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To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You people would just replace it with Comic Sans.

It’s a brand new year, and a brand new iteration of the same old bunch of angerbears in the Wonkette Comments. Our featured comments are a little out of the ordinary this week, in that the howls of rightwing derision actually had some basis in reality. It turns out that after we published our Tuesday story on arson attacks against mosques in Texas and California, as well as the beating of a 69-year-old Sikh man in California, an arrest was made in the Texas arson: Gary Nathaniel Moore, a member of the storefront mosque burned in Houston, was arrested and charged in the Christmas Day crime.

Needless to say, this excited much schadenfreude in the Wingnuttosphere, which predicted that the mainstream media would never correct the record (as the wingnut blogs linked to stories at NBC and the Houston Chronicle about Moore’s arrest). Our own story was singled out by Newsbusters as “the winner for obnoxious left-wing blogging,” which was nice. We like winning. We were also gratified that they boldfaced our line about the arson fitting the seasonal sentiment in “Isaiah 9:6, “For unto us a child is born, unto us arson is given,” because we were pretty pleased with that one. We’ve updated the piece to indicate that a member of the mosque was arrested in connection with the Houston fire.

Needless to say, the Newsbusters piece inspired a few members of the Online Wingnut Flying Monkey Brigade to stop by and tell us that we were hateful idiots for even suggesting that the mosque attack could have been an anti-Muslim crime.

“Aldridkg” enjoyed pointing out that we were wrong, wrong, wrong: “Except that the mosque was burned down by another Muslim who attended that mosque. Anyway we can get you to stop writing nonsense?”

Two other commenters simply posted links to the NBC story, while another posted a link and added “sorry to disappoint you,, I know you wanted it to be a white conservative Christian.”

And one “Trader 67” had a satisfying laugh over how leftists are always wrong: “LOL, the loons here on the left proved wrong again. The author being the biggest one of all. What a shocker!”

Conspicuously absent from both the Newsbusters article and the comments was any mention of the other two attacks covered in the article: obviously, the fact that one arson was an inside job proves liberals are the real haters. (Also, please ignore all the comments on the Newsbusters article saying “Burn them all!” and the comments insisting that the Houston mosque — like all mosques — is nothing but a cover for planning terrorist attacks). We’re looking forward to any evidence that Mr. Moore also firebombed the California mosque and beat up an old Sikh who he thought looked like a fellow Muslim. Those false-flaggers are awfully clever.

As Kaili said in our 2015 Yelling At the Media roundup, “We try to never be wrong, and when we are, we apologize immediately.” And so we apologize to the wingnuts of Texas, who have definitely marched around mosques with guns, posted online lists of people they suspect of being pro-Muslim, been terrified that Muslim cemeteries are the first step in imposing Sharia, protested against Muslims who gathered to condemn terrorism, and shouted down Muslims singing “The Star Spangled Banner.” But apparently they’re blameless in the December 25 mosque arson. Wonkette regrets the error, and can’t imagine how we could have jumped to that mistaken conclusion.

We did receive a couple of longer meditations on our Total Wrongness, from one “Operator 99,” who explained that there are pretty much no real hate crimes ever, just a bunch of whiny minorities who keep hitting themselves to make white people feel guilty:

Actually, the VAST majority of those headlines you superficially glance over, are later found to be self-inflicted for sympathy- or financial gain. 98%+ of Black Church Burnings these days are the same.

Yet, the ACCUSATIONS and speculations of the White Christian Male running rampant over the poor minority community make Page 1. The retractions and the truth, make page 38D weeks later. Next to the CVS coupons. And that is by design.

And prejudiced people like you lap it up, until the fake narrative proffered by the MSM becomes the reality in your minds. Progressive-minded people have always been the easiest to fool, as they lead with their emotions. All the while, claiming the mantle of intellectual superiority. It’s why Lenin called people like you, The Useful Idiots.

And it’s why Libertarian-minded people like me will always seek the REAL facts, the stats, and the truth. I will never allow myself to be a useful idiot of the Media, or the mob.

Damn, we wish we could be as smart as he is. If we were, we’d be able to find a citation for that “98%+ of Black Church Burnings” are committed by members of the churches. Or maybe by “these days” he only means the series of fires set at churches in the St. Louis area in October. Those were definitely set by a black guy. And once again, “Operator 99” didn’t quite provide a bit of evidence that even a significant fraction of the dozens of hate crimes against Muslims (and a few Sikhs, for looking suspicious to bigots) since Paris and San Bernardino were actually hoaxes. Perhaps instead of wasting his time complaining to a liberal mommyblog, Operator99 should alert the Fresno Police and have them interrogate that elderly Sikh man until he confesses to beating himself up and breaking his own collarbone.

Operator 99 also had this definitive disproof of something we never actually said. In discussing the December 5 vandalism a Sikh temple, in which 20-year-old Brodie Durazo confessed spray-painting “Islahm [sic] Fuck ISIS” on the building and a nearby truck trailer, we left out something VERY IMPORTANT, according to Operator99:

The more you read this idiotic article by Dr. Zoom, the more moron nuggets you find!

…”20-year-old Brodie Durazo, who was arrested and later apologized to the congregation for being a violent bigoted idiot….”

Except, far from the “white bigoted male” stereotype exclusively offered up in this brilliant editorial, once again…the pesky truth gets in the way. Turns out, Senior Durazo was confirmed by the Anaheim Police to be a member of the “SSBP”…South Side Barrio Pobre Latino gang. And most of the graffiti left on the building, was typical gang markings.

The amateur who wrote this lame tome seemed to know enough details about the case to comment here…but just happened to leave out that critical piece of info…that it WASN’T some white racist. Well, since leftist ideologue hacks had to coin the term “white-hispanic” to fit their narrative of systemic racism, so maybe he is applying that here. One thing is for sure. It wasn’t Bubba in his Ford 150 with the gun rack…

Once again, my apologies for the diversion into reality. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled white bigotry fantasy programming…

Never mind that nowhere in the piece did we claim that Durazo was white, or a conservative, or anything but a bigot. In fact, we pretty much assumed that with a last name like Durazo, he probably was Latino. And no, we didn’t call him “white-Hispanic, either.” What we called him was an anti-Muslim bigot, which seems pretty well supported by his having conflated a Sikh temple with Islam and with ISIS. As for the fact that the vandalism of the Sikh temple was perpetrated by someone who wasn’t a member — same for the December 11 firebombing of a Coachella Valley mosque — we might suggest that maybe those facts argue against the notion that over 98% of such events are merely minorities trying to look like victims. Or perhaps these two examples were the only attacks that weren’t inside jobs.

In any case, that was a pretty good catch, calling us out for that thing we never said.

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  • Shibusa
    • Villago Delenda Est

      The victimhood, and the derp.

  • Zippy

    It’s pretty pathetic when the best you can do is jump up and down in glee and proclaim “hey, we didn’t actually do this one!”

    • Michael Rush

      … like that dude that dated Bristol Palin ?

