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Told ya so
Told ya so

Guys, remember the Democratic debate on Tuesday night? You know, the one you missed because you were busy watching the Mets lose? Well, you can read all about it here, but spoiler: It was awesome. Two Democrats, a socialist, a bicurious dude from Rhode Island, and dickbag Jim Webb stood on a stage and delivered coherent thoughts, in complete sentences, and not one of them, not a single time, cried about the sharia threat of teenage Muslim science nerds, or whipped out their dicks to prove how much they will bomb Iran, or vowed to straight-marry Kim Davis as soon as she has an opening, or shook their angry fists of fury about BABY PARTS!!!!1!, all of which, to this idiot, Gov. Bobby Jindal, that was a bad thing:

Jindal tweet

But, like we said, idiot. And the one phrase he’s never going to hear? President Bobby Jindal. Zing. Snap.

We had so many favorite parts, like, OH ALL OF EM, KATIE. But here was a mighty fine good one, where Bernie Sanders declared that no one in Real U.S. America gives a lukewarm damn about Hillary Clinton’s emailghazigate. The only people who care are congressional Republicans and the GOP candidates competing to have Hillz kick their precious pink assholes in the general election. And, contrary to claims that the secrets of how FOUR AMERICANS died in Benghazi are buried within Hillary’s emails, everyone knows — because, conveniently, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy recently told us — the entire “Benghazi” investigation in Congress is really about trying to stop Hillary from becoming president. No fricking duh.

Given the opportunity to tap dance all over Hillz and say things like “Typical Clinton” and “What is she hiding?” and “This is why she’s untrustworthy,” and all those things the Very Serious Pundits insist Very Serious Democrats lose sleep over, Bernie Sanders instead said what we’re all thinking: No one fucking cares.

BERNIE: Let me say something that may not be great politics, but I think the secretary is right. And that is that the American people are sick and tired of hearing about your DAMN EMAILS!

HILLZ: Thank you. Me too. Me too!

BERNIE: And let me say something about the media as well. I go around the country, talk to a whole lot of people. The middle class of this country is collapsing. We have 27 million people living in poverty. We have massive wealth and income inequality. Our trade policies have cost us millions of decent jobs. The American people want to know whether we’re going to have a democracy or an oligarchy, as a result of Citizens United.

Enough of the emails. Let’s talk about the real issues facing America.

HILLZ: Thank you, Bernie. Thank you.

And then the already cheering audience rose to its feet and gave Bernz a standing ovation, for speaking The Truth, and also for being a classy mensch of a guy and defending Hillary Clinton, even though they are running against each other, almost like he is a grown-up who is willing to put principles above politics, WEIRD. No wonder Jindal and the rest of the Republicans were so befuddled by the whole thing.

Naturally, debate moderate Anderson Cooper — remember how we told you before the debate that Cooper claimed he’s “uncomfortable with that notion of setting people up in order to kind of promote some sort of a face-off” — tried to, you know, do that. Because, come on. Hillary Clinton’s emails will be her undoing. Hillary Clinton’s emails are why anonymous Democrats are suggesting Joe Biden should jump into the race. Or maybe John Kerry. Or Al Gore. Or, oh jeez, anyone please, (anyone with a penis, that is) to save us from the disaster of inevitably uncovering the Clinton “Yes, I did Benghazi and 9/11 too, suck it America!” emails that must exist.

COOPER: I know that plays well in this room, but I gotta be honest. Gov. Chafee, for the record, on the campaign trail, you’ve said a different thing. You said this is a huge issue. Standing here in front of Secretary Clinton, are you willing to say that to her face?

CHAFEE: Absolutely. We have to repair American credibility, after we told the world that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, which he didn’t. So there’s an issue of American credibility out there. So any time someone’s running to be our leader, and a world leader, which the American president is, credibility is an issue. Out there with the world. And we have repair work to be done. I think we need someone that has the best in ethical standards as our next president. That’s how I feel.

COOPER: Secretary Clinton, did you want to respond?

HILLZ: No.

And the crowd goes wild again. And the message is pretty crystal mofo-ing clear: Republicans and the New York Times can ALL CAPS EXCLAMATION POINT about Hillary’s emails all day long, but her Democratic rivals (except for maybe former Republican Lincoln Chafee, but he doesn’t count) aren’t going to attack her on petty hyped up bullcrap that doesn’t matter to the American people. Isn’t it so refreshing to watch some actual grown-ups run for president?

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  • But, like we said, idiot. And the one phrase he’s never going to hear? President Bobby Jindal. Zing. Snap.

    I actually clicked the screen (twice) in an attempt to favorite/like/upfist this phrase.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      just click the heart recommend thingy thing. I have taken to just doing that for all Kali’s articles when I remember it, because I can’t upfist her comments otherwise

      • You have a heart button? I don’t have a heart button.

