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We can only imagine, as a verified Southern, what it must feel like to be a really shitty, confederate flag-loving moron who can’t even manage to finish rubbing his privates against the trailer park’s communal sex goat before he hears yet another story about how the country’s been taken over by the blacks, the Mexicans, the gays, or The Union. (LOL, remember? Because these self-styled “patriots” are actually traitor pussies who are too weak to accept that the South LOST THE FUCKING WAR.)

 

You might remember over the summer, in the wake of the horrific murders that claimed the lives of nine black churchgoers in Charleston, South Carolina, the dumb fucking confederate flag finally started coming down and getting stomped on like the trash it is. And you also might remember that the confederate flag-humpers just whined and whined and whined, and in one case in Douglasville, Georgia, decided it would be a good idea to terrorize a black family in the middle of a birthday party, pulling guns and making threats on their lives — even those of the kids. The cops came, there was many yelling, much loudness, and then it was over, right? Because racism is over, and this was probably just an isolated incident, right? RIGHT?

Nope, those racist motherfuckers just got indicted:

A Georgia state prosecutor today announced the indictments of 15 people who threatened African Americans and used racial slurs when they stopped at a family party while cruising around in a convoy of pickup trucks flying Confederate flags.

Ten men and five women were charged with issuing terroristic threats and participating in gang activity. Two of the men were also charged with battery for hitting a man at a gas station on the same day.

To refresh your whiskey-soaked memory, what had happened was:

Witnesses told the SPLC that men got out of their trucks, brandished weapons and yelled racial slurs and threats. According to the witnesses, a few people yelled “fuck y’all niggers” and “shoot ‘em.” When someone from the party said, “There are kids here,” a person from the convoy yelled, “We’ll shoot those bastards, too.”

Yeah, they sound nice. The investigation was launched by the Southern Poverty Law Center, which worked with law enforcement to secure said indictments. And kudos to local D.A. Brian K. Fortner for following through.

Morris Dees of the SPLC explains why it was so important to them to prosecute these limp-dicked pansies:

“These cowards chose unarmed African Americans enjoying a peaceful birthday party to vent their violent racist hatred,” Dees said. “This is reminiscent of the Ku Klux Klan – modern-day night-riders terrorizing African Americans in the name of Southern heritage.

The SPLC reports that the folks who terrorized the birthday party were actually part of a “loosely organized group called ‘Respect The Flag,'” and not, as we imagined, just a bunch of racist hicks who met each other in a closed Facebook group called “The South Will Rise Again, And Also My Sister Ain’t Put Out One Time Since She Got A Tinder Account!”

We hope they all get to spend a nice long time in jail thinking about what they’ve done, or sexually pining for the trailer park goat. Honestly, we don’t care how they spend their time in jail, because they suck.

[SPLC via Crooks & Liars]

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  • bookish

    A new low.

  • Callyson

  • Metadude

    But wait, how can they be in a gang? Their not blah or eye-talion!

    • SterWonk

      Or Messican.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Asians from large cities, also too. Or at least that’s what I gather from some Steven Seagal movies.

        • Logic of Color

          Big Trouble in Little China LIBELLZZ!!!!

  • Angry_Cop

    I have a huge boner over the fact that the state actually threw a “gang activity” charge at them. That will leave a mark for the rest of their shitty worthless lives, that the state of Georgia considers them no better than the black people the gang activities law was originally written to target.

    • 1captainhooker1

      There is great irony in it, absolutely.

      There is also great justice, in that it essentially triples their prospective jail time compared to being convicted of basic harassment or whatever.

      • Angry_Cop

        EVEN BETTER

  • Callyson

    loosely organized group called ‘Respect The Flag’

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Wow, girl, you are on a ROLL!

      • SterWonk

        You must be new here; Callyson is always on a roll. ;-)

        • Alacrity_Fitzhughe

          The sushi place down the street has a Callyson roll.

          De-Lish!!!!

          • SterWonk

            Really? What’s in it? :-)

          • SpideySenser

            Some kind of sweet and sour stuff. Makes you laugh and cry at the same time.

    • Lord-Nash

      Mind if I get in on this?

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • 2manysecrets

    Wow, I bet those goat-sexers never saw *this* coming.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      They was set up. They were just drinkin’ beers, toting guns, and driving trucks around with their racist flags when somebody put a black birthday party right in their path.