      • Zippy

        you’ll need to narrow it down, IYKWIM

        • Villago Delenda Est

          We’ll settle for just the battalion that had her.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I feel like such a dupe for being so quick to blame the bigots. It’s amazing the Mooselimbs have time to pray and work and raise families and such, given how much time they spend committing hate crimes against themselves.

  • Callyson

    Our own story was singled out by Newsbusters as “the winner for obnoxious left-wing blogging”

    Congratulations!

    http://i.imgur.com/1GzYrM5.jpg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hella proud when I read that!

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      We were only obnoxious? Vile or GTFO.

      • jmk

        Exactly. To call us only “obnoxious” is just damning with faint praise.

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          We have goddamn well earned our our title of “Nasty Vile Little Snark Mob.”

          Also too, jmk: Your avatar just gives me feels of happy ludicrosity every single time.

          • jmk

            We have indeed…and we work hard to maintain it!

            And also too -thank you!!! And your nym makes me smile and want to call you Roland.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            I can work with that . . .

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I think I got a bit of a chubby when I read that.

  • Callyson

    Anyway we can get you to stop writing nonsense?

    You might start by using proper grammar in your sentence that asks Wonkette to stop writing “nonsense.” Just sayin’…

    • Vegan and Tiara

      We can haz cheezburger?

      • RoyalUglyDude

        ..

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Yes, we can! (haz cheeseburger).

  • Wilson

    This week I defended a black feminist on reddit. I was not familiar with reddit beforehand.

    I have never had so many downvotes and disapproving comments in my life. The comments ranged from long sermons about how black people and women are terrible (it’s scientifically proven!!111!) to “i hope u get raped and die u stupid kunt.”

    Ah, internet.

    • zerosumgame0005

      that’s what ya get there fer havin’ such a purty mouth!!!!!! (see lots of “!”‘s and everything!)

      • theCryptofishist

        Needz moar capzlockz.\

        And maybe umlauts.

    • JohnBull

      Look at it this way: when they’re attacking you online, their kids have a chance to escape from that prison of angry daddy, Fox News and rancid Burger King take-out meals called a “home.”

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Shorter wingnuts: “One story of apparent racism turned out to be false, therefore all racism is nonexistent.”

    Weird that when their beacons of “truthiness” get a story wrong (insert any number of Faux or Britefart or the dozen howler monkeys of Twitchiedoodles) they don’t ever worry about the retractions and fact-checking. Those errors are gospel because they fit the narrative.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Wingnut ergo sum.

      • Querolous

        Wingnut ergo dumb.

      • PubOption

        Non cogito, ergo wingnut.

    • Lot_49

      Same as “Little Big Horn justifies distributed small-pox-infected blankets” or “The Alamo justifies taking half of Mexico because we need it for more slavery.”

    • Anarchy Pony

      They project like a fucking cineplex.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Showing Star Wars. In all three formats. On the same screen.

        • theCryptofishist

          With MRA commentary about how wrong the women and ethnics are.

    • TheBidenator

      You just summed them up, also: if one woman ever misreports rape then obviously rape does not really happen. Gun violence only exists because of black thugs killing each other and any conclusion otherwise is just emotional, domestic violence is not really a problem because women sometimes embellish just how much they are abused. Women aren’t paid less for the same job as a man because women can have babies, the climate isn’t changing or warming because it snowed today…we can go on and on about shit they are in deep denial about.

      • theCryptofishist

        Okay, I think you have it slightly off for the gun violence. The possibility always exists that black thug violence could be directed at white people who haven’t fully realized the 2nd amendment.

  • Callyson

    please ignore all the comments on the Newsbusters article saying “Burn them all!”

    But it’s Islam that is inherently violent…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      All snark aside for the moment, this is for me the very, very most precious thing about our Wonkette – that one CAN read the comments, without wanting to cause damage to one’s own person or expensive property!
      If comments were allowed, of course.

      • theCryptofishist

        I’ll have you know that the comments I believe I’m reading are wise, witty, cogent, kindest, nicest, bravest pony I’ve ever met.

        • nothingisamiss

          So Dok edited your comment, I see. He is the kindest, bravest, most wonderful writer I ever read.

      • nothingisamiss

        YES. Yes, yes, yes. So very important in these troubled times when many times I can only say “Fuck these guys.”

    • Swampay

      oh gawd. I’ve done that, clicked on comments on one of those dreadful things and had to scour my eyeballs with steel wool and bleach and then torture my liver with whiskey.

      • Because, like the cops in Sunnydale, I can sometimes be deeply stupid, I checked out Breitbart a few months ago. Great Holy Mary Mother of God, after five minutes in that cesspool I started losing my faith in humanity. I had to look at kitten videos for an hour before I felt better.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Their advertisers seem to think that there’s money in them thar assholes. Enough to keep Rush and Glenn in gold coins, at least.

  • doktorzoom

    Also too: Yes, we are working on a quick story about the Great Bundy Standoff in Oregon. Remember, it’s not terrorism when armed white patriots seize a Federal building and vow they’re willing to die for their principles. Washington, Jefferson, and Adams would be so proud.

    • Zippy

      Just remember, the white people didn’t do it- it’s probably a false flag by those darn Muslins

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      If Muslims or the Black Panthers took over a federal building while possessing firearms to provoke a stand off, this would be over already.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        $arah would’ve launched her Predatator drones hours ago.

        • coozledad

          Sarah would be treating them to a Belgian Police ball.

      • Lot_49

        As long as the problem is non-white people doing stuff white people don’t want them to do, gunz are always the solution.

      • Msgr_Moment

        How about white hispanics?

        • TheBidenator

          No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

        • PubOption

          George Zimmerman, for example.

      • malsperanza

        Along wit ha few nearby blocks of firebombed unrelated houses.

        • coozledad

          It’s funny the National Media never mentions Move in this context.

          • Cripes. What a clusterfuck that was. And by “clusterfuck” I mean “horrifying disaster.”

      • coozledad

        My greatest hope is that they’ll be cordoned off and isolated from food and water until they start turning on each other for long pig, and that ABC news will be trapped there with them until the barbecue is over.

        But you know it won’t get that far. They’ll quit when the central heating goes out.

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    • Blueb4sunrise

      This whole blog has forever been wrong because there may be a typo…..

      Our features comments are a little out of the ordinary this week…

      • Zippy

        SHUT IT DOWN!!1!

      • doktorzoom

        Damn my typing. Good catch. Fixed, too. But yes, utterly invalidated forever.

        • Blueb4sunrise

          Ah, see, now comes the cover-up.

    • Lot_49

      “Seize a Federal building” in this case is probably more like, “Refuse to leave the visitor center when politely asked.”

      Which isn’t to say they aren’t dangerous jerks.

      • Notreelyhelping

        “And we’re drinking this coffee without paying a dime because it belongs to the taxpayers! FREEDOM!”
        “It’s gratis, bub.”
        –pause–
        “FREEDOM!”

