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Time for another history lesson
So this is awkward …

In addition to shutting down mosques (that’s so October) and tracking every Muslim (that’s so Sunday), President Donald Trump is gonna straight-up flat-out ban all Muslims from setting one Muslimy toe on the shores of his Great-Again America, right in their Muslim faces:

Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.

Now, don’t you go giving Trump the benefit of the doubt here, like some kind of moron, because Team Trump doesn’t want it:

When asked by The Hill whether that would include Muslim-American citizens currently abroad, Trump spokeswoman Hope Hicks replied over email: “Mr. Trump says, ‘everyone.'”

Mr. Trump has not provided any specifics yet of whether and how he will decide which Muslim-American citizens he will eventually allow to return to their own country, of America. Perhaps they’ll have to get in line in Mexico, behind all the legal Latino immigrants he plans to deport, who will be ushered through his beautiful door in his beautiful wall — once he finishes vetting them personally — because “we want the legals to come back into the country.”

Or maybe fuck the Muslims, they’re worse than Mexicans! Someone’s doing the jihad, after all.

On Tuesday, he further explained that his No Muslims policy is basic “common sense.” He told CNN, “I know what has to be done, and we don’t want to have a situation like Paris. And we don’t want to have another World Trade Center.” Thus, no Muslims — including American citizens — allowed into America.

Is this the Trumpiest Trump that Trump ever Trumped? Who can even tell anymore? At least it has provided his rivals another glorious moment to pretend they are not JUST AS BAD AS TRUMP, but with less charisma.

Jeb Bush tweet

Hinged and Serious One Jeb! Bush is quite offended by Trump suggesting we should keep out the Muslims, which is entirely different from Jeb’s plan to only accept Christian refugees, who are inherently good and harmless, bro, because Christian.

Ted Cruz also wants the record to reflect banning Muslims is not his policy, even though he too would like to let in only Christian foreigners, because he can personally vouch for every single one of them. They’re the good guys. Cruz is far more delicate about barely distancing himself from Trump, though, because maybe Mr. Trump will pick him for VP, pretty please.

Ben Carson, who has previously said he “would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation” because a Muslim president would be unconstitutional, doesn’t support a religious test for entry into America. But it’s hard to give him credit for his moral superiority to Trump when he thinks there is a religious test for the Oval Office.

While we’re having the medals engraved for Cruz and Bush and Carson for feigning slightly more humanity than Donald Trump, we’ll pick up somethin’ nice for John “You know, the moderate one!” Kasich too:

Screen Shot 2015-12-07 at 4.20.01 PM

Don’t forget to save some outrage, Gov. Kasich, for the divisive sombitch who suggested creating a new federal agency to spread “Judeo-Christian Western values” throughout Muslimland. You might have heard of him. His name is Gov. Kasich.

You’ll kindly forgive the fuck out of us if we are underwhelmed by the supposed difference between “Christians only” and “No Muslims.” Every single one of these dick-sneezes is overlooking that pesky, inconvenient thing at the top of the Bill of Rights. Surprising, given the weeping and whining Republicans have done this year about oppressed gay-hatin’ florists and the sanctity of Josh Duggar’s traditional marriage and poor jailed Kim Davis, the martyr of Rowan County, Kentucky.

But no. The Muslims are the enemy, and we must take all steps, however diplomatically the candidates may or may not want to describe them, to kick ’em out, keep ’em out, and force them to embrace our values. OR ELSE.

From Trump to Kasich and every also-ran in between, they are all wrong. There is no religious test to be an American, and the United States government cannot do religion to you. The Constitution says so. Full stop.

[Trump website / The Hill / CNN]

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  • Lizzietish81

    Last night while waiting for my therapist, one of the ladies in the office was going on about how good an idea this was. I was like, wow I usually see Muslims in here, but tonight it’s empty, I wonder if she would say that to their faces.

  • BMW

    Now??? Now they figure out he’s nuts?

    • Msgr_Moment

      No. Now they see an opportunity. Cruz refuses to denounce his buddy, though, so there’s that.

      • witsended

        If all Americans with guns shot all the other Americans that they hated.

        The good news is. There would be no Americans left.

        The bad news is . Ted Cruz is Canadian.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Reza Aslan ✔@rezaaslan
    Shit! I’m in Haiti. Well I guess I’ll just have to live here. They have inalienable constitutional rights so it’s ok

    Ali Velshi ✔@AliVelshi
    Hey @realDonaldTrump, I’m on a trip to the UK this week. Can you make your #totalmuslimban go into effect after I’m back? #please
    5:28 PM – 7 Dec 2015

  • Tallmutha

    No less a Republican than Diabolus himself, Dick Cheney, has also attacked Trump from the left on this issue. Not that he deserves any credit, because he told Hugh Hewitt that we have to let them in, but for security reasons “you have to set up a vetting process.” Gee, if only there were a vetting process. No one sows uncertainty and fear like The Dick, even when he’s not wrong on an issue.

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      I understand The Dick on this one. He’s out of friends and domesticated quail to blast away at. You know, “hunting.”

    • The Wanderer

      Maybe The Dick should invite The Donald to go, you know, ‘quail shooting.’

    • JustPixelz

      This is disturbing. Cheney is always wrong about everything. If he’s right about Trump, the fabric of space-time may be torn asunder.

      • FlownOver

        Someone’s messing around with the Infinite Improbability Drive again.

      • Whale Chowder

        It’s the blind squirrel / wingnut paradox.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Cheney does business in Arab countries.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Is there actually a “to the right” of this issue? I think he may have reached peak wingnut. On the other hand, I’ve thought that before and been proved wrong.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    If Trump wins the nomination, as seems quite possible, those Democratic party ads quoting what other Republicans had to say about him are going to write themselves.

    • coozledad

      If he runs as an independent, the Republicans will have accidentally tripped their suicide vest. They not only lose the presidency, it will probably break the party discipline regarding downticket races.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Maybe this isn’t so depressing after all…

    • JustPixelz

      Whoever is the nominee the ads against Hillary will be vicious. If it’s Trump, they will be demonic — and I mean that literally.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Yes, but it’s going to make the phone call in the middle of the night thing really resonate.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Not to mention that “I.Don’t.Care.” is going to be one hell of a campaign slogan.

  • chascates

    He was just on ABC News and George Stephanopoulos couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Trump’s like tsunami.
    http://wonkville.net/2015/12/08/glorious-leader-calls-for-complete-ban-on-all-moslems-heil-donald-trump-the-ultimate-savior/

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      The Tsunami of Tshit!

      • arglebargle

        a poonami

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          The Grim-some Tide.

      • coozledad

        The hurlicane!

      • Antimassacree

        A Rain of Terror

    • Latverian Diplomat

      At least Trump “earns” it by bullying.

      McCain, they just hand him the mike and listen adoringly, week anfter week.

