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[As you know, it is Wonkette tradition to bring you Wonkette classics from the old-timey before days, because they are still frickin’ awesome. To celebrate America’s greatest American, Christopher Columbus, aka That Dick, let us enjoy, again, some classic Columbus Day Wonkette, courtesy of Ken Layne. Please also to enjoy above John Oliver’s question, what we brung you in 2014, about how the EFF this is still a thing. — Kaili]

One thousand years ago today — or Monday, the 12th — a terrible slave-trading murderer/imbecile who did not even know how to spell his own name, which is Latin for “asshole,” landed at the “Sandals” resort in Puerto Rico or some such Caribbean island and thought he was in Bangalore. What an idiot!

There is no political news today and the Capitol is vacant and even The Capitolist is quiet all because Cristóbal Colón basically did not know math and mistakenly went to the Bahamas because the Islamofascists had cut off the road to India, where Europe outsourced all the white people’s jobs. (Previously, Genghis Khan was a NAFTA signatory so it was all fine, until the Muslims!)

Seriously, Columbus was A Idiot. To his death, he was convinced the mountains of Cuba were the fucking Himalayas. George W. Bush is smart compared to Christopher Columbus, that’s how stupid Columbus was.

So on his third journey to the “Wrong India” he set up a death camp for all the “Indians” who were actually Carib tribespeople known for their colorful reggae hats and “ganja.” He killed all of those people and also many Spaniards, who finally overthrew his cruel regime and sent his ass back to Spain, where he became a total Jesus Freak and spent the rest of his life bumming people out, the end.

To this day, hippies have protests against “Killumbus” landing in the Bahamas 515 years ago, because marching around with signs is a very effective form of going back in time and killing Columbus.

 

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  • memzilla

    All smallpox-infected blankets and iron shackles on sale!
    .

    • But first you have to get completely lost and wander into the wrong store.

      • Redgyal

        After copying what someone else did years before you. Then take credit for it.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Murdering the staff is considered passé, so try not to.

      • Beezelbubbles

        Save that for the return trip.

      • toomanyrappers

        What about kidnapping, rape, and slavery? ;)

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …wait a second I thought Jesus discovered America?!?!

    • JustPixelz

      It was Jesus. It’s only political correctness by hyphenated Italian-Americans and their comrades in the liberal media that have perpetuated this Columbus myth. Also, have you noticed those Italian-Americans don’t bother to speak English in their restaurants? “risotto”, “fettucini”, “pizza”. SPEAK AMERICAN!

      • H0mer0

        funiculi, funicula….toe-may-to, toe-mah-to..

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Nope, Jesus didn’t discover American, he just wrote the Constitution along with Ronald Raven. You Libtards should study this all out in the Bible. Learn American!

      • diogenez

        Yuh Morans…!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Although Joseph Smith reminds us that Jesus is returning to His hometown of Independence, MO come Rapturing time.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Sure, Jesus will skip the Hamptons, the South of France, Carmel CA, so he can head to Missouri for his last days on earth. That seems completely logical.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Now I’m hearing that He’s probably just coming to Vegas. Trump offered a discounted room and some free chips.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        That was amazing. You have nailed Foxviewerspeak!

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I’m surrounded by Fox News watchers in my every day life. Sigh…

    • Brother Yam

      You got the OLD Texas history book. You need the NEW Texas history book.

      Stupid libtard, READ A BOOK…

  • DahBoner
  • Ryan Denniston

    I feel this is what Ken is trying to tell us.

  • dslindc

    Killing Columbus, a new book by Bill O’Reilly, probably.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He WAS on board the Santa Maria, after all.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Happy Indigenous Peoples Day. Ben Carson says you are a bunch of pussies that should have all rushed the invading white man hordes.

    • Ryan Denniston

      I tell ya. Those tribes had some crazy gun control! Man, no one had a gun.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Don’t give the gun nuts another lame argument – they have plenty of ’em already.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Because Native Americans had extensive trading relationships, by the time Europeans arrived in any significant numbers, the indigenous population was already decimated by disease. Guns, germs, or steel? I’ll take germs for 10 million, Alex.

      • FauxAntocles

        Anti-vaxxers have a long reach, I tell ya.

  • LarryHoudini

    Huh? Columbus Day isn’t about murdering people, it’s about celebrating Italian heritage!
    NOW EAT A CANNOLI OR I’LL KILL YOU.

    • Vegan and Tiara

      I thought “Houdini” sounded vaguely Eye-talian.

      • LarryHoudini

        Oh, I get it–just cause I threatened to kill you, all Italians are in the mafia.
        NOW WHO’S NOT BEING PC, VEGAN AND TIARA?

