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Oh, Auntie Em, I dreamed I was running for president. And you were there, and you...
Oh, Auntie Em, I dreamed I was running for president. And you were there, and you…

Last week’s Dear ShitFerBrains had so many thoughtful thoughts about Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi hearing (yeah, we’ve forgotten it all already, too) that we didn’t have room for some other prime cuts of derp, so we’re happy to bring you a fine selection of both the freshest idiocy from the deleted bin as well as a few that have had a chance to season a bit (noseplugs recommended). Let’s start with some indignant outrage from “Reagan40,” who seems resentful of the 39 previous users who wanted that name, in reply to our piece about Ben Carson’s Broken Brain and its “thoughts” on marriage equality. Reagan40 was aghast, agog, and a-flippin’ through a thesaurus in reaction to Evan’s vile calumnies against Dr. Carson:

Evan Hurst,
You are a very very sick man. I am shocked beyond words at your unrestrained gutter language. What is the point you are trying to make if you have one? That point can be made without such uncouth, churlish, puerile, streetwise, idiotic rantings of a mad man that you are. Everyone has a right to express his opinion. Can you please express opinion and leave it at that? There is no right thinking human being that will take your article seriously. Dr Benjamin Solomon Carson won my vote. Please can I see your cv? I do not think anyone with half a brain will spew out the total BS that came out of your stinking mouth. You are consumed with hatred and hatred does not kill the hated, it destroys the hater!!

“Streetwise?” Evan’s going to have to add that to his CV, obviously. Astonished by the foulness of this ugly vile little snark mob, Reagan40 took a look around Wonkette and did not like what he (we assume) saw, not one bit:

I just read through a couple of posts here. My conclusion is that our country is lost to satanists and God will use islam and muslims to teach us lessons that we will never ever recover from. He has started with Obama and another muslim president in the not too distant future will nail the coffin!! You gays and non Muslims will be slaughtered like goats….Sharia will rule and the constitution will be subjugated!!

We should probably note that there was nothing about Islam (or Muslims, either!) in the article that had Reagan40 so very exercised, but once he brought up the topic, he couldn’t let it go, especially as other commenters (which we do not allow) pointed out that there was nothing in the piece about Islam. Somewhere in there, he got the idea that all racism began with Muslims, since he knows from WND they invented slavery:

Remember Mohammed claim Allah made black people black because blacks were created to be slaves. I guess Mohammed thought arabs were white!! In case you are black, that cult is not meant for you because I do not understand why any black man should be a Muslim except for brainwashing or ignorance!

Then of course an Actual Muslim Person had to go and engage him, pointing out that Muhammad had written that all people are equal. That brought this witty retort:

Look what you just said is contrary to what obtains in islamic countries. I have seen an arab muslim spat on a Bangladeshi muslim in Saudi arabia. Check it on YouTube. Have you ever seen a Christian white spat on a Christian black?

Oh, sure, he admitted, maybe that happened here way back in the 1950’s, but not anymore, anywhere. (OK, maybe on YouYube, regularly). Still, Reagan40 insisted that he’s a tolerant guy, at least until Muslims make it impossible for him to be:

You will agree with me that we cannot begin to compare the fruit of islam with that of christianity. There is no need to argue about this. I believe in live and let live. But when it comes to killing people because they are non muslims, it gets to me and I will rather islam be banned from every civilised society.

Glad he cleared that up. In any case, he soon declared himself FINISHED with this Wonkette place:

If godlessness, unrighteousnes, moral relativity, despisers/accusers of those that are good, atheism, haters of God, homosexuality, bestiality, drunkenness, threesomeness, pursuit of pleasure, dogging etc etc are the most fashionable stance, please count me out!!

Please get on with your AIDS infected wasted gay life…good riddance to stinking rubbish!!

Threesomeness? Dogging? We learned from the interwebs that’s UK slang for public sex, and we see that despite the nym, “Reagan40” is posting from a “yahoo.uk” address and an IP in Ipswich, so good news, everybody — it’s those United Kingdomers who are lost to Satanists, not the USA! Party on, Garth.

We also really upset “David Tønnessen” with our outright lies about Dr. Carson’s position on what you should do during a mass shooting, as compared to what Dr. Ben Carson said he did when someone stuck a gun in his ribs at a Popeye’s Chicken organization. “David Tønnessen” fact-checked a claim made in our article and was astonished that we just out and out lied about the views of Dr. Ben Carson!

Wow. This is the most messed up site ever. “Ben Carson continues his hilarious winning strategy of telling America that the victims of last week’s massacre were a bunch of pussies, because who in their right mind gets shot? That’s so lame.” Painting this honest, calm, rational candidate as a taunting childish moron despite the many calm and logical explanations he gave about his comments in multiple interviews? This is overdoing it. I knew there was bias in this world, but not at this hateful and dishonest level. And what’s scarier is that after looking at the comments, people are actually falling for it!

If you actually look at his interviews and watch his speeches without twisting his words and politicizing everything you might not be this dishonest. He defended his comments on the mass shooting multiple times, and not once did he say that they were pussies. Goodness.

We guess it’s time to come clean: Ben Carson never called the Oregon shooting victims pussies. He merely implied very strongly that they were. Thank you for that diligent fact-checking. It’s good to know some people are out there who are committed to keeping Yr Wonkette honest.

We also received this brief defense of Dr. Carson from someone with the charming name “disqus_FSfEXu6E9,” in reply to our piece on how people with no oil would have handed over Osama bin Laden if only we’d pledged to drill more oil in the USA:

A distinguished Neurosurgeon who has helped improve 15,000 lives throughout his career. An accomplishment that can only evoke envy and fear from a lot of smaller minds because it makes their candidate even smaller.

Oh, you got us, all right. We’re just jealous of his intellect.

From “Clive,” our piece on Carson’s insane notion that the Holocaust resulted from gun control brought this brief thoughtlet:

So, you’d rather just roll over and die? Carson’s an idiot but, so is the author of this article.

And on a related topic, our most recent Fun with Guns roundup, in which we invited rational dialogue with gun owners who isagree with the absolutist positions of the NRA, drew fire from “skydivepaul,” who didn’t bother reading the post and added this comment, which he appears to have copypasted dozens of places. Hey, it’s dialogue!

If you are for gun control, then you are not against guns, because guns will be needed to disarm people. So it’s not that you are anti-gun. You’ll need the police’s guns to take away other peoples guns. So you are very pro-gun, you just believe that only the government (which is so reliable, honest, moral and virtuous) should be allowed to have guns. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GUN CONTROL. There is only centralizing gun ownership in the hands of a small political elite and their minions.

My right to defend myself with a gun supersedes your ignorance and irrational fear of guns.

Then Paul skydived back to Galt’s Gulch.

And finally, speaking of the armed minions of the state, we received a thoughtful analysis of the South Carolina school resource officer who violently flung a student from her desk and threw her across the classroom for being “uncooperative.” Reader “R U Following Me?” (no, we don’t think anyone could pay us enough) wrote in praise of the deputy:

Actually, He did pretty well……she would not get off of her phone, asked twice to leave, she would not comply when asked to put her hands behind her back, she held on to the desk that’s why it went with her, she was punching him…he only grabbed her hands and pulled by clothing….pretty successful moves >> kudos to this officer for controlling the situation. I hope she gets cited someway…surely for assaulting an officer…or did she get arrested? I hope.

Thanks, mister Law-n-Ordure! Good to know there’s always someone around do defend the indefensible, as long as it’s being done to black kids. Before their inevitable banhammering, “R U Following Me?” also offered the insight that the phrase “you drank the koolaid” is racist, because Jonestown. That’s pretty ridiculous, since everyone knows the Jim Jones cult mixed their cyanide with the off-brand drink powder “Flavor-Aid,” so who’s the racist now?

And FINALLY, finally, since it’s Dia de los Muertos, Yr Dok Zoom’s favorite seasonal fan-art, “Dia de los Ponies”:

By one 'violetmagician,' -- we'd link for credit, but she appears to have vanished from DeviantArt
By one ‘violetmagician,’ — we’d link for credit, but she appears to have vanished from DeviantArt
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  • glennisw

    Dr Benjamin Solomon Carson won my vote

    In what universe? There haven’t been any votes yet.

    • Steverino247

      Talk about voting early!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        This really blows a hole in the theory that all voter fraud is committed by people of color, the elderly, and the poor.

        • DahBoner

          Yeah, we hadn’t thought about the many British still pissed at the whole 1776 thing and may now be trying to fuck with us…

          • OneYieldRegular

            One of them – dead even! – is trying to get on our ten dollar bill.

    • janecita

      Dr. Carson, got all the votes for this year’s favorite, token, Republican black person.

    • Rasilom

      Let us not forget that the brilliant intellect behond that statement was from the UK, so what vote of his did BS win?

    • coozledad

      Is there something about naming a child “Solomon” that invites nature to skullfuck them? I’m speaking as a grandchild of one of these “Solomons”, and a person who was in a band with a guy whose last name was “Smart”.

      Seems to be the kiss of brain death.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Better troll Sol.

  • Time to update the site title, Shy:

    WONKETTE – Vile Nasty Snarkmob of Uncouth Churlish Puerile Streetwise Idiotic Ranting Mad Men & Women

    • Steverino247

      Add “: Fuck Yeah!”