        • mfp

          fellow comrade IOS user, i presume?

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          yep ^.^ under the part that says comments, which do not exist, I have recommend and share options
          I do not do the face place or the twatter so I am left with the clicky heart

          • mfp

            oh….ok…now i see it…thanks

          • calliecallie

            I just found it! I have an invisible heart button. You can’t see it, but it’s there, and if you click the number goes up. This is awesome. Almost a good as p-ness points.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          All pigs are equal….but some pigs have heart buttons.

        • Bob@Bob.com

          It takes years of heavy smoking to qualify for installation

  • Lizzietish81

    I just noticed, Jindal’s J has the same wave pattern as Obama’s O.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Duh. It’s thing with all them sekrit muslins.

  • BERNIE: Let me say something that may not be great politics, but I think the secretary is right. And that is that the American people are sick and tired of hearing about your DAMN EMAILS! … And let me say something about the media as well. I go around the country, talk to a whole lot of people. The middle class of this country is collapsing. We have 27 million people living in poverty. We have massive wealth and income inequality. Our trade policies have cost us millions of decent jobs. The American people want to know whether we’re going to have a democracy or an oligarchy, as a result of Citizens United.

    Enough of the emails. Let’s talk about the real issues facing America.

    Sen. Sanders: there is a blowjob with your name on it at my house. DM me for contact info.

    • LIT_Fag

      Does that offer stand for anyone that has said this or thought this? Because heaven knows I’ve said it a bazillion times.

  • Skwerl King

    What is a Mets and what did they lose?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Feel the Chafe.

  • Lizzietish81

    Clinton wins all kinds of class awards for not saying “Yeah, who is this asshole?” when asked if she wanted to respond.

    • CalvinianChoice

      Please stop making me laugh out loud at work. Some consider it unprofessional.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Yeah, and while y’all bitches were drinkin’ and funnin’ last night, Second Amendment rights were being exercised like, a block from my house. Hard to get your snark on with a police helicopter and spotlight 100 ft. overhead. Thanks Obama.

    • Angry_Cop

      I hope the guns are OK.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Early news reports that we have one less patriot in our number, but no guns were injured. Thank you for your prayers.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          That’s one way to regulate a militia…

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      One reason I liked Bosnia so much. The sounds of the season reminded so much of home.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I can always tell when there is gunfire nearby-even when I don’t hear it-because it scares the crap out of my dog and she won’t leave my side.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Who cares? What America needs to know is Trump’s opinion of the debate.

    • JustPixelz

      Trump phoned it in this morning to some shows. They should really make him put on his big boy pants before giving him free airtime.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Trump reminds me of Beeblebrox, and not in the good freewheeling and finding God sort of way, but in the “That is the sort of insane quote the press was just waiting to write about” sort of way

      • cmd

        But this way he doesn’t have to do his hair.

  • OHvoter83

    I just had a revelation: Until I read this, I hadn’t thought about Kim Davis in DAYS!!! Too bad I now have her back in my brain, but wow. Hopefully she is past her 15 minutes of fame.

    • PsycWench

      I hope you get her out of your brain soon. That kind of thing can kill neurons.

    • say wha

      KIRBY DELAUTER! There, that should help with your Kim Davis problem.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I heard Webb killed a guy. If he switches parties he could outpoll half the field.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Only if he yelled “Hey, look over there!” Then his unarmed buddies jumped the VC and beat him to death.

      • mtn_philosoph

        “Hey, Charley — I think that the guy you want to kill is over there behind that tree.”

  • Bob@Bob.com

    We might be tired f hearing about Benghazi but think we can all agree that more emails about drunken John Boehner would be appreciated

    • edith prickly

      BENDERGAZI!!!

      • PsycWench

        Orange you witty!!

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Don’t be silly. Jindal hears “Oh, Mr. President Clinton,” “Oooh, Mr. President Obama,” ALL THE TIME during cosplay sex when it’s Supriya’s choice.

  • Yeah, don’t care about the emails. Do care about her support for establishing a no-fly zone in Syria that could bring us into direct military confrontation with Russia. Wish someone would talk her out of that.

    • Spotts1701

      Just play the clip of Martha Raddatz trying to explain, slowly and in complete sentences, to Bobby Jindal about the stupidity of establishing a no-fly zone against a group that has no aircraft.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      But they have worked so well every other time we had one. Just ask Scott O’Grady.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Is it wrong of me to say that my innermost fantasies now consist of Berns and Hillz doing a lot of high fivin hand shakin mad about a thing?

    • Mine mostly center on me comforting Martin O’Malley when he doesn’t get the nomination. “You’re mad at her, take it out on me!”

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Remember yesterday when we were talking about how the Wonkettes are the real sluts? GTT, I mostly had you in mind, bro.