        • Vegan and Tiara

          I only became suspicious when you kept asking me to start your car for you, while you cowered inside.

          • H0mer0

            Nessun dorma

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      By the time you take the cannoli, it’s too late.

    • Redgyal

      Which is why they should call it Julius Caesar Day instead.

  • deanbooth

    “I live in Columbus.” — me and, in 1493, the syphilis bacillus.

    • Tansy Geek

      Pedantic response: it’s a spirochete actually. But spirochete doesn’t rhyme with anything so up vote.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        A spirochete gave me gleet.

        • Tansy Geek

          Is that a gluten allergy that makes you sing in harmony?

        • H0mer0

          “…and a golden girdle round my sweet, o quelle e belle la Marguerite.”*

          *apologies to H.D. and Ezra Pound scholars

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    And the Canadians get a thanksgiving on this date.

    • What do Canadians eat on Canadian Thanksgiving?

      • Skwerl King

        Beaver.

        • SnarkTank

          That seals it, I’m moving to Canadia! Surely, their political leaders aren’t as big A Idiots as our, amirite? Wait, what?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Their women rock! At least they did 30 years ago before I got married and my wife locked up my peen.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          With undressing.

      • dslindc

        Poutine, I assume.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Is it too late to encourage the consumption of millions of Canada geese?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          That would only make a small dent, but it’s a start!

      • Suttree

        Poutine drowned in maple syrup?

    • calliecallie

      No wonder things are so slow at work today. It’s Columbus Day AND Canadian Thanksgiving!

  • Msgr_Moment

    What an idiot!

    You mean “A idiot”. Sheesh, what a idiot!

  • Squirrel_t_robot

    Colombus was a blood thirsty mo fo doing the bidding of two racist and anti Semitic Kings (Isabella was so powerful, she was called a king), for the money.

    He discovered nothing beyond how well syphilis travels, and maybe he gave Europe tomatoes along with VD.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Chocolate. It makes all the misery, death and destruction worthwhile.

      • Redgyal

        And corn for polenta.

  • FauxAntocles

    I’m celebrating by sitting at my desk “working”.

  • JMP

    Columbus Day is always a very weird day, because as a federal holiday Washington and its attendant media is mostly shut down; yet, virtually no private complanies have it off (except for banks), so except for government and bank employees and school children it’s just another regular working Monday.

    • Suttree

      Yup. I was almost to the social security office a few minutes ago before I realized it was this dumbass holiday. I don’t know how I keep losing my s.s. cards. The ghost of my last kitty must keep stealing them.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Is there any known real-world use for a SS card? I got one when I was a toddler, and I have no clue where it might have gotten to in the intervening decades. My mother probably mounted it in a scrapbook – I should ask.

        • Suttree

          W-4 tax forms mostly. My last two employers let me slide because I have my ss# memorized at I was whiter than most of the crew. And after 9/11 N.J. requires a shit ton of documents for I.D. if you’re stupid and didn’t realize that yours expired about four months ago.

        • Biff52

          I had to find mine when I got my passport. Other than that, I haven’t found a need for it since I opened my first bank account, which, come to think of it, was with the Romish Bank of America, and they took every last cent for “fees”. Fuck the Italians, I say!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I haven’t had a SS card since I sold mine for 10 bucks to a swarthy, Middle Eastern-looking gentleman in an airport terminal

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            My German residence permit (Aufenthaltstitel) is worth a small fortune to any refugee from Iraq unfortunate enough to look like me.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He may look like you, but can he snark like you?

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            Or unfortunate enough to snark like me.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It would probably lead to a highly unfortunate public spectacle in the town square in certain Middle Eastern countries.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          I still have my original from 1965. Had to dig it out for a gubmint job in the not too distant past (when I used to “work”).

        • Lascauxcaveman

          As an employer (That’s “job creator” to you, son) I am required to see the actual physical SS card* to properly, legally fill in an I-9 form.

          *(certain combinations of substitutes are acceptable)

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            I guess my passport did the trick then.

        • mtn_philosoph

          You need to produce it when you start a new job. It is required proof of US citizenship (don’t want to hire any of them ill eagles, you know) and of identity. You can present a variety of proofs for this (and you will need to show at least two), but the SS card must be one of them.

  • Msgr_Moment

    In 1492, the Taino ruled Cuba. Today there are no Taino. Thanks, Obama.

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    Happy Columbus Day.

    On this day we honor the memory of the Great Man by cutting off the noses and ears of people who shoplift, and then selling them into slavery.

    Also too, we cut out the tongues of ladies who call us names, and parade them through the streets naked.