        • Beulah

          Free is when you don’t have to pay for nothing
          Or do nothing
          We want to be free
          Free as the wind

          — FZ “Teen-age Wind”

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          If it belongs to the taxpayers, you already paid for it.
          Same goes for “seizing” Federal property – you aren’t seizing it from anybody . . . you’re just kicking all your co-owners out.

    • Anarchy Pony

      They’d put them down hard like they did Shay’s rebellion.

      • Pickwicknext

        I’m more of a fan of the Whiskey rebellion. More booze

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          Get some food in you before your start rebellin’. You suffered last night from the lack of waffles, beavertails, cheesey anything, etc.

          • Pickwicknext

            Will do! Sadly, i never did recieve my Hogwarts letter, so i have to make food the muggle way.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner
          • Pickwicknext

            Thanks! I will watch when home. The potential for going over on my data is high and i would like to keep both my kidneys for now

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Also, it’s a Guy Fieri video . . . :

          • Pickwicknext

            Why? Why do you seem to hate me Headless?!?

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Made yer Donkey Sauce yet?

            (That has a whole different meaning when asked in Tijuana.)

          • Pickwicknext

            There will be no donkey sauce (of either kind) crossing my lips. I had a cinnabon at the mall with my mom. And, dear god, that makes me sound terrible

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Terrible?

            Or just very, very sad?

            If you were wearing a Stars War or Doctor Hu clothing item of any kind, you might have hit peak dorkiness. ;)

          • Pickwicknext

            Yeah…i was wearing my TARDIS scarf and my Hitchhiker’s quote tshirt. (In the beginning the universe was created*

            *this has made a lot of people very angry and has widely been regarded as a bad move)

            I am a total dork. But not a real whale’s penis

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            So you’re either the penis of an artificial whale . . . or the fake penis of an authentic whale? Am I getting this right?

            How can anyone be angry at a Canadienne, at all, much less one who’s cheerfully manifesting peak dorkiness in public? It’s kicking a polite puppy.

          • Pickwicknext

            Yay! Interwebs friends! I am a perfectly polite puppy. No weeing on the carpet or anything!

            (I piss people off by wanting to be like Sherlock.)

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Well, maybe if you didn’t insist on being addressed as Basil Rathbone . . .

          • Pickwicknext

            More Head Cumberbitch in charge for me, thank you very much!

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Well, some of us are traditionalists and some are slaves to what is au courant. We like you anyway, Wee Puppy Canadienne.

          • Pickwicknext

            I enjoy traditional as well. I am also a Cary Grant girl. And Bogie. And Hitchcock (but that is a brains thing)

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Have you see The Big Sleep? Bogart and Bacall, man . . .

            (And sorry if I sounded dogmatic earlier; was going to wry, but I might have missed.)

          • Pickwicknext

            There truly needs to be an agreed upon sarcasm font agreed upon the the next internets summit.

            Yup, have seen that one. I love me some screwball comedies though. Bringing up Baby, His Girl Friday…if I weren’t rewatching my way through Sherlock today. I know! I’ll watch those this week!

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Also, All About Eve–Bette Davis and Ava Gardner. Remarkable writing in that one.

            Good thing you powered up with that Cinnabon for the strength you’ll need for binge-watching! Remember, it’s a marathon, not a spring.

          • Pickwicknext

            I will be marathoning things until spring. It finally started snowing today. Winter is no longer coming, it’s here

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Let us know, Pick, and we’ll airdrop more Cinnabons. Once we clearly distinguish London, ON from Hamilton, ON. It will take a while, but we’ll get there.

          • kaw143

            HEY! I don’t eat Cinnabon!

            #notalldorks

          • Pickwicknext

            Are you punishing me for the horrifying pineapple?

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Oui, pour tu es* une mal Canadienne! Mal!

            *Headless is assuming the familiar is appropriate, what with all the up close and personal torment he’s inflicting.

          • Pickwicknext

            No! Not the comfy chair!

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            Bahaha

          • PubOption

            Perhaps he doesn’t like Thursday Next?

          • Pickwicknext

            Blasphemer! Everyone (except my mom, and she’s weird) loves Thursday!

          • OddMan

            First, shoot a Donkey.
            Then start the sauce.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            It’s like listening to Ina Garten.

        • nothingisamiss

          I find less to rebel against when there’s whiskey.

    • bookish

      Silly rabbits have bravely seized an outpost of the Evil Empire that has no strategic or tactical importance whatsoever. What’s next, a takeover of the local fish hatchery? Shut off the utilities, open the gates, walk away. And send in a provocateur from farmers only.com

    • Msgr_Moment

      Nobody move, or the white guy gets it.

      • The Wanderer

        (moves)
        (with votes!)

      • Ha! When I saw the headline “Bundy Family… ,” for a split second I wondered what Al and Peg had done this time.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yes, like a few buildings at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge are key to controlling all of Harney County, Oregon.

      • jmk

        It’s all about strategery!!

        • Notreelyhelping

          Clearly a feint before they boldly capture that leftist epicenter of Frenchglen.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            You can tell it’s leftist…just look at that name!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Well, they were originally going to seize something more strategic like the telegraph office, but it turns out they don’t really have those anymore. Who coulda knowed?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          To seize the telephone exchange, they’d have to do it in Burns, and the people in Burns have made it abundantly clear that they have no use for these jackholes.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            That’s OK, telephones are awfully new-fangled. If dots and dashes were good enough for anti-immigrant campaigner Samuel Morse (*) they should be sufficient for everybody.

            (*) Sadly true.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            It was important to keep out undesirables, like that shifty Marconi fellow.

      • Anarchy Pony

        The Malheur national wildlife refuge isn’t in Malheur county? I has a confuse.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          No, don’t ask me why, it’s in Harney County. As is Malheur Lake.

        • PubOption

          Malheureusment.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            In case you are wondering where the name comes from, Wikipedia comes to the rescue:

            The name of the river is derived from the French for “misfortune.” The name was attached to the river by French Canadian voyageur trappers working for the North West Company on the Snake County Expeditions of Donald Mackenzie as early as 1818 for the unfortunate circumstance that some beaver furs they had cached there were discovered and stolen by Indians. The name first appears in the record in 1826 when Peter Skene Ogden, a fur trapper with the Hudson’s Bay Company, referred to it as “River au Malheur (from rivière au Malheur, literally: River of the Misfortune)” and thereafter as “Unfortunate River.”

      • theCryptofishist

        Is it still duck season?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          WABBIT SEASON!

          • nothingisamiss

            DUCK SEASON!

          • kaw143

            I say it’s duck season and I DEMAND you shoot me!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        These dolts actually think that this bit of theater will spark an insurrection. What they’ll get, of course, is a spike in traffic, and in armchair patriot spew, on the usual wingnut/conspiraloon websites.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      According to the liberal New York Times, they are just “activists”, so no reason to be alarmed.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        So, an activist is a right-wing idiot with a gun who doesn’t shoot innocent people to make a point?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Well, doesn’t shoot people right away, anyway.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            A right-wing idiot who waves guns, threatens to shoot, and counts on his being white to avoid getting shot.