      • Marcinema

        I met O’Malley, in’99. I shot his first commercials, when he ran for Mayor of Baltimore. we started at his house, shook his hand, and a total, “Dead Zone” moment, my brain said “White House”. Never felt anything like that before of since. So, i have been watching him, knew this would come. He won’t win this time, but, he was going to go for it, after Baltimore ( a hard city to deal with) and Gov. of Maryland. He knows he can’t win, but needs to be in the big league. Maybe VP? The test is whether Sanders can gain the real grass roots,or will be smothered by the Clinton machine. The fact that all the Republican runners, are clearly insane, helps her, but for the people, who are many, despise anything that is Clinton, and may elect someone dumber than Bush, just because they are not Clinton. But, Trump will run out of bullshit, and no real policy. Who is left? They don’t have anyone. Clinton is the closest to a Republican there is.

  • Given the half wit mentality of most of the voting public, acting like thoughtful, intelligent adults is a real risk for the Dem’s. A risk worth taking, I should add.

    • JustPixelz

      Maybe Doctor Ben Carson MD can sew some of these half-wit Republican brains together to make a full brain. The result will be a Democrat, but that’s just science.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Half-wit is generous these days. Quarter-wit or tenth-wit is more the norm. He’d need to wire a number of brains in series to get a functional one.

        • calliecallie

          At first this seemed like a fun game, figuring out the best part of each of their brains to sew together. But wait:

          Fiorina? Nothing comes to mind, come back to this one.
          Trump? Tough one. Business sense?..no. Try again.
          Christie? Is he even still in the race?
          Jindahl? No, nothing.
          Dr. Ben? Can’t, because he’s doing the sewing.

          This game is harder than I thought.

    • Michael Rush

      43 % of republicans think Obama is a Muslim , 39 % aren’t sure , yet for some reason this same 82 % of republicans is allowed to vote and breed .

  • PsycWench

    I for one would love to see a President who is the guy that says what all the sane people are thinking.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      So, Jon Stewart?

      • PsycWench

        I’d vote a Sanders/Stewart ticket any day.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          I miss Jon :/ I admit it. Respect him for his reasons, understand them totally, agree with them even, but still miss him.

          • DemmeFatale

            I miss him too, but am delighted by the charm and affability of Trevor.

        • JustPixelz

          Two Jews walk into the White House. [insert Jackie Mason monologue HERE]

        • chicken thief

          With John Oliver as Secretary of State?

    • Belasaurius

      Jimmy Carter?

    • Any one of several competent Democrats?

    • JustPixelz

      Nevertheless, the voices in my head are not running.

    • JohnnyZhivago2

      The Anti-Trump???

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    I loved Hillary’s rant on family leave – but I think her dumb “Republicans” are my enemy was a stupid thing to say – Bill would never have made this mistake.

    • mfp

      well, of course the greatest republican president of the 20th century would never have said that…duh

    • Relativicus

      They’re not?

    • JustPixelz

      I also thought that was tone deaf. Hillary and the Republicans (AOTK) should try saying and thinking “loyal opposition”.

  • PsycWench

    Am I the only person who looked at the lineup and thought that Lincoln Chafee wandered into the wrong debate? Or am I hopelessly behind the curve?

    • Belasaurius

      who?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      The Rinos all switched sides about the same time the Lieberman went “independent” I think. Something something. Basically, Webb and Chafee are what they used to call “Moderate Republicans” back when those existed.

      • Angry_Cop

        And I for one would really like to see a situation where they CAN go back to the other side of the aisle, because those two and their “former moderate Republican” ilk represent nothing which I agree with or stand for.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          No argument there. Though mind, I do not begrudge conservatives their voice in the government, any more than they should begrudge us our own, but it would be nice if the other side went back to being sane compromising type people that don’t want to shut the entire country down and hand it over to the billionaires

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            It is possible to live a fairly conservative lifestyle without being fucking crazy.

          • malsperanza

            Funny thing: the billionaires don’t like the current GOP candidates either. Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas.

          • Not that it’s going to stop them from funding the clown brigade that is the Republican party, of course

        • malsperanza

          Chafee is too conservative for my taste, but he’s an upstanding guy and certainly no further to the right than Bill Clinton, for whom I voted twice, not without some scruples.

          I’m glad Chafee switched parties if only because I’d be sorry to see him driven out of electoral politics like Max Cleland was. If the GOP ever finds the means to rescue itself from the hellhole of neofascism, there will be a place for the RINOs.

    • Belasaurius

      was he the one who looked like a really tall plucked chicken?

      • JustPixelz

        Yes, except a plucked chicken would have made more sense.

      • PsycWench

        My daughter thought he looked like a puppet because only his mouth moved when he was talking. And then we had a conversation about Botox.

        • Slamtundra

          Yep yep yep yep yep…

    • JustPixelz

      Like that time he wandered into the Senate and voted to repeal Glass-Steagall.