      • coozledad

        McCain wishes he could be Trump, but he likes getting that NPR head.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          McCain insists on his own brand of crazy, instead of telling the crazy people what they want to hear.

          • coozledad

            An Admiral’s boy to the last shart.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Was he actually on the teevee? Usually he just literally phones it in.

      • chascates

        You’re quite right; it was a phone call. I imagine him sitting on his throne (or, “the” throne) while his minions iron and weave his hair.

    • coozledad

      A shitnado!

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Trump didn’t like the camps we forced the Japanese Americans into during WWII.

    They didn’t go far enough.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well, that’s why Toyota beat GM, Sony beat RCA, JVC beat Ampex, etc.

      It certainly wasn’t the greed and incompetence of American CEOs, no sir.

      • Lizzietish81

        Lies! It was the unions!

      • JustPixelz

        One reason is Japan built modern factories after WWII because all their old factories had been destroyed. We rested on our laurels.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          What’s England’s excuse?

          • sw19womble

            Too busy making Ealing comedies and forming skiffle groups.

          • BeliTsari

            US, “commonwealth” & Polish serviceman’s babbys & Spam addiction?

        • SterWonk

          It’s funny how people forget that one of the reasons we became so rich after WWII is because most of the industrialized world had just spent half a decade blowing itself up, while our factories were safely on the other side of two different oceans.

  • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

    A geniuser than usual headline. Wonket.

  • dslindc

    And of course, this is exactly what GOP primary voters eat up in mass quantities. He’s just saying what the crazies that have taken over the party all believe.

    Good thing he’ll never be Preznit.

  • witsended

    Nothing to do with muslims , everything to do with people having sun tans no matter what part of the globe they come from.

  • onedollarjuana

    I was pooh-poohing those who were saying that Trump is just doing a performance art piece, but I’m beginning to side with them.

  • natoslug

    No religious tests, dammit! Pop-quizzes only.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Question # 1. How much do you love Jesus?

      • Lizzietish81

        Question #2 Is Mary the Mother of God or the God Mother?

        • Tallmutha

          Question #3: If God is good and all-powerful, how do we account for the existence of evil?

          • natoslug

            Given the descriptions of God in the Old Testament, how do we account for the existence of good?

          • GuidedAccordingly

            To say nothing of the Donald!

  • DerrickWildcat

    On Morning Joe, Trump decided to go with that, “No Go Zones” in Paris nonsense.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Well, my wife will kill me if she catches me in certain places there…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Antiquarian bookstores and soccer pitches?

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Knocking shops. And most certainly the pitch in Paris.

    • witsended
      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Yeah, that’s bullshit. Birmingham is Hindu, isn’t it?

        • witsended

          Old joke, you can always spot a Brummie because of the Shamrock in his turban.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Trump thinks this would have stopped the attack in California last week.

    Trump further stated “I’m just getting over influenza, so I’m going to get a flu shot.

  • Oblios_Cap

    If they just ask all the refugees if they believe in Jesus, only the atheists, agnostics, Hindi, Buddhists and a few of the smaller religions would be kept out.

    • Tallmutha

      Hey, what are the Jews, chopped liver?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        He did say “smaller religions”. :-)

      • Oblios_Cap

        The Chosen People answer to no one but YHWH.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Apologies to B. Brecht:

    After the uprising of the 2016 GOP primaries
    The Secretary of the Republican Party
    Had talking points distributed on the Fox News
    Stating that the grassroots Teahadists
    Had forfeited the confidence of the Party
    And could win it back only
    By redoubled efforts. Would it not be easier
    In that case for the Party
    To dissolve their constituency
    And elect another?

    • The Wanderer

      Excellent paraphrase. Brecht would be pleased.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    There is a way to stop this. The media could stop covering what he says – make him pay to spell it out in ads – and the Reps could grow a pair and ban him from their debates.

    Sorry – it’s early and apparently I’m still dreaming.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      I read today on Huffington Post (yeah, yeah, I know, they suck, but still…) that they have decided that they will cover Trump no longer. It’s a start.

      • Msgr_Moment

        This after months ago saying that they wouldn’t cover him on the front page. How’d that work for them?

        • AntiDerpomeme

          Also not sure how realistic that policy really is, since he could well be the Republican challenger for POTUS, FSM help us all.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      …and the Reps could grow a pair and ban him from their debates.

      Their fearless leader is chinless twerp Reince Priebus. I’m fairly certain that the concept of growth of a pair is far beyond his intellectual abilities.

  • Antimassacree

    Trump and the GOP are so wordy. Wouldn’t a brisk “Auslander raus!” suffice?
    (Sorry, no umlaut capability.)

    • Msgr_Moment

      Here:
      äëïöüÿ

      Use them with care.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Msgr_Moment takes no responsibility if you hurt yourself trying to pronounce them, particularly ö.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Coöperate. That wasn’t so bad.

          • pstockholm

            Noöne uses that anymore.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Not even Zoë, Chloë or Lacoön?

          • pstockholm

            Ironically enough, in Swedish, with ready access to ö, Laocoön i Laocoon.

        • sw19womble

          This is my ö face.

          • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

            I projectile laughed.

        • Msgr_Moment

          That’s how I got the döüblë hërnïä.

        • data_ninja
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Ausländer raus!

      This message brought to you by the letter ä

      • Antimassacree

        Danke.

      • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

        . . . it’s magic!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Apparently, U.S. Muslim Soldiers and translators serving abroad won’t be allowed to come back home.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Mr Trump doesn’t beat around the bush.

      • geoffalnutt

        That’s a merkin not a bush…made from space-age polymers. Scuff-resistant, hypoallergenic and gluten-free.

    • Support Our Troops!

  • Ryan Denniston

    What a pathetic party. Trump, well, his poll numbers will only rise. Meanwhile, you have a dozen losers who are all sitting there, waiting for something like this to just pounce, POUNCE I TELL YOU, so they look reasonable and moderate and likable. Christ, not a serous policy maker if we put them all together. Oh well, at least Bobby Jindal might return as the VP nominee.

  • Ricky Gay

    “Now get out of here you knucklehead. No really, get out!”

    • coozledad

      God help me I’d have skipped a house payment to watch that match on pay per view.

      • PubOption

        I’m not sure how advanced they were with Senility and Parkinson’s, but that could have been theatre of the absurd.

    • BeliTsari

      Just think what COULD’VE been? Poppy Bush would’ve been happy to commute Ali’s life sentence. We’d all be rich, from selling the Chinese PV, co-gen plants, turbines, etc. Osama would be an aging multi-billionaire in NYC and there’d be several million more old codgers whining & bitching about their autonomous fuel-cell cars and 20hr work-week?.