    And finally, chop up some brown people and parade their parts through the streets as a warning to other brown people.

    Columbus once punished a man found guilty of stealing corn by having his ears and nose cut off and then selling him into slavery. Testimony recorded in the report claims that Columbus congratulated his brother Bartolomé on “defending the family” when the latter ordered a woman paraded naked through the streets and then had her tongue cut out for suggesting that Columbus was of lowly birth.[76]

    The document also describes how Columbus put down native unrest and revolt; he first ordered a brutal crackdown in which many natives were killed and then paraded their dismembered bodies through the streets in an attempt to discourage further rebellion.[77]

    “Columbus’s government was characterised by a form of tyranny,” Consuelo Varela, a Spanish historian who has seen the document, told journalists.[76] “Even those who loved him [Columbus] had to admit the atrocities that had taken place

    • Ryan Denniston

      Those parts do not count because they do not come from fetuses.

      • DoILookAmused2u ?

        Yes, you are right. Obviously a Pro-Life Christian and End of Times guy..

        Some of his main points from his Book of Prophecies

        1. Christianity must be spread throughout the world.

        2. The Garden of Eden must be found – It was the common belief in the Middle Ages that the biblical Garden of Eden must have been on the top of a crag or mountaintop so that it would not have been affected by the first destruction of the world by flood. Upon arriving in Venezuela in 1498, Columbus may have thought that the verdant crags of Venezuela bore the garden of the Old Testament of the Bible.[citation needed]

        3. A Last Crusade must take back the Holy Land from the Muslims, and that when Christ comes, he will come back in the place he lived and died: Jerusalem.

        4. A Last World Emperor must be chosen – Columbus had chosen, at least in his mind, that the Catholic Monarchs, Ferdinand and Isabella, would fulfill this position due to the vast imperial power and religious conviction the Spanish monarchs claimed. A last world emperor would be necessary to lead the aforementioned crusade against the Muslims and to greet Christ at Jerusalem once the previous steps had been completed.

        • Ryan Denniston

          Sounds a lot like the Religious Freedom crowd. Christ, we’re going to have to live with them forever aren’t we?

          • DoILookAmused2u ?

            It has been a long, dark journey toward enlightenment broken up occasionally by only more dark shit.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            You don’t hear much about the Garden of Eden from the Fundie mentals, so maybe there’s a chance they’ll drop the Jerusalem crap in another 500 years.

        • H0mer0

          strangely ironic considering Columbus was supposedly a Conversi and could have been Inquisitioned himself. Reminds me of another anti-semite whose name is frequently invoked for hyperbole when describing Obamacare.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sheesh – he makes Fra. Junipero Serra look like a saint.

      • Biff52

        Well…

    • Biff52

      Sounds like there is a lot of precedent for Columbus Day parades, at least.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Columbus was a real dick and so brutal that even the Spanish authorities (yes, the frickin’ spaniels Spanish Court!) said, “Whoa, dude, really? We mean, really?!?!” and clapped him in prison. Even after his release he spent the rest of his life as a nearly destitute pariah.

  • Bill Slider

    515 years ago, must have been a really big fucking deal. Were there big sales at the mall then, too?

    • Catstro

      We needed new winter hats and gloves, so I headed to the mall this weekend to pick some up. I was all like “why is everything on super mega sale”, and then I realized oh, Colombus Day (Gap had it printed in tiny font, just a tad bigger than the sale’s exclusions). I felt dirty taking the discount. Not dirty enough to come back another day, but dirty nonetheless.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …in the immortal words of Chris Rock: “Christopher Columbus discovering America is like a car thief discovering your car stereo!”

  • handyhippie65

    i am thankful that magoo found this place, but, i’m not so sure he is a hero.

    • JustPixelz

      He found it about 15,000 years after the ancestors of today’s Messicans found it.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        And had it not been there, would have died in a huge fucking ocean that spread from Europe to SE Asia.

      • handyhippie65

        as someone who is 1/8 cherokee, it was my ancestors too.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      If the natives had originated writing de novo and had a couple hundred more years and discovered steel, things could have gone much differently.

      • JustPixelz

        America was still a gun free (aka “sitting duck”) zone back then.

        • DoILookAmused2u ?

          Columbus did not have much in the way of guns. Horses and steel swords, yes. Infectious diseases the natives had no immunities too, yes.
          Writing, yes. And a talent for being duplicitous with language, bingo.

          Also too: a sense of entitlement so profound that when natives dropped dead from diseases his own men brought with them that he would pronounce it as “The WIll of God”, check.