      • 2manysecrets

        Sounds reasonable…But I bet their defense will be along the lines of “So if it was just *one* truckload of racist flag-humpers, instead of seven, then we wouldn’t be a gang, is that what the problem was?”

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          I don’t know. That’s what ya call “entrapment” right there.

  • “Communal Sex Goat”: Band name of the wk., or album title?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I think that was Tupelo Chain Sex’s best album.

    • cousin itt

      Title. I think the band was the “Racist Inbed Hicks”.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Huh huh huh. You said “inbed.”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Yes.

  • chimichanga

    I have nothing clever to say. It’s frightening. I wish I felt snarkier.

    Seems like a lot of dumbasses coming out of their racist closets. I think the GOP race-to-the-bottom has caused a mass outing of the worst types in our society. This atmosphere has made them feel safe in their evil. I’m glad the light is shining on this insanity. It’ll make it just that much harder to deny.

    Haven’t heard any one of those kkklowns decry any of this.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      There are dumbasses in Georgia? Who knew?

    • georgiaburning

      Turn on the lights, watch the cockroaches run

  • Callyson

    After the incident, one of Respect the Flag’s sympathizers posted this message on Facebook: “Trust me the last thing you want is a bunch of pissed off rednecks in jacked up trucks and Confederate flags flying to mess up that pretty lawn…. Keep fucking with our flag!!!!!!!”

    Oh, you wanted us to fuck with your flag? I’m happy to oblige, asshole…

  • JoeChristmas

    Did I see a “Ben Carson ’16” bumper sticker on one of those trucks?

    • Last Hussar

      Have they not seen a picture of him?

  • Callyson

    One more for the deleted commenters (COME AT ME BITCHES):

    • MsAnthropesMr

      This flag, for example?

      • cousin itt

        Now, that’s harsh.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          What, they won, right?

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Gee, thanks. Yeah, great game.

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Sick burn, Cally. Kudos.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Respect the flag was just doing it out respect and love for the Jewishes. After all, the blue is from St. Chutzpah.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    I can hear it now, just some good old boys, never meant no harm. F*cking inbred crackers. The Gopers encourage this crowd.

    • Angry_Cop

      They don’t encourage this crowd. They are this crowd. Important distinction.

      • Jeff Ackerman

        Your right, the few good Republicans I know have quit the party.

  • memzilla

    It’s Heritage And Hate! (besides being a floor wax and a dessert topping)

    • SterWonk

      It’s Heritage of Hate!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        “Howitzers, Heritage, Hate and Hushpuppies” – Mike Huckabee’s next book.

  • cousin itt

    Goats long for the fjords where they were happy and unmolested.

  • Boy Elvis

    Poor old rednecks. There was a time in this country when you could freely threaten non-whites and you’d probably get a medal or something. Clearly political correctness is just out of control.

    • sewollef

      That slap in the face on ‘In The Heat Of The Night’ by Sidney Poitier is still one of my favourite scenes in the whole film.

      • Last Hussar

        What do they call you, boy.

        • SpideySenser

          They call me Mr. Tibbs.

      • SpideySenser

        Filmed in 1967, unbelievable from an historic perspective.

      • Querolous

        This?

  • OMG, I never thought I’d see the day when assholes like this would get indicted for terrorist threats. Holy crap.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Where’s Mike Hucksterbee when you need him?…

    • Hardly Ideal

      Seated over a dunking booth filled with his own urine, if there’s any justice in the world.

  • Seaside

    If only Ben Carson had been there to lead the children in a rush of the pick up trucks.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Ben Carson in full Popeye Establishment mode: “Uh, I think you want to train that gun on the children.”

    • O4FSake

      Ben would shit himself if such a truck showed up at his garden party.

  • memzilla

    • FauxAntocles

      I do not want that on my ass.

      • georgiaburning

        Drop it in the bowl before you dump

        • Logic of Color

          Pro-tip: throw down a layer in a freshly cleaned port-a-potty to avoid blue-bottom spash

  • Cindyinencinitas

    I bet I know how they’re going to spend their time in jail, once the other guests find out what they’re in for. They are going to be very popular.

    • elviouslyqueer

      It’ll be like a mashup of Deliverance and Scared Straight.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Six ways to Sunday, I reckon… Bwaaaaa ha ha!

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      Well, it being Georgia, probably 75-90% of their fellow inmates will be of the black persuasion, so it might be real fun. Unless that’s what you were getting at and the sarcasm didn’t come through quite clearly to me….

