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Newsweek's gift to posterity
Newsweek’s gift to posterity

So here’s one heck of a surprise: Most of our deleted comments this week are about the Paris terrorist attacks, and the subsequent mass pants-soiling by Republican governors, Republican presidential candidates, and the truly rank Republican rank & file over the prospect that ISIS operatives might choose to sneak into America as a refugee. Never mind that only a really dumb terrorist would try lying their way through an 18 to 24-month screening process instead of choosing the more expedient method of flying in on a tourist visa, which requires far less scrutiny.

Let’s start with Brave Patriotic Patriot “Solution1776,” who was completely dumbfounded that we could even think of criticizing Republican governors who only wanted to keep their citizens safe:

WTF…..are you kidding me. The author of this article wants muslim refugees. I am sorry, it is NOT OUR FUCKING JOB to take in radical muslims. I bet he would be singing a different tune if those ‘refugees’ were moving next door to him. Fucking hypocrite.

After gently tapping him with the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi), we left that comment up, and as we replied at the time, we had to admit that he inspired us:

As it happens, I live in Boise Idaho, about a block away from an office that serves refugees. My son has volunteered in a program that teaches English to refugees. Thanks to your asshole comment, you’ve done some good, maybe: On my next day off, I’m swinging by the refugee agency to see what volunteer opportunities they have.

Sadly, we’ll confess we actually spent our next day off doing laundry, but we have another day off coming up right soon, so we promise to drop by the refugee center. In clean clothes, even. Solution1776 had moar thoughts on the Refugee Threat:

  • [In reply to the inevitable “You seem nice”:] I am nice, but we true Americans are getting fed up with this crap.
  • You people really are sick. I mean, really fucking sick. You are just like your master Obama……you really want to destroy America. You make me and my fellow Americans sick. You are not Americans, you are traitors. The millions of soliders who died to protect your rights to spew this vile shit mean nothing to you, do they. Fuck off…..I hope you all get beheaded by an Islamic terrorist. I hope they move to your neighborhood and implement Shari’a law. Why don’t you all move out of this country if you hate it so much. You sick fucking people.
  • We are at a crossroads……there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are. Don’t you people study history? Know anything about Mao and China?
  • If you hate America……there is the boat. Bye.
  • True Americans respect the Constitution, respect the lives sacrificed for maintaining our rights, cares about and protects their neighbors, works hard to make something of themselves, tries to do what’s right. Got it now?

We learn so much from our deleted commenters! For instance, China went communist after Mao brought in a lot of Muslim refugees, and that caring about our neighbors only means the ones who are exactly like us, and that idiot from Nazareth who thought our neighbor is any fellow human in trouble was a sick liberal piece of shit traitor who wanted to sell out Judea to the filthy Samaritans.

Another reader, “Ge off” (who either has trouble with his spacebar or found “get off” too risqué for Disqus) objected that we were LYING about this national festival of paranoia and xenophobia, which is merely a big word liberals made up:

Why is common sense so hated by progressives? Texas never said they were afraid and their stance does nothing to help ISIS. The only real fact is that many ISIS members are Sunni and Syrians.

The real question is, why you think being nice to ISIS will pacify them?

You mean to say that Greg Abbott didn’t actually say “I am banning Syrian immigrants (which I actually lack the power to do) because I know it will sell well to my constituents, who have been freaking out about Muslims for years now”? Wonkette regrets the error. We could point out that we’re calling for our benighted nation to be nice to the victims of ISIS, but “Ge off” would only look at us with that blank confused head-tilt that’s adorable on a pug, but less so on a person.

“Chuck Cap” was far more succinct in his criticism:

Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.

Guess maybe you did, sunshine.

“CLAUDIA LAJOIE,” a brave lady who is not afraid of anything and who likes her caps locked, like her brain, upbraided us for our unfair suggestion that people were reacting out of fear. She then proceeded to explain that if we had any sense, we’d be very afraid:

HOW dare you imply the states refusing Syrian immigrants are cowards? Who raised you, aren’t you Americans!!!!? Go ahead put as many of these killers YOU can in your home! Do you really believe when ISIS itself trys to destroy your home that these immigrants living in your home will be on your side?

In case you’ve forgotten the illustration what ran with the piece, here are some of those killers who must never cross our threshold:

They look pretty dangerous, all right.
They look pretty dangerous, all right.

We received about seven bejillion similar comments, and intend to return to them in a later post, but for now, we’ll close with a non-deleted commenter, one “pumpkinspiceheroincat,” who will get away this time with a Very Stern Warning. In reply to Our Editrix’s post about the Topeka city councilman who was arrested because he only abused his 16 kids a little tiny bit, pumpkinspiceheroincat wrote,

You guise have never heard of the Quiverfull movement and the trend of rehoming foreign born adopteds (The Child Exchange)? That’s so cute.

We’ll go with Yr Editrix’s reply, from the Sekrit ChatCave:

Rebecca: this commenter should be banned just for being a noob.

Rebecca: US LIBEL. You should give him a warning in deleted comments. FOR BEIN RONG.

What Yr Editrix is getting at here is that if you’ve read Wonket for any length of time, you’d know we’ve been mocking the quiverfulls since pretty much forever. And, yes, we may have mentioned “rehoming” once or twice or nearly twenty times in the last year alone. If you’re new here, pumpkinspiceheroincat, we even have a “search” button and everything! (it’s in the upper-right corner of your Wonket page, with the little magnifying-glass icon), so you could look to see if we’ve covered something.

Yeesh, do we have to teach you ignorant muckerfuckers EVERYTHING about goddamn netiquette?

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  • Tallmutha

    Who goes onto an unfamiliar website to scream and yell and point to themselves saying “I AM A IDIOT AND PANTSSHITTING COWARD”?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You’d be surprised, apparently.

      • Tallmutha

        I know, I know… AOT, K.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The new snappy comeback to smartypants bleeding heart libs seems to be “how many refu…er, terrorists are you taking into your home?” I’ve been asked this, like 6 times. Haven’t had anyone hope that I get beheaded, though. I must be doing it wrong.

    • Mr Corrections

      I get that one a bit, but mostly I just get told that I hate White Christian Americans.

      • H0mer0

        is that a problem?

        • Mr Corrections

          Apparently!

    • Zippy

      “how many refu…er, terrorists are you taking into your home?”

      How many of those homeless vets that you’re so concerned about have you taken in?

      *mic drop*

  • Michael Loraine

    Wait a minute, the was a “Mass Pants Soiling” and I wasn’t invited?

    • It was “invitation only”

      Next time, get in line and buy tickets.

      • H0mer0

        not buy tickets and get into the pile?

        • nmmagyar

          Piles are a horrible disease.

    • They told me I was disqualified from participating.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Well maybe next time you’ll deign to wear some pants!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    …[W]e even have a “search” button and everything! (it’s in the upper-right corner of your Wonket page, with the little magnifying-glass icon), so you could look to see if we’ve covered something.

    I’m pretty sure that Wonkette has never covered My Little Pony. Why haven’t you heard of My Little Pony?

    • PubOption

      Beware of Rainbow Daesh!

  • cousin itt

    “Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.”

    *blushes*

    • nmmagyar

      Falls under the category of “No shit, Sherlock”

      • H0mer0

        “…refugee-hugging bunch of queers…”

        and your point would be?

        • Suttree

          They don’t know but they keep acting like that’s a bad thing.

    • nothingisamiss

      I wish we could talk about Sarah Palin. Maybe that’d learn us.

    • schmannity

      Like the hat on your new avatar.

    • one_who_wanders

      I think that should go into the site description.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    A Vitter, a shitter, and a quitter walk into a bar…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And the bartender says, “Alone again, Dave?”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ding, ding,ding..

      • nothingisamiss

        *CLAPPING LOUDLY*

    • Greg Comlish

      Dave Vitter is the preeminent Vitter and, if rumors are true, he is a very competitive Shitter. But a Quitter? That’s more like Sarah Palin turf.

      • malsperanza

        Well, he just announced he’s not seeking reelection to the Senate. Hard to say if that’s quitting or just acknowledging that campaigning would be a huge waste of time.

  • whatwhomever

    I was unaware that being against constant pant-shitting and bed-wetting was going to destroy America.

    • zerosumgame0005

      TED NUGENT LIBEL!!!
      thank gawd you didn’t mention his taste for little girls!

  • marxalot

    So, by refusing to be afraid, I have let the Home of the Brave down and now must leave. I understand.
    Can I finish my degree first?

    • Anarchy Pony

      The cognitive dissonance is staggering.

      • nmmagyar

        I wish it was painful

        • whatwhomever

          I wish it was physically debilitating.

        • Suttree

          It’s painful for me.

    • janecita

      No, you can not!!! But I hear that college is free in Germany, you might wanna give it a try.

  • whatwhomever

    It’s a fact that any of us are far more likely to be shot to death by one of our fellow Americans than to be killed by an Islamic terrorist. It’s also a fact that we, as a country have decided not to give a shit about being shot by our fellow Americans, as illustrated by our total unwillingness to do even the tiniest thing about this problem. OK, fine, if that’s the way it is, so be it, but could we at least be equally apathetic about the much, much smaller risk of the terrists a-comin’ ta git us?

  • Lot_49

    “True Americans respect the Constitution, respect the lives sacrificed for maintaining our rights, cares about and protects their neighbors, works hard to make something of themselves, tries to do what’s right. Got it now?”

    Yep, I gots it.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Truth is, that wouldn’t describe most people who constantly complain about someone not being a “true American”

      • Incoming Ham

        “No true American…”

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Man Wonkette is good at bringing out the wingnut rage!

    • whatwhomever

      it’s one of its most endearing features – that, and the dick jokes.

      • SterWonk

        I enjoy the lack of comments. Everyone knows, you should never read the comments section.

  • malsperanza

    I’ve just been reading about Dr. Ben Carson’s skill in performing hemispherectomies. Apparently people can survive with only half a brain. The trick is: you have to leave at least half a brain in there.

    • pumpkinspiceheroincat

      <–living proof
      *slinks off to noobs table*

      • MsAnthropesMr

        THe noobs table is nice, but they only have juice, nothing harder to drink.

        • Biff52

          Participation ribbons and a juice box!

      • BloviateMe

        The hazing ritual is about what you’d expect from a “refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.”

        Don’t fight it, and it will be over before you know it.

        • pumpkinspiceheroincat

          To be honest, the reply was aimed at the commentariat, not the writer of the article. Having a metric fuckton of kids has been Catholic doctrine since about 300 AD, but after reading through the comments, it didn’t appear that some were aware that one particular movement was taking it to an extreme and doing more harm than good. Then the snark part of my brain (the only part that’s left since THE POINT whooshed over my skull and shaved off the top part) took over.

          Actually, finding this website has been the best thing that’s happened in the last two weeks, SO I’LL TAKE MY BEATING AND LIKE IT.

          • marxalot

            Smile, dammit! Smile like you mean it!

          • Vegan and Tiara

            As a warning – after we beat you in, you can’t get out. It’s a real strict “blood in, blood out” policy around this site. Which is kind of weird considering it’s a mommyblog/recipe hub website.

          • SnarkTank

            We snark, but we don’t bite. Unless you ask nicely.
            .
            The safe word is “antidisestablishmentarianism”.

      • SterWonk

        Well played. :-)

      • malsperanza

        Well, hi there, and welcome. Not too many newbies get the full harsh interrogation techniques right off the bat. Now that the waterboarding is over, it’s all catnip and pumpkin spice lattes.

        Well, cheap beer in cans, anyway.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    When is the Cliven Bundy Brigade leaving for their deployment against ISIS?

    • SK

      ..and taking his cattle with ’em.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Uh, that would be “our” cattle. The feds wimped out from repossessing them.

        • SK

          Parting gifts. Let ’em go.

          • CriticalDragon1177

            Don’t be cruel to the cows and give PeTA an actual good reason to get mad at us. Their entire joke of a militia, and anyone who goes with them is going to get brutally slaughtered by ISIS. Cliven Bundy and his “warriors” will probably use the cattle as living shields, when they realize that they can’t scare ISIS terrorists with their guns like they could with the US government, and that’s cruelty to animals.

          • gene108

            Technically they are not scaring the U.S. government with their guns. The U.S. government is scared that bum rushing the mofo will inspire another Timothy McVeigh type terrorist attack.

            The two Bundy ranch flunkies who killed the cops in Las Vegas were nuts enough.

            No need to inspire others.

            And yes, the U.S. government is scared enough of potential violent right-wing terrorism they are backing down.

            That’s white privilege in a “shot gun shell.”

            You better believe any other group used violence like white conservatives have done and may do in the future those groups would be hunted down and erradicated.

          • CriticalDragon1177

            White Privilege in a shot gun shell. That’s a good one.

  • TheBidenator

    What I’m hearing is Editrix and Dok have never heard of Republicans and as a Wonkette noob this makes me angry…read a book!

    • SK

      Trump’s or Carson’s?

      Because I am not reading Bristol’s book. I just am NOT!!!!

      • TheBidenator

        I will if it has nekkid pics of her in it…no, no, bad Bidenator! Bad!

        • whatwhomever

          you don’t need to read her book to see her nekkid – a few wine coolers will get you the real thing, apparently.

          • Rasilom

            Man I wouldn’t touch her with somebody elses John Thomas.

        • Suttree

          I’m trying to eat dinner over here.

        • janecita

          Eww dude, she is pregnant 90% of the time!

          • Zippy

            Gotta hit that window. I’d set a Google Alert for ‘when is Barstool not preggo’

          • FauxAntocles

            And that’s a problem?

          • janecita

            Whatever tickles your pickle! Who am I to judge?

        • nmmagyar

          Meh – I saw the nekkid pics of Levi. That was enough for me

    • Zippy

      WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!1!

      • Duckbudder

        Quitting time already?

  • TheBidenator

    I love the stuff that brings out the worst wingnut hatred: questioning their tough guy credentials and I love that Bamz has gotten the Howler monkeys in full shit flinging mode by saying that pissing yourself over a bunch of widows and children makes you less than tough….

    • AnOuthouse

      I got one name calling spittin’mad on a friend’s faceplace yesterday. They start out as self professed know it all and degenerated into calls to stock up on ammo. It was fun.

    • SpideySenser

      Kinda sorta like those Cliven Bundy guys who were going to put the women out in front of the “men” (used loosely) when the gubmint showed up. And was it not John Wayne, our master of testosterone, who did not engage in WWll yet many other Hollywood and sportsball dudes and ladies did?

  • Callyson

    We are at a crossroads……there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are. Don’t you people study history? Know anything about Mao and China?

    IDK about Mao, but China has some happening clubs FYI…

    • malsperanza

      The only reason China has fun and parties today is that we went in with troops back in the sixties and overthrew the Communists.

      Right? Right?

    • kaw143

      Of course I know about Mao and China. Take it away, Professor Ivan!

      • Playonwords

        No need for the embed code, the straight youtu . be share is fine

        https://youtu.be/5fSxT2Gc2s8

        • kaw143

          Ah, thanks for that! I am a old and don’t internets good, sometimes. (Just in case you couldn’t figure that out given the age of the song. . .)

  • malsperanza

    Admittedly, the difference between terrorists and the victims of terrorists is hard for wingnuts to grasp. Witness their embrace of David Koresh, Randy Weaver, and Cliven Bundy. Witness their endless excuses for McVeigh and Dylan Roof.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Outstanding list of patriots!

    • gene108

      To be fair, Weaver, McVeigh and Roof, were standing up for the white man’s ever shrinking rights, like Bundy still is.

      I am not sure if Koresh was really into white supremacy, like the others.

      Edit: They were not trying to overrun the country with Muslim terrorists.

  • TheBidenator

    “True Americans respect the Constitution, respect the lives sacrificed for maintaining our rights, cares about and protects their neighbors, works hard to make something of themselves, tries to do what’s right. Got it now?”

    I sure do, which is why I am in favor of bringing in a lot more than 10,000 refugees which acts in accordance with the Constitution (which is pro immigration and written by immigrants) and protects our neighbors (Syrian refugees trying to escape likely death) while I work hard to make something of myself which I know that all they want is a chance to do the same…

    • kaw143

      Oh, there you go, bringing up those parts of the Constitution that aren’t the 2nd Amendment, or the part that says nothing about the Supreme Court being able to legalize gay marriage and abortions, therefore, they should all be impeached, again. Why do you hate America so much?

  • Greg Comlish

    The Mass Pants Soiling was perfectly timed for Dave Vitter’s election day, and Vitter’s failure to capitalize on America’s crapped pants is ultimately what doomed his campaign.

    • Zippy

      he definitely ran a shitty campaign…

      • LarkintheAM

        He’s a shitty excuse for a human being – what other kind of campaign could he run?

    • AnOuthouse

      He has more time to spend with his hookers and fellow fetish enthusiasts.

    • Biff52

      Solidarity!

  • Suttree

    I have been called a lot of things in my time, and I believe muckerfucker is pretty spot on.

    • Playonwords

      Allow me to introduce you to the muckerfucker – David Truscott

      via the BBC
      A man with a cow slurry fetish has been jailed for five years after threatening to kill a family who tried to stop him targeting their farm.

      David Truscott, 44, repeatedly rolled around naked in cow slurry and developed an obsession with a farm in Redruth, Cornwall.

      • Suttree

        I was going with the definition of mucker as a rough or course person. I am not into cow poop. tyvm

  • Callyson

    their stance does nothing to help ISIS

    Actually, Ge Off, ISIS wants the West to hate refugees. Texas et al are playing directly into the hands of the violent extremists.

    You’re welcome.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      I know, ISIS wants the Syrian refugees to be so desperate that they join their ranks, instead of heading to western nations like the United States, where they can be safe and free from their tyranny. They actually want western countries to be Islamophobic so they can claim that we’re at war with Islam and turn the entire Middle East, as well as every single Muslim majority country in the world against us.

  • amindofitsown

    “Theirs only room on this planit for one groop of religious zealots, not no towelheads!”

  • Callyson

    Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site

    Yet another good band name from the wingnuts. Thanks, Chuck Cap!