  • JustPixelz

    Fox News covered it:
    GOVERNMENT-RUN MISSION TO INDIA FAILS
    Obama blames Christians

  • Bill Slider

    1492, wasn’t that also the last time the Cubs made a run for the World Series? No wonder it’s a holiday.

    • sw19womble

      Also a sure sign of the coming Zombie Apocalypse

  • Oblios_Cap

    At least I won’t get any bills today.

  • I’m actually not super into War on Christmas, because pretty lights and presents. But I am totally down with War on Columbus Day.

    • Ryan Denniston

      I’m certain it’ll be discussed ad nauseum on Fox at some point.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What are your thoughts about the War on Grandparents Day?

  • Skwerl King

    Right wing outrage in 3-2-1…

    I kid of course, the right-wing outrage is like the background radiation in the Universe. It’s always been there since the Big Derp.

    • JustPixelz

      Outrage is their default setting. We’re gonna need a way to calibrate it.

      GREEN : Normal. Liberals and Obama are destroying America
      BLUE : Heightened. Christians about to be rounded up.
      YELLOW : Elevated. LGBT students detected at local school
      ORANGE : High. Sharia Law may be imminent.
      RED : Apocolypse. Macy’s not saying “Merry Christmas” in ads

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        FLASHING RED: This is the end. Any hint of sensible gun control.

        • artem1s

          Star Trek red alert klaxons: Obama did a thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!911!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Crap – I have things to do today, and there’s that fucking parade screwing up traffic. The Post Office is the least of my worries.

    • Skwerl King

      Here we don’t have parades on this day, we have protests.

  • cousin itt

    Goodbye, Columbus.

  • Cleo_Cat

    And Ferdinand and Isabella funded Columbus using money/ treasure confiscated from the Jews that they threw out of Spain. The Inquisition — good times.

    • Brother Yam

      Circle of Grift, man.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Torquemada rawked.

    • sw19womble

      You’ve got to spend other people’s money to make money.

  • Lot_49

    Ah Ken Layne….many’s the time almost kicked out the chair after reading one of his fine pieces. Good times!

  • goonemeritus

    Italians that came to America were overwhelmingly form southern Italy. As far as I can tell my Mother and Columbus are the only two that came from the North. And since my Mother didn’t roundup and murder any indigenous people I think on average northern Italian immigration has been a pretty good thing.

    • Juan de Fuca

      My grandmother and many other members of my family came from Giuliano Teatino in the Abruzzo area of Italy. Every now and then, they would bring up stories about how difficult it was for them when they first arrived. They were strongly influenced to not pass down the language because they had to assimilate. Now that I live in Southern California (in an area similar to the Abruzzo region of Italy) I love hearing spanish almost everywhere that I go. If I could go back in time, I would beg my grandmom to pass the Italian language on because I might have learned how to roll my R’s properly. I suck at Italian…

      • goonemeritus

        Questa è tragico

        • Juan de Fuca

          io sono terribile

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Although I am, in most respects, el gringissimo de los gringos, I can roll my r’s properly and recently forced myself to figure out exactly how I was doing it so I could explain it to others. What I found was that I am placing the sides of the tongue against the upper teeth, leaving the tip loose so that it vibrates when I push air across it. It takes a little practice but see if that helps.

        Aside to our delected commenter: Although I am sure that you are creaming your Depends, I am only describing how to pronounce the letter r in Spanish and Italian. This has no sexual content outside of your crazed, hothouse imagination, you perv, you.

  • calliecallie

    The reason some folks still have Columbus Day off is because the unions have not negotiated it away yet. Solidarnosc, bitches.

    • Biff52

      It’s been awhile since I worked, but I seem to remember this one falling to Ahnold’s mighty sword about 10 years ago?

  • Skwerl King

    Also we are asked to refer to the day as “Indigenous Peoples Day” by the city.

    • Brother Yam

      We have the same here in Minneapolis. Prolly due to the lack of Italians.

  • calliecallie

    Oh, the irony. I have to renew my driver’s license, which I can do by mail this year. So I left an envelope with all my paperwork and check in my mailbox, but there’s no mail today! On the other hand, the DMV here is open.
    Plus no bank, I just realized. I guess that frees up my lunch hour.

  • Columbus was the first time I realized that history wasn’t objective, but part of a national myth that was created, promoted, and celebrated for the purpose of overlooking the dark places of America and promoting us as a uniquely moral, good people.

    • Biff52

      How silly. If this were the case, why don’t we have a day to celebrate reagan?

      • Not enough time has passed.

      • sw19womble

        In the GOP, if the day has a “y” in it.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Or Bush day?

