as you got an R next to your name, you’re in office. Criminal records and poor personal ethics be damned!

          • Beaumarchais?

            How bad? It took the disaster of W for America to elect a Ni-Clang.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The blahs got more uppity, and the latinos got more numerous.

      • just_jim

        It’d be nice if they hit bottom with Abbott and moved up to an inanimate carbon rod in the next election. At least an inanimate carbon rod isn’t actively evil.

      • danteardenz

        The ignition of Religious Fundamentalist to politics ,and realignment of Dixiecrats ( who propped up ” Liberals” , inside the Democrat Party to the GOP.

        Deregulation of airwaves created FOX ,Limbaugh TV Preachers.
        Financial deregulation creating huge wealth at the top ,to back it up.

  • bumfug

    Jeb explained that his plan wouldn’t hurt anyone because “they can buy all the food they want with the money they save not having a place to live”.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Or go to an emergency room! They have to take ’em. “Have some crackers.”

  • JMP

    Now be fair, Jeb! Bush’s proposal isn’t designed to screw the poor; it’s designed to literally let the poor starve to death. The headline makes it look much less vile than it actually is.

    • Thaumaturgist

      How much have “the poors” contributed to JEB!’s campaign? If they would quit their complaining and tithe some of their welfare back to JEB! and to the state parties maybe they JEB! and some of the state politicians would pay a bit more attention to them.

  • deanbooth

    Why is dependence on the government bad? Because it means people are less dependent on their employers or churches. Dependence is a form of power, and social programs reduce the power of corporations and pastors.

    • xy

      are you the same dean booth that used change comic strips? because that would be awesome.

      • deanbooth

        Yes, yes I am.

        • xy

          cool. you still do that? i was in the ‘making fun of comic strip’ business a while back too.

  • Tendernob

    Jeb! has, of course, worked very, very hard his entire life, all by himself, to achieve his political career and bank account balance.

    • DahBoner

      The Upper Class equivalent of food stamps is sitting on a Board.

      I know someone who had an asphalt business who sat on the board of a solar panel company. The only thing in common was they both used money to buy and sell stuff…

  • JMP

    Block grants to the states sound like a swell idea; I mean it’s not like state leaders are known for doing horrific things to the poor, like intentionally giving lead poisoning to an entire city of poor, mostly black people.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Fuck’em if they can’t take a drink.

      • calliecallie

        “Let them drink beer.” – Rick Snyder

    • DahBoner

      Some cities fill Black people with lead one way. Other cities fill Black people with lead other ways…
      https://media1.giphy.com/media/i5JJP3rne092w/200w_d.gif

  • “Are there no Men’s Wearhouses?”

    – Jebenezer Bush

    • glasspusher

      Your comment looked great- I’ll guarantee it.

    • bozilingus

      In every asshole’s jacket you will find a stupid lining.

      • xy

        also, inside the cuffs and collar.

    • Zippy

      I’m just amazed he managed to put it on properly

      • Doug Langley

        He was in luck – there’s no zipper.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Somebody dressed him. That pic is from Hour 3 of Jeb! trying to take it off.

    • DahBoner

      Can’t be a real Republican? Where’s the red tie?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      !Jeb the Flasher rides again!

    • Beaumarchais?

      That should warm his donors’ hearts.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I want to upfist you and gay marry you. In that order.

  • glasspusher

    Is it me, or does Jeb seem half-hearted in his attempts to win over the Republican faithful?

  • Major_Major_Major

    Stinkin’ poor’s should just get a jerb. If they can’t find a jerb, just move. Movin’ don’t cost nuthin’.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sorry, Mr. Joad … no jobs here in L.A. Keep moving west until you find something.

  • sw19womble

    All these batshit monetarist theories sound funny on the campaign trail: however, given that we’ve seen a generation where his junkie moron brother got/stole the Presidency twice, quickly followed by a black man reaching the office, I wouldn’t rule anything out.
    Unfortunately.

  • glasspusher

    …and this after I’ve read earlier this week that the USA has poor folks who have the lowest IQ scores, likely because they’re not getting proper nutrition. Great. Pull away the last hope they have.

    • Zippy

      What better way to punish lazy parents- starve their children

      • sw19womble

        But low-fat babies are better for your cholesterol.

        • nmmagyar

          Kudos on your Swift response

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Well, we could also too give the kids lead to drink.

  • Tansy Geek

    If anyone is interested in taunting ammosexual trolls, there’s one lurking in the Marco Rubio post.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “After studying the problem by consulting our Bibles, we’ve discovered the real problem with poverty — it doesn’t suck enough for people to want to rise up out of it. Our party aims to fix that.”

  • Zippy

    I love how Jeb! modestly proposed this idea…

    • Left Coast Tom

      I love how Jeb! named this modest proposal after a Super PAC with which he’s legally not coordinating…

      • eddi

        Add it to the Jeb-isms that are keeping us both amused and appalled at the same time.

    • Msgr_Moment

      You posted more swiftly than I could.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Zippy would be the Dean of commenters, if comments were allowed.

        • Zippy

          Dean Wormer mebe. Anyone caught posting comments will be put on double sekrit probation!

    • Major_Major_Major

      Damnit, I should refresh more often.

  • beavertank

    It always amazes me how someone can look at a system that’s clearly broken because the rich wrote it to help themselves get a leg up, and negligently fuck everyone else, and conclude that the only way to fix it is by giving the rich more of a leg up while actively fucking everyone else.

    I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Assumes facts not in evidence; that they have any intention of fixing it.

    • georgiaburning

      It’s like the old Soviet system. The believers can’t accept that their ideas are wrong, they conclude that they weren’t pursuing them with enough vigor. Eventually things are so f*d up that they can’t go on, but that takes years.

      • Lot_49

        Pretty sure the “believers” in the GOPer prescription for prosperity are mostly the innocent dupes getting screwed. The Riches know they’re fucking over the poor, but don’t care.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        You just described several people I know. In the face of overwhelming evidence that trickle down economics doesn’t work, they’ll insist that we need to cut taxes on the rich and make the poor pay “their fair share.” Most of the people I know who think this way are lower middle class people.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I love the GOP handwringers who say “look at the horrific $18 trillion dollar debt that Obaman single handedly ran up, so let’s fix it with more wars and tax cuts.”

  • Swampay

    Hey, he might be on to something! The war on drugs is a total failure, let’s stop doing that. The war on Terra isn’t going so well, let’s cut that shit out. War in general seems to be on a steep losing trend, let’s just cut DoD spending until they get their shit together!

    Then we can stop the war on poverty too. Instead let’s just call it, I dunno, taking care of our fellow citizens. We can fund the shit out of that.

  • Major_Major_Major

    “This fellow Swift’s Modest Proposal sounds like a gen-you-wine humdinger. Let’s do it.”- Yebbers

  • Jenny

    Don’t forget the extra tax cuts!

    • DahBoner

      Tax Cuts for the Rich is really Republican’s Secret Sauce…

  • Major_Major_Major

    Tax cuts for some, misery for all*.

    *Some not included

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Jeb supports “transformative ideas?” So he’s in favor of creating transsexuals?

  • DahBoner

    would be able to apply for new federal “Right to Rise” grants

    Newsflash…
    Jeb! wants taxpayers to pay for FREE BONER PILLS!!!!1!1!
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/cpBmLT6YG904M/200w_d.gif

    • Zippy

      somehow your name seems especially apt

  • Callyson

    • Lot_49

      7. I don’t like him.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I don’t like his whole fucking family, including his war criminal brother George, his crook brother Neil, his racist mother, and the fetus who lives in the jar.

    • Msgr_Moment

      8. Cheated his idiot brother into the White House.

      Unforgiveable.

  • PubOption

    Did this ‘Right to Rise’ meet with rapturous applause from the Republican faithful?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Yeah, but they all thought he was talking about his plan to provide free Viagra for the 1%.

  • Skwerl King

    “I know that giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity,”

    Let me guess, these programs would “help” people through the “free market” meaning the “organizations” run by political cronies local businesses.

    • nmmagyar

      Churches (who are free to discriminate) also, too

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      My liege!

    • danteardenz

      The Republicans have been dreaming and scheming to give ” welfare ” money to their Fundamentalist Church base as a pay off ,and the poor ,” sing for their supper “.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “I know that giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity,”

    Unless those states are Texass, Kansass, Okiehoma, Aridzona, Floriduh, Alablamma ….

    • eddi

      Oh their ideas will will be transformative. They will transform working poor into starving masses of homeless. And give them the opportunity to die quickly and reduce the general population.

  • Ergoetal

    Too bad Jeb never had a chance to get a real job, so he might know something.

  • beatbort

    “The top 1% captured an estimated 95% of the income growth during the 2009-2012 recovery period, with their pre-tax incomes growing 31.4% adjusted for inflation while the pre-tax incomes of the bottom 99% grew 0.4%. By 2012, the top 10% (top decile) had a 50.4% share of the pre-tax income, the highest level since 1917.”

    My only comment to Jeb Bush is: pay up, bloodsucker!

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      2009-2012? When Obama was imposing socialism?

      In conclusion, Obama needs to get better at class warfare.

      • Pickwicknext

        Shhh…that’s what this year is for

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          I’m also terrible at keeping birthday presents secret.

          • Pickwicknext

            I’m getting a pony!!!!!!

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            I didn’t say a word!

          • Pickwicknext

            it was all in the subtext. (and a much better present than many other things)

  • TheBidenator

    I think a great title for Jeb’s autobiography would be “Moron: A Tale of Two ZIppers”

  • TheBidenator

    I’ll borrow from Ann Richards: Poor Jeb, he was born with a silver crayon lodged in his brain…

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Barb, knowing she was knocked up yet again, probably drank the most while fetus Jeb was living inside her.

  • Bitter Scribe

    First Paul Ryan wants to turn Medicare into block grants, now this.

    What the fuck, why even have a federal government? Just throw money at the states and let them do whatever they want.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Better idea: not have any government at all, and see how that works out for a year or two. All of the old fucks who watch Fox “News” and depend on the evil federal government for “wealth redistribution” would be begging for the return of “socialism.”

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Cool. We’ll eliminate the overpopulation issue at the same time! With half the population, we’ll have full employment after government resumes functioning!

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Don’t forget we’ll also have a lot of attrition due to people murdering one another. Between the death of the olds, the poors, and the constant gun play, we’re well on our way to letting only the strongest survive. We’ll be living in a utopian, Randian paradise! Will you excuse me? I’m off to add to my arsenal.