    • SterWonk

      From The Rules:

      2. No wishing or ideating on physical threats to those with whom you disagree (i.e. ‘machinegunning’ or hoping for their deaths in any other sense than that you hope they die lonely and alone). This includes wishes for people to be raped in prison — not only is that barbaric, it’s also a huge cliché and we are tired of it. Yes, that includes veiled references to a bad person meeting their cellmate Bubba. Rape is evil, and we do not wish it on anyone, not even evil people.

      Also too, we’re smarter and more creative than that old cliché. ;-)

  • Angry_Cop

    “Street Gang Terrorism and Prevention Act”

    That’s gonna be a hard one to explain on the job application.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Job? Surely you jest.

      They’s going to be all rich and shit and driving a Mercedes from selling meth and shit.

    • georgiaburning

      They’re living off “disability”, and complaining about lazy blacks and Mexicans.

  • Toomush_Infer

    This is gonna be a big topic of discussion in many a toothless Georgia bar…

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • DahBoner

    “We’ll shoot those bastards, too.”

    He sounds like a Christian Conservative Republican….

    Should have a lot of company in prison with all the other Christians.

    https://media2.giphy.com/media/3lUFanXhDt1dK/200w_d.gif

    • Hardly Ideal

      Funny how quickly Responsible Gun Owners can turn into… y’know, NOT that.

  • Anarchy Pony

    It’s Heritage not of hate.

  • Michael Christian

    Communal Sex Goat will be the name of my next band.

  • We really do need to find ourselves a nice island somewhere, build a dome, drop these motherfuckers off there, and start deporting their likeminded fellows, libertarians, neo-confederates, gun nuts, and Tea Partiers onto it.

    Let them start their own little Lord of the Flies civilization under the dome and nuke the place if anyone tries to escape.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Well, Sudan said no thanks, so there goes that idea. Plus, they have enough trouble already.

      • sewollef

        I don’t want to be a pedantist, but Sudan isn’t an island. Sorry. Points deducted for geographic inaccuracy.

    • Angry_Cop

      How about a really shitty island? I think we should keep the nice islands for decent people who don’t participate in acts of terrorism against their fellow citizens.

      I’m thinking there’s probably some spots up in the Aleutians that would be big enough.

      • chimichanga

        And Sarah Palin could see them from her front porch.

      • sewollef

        Kamchatka comes to mind. OK, the Russians nominally own it currently, but I’m sure we could persuade them with the rest of fascist Ukraine.

        • LadyLaz

          Kamchatka is beautiful. I don’t know that I’d want to give the Derps among us that

          • Last Hussar

            But then you work your way along the coast until you can grab Indonesia, then take New Guinea, and both halves of Australia. Makes agood base to invade Asia from. Everybody knows you can’t defend Ukraine.

        • Logic of Color

          I don’t want to be a pedantist, but Kamchatka is a peninsula

          • bobbert

            No man is a peninsula.

            Wait…

        • Mavenmaven

          Won’t Irkutsk and Yakutsk be upset?

      • Trader Vance

        Long Island? Only Kidding!!!!!!

      • Playonwords

        Kergluen, cloudiest place on the planet (averages over 2″ of rain per day), windiest place on the planet constant winds from the West averaging 22mph but frequently topping 90 mph.

      • cynmac

        Glenn Becks once proposed a Christian homeland be formed in America. Since he is in Tampa, Florida would be perfect and easily barricaded by “The Wall”

      • bobbert

        Shemya. Please.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Being a huge nerd, I’ve always been fascinated by things like sea-steading and artificial islands. It’d be a good time to try some new advances, and if it goes wrong we can shrug as we didn’t lose anything valuable.

      • TheBidenator

        Atlus Shrugged, even…

    • sewollef

      So finally you agree we Brits had it right by looking for an island – admittedly a large island – and dumping all our miscreants there for stealing loaves of bread or a sheep.

      Most never came back to the motherland, since they couldn’t afford the sea passage. Which was our plan all along.

      • Iam Reading

        Wish you would have executed the Murdochs

      • Trader Vance

        Didn’t you all suppress some other Islanders like the Irish, Aussies, Scots and Welsh????

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I was just thinking we needed to create our own Australia.

      • Playonwords

        Please recall that we only did that to Australia after we could no longer export the crims give the poor lawbreakers a second chance in the American Colonies.

      • willi0000000

        thanks a pantload.

        we got all your fundies (even the bay) who are arming up all over here.