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Who are also gay and Muslins too, I guess?

        • malsperanza

          That’s how you get the preening AND the moral.

          • Beaumarchais?

            And a floor wax, too! You’re soaking in it.

        • FauxAntocles

          At least in the sense that we’re not RWNJs – the enemy of my friend is my enemy…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Add “moral preening” in the mix. That was one of my favorite troll insults.

    • malsperanza

      I suggest uncouth, churlish, puerile, streetwise, idiotic, ranting, vile, nasty, bruitish, short snarkmob. It has a better rhythm, while retaining the Hobbesian classicism.

      • JH Marx

        You forgot threesomeness!

    • DerrickWildcat

      I’m pretty streetwise.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    teach us lessons that we will never ever recover from

    So it’s like advanced Calculus?

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Learnin’ stuff is the tool of The Devil. Righties prefer ’em ig’nant.

      • coozledad

        Once you learn something, you can’t go back to the way you were before you learned it. The Right prefers to think of education as narrowing your options.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          This is the very core of Change Theory in Psychotherapy

    • BloviateMe

      Don’t drink and derive.

    • Nounverb911

      Has anyone discovered a use for calculus yet?

      • Zippy

        math teachers have

      • BloviateMe

        My ex made a decent living scraping calculus from teeth.

      • D_C_Wilson

        Yeah, but I’ve worked as an engineer.

      • janecita

        Torturers at Guantanamo Bay.

      • Vecciojohn

        It was very useful in making me feel stupid in college. Luckily, high school algebra prepared me for this feeling.

        • Beaumarchais?

          Isn’t algebra a middle school subject?

          • Vecciojohn

            I’m an oldie. No such thing as middle school in East Bumfuck when I was growing up.

      • ahughes798

        I’m still waiting to use that Algebra (thanks, Muslins!) that I was told I must know to survive in this world. Geometry is at least useful.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Let’s say a train that is 30 miles away and is traveling at 60 miles per hour. You have $96.13 cash in your pocket. What should be you first words to the cute Readhead waiting for the same train?

          • ahughes798

            I would ask her why her head is read.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Fixed. Thank you.

          • JustPixelz

            Trick question. American trains can’t go 60 MPH (#ThanksGOP) so I must be in Europe. So the first words should be “Can you help me exchange my Ameros for Euros?” except I’d have to say them in European in case she doesn’t speak American.

          • proudgrampa

            Ya wanna Walnetto?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Starting a bar conversation with a young, Buxom, female engineer? “I like your assemptote.”

        • PubOption

          The expression does imply that you will never get there.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            But as the engineers say “will it get me close enough.”

          • LarkintheAM

            The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            ISWYDT

      • kaw143

        Well, the scientific calculator I used in college gets daily use by supporting that one hinky leg on the kitchen table and keeping the whole thing from going all wobbly. Does that count?

        • proudgrampa

          Science in action.

      • DahBoner

        Besides dumping barrels of toxins into the ocean and using Diff-E-Q to calculate if they will break when they hit the ocean’s floor?

        Actual story problem in my Differential Equations textbook….

      • toomanyrappers

        It can be used in differential equations: the only form of torture more cruel than waterboarding.

    • DahBoner

      Integration covers a lot of area under a curve?

      • Msgr_Moment

        Slopes are too derivative.

    • OddMan

      As a retired Engineer, I can count the number of times I needed calculus on my fingers.

  • Goposaur

    I didn’t know his initials are BS Carson until now.

    Thank you Wonkette! I am less of a idiot.

    • Vecciojohn

      Come to think of it, wasn’t it Solomon who first operated on conjoined twins?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Ben Carson would have sliced that kid in half and left a sponge behind.

        • DahBoner

          “You said cut them in half. You didn’t specify which direction”

        • Doug Langley

          “Alright, alright, next time I’ll use a bigger chainsaw.”

      • mailman27

        turned that kid into twins!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Benedryl Sedated

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Wait; Threesomeness is a thing? Is it communicable?

    • I have threesomes.

      It’s sort of like having lupus, only with more boobs.

    • Vecciojohn

      I think it’s caused by dogging. And people laughed at Rick Santorum.

      • Zippy

        that would explain Extemporanus’ canis lupis

        • When there’s a full moon I turn into a whorewolf.

          (And my hair is perfect.)

          • Zippy

            He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim!

          • It’s not gay if the tails don’t touch.

          • Iam Reading

            Or if it’s a threesomeness

  • Steverino247

    Wow, so there’s at least one Puritan still in the UK?

    • Spotts1701

      Their ancestors forgot when the boat was leaving.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      His family was too stupid to make it to the boat on time. A collective cheer went up amongst the assembled as the shore grew smaller and they were assured that they were finally rid of those A Idiots.

    • Zippy

      they’re like cockroaches- you never really get rid of all of them no matter how many times you spray

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Fuck! I fell for it again. I’m so stupid. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

    Oh wait. That’s just the time change. Never mind.

  • coozledad

    I do not think anyone with half a brain will spew out the total BS that came out of your stinking mouth.

    Not one of Ben Carson’s now speechless hemispherectomy patients, anyway.

  • Spotts1701

    The reliance on the fact that Dr. Ben Carson is a brain surgeon somehow makes him qualified to be leader of the free world because he is S-M-R-T is troubling. Would you let a brain surgeon fly a commercial airliner? Disarm a nuclear bomb? Why not? You’ve just placed your marker on the fact that being a brain surgeon gives him skills beyond those of mortal men.

    • JD Mulvey

      RWNJ’s don’t think there’s anything at all to governing. You just go with your gut –so long as it’s a RWNJ gut –and the world (and Congress) will tremble before the pure common-sense cowboyishness of your personality.

      That’s really all there is to it. Problem solved!

  • coozledad

    Threesomeness isn’t a lifestyle, or a choice. It’s a cologne, and it’s for you.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Like Axe, but geared towards a slightly less adolescent demographic.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Kinda young, kinda now! Kinda free, kinda wow!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I thought a Reagan 40 was one of those big bottles of cheap beer I used to drink back in the day.

    • Msgr_Moment

      “Reagan 40. It works every time.”

      • H0mer0

        “Fuck that! –Pabst Blue Ribbon!”

      • toomanyrappers

        Hey! Billy Dee Williams libel!

  • BloviateMe

    Anyone who would dare cast aspersions upon threesomeness is not welcome here.

  • Zippy

    I had a Reagan40 the other night

    shit tastes worse than turpentine

  • ManchuCandidate

    I felt sorry for myself because I was not smart enough to be a neurosurgeon till I met the man who enthusiastically supported him.

  • marxalot

    “Skydived.” Skydove? Why do we have these words that don’t conjugate properly…

    • Zippy

      fell…

      • r m reddicks

        David Bowie libel!

    • theCryptofishist

      Skydiven. My default is to make unknown verbs as irregular as possible.

      • Captain Kraut

        He sounds like a skydiva, I think.

  • janecita

    Well spoken right wingers really freak me out! I like the ones that can’t spell, and wouldn’t know the difference between churlish and Chucky even if their life depended on it.

    • marxalot

      So he knows how to use spell check and owns a thesaurus plugin. What worries me is that he plainly lacks a humor parser or self-awareness module, and that I meet replicants like that a lot.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What is this “well spoken right winger” you tell of? Did you see one in a diorama at a museum?

      • RoyalUglyDude

        The last one was Edmund Burke, and he was killed in captivity in the London Zoo.

        • Zyxomma

          William F. Buckley, Jr. libelz!

      • Msgr_Moment

        you misspelled “wanker”.

      • theCryptofishist

        Possibly someone mislabeled the neanderthals.

    • Skipper Doyle

      He’s just a fussy Brit, most likely went to a grammar school, votes Conservative, and pretends to have an account with Lloyd’s.

    • malsperanza
  • RoyalUglyDude

    My right to defend myself with a gun supersedes your ignorance and irrational fear of guns.

    That was in response to one of my comments. I think skydivepaul and I got off on the wrong foot. Perhaps I should have explained that some of us don’t have fear–which is why we’re not armed.

    • Zippy

      and I don’t have to do nearly as much laundry, since I don’t shit my pants every waking moment like the ammosexuals

    • malsperanza

      He gets points for spelling supersedes correctly, though. I assume that’s due to the practice he’s had pasting that statement over and over on every satire site, blog, and facebook page he can get access to.

    • Right. We have statistics.

    • JustPixelz

      You should have also explained that some of us don’t need to, um, compensate … if you know what I mean.

    • toomanyrappers

      I’m not scared of guns. I’m scared of ignorant assholes waving them around.

      • Billy Rubin

        I’m not even scared of that. They’re mostly just a threat to themselves and their own immediately family. It’s gross and tacky and really sad, but not scary in the regular sense.

  • Bren

    Over here in the U.K Ipswich is looked upon in a way that could be called Deliverance land, lot’s of sister fucking and stuff like that. Concentration of the gene pool and birth defects like webbed fingers. It’s that far out of civilisation that you need to catch a lift on a hay cart to come in to the 1950’s. I had the sorry misfortune to spend a month there one Sunday, it wasn’t a pleasant time and I never went back.
    Just when is the Ipswich primary by the way? It’s not getting much coverage and I don’t know who’s ahead in the polls.