  • Billy Rubin

    Well, this is just so out of character; Mr. Trump is usually such a rational, thoughtful, modest, level-headed fellow. It’s good that the other GOP candidates are so smart, otherwise nobody would have caught this. Well, it was just one innocent misstep, and surely all the other pearls of wisdom he has shared will redeem his reputation. Now, as long as he doesn’t say anything else too peculiar, it should be smooth sailing from here on out.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      THEIR COMMENTS WERE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT, LIBERAL MEDIA SKUM!!!1!!11! (BTW, that was snark–I hope obvious!)

      • Antimassacree

        Exactly! As I have said from the beginning, put them in the proper context of a klan meeting and everything they say makes perfect sense.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Well, after we build all the boats to deport the Muzziez, who do you think is next?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        You need a few umlauts, and watch out for correct spelling, though “skum” was a nice choice.

      • MrBlobfish

        THE COMMENTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Mother of God….these yahoos are vying to be Leader of the Free World; they sound like a bunch of cheap tin pot dictators from some isolated, semi-literate third world banana republic.

    • FauxAntocles

      or Republicans…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Except for the “isolated” part, and maybe the bananas, you DO realize you’ve perfectly described this country, right?

      • eddi

        The Rebs have always been bananas.

    • JohnR

      Since when is the USA not a semi-literate third world shit-hole?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        We’re number eleventy seven!

        • Querolous

          We’re in the top five in executions!!!

  • The Wanderer

    He got a ringing endorsement from the Neo-Nazis. That’s a plus for Team Trump!

  • Ryan Denniston
  • BeliTsari

    “To crush your enemies — See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!” NASCAR “baby” Jesis

    Obviously, we must EAT all non-Christians® after suitable tenderization und schlaughter!

  • calliecallie

    I need a graph or something to do a projection. Trump’s Outrageous Statements rising over Time. I guess it wouldn’t be a completely smooth curve, but it does some to be rising. And influenced by the Outrageous Statements of other GOP candidates. With almost a year to go before the election, I’m wondering how they can possibly sustain it. Or where it will take us. Or both.

    • Ryan Denniston

      An exponential curve?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        A logistics curve I think. At some point Trump will burn up all the earth’s oxygen saying stupid stuff, and that serves as a limiting factor.

        • Or a logarithmic curve, even. Autocorrect strikes again!

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Well, i had an excess ‘s’, but no, the logistic curve is a real thing:

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logistic_function

          • Huh. Well now I know. I learn so much from these non-existent comments.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Everything you need to know about life, you’d learn from the Wonkette comments, if they existed.

          • Donald E Niman

            Thankth!

        • Spurning Beer

          So you’re saying that Trump is a total flaming asymptote?

        • Donald E Niman

          Okay, just say S-shaped curve. Every time I say logisthkimuth curve, it comth out all wrong and my tongue goeth numb for two hourth.

  • JustPixelz

    Trump cites a “poll” of Muslim-Americans run by Frank Gaffney(!) that includes all kinds of scary statistics about violence being justified against Americans. And yet … and yet … isn’t every supporter of the Second Amendment advocating violence against Americans in the face of “tyranny”? (c.f. Cliven Bundy)

  • sillyclucker

    Wasn’t The Martyr of Rowan County a song? No, wait. It was The Coward of the County. Never mind.

  • JohnR

    I will personally polish the Donald’s private jet on the day he drops his campaign, pulls off the mask, and declares to his supporters that it’s all been a cruel joke and they are all fired from the US of America. I know, not going to happen.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Maybe not Trupster Dumpster, but I am soooo waiting for a prominent wingnut to admit he/she’s just doing it for the easy money.

    • Randy Riddle

      I’m waiting for what is promising to be an utterly fascinating GOP convention breakdown happening in a few months.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Must watch TV. Could rival the Watergate hearings.

        • eddi

          Or the Chicago Democratic Convention riot of ’68. Blood in the halls, blood in the streets. And Trump asking, “Is Cleveland burning?”

          • SuspectedDemocrat

            With any luck they’ll take their own policies seriously and allow open carry on the convention floor.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Hard to find fun like that anymore.

          • eddi

            We danced Mamushka on the Convention Center roof!
            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CCNyHprEZK8

          • Thaumaturgist

            That was just another day for the Chcago PD.

          • bozilingus
          • artem1s

            yea, pretty much what I’ve been afraid of since we got the bid. I am so torn between fleeing the city or firing up the popcorn popper and camping out on the banks of the Cuyahoga and watching teh Donald’s brownshirts beat the crap out of Kucinich’s Millennial Fanboys and the CLE cops turn the east side into the OK Corral. Not going to be pretty.

          • eddi

            My suggestion? If you have vacation time, take it then. You can always catch the highlights on CNN. Besides, even if nothing happens you would still be stuck listening to those idiots for days on end.

          • artem1s

            It’s a plan. But then I also will likely miss the Wonkbago tour of the Great Lakes and Donna Rose.

          • eddi

            Maybe just steer clear of downtown for a day or two an see what breaks.

    • I hope, for your sake, that “polish the Donald’s private jet” is not a euphemism.

  • JustPixelz

    I am not afraid. It’s not bravado. More Americans have been killed by lightning than by terrorists this year.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      But does Obama stop lightning at the border? No, he does not!

    • Antimassacree

      Trump’s common sense will thus dictate that all rain clouds be barred from entering the country. Better to live in a safe drought than a scary, dangerous rain storm.

    • Lizzietish81

      Round up all the Zeus and Thor worshipers!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Don’t forget Indra!

        • sw19womble

          Kali, also!

          • JustPixelz

            Kali Joy? NOOOOOOOOOO!

        • Lizzietish81

          We must stop the construction of the Tesla Museum!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m shocked!

          • vivian

            AC What You Did There

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I figured it would generate a comment or two.

          • eddi

            You’re just trying to give us some static.

          • vivian

            just keeping up with current events…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That can be a hair-raising experience!

          • vivian

            Last time I did it I was grounded.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            We need to amp up these puns…my patience is getting short.

          • vivian

            Yeah, it’s gone to pot, but I just can’t resistor.

          • bozilingus

            Don’t go negative, be positive!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Ouch…that hertz.

          • data_ninja

            Watt have I stumbled upon…

          • bozilingus

            After all these puns, I need to go and meditate.

            Ohm…
            Ohm…

          • Querolous

            This country has been going downhill ever since we let the circuits integrate!!!1111íííIII

      • Werewolf

        Tlaloc says “What am I, chopped liver?”

      • John Smith

        An electrifying experience!

      • BeliTsari

        I’d thought Trump had them all, a’smiling & a’swallowing, months ago? http://www.joemygod.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/TrumpPhotoshop-660×330.jpgdPSfH7M%3A

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’ve actually been struck by lightning…twice, in fact. I can assure you that I am far more afraid of lightning than I am the terriers.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Lightning strike me once, shame on — shame on you. Lightning strike me — you can’t get lightning striked again.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          If only Dubya’s gift for tortured syntax had been there to protect me!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Anode you were going to say that.

    • Why won’t Obama say “radical lightning terrorism”?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      The lightning rod of loving correction.