        Oz got all your felons who have had it up to here and controlled guns.

        • just_jim

          That’s cause Australia got first pick.

          • bobbert

            Smarter.

  • cousin itt

    Gang, eh? Here’s their gang sign.

  • Anarchy Pony
  • Shibusa

    I’ll bet you there’s not a diploma or a full set of teeth between the those 15 confederate flag-humpers.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Do you have a tattoo count estimate?

      • Logic of Color

        No neck tattoo? Whadda momma’s boy.

        • jviscont1

          he’s just going with the timeless, but classic red look.

      • Wombat

        It’s the tooth to tattoo ratio that’s important.

    • TheBidenator

      I’ll bet you there’s a shitload of extra chromosomes floating in their cells…

  • goonemeritus

    Threats are not protect speech.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Nothing beats the classics.

    • sewollef

      But sadly, then didn’t surrender before causing over 600,000 deaths.

      • Takoma DC

        And the dangerous Southern stupid gene just keeps on getting passed down from pappa-brother to mamma-sister to sister-wife to brother-husband to aunties and uncles to married first cousins.

  • LadyLaz

    Gah!!!!

  • cousin itt

    Witnesses told the SPLC that men got out of their trucks, brandished weapons

    In all fairness, I wouldn’t call a meth pipe a weapon, per se.

  • Spotts1701

    So who gets to defend them: the “free speech means doing whatever I want” law firms, or the “Open Carry means never having to say you’re sorry” counsel?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I think that’s the same firm.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Maybe they can get a religious freedom attorney that normally works for the KKK? I mean, terrorizing black people is part of their religion, right?

    • ibwilliamsi

      Jeebus H. Chist & Son.

    • Truly Madly Derply

      Dewey, Blowkoch and Howe, innit?

    • Lord-Nash

      If they’re smart they’ll plead guilty to this one. Which means this will go to trial.

  • sewollef

    “….rubbing his privates against the trailer park’s communal sex goat….”

    Is there something you need to tell us Evan?

  • cleanfront

    Sis’ is gunna be mad!

  • Shibusa

    It’s almost like these Neoconfederates are not Abe-le to get over losing the Civil War.

    • Logic of Color

      General lee you are correct

    • TheBidenator

      I’d say that’s a very Marietta assessment of such a burning question….

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      It’s like they can’t see the Forrest for the trees.

    • Roadstergal

      I will Grant you that.

    • Land Shark

      I’m Sherman in the south aren’t all like this.

    • Trader Vance

      Not meaning to Bragg but after we whitewash that Picket Charge fence up the Hill, near the StoneWall on the Longstreet, it’s dinner time. Inviting Beast Butler, drinking some Meade with Custer for dessert. Party time later with the Hookers.

      • pstockholm

        Sounds very merry, mac. Will have to monitor the situation.

    • Zhu Bajie

      Other coutries had civil wars in the same years. Yet the descendants of the losers and winners find other things to talk about.

  • TheBidenator

    The leader of those ‘flaggers’ (hah, mark that one up with tea bagger in hilarity) is named “Levi Bush” why are the worst people always named Bush? Hell even the band “Bush” was like the worst band ever, too. Are they all related to each other and their descendants are distended anuses or what?

  • Hardly Ideal

    What does it say about the state of things when this is what passes for Nice Time?

    • Wombat

      Would you care to share my drink? I brought extra cups.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • TheBidenator

    In honor of “Star Wars” which I don’t even like that much but this popped into my head so deal with it: the fecalmatterchlorians are strong in these ones….

  • DoILookAmused2u ?
  • Putty

    Once again, the “testicularly challenged” take to their pickups, mount their flags, pop open some brews, lock and load and go woohooing ’round the town to display with gusto their inbred stupidity. Congrats to the lawmen who investigated and rounded them up for prosecution. And happy birthday to the person on whose special day this occurred. Sorry for the terror that marred your celebration, and try to remember it as a day when a small but significant bite was taken out of the “cowards’ cake.”

  • Putty

    Uh oh, time for the Doh!th Keepers to show up.

  • clubseal

    It’s too bad its root word is used to demean gays, because I think that “flaggots” would have been a good term for these assholes.

    • Last Hussar

      Could mean the f word is lost if we try hard enough. And think how they will howl.

      In Britain ‘faggot’ was a working class meatball before we knew what meat balls were.