  • Callyson

    Do you really believe when ISIS itself trys to destroy your home that these immigrants living in your home will be on your side?

    Um…yes, because the refugees are desperately trying to save their lives by getting the fuck away from ISIS?

    Logic, how the fuck does it work again?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Not at all for these folks, Cally.

    • AnOuthouse

      They have insidious plan to destroy every economically depressed shit hole in the boonies.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Wait…I thought that was the GOP’s plan?

  • btwbfdimho

    Speaking of, Kennedy was killed a day like today, in Dallas, Tx. The local paper printed this ad, that same morning. http://i385.photobucket.com/albums/oo293/ificandream2/kennedy-treason-poster.jpg

    • janecita

      Change the picture, and the ad could be about Obama. Freaking wingnuts, their stupidity is everlasting.

    • nothingisamiss

      Thanks for this. I don’t know how I managed to miss this. Stunning example of how we do not learn from history.

    • SterWonk

      IF that’s real (don’t believe everything you seen on the Internet), THEN the most head-scratching thing on there (for me at least) is referring to Cuba as a friend…?

      • marxalot

        I assume they’re talking about the pre-Revolutionized Cuba? I mean, by then it was gone, but they can still talk about it, right?

      • bupkus23

        Did you know that that wanted poster pre-dates the Internet by a couple of decades? The Warren Commission investigated it, back in the day, attributed it to Robert Surrey, an aide to disgraced General Erwin Walker ( fired for distributing John Birch Society literature to US Army under his command ) – but determined that the flyer, while offensive, did not constitute a threat.
        Check out PBS’s 2007 “American Experience” episode, titled “Oswald’s Ghost – which is available online

        • SterWonk

          Good to know, thanks!

    • EmmettGrogan

      JFK was trying to shut down the CIA and the Federal Reserve. He was also trying to end the Vietnam fiasco without going full on war mode. He also tried to shut down the Mafia, who are now currently running, along with others, our worldwide child sex slavery machine, not to mention his advocacy of exploring outer space. Oh yeah, he was a traitor. If he had been allowed to remain prez, we would have a much different America now, not the one we have where wingnuts dont want any ferreners who are 5 y.o.

    • marxalot

      Where exactly is Katanga, anyway?

      • Amy!

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_of_Katanga

        Interesting episode, it seems. Part of the whole collapse of colonialism era (rather like Vietnam, in that way).

        • FlownOver

          Wonket, where ALL IS KNOWN. Doubt it at your peril.

      • Rotisserie Teal

        Belgium’s attempt to create a state in the middle of Africa for the mining and business interests in what is now the DRC.

        Didn’t work.

        • cousin itt

          And were really really really bad at it. Fuck Leopoldo in the ass with shards of votes.

    • PresDuLac
    • PresDuLac

      The Dallas Morning News (their editor – Ted Dealy – was anti-Kennedy) did have an ad in their paper though that wasn’t any more welcoming – ‘However, a full-page advertisement on Page 14, framed by a funereal black border, carried a sarcastic headline: “Welcome Mr. Kennedy to Dallas.”

      It asked a series of 12 biting questions, each starting with “WHY” in bold capital letters.

      “WHY has Gus Hall, head of the U.S. Communist Party praised almost every one of your policies and announced that the party will endorse and support your re-election?”

      “WHY have you scrapped the Monroe Doctrine in favor of the ‘Spirit of Moscow?’”

      And so forth.

      http://www.dallasnews.com/news/jfk50/reflect/20131012-extremists-in-dallas-created-volatile-atmosphere-before-jfks-1963-visit.ece

  • Jeff Ackerman

    I’m surprised at all the paranoia over refugee’s from the destabilization of the Middle East caused by two failed wars GW Bush started. Cause and effect, how does it work?

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      Pfft everyone knows Obama is responsible for ISIS. And 9/11. And the Cubs losing to the Mets.

      • Zippy

        And the Cubs losing to the Mets.

        In 1969, as an eight year old, while hanging out with his BFF Bill Ayers

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I wasn’t GAY until Obama forced me to be a deviant homo.

  • malsperanza

    I wish I thought the Deleted Commenters read Dok’s weekly celebration of them. Oh well, on the off chance:

    Dear Solution1776, CLAUDIA LAJOIE, and the rest of you “patriotic Americans,” so terrified of refugees, so willing to turn your backs on desperate people: start building your bunkers, because they are going to come here. We are going to ensure it happens. And we will welcome them and help them, just as we have always done.

    Your friend,
    New York City
    Home of the World Trade Center
    Home of the Statue of Liberty

    • nothingisamiss

      Speaking of which: Dok, do you ever think of notifying these cretins that they are our special cretins of the week? I know it doesn’t SOUND like a good idea, but from a totally safe distance it seems fun.

      • Callyson

        I’ve said this before, but if I were Dok I don’t think I could resist doing so. I’ve actually mentioned it to one or two of the deleted commenters that I caught in time to fuck with, but IDK if they came by or not…

  • Callyson

    Yeesh, do we have to teach you ignorant muckerfuckers EVERYTHING about goddamn netiquette?

    Wonkette’s Guide to Netiquette: coming soon to a website near you!

    • nmmagyar

      Now With Moar Dick Jokes!!!!!!

      • nothingisamiss

        We will stuff those dick jokes right down your throat!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          And laugh the laugh of Josef Stalin enslaving Eastern Europe while we do it!

        • nmmagyar

          Always with the cramming…

  • ChicagoLovesYou

    I’m pleased to see most of the comments weren’t deleted after banning, since Solution1776 provided a great deal of entertainment for a Monday and others should be able to share in the laughter.

  • witsended

    Those people that are scared of the terrorists should take a leaf from my book on how to make sure they are safe and secure.

    I was so fed up with being burgled every other day by the toe rags and chavs in my neighbourhood. I tore out my alarm system and resigned our local Neighbourhood Watch.
    I’ve planted a Iraqi flag in each corner of my front garden with a large ISIS flag in the center.
    Now, the local police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, FBI the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365.
    My children are followed to school every day and my wife every time she leaves the house has an escort. I’m followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers us at all these days.
    I have never felt safer in my whole life.

    • LarkintheAM

      You win. :-D

    • MsAnthropesMr

      What are the Chavs gonna so to you anyway? Alright, so maybe attacking you with Ed Hardy fashion is a problem.

    • SpideySenser

      Simply Brilliant!

  • amindofitsown

    “Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.”

    Crap, busted.

  • Joshua Norton

    here are some of those killers who must never cross our threshold:

    Sorry, 5-year-old Syrian orphans, if we elect a GOP president, you’ll just have to find another place to plan your terrorist attacks.

  • Notreelyhelping

    “How will feel when you wake in the night AND BEGIN TO FEEL YOUR HEAD COME OFF???!!??”

    “Dude, I’ve paid good money for that.”

  • janecita

    A lot of those little, refugee kids are totally adorable, I’d volunteer to be part of the official, hugging committee.

    • schmannity

      Beware the love vests!

  • schmannity

    I am still mystified why Obama wants to destroy America..Anticolonial? See British Empire, check. Social Security, Medicare, public highways, roads, bridges, airports, seaports, okay, Socialist, check. Freedom of religion, choice, mates, speech, clearly an anarchist, check. One year away from knocking down Clinton-sized speaking fees, clearly hates Capitalism. Check. Am I missing something?

    • kaw143

      Because black, according to Ben Stein. Or maybe he just has pathological disease, which can’t be cured, like being black, or being Ben Stein, apparently.

    • LarkintheAM

      Yep. Two things, actually; one more important than the other.
      1st – Democrap
      2nd- Being of the African-American Persuasion (at the same time as Prezniting)
      Guess which one is the crucial criterion for Suspected ‘Merica Destroyer?

      • schmannity

        Citizenship while black. There otta be a law….

        • Callyson
          • kaw143

            Now they just need something snappy to call it. Perhaps a common male name coupled with the name of some kind of bird? That could have potential.

          • schmannity

            Les, ostrich, to fit the GopeePee mindset?

    • malsperanza

      NYT has a surprisingly useful article today about this. There are now whole states in which a vast swathe of citizens – EVEN THE WHITE ONES – are dependant on govermint programs, due to, youknow, all the jobs having been exported to China, and all the infrastructure (such as schools) having collapsed.

      People with a bit of success, but close to the edge, are looking at their less fortunate and/or successful neighbors and saying, How come I have to pay taxes for those guys? Used to be only Urbans were welfare queens; now it’s people I even know, plus my slob of a brother Bobby.

      So they vote against govermint programs. Meanwhile, feckless brother Bobby doesn’t vote at all.

      • schmannity

        Way more whites on government assistance than people of color, but, you know . . .

        • malsperanza

          Interestingly, the myth that “urbans” (people of color) are the “takers” is apparently fading. But the resentment of takers is not any less virulent, even when the takers are neighbors within one’s own community. That’s a lesson Dems should pay attention to.

      • Callyson

        Link for “Who Turned My Blue State Red?” Well worth using one of your ten freebies from the NYT.

        Now, if we can just figure out how to motivate poor people to stop the infighting and start the political mobilizing…

    • gene108

      You forgot to mention the millions he has already made from book royalties under hates Capitalism.

  • btwbfdimho

    “Know anything about Mao and China?”

    Right, that’s why we don’t allow Chinese people in the US, dude! They’d start with a Chinatown and end up with a Chinacountry!

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Chinese Exclusion Act (ruled unconstitutional) libel

  • jviscont1

    I promote quiverfull movements with a little prune juice daily.

    • H0mer0

      Tabasco and sriracha can help promote that too.

  • Zippy

    “How dare you refugee-hugging queers call me a coward” (if you libtards had any sense, you’d be very afraid)

    “We believe in the Constitution!!1! “(except for that persky 1st amendment thingy about freedom of religion)

    “You hate America!!” (by attempting to follow that constitution and honor the principles that the country was founded upon)

    “What about homeless vets?” (that the politician I voted for once again voted against a bill to help them)

    “You guys are all assholes@!!1! I hope a refugee kills you and your family” (wishing death upon us, but we’re the assholes)

    congratulations, pants shitting cowards, you’ve taken lack of self awareness and projection to a whole new level

    • kaw143

      What? Just because we have brains, you expect us to be sentient, too? You libtards are, like, super mean and stuff.

    • Hugh Everett

      Polls show that Americans overwhelmingly oppose mass immigration of Syrian refugees.House Democrats voted overwhelmingly against Obama to give Congress supermajority opposition to mass immigration of Syrian refugees.In the past, whenever a reasonable president was met with such overwhelming opposition to an initiative, he would simply compromise with the other party. In a case such as this, a reasonable president would work out a deal with Republicans to more carefully screen incoming Syrian refugees, thereby ending the controversy.But that’s not how Obama rolls. He doesn’t do compromise. In fact, that’s been the problem for the last seven years.So now, when a couple of these “refugees” engages in terrorism, it’s all on Obama. It will be entirely the fault of the Democrat Party.By the way, are you enjoying those impossibly high premiums and deductibles for Obamacare? Have you tried to get a good job lately? Do you like illegal immigrants just showing up at the border, and being resettled to government housing? Do you enjoy the heightened racial tension in America? These Democrat-created problems are called campaign issues.Get ready to vote..

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Hugh, you realize you’re a dumbass, right? The only “compromise” that the Rethugs will accept is total surrender. Sorta like the vermin of Daesh, now that I think about it.

        This country that is composed 53% of pants pissing cowards is beginning to really annoy me.

        • Querolous

          Do you think Hugh Wilson lives in a parallel universe?

      • Callyson

        47 out of 188 Democrats in the House is only overwhelming in wingnut arithmetic, troll.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          It’s the same math used for climate change deniers.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        That’s right, Hugh, you surrender to the fear, just like the terrorists want. You turn your back on your neighbor in need (even though refugees are not terrorists, being they are grateful to their new nation and often go on to give back to their communities ten fold, but hey, don’t let facts stop you in your mission of cowardice).

        You know who is not turning their backs on the refugees? France. Who was actually attacked this past time. Hey, America, BAWK BAWK

      • FauxAntocles

        Go change your diapers, you’re getting cranky.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          He hires some nice lady to do that for him.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        If that’s satire, yer doin it rong.

      • LarkintheAM

        But that’s not how Obama rolls. He doesn’t do compromise. In fact, that’s been the problem for the last seven years.

        Compromise, to the compromised RWNJ brain, means “give us everything we want”. Sorry, pal but that’s not how compromise works. Name one thing (I’ll wait) in which a real compromise was offered that Obama didn’t take.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Something about a birf certificate?

      • BloviateMe

        Don’t worry, we won’t worry about formal support for our efforts to bring in terrorists, we’ll just go with a coalition of the willing.

        Wait, that term sounds familiar somehow. We’ll change it to coalition of the killing.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Do you like illegal immigrants just showing up at the border, and being resettled to government housing?

        http://www.latinpost.com/articles/96284/20151120/mexico-immigration-statistics-undocumented-mexican-immigrant-migration-declines.htm

        Have you tried to get a good job lately?

        https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/11/20/the-amount-of-misinformation-about-our-economy-is-amazing/

        By the way, are you enjoying those impossibly high premiums and deductibles for Obamacare?

        http://www.factcheck.org/2015/02/slower-premium-growth-under-obama/

        Fuck off.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          FACTS???? You liberal! FACTS AND REASONS are no….WAY to be a TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOT III!!!1111 U COMMIE SOCILISTS want to ruin MY country and make us live in FEMA CAMPS with JOOS and MOOSLIMS and HERE, hold my BEER.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            We have something in common! I like beer! Rolling Rock too -none of that furren crap or “Craft” beer.

          • Rick Hill

            Mickeys Bigmouth or get out!

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Mickeys Bigmouth led to many a hangover….

          • Rick Hill

            It’ll do that…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I feel hungover just reading about Mickeys.

        • kaw143

          Pfft. We all know that Chinese (and, now apparently Syrian terrorists, too) are waiting in the tunnels under Wal-mart. Also, none of the jobs created under Blacky McBlackerson are GOOD jobs. They are all bad jobs, the kind of jobs no self-respecting American would dare take. And Obamacare has ruined everything by NOT WORKING, so there.

          Seriously, every single time Republicans have lost their shit over the big, scary world have turned out to be completely true. Remember that time ebola killed us all dead while Obama played a violin concerto on his Obamaphone? How quickly you forget. On account of you are obviously dead, like the rest of us.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        I don’t know about you, but I don’t use polls to guide my moral compass.

        • Rick Hill

          Not often I will quote Family Feud but: “Good answer, good answer!”

        • BloviateMe

          I’m sure WW II polls were pretty adamant about Japanese American internment. So obviously the right choice

          • Vegan and Tiara

            The South was wildly in favor of slavery, so it must have been a good thing.

        • FauxAntocles

          I’m sure the numbers against Jews in Nazi Germany weren’t too good.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            “Der Fuhrer, you’re doing great in the polls. 75% agree with your extermination policies against the Jews!”

          • Celtic_Gnome

            They should have passed a law to make Adolph sign off on every single Jew sent to the ovens.

      • Callyson

        Also, too: really, troll? You want to go there about compromise and Republicans? OK:

        2009 – As Michael Grunwald reported, these two ideas coalesced into a Republican plan on how to respond to the election of President Barack Obama.

        …the Republican plot to obstruct President Obama before he even took office, including secret meetings led by House GOP whip Eric Cantor (in December 2008) and Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell (in early January 2009) in which they laid out their daring (though cynical and political) no-honeymoon strategy of all-out resistance to a popular President-elect during an economic emergency. “If he was for it,” former Ohio Senator George Voinovich explained, “we had to be against it.”

        There’s more in the link BTW…

        • MsAnthropesMr

          What is this google thing you refer to? What are facts? What is trooth? What is history?

          • kaw143

            He who knows history is doomed to repeat it to jackholes like this until the end of time. Also, too, those who don’t have their heads up their own rectums should be prepared to describe what’s going on right now, too.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Vote Republican, and you won’t have to worry about all that stuff!

      • Ricky Gay

        I am “voting” on you right now! #bedwetter

      • Yr. Gma

        What’s A “Evangel of Self-Reliance”?

        • The Wanderer

          Could it be North Korea’s Juche ideal?

        • MsAnthropesMr

          That’s onanism.

      • Sam Hain

        Alrighty, who let the dickhead in?
        Back to deadskullfullamaggotsandcocaine.breitbart.com for you Mr. Hugh.

      • Zippy

        OK clownboy, one at a time

        So a whole bunch of you chuckleheads are pants shitting cowards and that somehow makes it OK? Do you actually decide your core beliefs and fundamental morals and ethics based upon poll results?

        The Dems did not overwhelmingly vote against Obama.I realize that math is hard for you dimwits, buy 47<135. As is always the case with you liars, the truth is 100% opposite what you claim

        Also too, WTF? Obama doesn't compromise? BWAHAHAHA! More opposite reality from you wingnuts. It is in fact the GOP that has spent the last 7 years refusing to compromise. Just how fucking dumb are you that you thought you could blatantly lie that way and be believed?

        More careful screening? In what way? Please be specific. What thing would you change? Point to any part of the process and identify a weakness and a potential fix for that problem or shut your dumb piehole. You jackasses consistently spew vague crap about the process, but none of you can come up with anything that is broken. Even your idiot politicians utterly failed in their SAFE Act to propose any meaningful improvements to the process. The best they could come up was having the head of the Homeland Sec urity or the FBI personally sign some forms. Because you know, if there's a problem with your car, the solution isn't to identify that specific problem, or point out a specific part that needs to be replaced, or redesign some system so it functions better or do ANYTHING that will actually address the problem- you goobers would be satisfied having the CEO of GM write a nice personally signed note promising that the car will be OK, ROFL

        My premiums are impossibly high- if you consider STILL LESS THAN HALF what I used to pay pre ACA to be high. My deductibles dropped from $2500 to $200. SMH, more blatant bullshit, you just can't help yourself, can you?

        We've had net negative border crossings, dipshit. And none of the ones who do come here get government housing. For Christ sakes, read a newspaper…

        And yes, I totes love the heightened racial tension caused by Obama committing the crime of presidenting while black. Of course it's his fault that his very existence has caused you racist assholes to lose your fucking minds and completely go insane.