  • sw19womble

    I’ve obviously become immune to Trump’s dingbat pronouncements.
    Why is everyone getting so particularly up-in-arms about this latest projectile vomit-salad?
    Especially (as Kaili has shown) given the other candidates have proven just as abhorrently, xenophobic intolerant as Trump’s blabbermouthing.

    • Lizzietish81

      For me the sad part is seeing people lap it up while bouncing their head in agreement.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        You’d think seeing your id in human form would be uncomfortable, but some people like it for some reason.

        • JustPixelz

          My id has a better haircut.

          • pstockholm

            I’ve always found my id to be very egotistical.

          • vivian

            So this is the Voter Id program the Southern states are trying to push through…

          • sw19womble

            *golf clap*

        • Lizzietish81

          Most people lack self awareness

        • The Wanderer

          And Robby won’t blast it.

        • eddi
          • bozilingus

            This picture is Forbidden. No comments allowed.

          • eddi

            Caliban just gets no respect.

          • BeliTsari

            Haven’t we had to look at Michele Fiore ENOUGH, for one week?

          • bobbert

            Always thought it looked a little like Taz.

      • JustPixelz

        I was watching Trump last night. I saw thousands and thousands of people celebrating while religious tolerance was under attack.

        • iGrover

          And what will they do when another religious faction that is even more conservative than their version is comes along? I know plenty of crazy Baptists who do not believe in dancing, smoking, drinking or gambling.

          • eddi

            “Remove your balls before entering these holy precincts.” “No girl things allowed.”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Does “Nuremberg Rally” ring a bell?

          • eddi

            They had better crowd control. And Leni Riefenstahl was a hell of a choreographer.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        This exactly. I am seeing the particularly stupid bigots, who didn’t quite “get” the winking racism spewed by the GOP establishment, those guys are now quoting T-rump as their justification for their hate speech and ramping up of their personal arsenals. Stupid, awful, hateful people that have found a stupid,awful, hateful mouthpiece.

      • BeliTsari

        Inured is NOT immune. Hitler’s entire concept of Große Lüge, is to make the outlandish, mundane… through repetition. Just copying Bernays and Lippmann (who were just amalgamating what seemed to actually work?) Disney’s day-laborers shoveled lemmings to the sharks, feeding far below. FOX/CNN, Clear Channel & Google has ’em fetch-up their own pitchforks.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    The republican base love it, and the republican elite think his only problem is mistaking a foghorn for a dog whistle.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Of course they resent Trump; he’s unapologetically mean enough to spell out clearly what all these other pinche bozos have to try to communicate to the base in code.

    • Antimassacree

      He is violating the First Rule of GOP Candidate Club.

      • sw19womble

        Nah, he’s just moved swiftly on to Project Mayhem.

    • FauxAntocles

      He threw away his dog whistle.

  • JustPixelz

    Did anyone else notice MSNBC gave Trump about 45 minutes of free air time last night? It was disgusting. Naturally that was during Hardball because Chris Matthews is A Idiot who is never prepared.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      I keep wondering about MSNBC’s propensity to give Donny free air; they do it a lot.

      However, last night I watched the Trump rally they aired: I was struck by Trump, who proved to be both a terrible speaker and campaigner.

      So, I’m kind of glad I saw the carrot topped clot of wind and hair, after all; now I know he truly sucks.

      • MrBlobfish

        That 45 minutes could have been condensed down to “I’m so great”. There was barely a complete sentence or thought and certainly no ideas besides he’ll be so good for something. Also, poll numbers.

    • Antimassacree

      I watched. I was hoping their thinking was to preclude him from saying his remarks were taken out of context. They even ‘fanned the crowd’ as Trump said they would never do that. As Trump’s message grows ever more grotesque I think it is important for us to know what he is saying. His 30-ish % of the GOP base is secured, but with exposure perhaps the rest of teh nation will see him for the dangerous fool that he is.

      • Squirrel_t_robot

        Plus, Donny is just bad at campaigning.

        He essentially stands up and spews his natural bitchery at all his perceived enemies.

        Donny could be yelling at his AM radio, really.

    • MrBlobfish

      I liked when he wondered why Sen. Graham was always on the TV. Like him or not, Graham is a powerful senator, whereas Trump, well…

    • Bad Granny

      I swear MSNBC is rooting for him to win the primary. I know I am.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Shorter Rethuglicans: “Dumb Donald, you’re supposed to be more subtle in your dog whistlin’!”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Throwing raw meat on the lawn is the only dog call Trump understands.

  • witsended

    To Donald Trump.
    Why would Muslim terrorists want to come to America where they are in danger of being shot by police officers, disgruntled workers, rednecks in fact every Tom Dick and Harry?
    Bet they feel much safer in Syria, where at least they can shelter from your bombs.

  • MrBlobfish

    Yeah. Go back to Muslimvania where you came from.

    • data_ninja

      That’s East of Allahio, right?

      • Querolous

        North of Isiilinois.

  • Randy Riddle

    Dick Cheney – “I’m shocked, shocked to find that bigotry is going on here!”
    Attorney – “Your subpoena for the war crimes trial, sir.”
    Dick Cheney – “Grrrr…”

  • Barley_Brains

    I wish the US Gubmint could undo religion on us. We are destined to live under the yoke of irrationality for the foreseeable future. Sucks.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Can we please give a singing test to people coming here too?? No more bad singers, make America sound great again.

    • Squirrel_t_robot

      Coulter demands only ‘good looking’ immigrants be allowed in the USA.

      And no fatties.

      Skeletons only, please!

      • JohnnyZhivago2

        Also no more people with funny accents.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Stinkers are right out.

        • eddi

          “Ya’ll git no arguin’ frum me” Bubba Twotooth, Wrath-O-God GA.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      OK, sir, you can come in. Welcome to America.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc

  • iGrover

    If we are going to throw out the Bill of Rights and start over then for sure the 2nd Amendment needs to go.

    • MrBlobfish

      I think you have it backwards. It will become the Bill of Right.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        The Bill of The Right.

      • Anarchy Pony

        The Bill of Might.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I think that’s the only one that stays.

      • eddi

        They will rewrite that one as well. Article 2: Get your guns and keep them closer than your womenfolk.

  • MrBlobfish

    When Trump’s fans broke into the “USA! USA! USA!” chant, I was reminded of the glory days of American/Muslim relations: Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Iron Sheik.

    • Spurning Beer

      “Iran, Number one! Russia, Number one! USA, Canada, HACK PTOOY!”

    • therblig

      who could forget “palestina” from G.L.O.W?

  • witsended

    Donald Trump calling for a ban on all Muslims entering the United States because he says they scare everyone, is not very helpful.

    Would it not be more useful if he focused on the things most of his supporters are actually afraid of, like diet and exercise.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Those two things are much more likely to kill them, also, too.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        How about literacy?

        • eddi

          They outlawed that a long time ago.