      In fact what put me off these was the brand name, not the food name

      http://mrbrains.co.uk/products/

  • Bad Granny

    Have they announced their intent to use the “iced tea and skittles” defense?

    • Takoma DC

      I thought it was the “Mountain Dew & Skittles” defense? Westerners and Northerners drink “ice tea.” Whereas Southerners drink “sweet tea.”

      • Vegan and Tiara

        I prefer to call “sweet tea” the “table wine.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    It’s still a long, long haul before I’ll feel proud to be from the South, but baby steps, baby steps…

    • Takoma DC

      Do you have nice neighbors? Are most people tolerant and accepting of others. I’m a northerner who used to love the south. Past 8 years has been tough though. Evidently they’re all sugar ‘n’ spice until the Obamas moved into the White House.

      • OneYieldRegular

        I have exquisite neighbors, the best (except for that one guy everyone has as a neighbor). But then again I left the South three decades ago.

        • Takoma DC

          Oh. I was just curious if decent Southerners have to watch themselves. Or if the scum bucket brigade cited in this article is an anomaly in modern day South.

          • nightmoth

            NOT an anomaly yet. Things have damn sure changed, but there are still way too many stinking scum buckets. And dumb guys who are proud to graduate high school and settle down next to mama and never question the myths they grew up with about the Lost Cause of State’s Rights: Slavery Had Nuthin’ To Do With It.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Do you know my neighbors? It sure sounds like you do. That last line I’ve literally heard from my neighbor. Also that the KKK was formed because of “lawlessness.” I have no doubt the KKK was formed because of “lawlessness” but I’m pretty sure it was on the part of the guys in the white sheets.

          • nightmoth

            Oh, honey—I’ve heard it all my life. So very tiresome. There is no sense of history whatsoever in the South, as much as history is supposedly revered.
            I have cousins who were avid to hear oral history from my late mother about our ancestor who fought at Gettysburg and Appomattox. And they were wonderful stories! But when I prodded my Mom to tell about the ex-slave woman she knew who had whip scars all down her back, or tell about the black man dragged to death in Wilkes County for a crime he didn’t commit—oh, then they gave me side-eye because they did NOT want to hear those stories. My cousins suck.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            “Oh, slaves weren’t treated that badly” is my favorite line. There probably were some humane slave owners, and maybe even some who were really nice, but at the end of the day, you’re still working for free from sunup to sundown. Not my idea of a great time, no matter how you slice it.

          • nightmoth

            Yeah–no kidding. I HOPE that my storied ancestor was humane–he “only” had about 15 slaves so he was drafted–20 or more and one was exempt–and my mother had a lovely story about the house woman seeing him coming up the road and shouting “Massa is home!”-but when I queried my mother more closely, ALL the young slaves took their freedom and left—only the oldest stayed–whether great-granddaddy was not so bad, or not, slavery was EVIL.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I love the “if you have over 20 slaves you’re exempt for fighting a civil war that will preserve your way of life.” The South has always kissed the asses of their overlords, that’s why they still vote for the GOP. They see nothing weird about fighting for someone else’s right to get rich off of free labor. I guess that explains all the labor union hatred. Sigh…I really wish we could just let go of the past, since there are some great things about the South (mainly just the food!).

          • nightmoth

            I love you, Vegan! The food, the music, the amazing springtime full of flowers, even the sense of community in small towns (although that can also be constricting)–there’s a lot to like here, if certain white folks could just ‘fess up and act like they had good sense.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            Right back at you, my southern friend!

          • Vegan and Tiara

            I live in the South. Your question is hard to answer. There are some decent Southerners (some of them are even Republicans!) but there are a lot of really, really stupid people. They live off of Social Security, but hate “socialism.” They all hate Obama, because he’s a “socialist.” None of them even know what socialism actually is. Most of them are ignorant and have no idea what the rest of the country, much less the world, is like, and they all believe in Jeebus and trickle down economics. It’s frustrating to say the least.

          • Zhu Bajie

            Unfortunately, there are plenty of such people outside the South, too.

          • Vegan and Tiara

            True dat!

      • SpideySenser

        I thought I had nice neighbors until one of them let it “slip” about how happy they were that the new family on the block “is white”. UGH!!! And this from life-long northerners. Needless to say I could not get out of that conversation fast enough.

        • Takoma DC

          Oh that’s bad. Same scenario here in DC. We’d recently moved into a house. It needed (still needs) a lot of renovating. We had permits on the front window for different contract work.