    • bookish
    • Swampay

      Hard to obey the rules for radicals on this one. There’s a longstanding tradition of execution for treason. However, it would just give them a martyr, that’s one of the reasons we don’t like the execution, right? So just prison, for a long, long, long time. Preferably incommunicado. No soap dropping “jokes”, just send these bastards away.

      • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

        Well, if you’re going to be mature and reasonable about both politics and the internet, fine.

        • kaw143

          Right? Like that EVER happens.

      • doktorzoom

        It isn’t treason anyway — we aren’t at war, and these assholes are so far guilty of nothing worse than breaking and entering, trespassing, and illegal occupation of a federal facility. Now, if the fuckers shoot a whooping crane, they’re in for a world of hurt.

        • OddMan

          Can’t we speculate on their being treason filled hate mongers with small dicks?
          Please, just a little.

    • TheBidenator

      Right…only Muslims are capable of terrorism :rips out section dealing with the IRA and abortion clinic attacks from modern history text: much better and now it’s free from lib bias.

    • TheBidenator

      I don’t suppose when they end this non-violently because of course it will happen that way the BLM can finally seize Bundy’s fucking cattle and arrest his old welfare ass for conspiracy, or is that too much to hope for?

      • willi0000000

        now’s the perfect time to get bundy’s cattle . . . all the protection is out of town.

    • coozledad

      Maybe this could be like a Shay’s rebellion where we finally decide the power of the federal government outweighs the concerns of some deer-hunting shitshorts, and we can depend upon the power of the Constitution to protect the rest of us from hick dumbfucks.

      These are bad people. This shit has to end.

      • Lot_49

        Or the besieged freedom fighters clog up the toilet and run out of beef jerky and Mountain Dew, so go home.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bad analogy, since Shay & Co. had legitimate grievances. Pretty much everything they wanted, they got (later, by legislation, so’s not to let Shay be credited.)

    • SadDemInTex

      I can only hope that when you do you violate your own rules for commenting.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Thanks Dok. I’m trying to follow that story as well. I wonder if the Feds will use a Predator drone or an Air National Guard A-10.

    • bupkus23

      Hey, they had to do something after the Hammonds decided they didn’t want anything to do with the dipshits. FREEDUMZ!!!

    • nothingisamiss

      After the standoff, maybe the arresting officers can take these boys out for cheeseburgers before locking them up?

      Like they do in Baltimore?

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Our founding fathers may have been racists, but they wouldn’t have had much respect for Cliven Bundy and his loser posse. Remember The Whiskey Rebellion?

      http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/duel/peopleevents/pande22.html

      Washington and Hamilton weren’t too eager to let a bunch of people defy the authority of the federal government, just because they didn’t like the law. The whiskey rebels didn’t have the “no taxation without representation” excuse, and neither does Cliven Bundy and his friends.

    • Steve Hyman

      But Colt, Smith and Wesson are attending in their stead.

  • Callyson

    Actually, the VAST majority of those headlines you superficially glance over, are later found to be self-inflicted for sympathy- or financial gain.

    Huh…so the acquaintance of mine who was gay-bashed years ago was supposed to cash in afterwards? I’ll tell him to check and see if the money is still there!

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      Callyson, you’ve got the verb wrong here: He gay-bashed himself for the Victim Munniez. See, this is what happens when you superficially glance over the battered body of your friend. Please be more careful.

      • theCryptofishist

        No, no, the HEADLINES are self-inflicted. I suppose you hit yourself with a newspaper.

  • Callyson

    leftist ideologue hacks had to coin the term “white-hispanic” to fit their narrative of systemic racism

    Yo, Operator 99? Since I have never heard the term “white-hispanic” (whatever the fuck that even means) until now, I’m pretty sure your side gets credit for inventing that word…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Well, I am pretty sure people from Spain are mostly white.

      And they are Hispanic. It’s a language thing.

      • theCryptofishist

        The Spanish are supposed to have a wide range of possible skin color, from very blond to rather dark. The dark having come in during the Muslim–EMERGECNY! MERJINCY~! FALSE FLAG WARNING! HISPANICS ARE MOOSLIMS! GRAB YOUR AK1! MEAT YOU’RE COMBAT GR9OPE ATTHE HIDEOUT!!

        • Notreelyhelping

          Effen’ Moors!

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      KNEEOHLOWJISMS OF FREEDOMZ!

      • zerosumgame0005

        is the “K” silent?

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          Like those graves of Muslins . . . until they climb out and start killin’ again.

          • zerosumgame0005

            no clue what you are saying here

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            The K is silent as the grave.

            Then I made a dumb joke about zombie Muslins climbing out of their graves like terror zombies (there was a protest against an Islamic cemetery a while back as evidence of more SHARIA OH NO).

          • zerosumgame0005

            OK, up to speed now :P

        • Enfant Terrible

          Yeah, like “kinniget”.

          • The Wanderer

            Fetchez le vache!

    • jmk

      Ohhhhhh I remember “white-hispanic”! The first time I saw it was as a Zimmerman-era way for people who would normally have dismissed Zim as a brown to support him and claim that those who didn’t were the “real” racists.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ve never heard the term before either, but being half Mexican, I guess I kind of am one. Dang it, I’m all confused…am I supposed to like Zimmerman now?

      • Zippy

        White Hispanic is the name of my eighties hair metal/norteño band

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Los Lobotomies.

    • therblig

      i prefer whispanic

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I prefer Hisite.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I don’t know that I’ve heard “white hispanic” but I’ve definitely heard “white Cuban” as a description for the wealthy, conservative Cubans who prospered under Batista and then fled to the US. Because class and race are entangled in Cuba and other parts of Latin America just like they are here.

      • theCryptofishist

        And the Cuban Chinese? do they exist? or only in Tom Waits songs?

        • Notreelyhelping

          In Jersey City, they used to have a Cuban-Chinese diner/laundromat. It was gloriously weird.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Did they celebrate when the Towers came down?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      White Hspanics are worthless sacks of offal like Rafael Cruz (Sr and Jr) and Marco Rubio. There’s a reason why every other Hispanic ethnicity loathes the Cubans who fled Fidel.

    • TheBidenator

      white-hispanics….I don’t recall Wonkette vilifying Spaniards but sure, if it makes the trolls paranoia a little more acute: fuck Spain (I don’t really mean it).

      • My Name Is Mok

        One cannot be too careful with the dastardly Spaniard. Turn your back for a minute, and he’s sneaking an armada into your territorial waters.

  • Swampay

    Dok, it must get tiring being an evil genius idiot. It never ceases to amaze me how the wingnuts are convinced that the liberals have a vast, detailed, evil genius conspiracy to ruin the world for our own pleasure, while simultaneously being too dumb to tie our shoes without trapping our fingers. It’s like Obama, the savage clever tyrant who bullies and deludes the congressional wingnuts and is coming for your guns, but is a wimp in mom jeans in international negotiations.