          • bozilingus

            Republicans will require an illiteracy test for white voters to vote.

          • Querolous

            A’int it the truth!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      When Cracker Barrel is outlawed, only outlaws…

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    The experts may think this is a bad idea, but thousands of screaming Trump supporters in South Carolina say it makes sense.

    So there.

    • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

      Goddamnit, South Carolina. Stop outdoing the stereotypes.

    • WIDTAP

      Not too long ago, a white Christian terrorist did a mass shooting in North Charleston, and so many good people stepped up,did goo things for their fellow citizens and even took down the Confederate Battle Flag.

      Now, so little time later, all the yahoos gather in Mount Pleasant and cheer this anal wart onward.

      You were so close to being decent human beings, South Carolina. So close.

  • eddi

    Donny jumped another shark. He is totally immune to the normal effects of outrage. Politicians normally hide behind a flag, he totally freaks out in public and dares people to call him out for it.

    • MrCanoehead

      Donald Trump is basically calling civilization’s bluff.

      “You can’t behave like that in decent society!”
      “But I just did. What now?”
      “Umm, we still take you seriously as a presidential candidate?”

  • 451 Byrnes

    Next up: “Happy Internment Malls”!

    • Thaumaturgist

      Can’t we just repurpose the FEMA camps?

      • 451 Byrnes

        Haven’t you ever SEEN “The Apprentice”?? It’s all in the branding!

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Suspend the Constitution, just until we figure out what’s going on.

    Much better than Constitution shredder Nobama!!!!!

  • The Wanderer

    Wait a doggone minute here. What the hell is that on Christ’s tunic in the header pic? The White Tree of Gondor? A Hydra? Yggdrasil?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      The little kid is pointing to where W wiped his ass on the parchment.

    • eddi

      The Tree of Life, I think. So essentially all your guesses are correct.

  • Fresh off my CorelDraw

    • BeliTsari

      Homonid LIBELS?

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Homo Hatesalot.

      • Better??

        • BeliTsari

          Zappa took “thing fish?” Putrefying pile of pustulating protoplasm?

  • diogenez

    Mr. Trump must work very hard to outdo himself with every passing day, though I suspect that the American media and public have an endless capacity for stupid – such that nothing Trump does will be “too much.”

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    We need a ban on Trump supporters until Trump himself can figure out what’s going on.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Trump’s decision to hire the SNL writing staff as his policy team is paying off.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump’s new immigration policy will allow only gold-digging eastern European proxy wives to enter.

    • sw19womble

      Will nobody think of the poor Thai brides?

  • Joe Beese

    Once Cruz rises to 30% in the Iowa polls, expect Trump to call for internment. (Of Muslims, not Cruz.)

    • Vegan and Tiara

      If Trump was calling for Cruz to be interned I’d be able to get on board with that.

      • Querolous

        Why did I read that as “be interred”?

        • Vegan and Tiara

          That would also work for me.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Meanwhile, the leaders of Daesh look at the USA’s racist pants-crapping and rub their hands together gleefully. They hardly need to do anything else at all to destroy “The West” and radicalize more young people to their cause. We’ll take care of that all by ourselves.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      We’ve spent over $2 trillion so far invading Iraq, with an additional $2 trillion in long term costs, plus another $1 trillion in homeland security, and God only knows how much in Afghanistan, so the jihadists are doing an excellent job of causing us to bankrupt ourselves.

  • edith prickly

    Come to Canada, my Muslim brothers and sisters. Our hawt prime minister welcomes you with open arms…

    • eddi

      How is he about “I don’t know and I don’t care” as a religious preference?

      • edith prickly

        I don’t recall any Jesus talk from the campaign so I think he’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of guy. And just so there’s no confusion he loves teh gheyz too.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      he is pretty hawt.

    • chascates

      I’ll convert (from atheism??!) if that’ll get me in.

  • fawkedifiknow

    When can we expect him to announce that we are going to go full Nazi and start implementing the “Final Solution”?

    • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

      Godwin’s Law! Don’t break it!

      • eddi

        The first comments nullified it.

        • zanzibar_buckbuck_mcfate

          Phew!

    • BeliTsari

      BULLSHIT, Hitler copied us! America’s FINAL solution began January 20, 1981?

      205 years earlier, for Blacks & Natives…

      • CriticalDragon1177

        Not entirely true. For the most part we tried to keep the blacks alive, but only so we could us them for slave labor.

    • BadKitty904

      GOP SOP…

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      It won’t just be the “Final Solution”, it’ll be the YOOGEST, classiest solution ever!

  • OneYieldRegular

    “The Constitution says so. Full stop.”

    Show me where in my crumpled Glenn Beck back-pocket Constitusion is sez Mislams.

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      Back in them days it would be “Mohammedan” or “Mussulmen.” But don’t look for those words, either, ’cause the guys who wrote it were all Free Masons who were practiced in the art of doing everything in sekrit codes. So it’s something like “Every 3rd letter of every 5th word of every 17th sentence of every 19th paragraph of every 43rd section of every 112th article (not counting the pre-amble, which is devoted to spelling out ‘No Ghey Marriage!’)”

  • AnOuthouse

    Suck on it GOP, he’s going to be your weiner. Can’t wait for the general.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Jeb! is apparently planning on shooting his money load on Cruz, Rubio and Carson so Jeb! and Donald can battle it out in the end. Oh, how I hope this happens. Let Jeb! pay for destroying Cruz and Rubio, and then let Trump and Bush destroy each other.

  • FlownOver

    Surely someone is at work Photoshopping his face onto a certain large green statue, and manipulating its right arm into the one-finger salute. Sadly, FlownOver (being An Old) lacks the necessary computery skills.

    • Querolous

      The actual statue is at a mega-church in TX. I just added the Donald face.

  • It’s a good idea, but it doesn’t go far enough. We ought to be keeping members of every monotheistic religion out of the country. Those fuckers are SCARY.

    • BadKitty904

      Never trust anyone who reads only one book.

      • marxalot

        Playboy and the Bible were good enough for Pappy, and they’re good enough for–

        Oh fuck, someone call the police and a social worker.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I think I’d be willing to ban all future Muslims if we could also export our own brand of crazy Christians. The world has far too many power hungry religious nuts, and I’d like to set them all down in one area with no weapons. Then they could battle for dominion over the other guys with their fists, and they could just leave the rest of us alone.

  • Mavenmaven

    When the time comes for us to have to start hiding our friends and neighbors in our closets and basements, can we organize here on Wonkette? I feel my partisan roots stirring.

    • DahBoner

      Surely Trump’s Wonderful Wonderland is The Best of All Possible Worlds, Comrade?

      https://media3.giphy.com/media/exPawvUh2jD68/200w_d.gif

    • BadKitty904

      Anne Frank, is that you?