        BTW, I am ALWAYS ready to vote, fuck you very much for asking…

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Dear Consumer:

          I am very sorry that your poorly made key shut your car off and prevent the airbag from saving your life.

          Sincerely,
          Mary Barra.

          • Zippy

            eggzactly, of all the dumb, pointless grandstanding bullshit- Hey, the boss says it’s OK- no need to actually do anything about it!

          • MsAnthropesMr

            It’s along the vein of “Why won’t Muslim Leaders say something about terrorism?”

        • Vegan and Tiara

          But what about BABBY BRAINS, and BENGHAZI???111!!!! You know in your heart Obama personally kills little white babbies because he hates America.

      • TheBidenator

        Yeah Obama is the one who won’t compromise- such as steadfastly refunsing to repeal his signature health care law. Or steadfastly refusing to bomb and invade every country that gives wingnuts the heebie jeebies. Or steadfastly refusing to allow conservatives to be be bigots about gay peoples rights and refusing to handle undocumented immigration like a racist by deporting anyone browner than pastel (because no white people overstay their visas) and then building a wall. Or when he decided to do something different to fix the financial mess Republicans gave us by refusing Republican demands that we fix their mess by doing things their way only. By not bowing down to the NRA and refusing to cite the weapons used in mass shootings as actually being what makes a mass shooting happen and refusing to help people who are trying to escape death by being a religious bigot. That Obama, such a “my way or the highway” type of guy….

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Ha ha…I used to have a great job, but then Obama started The Great Recession, and bank collapse, that started in 2006, a full TWO YEARS before I even heard of him.
        It’s a shame Obama couldn’t keep us safe like George W, Bush did (other than the 3000 people who died on 9/11, but that doesn’t count because it was really Clinton’s fault). I’m so glad that Bush killed Osama bin Laden too! That was awesome the way Bush just went right into Afghanistan to get bin Laden.

      • FeloniousMonk

        Didn’t someone recently mention the possibility of creatng a shit-fer-brains loop? When it collapses like the Oozlum bird, it could take out a whole galactic sector. Duck and cover, kids.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          If it turns into a wobbly heap of eggs, we could all die of cholesterol poisoning.

      • Enfant Terrible

        So 53% of Americans want to do exactly what DAESH wants them to do. That’s kind of disheartening, don’t you think?

        • Hugh Everett

          Americans don’t know what DAESH is, but they certainly know about the Paris attack and the Boston Marathon Bombing.

          • HolidayinCambodia

            To “Hugh Everett”: LOL

          • MsAnthropesMr

            True, instead, Americans know them as “Those scary people”. Understanding the complexities of Middle Eastern politics and alliances is always tricky, particularly after a empire building asshole such as Bush meddles in affairs he knows nothing about because, “They will greet us as liberators”.

            So, which is it?

            Are Americans ignorant, like you claim in your latest post?

            Or are they prophetic, and we should respond immediately to the feelings of Americans as evidenced by polls as in your first post?

          • FauxAntocles

            30,000 Americans die from gun violence every year – maybe they should be crapping their pants over that.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            I do.

          • Zippy

            The Boston bombing had nothing to do with refugees, idjit

          • jmk

            Which are entirely unconnected.

            But I guess what you’re saying is that we shouldn’t listen to a majority of Americans on this topic because they don’t have the knowledge to comment intelligently…and I agree with that.

          • Zippy

            except that they’re both scary™

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Americans like yourself couldn’t find Paris if I dropped you off at the fucking Moulin Rouge.

      • HolidayinCambodia

        Here’s my vote: LOLOLOLOL

      • NanBullenshede

        What. an. arsehole.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Dear Mr Everett,

        It would appear that you have stepped into some dogshit, and by the odor, some of it is still stuck to your shoe.

        Better luck next time.

      • Angry_Cop
    • Callyson

      You attracted a new deleted commenter–well done, Zippy!

      • MsAnthropesMr

        We could make this a game. Unfortunately, in this game, no one wins. :(

  • FauxAntocles

    Do you suppose they hear the wind whistling through their skulls?

    • 3583818

      Win

    • schmannity

      misspelled skulls

    • frrolfe

      They call the wind “Pariah”.

  • btwbfdimho

    “Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.”

    Indeedy, have you noticed that ISIS is the image of SISI? Just try to read ISIS from right to left, (as they do) and you will see.

    • Incoming Ham

      I would bet he went *looking* for it after he saw a reference to Wonkette in comments on WND.

  • azeyote

    why do they read the Wonkette anyway if not for enlightenment ? i don’t waste valuable getting stoned and having a nice day time at Briebert.com –

  • Zippy

    Miss pants-soiling? That’s worse than being chosen Miss Congeniality…

    • Vegan and Tiara

      David Vitter begs to disagree.

  • kaw143

    “refugee-hugging bunch of queers”

    Stop it! You’re making us blush.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Seems accurate.

      • kaw143

        What gets me is that this person apparently thought this was a sick burn: “You want to help the unfortunate and you accept and embrace your sexuality!” Ooooh, take thy beak from out my heart, and fuck thyself.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Well, the guys deepest in the closet think that’s a sick burn. The rest of us know what the fuck it means.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, I’m straight, but I stand with my queer brothers and sisters and will fight them to hug the refugees first.

  • TheBidenator

    I love it when xenophobic twats get their butthurt when they are informed that they are essentially cowards….the tears of such butthurt go together in a lovely drink mixed with the tears of wingnut Christians over gay marraige and wingnuts in general when they finally realized that they simply cannot beat Obama. Who knew the same wingnuts can give off different flavor of tears based upon the style of butthurt

  • Rick Hill

    My beef is how long it’s taking Obama and you to destroy America. My credit card payments aren’t going away anytime soon, so get on it.

    • kaw143

      Vote Durden & Durden 2016!

      • Rick Hill

        Turnip and Carson are on the same ticket?

    • marxalot

      My student loans, either. I was really hoping that either a banking collapse or the total default of the US gov’t woulda taken care of those by now.

  • LarkintheAM

    Yeesh, do we have to teach you ignorant muckerfuckers EVERYTHING about goddamn netiquette?

    Yes. Yes, you do. Now, which little fork is proper to use for pronouncing a GOP presidential candidacy done? And in which buttock does one impale it?

    • Rick Hill

      Once the thermal probe(enough said on the apparatus) reads: Advocate torture, you’re going to think it’s finished but you have to wait for it to read: Imprison and hang Obama for there to be a chance it’s over.

    • Zippy

      both of them, Katie

  • Incoming Ham

    The word “Patriot” has been made meaningless by these cretins.

    Patriot loving Constitutional scholars should read the article about them in the Onion -where they don’t allow comments either.

    • Rick Hill

      Eric Sloane wrote an excellent book, “Spirit of ’76” that gives an excellent historical look at the meaning of patriotism back in the day.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Meh you really do not need to do a whole thing of all the coward pant shitting fraidy cat sissy dorks who crawled outta the woodwork to insist that they are so NOT afraid, they are just really a scared.
    We got the point on that a hundred and one eleventy times.

    • malsperanza

      Some punchlines never stop being funny, though.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Meh, this one stopped being funny when France stepped up, took a look at us, and went “Fuck, you guys are a bunch of wussy cry babbies”

        It’s like that asshole brother who always gets your family not particularly invited to extended family events no matter how you try to help everyone. They all know if they invite you, they have to invite them.

  • Rick Hill

    “Texas never said they were afraid and their stance does nothing to help ISIS. ”

    Didn’t have to say it. If they had responded with the same macho bull crap they reserve for unarmed east coasters and children who have candy they desire then they would have released a statement like this:
    “Yeehaw motherfcking ragheads. Get your ass down to the great state of Texas, We got something waiting for you here, even our grannies carry and they can take your sorry ass out before you even think of suicidin’.”
    Of course they took the “prudent” course. (read “chickenshit”)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Texas is FILLED TO THE BRIM of their no cattle all hats with cowards. Starting with their governor and both US Senators.

      • Rick Hill

        What I’ve said about Texans has been consistent since the 80s: Some of the kindest, warmest, fantastic people I’ve met are texans. The Texans that aren’t are, to a man, 10lbs of bullshit in a 5lbs sack.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Every state has its sorts like that.

          Texas just elects them into high profile office.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah bt, then, Texas asshats are a breed all their own.

          • kindness

            Well to a lot of Texans being that kind of an Ass Clown is somethin’ to be proud of. So they go there. A lot.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            It’s important to remember that the late, great Molly Ivins, Ann Richards, Barbara Jordan, and even LBJ, who fought for the 1964 Civil Rights Act even though he admitted it would lose the South for the Dems for a generation (now going on two) were Texans.

          • Rick Hill

            And they would fit in the first of my description of some Texans being the best people I’ve met, though I never met those folks. Damn, I wish Molly was still around. She’d have a field day with these fools.

          • marxalot

            We have a system: the asshole on the city council, who makes life hell for his neighbors and won’t stop kicking up shit about the water rates? Convince him to run for the Lege, then ship him off to Austin where he can’t hurt nobody (seriously, our Lege works like 3 weeks a year). He gets bigger and louder? Send him to the Statehouse and let him cut ribbons for a living (traditionally, it’s the Lt Gov who wields the power). Alas, somewhere along the line, somebody gave these MO-RANS actual power, and the system don’t work as good as it used to.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I heard there were only queers and steers in Texas.

        • Rick Hill

          Better to just go with: Texas-where men are men and sheep are nervous.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            They say that about Montana and Wyoming, too! :P

          • Rick Hill

            I think Ok, too

          • Anarchy Pony

            And New Zealand.

          • marxalot

            Only two things come outta New Zealand, boy! Kiwis and Lucy Lawless.

  • Callyson

    Aaaand we have a new deleted commenter below to fuck with! (Look for the reply to one of Zippy’s comments if you want to join the fun.)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He just posted the usual Rethug talking points about how Obama, by refusing to roll over and say “yes, massa” to the Rethugs, is the one who won’t “compromise”. That’s not really a bannable, but most certainly a mockable, post.

      • Callyson

        Not ban-worthy yet, true, but we will see how he/she/it reacts to those of us who are pointing out the flaws in those talking points…

        • Tansy Geek

          By bravely running away, it seems.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            When logic reared its ugly head
            he bravely turned his tail and fled
            When facts his errors pointed out
            He bravely went and chickened out

            brave brave brave brave sir wingnut

      • Land Shark
  • Bill Slider

    How do we get rid of the Christian terrorists who were born here, and who want to have one gun in every room in the house to protect the Constitution ?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Not terrorists. Mental illness. Shame about that.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Neither Donald Trump nor Ben Carson would go on record and say that potential home grown terrorists, who are on terrorist watch lists, should be denied guns while living in America. Apparently the NRA believes that EVERYONE should have a gun, including suspected terrorists. George Stephanopolous kept saying “so you think they should be able to have guns then?” Neither would just say “of course not, that’s fucking nuts.” They don’t have the balls to stand up to the NRA, but somehow or another they’re going to eliminate ISIL.

      • kaw143

        See, if you are truly tough, you’d totally understand their position, but its toughness is just so far above you, in its toughness, that it is too tough for you.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Aaackk…I admit it, I’m an American, butter loving, cheese eating, surrender monkey!

          • Suttree

            Soooo, these monkeys that surrender their cheese are like helper monkeys? You’ve trained them to milk cows and produce dairy products? You are my new Queen!

          • Vegan and Tiara

            In other words, I’m your Dairy Queen? Good, because I’m starting a new world order, and I plan on converting everyone to a Mooslim. Would you care to help me repopulate my new Cowiphate in Wisconsin?

          • Suttree

            Your wish is my command my Dairy Queen. I would also like to subscribe to your newsletter but I’m unsure of how Vegan it will be. I imagine Tiaras for all the fine Ladies of the Cowliphate. Also, too how do you milk a moose?

          • NanBullenshede

            with Waldos and the containment suits for Ebola.

          • Suttree

            I thought that’s what the helper monkeys are for. I don’t want to do anything but eat cheese and procreate.

          • Zippy

            Just what kind of cheese are we talking about here? Because that shit is important…

          • Suttree

            Moldy sneaker cheese of course!

          • Vegan and Tiara

            No, no, no! We are not milking mooses! It’s “Moo”slims! Moo.-.like what a good American cow says! Also, you’ll have to change your name to “Moo-hamed” so I hope you’re cool with that. Long live the Cowliphate. Cheese is grate…err…great!

  • Vegan and Tiara

    “Why don’t you all move out of this country if you hate it so much. You sick fucking people.”
    Funny that this sentiment always comes from the same people who were whining, crying, and gnashing their teeth about America the ENTIRE time Obama has been president. You remember him? The Constitutional law scholar who was DEMOCRATICALLY elected by a majority of AMERICANS,. Many of us who voted for O’Bummer are real Americans even though we’re not dumb, fat, butter loving* turds who live in Kansas.
    *Full disclosure: I’m a butter lover, but in the FRENCH way.

    • Beowoof14

      Just to clarify, does butter loving mean in the Last Tango in Paris way?

      • kaw143

        That’s absolutely the way I took it, yes. And just to clarify, heat the butter at a low temperature and skim the solid fats off of the top.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          And just to clarify….

          ISWYDT

      • Vegan and Tiara

        To clarify, I meant clarified butter, but if you’re wondering if I also like to slather myself in butter to make love to aging, obese, movie stars, that’s also an acceptable conjecture. You’d be foolish not to wildly speculate.

        • kaw143

          Oh, please, who doesn’t? I’m having sex with Val Kilmer as I type. But am I thinking of Twixt Val Kilmer, or Top Gun Val Kilmer as I do it? It would be irresponsible not to just ask the question.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’ll see your Kilmer, and raise you a ‘Am I thinking of “Streetcar Named Desire” Brando, or, well, “Last Tango in Paris” Brando?’

          • kaw143

            Oh, I’m thinking “Island of Doctor Moreau”, which represents the confluence of both worlds.

          • Beulah

            The horror. The horror.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Twice. Democratically elected by a majority of Americans twice.
      They hate when you remind them of that little factoid.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        “I want my country back!” Waaaaahhhhhhh…boo…friggety hoo…I’m such a wittle baby.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          TWICE.He won TWICE. not even with a SCOTUS ruling to overthrow the popular vote.

    • mailman27

      Plugra?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Plugra? I hardly know ya!
        Ha, just kidding, of course I love Plugra. Mmmm…sweet butter…how much I love you.

  • Bill Slider

    I figured out the right answer. Obama should resign. OHJB becomes President. President Biden submits the name of the Speaker of the House to be Vice President. Pop the popcorn and relax. The Senate would not dare say no, and the GOP clown car would implode as the VP jumps in front of the others.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    “Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.”

    Don’t you threaten ME with a good time, Mr. Chuck Cap (if that’s even your real name).

  • Zhu Bajie

    Terrrorists don’t need to attack the US again. Bin Laden flicked our house of cards in 2001, and we’ve been tumbling ever since.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The leadership of the GOP has been doing the will of Osama for 14 years.

  • chascates

    That these nutjobs can accuse other Americans of hating their own country illustrates how completely the right wing noise machine controls their brains. Yes, my family has been here since before the American Revolution, forebears of mine fought in all wars through Vietnam, and if I disagree with you on any issue I no longer deserve to live here.
    I especially love how they claim if I just understood what they were saying I would agree with them. But when I tell them I actually do understand their arguments, their ‘logic’, and their fears but I disagree with their conclusions they shout back “you don’t understand or you would agree with me! Or you hate America!”.
    Suggest that maybe most Syrian refugees aren’t terrorists and “you love ISIS”. Say that Muslims shouldn’t be automatically suspected of being dangerous and “you [fill in the rest]”.
    There’s no use talking with them. There’s no use trying to tell them your point of view. The right wing tells them how things are and they swallow it whole.

    • kaw143

      You know who else swallows it whole?

      • Land Shark

        Brisdull?

        • Objectifer

          No, she doesn’t. That’s the problem.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Larry Craig? Mark Foley? George Rekkers?

      • Doug Langley

        Linda Lovelace?

    • chascates

      Just found this treasure on the ShoutyFace page of some childhood friends who should know better.

      • bupkus23

        It’s funny – even the sourced site says that this rumor is more untrue than true. It originally circulated back right after 9/11, but keeps popping up over and over again as gullible “friends” push it along.

        https://www.truthorfiction.com/abcflag/

  • diogenez

    “The author of this article wants muslim refugees. I am sorry, it is NOT OUR FUCKING JOB to take in radical muslims.”

    I love how easily the nutjobs conflate Syrian or Muslim with RADICAL TERRORIST. In the minds of the RWNJs, they are all the same, I’m beginning to think.

    • SisterArtemis

      Oh, trust me, YES!
      In my work world, my colleagues spread across the country are a large-ish percentage (a quarter? a third?) of extreme conservatives, and are absolutely convinced that the only good Muslim is a dead one. It’s awful. They’re largely overlapping the armed-and-dangerous crowd, and I fear for the Muslim-or-presumed-so neighbors in their towns.

      I keep a professional facebook feed – where I don’t “do” political and controversial commenting or posting, you know, because it’s my work profile). I can’t even respond to the crap I see, because it’s both like talking to a brick wall AND inviting the crazy batshit side of people I otherwise respect come out and spread its filth all over my nice work-related facebook world. Gah!

      It’s depressing. Fortunately, it’s also in the minority, but far too prominent for my comfort.

    • FauxAntocles

      Not nuance-capable…

  • Mr Corrections

    OT: Trump just said that a BLM protestor deserved getting assaulted for heckling him:
    http://politicalwire.com/2015/11/22/bonus-quote-of-the-day-765/

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Welp, he just won the Republican nomination.

      • Mr Corrections

        This is beyond amazing. If the GOP doesn’t disown him now, they are endorsing actual fascism.

        • Ricky Gay

          I am afraid they are now a bottomless pit

          • Zippy

            They’re not wearing pants?

        • bupkus23

          C’mon – do you really think they know what that word means?