    • DemmeFatale

      I wouldn’t be surprised if he was at RAF Bentwaters (if it still exists).
      I was there for many years in the 70’s.
      My 2 brothers were big Ipswich F.C. fans, and were mugged everytime they went to a game.
      What a crap city! (Colchester was much nicer.)

      • H0mer0

        Is that pronounced like “Colster” like Leicester is pronounced like “Leister” or does the presence of the h after the c make it say its name?

        • DemmeFatale

          Not that I know of. (I think “chester” means something.)
          However, my favorite is how Worcestershire sauce is pronounced “Worster” sauce in the UK.

          • theCryptofishist

            After Bertie Worster, I think.

          • Werewolf

            “Chester” is from “castrum”, Latin for “camp”. Any place with that as part of the name was a camp for the Roman Legions.

          • FlownOver

            “Chester” (Winchester, Manchester, Colchester, etc.) and Caster (Lancaster, Doncaster) are derived from the Latin “castra,” meaning “encampments or “defensive positions.”

            [FlownOver holds a few beats for applause from the Wonket Cunning Linguists]

  • Gristle McThornbody

    They call us a vile, nasty, uncouth, churlish, puerile, streetwise, idiotic little snark mob like it’s a bad thing. I like it and give it 8 stars because you can dance to it.

  • malsperanza

    On Wonkette’s approach to Ben Carson: “An accomplishment that can only evoke envy and fear from a lot of smaller minds because it makes their candidate even smaller.”

    It’s true: Hillary Clinton is only 5’7″ whereas Carson is 6’0″. Of course, Obama is 6’1″ so he’s obviously more qualified.

    Glad we settled that.

    • Querolous

      AberahamaLincoln was the tallest @ 6’4″. Makes sense.

      • Zippy

        and Mitt failed to get elected despite being just the right height

      • Iam Reading

        But he fought a war to keep the south. Freeing slaves was good. Keeping south in the union bad.

  • malsperanza

    Poor Reagan40 thinks the pursuit of pleasure is evil. No wonder he lives in the UK. That whole American Declaration of Independence and its horrifying inalienable rights must be just too terrifying for him to contemplate.

    Dear Reagan40: definitely stick to the UK; Cameron will make you safely miserable.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Shouldn’t his screen name be Thatcher40 if he’s in the UK?

      • LarkintheAM

        Well there was some dipwad Republican presidential hopeful that proposed putting Maggs on the $10 bill, so maybe s/he’s just continuing the cross-pond love fest.

      • theCryptofishist

        Mercifully, there was only one Thatcher. How many PMs have the brits had?
        (Dashes off to not completely accurate encyclopedia for research.)
        (Returns)
        It’s dodgy listing the pms, because of uncertain when they started, but Thatcher50–if we think that the 40 came from what # pres Reagan was.

        Or maybe he just hates wimminz.

      • OneYieldRegular

        ReagansSecretSanta40

    • nmmagyar

      Fucking Calvinists

      • Zippy

        I blame the stuffed tiger…

        • Suse

          Hobbes libul!

        • nmmagyar

          ISWYDT. And have him tattooed on my chest.

  • Anarchy Pony

    For the ten millionth time; Most specialists, particularly surgeons and engineers, are generally unskilled outside of their specialty. Because of the sophistication and intelligence their specialty requires, they often assume they truly know it all, despite obvious evidence to the contrary. Benny boy is a prime example.

    • dshwa

      Q: What’s the difference between a neurosurgeon and God?
      A: God knows he’s not a neurosurgeon.

      • Gil

        True enough….. God was George Burns

        • Zippy

          Eric Clapton

          • nmmagyar

            Morgan Freeman

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Lemmy Killmiester.

          • Zippy

            Alanis Morissette

          • DahBoner

            Wouldn’t that be ironic?

          • Iam Reading

            Doncha think?

          • Iam Reading

            There it is

          • H0mer0

            I liked it when he used the F-bomb in the movie “Wanted”

        • Msgr_Moment

          One of us.

        • Iam Reading

          Alanis Morriette , yes, I suck at spelling french Canadian names……Fucking libruul media

        • thenearesthippie

          Joe Montana.

        • Zyxomma

          Eric Clapton libelz!!

      • bobbert

        God thinks he’s Lombardi.

    • malsperanza

      Carson is the wingnuts’ best response to the criticism that Palin, Trump, Fiorina, Huckabee, Scott Walker, Issa, Gowdy, and assorted other Tea Party favorites are all illiterate, mouth-breathing fools who barely got through high school on the short bus.

      • Ulricii

        Ironic that they gotta find a Black guy to fill that roll, after decades of Southern resistance to school integration as an impossible intellectual mix.

        • malsperanza

          Welp, as a wingnut friend of mine said once, about a mutual friend of ours who was African American: Yeah, but he’s not really that black. (It was meant as a compliment.)

    • I read once about a study that surveyed a number of careers’ political leanings and found that the biggest percentage of rightwing/quasi-fascist types resided in engineering. (Not to say all engineers are fascist, or all fascists are engineers, mind, but that there is some overlap.)

      I’ve never known any engineers but just through family I’ve known a number of people involved in the life sciences. There’s this quality they all have of being really smart, and even critical in their thinking, but then kinda falling down a rabbit hole and getting into loops and not really taking the initial critical thought to its logical conclusion. Almost like a cartoon mad scientist. It’s very strange, and maybe it’s a byproduct of being somewhere on the autism scale and also the kind of thinking that draws them into that line of work in the first place.

      Like, I remember this conversation with my brother-in-law – he genetically modifies plants, basically – and somehow we got onto the whole what-if New York City got vaporized canard, and he kinda thought it might be an overall good for humanity because it would, like, make people think or something? I forget exactly his logic – it wasn’t nihilistic, though, is my point, but it also completely overlooked that the last time a bunch of people died in New York on one day, America used it as an excuse to launch two wars and destabilize an entire region halfway around the world.

      Scientists are a special kind of weird, I guess is my point.

      • Anarchy Pony

        One of the ways that sort of occurs is that in some ways, fascism is a (or at least seemingly) highly rational system, it may be amoral and mechanically brutal, but rational. And of course, engineers are highly rational.

      • LarkintheAM

        Eh, my dad’s an engineer and he’s a lib as the rest of us here. Ditto my bro the marine and my other bro the cop (my middle brother is a computer programmer and there’s no accounting for *that* sort of weird). Rationality is a quality of trained thought, and scientists and engineers are trained to think rationally (and we can pass that along to our non-engineer/scientist children), but we are all human beings with our particular set of prejudices and foibles. The difference between a good scientist and a bad one is that a good one remembers this and watches carefully for when personal biases begin creeping in and displacing rational thought and justifying the unjustifiable.

  • JD Mulvey

    If I had a good band, “Churlish Perverts” would make my band name short list.

    • Gil

      ” Fruits of Islam “………….gay Muslim band ?

  • Thorn Spike

    Good Lord, his middle name is Solomon? Irony is dead.

  • cousin itt

    If you actually look at his interviews and watch his speeches without twisting his words and politicizing everything you might not be this dishonest.

    I have seen them and I am lucky to still be alive. Also too, the twisting of words is where the dishonesty happens not as a result of twisting words. At least get your attribution of guilt in a comprehensible causal timeframe.

    • malsperanza

      Still, he does have a point about that nasty politicizing we do. It’s pretty outrageous to politicize the campaign speeches of a presidential candidate. We have no shame.

      • dshwa

        Next thing you know we’ll be demanding candidates answer political questions in some sort of organized forum, like a debate or something.

        • malsperanza

          Or one of those Buzzfeed quizzes. The one where you test your color perception would be especially useful.

          • dshwa

            10 ways getting paid to shill for something is not “a relationship.”

        • H0mer0

          I still like my Gilbert Gottfried “moderator” idea —– then he concludes with “THE ARISTOCRATS!”

          • dshwa

            I kinda see trump as what Gilbert Gottfried’s performance art version of a politician would be like.

        • OneYieldRegular

          In a recent Guardian article about Ben Carson’s problems with language, one of his good friends said that Carson just has difficulty speaking to diverse audiences. If his complaints about the debate are any indication, I’m guessing his plan is to make the U.S. more homogeneous, and thus not have to deal with the issues that come from people being different.

          • dshwa

            Making things homogeneous would be a solution. A final one, if you will.

  • she appears to have vanished from DeviantArt

    Eerie!

  • cousin itt

    Painting this honest, calm, rational candidate as a taunting childish moron despite the many calm and logical explanations he gave about his comments in multiple interviews?

    So that’s what appeals to the wingnut political sensibility? A calmness and logic in which the speaker communicates bullshit?

    Maybe a generation raised by Mr. Rogers didn’t turn out so well after all.

    • H0mer0

      ” A calmness and logic in which the speaker communicates bullshit”
      That sounds like good old Raygun.

  • dshwa

    Where did Mohammed possibly get the idea that Blacks were marked as slaves from? Oh, that’s right the Bible. But thanks for playing.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Quit showing off. You’re such a Ham.

      • Iam Reading

        Nice Job

        • thenearesthippie

          Enough Babel.