          She said something like, “Hi! I’m your neighbor at #blah blah. It’s so nice to see white faces moving in. Welcome to the neighborhood.”

          She was in her 60’s and originally from Sweden. Had lived in DC for 20+ yrs.

          I wanted to ask her why she lives in DC if she only wants to see “white faces”? But couldn’t bring myself to ask.

          Thankfully she moved and we’ve not seen her since.

          My husband isn’t white. She was very nosey. I think when she realized the Asian dude doing lawn work at my house wasn’t my gardener, she stopped chatting with me.

          • SpideySenser

            I am surprised she would open a conversation with a stranger (future neighbor!) with such an assumption, how does she take for granted your spouse is white or even of the opposite gender? That’s some gall is what that is. Creepy, isn’t it? But on the other hand it is humorous that she thought your husband was the gardener, you folks must have had some good laughs over that. I would just make myself scarce if I ever committed a faux pas that egregious, might be why she moved, but she probably doesn’t have a conscience or a lick of common sense. 21st Century and I am still shocked.

          • SpideySenser

            I am surprised she would open a conversation with a stranger (future neighbor!) with such an assumption, how does she take for granted your spouse is white or even of the opposite gender? That’s some gall is what that is. Creepy, isn’t it? But on the other hand it is humorous that she thought your husband was the gardener, you folks must have had some good laughs over that. I would just make myself scarce if I ever committed a faux pas that egregious, might be why she moved, but she probably doesn’t have a conscience or a lick of common sense. 21st Century and I am still shocked. P.S. Good luck with the renovations.

    • cynmac

      As a native Georgian, I can say that it depends on whether you reside on an “Island of Blue” or not. The gerrymandering that keeps state-wide seats of the Federal government (like the Senate) Red-State is not so much effective at the local level. Hopefully, suits like those in Florida will become more prevalent and the states that are actually ‘purple’ will reflect that in their representatives.

  • jviscont1

    your move, Liberty Counsel.

  • Takoma DC

    Yes they lost.

    The South lost.

    The North won but was very gracious and forgave them for their sins.

    Are they taught this in school?

    • SpideySenser

      No they are not. And it’s a shame on the the North for being so gracious that they didn’t outlaw all that cray-cray confederate stuff, like statues, streets, flags and school names, etc. Those damn statues should be torn down and smashed up for the treacherous monsters they were. And rename everything while they’re at it.

  • handyhippie65

    it is about time. at least this time they didn’t just lose the paperwork.

  • jhannon

    Maybe you don’t have to use trailer-park as a way to condemn racists? It sounds more like you’ve got some class bias and are kind of, you know, a douchebag?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      White trash racists deserve all the bias they get. Because it’s obvious that you, too, are a douchebag.

    • Iam Reading

      Not all racists live in trailer parks, but all trailer park residents…….

    • Lord-Nash

      Sorry, should we just refer to them as ‘the real-life inspirations for Archie Bunker’?

  • JohnR

    What do you mean I can’t go around threatening to kill people? I want my country back!!!

    • ViveLaRes

      I’ve been wondering what that bumper sticker means.

  • Last Hussar

    A sad indictment on how far the US has slipped since the 1950’s.

    Patriotic Southrons persecuted for exercising their 1st Amendment rights of making sure everybody knows what ‘equal but separate’ means.

    It was obvious that the coo- nigg- spa- coloured gentlemen brought this on themselves – a true patriot would have been armed against a racist, or at least pointed at a Mexican and said “pick on him instead.” Isn’t that right, Ben?

    Also these Patriots are being described by the occupying Federalis as “Terrorists”. A damning indictment on the US work ethic. 15 of them and not one death. They should outsource their brave attempts to Keep America White (except for maids and poolboys) to the Ayrabs and the Mooslims, who know how to kill a foreigner, gay or abortionist.

  • How can they be classified as terrorist (not Mooslim) or gang members (not Blah)?

    I’m guessing that’ll be their defense.

    Once again: Thanks, Obummer!

    • Enfant Terrible

      It’s getting so a good ol’ boy can’t even drive his pickup into someone else’s neighborhood and stand his ground no more.

  • Esteban Rey

    UNFAIR! POLITICLE CRECKTNESS!!

  • elpinche

    Ooohh, we need another Wonkette Babby photo montage to end the day on a cute note.