    • BeliTsari

      OUR closets? OUR basements? Which part of the name TRUMP you missing? Imagine how Trump’s social networking solutions team (aka: NYPD) sees these threads, after the GPS, selfie-cam, IP & DNS pinpoint just WHERE we’re hiding.

    • AQuinn

      You know, it’s funny. I was just having this exact conversation with my sister this morning. She mentioned that things were getting so bizarre politically that she and her husband have broached the “what to do if shit goes down” topic and requested that I find her in that event. But I can’t let it stand. And I’d have to find others who agree, somehow.

  • MrBlobfish

    Jeb! condemns this now, but in two weeks, when he sees how well this polls, he’ll be on board with it. Same for Cruz and the rest.

    • eddi

      As soon as the fuss dies down or another unaffiliated crazy opens fire and distracts the media circus monkeys.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Cruz and his fake-sympathetic, sadsack face said that he doesn’t see any point in speaking out against Trump because so many are already doing so, and he “doesn’t see any value in adding my voice to the chorus”. Then the asswipe said we should be thankful to Herr Trump, because he was the first to point out we needed to secure our borders.
      Angling for a VP slot, Raphael?

      • MrBlobfish

        You know he is. His dicknose is firmly implanted in Trump’s anus.

  • AnOuthouse

    The funniest thing he’s said recently is that he believes that Bill Gates, the guy who thought the internet was a fad., understands the internet.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Or that he has any ability to police the internet sites at all, anyway.
      Internet, how does it work?

      • That we’re all stucking paying for porn.

        What, whut?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      His second choice? Joe the Plumber because he knows everything about tubes.

      • Boojum

        So does Jenna Jameson.

  • sw19womble

    Trump is Randall from Clerks:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qc0akWRBQk

    • Anarchy Pony

      It’s okay, we’re taking it back.

  • RI5

    Because of recent attacks, must also too ban all Christian evangelicals. Also look at self-deportation and/or FEMA camps.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    The GOP is now completely disconnected from the base, congratulations!

  • DahBoner
    • eddi

      You’re so innocent.

    • BadKitty904

      But NO Irish!

      • eddi

        Faith and begorrah!

  • BadKitty904

    Contemptible Clown Is Contemptible.

  • artem1s

    So there’s not gonna be anymore of this in Trump’s America, I guess…?
    http://edge.liveleak.com/80281E/u/u/thumbs/2013/Aug/2/b24886acad9a_sf_8.jpg

    • Vegan and Tiara

      No tongue!

      • bozilingus

        Taffeta, darling.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      And both of those people think that being gay is wrong, yet that is one of the most gay things I’ve ever seen.

  • Rotational Symmetry

    Trump, at the 2016 GOP National Convention, accepts his party’s nomination, only to reveal: It was an educational experiment all along! https://t.co/nfV0VsZPwI

    • Anarchy Pony

      If only…

    • Joe Beese

      “You all would have made great Nazis.”

      As a species, we just seem to be wired for fascism. It’s very unfortunate.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I disagree. Anthropologically speaking, our species is a cooperative animal best suited for family groupings, though with the ability to work outside the tribal unit.
        It is only when you bring money/resource competition (and thus, power) into the game that the species leans toward authoritarian dictators giving us dominion over those “others”.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Too bad we’re not more like Bonobos, then we could spend all of our time boning, and not warmongering.

          • YayConspiracy

            Even if we’re going to pretend to be bonobos, I aint going nowhere near the toupeed Trumpster.

      • marxalot

        We have a structural weakness, as a great man said: the tendency to bend at the knees.

        I think it’s the pressure of being a pattern-recognizing, problem-solving, difference-spotting brain in an endlessly complex, highly-faceted world. We just want someone to come along and draw clear categories that make sense.

        • TheOtherHeadlessThompsonGunner

          See, I came for the dick jokes (with votes . . . did I do that right?) but I’m staying for the smart words like these https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1d780f5d6d27c0e9a12a2dd2368d9cbe98cbf300894ac2b37a3615143c1e910.jpg from the Wonkets who live in my computer.

          OT: William Gibson’s novel Pattern Recognition is a good ‘un. Wonky and suspenseful and wry and poignant.

        • DemmeFatale

          If you haven’t already seen it, David Eagleman’s series, “The Brain” on PBS is fascinating. Especially episode 5. (I tried to get the link, but it won’t play.)
          He thinks we should take a scientific look at the brain to see why we are capable of “sub-humanizing” a group of people.

    • Boojum

      He would have to appear by TV from an undisclosed location or they would rip him apart.

  • GDleftyPart2

    That whole “let’s embrace our lunatic fringe to beat the black guy” mentality seems to be working out really, really well for the GOTP and the RNC folks…
    Nice job Mr. Rove, good luck getting that genie back in the bottle.

  • Cheesus Crust

    Running out of the snarkz at the end there, huh Kaili – “This is not Constitutional you backwards ass, fuckface clowns!”

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Say, you know who else wanted to deny the rights of promise, just these particular citizens and no one else, wink wink, nudge nudge?
    Aw fuck it. Screw you, Trump, you are no longer worth snark, only scorn.

  • SadDemInTex

    I have read a great deal of pre-war (WWI) popular fiction (mostly British). The casual rascism that abounds in those books was mind boggling (was, not is). The fact that it exists today in America and is anything but casual is frightening. Trump is the unbridled id of America. The terror is that not only has this pustule on the American ass burst there is a chance that it will be elected. The horror that would be unleashed upon America and the world does not bear thinking about.

  • Sgt. Gym Bunny

    “…we don’t want to have a situation like Paris. And we don’t want to have another World Trade Center…

    But another San Bernardino, another PP Colorado Springs, another Columbine, another VTech, another Newtown, another Isla Vista, another Chattanooga, another Navy Yard, another Fort Hood, another Aurora–ad nauseum–gets the okey doke. Priorities, priorities…

    • Cheesus Crust

      Freedumbz, ya know… Our god given, 2A secured right to be mowed down wherever we are, by whatever asshole has a grudge that day. ‘Merica – fuck yeah.

      • Bitter Scribe

        As long as it’s a Christian asshole.

  • janecita

    Could Jeff Bezos follow through with his great idea of sending Trump into out space? He could convince him to visit the Blue Origin rocket, with the promise of a fourth, mail ordered bride.

    • Roadstergal

      There are no Moooslims on Mars.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Trump is very clever. His “No Muslims” policy will resonate with millions of uninformed, ignorant, terrified Americans who, even if they realize the policy is unconstitutional, actually do wish all the Moslems would leave the US and no more be allowed to enter. I hear this wish expressed by locals almost every day. Some of them may vote for Trump because of this, and he knows it.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I think you give him too much credit to say clever though. Who does not know that appealing to the base fears of the ignorant will get them on your side?
      At this point in the game, there is no one who has not decided either for or against Trump, saving the diehards who would sooner vote Satan than anyone with a D. He’s just being an ass to ramp up his poll numbers, that wobbled a bit this week, and that is all.
      Next week, when they wobble again, he will say something even more outrageous.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are probably right, as I don’t think he is clever at all, but he has clever advisors. I could introduce you to at least 50 people in my subdivision of 110 families who secretly agreed with Trump, but were reluctant to say so in public, who today might feel a bit more in sympathy with Trump because he came out and said what they secretly thought. On the other hand, a few of them might change their minds, thinking “Gosh, Trump and I agree on something? Then I must be wrong.”