          • Ulricii

            Nope. Let’s have Mor, mon.

      • jmk

        I Noah guy who’s even worse.

      • dshwa

        It’s always been a mark against my character.

    • Iam Reading

      Not the inerrant word of God? ?!!!!?????

  • Walter Wellstone

    Reagan40… Fucker has some scary fantasies about threesomes with Reagan and either Muslim men or dogs. I can’t tell. Anyway, any fantasy involving Reagan is sick no matter how you put it.

    • Suse

      I don’t know which would be ickier – dead Ronnie or live Ronnie.

      • H0mer0

        you woulda thought his dick would have fallen off at the rate at which they take turns fellating him (don’t think about that too much–reminds me of the joke about what the leper said to the commercial sex worker…)*

        *”keep the tip!”

        try the veal…

  • baconzgood

    “godlessness, unrighteousnes, moral relativity, despisers/accusers of those that are good, atheism, haters of God, homosexuality, bestiality, drunkenness, threesomeness (? what is threesomeness?), pursuit of pleasure, dogging etc etc”…
    Does this mean Wonkette is going to be a paysite soon?

    • Bitter Scribe

      (? what is threesomeness?)

      The Holy Trinity, God’s own original threesome.

      • FauxAntocles

        But that’s all dudes – I’m looking for two wymmyns!

        • Doug Langley

          Here’s a stack of binders. Help yourself.

        • Iam Reading

          They ran a train on mary. Joseph was fapping in the corner

    • nmmagyar

      La Editrix did get pretty graphic about the pregnancy ‘roids…

      • H0mer0

        she diin’t describe the half of dem ‘rrhoids.

        BTW: I know you’re more familiar with Magyar, but in the romance languages, I think that one elides the article and the first letter of the word when the word starts with a vowel, like “L’Editrix.”

        • Bitter Scribe

          The actual word is redacteur, if anyone cares.

          (Editeur means publisher, in case things aren’t confusing enough.)

        • nmmagyar

          Yeah, I mainly slept with my third year French teacher (which got me into the French National Honor Society, TYVM); L’editrix is more correcterer, but this is the Wonkette, so grammar be damned and man the torpedoes. Or something.

        • theCryptofishist

          Yes for French and Italian. But I think that Spanish didn’t elide as much, but I’m not sure which one(s) it kept. I’m utterly clueless with Romanian, but maybe the Magyars are more familiar with it.

          • H0mer0

            I read somewhere that Magyar more closely resembles Finnish than any of the Indo-European Languages.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yes, but Romania is close to Hungary, so I was referencing geography, not linguistics.

            And if anyone wants to make a Balkans joke, here’s your chance.

          • H0mer0

            I think there’s a Prussian saying that the Balkans start in Munich.

          • Beaumarchais?

            Estonian libulz!!1!!

          • Billy Rubin

            Romanian uses declensions to indicate definite articles: -ul is singular masculine, -a is singular feminine, -i is plural masculine, and -ia is plural feminine.

          • theCryptofishist

            They got it from Latin. Italian, French and Spanish all lost theirs. Portuguese, too. But Latin had them. Romans, go home.

    • Mr. Fusion

      Gad dammit, there is nothing wrong with being an atheist that a good dose of Mormonism won’t cure.

      • Iam Reading

        Sister wives lead to threesomes and dogging and you are right back to where you started

        • Mr. Fusion

          Ya, I’ve been the fourth in a threesome before.

    • H0mer0

      hope not! Then where will I get penis jokes without being flagged?

      • Iam Reading

        I will bit torrent for you

  • whatwhomever

    Brainzzzzzz…

    Is Dr. Carson putting himself to sleep, or is he a zombie? I guess it could be both…

    • gene108

      Zombies don’t sleep libtard!!! Ha, gotcha moran!!! Carson cannot be a zombie. Vampire, maybe. They sleep.

      • Iam Reading

        Can black vampires survive the sun?

        • Zyxomma

          Haven’t you seen Blade?

  • Bad Granny

    Wonkette; come for the dick jokes, stay for the threesomes.

    • kaw143

      And the drunkenness! Don’t forget the drunkenness!

    • JustPixelz

      Why cain’t I quit you two?

      • Incoming Ham

        Love, dammit. It’s the reason I can’t quit. Love.

    • Mr. Fusion

      Yabut, what if there are four for the threesome? THEN wadda ya do?

      • Zippy

        play bridge?

        • Mr. Fusion

          I like the way you think.

          • Playonwords

            Two clubs

          • Zyxomma

            Stayman!!

          • Playonwords

            Jacoby transfers or GTFO

        • SnarkOff

          You sick fucker.

        • Doug Langley

          OK, but no Trump.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Fourgy?

    • laineypc

      Still waiting for the dogging, though.

    • Objectifer

      Don’t forget the Brazilian fart pr0n.

    • BehaveYrself

      I *do* still miss the sideboob…

    • mtn_philosoph

      Dick jokes written as tercets?

      At my computer
      Playing with the meat whistle
      Oh no my keyboard!

      (Dylan Betman of Jersey City, NJ)

  • kaw143

    Yeah, Wonkette, how come you politicize the political speech that the political candidate makes while campaigning for a political office, politically?

    • Billy Rubin

      Yeah, is nothing sacred? I feel sorry for you people! Sheesh.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Dok, when you get 10 credits on your “Streetwise” card you get a “Ghetto” card. Once you get 10 credits you get a “GHETTO PASS.” Hard to get, butworth the effort.

    BTW, love today’s graphic.

    • Iam Reading

      But don’t go MC Hammer on us or we will revoke the G P

    • BehaveYrself

      And an free iPhone in the mail! Thanks, Obama!

  • CripesAmighty

    Guttersnipes! Ruffians! Hooligans!

    • Spotts1701

      Aw, you say the nicest things about us.

    • kaw143

      Jackanapes! Guttersnipes! Urchins!

      • jmk

        Rascals!! Fibbertygibbets!!

        • BloviateMe

          Fopdoodles, fustylugs, rakefires!!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Profligates, rounders, corner boys!!!!!!!!!1,11,1!!!!!11,111!!1

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Rapscallions! Reprobates!

    • nmmagyar

      You rang?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Lummoxes and layabouts!

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        Lollygaggers! (Best scene in “Bull Durham”).

    • JustPixelz

      Natasha: Boris, you’re so evil.
      Boris: Stop, stop. You make me blush.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Skip skaps, skanks, and scallawags…hoes, heffers, he ha’s, and hulahoops!

      • H0mer0

        “…heffalumps and woozles…”

        • Brianna Amoré

          JubJub birds and frumious Bandersnatchers!

          • Msgr_Moment

            I’ve got binders full of bandersnatches.

          • DahBoner

            Rumbumptious Sauceboxes and Hobbadehoys!!!

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Now you’re just making stuff up!

          • DahBoner

            Don’t sell me a dog, Church bell…

    • w9anthimos

      Churlish, swag-bellied fustilarians!

    • DahBoner

      Ooops! My balls keep rolling into the guttersnipes!!!

      • FauxAntocles

        Ouch

    • Objectifer

      Lolygaggers!!1!

    • Riggsveda

      Blatherskites, bedpans, codswallopers, and stumpthumpers!

    • SnarkOff

      Harlots! Foul temptresses!

      • Msgr_Moment

        where?! Asking.. something…friend.

      • BehaveYrself

        Gypsies, tramps and thieves!

    • Brianna Amoré

      Whippersnappers and wastrels! Jiggery pokery!

      • SnarkOff

        Argle bargle!

        • jmk

          Mere applesauce!!

    • Doug Langley

      Wow! This is increasing my word-power better than Reader’s Digest!!

      • Enfant Terrible

        It’s like a bunch of Dickens characters got into a flame war.

        • Amy!

          Bah! Humbug!

    • Enfant Terrible

      Flattery will get you nowhere, you haughty philanderer!

    • LarkintheAM

      Blackguards! Bounders! Cads!

      • dshwa

        Cads! That’s an underused oldie but goody.

    • dshwa

      Tossers.

      • CripesAmighty

        Ahh, the Queen’s English…

  • JustPixelz

    “…hatred does not kill the hated, it destroys the hater!!”

    This is bad news for Kim Davis. And Donald Trump. And Louie Gohmert. And … ah, fuck it … it’s bad news for everyone with an (R) after their name these days.

    • gene108

      Donald Trump is not a hater! He’s just telling people what they want to hear. He brings comfort to the masses (of racists), just like Jesus did with the poor.

  • DemmeFatale

    Poor ol’ goats!
    How much does it suck to be a goat?
    (Thanks, Raygun40.)

    • Enfant Terrible

      Asking for a friend?

  • baconzgood

    bestiality, drunkenness, threesomeness, pursuit of pleasure, dogging
    AAAAAH….if that’s true about the people that comment on this site….if you live in the Pittsburgh area, please send me your email address so we can get together and hang out.

    • Sadly, just moved from the Burgh to State College. Gosh darn the luck!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        That’s only like a 4 hour drive. You must not be a committed beastial drunken threesome having dogging streetwise pleasure seeker

        • Beaumarchais?

          You left out pedocoach.

  • cousin itt

    David Tønnessen: Wow. This is the most messed up site ever.