          • FauxAntocles

            Either don’t know or don’t care…

          • bupkus23

            I lean towards “don’t care” – just like they don’t care whether anything they “know” is factual or not….

          • Vecciojohn

            They know what they know, by God! And that’s a damn sight more than any of them liberal professors. No sir! Tell me I’m descended from a goddamn monkey! Sons-a-bitches.

          • bupkus23

            Ok, you’re descended from a goddamn monkey – altho’ I can’t figure out were the sons-a-bitches come in.

          • Vecciojohn

            A liberal that can’t figure out a common sense remark. Now there’s a big damn surprise. You’re the son-of-a-bitch for being on the side of the terrorists!!!! You DO know that Syrian’s are MUSLIMS.Don’t ya? I forget which brand, Sunites, I think.

          • bupkus23

            Shoulda known better than to try and top you – here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I can’t think of a response… ;-)

          • Vecciojohn

            I accept your apology.

          • Zippy

            Brain the size of a planet? Maybe we can get Dr Ben to whittle it down to a more manageable size…

          • bupkus23

            Funny how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse, it suddenly does.

          • geektastic

            Pretty sure it’s Sun-maids. They eat a lot of dried fruit.

          • FauxAntocles

            They know they’re fascist, they’re just not ready to say so.

          • dshwa

            No. But they’re sure it’s something about liberals though.

          • geektastic

            I called tRump “fascism on the hoof” in a friends thread, and someone quoted Mort Sahl as saying “The road to fascism is paved in liberal bricks.” So, yeah.

          • Vecciojohn

            Mort Sahl always was an asshole.

          • geektastic

            Yeah, and I pointed out that he was referring to the people in show business who had “suppressed” him because he became a JKF conspiracy looney. I doubt that’ll matter to the RWNJ.

        • Vecciojohn

          Fascism smashism, just don’t let any more in and lock up the ones who are already here. I live a mile from an actual Muslim Mosque. I see the women sneaking around all the time in the fancy Islamic “garb,” “picking up their kids from school” and “walking to the corner store.” Which, by the way, is full of that halal stuff, so how’s that for a giant tipoff? And when I call the police, do they do anything? They do not! I imagine I will be among the first killed when Obama gives the signal.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            And what pray tell is the signal? Barry grows a beard, Michelle and the girls wearing hijabs? Bo taken to a shelter? No kill of course, he’s not a complete animal, yet.

          • FauxAntocles

            I see those people all the time too. Surely their polite friendliness is just a cover up.

          • Vecciojohn

            Model citizens. Very suspicious.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            That’s the insidious part. They smile in your face, and all the time they want to take your place!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yup. “Walking to the corner store” may very well result in a Jihad! We need to do something about that!

          • Vecciojohn

            And right damn quick!

        • Anarchy Pony

          Did I miss something? They’ve been doing it covertly for decades.

    • Zippy
      • dshwa

        That’s the new Texas math.

      • Mr Corrections

        Hmmm, the “Crime Statistics Bureau” – that sounds like a totally real thing that really exists.

        • Zippy

          It actually does, but its last report is from 2014 and it doesn’t break down stats by race

          • CriticalDragon1177

            Why am I not surprised? Donald Trump is spreading false information to justify his bigotry

          • jmk

            He’s doing what? The hell you say!!

          • Mr Corrections

            I cannot find any government entity by that name in San Francisco. The only similar reports are SF Police Department reports under “Uniform Crime Reporting Stats” (and they both end at 2014 and fail to break down by race, as you said).

            It probably goes without saying that the numbers are completely fictional and wildly inaccurate, according to the FBI:

            https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2014/crime-in-the-u.s.-2014/tables/expanded-homicide-data/expanded_homicide_data_table_6_murder_race_and_sex_of_vicitm_by_race_and_sex_of_offender_2014.xls

          • Zippy

            I imagine that they’re referencing the annual crime reports in SF and yes, the numbers are fictional nor is there an actual bureau

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Probably one of his supporters sent him that graphic (and do note, the illustration is a white dude, but all grayed out and holding the gun thug style so you immediately thing blah, and he ran with it because he is A Idiot.

          • Mr Corrections

            If you click on the photo, you can see that it was directly linked from a guy trying to justify racism. There’s not even the slightest question that he was attempting to do otherwise.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            See? I did not even have to click and follow to find that out. I just KNEW IT.
            I am a genius and should run for presidenting now

          • Vecciojohn

            So maybe The Blacks are even more shooty than we think!

        • Vecciojohn

          I think it’s part of The Government. Congress or the Federal Reserve or something.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Am I missing something? These numbers don’t add up to 100%.

        • kaw143

          Of course, not. They add up to 200%, like all statistics do.

          • Vecciojohn

            The people who built the Arc were 100% right and the people who built the Titanic were 100% wrong. So yeah, 200%.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Quod erat derpostrandum.

          • Vecciojohn

            Oh, Canadian eh?

          • NanBullenshede

            Drinking Canadian Ouisquebaugh no doot.

          • Jon Sussex

            Hence, Arc de Triomphe.

          • Vecciojohn

            One of our most inspiring public monuments, even if they did give it a French name.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            So 200% more accurate, right?

          • theCryptofishist

            Does this mean I”m going to start having to give 220%? Because 110% is bad enough.

        • FauxAntocles

          It should be split – it shows stats for blacks and whites.

          • Mr Corrections

            And, weirdly, no person from either group is ever killed by someone who is not from one of those groups (or the police, who apparently kill 3% of all white people).

          • Zippy

            C’mon other minorities! Step it up! Start killing people!

          • pumpkinspiceheroincat

            Ain’t nobody got time fo dat. Too busy stealing your jobs, smuggling in delicious candy, and raping.

          • Zippy

            Delicious candy?

            Go on…

          • Vecciojohn

            I shot the Sheriff. Does that change the equation?

          • Mr Corrections

            That depends – you’re not from one of those non-murdery ethnicities, are you? Because that would throw out our stats completely!

          • Vecciojohn

            I’m white, but I voted for a black guy twice. So I guess it’s a wash.

          • Msgr_Moment

            Come off it. I heard it was the Deputy.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Ah, that makes sense, thanks. Not that any of it makes sense, but you know what I mean.

        • Vecciojohn

          Typical liberal, fussing over petty details.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I guess it’s Common Core Math???

          • Zippy

            I blame the metric system

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Who needs presidential advisors, when you have Twitter?”
        –Donald Trump

      • BloviateMe

        Syrians who are terrorists: eleventy%

      • Enfant Terrible

        Where did you get that graphic? It’s not correct.

        • Callyson

          It’s from a tweet from The Donald, and it’s off. Just like that asshole…

        • Mr Corrections

          Click “See more”

        • Zippy

          lol, not even close

      • clubseal

        Yeah, but how many police were killed by police? 670%?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Oh goody, he is dropping his I love the black people thing and going right for flat out those Blahs be scary man!!!!!
        Excellent.

      • mailman27

        So, 16% of all white people were killed by other white people? Shit, us white folks better head for the bunkers, we’ll be extinct in, like, seven years!!1!!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I wish I were on the tweeters so I could tweet back and 0% by Syrian Refugees, right?

    • Callyson

      “Maybe he should have been roughed up because it was absolutely disgusting what he was doing.”

      Tell me, NYT linky, what was the guy doing?

      The protester, Mercutio Southall, 31, who co-founded a Black Lives Matter chapter in Birmingham, described to a local news outlet being physically assaulted after he and his fellow protesters began recording their presence at the event. A cellphone was knocked out of his friend’s hand, he said, and then some punches were exchanged. Mr. Southall said that a Trump supporter threw the first punch, and he then swung back.

      Oh, well, he totally had it coming then!!!

      • Mr Corrections

        According to the article that someone linked to before, there’s video of him being surrounded and kicked by a group of (white, obviously) guys while he’s on the ground, then one of them attempts to choke him.

        • Zippy

          there’s a bunch of videos and they’re all ugly

          • Mr Corrections

            I don’t doubt it for a second, but I cannot bring myself to watch them.

        • geektastic

          JFC, I hope he presses charges against those fuckers

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Now why would those crazy Nevada ranchers who refuse to pay their grazing fees want to protest Trump?
      *clicks link*
      Oh, those BLM protestors.

    • SisterArtemis

      Every time I see the acronym BLM, I think Bureau of Land Management. It’s very confusing. It brings Cliven Bundy to mind. Totally different direction…

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        AKA bovine loving motherfuckers. Love-hate in the west.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Newbies could be forgiven for not knowing that rehoming is spelled “re-gifting” on Wonkette.

    • Vecciojohn

      That reminds me. Are we doing a War on Christmas present exchange this year?

      • NanBullenshede

        With Secret Enemies? I ponder gifting mine with a Starbuques cuppe, the one figured all over with Crucified babbie Jesu.

  • TheBidenator

    “We are at a crossroads……there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are. Don’t you people study history? Know anything about Mao and China?”

    Wow, I read about these in history books but I never thought I’d see an actual, real yellow peril, what’s next, “Japs go home”?

    • Jon Sussex

      I thought he meant you gotta fight for your right to party.

      • SisterArtemis

        Party on, Solution1776

  • Vecciojohn

    How come you can ban us anyway? It’s against the First Amendment Right to Free Speech, as enshrined* in the Declaration of Independence.

    * It pays to increase your word power, kids.

    • bupkus23

      Does that word mean you can wear a funny hat and drive a tiny car in parades?
      ( Wow, am I old! )

    • geektastic

      One cannot be banned from posting comments that are not allowed.

      • marxalot

        That is some one-hand-clapping shit right there.

        • Mr Corrections

          It’s a Wonkoan.

          • Vecciojohn

            What is the sound of one banned commenter crapping?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            ALL THE UPFISTS!

      • BloviateMe

        If you’re going to blow something, I’m OK with it being my mind, but there’s other things towards the top of my list.

        • Msgr_Moment

          You mean the head of the list?

          • BloviateMe

            Touché is OK, but touchy is towards the top, er, head of my list.

          • Vecciojohn

            Be sure to catch Msgr_’s new Comedy Channell special.

      • Vecciojohn

        Well how the hell am I supposed to know that? I’m no scientist.

        • geektastic

          Good thing, since science is a liebrul conspiracy.

          • Vecciojohn

            They’ve already snuck their numbers into the country. ARABIC NUMBERS!!! Think, people, think!

      • SisterArtemis

        “One cannot be banned from posting comments that are not allowed.”

        That is SOOOO Jedi!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        What’s the sound of one hand banning?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Reminds me: how many Enshriners can you fit in a clown car?

      • Biff52

        As many as the GOP allows?

      • Vecciojohn

        I’ll bite. How many?

        • thenearesthippie

          I was assured there would be no biting.

      • LarkintheAM

        AOT,K.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    If you hate America……there is the boat.

    I never knew boats were conditional.

    • Zippy

      Never get out of the boat

      • Vecciojohn

        Get on the trolley.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Not like hammers:

      If I had a boat
      I’d boat in the mo-orning
      I’d boat in the evening
      All over this la-and.

      • Ricky Gay

        And we could all together

        Go out on the ocean

        Me upon my pony on my boat

      • theCryptofishist

        I’d boat it in the morning?
        I would boat it in the morning?

        I always miss the absent syllables.

  • Alex Grey

    The millions of soliders who died to protect your rights to spew this vile shit mean nothing to you

    I’m fairly sure the combined number of US soldiers, who have ever died defending US America, would not even add up to 1 million, let alone millions plural…

    • Zippy

      I’m also pretty sure that they died to defend the core principles of the US, including the Constitution and the Declaration of Independance, not the right to be a chickenshit xenophobic coward

      • Land Shark

        “I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.” (Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Note the “foreign and domestic” part.

          That means you, bedwetting cowards doing the work of Daesh.

          • Land Shark

            Deport the chickenhawks?

          • LarkintheAM

            If only.

          • theCryptofishist

            Island colony? Drop off supplies?

          • LarkintheAM

            Oh, no, no, no! We wouldn’t want to compromise their core values by giving them regular handouts – that will only encourage dependency. Instead we leave them with tools, seeds, building materials, etc; everything to build shelter, grow their own food (they made plenty of their own fertilizer), dig wells, etc. Then we leave them alone to work their libertarian magic. When we check in on them in a few years, we should see a thriving metropolis, a shining city of Galt in an island paradise, right?

      • theCryptofishist

        (Well said, thank you.)

    • gene108

      Other than the War of 1812, which on second thought we probably should not have started in the first place, there really are no wars that directly threatened America.

      The only war fought that directly impacted freedom was the Civil War.

      Mexican American War was a war of expansion, as well as the Spanish American War.

      World War 1 was us butting in at the end of a war and I guess helping to force an Armistice.

      WW2 was freedom for Western Europe, though I do not see how either Hitler or Hirohito could actually land troops on US soil and directly threaten our freedoms.

      Korea helped the South Koreans get free from communist aggression.

      Vietnam was bad.

      Gulf War 1 was freedom for Kuwaitis from Saddam.

      Kosovo was freedom for some people in the Balkans.

      Afghanistan started off as retaliation for a direct attack and to bring freedom to Afganistan from the decades of Civil War and the Taliban, but Bush & Co fucked it up.

      Gulf War 2 was another war of aggression.

      In short, very little on this planet threatens or has ever threatened our freedom. We are so geopolitically secure and have been for centuries we should all just relax a bit more because we have it better than we realize.

      • Land Shark

        Other than the Civil War, have their ever been American refugees?

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Yes, but thankfully Germany took me in.

      • Beezelbubbles

        Grenada just died a little inside. How soon it has been forgotten.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I would not underestimate Hitler and Japan. WWII was a real existential war. The US wasn’t seriously threatened on its own soil, true, but if Hitler had succeeded with his plans, the world would have been a very different place, and the Germans had rocket technology far more advanced than anything we had in 1945. Couple that with the atomic bomb…and…

    • FauxAntocles

      About 1.5 million, fewer than have died of gun violence in the past 50 years.

      • marxalot

        Depends: are you counting both sides of war dead in the Civil War? And are we counting only combat deaths or are we including all uniformed deaths in wartime? Because 1.5 mil is the most generous figure: combat only is less than half that, and if you eliminate one or the other sides of the Fratricidal Freakout then it goes down again by a big bloody chunk.

        • Land Shark

          I seem to recall 565,000** US combat deaths in WWII. The Civil War was more than 600,000 IIRC.

          Corrected: 410,000 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II_casualties

          • marxalot

            Strictly speaking, our combat deaths in WW2 were about 250k, and combat deaths from the Civil War (both sides) were that again. Now, combined fatal casualties (accidents, wound deaths, hostile terrain etc) bump both those numbers up dramatically, but we still came home from Europe and Japan with about 400k all told. Civil War combined numbers are closer to 700k with everyone accounted for (mm mm dysentery!).

            For a full scale mobilization, we came out of The Great Patriotic War relatively easy. Just ask the Soviets.

        • FauxAntocles

          Pulled it off a fact-checking article – I didn’t check the definitions…

  • Msgr_Moment

    …xenophobia, which is merely a big word liberals made up…

    Actually, the correct word is xerophobia, the fear of dryness, which true Patriots fight by pissing their pants at the sight of Muhammadans.

    • Land Shark

      “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

      ― George Carlin

      • bupkus23

        To paraphrase Garrison Keillor, “All our conservatives are below average…”

        • Msgr_Moment

          “Rarely is the question asked: Is our conservatives thinking?

          • dshwa

            Because everyone already knows the answer to that one is “No.”

        • Land Shark

          The scary part is I know some (I thought) smart people who have bought into the whole supple side, trickle down, wealthy tax cuts economic policy. And I just cannot understand it.

          • OldMayfly

            Guide to understanding trickle down, wealthy tax cuts: imagine you are a kid at summer camp. You have the lower bunk. The kid who has the upper bunk is a bed-wetter. There you are.

          • starfanglednut

            My personal opinion is it’s not a lack of intelligence, but a need to feel superior (to poor people, people of color, women, gays, etc) so strong that it overcomes any reasoning ability the person has.

          • Land Shark

            I guess insecurity reals does overpower logic. Scary thought.

          • dshwa

            Neuroscience has shown that time and again. If you don’t learn to regulate your amygdala, it’ll overrun your frontal cortex all day long.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I don’t know. The whole supple side economics sounds kind of nice.

          • Land Shark

            Does it come with free ObamaLotion™?

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Depends on where you stand on the ladder. Are you a trickler or a tricklee?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Easy to understand; they think they are the ones at the top of the scale

          • dshwa

            It sounds great as long as you believe one day you’ll be the trickler, no the tricklee.

          • jmk

            My brother has. I’m pretty sure that it’s a failure of imagination. He really does think that everyone has the same experiences that he’s had. He’s quite successful, and thinks that it’s all down to his own hard work and Jesus, and that anyone could do the same if they really tried. He kind of assumes unsuccessful people don’t try hard enough. He sincerely doesn’t see that his success was helped (not caused but helped) by the system working as it was designed – to give a straight, white, Christian, middle class male like him a few legs up – and he’s insulted by the idea that he had any advantages that others didn’t have.

  • Joshua Norton

    Obviously, bed wetting is a core conservative value.

    • Zippy

      Trump/Enuresis 2016

      • dshwa

        “So you’ll never sleep at night again”

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      And here they’ve been telling us it is all about fambly and freedumbs and really it is all about the bed wetting.

    • starfanglednut

      Well, that depends.

  • clubseal

    Weird question, maybe: If the Syrian refugee hate isn’t about pants pissing fear, then what is it about?

    • Land Shark

      Brown people.

    • Zippy

      hate

    • Left Coast Tom

      Pants-shitting fear.

      • Land Shark

        Ah. Then they should probably talk to ex-Senator, loser candidate David “Poopy Pants” Vitter …

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I was so thrilled to see that John Bel Edwards won. I thought for sure that Vitter was going to win because, well, Republicans cheat.

      • clubseal

        I wonder why the saying was never “underwear shitting fear.” I mean, unless you’re going commando, you’re not really shitting directly into your pants.

        • Land Shark

          It’s called “Going Nugent”

        • geektastic

          Maybe it started in the UK. There, “pants”=underpants.