  • UnsaltedSinner

    It’s not like we didn’t see this coming. Driftglass has been using this video for a while now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29Mg6Gfh9Co

  • Bitter Scribe

    Trump has said he’ll form a third party if he’s not “treated fairly” by the Republicans (by which I assume he means, doesn’t get the nomination). I hope he does and takes all of his asshole bigot supporters with him. It’ll make Hillary even more of a lock.

    • Notreelyhelping

      I’m wondering if that has been the plan with this move, that he’d out-fascist the fascist-lite and then break away. That is assuming they’re planning anything 15 minutes ahead.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Say you know who else…

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Trump, didn’t your teacher tell you how your supposed to raise your hand? Unless you think this is the third reich, you’re doing it wrong.

  • chicken thief

    I like that ‘Kasich4Us’! I am pronouncing it correct – Kasich for you’s, right?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Cruz4yins
      ICarly4yall
      Carson4derp

  • clubseal

    “Constitution? What’s that?”
    – The Republican field

  • Callyson

    Related:

    Philly Newspaper Cover Depicts Donald Trump As The New Hitler (PHOTO)

    Indeed…

    /FFS

  • Athirson

    Even more hilarious was Paul Ryan’s doublespeak this morning, saying “This is not who we are”. It is. Oh yes, it is

    • Villago Delenda Est

      EXACTLY who Rethuglican scum are.

    • Antimassacree

      Poor Miss Lindsey is shocked (shocked!) that his party’s front-runner is a race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot. Funny, I thought Fox News was the only channel they have on at the Flying J.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Press release from Daesh:

    “We award Donald Trump the Sterling Crescent for his outstanding efforts on behalf of Allah the Merciful and the Just, and our cause.”

  • btwbfdimho

    Speaking of Armerica, more than 20 million weapons sold during 2015. Is our childrens safer than eight years ago?
    http://www.newsweek.com/fbi-record-background-checks-401256

  • Billy Croissant

    As the Trumpenfuhrer publicly explores the edges of his psychoses, more and more of the once semi-covert elements of conservatism – racism, xenophobia, exclusiveness, a profound lack of empathy – are becoming exposed. The serious Republican candidates (and the GOP base) are going to have to address these elements, now that they’re in the open. In a very very narrow sense, Trump is doing the GOP a favor…the way a tumor forces someone to go to the doctor.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Yes, but unfortunately far too many Americans don’t realize its a tumor right now.

      • OneDemin EOr

        They think that extra swelling in their brains is somehow attractive.

        • CriticalDragon1177

          I think they think they think it makes them smarter. They think getting hit on the head and killing their brain cells makes them smarter.

    • Ducksworthy

      Racism is not a flaw in the Republican Party, its a feature.

      • Zhu Bajie

        Racism is the national sin and few of us are free of it.

  • Enfant Terrible

    So Geert Wilders’s family trip to Disney World is still on?

    • CriticalDragon1177

      I’m certain that Geert Wilders is pleased with Trump and has his fingers crossed that he gets elected, and may well be planning on moving over here if he does.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Trump and his supporters feed each other like a pusher with heroin and his regular customers. One of his “stupidity addicts” was interviewed by CNN.
    When asked if she supported bombing the families of suspected ISIS fighters, she said, “Of course! They are just going to reproduce and spread their beliefs!”
    Um, yeah, kinda like fundamentalist Christianity and bigotry in the U.S.

  • Joe Beese
    • Zhu Bajie

      US governments have been slaughtering gooks and ragheads and spics and spooks for the whole of my 60+ years. The number must reach the 10s of millions by now. Nobody in the USA cares too much, so long as their egos are stroked by the excuses.

  • w9anthimos

    Trump supporters, new definition: the Trumpenproletariat.

  • RoyalUglyDude
  • Antimassacree

    Particularly chilling in Trump!’s speech last night was his appeal to “common sense.” What a handy rhetorical device to appeal to base instincts and usher in tyranny of a frightened majority.

  • rx2
    • BetsyBleedingheart

      Oh what the everloving fuck.

    • I think that horse has already left the barn.

    • Hardly Ideal

      He may as well recruit Megaman.exe for the task. He’s living in as much of a fantasy either way.

  • Tendernob

    I propose mandatory registration for all Trump supporters.

  • TheBidenator

    Who was it that wrote to me that Trump is bad but not exactly a fascist like George Lincoln Rockwell? ‘Policies’ like this prove Trump IS a fascist, he’s just not a National Socialist and yes there is a difference..

    • Duke

      And that is…..

      • BeliTsari

        Nazi’s utilized nativistic hatred, displacement & projection of soul-dead inbred churls, devoid of self esteem to inure them into savage sadists… Mussolini just made the trains run on time & handed-out sexy uniforms.

        Back in the hippy days, liberals said we over-utilized use of the F-word…
        what a bunch of MORANS!

    • YayConspiracy

      Trump should come up with a chant that people can yell at his speeches. Perhaps something like ‘See Kyle’.

      • Querolous

        “Seek oil”

    • Zhu Bajie

      The label does not matter. The deeds matter.

  • TheBidenator

    Really I worry about the mental health of the idiots who support this man and clap like trained seals to him- maybe we ought to take their guns away just to be safe.

    • Hardly Ideal

      The thing that bakes my brain is I’m related to one of those guys, and yet he’s a total math nerd. Like, the kind of guy who’d get a kick out of a t-shirt with the Pi symbol written in it’s digits.

      Still trying to figure out how someone so smart can be so dumb.

    • clubseal

      Seals take offense.

  • YayConspiracy

    Trump’s best buddy is Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

  • Axomamma

    Speaking of Kim Davis, what’s happening with her and the marriage licenses?

  • Walter Wellstone

    I watched Rachel Maddow’s show last night. She showed footage of Trump supporters being interviewed about their hero’s latest words of wisdom. Not one of them even suggested that what Trump said about banning Muslims from entering the country was outrageous. Not a single one of them. As I watched, all I could think was “These motherfuckers are evil. They may look normal and even pleasant if you run into them on the street but that’s just a facade. They’re evil pieces of shit and they have all come together behind this Trump motherfucker.”

    Rachel then said something interesting. She said Trump may be sabotaging his own campaign to make sure he doesn’t win. I’ve always said the only thing Trump wants out of this is air time. He’s the only product his company sells (it doesn’t even own many of the buildings that bear the company logo) and he needs the free marketing. His new book is out and he needs to sell it. I’ve always thought that he would resign an hour after being inaugurated if he actually won and that he would then say he ran for President–and won–just to prove that he could do it.