    It’s a lot easier for you guys than for the wingnuts. There’s no illusion of a secret genius plot for world dominance* by the right. They’re just plain old straight up stupid.

    *Except the bankers, etc, and there doesn’t need to be an evil genius plot for people with the same values to work for the same goals. Invisible hand of the market and all.

    • Pickwicknext

      Goddamn Adam Smith. His name has been used almost as often as Jeebus (babby or zombie) for justifying terrible shit. (Oh my god my touchscreen keyboard is terrible! #firstworldproblems)

      • Anarchy Pony

        He’s practically a socialist compared to the current parasitic capitalist class.

        • Pickwicknext

          True. Similar to how Reagan would never be elected now by the party that has deified him

        • Villago Delenda Est

          He inspired Marx.

          Burn his books! Burn them!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Smith is read about 0.002% as often as he’s invoked.

        (For good reason, but still…)

    • Last Hussar

      Its not a conspiracy if you can watch them do it, it gets reported on, it causes a worldwide financial crash, then they keep on doing it.

      • bookish

        Yep. Did anybody go to jail? I’ll wait.

    • TheBidenator

      And here I thought it was all just a bunch of dick jokes….what a fool am I? Buttsechs humor is just Illuminati code! I’m going to guess that Cocktober is the name for the new Decemberists….

      • theCryptofishist

        What, sort of like Starship is the name for the new Jefferson Airplane?

        • Notreelyhelping

          Kind of Jefferson Lift-bus at this point.

    • bupkus23

      “… It never ceases to amaze me how the wingnuts are convinced that the liberals have a vast, detailed, evil genius conspiracy to ruin the world for our own pleasure, while simultaneously being too dumb to tie our shoes without trapping our fingers…”
      Gee, change a few words and you get the ultimate in projection….

  • Callyson

    We now return you to your regularly-scheduled white bigotry fantasy programming…

    Thanks for the offer, but I never watch FOX News…

  • Pugsandcoffee

    You can practically hear the fapping behind comments when people from Newsbusters of Jesus Max or White People Defense Fund show up to rub our noses in something.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Personally, I’d rather base my autoeroticism on something that happens a little more frequently than Newsbusters correctly spotting an error on Wonkette.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        what, once a year isn’t good enough for ya? Pervert.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I base mine on “days that end in a ‘y’.”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No wonder they make typos. It’s probably difficult for them to concentrate, not to mention typing with one hand. Poor dears.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m guessing the original Shitferbrains comments aren’t really that crazy since, as we now know, Dok edits comments to twist them for his own malign purposes.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Well he is the warmest, bravest, kindest, human being I’ve ever met.
      Although his choice for best pony is frustrating at best.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Agreed.

      • Brazilian Fart Porn

        How I see Dr.Z

        • theCryptofishist

          Wrong pony.

        • Hutch

          Hawkin’ Rug Doctor in mufti? I had no idea.

    • TheBidenator

      Is that guy still bitching about Wonkette editing comments? Also, has DHS gotten involved and has Loretta Lynch brought charges against Dok yet? This story seems almost like a spy film :grabs popcorn:

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Jackbooted FCC thugs are en route to Idaho as we speak.

        • TheBidenator

          Oh no! Look out Dok theyze after ya! I’ve got the getaway car, I’ll be there in oh…10 hours.

    • The Wanderer

      Dok is the warmest, bravest, kindest human being I have ever met.

    • HenryKillinger

      Just you wait! The FBI, CIA, SEC, ATF, and sure, why the hell not, the FDA and CDC are coming any day now to shut Wonkette down!

      Edit: Shit! I forgot the FCC! They’re coming also too!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Turns out, Senior Durazo was confirmed by the Anaheim Police to be a member of the “SSBP”…South Side Barrio Pobre Latino gang.

    I guess they meant Se&ntildeor. Or were there multiple Durazos involved but only the oldest is a gang member?

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      There is a gang called the South Side Barrio Poor Person’s Latino gang?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        barrio pobre == poor neighborhood

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The Bundy Ranch, with fewer semi-automatic weapons.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Hey the people of the barrio may be poor, but they pay every penny of their grazing land fees.

    • Zippy

      I’m pretty sure that Junior Durazo holds the welterweight belt for the WBO

  • freakishlystrong

    2016-Out with the Old-In with the Old..

    • Count Awesome

      This year we deserve some new oldies.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    White Christian Male: most obvious terrorist threat on this continent.

    Round them all up and deport them. Not that anyone in Europe will have them, mind. Perhaps they can find a new home in Syria?

  • DerrickWildcat

    Newsbusters is Brent Bozell anger porn. They are a sad bunch of dopes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Dopes” may be giving them a tad too much credit.

  • Anarchy Pony

    It’s hard being on the left, what with our insidious goals of making a fair and equitable society, where no one is exploited and all are treated like human beings.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Why do you hate America?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Because of its obviously false pretenses and two faced nature.

        • theCryptofishist

          And unsingable national anthem.

          • Better tune than the British, though nothing beats the Marseillaise or the old Soviet or East German anthems.

          • theCryptofishist

            Oh god, the Hymn of the USSR is some fantastic antheming.

          • The Wanderer

            I like the Chinese anthem, ‘March of the Volunteers.’

          • The Wanderer

            ‘To Anacreon in Heaven’ is supposed to be sung while drunk.

          • My Name Is Mok

            So is “Waltzing Matilda” and it doesn’t have a one-octave change in the middle of the third verse.

    • Last Hussar

      You bastard. How are the rich supposed to exploit people – you arsehole taking away their rights to be arseholes.

    • Msgr_Moment

      You obvs missed the memo. It’s still Man Exploits Man, just the other way around.

      • theCryptofishist

        But AP’s a pony. That’s completely different.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      That’s what makes us the REAL racists, murderers, defamers, blasphemers, etc…
      We really need to take a good, long look at ourselves during the course of the new year.

  • Zippy

    I have it on good authority that the white punks on dope were really just having an allergic reaction to prescription medicine

    • Count Awesome

      Man, those medication side effects lists just keep getting longer and longer.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “This medication may have the side effect of turning you into Fee Waybill. Use with caution.”

        • Count Awesome

          If side effects include a warped sense of reality, there is no need to consult your physician…

          • Zippy

            if it lasts for more than four hours, it means you got a good batch

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            More than four hours, call your dealer for a re-up.

  • TheBidenator

    “that it WASN’T some white racist.”

    Yeah Wonkette, by not mentioning over and over again that Durazo is obviously some brown person you have offended a white racist. I mean, nowhere in the article is the suspects race even a factor which means obviously to make someone like operator99 who doesn’t see race happy, you had to mention race. Do these dumb fucks even listen to themselves or read their comments before hitting ‘post’?