    Dude, do you even know what the Internet is? Listen. It’s a tough Web. There’s all sorts of people and things trying to do you, kill you, rip you off, everything. If you’re going to survive out there, you’ve really got to know where your snark is.

    • Zippy

      Wow. This is the most messed up site ever

      He’s apparently never read the snake oil column. Those bleached anus and turpentine sites make us look like choir boys

      • H0mer0

        not to mention steaming vagina (thanks Gwyneth!)

        • Zippy

          Steaming Vagina- my new Pussy Riot tribute band

      • Msgr_Moment

        i guess he’s okay with Lemonparty.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A Scandinavian winger…who’d a thunk it.

      • Iam Reading

        Like a liberal Tea Partier, neh?

    • Msgr_Moment

      mi sister was bitten by a Tønnessen. Nø, reely.

      • Amy!

        Dïd she catch an ümlaüt? My bröder dïd! He was ïn the höspïtal for a lööööönnng tïme!

    • Iam Reading

      Guessing he needs to be on his fainting couch while surfing 4chan

    • RoyalUglyDude

      I wonder if he knows umlat boy from a couple weeks ago.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        He certainly is diacritical enough to be the same guy.

    • sw19womble

      I messed up my first attempt at a blog pretty badly. The fonts were ugly and I couldn’t work out how to undo the background style. It’s still out there somewhere….

  • JustPixelz

    “…a small political elite and their minions.”

    But enough about billionaires and their GOP candidates. I want to know why airplanes are still gun-free, sitting duck zones.

  • Joshua Norton

    Teabaggers are now leaning towards Ben Carson mainly because they figure if their feller is gonna get beat bad by a woman, it might as well be the black guy.

    • marxalot

      That way they can say later that they weren’t really trying.

      • nmmagyar

        And there was no way a woman could beat a white man

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I thought it was because, in their world view, the only people who voted for Bammerz was black folk, and if they put a black guy up there, they will get all the black vote?

      • Wombat

        That seems depressingly accurate.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        One thing we have going for us is that the teabaggers always underestimate the opposition. They project their own flaws on others.

  • Billy Croissant

    Wow, these guys go straight from the lobby to their crazy suite, they don’t even bother getting a refreshing drink from the turpentine dispenser first.

    • zerosumgame0005

      but they do have room service stock the mini bar with Sterno…

      • Iam Reading

        And sherm. Don’t forget the sherm

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Derpy or GTFO

    • Iam Reading

      Be excellent

      • toomanyrappers

        …to one another.

    • sw19womble

      DERPY 4 LIFE

      • Anarchy Pony

  • DahBoner

    Have you ever seen a Christian white spat on a Christian black?

    Yes. Many Republicans are spitting on the Troops Obama is sending into Syria. I’m sure some of them are BLACK.
    Check it on YouTube.

    https://media0.giphy.com/media/vII0XI8RqUVMY/200w_d.gif

    • LarkintheAM

      What? I’d have thought they’d be delighted -haven’t they been carping for months that we needed to get in deeper and that Barack HUSSEIN Obama was abdicating his responsibilities and making it worse by not going in? And now that Obama agrees that more needs to be done they – oh. Never mind.

  • Treg Brown

    “Have you ever seen a Christian white spat on a Christian black?”

    Not yet, but the day is still early.
    He meant today right?

    • Msgr_Moment

      Fred Rogers flashing gang signs. Thug life.

      • BadKitty904

        I read on the Interwebz that the Notorious R had a YOLO tramp-stamp…

    • Anarchy Pony

      I’m gonna bet there was plenty of that going on in the Jim Crow era south…

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I only love Fred more now

  • YayConspiracy

    “Have you ever seen a Christian white spat on a Christian black?”

    No, doesn’t happen.

    – KKK

    • Suse

      spit, spat, sput?

      • Iam Reading

        Will be sputted, for those who dig the passive

    • laineypc

      White spats do give a nice classy retro look. White spats and lots of dollars.

      • nmmagyar

        Spending every dime for a wonderful time!

      • SnarkOff

        Monocle libel!!

  • Paperless Tiger

    … irrational fear of guns.

    Exactly. No need to fear a point-and-click thingy that can blow your fucking head off. Pussies indeed.

  • H0mer0

    “…hatred does not kill the hated, it destroys the hater!!”

    two possible poetic endings (albeit plagiarized):
    1) “….and I am become death itself, destroyer of worlds!”
    or
    2) “….then death shall be no more. Death, thou shalt die!”

    • SnarkOff

      Therefore, send not to know
      for whom the bell tolls;
      It tolls for thee, Reagan40, thou dumb idiot.

    • kaw143

      I was thinking more along the lines of, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering!”

      • Grokenstein

        “Issa peeple gonna die?”

      • H0mer0

        “Fool me twice, won’t get fooled again…”

    • BadKitty904

      If “hatred destroys the hater,” how does the GOP continue to exist?

      • sw19womble

        circular human centipede?

        • BadKitty904

          The Repugs should be that creative. Or that flexible.

    • dshwa

      “These warriors, arrayed in battle before you, shall not live, whether you stay or raise your hand.”

  • shastakoala

    Reagan40 believes in live and let live so he should just let sleeping doggings lie.

    • BadKitty904

      I read that last as “sleeping dugongs.” Which makes as much sense, really.

  • SnarkOff

    “We cannot begin to compare the fruit of islam with that of christianity.”

    The fruit of Christianity is obviously bananas.

    • Zippy

      I was gonna gues an apple

      • Msgr_Moment

        What’s in your Fruit of the Loom?

        • BadKitty904

          My bf? Is this a trick question? (No, not that kind of “trick”, you pervs)

        • bozilingus

          “Fruit of the Loon”

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            Like fruit of the loin, only more restrictive

          • Zippy

            so then, briefs?

          • bozilingus

            What are you, a lawyer?

    • Iam Reading

      B a n a n a s

    • BadKitty904

      Nuts aren’t fruits, are they?

    • theCryptofishist

      Islam is dates, then? Maybe that made him think of sexy funtimes, forbidden sexy fintimes.

  • I suspect that Reagan40 took his final number from St. Ronnie’s position on the List O’ Presidents rather than being the 40th commenter to assume the Sacred Name.

    • Callyson

      I thought that name referred to a 40-ounce bottle. I know I need at least 40 ounces before I deal with anyone who is a fan of Saint Ronnie

      • Vegan and Tiara

        That meme should say “raised taxes on the MIDDLE CLASS eleven times.” He sure as shit didn’t raise taxes on his billionaire friends.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Sounded like he’d been drinking a 40-ounce bottle of cough syrup.

    • Pseudonym

      Ranked by chronology or merit?

  • Skwerl King

    “My conclusion is that our country is lost to satanists and God will use islam and muslims to teach us lessons that we will never ever recover from.”

    Our work here is done. It is in God’s hands now.

    • SnarkOff

      We’ve won the War on Christmas!

      • BadKitty904

        Also, grammar, too.

    • Iam Reading

      Baphomet’s hooves, you mean

      • sw19womble

        Cthulhu’s?

    • LarkintheAM

      Yep, all of it – Gay marriage, Obama’s two terms, global warming, the rise in mass-shootings leading to gun control hopes, Jade Helm and the coming U.S. take over of the U.S., letting ISIS run riot over the Middle East, etc, etc, – all part of god’s plan to . . . um . . . *scratches head* . . . well . . . something, I’m sure.

  • Brianna Amoré

    How does someone in the UK purport to be voting for Ben Carson? Is he an expat?

    I can haz confuzed.

    • sw19womble

      He’s from Ipswich: probably busy shagging his sister and complaining about foreign (i.e. anyone from outside his village) immigrants, so definitely a kindred spirit of the Carson/GOP base.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I am not sure if it is comforting, or if I should be profoundly apologetic, that ya’ll got your own version of the wingnut over across the pond

        • theCryptofishist

          UKIP…

      • Pseudonym

        You’re going to trust a geolocator that says his IP is literally from IP switch?

  • idiotboy

    Back in the 70’s I was spat upon by rednecks in Nor Cal while riding my bicycle with long hair. Couple of newsreels from the 60’s would easily invalidate dickwad’s statement about white v black lugies.

    • Zippy

      Hell, ask Emanuel Cleaver in 2010, when he and John Lewis made the mistake of getting to close to those fine upstanding Christian tea partiers

      • Jon Sussex

        Or you could have attended a Trump rally in Richmond, VA three weeks ago as an immigrant advocate.

    • theCryptofishist

      Maybe it doesn’t count because the white xtians have let jesus into their hearts (again?) and have had their filthy, spitty, expectoratorial sins washed from them.

  • Lizzietish81

    Sounds like someone got the vapors!

    • BadKitty904

      Stamp, flounce!

    • Callyson

      I’m sure a turpentine smoothie would fix that problem. With votes of course.

      • dshwa

        Noxious vapors for your vapors? That’s super meta.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Have you ever seen a Christian white spat on put a Christian black on a spit?

    ftfy

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      My clothes always smell so fresh and holy when I use Christian White detergent.

  • Pecker Rider of Pern

    Thou threesome, streetwise knaves. May the Moors take you all!

  • Callyson

    Can you please express opinion and leave it at that?