    • Zhu Bajie

      You’ve heard of the banality of evil? Now you’ve met it.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Besides being unconstitutional, racist, unethical, and plain icky, I don’t suppose he’s offered any estimated costs to implement this, particularly when we’d supposedly be deporting illegal aliens. Nor has he offered estimates of business impacts, particularly with OPEC countries.

    But then, it’s unnecessary: the whole thing’s fucking stupid.

    • Boojum

      Mexico will pay for it.

  • richardgrabman

    Trump’s Immigration and Naturalization Service:

  • iGrover

    Here we go.

  • Playonwords

    A really Interesting Blog post from John Scalzi on Trump. I’ll extract some elements but it is very well worth while reading in it’s entirety. ‘Trix might want to contact him about republishing.

    Eight Things About Donald Trump

    1. Without offering this up as an excuse — it’s rather the opposite — I don’t think Trump planned to become the face of 21st century American fascism. I suspect rather strongly that he entered the presidential race for the usual reasons that Trump does anything publicly, i.e., for the publicity and the long-term brand benefits that accrue. He said outrageous things and when they gave him a boost, he kept on going in that direction, because why wouldn’t he, and here we are. Of course Trump is going to escalate his rhetoric, because that’s what he needs to do to keep the focus on him, and to starve the other competitors for the GOP nomination of the spotlight, forcing them off the stage.

    __________________________________

    3. Fundamentally Donald Trump doesn’t give a shit about anyone other than Donald Trump, and while this is obvious to anyone who knows anything about Trump for the last thirty years … /snip

    __________________________________

    6. Lindsey Graham today has been calling out Donald Trump, calling him “a race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot,” which is correct, and I absolutely applaud him for saying so. He’s also saying that Trump “doesn’t represent my party,” which is, unfortunately, not correct at all. Again, Trump has been leading the GOP polls almost without interruption for months. He’s not an outlier. He’s there for a reason. The reason is that the GOP has made space in their party for race-baiting xenophobic religious bigots, and has done so for years by conscious and intentional strategy. Trump did not bring his supporters into the GOP. They were already there. I strongly suspect Graham knows it. The GOP wasn’t always the party of race-baiting xenophobic religious bigots — there’s a reason the term was “Dixiecrat” and not “Republidixies” — but they took possession of them 50 years ago and have been banking on them ever since.

    I wish the whole thing could be cut and pasted here, but that would be, most definitely, plagiarism without Scalzi’s explicit consent. Read the post at the link – please

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Thanks for the link. Good analysis.

    • BeliTsari

      We figured out the whole Trump thing elsewhere, below. He’s set ~30 million cranked- up, inbred goobers on all the OTHERS, who’ll now somehow, have to scurry across the Hudson to keep from being shot, with Freedom Group .223 rifles. YOOJE idea! Some few will be able to afford their new multi-million dollar ghetto homes. Just KNEW it was about the money all this time?

      • Notreelyhelping

        Year 0 starts in January 2017?

        • BeliTsari

          I ran there to get away from fracking, but as a old, prole honky; too poorly dressed to be gay & LIVES off of crawfish boudin & hog-maw. Guess I’ll see you at WalMart’s YOOJE-ass abattoirs?

      • clubseal

        Velveeta libels!!!11!

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I love the article (Why do people keep saying Trump doesn’t believe what he says?) but I want to comment on the great graphic at the top of the article.
    My favorite part of the painting is Lincoln singing “Mammy.”
    Why does the Black soldier have to stand in the back?

    • Zhu Bajie

      Why? They wish and hope he’s not serious, just as they wish and hope that global warming isn’t real.

  • John

    We all know that the Constitution doesn’t apply to THE DONALD Mr. Trump. Why, because he ran several successful businesses into the ground and his daddy only gave him $1,000,000.00 but he was able to parlay that into more money, because he’ll make ‘MERICA GREAT! (It says so on his hat).

    BTW, I actually Trump is a giant piece o donkey shit and I really, really wish he would read this article so he can see that not ALL people love him as much as his twenty-something-odd wives.

    • Boojum

      By that you mean his odd wives who are 20-something?

    • Ignatius

      Constitution doesn’t apply to Obama either.

  • whitroth

    I see today that Trump “might have supported” the roundup of Japanese-Americans during WWII. So, Mr. Trump, would you also have supported what we did, refusing a visa to Anne Frank’s dad, who wanted to come here with his family?

    Anyway, sieg heil, y’all.

    mark

  • Bill Slider

    Oh good, France, Great Britain, the White House and JEB! are calling for the Donald’s head. Must stock up on popcorn.

  • Hardly Ideal

    By the gods, at least Hitler had the redeeming quality of being a mediocre painter.

    • Tansy Geek

      And a trend setting mustache too.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Swiped it from Chaplin.

        • Tansy Geek

          I should be ashamed that I forgot that.

  • Apple Scruff

    I love how it’s basically taken these douche canoes nearly 4 months to denounce something Trump has said because they’re all so afraid of him. And they only did it because they saw the rest of the pack doing it and thought it was safe.

    Their lack of condemnation is partially to blame for why he’s gotten so far to begin with. I’m enjoying this shit show, to be honest (I support any and all reasons to whip out the MJ popcorn gif.)

  • Zhu Bajie

    Perhaps “Christians Only” is meant to exclude Catholics and the Orthodox Church as well.

    • Rasilom

      Well Duh, everyone knows that the Catholic and Orthodox Sects aren’t real Christians, they are just cults, that must be banned, cause Jeebus don’t luv em, and freedum, and crapitalism, and uh Oh yeah PATRIOTIC UNDERWEAR!!!

  • Notreelyhelping

    Well…I don’t think we can count on Trump closing Gitmo first thing. Unless it’s not big enough.

    • Boojum

      He’ll make it YOOOOGE!

      • Notreelyhelping

        Yeah, no kidding.

  • Kerry Day

    Instead of a religious test to run for president, how about a basic civics test? I am serious: it has gotten to the point where anyone running for the Oval Office ought to be required to pass a test covering the constitution and the bill of rights,and demonstrate high school graduates knowledge of these documents before they can register to run,

    • Boojum

      Or take the test naturalized citizens have to take.

  • Swampgas_Man

    REALLY not looking forward to the Facebook and local letters to the editor on this.

  • Mcflyer54

    TRUMP – Making America GRATE.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Making America IRATE

    • Boojum

      Making America HATE

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Making America White Again.

  • bardgal

    I’m sorry, but the TEAGOP seeded, nurtured, and MADE this Xenophobic Monster Mob™ that is now the Republican party. They need to OWN it, and FIX IT.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Acknowledge a mistake? That will never happen.

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  • Lily412

    Kaili, didn’t you used to write for Jezebel? Regardless, welcome to Wonkette.

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