    • Anarchy Pony

      It wasn’t a white racist that did it! It was a brown racist, therefore racism isn’t real or something…

  • TheBidenator

    Oh and operator99 you really don’t have to wonder why libertarianism attracts so many pigfucking honkey racists, dog knows I never do…

    • Enfant Terrible

      Hey now, my cat is libertarian… except for around dinner time.

  • weejee

    …a pretty good catch, calling us out for that thing we never said.

  • TheBidenator

    “Senior Durazo was confirmed by the Anaheim Police to be a member of the “SSBP”…South Side Barrio Pobre Latino gang.”

    Shit, there are now roving gangs of old people out vandalizing buildings? Alright, fuck it- time to cancel social security and get those olds back to work before they kill somebody…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Probably bullying “keep left” signs.

      • The Wanderer

        Stop that! It’s silly.

        • kaw143

          You’re no fun anymore.

          • The Wanderer

            Oooh!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I hear Walfart needs greeters.

    • Zippy
      • nmmagyar

        There is a Monty Python skit for EVERYTHING!!!!

        • kaw143

          Verily, they were the True Prophets.

          • H0mer0

            which is why you can always look on the bright side of life.

      • The Wanderer

        They just walk up to you, shove you off the pavement.

        • My Name Is Mok

          Some of us don’t even go down to the shops anymore!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Their gang sign is driving ten miles below the speed limit in the left lane with their left blinker going for the last ten miles.

    • What the hell did you think I was doing on New Year’s Eve?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    So people from Spain aren’t white? What about Portuguese or Italians, or the French?

    • bruce_webb

      As the British have told us for decades: “The Wogs begin in Calais”. So the answer for your A-S Protestant/Scotch-Irish Warrior types is “Well no, not really”.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Real white people don’t speak no Romance languages, dammit!

        • Romanian fascist Cornelius Codreanu begs to differ.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Don’t messin’ the truth up with your “fact” things.

          • The Wanderer

            For the longest time, I thought the Iron Guard was a position in old-time football.

  • Rick Hill

    They caught us on this but we still get to keep selling aborted baybee parts, right?

    • TheBidenator

      :wraps box filled with arms in shipping tape:, attaches label for the box to be delivered to Spago
      …..yep, we still have a thriving business in the ‘borted parts industry.

      • Rick Hill

        Great but we still need to fill the order for bayubee butts. There’s backlog in that dept.

        • Zippy

          and Chili’s is screaming for more baby back ribs

        • Spotts1701

          I’ll call over to Receiving and see if today’s delivery came in.

      • kaw143

        Spago? I KNEW IT!

  • LegionOfDo

    I’m happy for the wingnuts. Now when another lunatic acts on conservative rhetoric, they can counter with “Oh yeah? Well… Gary Nathaniel Moore!” CHECKMATE, LIBS!

  • TheBidenator

    It’s funny, wingnuts get caught lying and just being wrong so fucking often that they are positively orgasmic when it happens to someone else. Sort of like a really, really, really stupid guy who falls off the pier into the water 50 times a day having the best laugh of his life and feeling completely superior when he watches a drunk tourist accidentally take the plunge…

  • Enfant Terrible

    Huh. I see that the police have made quick work of dispersing and arresting 150 armed terrorists in eastern Oregon unarmed protesters at the site of Tamir Rice’s death.

    • Thepeoplevs.

      I am having the gay hating bakery deliver a couple dozen cupcakes for those heroic patriots…

      • Zippy

        maybe we can order some Memories pizza for them, also too

  • Rick Hill

    I get it, only THESE facts. I put it poorly, let’s have Steve Martin assplain to us what facts those smart libertarians are interested in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag6DtzRUF5U

  • malsperanza

    Someone does need to coin the term “white-hispanic,” but that would be the Rubio and Cruz supporters, who are still hoping to swing the ignorant-self-hating-Latino vote to the GOP next year.

    Good luck with that, hombres.

  • diogenez

    “…sorry to disappoint you,, I know you wanted it to be a white conservative Christian.”

    In terms of all out criminal buffoonery, white conservative Christians rarely disappoint:

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/01/03/armed-militia-bundy-brothers-take-over-federal-building-in-rural-oregon/

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Can you imagine if a group of Muslims or Black Panthers took over that lodge? The same idiots currently occupying the place would be calling for jackbooted government thugs to reclaim the space, for AMERICA!!!!

      • Anarchy Pony

        And to hang all the traitors.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Hang them? A waste of time, taxpayer dollars, and rope. No one would make it out of that building alive.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Another false flag! Perpetrated by prairie dogs!

    • CriticalDragon1177

      And in no other country on Earth would those people be able to pull that off even for a minute. Seriously the Bundy Loser Posse is an argument for getting rid of the second amendment and the government taking away “our guns”

      • HenryKillinger

        The great thing is, nothing even has to be done about the 2nd. As written, it says that members of well-regulated militias (which, now, would only be active-duty military personnel) are allowed to own guns for the purposes of defending the country. Nothing about the amendment guarantees open access to guns for everyone.
        We just need a SCOTUS that isn’t beholden to the NRA, and they can properly interpret the law.

  • azeyote

    for a second there i thought i was in Breitbart Hell – i gotta drink more, and stop smokin so much chronic in the morning

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’ma lock and load and head over to occupy my local brewpub this afternoon. Sick and tired of the tyranny of having to pay for a decent pint. Who’s in, patriots?

    • The Wanderer

      I need more beer. There’s naught but hard liquor in the house right now, as well as the 2012 Cotes du Rhone that went with Christmas dinner.

  • Haribo Lector

    It’s easy to understand why white Christian conservatives get excited when an atrocity turns out to have not been committed by a white Christian conservative. They have to; it’s so rare.

  • Spotts1701

    So leeme see if I understand – wingnuts can be wrong forever and ever, amen, and can still be considered trustworthy sources of information. But if anyone in reality makes one error, they are liars until the end of time?

  • theCryptofishist

    Actually, I believe Lenin called us A Useful Idiots, or maybe even One Useful Idiots, because Russian doesn’t have a “a” or even an “an”.

    • natoslug

      I knew he was one of us when he ended it with “also too.”

      • SDGeoff

        Or like one of our local Fox weather bimbettes starts her sentences, “And also, as well…” Those weather people love that “as well” thing. Do they believe it makes them sound serious?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          It’s a piss elegant way of saying “also, too.”

  • The Wanderer

    Obviously, they didn’t bother to actually read the article in depth, or they would have known that Durazo wasn’t characterized as anything but a hateful little douche.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, there’s the problem of them actually reading for comprehension in the way in the first place.

    • natoslug

      Summer’s Eve gone bad?

      • Ricky Gay

        Lie Sol

  • Sheepshagger

    Remember when those other blameless white folks got saddled with that unpleasantness at Katyn?

  • A pedant notes: Lenin never used the term “Useful Idiot”. That’s a McCarthyite meme of uncertain origin. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Useful_idiot

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Because the McCarthyites typify useful idiots.