    • CutterTeam

      I think Lamar Odom might have had a worse night than Chafee. But not by much.

      • Huh? Did he marry a Kardashian agian?

  • CutterTeam

    I think there’s some real potential for an odd-couple/buddy comedy starring Jim Webb and Lincoln Chafee.

    Chafee: “Did you take my yogurt?”
    Webb: “I’ll take whatever I want. The night haunts my dreams.”
    Chafee: “Please don’t hurt me.”

    • dslindc

      Webb: “I killed a guy. Don’t make me make it two.”

      • beatbort

        “Just be happy you have yogurt to eat, Chaffee…in ‘Nam we had to eat catepillar guts and napalm…”

        • mtn_philosoph

          Geez, the script practically writes itself!

    • chicken thief

      Chafee: I’d only been living in the house for a day. I didn’t know who’s yogurt it was. Besides, there was 90 of 100 of the yogurts still there!

      • Beaumarchais?

        Disqualified himself twice with that one.

    • Vincent Ricola

      This is the single funniest comment I’ve read while internetting at work today. A+ friend. Would absolutely DVR Jim “Lt Dan” Webb and Chafee sitcom.

  • eddi

    A mature discussion of the issues? That is what a debate is supposed to be? Inconceivable!

  • MrBlobfish

    METSGHAZI!!!!!

  • Ricky Gay

    yep yep X 100

  • Belasaurius

    I have to admit I didn’t watch. I was writing a test for today’s indoctrination class.
    #1. True of False: Obama should kill whitey and give us his money.

    • Belasaurius

      feel free to contribute questions for the next exam

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        The next president of the United States will:
        A. Not be a Republican
        B. Be able to speak in a coherent sentence without making a racial slur
        C. Consider the welfare of the American People to be more important than their secret service code name
        D. Be investigated, endlessly, by a special congress committee that later admits was just set up to make said person look bad
        E. All of the above

      • calliecallie

        The Constitution is to the Bible as:
        1) Jefferson Starship is to Alice in Wonderland.
        2) Dogs in Asia are to dolphins in outer space.
        3) Sexting is to foreplay.
        4) The HAARP machine is to Benghazi!!!1!

        • mtn_philosoph

          5) The GOP is to a credible governing majority.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Remove the “false” option to more effectively indoctrinate your students.

      • Belasaurius

        actually, that’s how I spot the ones who are sent off to FEMA re-education camps.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Thank you for your service, comrade.

        • Bob@Bob.com

          FEMA and not UN? You must be a secret conservative

    • Jeamonn

      You see a Bible and the American Flag lying on the ground; would you?
      a). Cry
      b.) Lay in wait for the commie that did it to return and Second Amend his face
      c.) Keep walking to you appointment at the abortion center
      FYI this is the wing nut version of your exam.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      This is a trick question, isn’t it?

    • Mary and Sally earn the minimum wage. If Mary leaves her rat-infested apartment at 4:30 a.m. so she can get her children to daycare in time to make the 5:55 a.m. train, and Sally leaves Mumsy and Daddums’ house in her new SUV at 7:20 a.m., who is the taker? Please show your work.

      • calliecallie

        I was told there would be no math.

        • Especially that Ay-rab created “algebra” crap which is nothing but Sharia’s law against numbers.

    • Uh…all of them, Kaite?

  • dslindc

    I still demand to know what their Secret Service code names should be!

    • Belasaurius

      Webb=Rambo

      • chicken thief

        Or “Head and a Half”.

      • MrBlobfish

        Angry Forehead

    • Spurning Beer

      Cankle, Gramps, Ken-doll, Metric, and D-Bag

      • Douglas White

        No way… Sanders has got to be ‘Chewbacca’!!

        • Gleem-McShinez

          Sanders? Why not “Twelve Piece”

      • HeywoodJablomey

        I like Hitlery, CommieKazi, Studly Do-Right, Gold Bond, and Col. Kurtz.

    • Lot_49

      Chaffee: Zzzzzz….

    • chicken thief

      The Secret Service can’t stop giggling when anyone suggests coming up with a code name for Chafee.

      • dslindc

        Probably would just go with, “Who?”

      • mtn_philosoph

        His code name would be “Chafee.”

  • sarahjane1912

    Well, they *would* say that, wouldn’t they?

    Question is … has anyone asked the 30 Helens? That’s the real litmus test in this scenario.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      DOH, wrong place. 30 Helens probably agree

      • sarahjane1912

        Is it though? Or is it just because some GOP-lovin’ super-PAC did a humungous media buy just to make Democrats look … um … well, not very nice?

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Probably that right there. Trying to associate anti immigation/union with democrats in people’s heads

          • sarahjane1912

            Now my response looks weird. Heh. No dramas. :)

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            sorries, I tried to fix it fast, but I failed XD

    • Michael Rush

      Is this a binder full ?

