Good news, homosexual married couples and all you bros out there just sucking cock for green cards: All the gay-marrieds in America get to pay all their tax moneys at the same time now, like normal boring hetero marrieds!
Now you might be thinking, “But wait, Wonkette, didn’t that happen in June, when the Supreme Court did gayness to the whole country?” No, you dumbstupid, let us ‘splain. While you probably ASSUMED that the day the SCOTUS decision came down, Justice Ginsburg and her comrades went to all the government agencies and rapped their dick-gavels on everybody’s hands until they added “AND ALSO THE HOMOS” to every single U.S. American law, that is not true.
For one thing, Justice Ginsburg probably wanted to GET HER DRANK ON, because that is A Thing She Do. And Kagan and Sotomayor, well, they’re the newest justices, so they had to clean up all of Scalia’s rage jizz with the Official Supreme Court mop first before they were allowed to go play with their gay friends.
The point is that these things don’t happen just because you snap your glittery fingers, but settle your gay-ass little hearts down, because Obama’s Big Gay Administration has crossed the T’s and dotted the I’s on this particular issue, so now all the gaysexuals of America are on equal tax filing footing with the boring breedersexuals.
But wait, shouldn’t Congress be changing our tax law to implement the ruling? Ayup. Why haven’t they???? Shut up, you know it is the dumb fucking Republicans who control Congress. So Obama has to swoop in with his cape and fix it his damn self, like so many other things.
The Hill points out that this “builds on the 2013 IRS revenue ruling implementing the Supreme Court’s decision in United States v. Windsor where same-sex couples married in jurisdictions recognizing their unions would be covered under federal tax law,” which is a boring sentence that means SOME of the gays (the ones in the No Homo states) didn’t get to file together before the big Supreme Court ruling, but now they do.
Have fun paying taxes together, U.S. American homo marrieds!