    • natoslug

      Imagine there’s no pedants/it’s easy if you try . . . wait, wrong Lennon.

      (and yes, the first contraction above was extremely painful. The epidural kicked in by the time I got to “it’s.” It also helped that “it’s” wasn’t a blatant rules violation, loss of 15 yards and one roll of the dice)

      • The Wanderer

        But only on alternate Tuesdays, unless it’s raining.

  • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

    I’M ASSOCIATED WITH A WINNER!

    I MEAN, BARELY.

    OKAY, NOT REALLY AT ALL.

    SHUT UP.

    It was fun while it lasted. :(

    • natoslug

      We’re all whiners. Enjoy the ride, and this shiny new constellation prize. We’re all out of consolation prizes.

      • Ricky Gay

        izzit a milkyway bar?

        • vivian

          *snickers*

          • SnarkOff

            kisses!

          • Ricky Gay

            some times I feel like a nut

        • sw19womble

          Mars bar or GTFO

        • Beulah

          Zagnut libel.

        • mtn_philosoph

          Don’t bother calling that lady back about the apartment — I hershey bars kit kats.

  • Joshua Norton

    there are pretty much no real hate crimes ever, just a bunch of whiny
    minorities who keep hitting themselves to make white people feel guilty

    Now can you have all the racism, militarism, and authoritarianism with none of the stigma.

    • Pecker Rider of Pern

      Along with their libertarianism. It’s only authoritarianism if it’s white people getting imprisoned (for burning down wildlife reserves or other harmless acts of patriotism).

  • gedjcj

    I actually find it quite telling that Operator99 sees “violent bigoted idiot”, and reads “white bigoted male”.

    • sw19womble

      #notallviolentbigotedidiots

  • jviscont1

    Curious as to how the deleted commenters find their way here and do they buy any tee shirts or mugs on their way out?

    • jmk

      Ooo ooo!! I know, I know!! The Derp Signal goes up from some wingnut site, and they all swarm where they’re told to go. I learned all about it during the not-allowed-comment shitstorm that followed Kaili’s post about Ted Cruz holding his gun wrong.

      • SnarkOff

        Actually, they follow the mingled scent of grass, patchouli oil and sour baby formula until it leads them here.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The hive mind works in predictable ways.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          You just drone on.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Don’t bee such a drama queen.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    I give you Obamaface:

    • CriticalDragon1177

      I never even heard about her or that stunt she pulled. Can you post a link about it?

      • Beaumarchais?
        • CriticalDragon1177

          Thanks.

        • kaw143

          Wow. I did not realize that lunacy was significant enough to warrant a Wikipedia page. . .

          • Mehmeisterjr

            But for that one slight flub, Ashley Todd might have been McCain’s VP choice. She has all the qualifications he demanded.

        • doktorzoom
          • Beaumarchais?

            Show-off.

          • A_Z_4

            America’s Most Reliable News Source?

            I was just thinking that the article about the militia situation in Oregon was probably the most thorough account I had seen so far, with a variety of linked sources:

            http://wonkette.com/597530/bundy-family-sovereign-citizen-loons-have-special-constitution-that-says-they-can-steal-all-our-sht

            Admittedly Reddit and Gawker were the first sources I was looking at and the comments generally seemed confused at the time. I looked at a couple of other news sites as well, and they could have provided more background information, but maybe they were trying to get the news story out earlier as quickly as possible.

          • A_Z_4

            America’s Most Reliable News Source?

            I was just thinking that the article about the militia situation in Oregon was probably the most thorough account I had seen so far, with a variety of linked sources:

            http://wonkette.com/597530/bundy-family-sovereign-citizen-loons-have-special-constitution-that-says-they-can-steal-all-our-sht

            Admittedly Reddit and Gawker were the first sources I was looking at and the comments generally seemed like a mix of confusion at the time so that didn’t help. I looked at a couple of other news sites as well, and they could have provided more background information, but maybe they were trying to get the news story out earlier as quickly as possible.

          • H0mer0

            I remember a wonketteer responding to Miss Ashley’s narrative about realizing she was “on the wrong side of the tracks” with the comment that there is no “right side of the tracks” in Pittsburgh (also affectionately known as “Titsburgh” in one of my favorite jokes of all time, the one which ends with the punchline “You Bitch! You ruined my life!”)

          • Mr Corrections

            I don’t think it’s at all fair that you didn’t post that joke after those hints. However, in the spirit of bipartisanship and cooperation that has always defined the disallowed Wonkette comment section, I am fully prepared to post The Most Terrible Joke In The World in exchange for it.

          • H0mer0

            okay, since it is one of my favorites: A guy walks into a store and sees another man at the counter writing something and after reading it, he remarks out loud “you’re a fart smeller!”The other man responds “I beg your pardon!” and the embarrassed gentleman corrected himself saying “I’m sorry, I do that all the time–I meant to say you are a smart feller!” The other man smiled understandingly and recounted doing something similar : when trying to buy tickets for a trip to Pittsburgh, he found himself so mesmerized by the clerk’s voluptuous cleavage that when it came his turn in line, he stammered out a request for “pickets to Tittsburgh.” Another customer in the store who overheard them exclaimed “That happens to me too! The other day at breakfast with my wife, I was trying to ask her to pass the salt but instead it came out: “You Bitch! You ruined my life!”

          • H0mer0

            like the family guy joke that ends with the punchline that never fails to make Peter shit himself?

          • mtn_philosoph

            Geez. I’m still working through the Ashley Madison hoax.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1080189/Young-Republican-claimed-Obama-supporter-carved-letter-B-face-robbery-story-police-say.html
        It made the national news for several days in 2008. There were a few others, but she’s the one I remember because she was so freaking dumb.

    • That means she’s a “lesser” adulteress from The Scarlett Letter (The one who gets a “D” just lets a puritan stuff her bra and call it a day.)

      • H0mer0

        not a “double D”?

        • Msgr_Moment

          Free the nipple!

      • My Name Is Mok

        I thought the B stood for “butt stuff”.

  • SnarkOff

    Just saying, Operator 99, if there really were CVS coupons on Page 38D, that would be one of the best-read pages of the damn paper. Newspaper readers love their coupons.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Should Operator 99 really be citing Lenin? Is there any Ayn Rand to cover his point?

  • Jason M

    Moron nuggets, mmmmmmmm…….

    • retiredeng

      With dark dipping sauce.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Moron droppings, really.

  • OddMan

    “Anyway we can get you to stop writing nonsense?”
    “Aldridkg”

    Well he got his wish on that one didn’t he. That’s the reason I like this place, no nonsense, and the occasional dick joke.

    • kaw143

      Occasional? We’re far more generous than that!

  • JD Mulvey

    Next to the CVS coupons on page 38D is actually the first thing I look at. No joke.

    • kaw143

      Anything next to 38Ds is the first thing I look at.

      No, wait. The second thing.

      • mtn_philosoph

        Anything put there is guaranteed to get noticed.