  • Lawk

    Didn’t realize it was Columbus day. Everything here is normal. School uses all these not really holidays to keep the kids from going thru June in case of a heavy winter. Tourist town, never shuts down.

    • Spotts1701

      Yeah, not recognized as a holiday here either. We traded it for Nevada Day (October 31, though observed on the last Friday of the month) a long, long time ago.

      • Biff52

        I used to work for the State of CA, yet lived across the border in NV, along with the rest of my crew. It was a de facto holiday, since all of my subordinates had kids home from school and I couldn’t field a team, anyway.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Don’t tell me, Incline Village?

          • Biff52

            Shoshone, Death Valley Adjacent.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Ski town?

      • Lawk

        Nah. Ozarks

  • Biff52

    I prefer to celebrate Thanksgiving today, with my Canadian brethren.

    • FauxAntocles

      That’s UnMurkin! Are you some kind of commie?

      • Biff52

        Oh hahaha! That’s a rhetorical question, right?

        • Querolous

          Some kind of comma?

    • sw19womble

      Since I am stuck in my London outpost, I got a nice Thanksgiving report from my neighbours this morning. Apparently a bumper crop of apples this year and all the locals are making loads of “pressed apple juice”.
      How long does illegal hooch take to brew again?

      • Suttree

        Never made hard cider but down south we let the muscadine wine go for 28 days. It was just about brandy at that point though. I assume the correct answer is how much do you want to have to drink to catch a buzz.

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Brennerei Mischler & Raudonat Fruit-Distillery – Reichenbach-Steegen.

          My local schnapps brennerei. Takes a few days.

    • Vienna Woods

      It’s been a grand one here in SW Ontario. Full turkey dinner for just me and Mr VW yesterday (kids out west, family getting together next Sunday). I do believe stuffing is my most favorite food in the world.
      Today, off to the beach!

      • Biff52

        Enjoy the beach!

        My late Cousin Elek Imredy has sculptures scattered throughout the country, you’ve probably seen them.

  • sw19womble

    OT but did Wonkette get hacked a little further down the page?
    “Sponsored content” from some day-trader type app seems like a weird choice for this place. :/

  • Jeamonn

    In·di·an
    ˈindēən/
    adjective
    1.
    of or relating to the indigenous peoples of America.
    2.
    of or relating to India or to the subcontinent comprising India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh.

    This is the result of Columbus being A idiot. The biggest thing about Columbus that bothers me is the fact that this guy was a monumental fuck up and yet…he has statues and what not. This guy invented failing upwards. I wonder if Fiorina is related to him? Maybe thats what Columbus Day should be all about…fucking up and spinning it. I challenge all of you to fuck something up today and get a promotion by the end of the day.

  • Sam Hain

    Required reading for those of us who do not have “shit fer brains”.

    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/columbus_day

    • Lord-Nash

      That’s one hell of a damn good read.

  • Me not sure

    I drove to Florida a few years ago and discovered a miraculous island called Palm Beach. If I kill and enslave the residents, can I keep it?

    • Jeamonn

      do you have a flag?

      • Me not sure

        Yes… and a pointy stick to put it on.

      • Takoma DC

        Oh yes. Don’t fergit yer flag.

        • LesBontemps

          Also too, you must claim it “for Spain.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I think Trump beat you to it.

      • Me not sure

        What do you not understand about kill and enslave? Also too, pointy stick?

    • Takoma DC

      Make sure to get the yuuuge orange simian-looking one first. Once he’s been captured (or killed – please killz him he’s an asshat), all the others will be easy to control and enslave.

      • Me not sure

        Can I killz him with votes?

  • Jason M

    Not for nothin’, but it’s topical, oh! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbbMIg-Aw8E

  • Tansy Geek

    I really like how in Canada the indigenous peoples are called the First Nations. Of course they were treated horribly by the Europeans too but at least they not named after people on a completely different continent.

    • weejee

      The real Indians find that geographic faux pas quite amusing.

      Our beloved All-Merican editorial genius with shit-stained breeches not so much.

  • Juan de Fuca

    No holiday here because it’s California – we trade the holiday for Cesar Chavez Day as it should be. Also, too we became the first state to ban the “redskins” nickname today, something this Jersey immigrant is proud of because Jerry Brown kicks ass. Now, how about banning those confederate names from government buildings and schools governor? It’s fucking California. Much love for the dude, though.

    http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/california-becomes-first-state-ban-redskins-nickname-n442561

    • The Molten Soul

      The Dude abides.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Governor OF MY HEART!

  • elpinche

    Fuck Columbus and fuck Pluto.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And Daffy!

    • tinywriting

      You have to let it go, Pinche.