    But when it comes to killing people because they are non muslims, it gets to me and I will rather islam be banned from every civilised society.

    Um, Reagan40? The person who composed these grammatically flawed sentences is in no position to criticize Evan’s writing.

    You’re welcome.

    • DahBoner

      We’ll have to leave it…over there.

  • Grokenstein

    Violetmagician seems to have moved over to Tumblr.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: I just overheard on the news that Jerb! and Mental Ben (shout out to sohadicouldsplit!) will be campaigning in Florida tomorrow…as if we don’t have enough troubles already. Along with my fellow native-Floridians, I now call upon the Bermuda Triangle to do its duty.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Campaigning in your home state? Great job, Jeb!

      • LarkintheAM

        Funny thing about that – when the Fla Repubs set up their presidential primary, they assumed that Jeb! was going to be all but crowned by then, so they made it so that the winner would get all the delegates. But now there’s this pesky kid from FLorida also, too – Rubes or something – who is looking like he just might make the duel between them a real fight. If Jeb loses Fla, he’s pretty much done for (if he hasn’t given up already). So in spite of everything his campaign assumed, he’s going to have to actually work to win Florida. Let the popcorn popping commence!

        • Amy!

          That’s gotta be tough for Florida Republicans. Between Jeb and Marco, which do they hate most?

          What if they held a primary and nobody came?

          What if nobody voted, either?

        • Thaumaturgist

          After the third debate, you’re going to give JEB! til the Florida primary to decide he’s done for?

    • dshwa

      Actually, Rick Scott has been awfully quiet lately.

  • Callyson

    Just finished reading all of them. Damn, this week’s crop of trolls was disappointingly dull. Come on, wingnuts, time to up your game!

    https://friendshipstyle.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/shitsweakgrandmasboy.gif

  • Mr Corrections

    I totally forgot that I wrote a chrome/firefox script to change Ben Carson to Boner Scan, and it made this headline wonderful.

    • Pseudonym

      And yet you refuse to share it with us? (I blame the sad untimely demise of userscripts.org)

  • geoffalnutt

    All Peggington Noonington aside – I was an ‘uncouth, churlish pervert’ from the moment I stepped from my mother’s ‘uncouth, churlish perverted’ hole – spent most of my formative years in Lower Uncouth-Churlish Pervertburg, graduated (with dishonor) from Uncouth-Churlish Perversional College…and just look at me now!!!!

    • BadKitty904

      Yeah, yeah, sure thing, Pegs. Swill down another fifth of Mother’s Ruin and tell us all about it. Whatevs…

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        I thought whateves was the thing we bleed outta?

        • LarkintheAM

          And Dame Peggington’s long ago shriveled up and cauterized itself.

  • witsended

    Your definition of dogging is not really accurate.

    Hope this helps.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXzaVOk_Ydk

  • So that one commenter might be horrified to learn his disgust with moral relativism is something he has in common with known dirty liberal Bill Maher.

    I hate that whole line of thinking though.

    This thing, where moral relativism isn’t considered a moral stance, or is thought of as a lack or morality, I guess maybe for some people it could be, but I think of it as the opposite – in its ideal form it’s turning the other cheek, it’s live and let live – the excesses of conservative culture in, say, Saudi Arabia (killing drug users, for example) is the opposite of moral relativism and, since I am a moral relativist, I disapprove – but it’s also not my country and it’s not my fight, so I’m not going to worry unduly about it. There’s enough totalitarian assholes to worry about in this country.

    When people on both ends of the political spectrum wring their hands and whinge about black becoming white and dogs and cats living together in this brave new postmodern world…. It bums me out, man.

    That wasn’t funny at all, but I needed to get that off my chest. I feel better now.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The only “morality” the Christianists are concerned with is what people do with their dicks and ho-has. Everything else is off the table. Especially grifting, which is a blessing of the Lawd on the herders of the sheeple.

      • theCryptofishist

        I suspect that there are groups that shouldn’t grift, in their view. Just as only (straight) marrieds can do dicks and ho-has stuff, climatologists are not allowed to grift, or even tell the truth if it can be painted as grifting, by people who don’t want them fleecing their particular “sheeple.”

        *sigh*

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    This isn’t funny, but I wanna ask: why, if the idea of a liberal, funny website that allows grownup language upsets you, would you come here? I don’t go to rightwing screamy sites and post stuff just to rile people up, just as I don’t watch Faux “News” or listen to talk radio. Life is too short. If you’re just here to try to annoy people, I have one thing to say to you: I feel sorry for you, really. You must live a rather wretched life.

    • BadKitty904

      Misery loves company.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Nowadays it demands it.

      • Billy Croissant

        Misery would have more company if it cleaned its fucking bathroom once in a while.

        • Amy!

          Give Misery a break; housework on two stumps is hard.

    • Callyson

      They really don’t understand that most of the time, rather than getting riled up, we are laughing at the idiotic things they have to say. Sorry, trolls, but your words have no power here…

      • Zippy

        I wonder how many of them actually believe their “U mad, bro?” shtick?

        Ummm, no I’m not mad. I just looked up from the game long enough to make fun of you then unmuted the sound at the end of the commercial break and went back to ignoring you

      • Spotts1701

        Fun fact: They are a little bit funnier when you’ve been weakened by the stomach flu. Unfortunately, the offset is my snark reserves are dangerously low.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Stay thirsty, my friend.

      • elpinche

        And they rant about liberals being too PC. Why can’t we ever make them happy? WHY? *crying*

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Or being progressive, cause, you know, progress, what a terrible thing!

    • Sheepshagger

      Most of the trouble in this world has been caused by folks who can’t mind their own business, because they have no business of their own to mind, any more than a smallpox virus has.

      William S Burroughs

    • Zippy

      You must live a rather wretched life

      you just answered your own question…

    • DemmeFatale

      And I’ve noticed that gun nut ammosexuals are the worst.
      They seem to think that if we only UNDERSTOOD their wack-a-doo POV, we’d agree with them.

      • Zippy

        WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!1!

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          That one never gets old, does it?

          • Zippy

            gotta love the classics

      • JD Mulvey

        The dum ones think that. The smrt ones troll to make sure you DON’T understand their pov. Fortunately for us, the smrt ones are dum too.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Yeah, well – we do understand their pov. The difference is that we recognize that it’s insane.

      • chascates

        The Right cleverly vilified all but Fox News and hate radio as being communist tools. I know people I grew up with who are convinced Jade Helm and sharia law are already happening. Their parents weren’t that wackadoodle. Clinging to god and guns seems so normal to them. They have no idea how easily they’ll be sold out by the Kochs and the others.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Sold into slavery, actually. This is all about paving the way to neofeudalism.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            If only there was a religion that had been proved suitable for keeping medieval serfs quietly in their places, which the oligarchs could promote for their own profit.

        • Jenny

          Yeah I can’t wrap my head around this. Growing up the crazies were shushed into a corner and forgotten about. Now the crazy thinking is front, center, and holy shit over a third of the country espouse these very insane ideas.

        • Beaumarchais?

          (Psst: Jade Helm did happen and was a stunning success! We’re just not gloating about it.)

    • elpinche

      Because they’re cunts.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I am so sick of homosexuals, they make me puke. And yet, I click on every single story I find about homosexuals.

      • Anarchy Pony

        I find them grotesque and disgusting, so I describe (male homosexual only) sex acts in graphic detail…

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          I hear there are websites that show actual video of these disgusting sex acts! Let’s google it, shall we?

          • Anarchy Pony

            Yes, I should analyze all of them so I can know just how disgusted I should be!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “All that pr0n on my hard drive? Research!”

      • John Smith

        How wide do I stand?

    • toomanyrappers

      Actually, they come here to entertain us.

      They just don’t know it. :)

      • Beaumarchais?

        If they ever found out that we actually pay the really good trolls…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They can’t help themselves. Wonkers hooting gleefully at Carson’s idiocies bring out that deep Christianist fear that someone, somewhere, might be having a good time.

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    People tend mash up the Kool-Aid metaphor between Jonestown and Ken Kesey, and almost always get it wrong.

    If you drank the Flavor Aid, you died. But if you drank Kesey’s Kool-Aid, you got a nice trip of some sort out of imbibing that stuff.

    So, one is almost instant death, the other refers to getting high.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      But where does Hi-C fit into all of this?

      • Jenny

        In my belly! I love the orange diabetus flavor!

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Orangina the middle.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Soooo…if it is all projection with these people, as has been postulated before, does this mean that they are the ones who are the drunken streetwise doggy pleasure seeking pervects?
    I haz confuse.

    • Zippy

      No, but they desperately want to be

  • Jenny

    Have you ever seen a Christian (white) spit on a (Christian) black?

    Umm yes?

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      I’ve never heard of this spitting thing, but I have heard of Christian whites lynching as well as shooting Christian blacks, most recently in a church of all places!

      • Jenny

        Spitting happens before the shootings, I hear.

        • sw19womble

          Spitting bullets, sadly.

      • proudgrampa

        Haters gotta spit.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Wipe it off! Wipe it off!!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Burning down entire towns in Oklahoma and Florida, among other places.

    • Lizzietish81

      Starting a war to keep Christian Blacks enslaved.