      • Biff52

        Can we please just aim this at them? I get by on a gummint check, but I’ve never tuned in to fox…

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Honestly, I think the threat of eliminating SS would have Republicans racing to the polls on their Hoverounds to pull the D lever. If Republicans get to enact more tax cuts, we’re not going to have the money to fund SS anyway, and I wish the Ds would make this more of an issue.

    • AnnieW

      Only if we throw money at them proportionate to how much they send in….

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      Gov. Abbott, is that you?

      Wait, no. You included even the possibility of funding, you RINO.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The current broken system not only fails those on welfare, but it actually encourages fraud, misuse and abuse.

    All this alleged fraud, with almost as little evidence as there is for voter fraud.

    Remember all the drug users that were living large on welfare? Except expensive state testing programs couldn’t find any?

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I met a college kid Conservatard a few years ago who gave me this whole story about how it was so easy to get on welfare that her affluent friend had applied for it. I asked how the friend was enjoying it, and she said “oh, they found that she wasn’t eligible.” I said “good thing for her, because people get prosecuted pretty heavily for federal fraud. Oh, and by the way, was the point of your story that it is difficult to get welfare AND that it’s illegal to commit fraud?” Same idiot explained to me in 2009 that the economy had collapsed under the GOP’s six year reign of terror because “we just didn’t have enough time.” I asked her how much more time they would need to COMPLETELY destroy the economy.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Right wingers are not only congenital liars, but they also fail pretty much any test that involves logic.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Talking to her was like talking to a rock.

          • Squirrel_t_robot

            I had the same sort of experience whilst working a few RNC conventions. Silly right wingers rightsplaining this and that.

            It was fun watching some trying to explain why Reagan’s ‘star wars’ program was not actual government spending, as well.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I told my neighbor that Reagan had tripled the national debt with an insane spending war against the Soviets. He interprets that as “Reagan ended communism, so tripling the national debt is cool, but a black guy who raises the debt by 40% due to a massive recession is terrible.” Derp.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I will not rest until the poorest Americans are as bankrupt as my ideas.” — ¡Jeb!.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Let them eat bootstraps!

    • A Grumpy Cat

      And let them drink lead!

      • Msgr_Moment

        In Flint, or liquid bullets?

  • A Grumpy Cat

    JFC, Jeb! I felt sorry for you for a whole week or so when Trump was kicking you in the nads. I had empathy for your pathetic, worthless, piece of shit ass. Fuck you. Just fuck you.

    • Christian Kane and Beth Riesgraf are my heroes. :D

      • A Grumpy Cat

        I miss that show so much.

  • Rick Hill

    “…flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas ”

    Republico-servative translation: “We’ll give away block grants to our cronies and contributors who will maximize their profits while minimizing any actual benefits to the poor.”

    • AnnieW

      We will use block grants to artificially make our budgets look better (or less pathetic in some cases) so we can justify more tax breaks for the wealthy!

  • Rick Hill

    That’s how these people roll. They don’t want some of the “Fuck you, assholes!” that are available. They want them all.

  • Ricky Gay

    he is beneath contempt but diggin’ for ratdicks

  • Me not sure

    Still on zero.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      He’s like Texas. Wait…aren’t the Bush’s from Texas?
      I see a pattern here

    • Callyson

      How did I miss this gem when I did a gif search for Jeb!? Shamelessly stealing for future use…

      • Me not sure

        Yer welcome.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Doesn’t he take any days off?

      • Me not sure

        He’s a low energy dynamo!

    • The great thing is, you can swap in any other GOP candidate and it’s still true.

      • Me not sure

        Trump’s measures in hours.

  • SK

    “I know that giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity,”

    Because how one starves in Kentucky is totally different from how one would starve in Georgia.

  • Linda1961

    What? No bootstraps for the poors?

    • SK

      That you get only if you elect Fuckabee

    • Charon_69

      The poor get the strap applied to their booty instead

      • willi0000000

        *in best Miss Emily voice*

        “what’s all this about strap-on bootie”

        [ nevermind ]

  • Vegan and Tiara

    I’m OK with this as long as we have a concurrent tax cut on the wealthy.

  • therblig

    “incompetent nebbish”? no way. he’s an outstanding nebbish and really good at it. also “fraud, misuse and abuse”? he’s misquoting st. ronnie – it’s “waste, fraud, and abuse”.

  • maggie

    how nice he promises to starve children in poverty….that should do wonders for our nation….

  • TheGrandWaz00

    Sez the guy who’s spent $50 million on hisself because he’s merely starved for attention.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Time for Fox News to prove how everyone is cheating the system, because one surfer dude once used his SNAP coin to buy a lobster.

    One person means they all do it, you know.

    • LiterallyTheGayAgenda

      Plus, yknow. The random person they saw in the checkout line once couldn’t have possibly saved up to have a nice dinner for once, they must be faking being poor!

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Justice Anthony Kennedy used the same air tight, leak proof logic to rule against the right to abortion: he read a report that one woman felt bad after she had an abortion, so he used that one case to argue for restricting abortions for any and all women.

        I am sad to say this is a true story.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Will Jeb the Neb also seek out waste, fraud and abuse by, say, companies like Haliburton?

    Of course not!

  • Poly_Ester

    “Starve it to death” is the GOP’s solution to every problem, sort of a one-size-fits-all solution. Leaves more time for fund raising.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Because some right wingers once saw a fat black lady use her EBT card; it proves the entire system is rife with fraud, you see.

      Their logic is shaky, even in the best light.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Of course, she was one of the “few” that actually had something like a thyroid problem, so she couldn’t help being fat but that doesn’t matter. She was FAT, dammit!

    • Vegan and Tiara

      The one exemption to that rule is tax cuts. The GOP can never get enough tax cuts.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        That’s some sweet, sweet right wing heroin right there.

      • Poly_Ester

        But tax cuts aren’t the problem, they’re the solution.

    • HenryKillinger

      Well not every problem. They want people with pre-existing medical conditions to die from lack of health care. Starvation’s just a bonus in cases like that.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Years ago I read a statistic that Food Stamps was one of the few government programs that actually contributed more to the economy than it cost. The statistic was something like “for every dollar spent on Food Stamps, there is a $1.36 in economic activity created.” Makes sense that THIS would be the program that Jeb! would want to cut.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Indeed.

      The way the US economy is structured: currency is only valuable if it moves around. It doesn’t matter where the coin you spend comes from – government, pay, inheritance – what matters is spending.

      So, even when the Poors spend whatever money they have – even those dastardly SNAP dollars! – they are helping the economy.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        So you’re saying that once people have over $100 million dollars, they probably just hoard any additional money, and therefore don’t stimulate the economy through spending? Why do you hate America and the troops, you commie bastard?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It doesn’t benefit the parasite overclass, of which ¡Heb! is a member. Therefore it must be eliminated.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I never understood why conservatives got such hard-ons about a benign program like public transit until I realized they’d never use it, so they don’t want to help pay for it.

    • greyXstar

      Well, it actually helps people and really can’t be gamed by the rich to get richer, so…

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Worthless!

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    At least most poor people can manage to get a hoodie on themelseves without getting lost and needing directions.

    • willi0000000

      . . . but wearing one while poor can get you shot.

      [ EWNW gets you that too . . . but that’s an argument for another forum ]

  • TheGipper

    “If the poor would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.”

    Scrooge 2016

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      All while being pro life for fetuses and the brain dead.

      • willi0000000

        pro life = pro war

        pro life = pro death penalty

        [ no cog, no dis ]

        • Swampgas_Man

          Pro-forced birth, not pro-life.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            SLUTS MUST BE PUNISHED FOR THEIR SEXYTIMES!

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    We already have seen how some states prefer cutting off their noses rather than expanding Medicaid so more people can have health insurance.

    Now, Jeb the Dumb One wants to empower states so the states can squash the Poors even better.

    • greyXstar

      Exactly this.

      Same exact argument was used in allowing states to not expand Medicaid. “Oh, states will come up with better ideas”. Except that didn’t happen. They refused expansion, and never did anything else. You can fool some of the people all the time.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    The illogic of using one example to justify wiping out entire programs is the kind right wingers like best!

    • OneDemin EOr

      Illogic, thy name is Republican.

  • SadDemInTex

    The so-called “Arab Spring” did not occur because of a deep thirst for democracy….it was a deep thirst for clean water and food and jobs….people were starving and had no money. If the a GOP lead government continues down that road there will be blood spilled (and it will not just be the blood of the poors).

    OT: I was got to state my hatred of Ted Cruz on talk radio. I’m only sorry I didn’t get to state the irony of Trump being racist to the Cubanadian who has reinvented himself as a white supremist. With apologies to janecita….all Cubans’ DNA can be shown to have signifcant portion of African DNA. All countries south of the US determined “white” strictly on skin color and social status ($$). I wish the modern generation would decide that it does not matter what is in the ancestry that the DNA is just human. I only bring it up because people like Cruz insanely hold on to the idea of “whiteness”. (How many times have I heard someone from Cuba clarify their backround…”I’m Spanish Cuban”. No dude, you are a rich amalgam of many lines of descent…which includes African slaves, some indigenous locals, and European. And for the record people from Spain intermingled heavily with their Moorish invaders and with every color of people in every part of the world they sailed. Jeez, the Queen of England has DNA from the sub-continent (and it is only about 200 years ago). We are such a fucking racist country.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Pretty sure if you did an Ad mixture on most white southeners, you’d find a fair mix of African DNA as well as Native American and whatever else was handy.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Gawd knows, my personal ancestors were more enthusiastic than choosy.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Mine as well. We’re all over the friggin globe, except Asia (that I know of, except by extension of the First Americans which, being 10k years or so ago, probably no longer counts).
          Horny assed anscestors.

      • bupkus23

        Face it, we all originated from African DNA ( i.e. Australopithecus, etc. ). Of course, this was before anyone capable of naming the continent was around ( Sorry, Lucy – but you just weren’t all that smart ).

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Pft, Australopithecus smithicus, the first Homo sapiens were out of Africa. Actually, from current DNA studies, the only “pure” humans left in the entire globe are in Africa. The rest of us all have sub branch (Neander/Denoviwhatevers/etc) DNA and are, well. Mutts.
          We’re all mutts.

          • Duke

            My Neanderthal genes Rock!

          • danteardenz

            I believe you are !