        • Zippy

          eventually you are…

        • Querolous

          There are few RWNJ pornstars. No pants to shit in.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            That is surprising considering how many RWNJ customers of Porn there are. Allegedly.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Those little Syrian refugees want to bomb me…with cuteness.

    • Land Shark

      IKR? Must paralyze the brains of the morans … maybe because their hearts and minds are so ugly?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Maybe they don’t recognize the cuteness because the kids have a brownish hue? It has to be terrifying to be a kid and flee your home because crazy people are trying to kill you, and then go to a country where nobody wants you. Poor little guys. :-(

        • Jon Sussex

          At least they’re trying to learn our gang signs.

          • dshwa

            Wingnuts probably think that’s part of the screening process.

  • JustPixelz

    I’m late this commenting party….

    About ten years ago, my wife and I took in a refugee from a different war for a few months. If we still had an in-law apartment, we’d do it again.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    Republican response to 20 kids and 6 adults murdered at Sandy Hook elementary school by a crazed gunman: “well, what are you gonna do?” SHRUG
    Republican response to 130 people murdered in France by crazed gunmen: “holy fucking shit, we’re under attack, OMFG, hide your women and children, scary people want to kill us all!!!!!!!!” Also “BENGHAZI!!!!” too.

    • That_got_me_thinking

      Correction. SHRUG is the Republican response to +30,000 gun deaths a year.

    • Land Shark

      A little close to home, but … “well, what are you gonna do?”

      What I am doing, Senator|Congressman|NRA|Gun Humper is calling you out as cold hearted, selfish, indifferent, unfeeling motherfucker. I cannot wish the demise of anyone you love, but I damn well can wish you feel it. and not with votes.

      I hope all of you are punished by experiencing the pain of losing a child.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    There are tons of Somali Muslim refugees in the neighborhood where I rent shop space. They do their shopping at the Syrian owned market that has been there for decades. They stand out for being a. beautifully dressed, and b. law abiding in an area filled with white trash tweakers and crackheads. Welcome to America. They must be thinking, “wtf did we do wrong to end up with these shermed up peckerwoods?”,

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I keep thinking we should allow the Syrian refugees to repopulate Gary, Indiana,* but then I think “what did the refugees do to deserve that?”
      *Note to anyone who lives in Gary, Indiana – not trying to diss your town, I just am using it as a generic, rust belt town that could probably use some new blood.

      • fredfnord

        > Note to anyone who lives in Gary, Indiana – not trying to diss your town

        How disappointing. Well, if you’re not, I certainly will. Gary: what a shithole. Why, it’s almost as bad as the rest of Indiana! :-D

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Well, it has hardly any esses in it. Unlike Syria.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Garyss Indianas – FIXED IT!

    • dshwa

      Just think how bad Somalia and Syria are that those refugees probably still think they’re better off.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The definitely are better off, and they know it. But boy did they get settled in a shithole of a neighborhood.

    • Vecciojohn

      I must say, the Islamics round these parts seem a tolerant lot. When I got a might liquored up at the cockfight last month and wandered down the street without my britches none of ’em said a word to me.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        So, that was you?

    • SecludedCompound

      He, yeah, the one thing I noticed in my heavily Somali neighborhood a couple o years back was a noted oversupply of good food and a noted under-supply of fucking awful rednecks and crime.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Lucky you. Lucky them, actually.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    “there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are.”

    Oh man, Dad. I get one fucking C in Geometry, and you go fucking spaz! It’s not fair!

    • Vecciojohn

      ? It’s my party and I’ll invite Mulim refugees if I want to . . . ?

  • starfanglednut

    Gotta say, pumpkinspiceheroincat is a most excellent screen name. Can we keep him or her?

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I warned pumpkinspiceheroincat that this is a “blood in, blood out” mommy blog / recipe hub, and once he/she has been jumped in, there’s no turning back.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Indeed. Right up there with weedlordbonerhitler.

      • starfanglednut

        You remember weedlord? Man, I miss that guy.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          That was before I worked up the gumption to post comments (little did I know, right?), but I remember thinking this was the place for me.

        • Biff52

          Drops in from time to time, gotta be quick!

  • Zippy
    • Vegan and Tiara

      That’s rich, that Rush Limbaugh is accusing Liberals of editing videos, REALLY rich.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Amazing *facepalm*

      • dshwa

        Once again (and again, and again, and again) it’s ALWAYS projection with these guys.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          They’re buying it hook line and sinker. It is pretty priceless. Then going on to say not only did he NOT say it, but it is a damn good idea anyway, even though he never said it, so he is a genius by default.
          *facepalm again*

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I watched the video this morning. Trump has a way of saying something outrageous, but being kind of vague about it, and then when he’s questioned about the outrageous statement he made, he kind of backs off and says “no, what I really meant is something slightly less xenophobic than what you thought you heard me say.” He’s actually very good at doing that.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Percisely. He spins it down, which is rather interesting to watch. Start with something borderline outrageous, gauge the impact, and then spin it down until you hit the level where your fans are still slobbering and frothing but your not quite fans are not turning their backs entirely anymore.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            He’s also very good at answering a question with a question, so you’re not really sure if he’s agreeing or not with what the reporter said. He’s some kind of idiot genius.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            It would be a little more genius if he could come up with his spin on the spot and not take a half day or more to figure out what he really means though

          • Zippy

            that because he has ADHD and spews random crap

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I feel like he’s got a gift for being really vague, and not really answering the question. He almost seems like a very good lawyer.

          • Zippy

            a used car salesman

          • Vegan and Tiara
        • Zippy

          Always

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Projection. It’s what they do.

      • Notreelyhelping

        You know you’ve screwed up when the argument turns to “But he really didn’t say it!”

    • Land Shark

      I threw a little meat into the grinder. Should be fun to watch and ignore.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        gigglesnort.

        • Land Shark

          They’re all whining about the MSM and their lies. They should probably look at who owns their “MSM” … I never took Murdoch to be a Hilary & Obama supporter.

          “Clueless is as clueless does.”

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Pretty much everything that does not pander to their own delusions, regardless of facts, is a liberal lie perpetrated by someone in order to run the country, but not to run it, to purposefully destroy it because….I do not know.

            They really oughta know that erm, it is the GOP establishment trying to take down Trump. We know he ain’t winnin anything so we’re cool with him being there. Just wish he’d shut up once in a while and, idk, denounce the violence of his followers

          • dshwa

            Yeah, we mostly are just pointing at Trump and laughing, although a little part of me dies inside with how his naked pandering to racists, bigots, and general assholishness is playing so well. But the more he talks the more he alienates the moderates in this country against his whole party, so why would I want to shut him up?

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I fucking love Donald Trump, only because my mother, who is a lifelong Republican, always says “what a clown” whenever she sees anything about Trump. I always respond “he’s certainly no worse than the rest of them, and better than a lot of them.” I really think the old country club Republicans like my mother will have a hard time pulling the lever for a Trump/Palin ticket.
            I also can never resist saying “so what exactly is Jeb going to fix? The 5% unemployment rate, just like his brother fixed Clinton’s 4% unemployment rate?” She never answers that one.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            My father was a lifelong republican. about two years before he passed (before he found out he was sick though) he was trying to help out his fellow union retirees and coming up against the Publican Wall, and realized how little his party felt about him now that he was no longer in the harness.
            He switched and voted Bamz (pretty sure, he never would tell us, but when I asked he got a funny look on his face)the year before he died. I was never so proud of him as I was at that moment

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’m fairly certain my mom voted for O’Bummer in 2008, because she was scared shitless when the Dow hit 6500, and her condo was plummeting in value. She realized for the first time she might end up broke and living on Social Security. She’s never admitted it, but she slipped one time and hinted that she’d voted for Nobama. Naturally, by the time 2012 rolled around she had totally forgotten about crapping her pants in 2008, and was warning me I wouldn’t like Obamacare when it was enacted. I said “I’m sure I won’t like it, since it’s a dumb plan concocted by the Heritage Foundation, and I’d much prefer a single payer healthcare system.” I’m hoping she’ll see the light some day, but she’s in her eighties, so I doubt it.
            Sorry about your dad. :-(

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Aw it is ok, and thank you :snuggle: I am just glad he learned.
            I always think it is amusing, in a cute old people way, when folk on medicare are all agin ACA. Because….heh. It is funny, and cute. My uncle was going off about that one day and I just looked at him and went “Aren’t you on medicare?” and he went “That’s different!”
            lolz

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            My Dad went the other way, from a Kennedy Democrat to a Reagan Republican. At the end, he had at home what my brother termed “an altar” to McCain/Palin. Sad, he was otherwise smart and normally reasonable.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Likewise. I don’t think he can win, but it alarms and distresses me that the more bigoted and unhinged he gets, the larger his numbers. Finding myself looking askance at my fellow citizens, wondering…

          • Land Shark

            My pat answer to them is, “So, exactly when is Obama coming for your guns? I’ve been waiting a looooong time.”

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Mine is usually “You do know Obama was elected by a majority vote twice. TWICE. Twice in a row and without the SCOTUS even stepping in to over turn the popular vote. Right?”

            It used to be penis size, though.

          • Land Shark

            “Is that millimeters or centimeters?”

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            SSSSoooooo, just how tiny is your penis anyway? I mean, are we talking fingernail or baby fingernail sized? When you get all hawt and bothered, does it show? Does your partner generally end coitus with a bored, “Is it in, yet?” Did you go without a circumcision because you were afraid they would not be able to find the part to keep? When you whack off, do you use your forefinger and thumb, or just the forefinger?

            *wallows in it a moment*

          • Land Shark

            Oh, my. You’re quite the study.

          • Zippy

            they really are quite dumb, it’s almost embarrassing to pick on them

          • Land Shark

            A response to my comment “Maybe Trump should think before he speaks:”

            Nah…. Trump does very well for himself.
            Muslims should be listed….. then deported

            This is what dumb looks like?

        • Land Shark

          I may have opened the gates to the underworld by posting there. Some of those trolls may pass through to our Wonkette. If so, I apologize to Shypixel in advance for having to wield the Banhammer.

          • dshwa

            What did you go with? “So editing this video is bad but editing the Planned Parenthood video is OK?”

          • Land Shark

            “And the Michigan Governor is going to stop Syrian refugees in his state how again?”

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Let them come. BRING. IT. ON.
            Or don’t. I can live with or without them tbh. I like my wonkette because I don’t have to read through the comments and try and ignore the stomach churning ones to get to the smart and funny ones.
            For ya’ll are so very very smart and funny and I love you all <3<3 In a purely plutonic solidarity sort of I do not know you way

      • Zippy

        I no can do- I finally got under Jimbob’s skin to the point he banned me

    • cousin itt

      The Dumbpundit is more desperate than usual always desperate. It’s what he is.

    • dshwa

      He’s working hard to regain the crown, since the ginger usurper Chuck Johnson stole it from him last year.

  • cousin itt

    Must credit the Rude Pundit: Check this out. It’s from the New York Times on Sunday, November 28, 1976, so almost exactly 39 years ago. The title pretty much gives the game away: “9 Cuban Refugees Go on Trial in Miami Tomorrow, Putting Focus on Terrorists’ Activities in South Florida.” The article is pretty stunning to look at now, in our current context, and it’s important, so listen:
    “Nine Cuban refugees are to go on trial here Monday in the murder of Luciano Nieves, an exile leader who had advocated a United States dialogue with Cuba. The case, in which four other suspects are still at large, will focus new attention on Miami’s Cuban terrorists, who are a major force in the city’s Latin-American community, according to the authorities.” Yeah, see, the terrorists even belonged to a group with a name, the Pragmatistas, and they could hide in the Cuban community.

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2015/11/hey-cruz-and-rubio-you-know-that-cuban.html?m=1

  • dshwa

    What, nobody told us how we were going to burn in hell this week? Boring trolls are boring.

    • cousin itt

      Look, I refuse to burn in hell without first marinating in an upscale brandy first.

      • Land Shark

        And fava beans. I won’t burn in Hell without fava beans. And maybe a nice Chianti.

        • cousin itt

          Obv.

          • dshwa

            I’d prefer a good bourbon, but your point is well taken.

          • Msgr_Moment

            I’m finding this post very difficult to marinate to.

          • dshwa

            It’s something to stew to.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            My meat man’s name is Stew.

          • Beulah

            Perhaps you need the help of a master baster.

      • Zippy

        dry rub or GTFO!

  • Msgr_Moment

    OT, but it must be another GOP debate on TBS right now. I think I heard Dr. Carson singing, “If I Only Had a Brain”.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      TBS? They’re doing it on the channel of Law and Order re-runs?

      • Land Shark

        And Trump is the Cowardly Lion?

        • Vecciojohn

          Contest: who plays Toto and why?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            oohhh maybe Turner Networks will colorize this debate.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            There you go, playing the black and white Oz card again.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Sorry sorry, my liebral brother was over today and I slipped, I SWEAR

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You and your mangy little dog, too!

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Dayum. You guys are weirder than I thought.

          • Zippy

            All you get is Uncle Ben, no other coloreds allowed

          • janecita

            I was going to say Fiorina, but I didn’t want to sound sexist. So, Rubio, because he looks eager and not terribly bright

          • Vecciojohn

            He can say “Muslims!” upon command. Just be sure he gets his treat afterwards.

          • cousin itt

            These guys?

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Rosannnaa Rosannnaaaaaa

          • FauxAntocles

            Don’t go down to Africa, the RWNJs will really shit themselves.

          • cousin itt

            Or, this mover of shit and piss?

          • Vecciojohn

            Is it intelligent design?

          • Zippy

            his hairpiece

          • MsAnthropesMr

            DJs with no taste?

            And so MARY was enticed away from Joe
            By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket
            Lured into a life of SLEAZERY
            With the entire road crew of some Famous Rock Group (I don’t know whether it
            wasToad-O… I don’t know… I’ll check it out)
            Again we see MUSIC
            Causing BIG TROUBLE!

          • Vecciojohn

            Let me guess: Green Crack, THC 19.6%, CBD 0.28%.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Enforcing the laws that haven’t been written yet….

          • pumpkinspiceheroincat

            Dong work for Yuda.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            TAKE MEE TO THE FALCUM!

        • theCryptofishist

          I dunno. He’s always had a lot of “nerve.”

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Doink-DOink.

        • Vecciojohn

          Kuh-CHUNK.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            These are their bland, and highly formulaic stories.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Be nice, I liked Law and Order. In part because when the theme came on, my then toddler would do this bouncing dance to it, up and down. It was funny as all get out. But in another part because I dig the crime stories, from Perry on up (or, down, as the case may be)

            Edit: Yes, even Murder she Wrote and Father Dowling.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            MATLOCKKKK!!!!

          • Bitter Scribe

            Jerry Orbach rocked.

          • LarkintheAM

            Then you must be SHER-locked. *g*

          • Vecciojohn

            The police, who arrest the Negro, and the prosecutors, who slam his black ass in jail for life without parole.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            No no, that’s real life. In that, they arrest the Black man, only to turn him loose when it turns out to be the divorced wife’s brother extracting revenge.

          • Vecciojohn

            These plot twists are sometimes bewildering to me. That’s why I like Murder She Wrote.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Or Columbo, where you see the crime committed at the beginning.

          • Vecciojohn

            I like he does that “just one more thing” thing.

          • Zippy

            Columbo was awesome at that- just one more question…

          • Biff52

            I always thought it was the cockatoo that was the brains.

          • Vecciojohn

            There was always that one thing that bothered him. And you know, it always turned out to be the key to the whole thing.

          • kaw143

            Murder She Wrote always baffled me. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why people were happy when Jessica Fletcher showed up for a visit. I mean: they had to know someone was going to wind up dead the instant they saw her, right?

          • Vecciojohn

            But that’s just the thing. Because who ever thinks there’s going to be a murder? In everyday life? Not me.

          • kaw143

            Well, I suppose if she weren’t publicizing the fact that she solved at least one murder a week, I could grant that, yes, on the whole, I don’t expect a murder to just happen to happen in my real life, so this innocent-looking elderly lady showing up probably wouldn’t raise any alarms.

            But, here’s the thing: why WOULDN’T she publicize that? Because SHE WAS THE MURDERER ALL ALONG? It would be irresponsible not to conjecture.

          • Vecciojohn

            Well, I can’t argue with a scientist like yourself. You just be in Mensa.

          • kaw143

            But, of course. Isn’t everybody?

            No, seriously: isn’t that on Ben Stein’s CV? If they think he is smart, they’ve got some pretty low standards.

          • William_C_Diaz

            Where would you ‘extract’ vengeance from, exactly? I always thought it was ‘exacted’ with an ‘Exact-o’ knife of something?

            Have a great day!

    • Zippy

      or a heart, or courage

      • janecita

        Or a cool pair of ruby slippers.

        • Land Shark

          The ruby slippers are Miss Lindsay’s! No touch!

        • sw19womble

          There’s no place like homeschooling

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      With the thoughts he’d be thinkin’ he could be another Lincoln.

  • Juan de Fuca

    “We are at a crossroads……there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are. Don’t you people study history? Know anything about Mao and China?”

    Allowing Syrian refugees (victims of a group we are responsible for creating) is really just another phase in Obama’s goal of abolishing private land ownership and the establishment of state owned agricultural communes.

    He’s figured it out – the Syrian refugees are coming here to start a peasant revolution.

    “If you hate America……there is the boat. Bye.”

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Right? Seems to me maybe these are the people who hate America. Or, at least, just everything America always says it stands for.
      Truth, justice and the American Way ™. Ever wonder what woulda happened if Superman crashed near Moscow?

      • Juan de Fuca

        Agreed. The hate is strong in these folks. In fact, the real irony is the thing they hate most about people such as Mao are the same things they use to support their own views on the Internet. Who wishes that somebody else gets their head “chopped off”? Seriously. It’s hilarious in a way but…who does that? And he’s worried about ISIS? I’m worried for him.

        • Land Shark

          See what no professional help and free internet has done to “political” discourse?

          • John Smith

            I think the only reason Republicans cut funding for mental health services is its the only way they could get anyone to release them.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          It’s xenophobia and hate, combined. With a lot of pants pissing.