  • elpinche

    “…uncouth, churlish, puerile, streetwise, idiotic rantings of a mad man”
    Is this a bad thing? More Evan Hurst please.

  • chascates

    Dr. Carson said a shooter could only kill one person at a time. He’s never watched television or movies apparently as a 14-round clip in a semi-auto pistol can be emptied in less than 5 seconds.

    • elpinche

      Apparently Carson has never seen a John Woo film.

      • chascates

        I’m glad you didn’t get washed away in this weekend’s monsoon. I now work on a duck farm with sandy soil instead of clay mud mixed with pig shit. Duck shit isn’t as bad as chicken shit although one of our turkeys hit me in the eye and knocked out a contact lens. They’ll all be roasted soon enough.

        • elpinche

          Glad to hear you weren’t that poor bastard who called KXAN while he was being washed away by a flash flood (do you believe that shit?!) . And yeah, turkey are assholes. They deserve thanksgiving.

          • Jenny

            “Yeah I’m up in a tree right now.”

            Wait you’re what??? The newscaster had to have been like prank call!

          • proudgrampa

            I remember that Ben Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird. Don’t remember why.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            He felt the turkey was a more noble bird than the eagle.

          • chascates

            And much more meat on the breast!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            What Villago said, mostly because the bald eagle is a very pretty looking vulture who is stupid, while the wild turkey is a very smart, free thinking forager.
            Eagles are neater looking though. Good looks won out over nobility.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            “Good looks won out over nobility.”
            American history since 1980.

          • chascates

            I can’t believe he used his phone to show the water up to his knees inside his car. Turn around, don’t drown, you clown!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            You have to make allowances. He’s a Texan.

          • Notreelyhelping

            “As God as my witness, I swear I thought turkeys could fly.”

        • nmmagyar

          Turkeys are right from the devil. I am so happy when I see them arriving at the store because they are dead.

        • proudgrampa

          Jeez, Chas. Where in hell are you working???

          • chascates

            Hello good sir! I left the alcoholic wingnuts and now labor for a couple of Bernie Sanders fans. He from Austin, she from France, and a baby I wouldn’t want to put up against our own Donna Rose.
            They work their behinds off, have no TV, aren’t in to the internet, and are full of hope. They met while working on rich folks yachts and saved their pay to follow a dream.
            As for me, I was too soon old and too late smart.

          • proudgrampa

            “As for me, I was too soon old and too late smart.”

            Every person’s lament, eventually.

            Bless you, son. Don’t be such a stranger…

    • Enfant Terrible

      Adam Lanza’s AR15 discharged more than 150 rounds in less than 5 minutes, killing 20 children and 6 adults. But Dr. Carson is technically right. (rolls eyes)

      • bozilingus

        If only the kids had rushed the shooter…

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “I think you want the kids in the next room.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He’s never spent a half hour at an Army rifle range. While soldiers are trained to squeeze off one at a time, and the weapons are now set to let off only a three round burst on “full auto”, back in olden days (of the 60’s-80’s) you could definitely clear a M-16A1 30 round banana clip in well under 10 seconds.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        “When you absolutely, positively have to clear out every last motherfucker in the room…”

        • sillyclucker

          Samuel L Jackson! Which movie is that line from?

          • Jackie Brown

          • nmmagyar

            AOT, K

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I know I don’t have the quote exactly right, but it’s from Jackie Brown. :-)

      • chascates

        Wasn’t that 3-round instigated because of the ‘pray-and-spray’ the scared grunts did, emptying a mag before even seeing a target?
        Hey weejee, do you still have your M-16 comic book manual?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          There was a study done after WWII that showed that infantrymen were less likely to fire their M1s the farther away from the reassuring staccato of a crew served automatic weapon. The whole idea is to make noise and send it in the direction of the enemy so the enemy will keep their heads down.

          This carried over to having a individual weapon with rock ‘n roll capabilities, so yes, a lot of ammo was being expended without too much regard for actually hitting anything.

          So, three round burst. Even though the US Army probably has the best logistical tail ever in the history of warfare, even it can’t keep up with grunts going nutso with fully automatic weapons.

    • Suse

      He’s thinking of muskets I believe.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “A time” being about half a second in the case of most semi-automatics.

  • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

    I don’t hate Dr Carson. I just happen to think he’s a goddamn idiot.

    • elpinche

      My dad a confused rightwing idiot, but I love him with all my heart.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I live in a very red state, and most of the people I know are confused, right wing idiots. None of them are interested in any sort of facts and/or reality.

        • elpinche

          And you can’t reason with them. It’s like reasoning with a parakeet. Yeah, it’s frustrating. I live in Texas.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            It’s beyond frustrating. It’s like trying to teach a dog to talk. I said to one of my idiots the other day “when are you going to stop watching Fox “News” and maybe start believing your own eyes?” I pointed out that EVERY single thing that Fox had predicted would happen during Obama’s presidency did NOT happen. If somebody lies to me one time I never trust them again. Fox can shovel endless amounts of bullshit into these people’s ears for decades, and the rubes STILL believe what they hear. She’s convinced Clinton single handedly killed 4 people in BENGHAZI!!!!! because…umm…reasons!

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            They believe it cuz they saw it on the Tee-Vee, duh.

  • jviscont1

    Why is it when I come here from threesomeness, I always feel like the 4th wheel?
    Thanks Wonkette.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You didn’t make a reservation?

  • MrBlobfish

    Sorry, dude. Carson is closer to comatose than he is to calm.

    • vivian

      I think it’s a typo. Clam. He meant clam.

  • Me not sure

    Reagan 40 has issues with the Queen’s English that I don’t usually associate with our British cousins. Isn’t spat the past tense of spit? Why do all of these people have
    similar problems with written expression? Try and make sense of this either logically or grammatically:

    “You will agree with me that we cannot begin to compare the fruit of islam with that of christianity. There is no need to argue about this. I believe in live and let live. But when it comes to killing people because they are non muslims, it gets to me and I will rather islam be banned from every civilised society. ”

    No need to argue? Boy, is he in the wrong place!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Christianity has a very checkered history of adherence to a doctrine of “live and let live”. For example, there was Missouri Executive Order 44.

      • sw19womble

        Is that a case of victimization of Christians, or stopping a godfearing Christian’s sincerely-held belief to wipe out some heretics?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          To be totally fair, the LDS types were being LDS types of the time, using their groupthink as a political and economic weapon, and some non-LDS types got really pissed at that.

          It’s telling that Executive Order 44 wasn’t formally repealed until 1976.

          • sw19womble

            Organised religions gotta organise.

      • Gregory Brown

        Apparently there was a tit for tat thing going on:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Meadows_massacre

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yes, it’s an interesting story. As I mentioned earlier, the LDS types were not exactly total victims…they used their numbers aggressively for political and economic gain.

          • Gregory Brown

            They still do, out west. And the wackier versions are essentially a cult. Have you read Krakauer’s “Under the Banner of Heaven” ?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yeah, Christianity has so many tasty “fruits”. Ask Giordano Bruno about some of them. Or the jews and moors of Spain. Or the Salem “witches.”

      • Me not sure

        …or the Jews of Europe or at least what remains of them.

        • Notreelyhelping

          By one of those weird coincidences, the gorgeous Campo de Fiori (with the brooding statue of Bruno on the spot where he was executed) is not far from Rome’s Jewish ghetto.

  • Ä Ğrümpy Çät

    I CÄN DÖ FÜNNY CHÄRÄCTERS TÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖÖ.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Umlauts are so hawt right now!

      • nmmagyar

        They were last week. This week it’s the circle over an “A” that they do in the Nordic languages.

        • proudgrampa

          That is so cool. Er, does anyone know how to do that???

          • Amy!

            Do̊ whåt?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Ťħȉṧ.

            I think you might need a Mac, or else learn a lot of computer shit.

          • theCryptofishist

            There’s always cut and paste from the wiki page on the language’s alphabet, which is how I got the č in haček.

            (Wow, I got boldface, and now I don’t know how to go back.)

          • proudgrampa

            Oh, I think I lo̊ve you, åmy!

          • UnsaltedSinner

            Only an A get’s the little circle, silly! Like this: Å. The O can take an umlaut in Swedish, but gets the much cooler line through the centre in Norway and Denmark: Ø.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Good news for Reagan40: you can automate your high-flown insults! For example:

    Thou droning sheep-biting puttock!

    http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html

    • Vegan and Tiara

      “Thou paunchy idle-headed harpy!”
      I resemble that remark!

    • Suse

      Thou pribbling guts-griping varlot!

    • Lizzietish81

      Where has this been all my life?

      Winner

      Be put in a cauldron of lead and usurer’s grease, amongst a whole million of cutpurses, and there boil like a gammon of bacon that will never be enough.

    • Skaffin

      That just got bookmarked. tx

  • Vegan and Tiara


    If godlessness, unrighteousnes, moral relativity, despisers/accusers of those that are good, atheism, haters of God, homosexuality, bestiality, drunkenness, threesomeness, pursuit of pleasure, dogging etc etc are the most fashionable stance, please count me out!!”
    Is this guy reading my diary? How does he know what I was doing last night?

    • proudgrampa

      Wow. All I did was pass out candy to trick or treaters last night.
      Good on ya!