      • sarahjane1912

        In those outfits? Well, they’re very ‘Utah’, I’ll give them that much. Not a single pair of jeans or trouser suit among them. ;-)

        • chicken thief

          Proudly displaying those gams!

      • Douglas White

        From the 1987 GILF calendar?

    • Zyxomma

      Thanks for reminding me to read one of my favorite blogs, Margaret and Helen. Hadn’t visited in some time.

  • vivian

    Gotta love CNN for the 17 minute WWE intro. And yet despite that, they all spoke in complete sentences, answered the questions they were asked (mostly) and treated each other and us with respect. Quite the contrast to the GOP clown show. I give ’em 4 stars.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I’m a wee bit pissy about CNN running the anti immigration and anti union ads during the debate. It is like we have to look fair and unbiased! Even though I did not see a single Unicef commercial during the Republican debate

      • vivian

        Oh, the stars go to the candidates, not to CNN which I roundly despise.
        CNN (Corporate No Nothings, because they can’t even spell correctly)
        is a travesty of an organization, having abandoned its charter of becoming
        the American BBC in favor of trying to outfox Faux.

        • DemmeFatale

          And don’t even get me started on Wolf “King of the Monotone” Blitzer.

      • cmd

        I didn’t see those but then the breaks were when I went to pee.

      • Suse

        I’m more than a bit pissy about that.

    • Randy Riddle

      It’s got a good beat. And you can dance to it.

  • chicken thief

    Uh-hum. That would be Governor Really White Not at all an Anchor Baby Bobby Jindal to you, Kaili.

    • Douglas White

      …and what kind of name is “Kaili” exactly? Sounds Klingon! BURN HER!!!

      • Suse

        Kaili was the many-armed goddess in the Beatles movie “Help”

  • Bureaucrap

    But, but… It isn’t a real election unless there is SOMETHING we can add the “-gate” suffix to.
    How about “Lack of scandal -gate”?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      How clever, these so called Democrats. The scandal is that there is no scandal!

    • lalameda

      Well, I think it has now taken a right turn into Wine Wednesdaysgate.

  • Angry_Cop

    Bobby Jindal’s tweet sums up far better than I ever could why I have voted for the Democrat in every single election of my life.

    Nice work, Piyush, now GTFO.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Al Franken tells a funny story about a 90 yr. old lifelong Dem who switches parties shortly before his death. His dumfounded children ask him why. “When I go, I want it to be a Republican that dies”.

    • Reddishrabbit

      But, but, but
      BENGHAZI!!!1!!!1!!!!1!!!1!

    • DemmeFatale

      Yeah, at first I didn’t look at who sent it (not enough coffee), and thought, OK, and…

  • beatbort

    Anderson Cooper lost me last night. We’re down to about one mainstream news person I can handle: Rachel Maddow. That’s it. Everyone else has the puppet strings showing in the back.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I thought he was tough, but pretty fair for the most part. Democrats can handle tough questions, after all.
      Not that he isn’t an asshat. Pretty sure that is required to be a talking head anymore

      • Zippy

        my big beef with him is that he really, really wanted to make emailghazi a thing, even after Bernie slapped him down

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          It’s about all the defense the other side has against Hillary.

          • beatbort

            What got me about Cooper happened earlier, when he started in on all that “is he fit to be Commander in Chief?” bullshit. That is tea bag shit. Unworthy of being brought up at a debate.

          • HeywoodJablomey

            Yes, it should be brought up at a Republican debate.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I don’t know…wasn’t he calling out Chafee to say to Clinton what he had been saying otherwise? Unlike the coward Pawlenty w/ Romney, Chafee did so. And “No” really was a good response from Clinton.

      • cmd

        Yeah, he didn’t have to stoop to “who should be on the $10 bill?” with this group.

    • chicken thief

      Gayer Than Thou would prolly ‘take one for the team’ and spank him if you think that will help.

    • MrBlobfish

      Curse him and his hair. *scratches bald spot *

    • SuperMatt

      He is still 100000000x better than Jake Tapper.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      For one brief moment, someone in American believed Chaffee was the man for the job.

      Unfortunately for Chaffee, that someone was Anderson Cooper and that “job” was to keep emailghazigate alive for a few more questions.

  • fawkedifiknow

    This is over before it’s over, to misquote the late great Mahareesh Yogi.

  • Vienna Woods

    OT: Canadians, happy dance, fingers crossed, knock on wood! (sorry, NDPers)

    http://www.cbc.ca/news2/interactives/poll-tracker/2015/index.html#polls

    And this is the sort of shit Dear Leader is resorting to now…
    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/conservative-advertising-chinese-punjabi-1.3268011

    • SeriousSummer

      Please don’t mess with our Murican of the U.S. of A. minds like that. There are more than 2 parties in that poll.

      • Vienna Woods

        Seriously, I would prefer two. Then the Conservatives would get well and truly trounced, as they so richly deserve, without the ABC (anyone but Conservative) vote being split.