    • Last Hussar

      I’m a father of teenagers, and I agree (if only to remind me what those two smelly louts used to be like)

  • Iam Reading

    Confederates lose again. Fucking losers. Wave that failure flag.

  • nightmoth

    When I saw that on the news today I had a very strange and unaccustomed feeling of pride in Georgia justice! And being proud of Georgia justice is as rare as seeing an ivory-billed woodpecker. Good for Brian Fortner.

    • natoslug

      I dunno — I see three ivory-billed woodpeckers every time I wake up after passing out on my couch.

    • SpideySenser

      I did the dance of joy upon reading this in the AM paper. Whooda thunkt GA had it in them? I love the smell of progress in the morning.

      • O4FSake

        It has been a good year for justice.

  • marxalot

  • LesBontemps

    Communal Sex Goat is definitely the name of my next band.

  • Vegan and Tiara

    I saw a bunch of these assholes driving around one day in big trucks with Stupid Flags flying. I’m not sure why they have to travel in packs. You’d think bad asses could act on their own.

    • willi0000000

      why you might even entertain the notion that a badass could go to the store without so much as a single firearm.

      • Rasilom

        Absolutely true. If they were real bad asses they would be able to just Jean Claude Vandam those bad guys!!

        • CriticalDragon1177

          Twenty US Navy Seals or Russian Spetsnaz could easily take out fifty of the “South will Rise Again” treason flag worshiping losers, even if every single one of them was armed to the teeth! The Confederacy is not coming back! Don’t like that? Get over it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I always say that to myself when I hear some trailer park patriots talking about how it is only their ceaseless armed vigilance that keeps tyranny at bay. Yeah, how you gonna stack up against SEAL Team 6, boys?

          • CriticalDragon1177

            Not to mention the entire US military?

      • Vegan and Tiara

        WUT???1!????

      • blaid droog

        If they didn’t have the firearm, they would be just another scared little redneck pussy.

        • Querolous

          Pussy Comitatus

          • blaid droog

            Clever.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The critter known as the Confederate American Bigot is, by nature, a pack animal. Though they return to their mobile home dens to sleep by day, they gather with others of their kind for nocturnal foraging and the seeking of prospective mates from other species. No evolution has been recorded since they were first observed in the wild.

      • Vegan and Tiara

        They don’t evolve, because they are too busy devolving.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          They do have the whiff of the simian about them, no?

          • Vegan and Tiara

            More like the stench of the simian, but I hate to insult the simians!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yes..we believe in diversity after all.

    • Last Hussar

      It’s become a ‘thing’ in Britain to have a car flag attached to your window during international sporting events – on a quick Google I note you can get US ones to for various colony-ball teams. They aren’t very big, but do create drag.

      A few years ago someone calculated this, and the resultant extra fuel costs. As these Good Ol’ Boys have BIG flags I assume from their pick ups, they are literally making themselves poorer to pledge allegiance to a country that hasn’t existed for 150 years.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Math is generally not their strong suit.

    • TootsStansbury

      The ones I don’t get are the ones with the goddamn treason rag flying the good old Stars and Stripes at the same goddamn time. The fuck?

      • blaid droog

        The obvious answer is deep mental illness passed on by father daughter conjugal relationships. I hear banjo music.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Lone wolves travel in packs.
      Is. A. Puzzlement.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Poor dears can’t go around terrorizin’ the nigras like their ancestors got to to. And me without a fuck to give for them.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Complete misunderstanding. Those boys were just trying to explain about St. Andrew being Jewish and they just brandished their firearms a bit because they thought the government was going to holocaust them. All these important details, lost in the fog of derp.

  • Playonwords

    I wonder how many of these trucks were “rolling coal” as well?

    • nmmagyar

      AOT, K. AOT.

      • zerosumgame0005

        it’s just what you do if you’re an inbred uneducated moran

  • jeff fearnow

    Oh please. Racism is DEAD people.

    I mean, racism is DEAD, people.

    Yeah, that’s it. I heard it on Faux!

    • willi0000000

      hell, i heard it from john roberts.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        I know and the supreme court is never wrong, except when they disagree with wingnuts. Seriously, if racism was dead we wouldn’t still have Nazis, Klansmen or run of the mill racist losers like these guys.

        • jeff fearnow

          John Roberts? isn’t he that useless lib’rul who has gone for everything the right wants (except that OOOONE thing and ooooh, aren’t they mad!)?