  • AnOuthouse

    So according to Op99, spics ain’t white, they’re bown?

  • CriticalDragon1177

    ———————————————————————————————————-
    And it’s why Libertarian-minded people like me will always seek the REAL facts, the stats, and the truth. I will never allow myself to be a useful idiot of the Media, or the mob.
    ———————————————————————————————————-

    The real facts? Okay where did you get the “facts” that you mentioned earlier, Operator 99? You know the one about 98% of all black church burnings being carried out by their members for financial gain, or to get people to sympathize with them, by making us think that racism is still a problem in this country? And while we’re at it, you’re calling us bigots, yet you’re the one promoting a conspiracy theory about black church burnings that you have not only failed to back up with any evidence, but sounds very much like something racist white supremacist would come up with. Oh and when you say you’re “Libertarian-minded” does you’re “libertarian mindedness” include things like support for bringing back segregation, because white people have a “right” not to be around “those” people?

    Just curious.

    • Walter_the_farting_dog

      Libtard = Libertarian

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Not really. Its a derogatory word for a liberal, that many wingnuts use as an insult, when liberals present an argument they disagree with.

        • Walter_the_farting_dog

          Yes I know, but it seems to fit those who like to throw it around much more than those they are throwing it at.

          • CriticalDragon1177

            Probably shouldn’t use it through, if not to avoid looking like a jerk, to keep people from mistaking you for a right wing loon. I have come across some relatively reasonable libertarians however, but Operator 99 clearly isn’t one of them.

          • Walter_the_farting_dog

            I know intent doesn’t always come across in comments but I was aiming for snark there. I do think it would be fun to turn the tables on them with that epithet but doubt it’s going to happen today.

          • H0mer0

            I’d always assumed libtard could be used as a derogatory term for either a liberal or libertarian, unlike “refugee-hugging queer.”

        • OneDemin EOr

          “…present an argument they cannot understand.”
          FIFY

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think you mean “Libertardian”.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    “Progressive-minded people have always been the easiest to fool, as they lead with their emotions.”

    Get that boy an IMAX screen. Anything smaller would be worthless with that projection.

  • dshwa

    “Progressive-minded people have always been the easiest to fool, as they lead with their emotions. All the while, claiming the mantle of intellectual superiority.”

    It’s always projection with these Asshats. Always.

    • Pff. He’s not easy to fool. That’s why he did the smart thing and put all of his money into Goldline like Glenn Beck told him to.

    • berkeleyfarm

      “I know you are but what am I?”

  • “Mosque” sounds like “mask.” Masks are scary like on Halloween.

    I’M JUST SAYIN’!!!!!!!

    • The Wanderer

      Well, ‘mosque’ is very close to ‘mosquito’ in the dictionary.

      • William_C_Diaz

        So a mosquito is a little mosque for Mexicans then?

        Have a great day!

    • Querolous

      The Mosque of the Red Death by Poe?

      • Mr Corrections

        *spits* looks like we got one of them “readers” here, fellas…

  • kaw143

    I will never allow myself to be a useful idiot

    So, you’ll settle for just “idiot”, then?

  • The Wanderer

    Did “Operator 99” marry “Inspector 12?” Because if he did (as I recall, the Inspector was rather mean, hard-bitten and unattractive), it would explain a lot about his thought processes.

    • kaw143

      Photographic proof? It would be unresponsible to disspeculate.

      https://youtu.be/Ud80136E8J4

      …Not that I’m old enough to even know what you are talking about. *cough*

  • OneDemin EOr

    Hmmm. Progressives are emotional? Hardly.
    Who’s ALWAYS ‘fraid of those ghosts? And black or brown folks? Or Moose-limbs?
    Well, now, that would be the right wing nut jobs, now, wouldn’t it?

    • Walter Wellstone

      That’s the one that always gets me. Wingnuts accuse us of being driven by feelings instead of logic and, yet, they’re the ones proudly afraid of teh Jeebus’ dad, sex, terrorists and other things. They’re the ones who say “this is what I believe and this is what I’m going with,” and reject science as yet another conspiracy to take away their freedom to be stupid. I will give them that we are driven by at least one feeling: empathy for our fellow humans, which is the most effective antidote against douchebaggery, and that’s something to be proud of especially since they have no fucking clue about what that means. Fuck Ted Cruz.

      • Eyeball Freckles

        Word

  • Jenny

    Rarity is best pony!

  • eddi

    None so blind as those who cannot read.

  • Ranina

    I wonder if these deleted commenters ever come back to see (if not to actually read) the Doktor’s replies? I would really be interested to read what the Operator has to say in his own defense.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Disqus thoughtfully emails you when someone responds to your post; I expect O99 will see the exquisitely reasoned discourse we all expect here.

  • D_C_Wilson

    Never mind that nowhere in the piece did we claim that Durazo was white, or a conservative, or anything but a bigot.

    For some reason, when far right wing conservatives hear someone use the term “bigot,” they always assume they’re talking about them.

    I can’t imagine why.

    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      Pavlovian indignation?

  • Dr. Krieger IRL

    “Yet, the ACCUSATIONS and speculations of the White Christian Male running rampant over the poor minority community make Page 1. The retractions and the truth, make page 38D weeks later.”

    I want to know where this guy’s finding a possibly 160+ page newspaper, because I’d read the shit out of that thing.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Ever seen the Sunday NY Times?

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I hate when I get a dictionary-thick Sunday NYT and think “good! lots of great information to be aware of in here!” and it turns out to just be bulked up by a massive magazine in the middle. Hate it.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Ads. It’s full of ads.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Especially when the “magazine” is a 1-inch thick wad of glossy advertising for $1,000 suits and shoes to match. That’s what Vogue is for.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I’m still staring at 38DD. I’ll be in my bunk.

      • Dr. Krieger IRL

        I’d stare, too.

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    • Dr. Krieger IRL

      .sdneirf tseb eht ekam yeht ,sehciwdnaS

    • Walter Wellstone

      For fuck’s sakes… Go away.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I honestly prefer the RWNJ deleted comments.

    • chascates

      Karen, do you give head on the first date?

  • Lord-Nash

    “Never mind that nowhere in the piece did we claim that Durazo was white, or a conservative, or anything but a bigot.”

    How dare you say that thing you did not say!

  • efrog

    While the perpetrator of the Houston mosque arson may have been a member, I’d like to point out that he may have joined the mosque simply to sow discord and harm other members in some way, without ever being a true Muslim.

    I do not say this to be a troll and unfortunately, I only have anecdotal evidence to support my point. However, the mosque attended by my in laws in northern Indiana (yes, there ARE mosques in Indiana!) has had at least 5 “false members” join their ranks over the past 14 years in an effort to sabotage from within. Beyond that, every time after Muslims are in the news for something bad (which is constantly now), they see an influx in non-Muslim visitors that sit in on services, “just to make sure the mosque isn’t preaching any funny business.” This is a real and recurring issue that is not well known outside of the Muslim community.

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