    • does that mean we will have justin and bamz in office at the same time?

      too much pretty for North America.

    • Tansy Geek

      That is some weak ass rat fucking there. Please tell me it’s not going to work.

  • Randy Riddle

    If the Jews had Hillary’s emails in Nazi Germany, the Holocaust would have never happened.

    • Rick Hill

      You forget that hitler would have yelled “Rush ’em, boys, she can’t delete all of us” and we’d all be driving silently polluting German cars but not out of choice. The End.

  • chicken thief

    After watching the debate last night I came away convinced that Rhode Island would be a much bigger state if they hadn’t elected the Chafee’s as governor.

  • TheBidenator

    Uhm yeah Piyush they won’t be talking about that shit as that is the stupid stuff YOUR party talks about to waste everyone’s time because anyone with half a brain knows all of you will just be a third term of George Dubya Bush. Now run along and get back into your high chair before your daddy sees you using the Twitter again….

  • MrBlobfish

    Is it pronounced Chafe-ie or Chaffe-ie, cuz either way…

    • Rick Hill

      I still can’t properly pronounce cache so I just ignore him and think about teflon coatings….

    • chicken thief

      Either or. He’ll be out of the race in a week and happy to answer to anything anyone calls him – like the White Bobby Jindal (is it JIN-dle or Jin-DAHL) of the D’s.

      • Redgyal

        But, Bobby Jinda IS White Bobby Jindal, according to him.

    • grumblestiltskin

      Yeah, cause either way that voice is never going to be elected president. Ditto O’Malley.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I think it’s “Bye Felish-ee”

    • caitifty

      Whatever works best with the slogan “Feel the Chaffe”

  • Not So Much

    I kept hoping for a trapdoor to open under poor, bed-shitting Lincoln so both he and the viewing public could mercifully be spared wondering wtf he was talking about for the rest of the evening.

  • SuperMatt

    Chafee and Webb should cancel their campaigns immediately. They were far worse in the debate than I thought possible.

  • Count Awesome

    Cry-baby Jindal is just upset that he’s stuck on the JV stage for Republican debates. Thing not heard at the ‘real’ GOP debate: Bobby Jindal’s voice.

  • Jason M

    Biggest sigh of relief, ever. Whew. You know the Republican candidates must be sweating it, right now. “So, uh, we’re actually supposed to prepare for these things?”

  • Spurning Beer

    If comments were allowed here, I would say a few words about Lincoln Chaffee. I know him. We were dorm neighbors for a year in college. We didn’t really talk then. He had a roommate who was a proto-fundie, and I got the impression Linc was a lonely guy. His dad was Nixon’s Navy Secretary, I think, and that alienated him from most of us. (The dorm residence advisor was disappointed in most of us for not doing enough acid, if that helps set the scene.)

    We ran into each other a few times over the years. When he was mayor of Warwick, he was marching in a parade and we chatted afterward. At the last college reunion I attended, in 2000, we talked, mostly about what it was like to be a Senator. He was friendly, candid, humble, and totally lacking in the phony and sociopathic qualities one expects in a politician.

    His dad had been governor, and the Chaffees were an old Rhode Island family, Episcopalians and Republicans. When his dad died suddenly, he was appointed to the Senate to complete the term, and I suspect he was a babe in the woods. I assume he inherited his father’s Senate staff and their group-think. I’m sure he made some bonehead votes.

    Linc has moved from Republican to The Last Moderate Republican to Independent to Democrat. He’s genuinely a nice man with a good heart, I think in his mind, his special qualification to be President is that he could appeal to the less-impaired Republican voters because of his origins as a Republican. He’s nuts to believe that will happen, but there is a logic to it.

    If Santorum or Cruz walked into an event in New Hampshire wearing a suicide vest and blew up the rest of the Democratic field (except Webb), I would happily vote for Linc. He would be a good-enough President, and a zillion times better than anyone in the Republican field on their best day. I think he’s be better than O’Malley, too, to be honest.

    • DemmeFatale

      He did seem like a genuine, thoughtful, and smart guy.
      I wish there was a place for him. (That stage last night was not it.)

      • calliecallie

        Cabinet post.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Yeah, I didn’t appreciate the shit he got for trying to explain that he walked into the Senate and wasn’t immediately up to speed with what was going on. Cripes, he trusted that his fellow Repubs knew wtf they were doing and voted with his party. Nothing scandalous about it.

    • nothingisamiss

      Great comment, thanks.

    • Redgyal

      Sure, but why would you say anything nice about someone who everyone else has determined is not entitled to win?

      • Spurning Beer

        You make a good point. I should have said that Governor Chaffee is a loser. He is weak, he is a disgrace, he is going nowhere in the polls, and I don’t know anything about him. He’s a joke. End of story. Bye-bye, Lincoln.