    • sw19womble

      elpinche is in the pocket of Big Neptune and everyone knows it!

      • H0mer0

        not in Uranus?
        (okay, I was just leaving….)

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    “LiberalsAreDisgusting • 15 minutes ago
    Liberals don’t believe there is a fundamental right to keep and bear arms, but DO believe there is a fundamental right of a woman to vacuum her baby’s brain out because bringing it to term would be inconvenient, and for a man to insert his raging member into another man’s rear end and call it consummating a marriage.”

    We also believe it is a fundamental right to remove you with a pooper-scooper like any other dog shit.

    • Biff52

      I tried to reply to it, but Zoom was already on it. That’s dedication, working on a holiday!

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Wonder what he calls it when he insert his raging [albeit tiny] member into his cousin’s rear end?

        • tinywriting

          You know what right-wing tards do on Halloween? Pumpkin.

      • Callyson

        Scroll up–the troll is reincarnated!

      • TheBidenator

        It’s still here….I just replied to it.

    • weejee

      Will the good Dok be serving this up this coming Sabbath as a Shit for Brains aperitif?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Mmmm vacuumed fetuses and …wait. Raging member?
      Do ALL these deleted commentors secretly write porn fiction?

    • Callyson

      Damn, did I miss the chance to fuck with a troll?

      Oh well, thanks for being on it, Dok!

    • tinywriting

      It’s the same guy who’s fixated on rear ends. Can’t we get him together with one of our commenters?

    • TheBidenator

      We also believe there is a right to fetus chili with the results. Also it seems like your take on the right to bear arms is probably so you can shove the gun barrel up your butt while writing vivid descriptions of gay sex on websites.

  • Biff52

    I live in a town with almost as many Native Americans as anyone else. The local high school was embroiled in early civil rights battles, with the Piper v. Big Pine/ ruling. Ironically, the high school’s mascot still remains The Warriors after all these years.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Warrior is not derogatory.. If you want to insult the people, call the team “Redskin Savages”.

      That should do it.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Well thanks to his AWESOMENESS, my main man Governor Moonbeam has outlawed that shit once and for all. God bless you, Jerry.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Did some climbing west of Bishop and Big Pine back in the day. Gorgeous.

      • Biff52

        I moved to the Eastern Sierra right out of high school and aside from a few years when work took me away, I’ve been here all my adult life. No place else to be.

    • H0mer0

      “The Warriors did it!”

    • Playonwords
  • Redgyal

    And that sad, depressing feeling comes back again. At least now we all understand what property rights are.

    • The Molten Soul

      Yeah, now we’re savages with mortgages.

  • Callyson
  • tinywriting

    It’s not the ‘wrong India’. It’s the ‘other India’.

    • H0mer0

      I’ve been too timid to ask the denizens of the subcontinent who are from Bangladesh or Pakistan whether they still refer to themselves as Indians (my SO just told me my brown visage belies a blonde California surfer gurl just barely below the dermis). Can any of youse enlighten me?

  • LiberalsAreDisgusting

    Why do liberals think that one man violently ramming his throbbing member into another man’s rect*m and slamming it against his prostate while screaming loudly in ecstasy and releasing gallons of sticky, greasy splooge deep inside as the adopted children sleep next door in the “family” home qualifies as an “act of love” that “consummates a marriage?”

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Damn dude, you write gay porn eh? Thanks for a Monday fap post!

      Also, thank you for coming here and giving us disgusting liberals your page click revenue ^.^

    • Callyson

      IDK, but here’s a question for you:

      Why do wingnuts think about one man violently ramming his throbbing member into another man’s rectum and slamming it against his prostate while screaming loudly in ecstasy and releasing gallons of sticky, greasy splooge deep inside?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Right, Cally? I am all excited now, and not in the mad about a thing way. I am about ready for my bunk. I am hoping he gives us MOAR gallons of sticky, greasy splooge

        • sw19womble

          LAD scowled at the anchor of the swim team, as he padded past him in the locker room. He didn’t understand why the guy annoyed him so much… perhaps it was the revoltingly flawless skin, glistening under the low hum of the lights. Or maybe the tiny droplets of water, comingling with sweat, forming on his chin.
          LAD stared down at the plastic matting and suppressed a growl.
          He ought to be proud of the school’s favourite son, but something inside him burned away, like a slow fuse on a stick of dynamite. LAD clenched his fists and looked up, just in time to see Mister Perfect, bending down, slipping out of his speedos and picking his towel on his way to the shower area, naked as the day he was born.
          So brazen! LAD thought. It wasn’t right. He didn’t know why, but the flaunting of that well-developed body, the finely-honed triangular torso… LAD tried not to think of Mister Perfect twisting the knob on the shower with a deft, delicate touch, allowing the fine spray of warm water to cascade through his short mop of black hair, down his neck, spilling with a patter over those sturdy shoulders…

          HTH ;)

          • The Molten Soul

            LAD is going to plagiarize that hawtness.