      • SadDemInTex

        Just about every “white” person who has a long family history in the USA, north, south, east , west has African DNA. My own history indicates African genes from the 1600’s and I’m as north east and west as they come

    • Jonny On Maui

      My entire life at home my mom went on and on about how pure her german ancestry was. A few world history classes later I asked her how many of her ancestors were raped by the various tribes fleeing westward in front on the mongols.

      My mom was a pure white bread racist tool.

      One of my sons, as a young, asked where our ancestors came from. I told him “everywhere”. I like breaking chains…

      • danteardenz

        The only ” racism ” allowed is directed at whites…not to worry your going extinct !

        • Jonny On Maui

          We’re all going extinct. I’m just glad the stupid get there faster.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Phhhhsst. One Drop Rule.

      • SadDemInTex

        I think you would find this book completely fascinating “The Legal History of the Color Line: The Rise and Triumph of the One Drop Rule” you can buy hard copy or Kindle.

    • danteardenz

      What ? ” Arab Spring ” was a CIA/MI6 /Mossad operation to take down Arab Nationalism.
      Take note; The most Fundamentalist Islamic and ” repressive ” ones like Saudi Arabia experience no uprisings .
      Funny how the Left/ Right Matrix swings round ,and round on these foreign policy nonsense .

      • SadDemInTex

        I don’t think that is quite correct….unemployment was devastating the countries’youth and people were having trouble getting food. That is what started the swell of protest…if it was hijacked later by outside forces (although I think that there are plenty of groups within each nation with agendas that do not benefit the majority of people without flogging the usual horse of CIA …as if we had that kind of pull anymore) that is not my point. My point is if the GOP continues down the road of making this a third world nation there will be protests and real uprisings and there are a fuck load of guns in this country.

  • btwbfdimho

    Here’s the cost of food stamps for taxpayers: out of $100 paid in taxes, food stamps take $2.99. https://www.nationalpriorities.org/interactive-data/taxday/2014/taxespaid/100/

  • Tosca

    There is a way to decrease poverty that won’t cost the taxpayer anything. Institute a liveable minimum wage. There are millions of Americans who are working full-time, yet cannot earn enough to support themselves and their families. They need government assistance to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. The taxpayers are picking up the slack between what people can earn and what they need to live, and thus subsidising the profits of business owners to the tune of billions.

    Money in the pockets of poor people is spent on essentials like food, clothing, rent etc. It goes straight back into the economy, making more money and improving lives in the process. Money in the pocket of rich people often stays there.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is the Wealth of Nations 101, but privileged assholes like ¡Heb! have never read that tome.

      • Callyson

        They do love to quote Adam Smith out of context, however.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It doesn’t stay there. It takes a long vacation in the Caribbean.

  • Callyson

    I know that giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity

    And I know that when I vote for someone to be the next President of this country, I’m looking for someone who has ideas about how to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity, as opposed to someone who wants to punt that responsibility away…

  • greyXstar

    And people continually eat this shit up. No snark: I will never understand why anyone votes against their own best interests.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Because, and it is simplistic but true, these people who vote that way think they are one of the good types who will get ahead somehow

      • Jeff Ackerman

        “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” Ronald Wright

      • greyXstar

        In spite of voting for things that will make it more difficult to get ahead. It’s like the characters in movies who think if they unleash some old god, they won’t also be destroyed, because they were the ones who unleashed it.

    • OneDemin EOr

      They all believe, as Bill Maher said, they can be rich someday.
      Kitty adds that it will happen much sooner without federal regulations and federal taxes, doncha know.

      • greyXstar

        You too can be rich with this one weird trick that billionaires don’t want you to know!

      • Toomush_Infer

        Powerball!…

    • alnnc

      Right, Sort of like people keep wondering why income for the poor and middle class has been stagnating, while at the same time applauding right wing efforts to destroy unions. Think there may be a connection between having a union represent you and having your income increase? Or do you think kicking out unions will make your employer suddenly decide you need a raise.

      • Duke

        Propaganda works

      • greyXstar

        Every time I ever see a workplace anti-union propaganda video, all I can think is, “Why even bother showing this? How does this make your company look good?”

    • JMP

      Remember that Craig T. Nelson angry ranted about how nobody helped him while he was on welfare and food stamps.

      • greyXstar

        One of my all-time favorites! Of course that’s not help! Those are things that I payed for with mah taxes, which are all unfair and unjust by the way!

  • Iam Reading

    Government doesn’t work and we will prove that by getting elected and breaking the shit out of government. Signed the GOP

    • mailman27

      Tried & true.

  • AnOuthouse

    The poorz can become heroin dealers in Maine. I hear there’s a big market there.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Bonus, they get to impregnate 95% of the white women on the way out too

      • dshwa

        Now that’s a job I can get behind.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Only if their names are D-Money, Smoothie and Shifty, though.

      • Duke

        Smiffy? Can I be Smiffy?

  • mailman27

    “Transformative ideas”= transforming poor people into corpses. (OT “transformative” shows up as “non-existent” on spell-check.)

  • Vegan and Tiara

    http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/01/jeb_bush_is_deeply_disliked_by_republican_voters.html
    One good thing you can say about Bush – “he brings people together.” Both Republicans and Democrats dislike him. He’s got a net negative unfavorable rating amongst both Republicans and Democrats.

    • Callyson

      I still don’t know if my “Jeb Bush 2016? Hell NO!” gif is from a progressive or a wingnut. Whatever–works for me…

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Apparently it works for either party. His net negative rating is minus 5 with Republicans, and minus 29 with everyone. Very dislikable!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      My hubby just asked me “Why don’t Republicans like him better?” And I said “Because Bush” because it is basically true.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        The article says that he’s the wrong man for the wrong election – too soft on immigration and too establishment for the rubes.

        • just_jim

          Almost right. He’s the wrong man for any election.

    • OneDemin EOr

      He’s not as widely hated as Ted Cruz, but the RWNJs seem obsessed with Teh Machoe these days. The Bushes have always had The Wimp Factor. Jebbers is weak and has the non-Rove handling his campaign.

      But, he’s a pro-business moderate who is fluent in Spanish with the Establishment money still on him (until Iowa). He’s not as scary as Herr Trump, not as divisive as Cruz. And Marco is too young, inexperienced and brown.

      If Trump and Cruz destroy each other, Jebbers may have a chance.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        The establishment GOP hates Cruz, but the base love’s him. His ratings are way higher than Bush’s with the base.

        I’m pretty sure Bush’s toast with the GOP, the title of the article is “Why Do Republicans Dislike Jeb Bush So Much?”His unfavorable ratings are so high that I think Mittens would have a better chance of winning the primary.

        • OneDemin EOr

          Personally, I really think the fix is in. Jebbers has held on at 6%. Why? It’s been doom for every other candidate. If a candidate starts polling below 10%, he/she falls off a cliff. Once demoted from the main stage, you’re toast.
          Except Jebbers.
          It’s uncanny how the rules were bent for the last debate and he was allowed in.
          For Cruz, he’s flavor-of-the-month. Winning Iowa means little historically. I think Trump may be in trouble, polling 10 points behind Cruz. He may at last be headed down.
          I refuse to believe the talk that this GOP has been shaken up, it’s anything goes, etc. I think after all this footsie and drama, it’s going to be an Establishment candidate.
          Of course, come Iowa, I could be full of it.
          It’s been fun to watch. Gotta pop more corn…

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Oh, I’d say it’s been the most exciting election of my lifetime, and I’m fairly old.
            I agree with you that there is still a small chance that an establishment candidate could win. I just don’t see Jeb! happening. His negatives are so high amongst voters, that I think he’d lose to Martin O’Malley, even if he managed to win the GOP’s primary. I have a hunch that Marco Rubio is going to be the eventual GOP nominee. I HOPE he’s not, because he SEEMS less repugnant than Cruz or Trump, and more likeable than Jeb!. IF Republicans were smart, they probably should have picked Kasich, if only because he seems less crazy than the rest of them, and someone like my mother would vote for him. She’s going to stay home if Trump or Cruz gets the nomination. She’s never missed a vote in her life to pull the lever for a Republican, but even she can’t stomach the idea of either of those two idiots being president.
            I actually think the GOP’s base is dumb enough to vote for Trump as their nominee. They’re all so in love with money, and success, and in their minds he’s a self made billionaire who will talk tough and get rid of all the Messicans and Muslims. He speaks directly to the idiots who make up the GOP, and enough dumb Independents to win the GOP primary. Derp. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Marco’s main problem is that he’s a dumbass.

        • Suse

          But his boots are cute.

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Moderate? Two words: Terry Schiavo.

        • OneDemin EOr

          Of course. He is what passes for moderate to today’s Republicans. Barry Goldwater would have been a Commanist to these loons.

  • OneDemin EOr

    The flaw in Jebber’s Master Plan is that the poors will receive more in some states than others. I doubt his Viagra-deprived “Right to Rise” will somehow compensate for that. The poors, if they are lucky may migrate to states friendlier to the poors. Will Right to Rise make an adjustment to compensate those states that are doing the right thing?
    Aww, hell no.
    This is why libertarianism does not work, and why we need a federal government. Despite what the Aynholes believe.

    • Callyson

      Viagra-deprived “Right to Rise”

      I am officially stealing that term and will never refer to Jeb!’s outfit by any other name.

      • OneDemin EOr

        Feel free, Cally.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      The poor can’t afford to migrate without putting themselves at the level of refugees who have lost everything, starting over as utter paupers. At that point, what incentive is there for a 40 or 50 or 60 year old? They may as well stay where they are.

      • OneDemin EOr

        Yes, and that’s exactly what they are banking on. If these folks had any mobility, they could have relocated to whatever jobs are available. Considering that it can cost upward of $2000 just to move around the block (first, last, deposits, truck,etc.), very few have that option.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    All right, I think it is time for the Libtards to play hard ball.
    If the Right to Die Horribly in Poverty states hate our fed dollars soooo very much, let us stop giving them any. We’ll of course take in all the refugees who flock out of those places and when the hurricanes and tornadoes, floods and droughts smack them, we will shrug and say “Dude, sorry, too busy taking care of ourselves, good luck”

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      why would anyone want to take them in? those states are up to their eyeballs in low-information voters. The LIVs would sneak across the borders disguised as Deserving Poor.

  • Boston MA for Jeb

    Jeb has been pitch-perfect since the year began and its paying off-he is now 2nd in NH.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      First place is for LOOOSERS. 2nd place, 2nd place!!!