        • FauxAntocles

          For and about – he’s one who will shoot preemptively.

        • William_C_Diaz

          As you know, I was in a ‘line’ battalion and I dont know how it is in perilegular MOSs like ‘Intelligence’, but I would have no problem wishing that some ignorant internet ‘tough guy’ be in some way inserted into the ‘death arena’ based on comments they have made. As far as I have gotten down that continuum is wishing upon some people that they be captured by the Taliban, based on their comments vis a vis SGT Bergdahl, but it isnt that far down the line to actively wish death on someone (and in many ways I could imagine that being held captive by the Taliban might be worse than a good clean death).

          When I see people advocating nuclear genocide on millions of innocent people, how could you not be pushed to wish death on someone who would murder more than 15% of the world’s population based on something as silly as the name by which they pray to their God? Im not a hypocrite, but still a killer and all the college, medical and scientific training hasnt changed that about my nature, just changed the tools and targets which I fight. There is damn little justice in this world and much of what there is is accidental, IMO and having looked death in the face on more occasions than Id like to count, it is not something to wish upon others (hence my opposition to unnecessary wars and the death penalty).

          But having said all that, there has been a sufficiency of evil thought and intent expressed that it puts me into ‘What If/’ land. What if this nation was consumed by the same evil and wantonly murderous behavior that marked late 30’s Germany? Who would you be, a Quisling or a John Brown? Would you claim ignorance of the death camp next door, or would you be one of the people who died to expose the evil within?

          Im not talking fanaticism here, but how we might view the logical extension of the oath we took long ago. If our country was invaded, with my training and knowledge base (damn good chemist), I can imagine that it would make me a fearsome freedom fighter. Poison gas, explosives, chemical poisons, biological weapons, incendiary devices, what would you do to fight for your country? Im not afraid of a foreign invader though, the true danger to the freedom and rights we now enjoy are already within. Im an old crippled hippy now and I dont want to fight anyone, but what if we become what we most fear and/or despise?

          Have a great day!

          • Juan de Fuca

            It will hopefully never come down to that Mr. Diaz and if it did, then indeed there would be many surprised to find out just how many liberals there are out here who know how to fight far better than they ever expected. Go to the beach bro. Chillax.
            ATW ABN also, too.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            I can’t fight for shit, but I can push that little red button on the stick like a motherfucker.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          The hate is strong, but the derp is stronger. Also too the cowardice.

      • marxalot

        Have you read “Red Son?” It’s not as good as it should be, operating on that very premise, but it’s still one of the best Superman books, IMHO.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Am I just somehow missing all the headlines about insurrectionary communists waging a guerrilla war in the US?

      • sw19womble

        It’s the Liebrul media at work again!

    • pumpkinspiceheroincat

    • Bammac

      (Laughing) Those sneaky fuckers….

  • Vecciojohn

    You know who else went down to the crossroads?

    • Zippy

      Ralph Macchio?

      • MsAnthropesMr

        The Karate Kid gets funky.

    • Land Shark

      The Devil? No that was Georgia …. ¡Jeb! maybe?

    • Enfant Terrible
      • Land Shark

        Elmore James?

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        I’d kill for fingers that could do that…

      • Vecciojohn

        Correct!

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Eric Clapton?

      • Vecciojohn

        I’d forgotten about that. And me an old Cream-o-phile.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PE9HvSdcaL4

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Cream was great!

          • Vecciojohn

            Fuckin’ A. I think they should have stayed together at least another year.

            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZX06inW2hK4

          • Vegan and Tiara

            So many great bands back then, and not all of them featuring Eric Clapton.

          • Vecciojohn

            He used to be God.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            He still is, just a bit of an old God at this point.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Bone Thugs N Harmony?

      • Vecciojohn

        No, I don’t think so. But thanks for playing our game.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Disqus’ network routers trying to figure out what Open Shortest Path First means?
      I’ll show myself out with that one..

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        I chuckle every time I see that “Diqsuq seems to be taking longer than usual…”. Diqsuq *always* takes longer than usual. That *is* usual…

    • Vienna Woods

      Someone who wasn’t usin’ his everlasting soul?

      • Vecciojohn

        Well, yes, but I mean who else?

    • sw19womble

      1970’s British soap opera addicts?

      • Vecciojohn

        I don’t know, but I’m going to guess yes.

    • TheBidenator

      Tommy Johnson? Ya know, the guy who sold his soul to the devil years before Robert Johnson did? Man, Dick Cheney sure does loves to collect the souls of black blues men…

      • Vecciojohn

        They keep him alive and promote remarkably regular bowel movements.

  • Zippy
    • Land Shark

      There’s that dang Mason-Dixon line again ….

    • RoyalUglyDude

      It doesn’t explain what’s the matter with Kansas.

      • Zippy

        I have a feeling that’s an outlier

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My thinking exactly. Kansas has been voting anything but intelligently lately.

    • LarkintheAM

      Why did Minnesota elect Jesse Ventura their governor, hennnngh? Not to mention send One-L Michele to the House for 4 terms. Methinks whatever it is this chart is measuring, it ain’t intelligence.

    • freshwaterdrum

      On that scale, I expected MS and AL to be “see-through”

  • RoyalUglyDude

    there will be no parties if we continue to allow things to continue as they are.

    Thus you must fight for your right to paaaar tay

    • Paperless Tiger

      No more parties? Fuck that. Maybe we should bomb the bastards some more. Then again, when did we ever stop?

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Actually I think he meant “panties”, out of which he and his ilk have all been scared…

        • cousin itt

          I wouldn’t necessarily have to be scared out of my panties.

    • Alex Grey

      NO… MORE… PARTIES!?!?!?!?

  • DemmeFatale

    I guess us guise aren’t True Americans.

    • John Smith

      I only live here under the guise of being American.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      That’s True Americans™, and boy howdy am I ever glad I’m not.

  • William_C_Diaz

    Im getting better at picking future stars in this column! I even got to ask ‘Chuck Cap’ is he was ‘Looking for a date, cupcake?’, before he was Banhammered underfoot and the lamentations of his mommy could be heard. It is always a sad thing to see people who have been erased from the pixels of time before you get there, because somehow it is almost impossible to reconstruct how batshiat some comments are without actually having read them.

    Have a great day!

  • Joshua Norton

    STOP The Muslin Invasion!
    .

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    we true Americans are getting fed up with this crap.

    Read
    more at
    http://wonkette.com/596294/deleted-comments-like-your-master-obama-wonkette-wants-to-destroy-america#AWkRIb0SRhWZir6v.99

    And us normal people have just about had it with all y’all True Americans™. Do please fuck off and die. But *not* at the hands of a terrorist*. Unlike y’all, we don’t go around wishing that on people. Even people like you.

    * It’s much more likely you’ll die at your own hands, or the hands of one of your friends. It’s also likely the words “Here, hold my beer…” will figure prominently in your passing…

  • Mr Sincere

    The common thread running through such comments is anger — even homicidal rage.

    Why so angry? Are their lives really being made SO bad? Are they really SO threatened?

    I think this rage is a bigger problem than the actual content of the opinions expressed, devoid of facts and logic though they are.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Just remember these are the same idiots who don’t want any restrictions whatsoever on gun ownership in America, and don’t really give a fuck when 10 or 20 people get mowed down by a crazy white guy with a gun.

      • geektastic

        And elect the assholes that vote down legislation to check gun purchasers against suspected terrorist lists.

  • sw19womble

    I’m rather concerned about the little kid in the middle of that picture, who is blatantly using the boy in front as a human shield: and – big giveaway – not giving the peace sign.

  • greyXstar

    Oh rad, the first Wonket troll I managed to get into it with made the deleted comments. I didn’t even prepare a speech or anything…

    Umm, first I’d like to thank the Great and Mighty Cthulhu for always being apethetic to our meaningless existence. Thank you to our mostly benevolent Overlords Editrix and Wonkebabby, and to Dok Zoom for his righteous wielding of the Loving Banhammer of Correction on commenters who don’t even exist on account of how Wonkette doesn’t even allow comments

  • kaw143

    I just saw this piece from Last Week Tonight, which explains it for the trolls better than I ever could.

    https://youtu.be/umqvYhb3wf4

    I didn’t know this was a thing before Wonkette linked to the bit about John Oliver’s church a few weeks back, and now I have YET ANOTHER WonkCrush to moon over.

    • geektastic

      He was wonderful tonight.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Hmmm… What was TRUMP doing in Jersey City – at the shoreline – just as the WTC collapsed??? Could it be he did it – perhaps to increase lower Manhattan office rents???

    • geektastic

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • Metadude

    I vote that we change our alt-name from NVLSM to “refugee-hugging bunch of queers site.”

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Seconded.

      • geektastic

        The motion is put to the floor. All in favor?

        Aye!

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I’m not sure Wonkette is a true democracy. I think Donna Rose is our benevolent dictator.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      I’m torn here. I have never hugged a refugee and I’m not queer (just a bit odd). On the other hand, I am quite nasty and vile and snarky…

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Why not Nasty Vile Snarky Bunch of Refugee- Hugging Queers? We are libtards after all, we can be inclusive

  • Billy Brennan

    Hello, I am deeply honored that you have selected my comments to be featured in your story. This is Solution1776. I would have very much appreciated to be given an opportunity to support my comments with history and fact, but the liberal response to facts is to employ ad hominem attacks and to then subsequently silence the opposition…..as you have done.

    I can support my positions with facts, can you? I am willing to debate you anytime, anywhere, and any place. Of course, most likely, I will again be attacked and this account will be blocked. Do I really care that you blocked my account, no, but then to use my comments without providing me a forum to support them is pretty cowardly.

    I like that meme you posted with the refugee children that we conservatives want to ‘hurt’…only one problem, the majority of those refugees are male muslims at prime fighting age. Why are they coming here, shouldn’t they be fighting for their country? Just an observation.

    Bragging about your Ph.D. in rhetoric does not impress me. I, too, possess a Ph.D., but in physics. I am one of those scientists who believes in God. I know, I am just such a horrible waste of human flesh. Strange how you hate Christians but love muslims. By the way, I am against the death penalty.

    Yes, there is an incredible amount of rage and anger in this country, do you really not know why? Are you really that far removed from reality? I wish no one to be killed and no, I am not an inherently angry person, I have hobbies and friends and many interests which bring me happiness. I am simply a Patriot worried about the future of his country. If you cannot appreciate that, I am sorry.

    • herrointment

      Lot to hate about all religions, Billy.

      Good luck with the patriotism!

    • natoslug

      It’s not your site, not your rules. Create your own site if you want somewhere to post your already-disproven bullshit and cowardice. Hopefully you will be silenced again, because you aren’t funny, you aren’t original, and you are consistently incorrect.

      • Billy Brennan

        Then don’t take my comments out of context to push your agenda. You have disproved nothing and I know you will not debate me.

        • natoslug

          “The author of this article wants muslim refugees. I am sorry, it is NOT OUR FUCKING JOB to take in radical muslims.” Your words. Since the article was about taking in Syrian refugees, I had to assume that you consider all Syrian refugees to be Muslim, which is incorrect, and that you either consider all Muslims or all Syrian Muslims to be radical Muslims. There is nothing to debate — you proved yourself to either be incredibly ill-informed or to be a pants-shitting coward and a liar. Either way, there is nothing left to debate at this time.

          Your follow-up includes the argument that we all hate Christianity and love Islam, which is easily disproven by quickly perusing this site. There are commenters from quite a few religions here, as well as commenters like myself who find ourselves unencumbered by religion. Once again, it turns our you are either incredibly ill-informed or a liar. I don’t really care which.

          You had other arguments, but I would have to scroll up if I were to address them, and frankly, I’ve wasted more than enough time on you. Good day, and bless your heart, you special little snowflake.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            *Golf clap.*

    • ChicagoLovesYou

      If you really are the same person, which I doubt, since you seem moderately sane, then you don’t get to turn it around and say you were attacked. It’s one thing to express a difference of opinion, it’s quite another to express that you wish violence on anyone who disagrees with you. You’ll note that while you received a number of blunt and sarcastic replies, no one here responded to you with anything even remotely resembling a statement like “Fuck off…..I hope you all get beheaded by an Islamic terrorist. I hope they move to your neighborhood and implement Shari’a law.”

      • Billy Brennan

        Again, you took it out of context. I think you know the point I was trying to make, but you just ignored it.

        • ChicagoLovesYou

          I shouldn’t be bothering, but here’s the context:

          TheBidenator: For the love of all that is anything, refusing these refugees is not
          lessening the possibility of terrorism it is RAISING it by creating lots
          of angry, resentful people with loved ones who are now DEAD because of
          you ‘moral’ Christian turds. Besides, chances are that ISIL turrists
          won’t be Syrian nationals because Syria is one of three majority Shiite
          states in the region and ISIL is a Sunni nationalist organization. So
          it’s a lot of dumb with real consequences for people who need help being
          refused by ignorant, scared white people out of Christian nationalism.
          Also, did anyone see Jeb?Jeb?JEB! wants us to only help Christians over
          there because obviously we can guarantee no terrorists will receive
          aid…..he’s so smrt and compassionate.

          You: You people really are sick. I mean, really fucking sick. You are just
          like your master Obama……you really want to destroy America. You
          make me and my fellow Americans sick. You are not Americans, you are
          traitors. The millions of soliders who died to protect your rights to
          spew this vile shit mean nothing to you, do they. Fuck off…..I hope
          you all get beheaded by an Islamic terrorist. I hope they move to your
          neighborhood and implement Shari’a law. Why don’t you all move out of
          this country if you hate it so much. You sick fucking people.

          The point you were trying to make is that anyone who doesn’t think like you is un-American and is fine with terrorists coming to the US. I got it; it was just too absurd to provide a serious response the first time around.

          • Billy Brennan

            We are not in the business of appeasing terrorists. If their families want to blame us for not accepting refugees, so be it…..it is their Islamic ideology which created this in the first place.
            I am sorry, but islam is a violent ideology and it is not compatible with American values. If you want to debate me on this, I will have my friend talk to you, he was a muslim who converted to atheism. He will tell you first hand what they taught in his ‘moderate and peaceful’ mosque.
            Can you guarantee that no American will be killed by a Syrian refugee in the name of allah? Can you? And what if that one American is someone you love? One American life is too many.
            And why are 72% of refugees men?

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            No I cannot guarantee that no refugee will ever commit a terrorist attack. I also can’t guarantee that no white immigrant will become the next Timothy McVeigh. But I do believe that with the vetting process we have, it will reduce the chance to such a minuscule level that it becomes part of the risk we take of having a free society. If we want to eliminate the risk of terrorism, then we would need to completely isolate ourselves from the world and establish a dictatorship on par with North Korea. No thanks.

          • cousin itt

            Therefore, ideology = values?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Of the ~12K gun deaths in the USA last year, how many of the shooters would have identified themselves as Christians?

            Thanks, I’ll take my chances with a knife wielding jihadi.

          • LarkintheAM

            You are just refusing to accept reality, aren’t you? That 72% number is BOGUS, as has been proven over and over and over again. And even if it applied to the refugees currently crossing into Europe (which it does not), it most emphatically DOES NOT apply to the refugees who have been waiting in displacement camps for 2 bloody years being vetted up one side and down the other to get into this country. Would a Ph.D. in physics refuse to accept multiple sources of evidence which all come to to same conclusion? I’m placing my money on “no”, so you are a liar. I’m also guessing that “one American life is too many” statement also does not include anyone from the list of Americans you don’t like, especially since you are wishing for the lot of us to die at the end of a jihadist sword.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Can you guarantee that no American will be killed by a crazy right wing militia goober in the name of Jesus? Oops, too late!

        • Callyson

          And in what context is the statement “Fuck off…..I hope you all get beheaded by an Islamic terrorist. I hope they move to your neighborhood and implement Shari’a law.” constitute anything other than wishing violence on those who disagree with you?

          • natoslug

            He meant with votes?

          • BloviateMe

            Yeah but, I’m sure he meant to add a smiley face to his death wishes Cally! That’s totally disarming.

          • natoslug

            That’s why I always wear a “Have a nice day!” shirt when I strangle anyone.

          • BloviateMe

            See now, that’s a nice touch today’s youth just doesn’t get.

          • Billy Brennan

            Let me spell it out for you. You advocate accepting Syrian refugees, of which 72% are men. I said it is a dangerous decision. Read what I said as “if you want Syrian refugees to come into America and you believe it to be safe, let them live in your neighborhood or in your home, but don’t be surprised if they cut off your head.” Yes, the statement I made was made in anger, but you should be able to read between the lines.

            I do not really wish your head to be cut off….it was rhetorical in nature.

          • natoslug

            You want to debate, but you want to have everyone read between the lines? Do you know how a debate works? Have you ever had conversation with a real live human before?

          • Billy Brennan

            More attacks. lol.

          • Callyson

            And since I just showed you a credible source that says your “72%” figure is inaccurate, you flunked out of the spelling bee. Thanks for playing!

          • Billy Brennan

            My source is the UN. Thank you for playing.

          • Callyson

            OK, then you should have no problem providing a link (like I did.) Seriously, I’d love to check your source out for myself, because from the same link you didn’t bother to read before trying to disprove earlier:

            We have seen a different set of UNHCR numbers cited on a few conservative websites — figures for refugees and migrants who have tried to enter Europe by crossing the Mediterranean Sea. There have been more than 400,000 such “sea arrivals” in 2015, and 51 percent are Syrian. The rest have come mainly from nine other countries. Most of these refugees and migrants have been men — 72 percent — but these are not figures on Syrian refugees or even solely the 200,000-some Syrians who have been willing to take some type of boat to reach Europe by sea.

            Go ahead, give us all the source that disproves this, troll…

          • Billy Brennan

            So what is your point? That some of the refugees aren’t from Syria?
            Let me break it down a bit further. 43% of all refugees from the Syrian war are men aged 18-34.

          • BloviateMe

            102% of you is dumb. Let me spell it out:

            LINK A GOD DAMNED SOURCE.