          Clearly a RINO. Don’t trust ‘im.

          or do. Damnit. where was I.

          • Rasilom

            If you were trying to follow the logic of Roberts you were about to attempt the anatomy impossible act of shoving your own head up your own ass then singing God Bless America.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    The racist turds’ worst nightmare, they actually enforce the law when they commit a crime, in spite of the fact that they’re white.

  • azeyote

    intimidatin? – dang – back in dem good ole days, when religious freedom flew proudly, and America was great, the whole dag gum town would come out for a friday night lynchin, and nobody would a been a bitchin bout a little fun –

    • bardgal

      In our lifetime….. that wrecks me.

  • LeftNotRightISIT

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho Ho Tee Hee Hee Hee Finally justice to be served against the inbred racist hillbillies of the huckabee duggar republican ilk ! Now THIS is something you gotta love !!!

    • O4FSake

      Love it! Right after the church massacre in South Carolina, three assholes were riding around flying confederate flags from their truck in my neighborhood. Just like Mom said your face will freeze like that, my middle finger still hasn’t gone back down.

      • jmk

        I saw some dipshit driving his big-ass truck, decorated with US and traitor flags, around a parking lot up here on librul Long Island…and watched as he turned tail and left thanks to the combined weight of the disapproving stares of the shoppers, that ranged from stony to flinty.

  • A Grumpy Cat

    I hope those fuckers [redacted for violating Wonkette’s rules for the comments that aren’t allowed] and then [redacted for violating Wonkette’s rules for the comments that aren’t allowed] before being [redacted for violating Wonkette’s rules for the comments that aren’t allowed] and then a goat [redacted for violating Wonkette’s rules for the comments that aren’t allowed] all over [redacted for violating Wonkette’s rules for the comments that aren’t allowed] and also [redacted for violating Wonkette’s rules for the comments that aren’t allowed] rect*m.

    • Rasilom

      What site can I go to to get the unexpergated comment? I loves me some rage and you seem to have my fix lol

  • kaw143

    See, and there are people who would suggest that the confederate flag is all about hate, for some reason…

  • Goposaur

    fuck these assholes.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      For God’s sake, use a condom.

    • eddi

      I refuse to dip my wick in weird.

      • bardgal

        LOL… you owe me a new keyboard.

        • eddi

          Sorry about that, chief.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    On top of everything else, they’re probably outraged at the charges against them. Issuing terroristic threats makes them sound all muslimy, and participating in gang activities makes ’em sound all thuggy.

  • Truly Madly Derply

    Won’t somebody please think of the communal sex goats?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Goats win! Goats win!

    • Lawk

      They will. Every night.

  • Lawk

    I grew up with that. Hollering and gun shots in the night. That was thirty years ago. And we still can’t move on

  • unclejeems

    Dumbasses. Can’t even wave the right flag. Here are some guys who, like my great-granddaddy, actually fought for the damned Confederacy, at a meeting of Confederate veterans in 1917. http://www.shorpy.com/node/11187?size=_original#caption

    And apparently, even back in the day, the Klan itself was careful not to wave the wrong one, great patriots that they are . Here’s a shot of a Klan konklave in 1925, held in Arlington VA. As far as I can tell, there’s not one single version of the Southern cross in the crowd. Reminds me of the Nazis in Munich, sans the swastikas. http://www.shorpy.com/node/5580?size=_original#caption

  • blaid droog

    In the late sixties and early seventies we had a great deal of racial strife in Jacksonville. In 69 we had major rioting that made the national news. The city had less than a half million people in the seventies. Now over a million live here. Our population is rapidly owing to the influx of northerners into Fl. We now have a large ethnic mix of hispanics, east europeans and middle eastern residents. All my life we had a very large Arabic population. They weren’t Muslim. Their families had been here for generations and they were mostly catholics and episcopalians. I doubt you could find anyone alive that has a clue about any racial strife here, other than those who lived through it.

  • Lord-Nash

    “Ten men and five women, not a thumb between them, were charged with issuing terroristic threats and participating in gang activity.”

    FTFY.

    • eddi

      And about eight teeth total.

  • D_C_Wilson

    What this country needs is a National Wipe Your Ass With the Flag of Southern Treason Day. Who’s with me?

  • bardgal

    So many awesome comments today! I haz a happy. Wonkette needs a dating app!

  • Kurk Schoner

    Not to piss on anyone’s parade but indicted means little. I’ll celebrate when they’re convicted.

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