      • Boston MA for Jeb

        Jeb has in his corner the mightiest Super PAC the US has ever seen. Better still he has electability on his side.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Does he? I disagree. Until he changes his last name, there is not much a chance a Bush has electability.
          Or respectability.
          Or accountability.
          Or good oral hygiene.

          Edit: Also, your avatar makes babbies cry. Why do you hate America and babbies?

          • Boston MA for Jeb

            Of the three people who have enough money to take on HRC Bush is more qualified than Trump, having held statewide elected office, and better able to appeal to a general election electorate than Cruz.

            Jeb is the guy.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Oh do not worry, I do not think Trump or Cruz are very good choices either.
            Actually, of all your guys running, currently, the only Republican I have a smidgeon of respect for is Ollie North.

          • Duke

            Tooo funnny.

          • JMP

            Well none of them have much at all appeal to a general election. You’re kind of forgetting the part where Jeb! is the young brother who just seven years ago finished having the worst, most disastrous Presidency in modern US history, who did everything he could to try and ruin this country – in fact you have to go all the way back to Andrew Johnson to find a worse President. That doesn’t really help the idiot’s chances much.

          • Ricky Gay

            your attachment to a lost cause amuses me.

          • Ricky Gay

            this comment of yours from elsewhere: “He is our brightest star in a generation.” Comedy gold!

          • Boston MA for Jeb

            It’s not funny. Jeb is a near-perfect candidate.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Personally, I really hope el Jeb! does get the nomination :)

            It would certainly end all the “This country doesn’t elect a socialist!” drivel and the libs can embrace their inner Bernie. Or Hills. Or Bernie and Hills with a sprinkling of Warren. I ain’t that picky really, point being we could put up a 2 day dead dog and still beat a Bush.

          • Ricky Gay

            ‘pitch perfect’ I believe you have said. A pitch so perfect, only dogs and idiots can hear it.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Perfect failure as a candidate, you mean.

          • Jonny On Maui

            For a sacrifice.

            Notice ‘human’ isn’t in there at all…

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I was reading an estimate of how much Jeb’s tax cuts are going to add to the national debt. I think it was an additional $8 trillion over the next ten years. So impressive!

          • Msgr_Moment

            And without even dragging us into any disastrous wars? Impressive.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            It was pretty impressive, especially since it came from a well respected think tank that leans VERY slightly to the left, so it was accurate. Their conclusion was that we’d need a very large cut in Social Security to offset the massive loss of revenue from tax cuts on the rich. That should play well with the GOP’s elderly base.

          • just_jim

            For the Democrats? Not true, Trump would do almost as poorly as Jeb.

          • Count Awesome

            He’s perfect at fucking up his own chances.

          • Zippy

            Go home Jeb, you’re drunk…

          • Peripatetic Poltroon

            Sure, but only because he has a penchant for setting himself on fire.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            ¡Heb! is dogshit.

          • Suse

            Stop pretending to be your own supporter, Jeb! and sign off. Columba wants you to polish her toenails.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Poor guy, I almost feel bad for him.

          • Suse

            Yeah, so do I. I wish he had the stones to tell his family to fuck off, clean out his bank accounts, and disappear.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’m fairly certain his own family is secretly voting for Cruz in the Texas primary.

          • Msgr_Moment

            You’re preaching to the wrong choir, Johnny.

          • Count Awesome

            And in the other corner is Trump who gives him verbal noogies aand wedgies every time they’re on a debate stage.

          • Zippy

            You’re half right, Jerb certainly has more qualifications than T-rump, seeing as how the Donald has zero. But Bush can’t appeal his way out of a wet paper bag. I’ve had mold stains in my laundry room that have more appeal than Jeb, more charisma, also too.

          • danteardenz

            Wrong -sorry .Trump had to deal with politicians /government at all levels in his career.
            He has shown success and leadership ,like him or not….Bush 3 shows nothing

          • Toomush_Infer

            Jeb – stop trolling – it’s pathetic…

        • just_jim

          And he still can’t get people to vote for him.

          Pathetic.

        • Jeff Ackerman

          Do you share your drugs? Asking for a friend..

        • Vienna Woods

          Just a reminder, in 2012 RMoney’s Super PAC raised $153,741,731.
          Obama’s raised $79,050,419.
          https://www.opensecrets.org/outsidespending/summ.php?cycle=2012&chrt=V&type=S

          So tell us again how having the biggest Super PAC means anything.

        • danteardenz

          And with all that ,and the vaunted name; ” Bush ” oh excuse me ” JEB! ” he is still struggling .
          Keep your sophomoric ramblings to a local Tea Party meeting ; turn off FOX ,and go nite ,nite.

    • Helena Handbag

      Is this a dick joke? Cuz I don’t get it.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Well, Bush is a dick, and a joke. So dick joke.

        • Helena Handbag

          Oh yeah!

    • JMP

      Hahahahahahahahaha.

    • Callyson

      Guess again:

      Gallup: Jeb Bush’s favorability numbers plummet

      Jeb Bush’s net favorability with Republicans has tanked since July, going down 28 points according to a new Gallup poll out Friday.

      The former Florida governor, who was once his party’s presumed front-runner, had a net favorability of +27 in July, but in the newest poll it is -1.

      • Boston MA for Jeb

        No, he really is 2nd in NH and climbing.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Climbing indicates an upward momentum, not stagnation or just no one else around rising faster. See. He is #2 not because of his own merrit, but because everyone else around him sucks that badly.

        • Callyson

          Speaking of polls, I may have to hope you are right that Jeb! has some magical momentum going:

          General Election: Bush vs. Clinton

          RCP Average:

          Clinton 45.7%
          Bush 43.3%

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            giggle, I love how EVERY Fox poll sticks their guy ahead of Hillz, despite how every other poll…doesn’t

        • danteardenz

          That’s rubbish .. You must be remnant of the Bush’s of Massachusetts.
          Tell your criminal crime family to give it up .

        • Msgr_Moment

          Different Bush

          • dshwa

            On a related note, I’ve had farts that poll better that JEB!

        • dshwa

          OOOOH, second place comes with a participation ribbon and everything, doesn’t it?

          Second in NH, bottom of the barrel in Iowa:

  • I kept doing laundry, but there were always more dirty clothes. So I solved the problem of dirty clothes by getting rid of them entirely. Not that this is a metaphor or anything.

  • Callyson

    Also too–about that poll that supposedly shows Jeb! in second place and climbing in New Hampshire, a little context:

    A new NH1 News poll in New Hampshire indicates Donald Trump remains well out in front of the rest of the Republican presidential field. But the survey stands out by suggesting that former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and Ohio Gov. John Kasich are battling for second…

    Among the overall sample, Trump grabs 31.7% support. Bush is at 11.9%, with Kasich at 11.8% and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie at 11%.

    In second place by 0.1%? Yeah, he’s got the momentum!!!

    • Ricky Gay

      he can’t even get MOMentum!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        ISWYDT

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Well demmit, Cally, it is no fair when you examine the actual data instead of spinning it so it looks good.
      Grunt. Stupid libtard with your facty facts.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Hey, he’s got 1/3 of The Donald’s “votes”! He’s building up!

      • Vienna Woods

        Remember, second is the new first!

  • danteardenz

    When a vicious Republican gets in political trouble they go for their tried and true ,” attack welfare/food stamps .
    Think of it ? You get votes in the USA by attacking the poorest people !
    But let’s not fool ourselves,Bill Clinton in an effort to be a ” New Democrat ” opened the Pandora’s box ,and the Republicans matched and raised him many fold since then.
    Welfare programs have been cut to the max ,but all is left is food stamps ,and housing.
    But they must go now to get votes from the ” good middle class ” who think they are ” rich ” too.
    This political football will never end until someone stands up loudly for the poor in this country .
    These programs pre Fundamentalists/Neoconservative GOP takeover where generally by partisan too.
    Once the poverty programs go,Social Security is next ,I assure you.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Social Security had the same fight as Obamacare, it went to the Supreme Court as did Unemployment, Medicare/Medicaid, Workman’s Comp, etc. All those and more are perpetually on the chopping block for conservatives. We will fight this to the end of our days, as will our children.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Beyond sad. They’ve wandered in the wilderness how long, and all they can come up with is block grants and constitutional conventions?

    How many years have they promised a replacement health care plan, and now Paul Ryan says they’ll have one in a month? Let me guess: vouchers. I could write it for them before bed tonight.

    This party has not one single new idea. They offer only their stale hate, fear, and greed.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Luckily for them that 50% of the population digs hate, fear, and greed. Their base is basically made up of morons who have no understanding of how the government, or the country, or basic economics work. I’ve been reading recently that their base feels like the rich have gotten enough tax breaks, yet EVERY one of their candidates has promised more tax cuts for the rich.

      • Beaumarchais?

        It’s closer to 35%, but gerrymandering and their tyranny of the empty states makes them think they have 50%. Hence their passion to disenfranchise the rest of us.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I don’t suppose the loss of unions and manufacturing jobs has anything to do with Americans being poor??? We should investigate what companies Jeb has his portfolio invested in and see how many of them have outsourced production to China. Back in the 80’s, some politicians got in trouble for investing in South Africa, but apparently today nobody cares about this issue.

  • Jeb! is circling the toilet drain, but no matter what, Jeb! will linger around like a sulfurous odor in the bathroom.

    • Boston MA for Jeb

      Again, he went into this as the presumptive nominee.

      • Ricky Gay

        and then started digging his own political grave

        • Count Awesome

          Jeb! is digging upwards I guess.

      • Count Awesome

        More like assumptive. He making an ass of himself and you.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Do you think the fact that Jeb’s promising the same disastrous tax cuts and wars that his dumb brother engaged in that’s making people hate his guts? Maybe it’s too soon for Jeb!, maybe people remember losing their jobs and houses, while the rich got richer, during W’s presidency.

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          He’s not enough of a sociopath to get anyone’s attention. Think of that. A Bush, not evil enough . . .

      • just_jim

        So you’re saying that he sucks so bad that even with that advantage he has sunk this far.

        Impressive fail!

        • Vienna Woods

          Damn. I really should read downthread before posting.

      • Msgr_Moment

        • Count Awesome

          But Jeb! could never have had class.

      • dshwa

        From nominee to punchline faster than Michele Bachman. That’s such a noteworthy accomplishment, you should be proud

      • Anarchy Pony

        And then took a hell of a nosedive.