        • Redgyal

          When in doubt follow the herd.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      He came across as a decent guy. The one thing I didn’t like was that he kept implying that Hillary was so scandalous that we just couldn’t trust her. He came across as a reasonable Republican. He should go back to that party so he could be the lone decent guy.

  • TundraGrifter

    Apparently Anderson Cooper decided it would be a good idea to prove he’s a bigger dick (not has a bigger dick, “is” a bigger dick) than Donald Chump.

    It was a poor decision.

    Last night American saw it finally has the candidates it deserves. Sadly, those candidates didn’t get the mod they deserved.

    • bozilingus

      Doesn’t Rachel Maddow have an opportunity to moderate a show with the Dem candidates sometime in the near future? That should be an excellent highlight to the other debates.

      • beatbort

        And if she does, I don’t expect her to throw softballs. It’s just that Cooper was so clearly taking his cue from the wingnuts, with the Benghazi obsessive questions and the “fitness” to be Commander in Chief. I guess what pisses me off is that he appears to be smart enough to NOT do this shit.

        • nothingisamiss

          I felt like he asked those questions to get them OFF the table and have them answer in real time to people watching, not sound bites or fox commentary. I am sick and damn tired of the emails, and I’m glad that was brought up so people could here Hillz rationally say (again) what a non issue looks like. And Bernie absolutely killed it with that answer.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Bernie was super classy about the emails. I had great admiration for a politician who put principles over politics. He’s a good guy.

    • nothingisamiss

      I don’t agree. I didn’t perceive him as dickish at all, although it’s true that now that I’m thinking about his dick I…….

      And no comparison’s between an actual serious thoughtful born rich guy and a bag of overblown manure what pops shit over everything.

      • jangoodell

        and he didn’t menstruate….

      • Putty

        I agree … I love me some Anderson Cooper. He’s so “little boyish.” And I’m thankful he got his mamma’s eyes and not her semi-scary grin.

  • elpinche

    Hey, at least CNN didn’t lower Trump on cables in the middle of the debate. Cooper: ” Look who dropped in ! It’s the Donald! *swooon* “

    • Northern Isaac

      I thought a rappel entrance was being reserved for Biden, actually.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I kept hoping he’d show up in the audience to heckle the democratic candidates, and then get his face punched by the audience (with VOTES).

  • azeyote

    the question should have gone to Webb – so he could nuke some Chinese hackers for us – after all they are just northern than north Vietnamese anyway

  • Doug Langley

    Breaking news: we’re waiting breathlessly for Joe Biden to declare his candidacy. Any minute now . . .

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Also still waiting to find out what happened to that damn airplane (Bermuda Triangled?), and breathlessly waiting to see if Trump farts today.

  • ladylazarus

    Here is something funny. I was out at Yahoo, and of course all the idiot “PP kills babies” were out in force. One of them said, “Well, you know, those women are more emotional than men,” “I’m worried Hillary might explode,” and “women might vote for Hillary just because she’s a woman.”

    I said, really, she’s more emotional than the Donald. Because the Donald “I call people names” Trump is so much more rational and controlled.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Trump is the greatest diplomat the world’s ever known. I bet he’s fun at parties too.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I was at a party with the Trumpster many years ago. He was busy trying to pick up models, and I’m pretty sure he left alone that night. Most people were ignoring him, and I would have felt bad for him if he didn’t disgust me so much.

        • HeywoodJablomey

          LOL. He was fairly good-looking back in the day, and had money- but I’m sure those ‘pros’ are not nearly enough to make up for the ‘cons’. My only contact with him is through print and TV; even so, he reeks of douchenozzle.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            He pretty much reeked of douchenozzle in person. He was hitting on two women who were obviously together. After a while they were just rolling their eyes. At the same party some coked out Wall Street guy said to his buddy “do you want to fuck a Russian model?” The whole thing was pretty gross.

    • jangoodell

      Plus what about Sarah Palin, Michelle B., and the like…..?????

  • Joshua Norton

    I’m shocked to hear people claim the on-going Hillary House Committee was at one time actually supposed to be concerned with Benghazi.

  • Emily Sieger

    WHAT ABOUT PEE-GATE??? Hillz demanded special treatment because the wimmen need more time to pee!!!

    • ladylazarus

      They could be like dogs, just pee on the landscape.

  • ladylazarus

    The only problem is that my husband fell asleep fifteen minutes in. That’s the problem. Good stuff is boring. The dark side has the best cookies.

    • nothingisamiss

      We’ll eat all the cookies together when we get to hell. Right now we need government that allows us to choose the cookie we want.

      • jangoodell

        So hell is the general election? Seems to me we might have some cookies then (IF Trump cuz Rubio sort of boring and Carson (need not add qualifier))…

    • mtn_philosoph

      At the Debate Watch Party we were all hanging on every word for the entire 2-1/2 hours. Four dozen eyes were glued to the screen the entire time. The only time anyone budged was during the breaks.