      • lesterthegiantape

        My costume was dick-in-the-treat-bowl. HUGE HIT

        • sw19womble

          How did you fit Ted Cruz in a treat bowl?

          • lesterthegiantape

            It was a big government bowl.

  • Ricky Gay

    Ooh that was a stinky pile. Thanks Dok!

  • LarryHoudini

    MWM seeks special friend down for threesomeness, dogging, satan. Wordy, uptight, islamaphobes need not apply.

  • proudgrampa

    My right to call you an asshole supersedes your love and irrational worship of guns.

    Asshole.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      NRAssholes think the Second trumps all the others. They’d literally kill to defend it.

  • Incoming Ham

    “If godlessness, unrighteousnes, moral relativity, despisers/accusers of those that are good, atheism, haters of God, homosexuality, bestiality, drunkenness, threesomeness, pursuit of pleasure, dogging etc etc are the most fashionable stance, please count me out!!”

    If he/she is taking about Wonkette, we sound AWESOME!

    • lesterthegiantape

      WIN WIN

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All that projection in so few words. Especially the “unrighteousness” and “moral relativity” parts…hallmarks of “Christian” fundies. These are people who think it’s totes cool to lie to advance their agenda.

      • Incoming Ham

        Overlooking Matthew 7:1-3 is also a hallmark of these godly folk.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Overlooking Matthew in general and most of Mark, Luke and John also too. All the stuff in red anyway

          • Incoming Ham

            Anything post Malachi.

          • theCryptofishist

            It’s pretty much all about John of Patmos with them.

    • Notreelyhelping

      In other words, Saturday night.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Anybody catch Paul Ryan announcing his “All idiocy, all the time” strategy for House GOPtards? Basically, flat out refusing to work with the Obama adminstration on immigration reform: “I think it would be a ridiculous notion to try and work on an issue like this with a president we simply cannot trust on this issue.” OKAY, then! At least the voters know up front how utterly useless this fucker is going to be.

    He also provided the biggest LOL of the day: “I looked at that [GOP debate] stage and said, every one of these people would be a far better president than Hillary Clinton.”

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Yes, but the doctor said it would be cleared up tomorrow

    • sw19womble

      Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

    • Bemused

      Things Paul Ryan is professionally required to say for $200 and $400?

  • Poly_Ester

    Dunning-Kruger explains so much. Unfortunately, you can’t teach self-awareness.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Esp. since the D-K Effect is concerned with the lack of self-awareness, specifically blithe obliviousness to one’s own ignorance.

      • Gregory Brown

        Well edited.

  • Iron Monkey

    I am shocked beyond words

    Then why do you insist on typing words, Dumbo?

    • Enfant Terrible

      Words – are they things you find in the Kuiper Belt? And Reagan40 is out there beyond it?

    • mtn_philosoph

      I can’t even. And furthermore, I am struck speechless. Dumbfounded. Nonplussed. Gobsmacked. I can’t even find the words to describe how aghast I am.

      • Meccalopolis

        I have ceased to be.. oh wait, wrong bit. carry on

  • mtn_philosoph

    “Dia de los Ponies” is awesome.

  • Zyxomma

    Dia de los Ponies was terrific!

  • ChicagoLovesYou

    What’s the problem with Streetwise? It’s a great nonprofit that provides jobs to homeless people. I thought conservatives were all about having people work instead of free handouts or whatever they call it.
    Oh, wait, that’s not what we’re talking about.

    PS For the vast majority of you not in Chicago: http://streetwise.org/about-streetwise/

  • btwbfdimho

    Exactly, Carson may be ok, BUT the group is insane. His votes will revealed the scale of insanity at a national level. He’s just a snake oil salesman, like the W. Rockefeller.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Just for the record, every single Ben Carson 2016 bumper sticker I’ve seen in Southern Arizona has been on a Lexus or a Mercedes. So, here at least, I don’t think the love for him has much to do with social issues, religion, propriety, the Reagan “legacy,” or any of the other things his followers pretend it’s about. The haves want to hang on to every penny in their banks accounts and every dollar and gun in their wall safes and they think their good doctor is going to allow them to do that.

    • theCryptofishist

      I hope those guns are in their wall safes. I suspect their in the bureau drawers, under their pillows, in their glove boxes, or in their purses.

      • User_0

        the safe gun is the gun of last resort, but plenty more where…

  • btwbfdimho

    Today is the Dia de los Muertos. As Dr. Carson would point out, it’s important to remember those who could be undead if open carry were allowed in the Titanic.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Oh, it’s all BS; he wasn’t shocked at anything. In defense of propriety, he just had to lay a turd on the banquet table and run away. FREEDOM!

  • btwbfdimho

    “…godlessness, unrighteousnes, moral relativity, despisers/accusers of those that are good, atheism, haters of God, homosexuality, bestiality, drunkenness, threesomeness, pursuit of pleasure, dogging”.

    It looks like the full Categories Menu of Pornhub.com…
    I kind of like all of them, Reagan, except that usually don’t watch lesbian porn, because it’s impossible to find out who’s faking the orgasm…

  • SadDemInTex

    I’ve missed some fun deleted comments.

    • Skaffin

      This is my favorite weekly post. It’s like going to the zoo, except instead of aminals [sic], they have conservatives.

  • Thomas Hancock

    That’s enough for me.

  • NotALiar

    The fuck is a cv?
    Edit- that was such a boring Google omg.
    Ps. There is an advert for “best titts ever” just bellow the comments.

    • fuzzwald

      Curriculum vitae – kinda like a resume only fancier.

  • Bammac

    Why do ignoramuses begin their spiels by decrying progressives for their “hate”, warn us that hate only destroys the hater, then go off on a hate essay about how much they hate Mooslums, Gays, the Godless, etc, etc, etc…?

    I really hate that….

    • Lizzietish81

      Psychology 101. Projection.

    • Meccalopolis

      I hate that you hate that

      • Gregory Brown

        I hate that you hate that you hate that … I think.

      • Bammac

        All that hate will destroy us….

  • “Wow. This is the most messed up site ever.” – David Tonnessen

    Week in and week out it boils down to the same thing.

    What part of “Nasty, vile little snark mob” don’t our derpers understand?

    • Lizzietish81

      Someone said to me recently that Rocky Horror Picture Show was the most fucked up movie he’d seen.

      I told him he needed to get out more.

      • sw19womble

        Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas libel!

        • AntiDerpomeme

          I was going to say “Blue Velvet” or “Lair of the White Worm” or “The Human Centipede” libel, but you win.

          • Lizzietish81

            Not to mention Jon Waters’ Early Repertoire.

  • Lizzietish81

    Surprised he didn’t add “Ben Carson is a credit to his race”

  • Ryan Denniston

    “I knew there was bias in this world, but not at this hateful and dishonest level. And what’s scarier is that after looking at the comments, people are actually falling for it!”

    Actually, I would like to think that I arrived at the conclusion that Carson is a moron and way out of his league independently.

    • david green

      I hadn’t realized he was a moron until I heard him speak.

  • scorpy_1

    “Dr Benjamin Solomon Carson”
    That’s useful information, Dr. BS Carson….I like it.

  • Sarah Balfour

    Fuck you Wonkette! Just because some of my fellow countrymen are several fags short of the full pack doesn’t mean we ALL are! The fact he’s from Ipswich should tell you everything you need to know, they’re a bit funny in East Anglia. Ipswich has the country’s only UKIP MP and Kippers hate everything and everyone.

    I’m from Yorkshire. We only hate people from Lancashire. Oh and Tories (but that kinda goes without saying).

  • LadyLaz

    Please won’t someone remember the ponies.

  • TheBidenator

    So Ben Sominex Carson is so ‘popular’ he’s attracted batshit cabals from other countries to defend him? Hah! I’m thinking Reagan might be possessed again, I say this time we let the demon do it’s work….

    • theCryptofishist

      No! Totally not true! It’s a Gallup poll, and they ask _Americans_ who they most admire in the world. It only takes a few percent of Americans to put him in the 6th position. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s less than 5%. All it would take is a concerted effort by someone in that community to make them vote for him, and he’s in!
      For contrast? 1, 2, and 3 are Barack Obama, Pope Francis, Bill Clinton.
      (4 and 5 are Billy Graham and GWB, but even if they had consolidated to get someone they approved off with the highest possible number, I don’t know that they would have knocked Bill out.)
      Most admired woman in that pole? Hillary Clinton! Well, now we know something.

      If you want something less dodgy, “YouGov” did a survey in 34 countries–and I don’t think they counted Iran or North Korea or many African nations in that. China, they must have Xi Jinping is #3. Bill Gates is first, Obama 2nd. Hillary’s put into the #3 spot behind Angela Jolie and Malala Yousafzai. Our sleepy potato isn’t on the list at all.

      • theCryptofishist

        So, that person is full of shit, as proved by science!

        Plus, we all know that the best person for the job is the world’s 4th most admired transgendered or transvestite or gender queer, so let’s get YouGov to do that poll in the next 6 months, so we know how to vote.

    • Cool_North

      On the plus side, he can’t really vote for Carson, so his “he’s won my vote” is only a figure of speech. Wheew!

  • Pisto75666

    That first comment was painfully low in exclamation points……..

    it’s like they don’t even TRY anymore! *sobs*

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