      • Vienna Woods

        So, you’re saying that he sucks so bad that he screwed up a sure thing.

  • Raysa_Lite

    Here’s something.

    My husband and I have 3 jobs between us, and we get SNAP. No kids, I am college educated, he has some college, we both worked full time jobs with benefits until 09, when we lost our jobs within 6 months of each other.

    We paid our house off ,and we share 1 old late 90s camry. We have no cable, we have a smart phone that was a requirement of his second job. We didn’t have Internet until we were forced to get this phone.

    Unemployment in my SC county hasn’t been under 18% in over a decade, closer to 2. We have both always worked, planned on working full time and retiring early. Now, the CEOs at his primary job steal money out of his pay by underpaying him so that they can get another house, yacht, whatever, and then they steal money from other tax payers to pay for SNAP so that we can eat.

    We were eligible for SNAP for about 6 months before I applied. I lost almost 20 pounds. I was literally starving to death.

    So, what I want to know is when are the corporations going to be stopped from stealing from the people? Are we going to start drug testing corporate boards? They are the biggest takers, the biggest recipients of welfare.

    I’m not ashamed of being on SNAP. Why should I be? The corporations that steal from us aren’t ashamed. The people that think that the poors are lazy and stupid aren’t ashamed. I’m not lazy, and I am not stupid. Most of the poor that I know aren’t.

    This is my first post on wonkette, so let me say thanks to everyone that supports SNAP. Seriously. I know what it means to be hungry. I’m truly grateful.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      And I’m sure Nikki will apply for these grants just as quickly as she moved to expand Medicaid, amIright? This state could be worse, but Gawddamn, it could be so much better!

      • Raysa_Lite

        My husband said that he heard somewhere that Nikki is going to get VP.

        I can see her being the new Palin.

        • Pinkham’s Law

          Naw. No reason to bring her on. She IS multicultural, and all that, but they already *have* SC, and most southern states pretty well wrapped up. She doesn’t help pull undecided voters and swing states, so she is worthless in the general election

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Neither was Palin, and yet we still get to hear from her. They picked her because woman, and if Hillz gets the Dem nod, they will either pick another woman, or a blah fellow.

          • Pinkham’s Law

            I’ve heard her suggested as a possible VP, and I can see an argument for her. She’s ambitious, and I have no doubt she’d accept, if it was offered.

            And, she’d make a good candidate. She’s fairly attractive, but not overly so; she is a smart, non-white (but not blah) woman (all parts of that are important); quick-witted; scandal-free; good speaker & interviewee; ideologically clean.

            Actually, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like she WOULD be a good choice for them. Hmmmmmm.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Archer Daniels Midland laid off 1000 workers this year because of the oil slump. I’d love to guess what kind of pay cut their upper management got. I’m going to guess “zero.”
      If you could afford to move to NC you should do so. Your vote might actually make a difference. SC is so red that voting won’t change anything.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “Because of the oil slump, raises and bonuses are expected to be lower than last year.”

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Key word there being “expected.” After the media isn’t paying attention to them they’ll actually get larger bonuses than last year.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      I’m sorry to see that you fell on hard times, but, I’m afraid that this will be the new normal for working people. That was my life until I left home at 17, and years after. None of us should have to struggle just for food in this day and age. Those we elect to govern us are responsible for a lot of the problems facing working people. Until we make changes it will continue.

      • Raysa_Lite

        We didn’t fall on hard times. We were pushed.

        And you are absolutely right, that this is the new normal. That’s the thing about it. I KNOW it’s not going to get better. We do ok, but, god, it’s terrifying and exhausting living this way.

        And, since our state opted out of medicaid, and we are too poor for obamacare subsidy, I fully expect to lose my house at some point. One accident, and we will lose everything we worked our entire life to have.

        Uniquely American. Amirite?

      • danteardenz

        Imagine Jeff using food as a political weapon against the struggling !
        How low can you go?
        Nixon Ford increased the program. Dole /McGovern …Reagan wisely dared not touch them.
        But the GOP beginning with the maniacal Gingrich ,found a way to enhance they hate base of ex Dixecrats and religious nuts to blame the poor.

        ” Welfare Reform ” ,said that food stamps would not be an issue .. But they went after those ” evil singles “. Usually the worse off ,because they have nobody .
        But ” family people ” hate them the most of course !

        I reside in a very poor town. Food Stamps keep the people literally alive,and what’s left of the DC economy.

        I’m sure if moron Jeb didn’t have the rich family ,he and they criminal brother W ,would needing help in life .

        • Jeff Ackerman

          It’s easy to demonize the poor for being takers, nobody defends them. The idea that they are poor and hungry because of some personal shortcoming is easy for right wingers to believe. Right wingers have a hard time understanding statements that are too long for a bumper sticker so they can not or will not be educated about an issue such as being poor or hungry. I have traveled for work all of my life, and have run into poor and disenfranchised people everywhere I have been Washington DC was one of the worst places. My neighbors (94 and 96) that recently passed away were living on a pension from Weyerhaeuser of $300. a month, and social security of $325. per month. If it wasn’t for the local food bank etc. they would have starved. Unfortunately this is very typical throughout the US.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I’ve lost, not one, not two, but three jobs because management found it more profitable (for them) to sink the ship than try to right it. One of them was a 100+ -year-old Fortune 100 company IN THE BLACK that management broke apart and sold off to finance golden parachutes for themselves, leaving thousands unemployed and driving an entire town into virtual bankruptcy.

      So I feel for ya. I’d never vote for anyone who would so much as speak about eliminating aid to the unemployed. As my mother always points out, if you give the unemployed some financial help, what do they do? … THEY SPEND IT and stimulate the economy. Give the rich some help and what do they do with their cash? … quite often they move it offshore.

      • Raysa_Lite

        It’s more of how the rich get and stay rich. By taking from the bottom.

        Anyone that calls the wealthy “job creators” is an idiot. Jobs are a side effect of capitalism, not the objective. If they can grab money without having to pay people minimum wage to do it, they will do it. What you are talking about is just one example.

        • Florencejprice

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    • Gayer Than Thou

      If you’re that hungry, I’m sure this recipe blog can give you ideas for making cake.

  • Boston MA for Jeb

    “¡Heb! is dogshit.”

    Really? You do realize that Jeb was the presumptive nominee going into this, right? That this primary was more or less expected to be a coronation for Jeb?

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Can’t spell “presumptive” without the letters “T-R-U-M-P.” Suck it, Jeb!

      • Juan de Fuca

        Jeb’s highly touted Ground Game just showed up.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I’m pretty sure that this is actually Jeb! that we are talking to!

          • Ricky Gay

            exCITING!!! ~yawn~

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’m off to Netflix. I can’t even be bothered to stick around and poke Jeb! with my snark stick. Poor, dumb, Jeb.

          • Count Awesome

            It’s too early to fall asleep, am I right?

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Yes!

          • Jukesgrrl

            Right. Go, Steelers!

          • Callyson

            Has your heart stopped pounding yet? I know mine is still racing…

            …fuck it, a fugly win still counts, especially against the hated Bengals! GO STEELERS!

        • Count Awesome

          Does his ground game consist of driving his poll numbers underground?

          • Count Awesome

            Jeb!’s new strategy is to go after the Mole-man vote.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            It consists of standing still and getting sacked, over and over.

        • Msgr_Moment

          Jeb’s ground game is even worse than the Texans’ air game. Discuss.

          • Count Awesome

            Jeb! couldn’t catch the flu.

          • Count Awesome

            Jeb!’s ground game is just fumbling all the time.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Wow. 30-zip? I’ve been out most of the day and hadn’t checked Bleacher yet (must check Wonkette first). I have a few friends I must go and text taunt now. Cheers for the heads up.

    • Ricky Gay

      Is that you, Jeb!? You certainly have the cadence, the hopefulness in the face of fail, the persistent mediocrity of the man himself. In fact, your comments are so dull they likely won’t even be deleted by management. You are just that weak!

      • Biff52

        At first I thought Poe, but then I looked at his history. We got us a true believer!

        • Ricky Gay

          sadder still :(

          • Msgr_Moment

            Quite the opportunity. I mean, how many true believers could there actually be?

          • Ricky Gay

            I almost feel bad being so mean. Oh who am I kidding? heh

          • Count Awesome

            I presume that there are many, he WAS the presumptive nominee.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Poor Jeb!, he may need to apply some salve to that burn! ;-)

      • Msgr_Moment

        You misspelled “zzzzzzzzzzz”.

    • Count Awesome

      Jeb! is leading from behind apparently.

    • Biff52

      Yes he was, going in. Then he rather quickly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

    • Count Awesome

      Jeb! can’t even troll properly.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        He didn’t get a single upfist. He should call Mike Murphy and see if he’ll step in and upfist him.

        • Count Awesome

          Where are all those bestest wonderful people working on his campaign when he needs them?

          • Ricky Gay

            probably self-fisting

          • Count Awesome

            If that is anything like Jeb! putting on a hoodie, they are inept at that too.

          • UmmmWhat?

            That’s not as easy as it sounds

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Go home, Jeb! You’re drunk, and a loser, and nobody likes you (not even dumb Republicans like you).

    • Msgr_Moment

      Makes him all the more pathetic.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Put this in your hoodie and get lost in it, Jeb!:http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2016/01/jeb_bush_is_deeply_disliked_by_republican_voters.html
      Even your fellow Republicans hate you.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      What sort of completely out-of-touch morans ever expected that?
      Oh right — the GOP establishment.

    • Count Awesome

      Yes! Jeb! was ‘pegged’ by the entire GOP establishment so he could be their nominee.

      • Msgr_Moment

        And he kinda liked it.

        • Count Awesome

          He’s desperate to be “pegged” as the front runner again.

    • Callyson

      And the fact that he is doing so poorly despite this suggests that Jeb! is a weaker, not stronger, candidate.

      PS: are you ever going to address the numerous polls that I and others have cited that show that Jeb! is unpopular within his own party? How’s that “Jeb! Will Fix It!” working out?

    • Anarchy Pony

      Is this for real? Is this dude serious? You can’t be serious.
      Given his comment to upvote ratio, I’m gonna guess it is…

      • Juan de Fuca

        I just finished reading through the comments and realized this guy was probably replying to a comment by Villago way down in the thread but doesn’t know how to use the reply button on Disqus? Just throwin’ it out there. This is almost as awkward as watching Bush during the debates.