          • Suttree

            You misspelled fap to.

          • HeywoodJablomey

            You’re good at this, womble! Do go on luv…

          • sw19womble

            Aww, okay then, just one extra snippet… :)

            That strange tightness in LAD’s chest returned. He suddenly felt dizzy, almost claustrophobic… He told himself to just grab his clothes and get out of there. He could shower when he got home. In the confines of the boy’s locker room it no longer felt… safe?
            As he struggled with the decision, something lurking deep inside him boiled up, a hot, fiery ball of anger. expanding, filling his lungs back up with air. He convinced himself that it was the urge not to be driven out of his territory by the popular pretty boy.
            This was a jocks-only area!
            With a steely determination, LAD carefully tucked his towel around his midriff and made his way past the clusters of guys, laughing and joking together… and on towards the shower area.
            As he reached the gauntlet of shower cubicles, he desperately tried to keep his gaze straight ahead – to keep his head down, do what he needed to and get the hell out of there… And yet something made him glance sideways.
            Perhaps it was the flicker of the blue plastic curtain. The slight movement of a stray and soapy limb a short distance behind…
            LAD’s firm gait slowed, unconsciously, allowing him to turn his head, if just for a fleeting moment. That slight crease in the curtain, allowing him to burn the image of the swimmer’s bare buttock, the bubbly residue being washed down the back of those leg muscles. Firm thick cables… tightening and releasing, as the swimmer shuffled beneath the spray of warm water…
            A moment caught in time.
            Without even realising it, LAD had opened the neighbouring curtain with a deft swish; hung his towel on the hook and was standing, naked, alone, yet so close to the object of his… fixation…
            LAD stood for a moment, trying to calm his breathing…
            The steam rising from the neighbouring cubicle, swirling above his head, curling into his lungs.
            That strange tightness in his chest returning, burning…
            What the hell am I doing? LAD felt himself panicking, as he fiddled with the shower knob with a breathless nervousness, feeling that first splash of water hitting his face, before glancing down at the perfectly-formed feet that padded around on the wet tiles, only inches from his own, naked, trembling body…

          • Suttree

            I believe you have sent a few people to their bunk today! Bravo!

          • sw19womble

            It was my pleasure!

            *fans own face with newspaper*

          • Playonwords

            OK, you’re just a few words away from 99 cents on Amazon and big money film rights

      • clubseal

        I know that it’s a troll and doesn’t need to make sense, but you’d think there would be some segue into why one would post about buttfucking on a Columbus Day post.

        • sw19womble

          Well, it was a long voyage….

          • Playonwords

            The ships; one was named for the cries of ecstacy “Santa Maria!” and the other for the amount of sperm – the Pinta

        • Brewerofbeers

          It kind of writes itself.

        • Suttree

          Italian guys turn him on?

        • TheBidenator

          With this kind of obsession this sick bastard is the kind of prick who’ll shove a broomstick up some dudes butt partly out of desire but mostly out of jealousy….

          • Suttree

            And without the common courtesy of giving him a reach-around I’m sure.

          • TheBidenator

            That pretty much goes without saying trolls aren’t known for their courtesy.

          • The Molten Soul

            Wingnuts are so selfish.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          Trying to make it through accounts of depravity that makes my stomach want to give up breakfast isn’t hard enough. I get to descend into a troll’s fevered recollection of his best day evar. Shock and awe sex. Ooh. I am positively scandalized. I’ll be on my fainting couch if anyone wants to bring me a drink, you know, for the scandalism of it all.

      • “Amberly”?

        • Playonwords

          “I remember Amberley” isn’t that a line from “Rebecca?”

    • Brewerofbeers

      Are you asking for a date to find out why? I would be happy to ram my throbbing member up your ass and slam it against your prostate to show you how much fun it can be, but I am not really the marrying type.

      • And kids are right out of the question. I can barely remember to keep my pets fed.

    • sw19womble

      Yaoi!!! So hot!!!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Just wondering…does your Aryan Brotherhood group call themselves The Raging Members?

      • The Molten Soul

        Internet win! Bareback zieg heil.

        • HeywoodJablomey

          Throbbing members macht frei.

      • Playonwords

        Remember the Four Skins?

    • sw19womble

      And yet, as always, no outrage about any girl-on-girl action….