  • Callyson

    NYT headline:

    A Night Goes Clinton’s Way, After Months of Difficulties

    • HeywoodJablomey

      LOL they just can’t stand it. But I have noticed the NYT has actually been less bitchy about Hillz in the last couple of weeks.

      • Callyson

  • NorthernSaber

    Man, is it ever obvious that most folks who are NOT commenting here (it not being allowed and all) don’t live in rural Maine. Out here talking in completely sentences is evidence of Euro-socialist homophilia, elitism, and maybe even left-handedness. We may have seen the candidates America needs, but unfortunately the knuckle-dragging fuck-ups cooking up Jesus-knows-what down my road are allowed to vote too, and every chance they get they prove right Mencken’s old phrase about democracy. Can I come live with the rest of you? Say- why have WE not come up with something like those wingnuts have in Idaho?

    • Tansy Geek

      By this do you mean meth or white supremacists?

      • NorthernSaber

        Yes.

        • Tansy Geek

          Actually that sounds quite lovely, although I wouldn’t mind living in a Wonkcommune in Maine either.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I’m in!

    • mtn_philosoph

      I must be living in an enclave of (relative) engagement over in this neck of the woods (not in Maine, but not all that far away in the same continuous band of forest). There seem to be at least a few sentient souls around here. But even the knuckledraggers are often up on the issues and are acquainted with the arguments. It always knocks me off guard when I run into some rough backwoodsman who is more up to date about some national or state issue than I am and has given it quite a bit more thought than I have. Keeps me humble.

      Maybe it’s all the moose up there in Jackman.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I will join your commune, comrade. I’m sick of living amongst dipshits.

  • 3583818

    I like puppies.

    Why did no one introduce the issue of puppies?

    • HeywoodJablomey

      As Dr. Ben would say, “I believe you want that guy Huckabee”:
      I trust @BernieSanders with my tax dollars like I trust a North Korean chef with my labrador! #DemDebate

      • Vegan and Tiara

        Republicans just lost the Asian vote too. Fuck, who do they NOT want to alienate?

  • say wha

    Hillary.

  • HeywoodJablomey

    Welp, the preliminary teevee numbers are north of 9M and likely to increase when all the tabulatin’ is over. Of course wingnuts will gleefully claim their last debate (and I use the term loosely) pulled down more than 20M. But they had twice as many hopefuls onstage, and many viewers tuned in just for shits n giggles (ahem) so I call it a draw : )
    Plus, baseball playoffs.

    • Putty

      I say it’s quality and not quantity. Besides, the majority of Repub debate viewers barely understood every other word, partly due to lack of intelligence, and partly because of all the wheezing caused by mouth breathing and snorting each time Trump spoke.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      No way I would have sat through three hours of a GOP debate if Trump hadn’t been on that stage, and I’m sure at least ten million other people did the same thing. TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!

  • beavertank

    It’s almost like there are two totally different races going on… The Democrats are running for president, and the Republicans are running for the worst piece of shit that never matured past adolescence.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      WRONG! The Republicans are running for Fox News’s Next Top Spokesmodel. I’m pretty sure they’re going to do a swimsuit competition at the next debate.

  • Redgyal

    I’m glad Cooper didn’t bring up the 1994 Crime Bill. Because that has no bearing on the opinions of the people who will be voting in the primaries. Also none of the candidates changed their views on it and promoted it in the past then spoke out against it twenty years later. So, it doesn’t matter.

  • kaw143

    Phrases you won’t hear at the DemDebate: Stupid, Made-Up Bullshit.

  • jim2011

    Is that a desperate need for the usual Beltway Peanut Gallery cretins to “balance” the inconvenient novelty of the House GOP literally tearing its own head off & shitting down its own neck?

    It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

  • whitroth

    Geez, you’d think these were adults, and seriously demonstrating fitness to be the fucking President of the ->UNITED<- States of America, not the Christian Plutocratic Republic.

    And is it just me, or are both Cooper and the woman "reporter" he had… are they actual people, and not just CGI? I mean, they look like something out of anime….

    mark

  • Mr Corrections

    That “No” was hands-down her best line in the debate.

    • Now give the same answer to the Republicans!

    • tjshire

      I also liked it when she talked about her enemies..

      “Well, in addition to the NRA, the health insurance lobby.. the Iranians.. and probably the Republicans.”

      Most excellent. She rocked it.

  • mtn_philosoph

    Wow, that Jindal tweet sure looks from here like a genuine compliment. Thanks for noticing, PJ! — Signed, The Grownups.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I wish I had a dick, just so I could tell Bobby Jindal to suck it.

  • KevinShinn

    Please please please! stop with the “income inequality” folks, the problem is #ConcentrationOfWealth!

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