          • Callyson

            Still no source, And you trolls wonder why we like to make fun of you…

          • Alex Grey

            It’s like shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun.

    • Callyson

      The author of this article wants muslim refugees. I am sorry, it is NOT OUR FUCKING JOB to take in radical muslims

      OK–show me the proof that the refugees are all radical Muslims. Even the children and babies.

      the majority of those refugees are male muslims at prime fighting age

      Wrong:

      United Nations’ figures show women outnumber men, and children 11 years old and younger, male and female, account for 38.5 percent of all refugees…

      50.5 percent of refugees are women. Females age 18 to 59 make up 23.9 percent of the refugees, while males in that age group make up 21.8 percent.

      Even younger males — age 12 to 17 — represent 6.5 percent of refugees, while females that age are 6.1 percent. The majority of refugees — 51.1 percent — are under age 17, including 38.5 percent who are younger than 12 years old. These numbers were as of Sept. 6.

      So, yeah, I can’t say I appreciate someone who claims to be able to back up his claims but who gets basic facts wrong.

      • Billy Brennan

        Not sure where you got you information, but it states 72% of the refugees from the Syrian war are, in fact, men. Not only that, but the vast majority are muslim and desire sharia law.

        • natoslug

          Pretty sure she got her United Nations figures from factcheck.org, which you would have seen if you actually looked at the link she provided. Although the totally realistic ones you pulled out of your ass are nice too. Or should we use your link? Oh wait . . .

          Another nice place to check for statistics on Syrian refugees might be the actual UN, http://data.unhcr.org/syrianrefugees/regional.php which fails to support your amazing statistics.

          • Billy Brennan

            Read my reply to her.

          • sw19womble

            72% of rightwing trolls are made out of 23% salted rat dicks, 34% Boehner tears, 5% Fox ticker “facts” and 41% Cheeto dust.

        • Callyson

          What natoslug said–don’t argue against my sources if you don’t bother to read my quote from them or what they have to say, troll…

        • gene108

          This is a bit late to the Party but the paragraph from the link you disingenuously distort:

          We have seen a different set of UNHCR numbers cited on a few conservative websites — figures for refugees and migrants who have tried to enter Europe by crossing the Mediterranean Sea. There have been more than 400,000 such “sea arrivals” in 2015, and 51 percent are Syrian. The rest have come mainly from nine other countries. Most of these refugees and migrants have been men — 72 percent — but these are not figures on Syrian refugees or even solely the 200,000-some Syrians who have been willing to take some type of boat to reach Europe by sea.

          The people who will be coming to America are not those, who risked their lives in boat crossings to Europe. They are the people, as noted above, who are in the refugee camps.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      “shouldn’t they be fighting for their country?”

      Should’t you be?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      “Bragging about your Ph.D. in rhetoric does not impress me. I, too, possess a Ph.D…”

      Yours seems to impress you.

      Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. An advanced degree in rhetoric is much more germane to the topic at hand than is one in physics.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      You need a PhD in how to find your ass with both hands. Or at least a grammar school diploma.

    • Lord-Nash

      This photo of Billy has recently been found…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Read: I work the night shift at 7-11, live with my mom, and use the computer at the public library.

  • DantesE

    From that picture that runs with abbott story to I can see why the are askirt of them refugees. I mean look at that girl on the end to the left (hint hint) hiding her face with a peace sign. Or that third boy from the left (again) waving. If that group in general or those two in particular got here it would be an invasion of terminal cute impossible to fight. Any texun especially that gubnor say sumthing they just put a picture of that girl or that boy or both with a sad face and they’re doomed doomed I tell ya. Also two have smiley faces when Bernie talks. Those kids truly R a terrible weapon. Like having a my little pony strawberry short cake special forces.

  • Billy Brennan

    Wow….all the hate in these comments, but nothing of substance. And you call me the ‘hater’. Just regurgitated liberal indoctrination. I read somewhere that America created ISIS, that is just plain BS. Obama’s feckless foreign policy led to the growth of ISIS, but we did not create it. The teachings of mohammed created ISIS.

    • Alex Grey

    • Callyson

      LOL, a person who makes an inflammatory charge based on something he “read somewhere” says that our comments have no substance.

      • Alex Grey

        It’s too bad there isn’t a tool that can search a globally spanning network of information, for the identity of source material…

        • ChicagoLovesYou

          Like an interconnection of networks, perhaps “internet” for short.

          • BloviateMe

            I heard Al Gore was dabbling in just such a thing.

          • sw19womble

            Maybe create a series of tubes to link it all together!

          • natoslug

            I’d use trucks.

    • Biff52

      In your own words, fuck off.

      Or did I take them out of context?

    • BloviateMe

      Yeah no. From what I understand, and to paraphrase thusly, ISIS is different than al qaeda, inasmuch as they consider themselves an actual caliphate. An actual caliphate depends on actually having territory, something they NEVER would have had, had not W created the very instability an organization like ISIS needed to rise and take land and declare an actual caliph.

      • Billy Brennan

        Now you are arguing inconsequential semantics. Islam is the source of the problem. Bush and Obama made it worse, but Islam is the root cause.

        • BloviateMe

          I’m arguing actual details and distinctions of the latest threat. I’ve no idea how that is considered “semantics,” unless you have no firm ground to stand upon.

          Also, inconsequential? If it’s inconsequential, then why the fuck are you here blathering on about this huge threat?

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          Much too vague to have any real meaning.

          That’s like me blaming the USA for you.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I absolutely blame the US for these guys. It is all that free speech we have, but which does not apply to liberals, we just need to shut up, open our eyes and hate or we are not True Americans ™

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            And Da’ish says Shia (men without beards, Sunnis who don’t say “you are Kalif”,etc) aren’t real Musims, and they need to shut up and do as they are told or better, die.

            Same-same.

            Bigotry.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Um, no, it was Bush’s illegal war in Iraq and idiotic foreign policy that lead to ISIS. That along with deep state meddling(which exists outside specific administrations) in Syria by arming anti Assad rebel fighters.

      • Alex Grey

        And if you want to go further back, the whole clusterfuck the Allies made of the Middle East after WWII.

      • Billy Brennan

        No….islam has been around for 1400 years…..way before Bush. Conversion of all non-muslims is the primary goal of islam. It is not about revenge on America, it is about eradicating all non-Islamic religions.

        • BloviateMe

          Sounds like you’re on a real Crusade here, tiger!

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            I see what you did there

          • BloviateMe

            Ten jihads and four fatwas says Billy don’t get it.

          • Callyson

            Honestly, it’s not even worth flagging SP’s full name to get the attention of this troll. I’ll give him credit for using correct spelling and grammar, for the most part, and I do have to admire his ability completely to ignore the actual evidence that goes against his party line…

          • Billy Brennan

            You are just denying the evidence, but think what you wish. Good night.

          • Callyson

            It’s hard to ignore what isn’t actually present. Case in point: the evidence against your claims, which you still have not presented.

          • Vecciojohn

            Oh, don’t torment the poor creature.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            In addition to dead Muslims (and Christians), the Crusaders did leave some lovely castles in the ME.

        • Callyson

          And now for a visit to the reality-based community:

          In 2003, the U.S. military, on orders of President Bush, invaded Iraq, and nineteen days later threw out Saddam’s government. A few days after that, President Bush or someone in his Administration decreed the dissolution of the Iraqi Army. This decision didn’t throw “thirty thousand individuals” out of a job, as Ziedrich said—the number was closer to ten times that. Overnight, at least two hundred and fifty thousand Iraqi men—armed, angry, and with military training—were suddenly humiliated and out of work.

          This was probably the single most catastrophic decision of the American venture in Iraq. In a stroke, the Administration helped enable the creation of the Iraqi insurgency.

          And then:

          One of the men who lost his job was, according to a major recent report by the German magazine Der Spiegel, a key architect of the Islamic State.>

          PS: Islam has been around for 1400 years and yet ISIS just got rolling a few years ago. Not exactly what I’d call a strong causal relationship there…

          • ChicagoLovesYou

            Yep. Even after the terrible decision to invade Iraq, we probably could have salvaged things if not for that.

          • Billy Brennan

            Today’s incarnation of the Islamic terrorist movement began in 1928, long before Bush and Obama. As I said, they exacerbated it, but it was always there. I think Bush was horrible too, so I agree with you there.

          • gene108

            Replied to wrong comment.

          • steve damon

            Douglas Feith. Office of Special Projects. The most egregiously stupid dual-citizenship neocon war criminal in a room full of them. Last time I checked in on Dougie he was lining his pockets out of a neocon think tank called the Hudson Institute. His history is definitely worth looking into.

        • sw19womble

          And… Christianity has been around for 2000 years… Way before Obama. Conversion of all non-christians is the primary goal of Christianity. It is not about revenge on Iraq or the Middle East, it is about eradicating all non-christian religions… xx

          • Billy Brennan

            Are you honestly comparing the two? Really? Ok. I hope you are just being facetious.

          • BloviateMe

            Abrahamic gods both, no?

          • Alex Grey

            You beat me to it.

          • BloviateMe

            I was scared to reply, on account of his honest to god Ph.D in Physics, but I did anyways.

          • Alex Grey

            He might use his =ma against you.

          • Relativicus

            No.

            It’s the same one.

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            At least Islam had a prophet. Your brand of Christianity was likely started by King Henry VIII who was horny wanted a divorce and some fresh pussy.

          • Msgr_Moment

            Is this the first you’ve thought about the connection? Ok. I hope you are just being facetious.

        • Enfant Terrible

          You should read what actual religious scholars say about Islam, not some random hate site. The Muslim worldwide community *abhors* DAESH. Because DAESH’s religious doctrine is a hodge-podge of out-of-context quotations from the Quran, flavored with some made-up shit. They are about as Islamic as the KKK is Christian.

          • sw19womble

            I like the “Love for all, hatred for none” guys.

          • Vecciojohn

            Oh, you fuzzy thinking intellectuals with your facts and numbers and Cartisian dualism.

          • BloviateMe

            In Texas, you can identify them by their pointy heads.

          • Enfant Terrible

            Fuzzy math! Fuzzy math! Hehehehe!

        • Lizzietish81

          I know this is pointless since you’ve been banhammered but…

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpcbfxtdoI8

        • Lizzietish81

          And since I’ve had to recently link that video, I’ll link the second season’s video

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka8csjsmX6I

        • Anarchy Pony

          Must be why every muslim murders everyone around them at all times if they aren’t also muslim. Oh wait they don’t…

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Sorry, Billy. That shitshow is all the fault of Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz and the neocons. There’s no use pretending otherwise.

      • Vecciojohn

        We are unanimous. As Wellington told his men: You must shoot straight. You must never tell a lie. And you must hate a neocon as you would the very devil.

        • BloviateMe

          Are we allowed to ogle their tits before we hate them? I mean, it doesn’t matter to ME, I just like to detail the rules, for the group…

          • sw19womble

            The neocon caucus is full of tits. It could take you some time.

          • Vecciojohn

            God forgives American soldiers for any naughty thoughts they may have, as long as they apologize to Jesus after they die. It’s cruel, but it’s fair.

        • cousin itt

          The devil you say?

          • Vecciojohn

            Well, as me ole Irish granny usta say, better the devil ye know, or any other devil, come to think of it, than that festering pile of decayed salted rat dicks, Dick fhe Dick Cheney.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Well, there was also all that jihad money flowing in from the conservatives in Turkey, the folks in Qatar, UAE, and Saudi Arabia.

        Mostly Saudi Arabia. That’s also where most of the jihadis came from. More so than any other single country. That’s also where most of the pro-Da’ish social media online fanboys seem to live.

        Just sayin’. Much as I would like to blame it all on Bush-the-invader to opened it all up to a giant fubar theater of proxy wars between the Shia-led folks and the Salafi-sect, denounce-all-Shia-as-Apostates-and-we-must-kill-all-100-million-of-them folks whose galactic epicenter is Saudi Arabia, this mess and others across the region and Africa aren’t going to stop as long as the Jihadi-we-will-send-you-money-to-blow-crap-up-and-kill-people network keeps rewarding and funding the spread of militancy.

    • Vecciojohn

      Oh yeah? Oh yeah?! Well come over here and say that! I dare ya! I dare ya, ya little pussy! That’s right, pussy boy. You heard me. Go ahead. Take a swing at me, you little fuck nose. Take a swing at me, you little ass licking homo. You fat little fuck, you have tits like a girl. Fatty! Fat fuck!

      • Vecciojohn

        I wish to apologize most humbly for my previous remarks. I have been on some medication that has had a deleterious effect on my judgment on some unfortunate occasions in recent weeks and, in some cases, months. I beg everyone’s pardon.

        • Alex Grey

          You did that wrong. it should go like this.
          “I apologize if any of my remarks offended anyone.”

          • Vecciojohn

            All right. I’m unhappy to hear some of the slower students couldn’t appreciate the more nuanced levels of my previous discourse. Permit me to start afresh.

            Cowboys suck. Jesus hates them. The end.

          • cousin itt

            Amen, brother. Now I shall smite their cheerleaders with my staff O’Justice.

          • Vecciojohn

            You know they love it.

          • Msgr_Moment

            Debbie Does Penance.

        • Juan de Fuca

          You’re pissed because the Cowboys WON TODAY. Tony Fucking Romo is back people! Don’t call it a comeback…

          • Vecciojohn

            The Cowpersons aren’t going to do shit this year and everyone knows it. #suckstoliveindallas

          • BloviateMe

            No one is calling it a comeback, so much as a cute diversion.

            Signed, angry Vikes fan who wanted to beat the hated Cheesers.

          • cousin itt

            Counter-signed in Denver,

            1980s. We are so over.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Vikings won on every stat but one … too bad it was the score.

          • cousin itt

            Like, who would come on his back?

          • BloviateMe

            Jerry Jones, obv.

          • cousin itt

            That’s just really such a low blow. Rly?

          • BloviateMe
          • cousin itt

            Bottoms up!

          • cousin itt

            Aye, the plot stiffens…

        • cousin itt

          I have been on some medication that has had a deleterious effect on my judgment

          Sharing is caring.

          • Vecciojohn

            Bro!

          • cousin itt

            Dood!

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          I admire your restraint.

        • Suttree

          I too, also take rage-ahol.

        • Biff52

          Does this so-called “medication” include a wee dram of Canadian Whisky? Could ‘splain a lot.

          • Vecciojohn

            So you know it’s Canadian whisky, not whiskey. Let’s hear you pronounce “about.”

          • Biff52

            I spent some summers in Canada City as a ute, you can’t drag me in that easily, eh?

            What was this aboot, anyway?

            sorey…

          • Vecciojohn

            Well played, my friend. Very well played indeed.

          • Biff52

            Truth be told, I was an equal opportunity drunk when I still imbibed. Well, almost. I never could gag down Scotch, even the better single malts. Bourbon was my brown liquor of choice, but occasionally, a bottle of CC or Crown Royal ended up in my arsenal.

            Surprised I survived, really.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Provider #6 bids 200 quatloos.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Al Queda in Iraq transformed into Da’ish in 2006. AQI was a response to our invasion.

      Our invasion was 1/2 of the equation. More important than even antipathy toward Western values in formulating that response (which I won’t downplay, because like USA-grown fundamentalists, Salafi-sect fundies imagine themselves under siege by the forces of Satan, secularists, modernists, and everybody who doesn’t share their world view and some who do), was the power shift created by a Iran-friendly Shia led Iraq government.

      Bush’s buddy Prince Bandar bin Sultan, himself, once said Sunnis would rise up and kill every last Shia (all 100 million of them). He was the head of Saudi Intelligence until 2014, and he was a little holocaust cheerleader.

      How do you think Da’ish got legs in the first place? How to you think AQI got funding? Sure, we have highlighted monies through smuggling, etc, but most of the money flowing to these militant groups comes from donations.

      So.. while you are busy postulating the “Magic Negro Broke Everything Hypothesis”, you might want to take a break from your unhinged narrative and consider nothing we do ourselves is going to turn off the Angel Investor Startup Money that keeps flowing in from these Charities from countries like Qatar, UAE, Kuwait, and mostly Saudi Arabia who exports this brand of fundamentalist and has been doing so for as long as I can remember.

      Our problem isn’t with Muslims. It is with the Jerry Fallwell’s on steroids fundamentalists and more specifically with the militant groups and the fund raising network that supports them that includes very wealthy folks who are ostensibly “our allies”.

  • Billy Brennan

    It’s been fun….but gotta go. I have more important things to do than to argue with people who are still oblivious to what is happening to our once great country. I sincerely do pray that you wake up and realize it before it is too late. I am worried for all of us.
    Whether you believe in a divine mind or not, may God be with you.
    Good night.

    • Callyson

      So, we won’t be getting any supporting evidence from you to back up your claims. Thought not…

      • Billy Brennan

        I already did, you just choose to ignore.
        Good night.

        • sw19womble

          Ah the venerable “did too!” tactic.

          Does this mean I get to use the “oh yeah well you smell of wee” attack?

        • Callyson

          You provided a link where I can go to verify your claims? Where is that…oh, right, you didn’t do so because you can’t back up your claims with actual evidence.

          And since you first said good night ten minutes ago, let me be the first to express sympathy for your insomnia issues…

      • Billy Brennan

        You seem to be one of the more intelligent here. Email me billy.brennan1776@gmail.com if you want to continue this. I feel you might actually accept some evidence if I can show it to be concrete.

        • BloviateMe

          I actually and genuinely laughed out loud at that.

          You are correct the Cally is massively intelligent, but wow. You think she’s tempted to “debate” you in private?

          I feel like we’re in the presence of the oldest Duggar boy.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Craigslist ad up next…WTF

          • BloviateMe

            “you, me, a shetland pony and candle wax. reply if interested.”

          • Juan de Fuca

            I never post this but LMFAO

          • cousin itt

            Love that too also.

        • Callyson

          Why not share that evidence with everyone else? I’m not the only intelligent person who reads Wonkette by any means…

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Isn’t it amazing, I also have some “evidence” I’d like to share with you! Email me at IAmNotJustAnotherChristianPervert@gmail.com.