    • Callyson

      Also, from the NYT:

      For Republicans, Mounting Fears of Lasting Split

      The Republican Party is facing a historic split over its fundamental principles and identity, as its once powerful establishment grapples with an eruption of class tensions, ethnic resentments and mistrust among working-class conservatives who are demanding a presidential nominee who represents their interests…

      Never have so many voters been attracted to Republican candidates like Donald J. Trump and Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, who are challenging core party beliefs on the economy and national security and new goals like winning over Hispanics through immigration reform.

      Rank-and-file conservatives, after decades of deferring to party elites, are trying to stage what is effectively a people’s coup by selecting a standard-bearer who is not the preferred candidate of wealthy donors and elected officials…

      The issues animating grass-roots voters — opposition to immigration, worries about wages and discomfort with America’s fast-changing demographics — are diverging from and at times colliding with the Republican establishment’s interests in free trade, lower taxes, less regulation and openness to immigration.

      tl;dr: this coronation is taking place right when the monarchy is being overthrown. Heck of a job, Jeb!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        If the oligarchs decide that they’ve lost control of the GOP, the Dems are going to be sorely tempted to take some of those sweet PAC billions. And then they’ll be fucked, too.

    • A Jeb! troll?

      Awww, that is so cute! Can we keep him?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        He’s a sorta boring Jeb troll, and he does not understand how Discus works, or that Wonkette does not allow comments.
        But since he is the ONLY Jeb troll I have ever seen, maybe he deserves some endangered species action?

        • dshwa

          Well he’s here because all we’ll do is point and laugh at him. Redstate would beat him up, take his lunch money, give him a swirlie, and stuff him in a locker. Then they’d start getting nasty.

          • Zippy

            True, all in all we’re a lot nicer than anywhere else he could go, except the Jeb for president website. Of course then he’d just be talking to himself…

    • Left Coast Tom

      You realize “JEB” is an acronym and therefore belongs in all-caps, right?

      You also realize it’s a bad sign for the “presumptive nominee” to be ankle-biting at someone as far back as Rubio?

      • Count Awesome

        JEB! is like a chihuahua barking and nipping at the heels of a Great Dane.

    • Takoma DC

      Jeb! The “smart” Bush!

  • AntiBolter

    The unemployed don’t wanna work! The poor are poor cause they wanna be poor. Tax is theft. Trickle down. Blah, blah, blah. Movement conservatism has not evolved in decades and is less relevant now than at any time in it’s sorry history.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Okay, mandatory contraception and ‘bortions for the poor. Why don’t they try that?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Make it “forced birthing” and sterilization, and they’ll be on board.

      • AntiBolter

        ‘bortions for the poors? Ya frickin commie heathen. Why do you hate America?

    • Jukesgrrl

      Of COURSE they don’t wanna work. All that free stuff they’re getting for sitting around on their keisters, stoned outta their minds, having more babbies just to get those sweet, sweet benefits.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Nobody wants to work, it’s the human condition.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          I want to work. No serious, I hate not working, it drives me batty.

          • Anarchy Pony

            ALIEEEEEENNNN!!!!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            READ THE THINGY. It says quite clearly that I am NOT an Alien TYVM

          • Takoma DC

            Try painting, photography, bread baking, tile murals, pottery, archery, sketching, metal work, sculpting, archery, glass blowing, gardening, cookie & cake baking, short-story writing, singing/voice work, poetry workshop, screenwriting workshop, yoga, improvisation workshop, travel, travelling, trekking, swimming, hiking, Rolfing, smoke lodge purification, Polynesian dance, write a novel, dance, ballroom dancing, tap dancing, interpretive dance, Balinese dance, ukelele lessons, piano, guitar, puppeteering, Jungian therapy, kayaking, canoeing, canoodling, swimming, love-making, making-love, wine, love-making, making-love, wine, love-making, making-love, swimming, siesta, tapas, tapas, tapas, wine, canoodling………

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Heh I do…some lot of those. I sculpt (wood, clay and stone) embroider and quilt (by hand, no machine though I do own a nice one. Just never bother with it), write, draw and doodle with graphic art (but not paint because whatever) garden to excess (I live on an acre, and I have more garden than lawn, take that boring grass), bird/bat/butterfly, bike, hike, canoe, fish and camp, read like a fiend, volunteer at the local shelter and when I have the wood for it, make stuff like tree houses and shelving units and toy boxes and whatever else I can make because power tools are the fucking awesome and you can take my laser guided circular saw when you can pry it from my cold, stubbed hands. I do not do any of these things well but that does not stop me very much because jebus, being still isn’t natural.
            I also have a job, two sons, a husband and a cat ^.^

            Someday I will have a little stone house in the woods, preferably in an east coast mountain range, with gardens girded round and if I am lucky, a little brook running through a corner.

          • Toomush_Infer

            If you’re gonna build that little stone house – start yesterday…

        • Jonny On Maui

          If you’re not enjoying what you do for most of the day, life can suck. I’ve had jobs I hated, just so I could get the job I wanted. I just finished a 34 year career that I absolutely loved, but was driving me crazier and the stress was not good. I now spend my time beating back the jungle, growing my own food and playing on the interweb.

          I’m exactly where I want to be doing exactly what I want. Was it always this way? Hell no I swallowed foul tasting pride and ate a lot of shit, but it was hella worth it to be here now.

          All I can say is if you’re not doing what you want to do, set every one of your actions so you get to the place you want to be.

    • Takoma DC

      Stop trickling on my face and saying it’s monies!

      • H0mer0

        I thought that was a “moneyshot”

        • Takoma DC

          It don’t smell like money.

  • azeyote

    hey just eliminate the poor altogether, by whatever creative way we want – those minimum wage jobs will be sought after soon enough – there’s more people on their way down –

  • Pinkham’s Law

    aw, fuck! I missed this one being posted. Way late to the party.

    • Ricky Gay

      the Jeb! donkey is still here, if you want to pin a tail on him

    • Msgr_Moment

      Honor system. Give it your best shot.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty . . .teabagger ideas like “I we just let ’em starve, they’ll move to another state.”

    • Takoma DC

      State of non-responsive.

  • Sheesko

    Repeat after me: GENOCIDE. Great idea. It’s worked so well elsewhere.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Hey, the Bushes tried housing the poors in the fabulous Astrodome and they didn’t appreciate it, so …

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Not quite right. They just didn’t make any effort to get them OUT of the Astrodome.

        Fair is fair. They fucked up enough, we don’t need to assign anybody else’s fuckups to them.

    • Takoma DC

      Creates many memorials which create many shovel ready jobs.

      • Hutch

        I never quite got that “shovel ready job” thing. What are we suddenly all ditch diggers again?!?

        • Toomush_Infer

          Bend down, turn around, pick a bale of shovel…

  • Jukesgrrl

    I can just imagine who Governor Doug Ducey thinks has a “right to rise” in my state of Arizona. He’s given us a lot of clues.

    • Count Awesome

      Would one of them be in Oregon right now?

      • Jukesgrrl

        I think MORE than one.

        • Count Awesome

          Send more then. It’s a “honeypot scenario” disguised as a wingnut convention.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Get these fucking parasites out of our state!!!

        • Count Awesome

          The Federalis may be making a list of if all the people aiding and abetting this crime. Fuck jail time for the aidiers and abettors: fine the shit out of them.

          • Mickey Donovan

            Why do I hear Eric Clapton singing “I shot the sheriff, (but I did not shoot the deputy)?

  • Jukesgrrl

    Any possibility Jeb! is sticking around hoping for a veep nod from one of the crazier candidates? My theory is that’s why Christie is sticking it out. He thinks he can offer to bring in votes from the Northeast if anyone other than T-Rump gets the nomination. Remember, Poppy Bush was a V.P. way back when. At least it would be a little prize to offer Mommy Dearest to prove to her he’s not the total loser she thinks he is.

    • Count Awesome

      I doubt it. In order to get that tin ring, Jeb! Would need to find said hole.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Is Florida in doubt? If yes, would Jeb help bring it in? If no: fuck Jeb.

        • Count Awesome

          Jeb! can’t even bring in the mail from the mail box, so….

    • H0mer0

      Ha! you said Christie is sticking it out! How would we know?

      • Major_Major_Major

        One less dimple?

  • Count Awesome

    In other news, Jeb! stated his opposition to women shaving their pubic hair because America needs bush.

    • Hutch

      So seventies, man. And no, Dave is not here.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Here’s some Dickens for ya:

    When a man felt, on his own back and in his own belly, that poor he was, that man (Mr Plornish gave it as his decided belief) know’d well that he was poor somehow or another, and you couldn’t talk it out of him, no more than you could talk Beef into him. Then you see, some people as was better off said, and a good many such people lived pretty close up to the mark themselves if not beyond it so he’d heerd, that they was ‘improvident’ (that was the favourite word) down the Yard. For instance, if they see a man with his wife and children going to Hampton Court in a Wan, perhaps once in a year, they says, ‘Hallo! I thought you was poor, my improvident friend!’

  • Msgr_Moment

    OT: I want to have Martavis Bryant’s babby.

    • Juan de Fuca
    • Callyson

      1. OH YEAH! (I could have done without the heart-attack-on-a-plate ending, but a fugly win is a win nevertheless!)

      2. Fuck Vontaze Burfict with a chainsaw of losses.

      3. See #1.

      • Msgr_Moment

        See also #2. And Pacman is so 80s.

  • sundaytrucker

    Finally, a candidate willing to stand up to the powerless. That’s not an exclamation point after Jeb!’s name, it’s the downward fist of justice. Take that poors!

  • Takoma DC

    Eh hmmm……

    It was the worst of times. It was the worsterer of times.

    • Count Awesome

      If the monkeys are not at their typewriters, it’s only going to get “blusterer”

      • Takoma DC

        PETA libellious!

        • Count Awesome

          I love Foie Gras so fuck PETA telling me anything. My body is a temple: I will defile it as u see fit.

          • Hutch

            If it makes you feel any better, Count, sir, you CAN get cruelty free foie gras. Geese and ducks naturally gorge on corn (if it’s available) in the fall before winter. My Belgian grandfather used to count on it and “cull” a few geese shortly thereafter. Yum.

      • Doug Langley
    • Msgr_Moment

      A Sale of Two Titties Seventeen Boobs

    • Incoming Ham

      Vulgarians At The Gates.