          • Suttree

            No there is also Vegan and Tiara and Lizzietish and Jen_Baker_VA, y’all tickle my funnybones! Also, too alwayspunkindrublic, Gayer Than Thou, Vecciojohn, Zippy, arglebargle, etc. etc. etc.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            As a proud Wonkette dumbass, I salute you!

          • Zippy

            Lol, I may attract stalkers, but at least they don’t invite me home to look at their etchings

        • Msgr_Moment

          Concrete, eh? So, you mean hard evidence?

          • Suttree

            Good and long and hard. Ummm evidence, right.

        • RoyalUglyDude

          She’s WAY out of your league, buddy.

    • BloviateMe

      If “god” is with you, then what could you possibly have to worry about?

      • cousin itt

        god is a Dick?

    • Alex Grey

      I think there must be an American history lesson here about how immigrants are the very thing which made our country great; it would be lost on this one though.

      • Billy Brennan

        They aren’t immigrants.

        • sw19womble

          And you aren’t fucking off, as you promised.

        • thixotropic jerk

          I got here a little late but is there still time to ask you to post just one more squirt of derp, oh please, oh please!?!?! I need it to complete my Wonkette Bingo card so I can win all the internets plus a free “Jeebus Was Borned In A Republican Manger” T-shirt!!!!

        • LarkintheAM

          Technically, they are refugees, people who are leaving their homeland under duress, because their lives are in danger. The ones coming here left over 2 years ago and have been living in refugee camps while they are being processed for resettlement here. Educate yourself http://www.immigrationpolicy.org/just-facts/refugees-fact-sheet, and whilst you do, you might want to ponder the words of the god you claim to follow: Matthew 25:31-46. Are you a goat or one of Jesus’s flock of sheep?

      • StephenG

        Thomas Jefferson was a Syrian immigrant. Not really. But I am sure he would have been cool with the idea.

    • Juan de Fuca

      A divine mind who wants to turn away refugees escaping murder, rape, beheadings and real deal religious persecution? There’s got to be a Sodom and Gomorrah joke in there.

      • Msgr_Moment

        We brought down Sodom’s regime, but this Islamic State is gomorrah worser.

    • doktorzoom

      Moran has been banhammered. Posts left up for the moment, for amusement purposes.

      • cousin itt

        WE. ARE. AMUSED.

      • BloviateMe

        Oh c’mon Dok, it was fun. You gotta leave it up. I mean, yeah, he wanted us beheaded and stuff, but it was adorable the way he said it.

      • Juan de Fuca

        When he comes back as Disqus user Sayyid Qutb or Hassan al-Banna-me-all-you-want…just sayin’ I called it here.

      • Metadude

        But if we are an anarchico-syndicalist collective (aren’t we?), then shouldn’t we take turns at wielding the banhammer?

        • Lord-Nash

          You’re fooling yourself. We’re living in a dictatorship.

      • jmk

        And I missed it!! Stooopid sleeping…. getting in the way of all the fun…

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I don’t think you missed much, really. All I’m seeing is a string of Teahadist clichés, even the “our once great country” one. I’ll take sleep any time over that.

    • Bammac

      Yeah…..sure was great when Roosevelt ran the place….

      May God pound you silly.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Allahu Akbar!

      • Land Shark

        Gesundheit!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You forgot to say “sheeple” after you implored us to wake up. What kind of troll are you anyway?

    • Lord-Nash

      Uh oh!

    • Lizzietish81
    • Enfant Terrible

      Huh, wha? I’ve been sleeping for the last seven hours. I see you’ve let yourself out. Oh, and I hope you called an Uber, ’cause dude, you were pretty wasted last night, and sayin’ some really stupid shit.

    • Relativicus

      We are not oblivious to what is happening to our country, Billy. We’ve been watching you and your ilk turn it inside out since 9/11/2001.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Pumpkin Spice Heroin? Damn, I can’t stand that crap in coffee, much less…

    • sw19womble

      Even I know that you shouldn’t put heroin in your coffee.

      • thixotropic jerk

        I had a dream there were clouds (of heroin) in my coffee…

        You’re so vain, you probably think this comment is about you, don’t you? Don’t you?

        (Well, it isn’t!!!)

        • O4FSake

          His scarf, it was apricot.

    • cousin itt

      This is the meme we were looking for.

      • Suttree

        Who the fuck drinks this shite? If you want mulled wine with pumpkin seeds, go ahead. Just don’t fuck up perfectly half assed coffee with awful additives.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          I thought pumpkin spice was like nutmeg and ginger and cinnamon and all spice? At least when I was looking to see if I had nutmeg to consider if I had to buy it to make a pumpkin pie, that is what it said.

          • Suttree

            Ugh. I hate nutmeg with a passion I try to reserve for morans. But apparently my taste buds just dislike nutmeg and cinnamon.

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I am not a huge fan of either myself. Except maybe a little cinnamon in some apple sauce (but not premixed) and a touch on french toast.
            And of course, in apple pie.

          • Suttree

            Ok on the french toast. I have great childhood memories of my family moving to New York and us staying with my grandmother for a few months. Somehow I always loved cooking, even at the age of seven, and the one thing that my parents would let me and my sister loose on was weekend breakfast. We would make french toast for everyone. Yay childhood cooking!

    • Suttree

      Heroin and cats go hand in p’awe.

    • Suttree

      Just give me some chicory and I’m all good.

  • Metadude

    Geoff is a posh spelling of Jeff. We had an asshole suite mate in college, whom we insisted on calling Ge-off. Could be this guy.

    • BloviateMe

      Geoff is a stepping stone name to Joffrey.

  • Who ARE all these assholes? Where do they come from? I live in a shitty red state with a shitty refugee-banning republican governor, and I’ve still never actually met anyone with such stupid and awful views about refugees and Muslims and immigrants and so on. I meet plenty of people who are oblivious to the fact that there is a refugee crisis at all. I meet people who couldn’t locate Paris on a map of Paris, nevermind Syria — they’ve never heard of Syria. But I don’t meet people who are so insanely full of hate and propaganda. Do they all just stay locked in their homes binging on Fox news and comment sections and forums? Or (horrible thought) do they walk around looking and acting like normal decent people and then unleashing all their bile online?

    I don’t get it. I am so disturbed by all the hatred toward people who are running away from torture and terror. I just don’t even have words for it.

    • BeliTsari
      • Jen_Baker_VA

        It is truly amazing that a large number of small government teajadists either a: work for the government (usually DOD), or live on or partially on some sort of government assistance such as unemployment, SS, food stamps, etc.
        The rest? Upper middle class white folk who think they are part of the 1%

        • Suttree

          Good gawd, these people have serious cognitive-dissonance. When I was down in NOLA I was dating a girl who had a republican family with a trust fund who was getting food stamps and bitching about the blahs taking her tax money.

          • BeliTsari

            Why in heavens name would anybody date a WHITE girl, in NOLA?

          • Suttree

            She was my bartender. That’s why.

          • BeliTsari

            Remember back when Mamou was the house band at Patout’s, before they tried to shoot Mimi? After that, we switched to ElSidO’s over Lafayette… or Slim’s WyKiKi, in Opelousas. BWwaahhhh!

          • Suttree

            Not my stomping ground. I never hit those spots. I was straight mid city/ riverbend with the occasional punk stuff at Circle Bar . Pleasure Club kicked ass at The Howling Wolf though.

        • Burlywug

          “teajadists”

          Just… just gonna steal that one from ya. Need some reserve ammo, depending on how drunk Drunk Teabagger Uncle gets this Thursday.

          • Land Shark

            Why is it always an Uncle?

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            To be honest, it is not mine. I picked it up right here on the Wonkette, where I learn everything I need to know in life.

            Actually, I think it was EL who I first saw use it, though it might predate that usage. So blame him.

        • BeliTsari

          We have several folks, in their late 20’s pulling in >$325K, living in our building. 2 Bentleys & a Maybach parked around my beat Hyundai. On this side of the Hudson, the piss-poor people I work with every day were TOLD they’re middle-class (Reagan’s Miracle was to disappear the ofay Working Class that voted him in.

      • Suttree

        Please tell me more about mom’s chicken & dumplings and stoned ass-fucking. Inquiring minds want to know.

        • BeliTsari

          Momma dun always tol’ me, life am LIKE ass-fucking a chicken…

    • Suttree

      Yes.

    • Dave

      Fear sells…. For both parties nothing fires up the base like fear.

      The fear of immigrants is a feature of all cultures. All people have a tendency to want to belong to exclusive group as a way of displaying their value. It doesn’t matter if it is a local CSA or the KKK exclusivity is the key.

      To be fair, in the last generation many of our republican friends have been suffering staggering losses in self esteem.

      1. The evangelicals have watched the US switch to a nation of ‘meh.’ Even 50 years ago it was easy to use sunday school stories to teach how christians alway came to a good end and non-christians would fail. Today things are much less black and white.

      2. The family values folks have watched the county shift to one where single and gay parents are raising happy and successful children.

      3. The Law and Order folks are watching the failures of the war against drugs.

      4. Finally the republican base is seeing that their elected officials don’t really give a shit about issue of the day. Those officials are just getting the massed fired up to support them.

      While their anger is misguided it is understandable.

      • Angry_Cop

        I think number 3 is ignored far too often. Legalizing weed – which I never thought would happen but does, in fact, seem to be happening – even if it only happens in blue states, it means over a million cops lose their careers, fat salaries, pensions, and Friday nights playing “beat the darkie”. I think we’re seeing the beginnings of a very, very nasty backlash from the police towards the citizenry, who they never liked much in the first place.

        • Dave

          Yes and my small town which long thought of the drug problem for young black men is being swallowed alive by middled aged white people on meth. Neither the courts, law enforcement, of substance abuse facilities can handle the onslaught.

          • SufferinSuccotash,Entitled

            One way to handle the onslaught: blame the middle-aged white men on meth on young black men (in hoodies), immigrants, Muslims, gays and Lesbians.

          • Dave

            Middle aged white people…. In our area meth seems to be about the only thing which does not discriminate based on gender :(

    • Ryan Denniston

      Moreover, how the hell do they find the Wonkette?

    • Land Shark

      Here’s a good example for your study …. this is what is voting:

      When Christians start burning ppl alive and cutting their heads off in public with no resistance from those within their sect, then I may consider your opinion.

      Unfortunately you have not read or do you care to understand the crusades. What we need again is another crusade to get the islamic slime off our continent.

      You can condemn whatever you want, but you can’t argue with the fact that islam and muslims are blood sucking murderers, child rapists and thieves. Islam has nothing to do with peace or religion as a matter of fact.

      Regardless, useful idiots like you allow the spread of this cancer under some type of warped guilt or moral equivalence.

      Islam and it’s pedophile profit express true evil and madness.

      Don’t yell at them … yell at our colleagues, friends and family who didn’t vote.

    • Because they are “losing” and like all losers, they need to take it out on someone else (since thier monstrous sense of entitlement won’t let them admit that they are on the wrong side if history and social relevance.)

  • StephenG

    “Holy shit fuck! Did I land on a refugee-hugging bunch of queers site [?]”
    Easily the most insightful Wonkette reader comment ever. Speaking of which, whatever happened to the quaint Wonkette custom of auditioning for the right to comment?

    • Suttree

      Request for permission to comment denied.

      • StephenG

        I remember the exact phrasing: “Snark or die”. The next day my account was gone.

        • Suttree

          Apparently you didn’t snark properly. Sorry dude.

          • Suttree

            We’re still waiting for you to snark it up! Chop, chop.

    • doktorzoom

      It’s all in the difference between Disqus and IntenseDebate. ID allowed us to screen first-time commenters; Disqus only has the banhammer option once comments are posted.

      On the upside, Disqus is still supported by its manufacturer.

      • StephenG

        Technology aside, I distinctly recall at the time of comment registration a published policy requiring you to “audition” for the right to comment, ostensibly to maintain the “quality” of the comments, which were funnier than the posts, which on the main were a lot funnier. Of course that was in 2007-2008, which was a pretty funny political season with more than the usual amount of GOP gay restroom scandals.

      • finette

        I think he may be remembering even further back, under a previous regime where people sometimes got banned just for being unfunny. It always reminded me of the movie Ridicule, in an amused-but-terrified-to-speak way.

        “The decadent court of Versailles, where social status can rise and fall based on one’s ability to mete out witty insults and avoid ridicule oneself.” Yep.

    • Luthe Tucker

      Unnecessary. Wonkette does not allow comments.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “You are not Americans, you are traitors.”

    What was that colorful saying I got told every time I ever complained about anything Dubya did? Hmmm, oh, I remember now. “Love it or leave it,” bitch.

      • DahBoner

        Support the Troops, Whom I just Sent into A Clusterfuck for No Reason At All

        • steve damon

          Oh no, there were trillions of reasons. Still are, witness the 43 million dollar gas station we just built in Afghanistan. Thirty million of that was listed as “overhead” in the cost breakout. Really?

      • Angry_Cop

        This was very clearly the first time I remember thinking “I’m terrified of the people in charge and he just called me a traitor”.

        Those of you not infants or children during Vietnam probably had a very similar experience, I’d imagine. It’s not pleasant.

  • So I wake up, and America is still here???

    What the heck, Dok?
    ~

  • Ryan Denniston

    “We learn so much from our deleted commenters!”

    Also too, I doubt very seriously that the US has actually million of soldiers in combat, which I assume are the only deaths of soldiers with which the commenter is concerned. I do not count the Confederate soldiers, cause, duh.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_military_casualties_of_war

    • Angry_Cop

      One is too many. And we lost far too many in the twentieth century. But yeah, not millions. But nothing like the Russians did. Nice how we take all the credit for getting Hitler to put one in his stupid head when they did all the heavy lifting. And dying.

  • Rick Hill

    So can we at least agree that people can stop arguing that we are a christian nation if we don’t act as christ told us to?

    • thud

      snicker. Yeah but the muzzies!

  • docterry6973

    Judging from the spew from the GOP candidates, I would say that Wonkette has succeeded in destroying Murika. I for one welcome…

  • Lizzietish81

    What would Mao do?

    • Ryan Denniston

      Deploy the refugees to the countryside? Hey Red State America, you’re about to get some visitors.

  • Ryan Denniston

    What’s with this “true American” jaz anyway? Purity tests are a feature of the right; don’t foist that crap on the rest of us.

  • Helena Handbag

    Sliding headlong into fascism. Thanks Roger Ailes.

  • steve damon

    Or, alternately, an obtuse herd of obesely fat idiots sliding headlong onto thin ice, right past fascism into neo-feudalism (for the ones who make it and don’t fall through the ice.) Thanx, corporate whores. Now get these hogs off my ice.

  • SnarkTank

    Is it wrong that I now want to change my handle to “Ge Off”?

  • artem1s

    pumpkinspiceheroincat

    I admit I saw that as pumpkinsphinctercat the first time I read it.

    • thud

      You must be some kinda something. I’ll go to urban dictionary . Back in a flash,stay right there,please:)

  • Amy!

    Well. It’s nice that the deleted commenters are lining up a whole week in advance, now. It gives Dok time to carefully judge whether the applicants are qualified or not.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    “refugee-hugging bunch of queers site”

    Beauty.

    • nightmoth

      We also hug trees and children.

      • Land Shark

        and ponies and kittehs.

        • ahughes798

          Chicken-fucking and comments are not allowed, also too.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It might even be masthead-worthy.

  • nightmoth

    Thanks to all the banhammered commenters for illustrating a basic psychological fact.
    “When you sense a threat your mind generates fear and anger. The fear you generate is part of a flight response. Anger is the energy you generate for the fight response. What can be confusing is that your mind creates fear and anger EVEN WHEN the threat is just imagined.”
    http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/anger/understanding-anger.htm
    So calm down, wingtards, breathe deeply, turn off your Faux News, and—
    oh fuck it, say that shit to my face so I’ll have an excuse to kick you in your tiny nuts
    and then kick you in the ribs with my hunting boots on while you’re on the ground!

    • Pecker Rider of Pern

      Serenity now, motherfuckers!

    • thud

      Truthfully I do not think they are near as scared as they pretend. They are doing what they always do ,overplaying the hand they are dealt. It’s politics that’s all. A convenient political football to kick. They act so righteous. They don’t think all lives matter at all. They need called out.

  • Jason Blue Eyes

    “I hope you all get beheaded by an Islamic terrorist. I hope they move to your neighborhood and implement Shari’a law.”

    These people sure do “hope” for a lot of inneresting stuff. If these people are so chummy with their pretend sky poppy, why don’t they just pray to…uh…it for all these fun, goody, chocolate-dipped with yummy sprinkles delightful things to happen? Can never get a straight answer from these doofs whenever I ask them this.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I do not think, even in wingnut land, it is kosher to pray for someone’s beheading. Though if you did do it, it would go
      Dear Heavenly Father Almighty Sky Poppy,
      Please smite mine enemies, perceived and imagined, who doth even now on the Wonkette mock and deride thy most holy self-proclaimed disciple who, by the teachings of thy only son, whom you sent to be mercilessly executed that I and I alone might be reborn in my preferred method, do stalk the internets in the hopes of spreading your message of hate and intolerance.
      In Jebus’s name, Mammon.

      PS: Lord, if you could have their heads chopped off by militant religious types- preferably the brown kind- so I can say I told you so, that would be great, thanks.

      • Jason Blue Eyes

        Pfft…all that praying and believing and worshiping and you still don’t get wha’chu want?

        Sounds like a major gyp to me.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          IKR? I mean, what, does the Gawd expect us to have to actually do any of that hippy assed crap his dang bastard yammered on about in order to get the divine blessing, or what? Wait a minute….

        • handyhippie65

          welcome to religion, have a seat down front. you want jeebus to see you, right?

    • BeliTsari

      I vaguely remember this as the plot line of several episodes of Leave it to Beaver (of course, I was pretty stoned at the time).”Eddie” Haskell immediately tried to sell Barbara Billingsley’s liver to three seperate syndicate, after beheading Hugh Beaumont for sodomy. The Beaver yet again saved the day, by calling in hellfire missles & rotary cannon fire on the hospital…

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