      • Hutch

        “Barbarians at the Gates” is among my favorite movies. Quotes like: [regarding a new cigarette] “Smells like a fart and tastes like shit”, and [regarding what some bankers are saying] “Bullshit?!? I speak bullshit and I don’t know what they’re saying.”

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Larry Gelbart! Now he could write brilliant dialogue.

          • Hutch

            You, sir, are a true connoisseur of fine literature!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      What the dickens are you getting at?

    • H0mer0

      I thought it was pronounced like “Wooster” of times

      • Takoma DC

        That’s American English.

  • Paperless Tiger

    “Right to Rise” sounds like a Viagra commercial.

    • dshwa

      If the bad effects of your economic plan lasts more that 4 decades, seek professional help.

      • Zippy

        Or call mommy and daddy to bail you out

        • Count Awesome

          If one suffers from affluenza, mommy will be extradited first. See your lawyer for a detailed list of side effects.

          • H0mer0

            my son misread his name as “Cooch” and started laughing about the affluenza teen with a vagina euphemism for a surname.

        • dshwa

          Or get Alzheimer’s and forget you came up with it.

    • SK

      ..or yeast gone bad

      • Count Awesome

        Bread libel

  • Count Awesome

    Jeb! will fix all of this by using a wrench when a hammer would suffice.

    • Zippy

      In all fairness, Carson is hogging the hammer and won’t let the other candidates near it

      • Count Awesome

        Republicans must have missed that day in kindergarten about sharing.

        • Zippy

          Too busy eating paste

          • Count Awesome

            Paste libelz!
            Glue is where it’s at.

          • kaw143

            Can’t talk. Huffing this DAP adhesive.

          • Count Awesome

            “The best part about paste is that it’s very white!” said every Republican ever.

          • Takoma DC

            And made from horses. Like their mommies.

        • Takoma DC

          And they got “finger painting” completely wrong.

          • Count Awesome

            So did Josh Duggar.

  • Count Awesome

    Jebediah Bush’s plan is to embiggen states rights for purely cromulent reasons.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I like the cut of your jib, young man.

      • Count Awesome

        Thank you.

      • kaw143

        Silver tongued, alright.

        • Count Awesome

          Is that an adjective or a verb!

          • kaw143

            Well, if I have to tell you . . .

          • Count Awesome

            OK. I’ll use my imagination. Sounds [redacted].

            Doktor Zoom is the kindest and most wonderful person I have ever met

          • Msgr_Moment

            AOT,K.

          • kaw143

            Also, too, a preposition: you never want to end with it.

          • Takoma DC

            Gerund.

          • Count Awesome

            I’d love make nouns into verbs all day.

          • bobbert

            Gesundheit.

  • Takoma DC
    • Hutch

      Wow. I thought “Song of the South” was racist. Wow. How did you even find this?!?

      • Takoma DC

        I’m pleased my film history education wasn’t a waste.

        • Fartknocker

          Rarely do I use this word: Repugnant. I guess I am a liberal pussy. Wow.

          • Takoma DC

            Pussy Power Libel!

          • lroom

            Pussy Power is the name of my new all girl heavy metal band.

          • Toomush_Infer

            Don’t go to Russia…

          • Takoma DC

            You’re A riot.

        • Hutch

          As Whoopie said about the Bug Bunny DVD Collection I have (all six volumes), if we don’t show these, we hide the racism that genuinely existed. I mean, black folks had to endure this every single goddamn day — lest we forget.

          • Takoma DC

            I have the set too. Love Bugs but he was drawn and voiced in the image of his creators. So he’s flawed as they were. A lot of racist images of Native Americans, Asians & Arabs. Stereotypes of women and Germans.

            Funny thing is these cartoons made me more compassionate. I never believed Bugs was being mean-spirited, and still don’t. For some reason I was and still am compelled to understand cultures different than mine. I always enjoyed travelling as a way to learn and better understand others.

            What really annoyed me about the racist Bugs Bunny cartoons, even as a kid, was the over-the-top patriotism. It made me question my country, authority, and how gov’t manipulate through symbols, rhetoric, pop culture and subversive propaganda.

            As bad as Warner Bros.Cartoons could be and are, Walter Lantz’s Lazy Town USA is the most shocking imo.

            Hollywood and the imagemakers not only created crafted and perpetuated these racist stereotypes but they crushed the hopes and dreams of many many too many gifted beautiful artists and talented people solely because of their skin color, political beliefs, sexual orientation, eye shape, accent, etc….

            I feel so sad knowing that human beings denied other human beings the ability to reach their full potential. Sadder still is that human beings are still limiting opportunities to black & brown people, Asians, Arabs, physically challenged people, LGBT individuals, and women.

          • Hutch

            *Huge bow* What great insights. Thank you SO much for sharing your outstanding thoughts on this. Heck, you could write a super article on this topic!

            I think Bugs got caught in the WWII over-the-top patriotism thing. Not his fault. But he made me question authority et al., too, and I love him for that.

          • sw19womble

            The thing I remember about Bugs Bunny is he would wear a dress, and it was funny (to me then). I didn’t see it as mean-spirited or misogynistic or transphobic. I will probably have to go revisit some clips now and be proven wrong, but yes, Bugs seemed like a laidback, compassionate character.

          • Hutch

            My son said, as a four-year old when we were fishing, “Why don’t you just use a lure that looks like a girl fish?” Ah, the impact of Bugs Bunny cartoons.

          • H0mer0

            Some of us laughed when Bill Murray used the C4 gopher

          • Takoma DC

            He did a great Carmen Miranda.

            I don’t think Bugs was misogynist. But I do believe Warner Bros Studios sexist…..possibly misogynistic.

            The top female actors, at this time, Bette Davis and Olivia DeHavilland, both sued Warner Bros., for a variety of reasons. Davis lost part of the suit. I believe DeHavilland won completely. It was basically Davis and DeHavilland that would injure the almighty patriarchal studio system.

            Although it would take another 30 years for that system to collapse, collapse it did but somehow strangely minorities were never able to obtain power. Not even by 2015. Just check out the names of studio heads, producers, agents, cinematographers, scriptwriters, top actors and Oscar winners and the make up of The Academy. It’s still white male dominated.

            Hollywood is not really that progressive.

          • Takoma DC

            Wow. Thank you.

            I don’t know how to adequately explain my theory that systematic racism, prejudice, violence against women and LGBT community, have been 100% completely acceptable behavior ethics and mores in Hollywood and so Hollywood, from its inception, has manufactured and cultivated a racist prejudicial violent system of image-making which is just as powerful, perhaps more so, than government policies and law-making.

            If positive beautiful images of black and brown people were regularly shown – civil rights would have happened in the 30’s, certainly by the 40’s.

            When people gush about the movie, To Kill A Mockingbird. All I tend to think about is how amazing Brock Peters is and how Hollywood never gave him much of an opportunity after such a strong and moving performance.

            So the message of the movie kinda’ feels false to me. Then when reviewing black and brown people who’ve won Oscars, it’s just so pathetic.

            Television’s record is even worse.

            We’re still being brainwashed by old white men. Shonda Rimes isn’t enough. And imo her shows aren’t that compelling. Great actors in projects for which they’re over-qualified.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Have you ever seen Al Jolson in the last scene of “Wonder Bar?” It is hard to believe that this was ever marginally acceptable, let alone mainstream.

        • Hutch

          No, but I’ll look for it. “Judge Priest” with Stepin’ Fetchit’ and Will Rogers is pretty shocking. My grandfather was from Arkansas and hugely racist, so I always sort of knew that side of the equation, but this Walter Lang cartoon and “Judge Priest” really shocked me.

        • Takoma DC

          This? https://youtu.be/1jIVuuNcg3w

          Jolson did tons of shit like this. That was his thing, “black face.”

          • Hutch

            FFS.

          • Takoma DC

            The Beats and Hippies should’ve inherited the Earth. Then the world would’ve been a much better place. Pity.

          • Toomush_Infer

            We did, and it still didn’t help…

          • Takoma DC

            Really? For a few days?

          • Toomush_Infer

            Nope, we inherited all of it, for always….the title just seems to be misplaced….

          • Takoma DC

            I wish I saw, or felt that inheritance. I feel it a little when I travel through EU. Especially parts of southern Europe. I don’t feel it here in the States. Although I love San Francisco – didn’t see, smell, hear, or feel it there either.

          • H0mer0

            did you remember to wear flowers in your hair?

          • Toomush_Infer

            Have the flowers still….the hair, not so much…

          • Toomush_Infer

            Oh, Mammy!….

      • Takoma DC

        It was shown in 1 of my film history classes.Walter Lantz was interviewed in his later years and was defensive about Lazy Town USA. He insisted it wasn’t racist and that he and his animators, writers, musicians, his studio weren’t racist.

        • Hutch

          Did you go to Evergreen, Tak? I got my master’s degree there. One thing I will say, they try to be genuinely anti-racist.

          • Takoma DC

            Unfortunately no. East Coast state school. :-( Did you go for film?

          • Hutch

            High school film classes only. English/Classic undergrad though (east coast school, too), which is why I adore Bugs Bunny!

          • SisterArtemis

            Another greener? twice in one day this comes up – having I been missing my fellow geoducks amongst the wonketteers all this time?

          • Takoma DC

            It looks like a beautiful campus. Sounds like an excellent college. Unique.

          • Amalga

            Me too!

    • sw19womble

      Wow, Donald Trump is going all in with his new ad, then?

    • Toomush_Infer

      Scrub, me, Momma,….

  • Hutch

    O/T: So, did you all win Powerball?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      If I won powerball (and no one did so there is a chance!!!!)
      I think I would give a million or ten to Yr Wonkette, and a few more to PP, bank a little, buy my little stone cottage, and dole the rest out to various shelters and as scholarships to Liberal Universities for Liberal Studies. Because why the hell not.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        I would hoard it all and make you people do my bidding. BWA HA HA HA HA HA!

        Upps, sorry, Republican moment.

      • jmk

        There have been numerous squabbles at the mk household over my plans for my Powerball winnings. The offspring is concerned that splitting it with my beloved, paying off the mortgages and current bills of my siblings and parents, and donating a bunch o’cash to PP, the ACLU, shelters for different kinds of organisms, and other worthy causes, and then retiring to Portugal with my beloved will unfairly cut into his revenue stream when he takes up his position as a jet-setting layabout, and he objects to my plan to follow the Buffett doctrine by which I will give him enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.

        Hard cheese.

    • cleos_mom

      Nope. Another four days for people who don’t buy tickets to brag about it.

    • Beaumarchais?

      I won two dollars!

  • Noxious1

    Changing the War On Poverty into the War On Poors.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Poverty is a concept, and therefore hard for Rethugs to grasp. The Poor they can point at.

      • H0mer0

        Sort of like the war on drugs has been a war on addicts (mostly brown,) until Whitey got hooked on the hillbilly heroin, couldn’t afford it so then started booting the real heroin.

  • Hutch

    The New Bush Doctrine: “The one great principle of the English law is, to make business for itself. Viewed by this light it becomes a coherent scheme, and not the monstrous maze the laity are apt to think it. Let them but once clearly perceive that its grand principle is to make business for itself at their expense, and surely they will cease to grumble.”– “Bleak House,” Charles Dickens.

    As a lay person (grumble, grumble), I’ma thinkin’ it’s a monstrous maze. Thanks for nada, JEB!

  • Fartknocker

    As a native Texan and born in Austin, I am in awe at the level of money and GOP love directed towards Jeb! because he believes a viable POTUS candidate. It’s sad but we’re happy he is sad since his brother, his dad and his mother are shit stains. The Fartknockers are excited about Ted Cruz as President with Rinse Prius as VP. Ted can never be the flaming, ass-gaping anal pustule that Dick Cheney is, but we are excited that if he is elected, this nation may embrace french fries covered in gravy with cheese curds as a new food. The Fartknockers are not fans of cheese curds, but if it brings the nation together, we will make the sacrifice and cover our gravy-laden fries with Kraft Sharp Cheddar and jalapenos, because we’re fuckin patriots.

    And we forgot to purchase Powerball tickets, so we’re just sitting around, listening to hippy music, and drinking alcohol. CCR, Alabama Shakes and Asleep at the Wheel rocks.

    • Damian L

      Brothers,are shit stains,multiple.

      • Brendan_M

        Marvin seems okay. Neil is terrible, but at least he’s stayed out of office.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Asleep at the Wheel?

      You are from Austin!

      • Eykis

        I graduated from St. Edward’s in Austin in 1976, Asleep At The Wheel was popular then~still are~

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          I went to UT for a couple years. Nice city.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Jeezuus weeps.

    • danteardenz

      They are more into Yahweh ,with Christ as a front .

      • H0mer0

        or Mammon, with Christ as a front.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Where do they come up with these lack of ideas?…..

    • Takoma DC

      They’re impacted in the fop arsenal.

    • Wombat

      The Gilded Age and Charles Dickens, mostly.

      • danteardenz

        It’s Finance Capital/Puritanism . What is sickening is how they couch the viciousness as , ” compassion “. Neoconservative hero ,Churchill loved to say,” its cruel to be kind “.

        • Boscoe

          “If we help you, you’ll just be dependent on our help. But if you suffer and die, THEN you’ll have learned a valuable lesson about self reliance! You’re welcome!”

      • jmk

        Enthusiastic admirers of the age chronicled by Jakob Riis.

      • theCryptofishist

        With possible misreadings of Twain and Veblen.

  • Lemmy Caution

    Nothing puts lead in the old pencil like the thought of driving poors into the streets to die like dogs. Jeb may only know one tune, but it’s a hell of a catchy one.

  • Nicholas Rostov

    “Right to Rise’? As in, If You Suck It He Will Cum?

    • Msgr_Moment

      I like to think of it as “Rises to the Right”.

      • Boscoe

        More like “Stepping on the corpses of the poor gives me a boner”.

  • Dolmance

    Dear God, where do they come from?

  • Matt Jones

    ““We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty,””

    Oddly, this argument never seems to work on Republicans in regards to any of the “wars” they like: terror, drugs, undocumented immigration…

    • H0mer0

      the poor need a better lobbying group, like the recipients of corporate welfare such as “the Iraq,” agribusiness and the fossil fuel industry.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Never mind.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Surprised he didn’t mention drug testing everybody.

    • jmk

      That’s Step 2.

    • socalledbob

      I take 4 drugs. All prescribed. Can I be tested for those as well as for the illegal ones. I mean if they are so concerned about my performance on the job being affected by the illegal drugs would not the legal ones also affect performance and possibly impact profitability. Need my cholesterol checked too.

  • BeliTsari

    GOP presidential platform committee dialogue: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1zxGZYqmo4M

    • J Goodwood

      Poifect!! Nihilistic dead-enders…

  • Rickyphoo

    Raise your hands if you think that those “Block Grants” will more likely go to fund a sportsball stadium for some “poor” billionaire team owner then to assist low income families.

    • therblig

      they’ll go to consulting fees to assess the feasibility of building those stadia with “subsidized seating” and “job preferences” for the “underprivileged”.

      • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

        “Community development” to “draw in more commerce” via “tourists.”

    • Toomush_Infer

      Three hands up!…

    • Boscoe

      …or to drug testing companies to make sure the poors are pure enough to deserve help and to make sure only politicians can get their hands on our tax dollars while also enjoying being drug addicts.

  • Mavenmaven

    There was a pretty damning story about Jeb as governor in the recent New Yorker, apparently he lied and egregiously violated federal agreements due to money from the sugar industry. Pathetic AND a bad person at the core.

    • Suse

      Ooh – will have to read that. In bed with Big Sugar!

      • Major_Major_Major

        While I am from the ‘duh and was there during many of the Heb years, I will say that all FL gubners have enjoyed the sugar companies teats. In this case, and only because we would be remiss not to speculate, I think Big Sugar is his pet name for Allen West, and by “in bed” , he was physically in bed with him.

  • Everhope

    As usual, the wealthy Billo calls the taxes of the top incomes “punishing.” He doesn’t want his dim bulb audience to know that way back in the 50s when the gap between the wealthy and the workers was much smaller, more fair and funded such things as schools, hospitals…Back in those Halcyon Years, the wealthy had “marginal tax rates” that heavily taxed income above certain x amount of dollars. No, billo pushes the notion that jobs can’t be created if the wealthy are taxed as they are now. This despite the economy continuing to create jobs & more people entering the market for the 1st time and those who are finally employed again. Billo is a shill for the wealthy class that he portrays as put upon by taxation. He sees no moral imperative that those with so much need to give so much. He is, as usual, an amoral slug.

    • Toomush_Infer

      I think this is unreasonable – we have no idea about slugs’ moral universe…

  • labman57

    Can’t afford to pay the rent and also feed your kids?
    It sucks to be you!

    • Ricky Gay

      I think “It sucks to be you!” should just be a republican slogan.

    • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

      Your right to rise is dependent on the competence and care of your governor so you’ll be just fine! Except your governor may or may not give a shit!

    • Boscoe

      Jeb should hand out bootstraps with his campaign logo on ’em…

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Fuck the war on poverty. It’s the war on Christmas that we should focus all of our attention on.

  • Kevin Morin

    How about a Right to Rise Up and Gut the *deleted* *deleted* While *deleted* the *deleted* *deleted* Taking Care To Not Step in the Puddles of *deleted* That May Consequently Form grant for motivated individuals and/or groups. It could come in the shape of money or many sharp *deleted*.

  • J Goodwood

    Yeah, I remember when ol’ St. Ronnie (aka The Gimper) did that with US mental health care. How’d that work out?? Well, 10 times more mentally ill Americans in prison than in hospitals… Is there any question where the ‘poors’ wind up under an ‘initiative’ like this??

    • Boscoe

      Generating revenue for Jeb’s buddies’ for-profit prison ventures? That makes being incarcerated just like having a job, right?

      • J Goodwood

        Well, I suppose it is!

  • Takoma DC

    “We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty….”

    And Jeb has spent 33 million just on tv ads in IA and NH (as of 1/9/2016) and is still polling in 5th place or worse so what’s his point?

  • The Rino HillBilly :) http://dearmrtrump.weebly.com/

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Here’s a lil story bout a man name Trump

      His goosesteppin fans kept those brown folk good and stomped

      Then one day Trump was shootin off his mouth

      When his hair rat lept off his head and kicked him squa in the nuts

      What was left of them, that is. Shriveled prunes. Raisenettes.

      • good job…keep at it…you should, however let some of that hate die off. Doesn’t suit you well.

  • MrBlobfish

    Even if he proposed to cut all spending except for the military and Israel, he’d still be losing to Trump.

  • toomanyrappers

    So, we fight poverty by punching poor people, right? ;)

  • Relativicus

    ““I know that giving states more flexibility will open the door for transformative ideas to eliminate poverty and increase opportunity.”

    Primarily…

  • chascates

    That was a great commentary on a horrific plan! Do your fellow Idahoans realize how dangerous you are?

  • if you’ll excuse me, i have some punk rock to attend.

  • vitaminC

    ““We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty,” he wrote…”

    So by his own logic, he’s against the War on (some people who do) Drugs, right? RIGHT?!

  • Ryan Denniston

    “We have spent trillions of dollars on the ‘War on Poverty,’ but there are now still more than 46 million Americans living in poverty,”

    He’s intentionally conflating stocks and flows. There are presently 46 million living in poverty, but rather than talk about how much we help the poor, he talks about how much we’ve spent helping the hundreds of millions we’ve helped since the 60s, without mentioning all of those who were helped over time. It’s intentionally misleading and yet another reason why you can’t trust a Republican.

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  • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

    Here’s what gets me about state’s rights: it means that some Americans are (to borrow a phrase) more equal than others. If we’re Americans, we should have comparable rights/services no matter where we live. My ability to feed my family should not be reliant on what side of the river I live on. My ability to access healthcare should not be dependent on whether or not the idiots in my state elected Bobby Jindal. And recent history has proven that, rather than take care of their people, some states will just crap on their citizens. So the entire premise of state’s rights is blown because some governors (coughTerryBrandstadcough) do not give a fuck about their people.

    So fuck this idea hard.

    • Steven Posey

      It’s complete bullshit that forces the residents of states run by GOP cave people to miss out because they have the misfortune of being stuck in a state that never quite made it out of the dark ages.

      Bad enough that I live in a state whose motto in regards to the efficiency of the local government might as well be “At least we’re not Arkansas!”, one with no LGBT anti-discrimination laws, and one where a proposed medical marijuana program (one that would only allow terminally ill people to get non-psychoactive tinctures) never passed, but I get to realize daily that people that had the luck to be born in real states get it waaaaay better.

      Fuck you, Dixie.

      • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

        All of this. Yes.

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