      • TheBidenator

        It rages me just ya know….not in the brain so much. I’ll be in my bunk.

        • Suttree

          Je suis throbbing member.

          • sw19womble

            Ce jour, nous sommes tous des throbbing members

          • LesBontemps

            Toujours, n’est-ce pas?

          • HeywoodJablomey

            Toujours prêt!

    • Bellis

      Wow! Gallons?

      • Callyson

        LAD is a little clueless when it comes to basic biology, amiright?

        • sw19womble

          He/She got their sex ed from that scene in Scary Movie.

          • Suttree

            I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is a guy. Not that I haven’t heard the wimminz hating on gays, but this dude has thought long and hard about this.

          • sw19womble

            With the emphasis on the hard, presumably.
            Long, I’m not so sure about….

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Don’t know much about biology
          Don’t know much a-nat-omy…

      • Brewerofbeers

        It depends on how long your previous dry spell has been. I am guessing his is been pretty long.

    • Spotts1701

      And yet if it were a man and a woman, it’s okay?
      I mean, I’m just checking to see if you oppose the act or the individuals. If the former, well different strokes for different folks. If the latter, you might want to dial down the descriptiveness…people may ask questions.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Come out of the closet into the light, friend. You’ll still be a pathetic dickwad in the eyes of others, but you’ll like yourself better.

    • TheBidenator

      Back to the gay sex, again man? I guess we know which wingnut is the absolute saddest rentboy closed down….
      This has to be the most awkward, uncomfortable gay sex obsessed troll I’ve ever seen. Just come out of the closet, you’ll probably feel a lot happier that way and you can hang out with our gay wonkers, they’re all cool.

    • Biff52

      Rect*m. With your wrongly descriptive account of ass-fucking, you choose to redact rectum?

    • memzilla

      Ladies and gentlemen: THE ARISTOCRAT!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Dennis Hastert, is that you? If it isn’t Denny, it’s got to be Larry Craig.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hi, I’m Mike Huckabee, and I confirm this message.

    • I feel like this is a trick question.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Yeah, it’s one of those, “Do you still splooge your rent boy” questions.

        • Suttree

          “So when did you stop masturbating outside the boys locker room?”

      • The Molten Soul

        I see the problem here. His first time was with a Bear. He should’ve gone Twink.

    • bookish

      Good heavens you spend a lot of effort on thiis don’t you?

    • A Grumpy Cat

      I feel like I’ve read this fanfic before…

      • Suttree

        Worst Anne Rice slash fic evar

    • Rasilom

      I bet this troll has no problem with throbbing members being slammed into a lady butt while he screams loudly and releases gallons of his sticky greasy splooge cause Jesus likes hetero butt sexing don’t ya know. I swear just accept the fact that no human person will ever want to fuck you without prepayment and go back to your bridge.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      *Yawn* You’ve posted this same exact drivel here before. We’re tired of hearing about your fantasies.

    • Playonwords

      Show us what you mean? demonstrate what it is you find disgusting? what is your user name on Grindr?

      If God din’t mean men to be homosexual, why did he make prostate easier to stimulate via the anus?

      • sw19womble

        Intelligent Design in action!

    • sillyclucker

      Obviously it’s all God’s will or it wouldn’t be happening. Let go and let God (or Todd or whoever) .

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Don’t come back here until you have sufficient time to give each and every one of us a rim job.

      • lol, now you’re just making him happy,T.

  • Magic Juan

    To be truthful you could probably classify most of what all white folks, leaders on down to the common folk, did to native north americans, as pretty much the same things Columbus did to them. Then once they’d killed or driven off the native folks they imported in black folks to beat on.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Pretty much yeah, but Columbus started it. They need to just change the day to “Happy being a white conquistador bent on genocide day” then?

      • eddi

        Actually he was not bent on genocide. He needed live slaves to keep things going. The fact everybody died of various diseases, malnutrition and overwork was a loss on the old balance sheet. Fortunately there were abundant replacements in Africa. Of course the situation changed once civilization arrived on the mainland. Then it was Lebensraum for the invaders and their chattel.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Cut ’em up in pieces, and then have a parade through the streets of the pieces as a warning to the rest of em to follow Jesus real good?

      Columbus was pretty creative in a Hellraiser kind of way.

  • Spotts1701

    The world, she’s-a round!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBv3_0j0y_4

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    On the positive side he opened the door to legionnaires disease infection on cruise ships.

  • LiberalsAreDisgusting

    The perverted Kennedy wrote that gay marriage is about dignity. Sorry, but there’s nothing dignified about one man violating another’s anus.

    • Suttree

      It’s your prerogative if you want it to be nasty and dirty and make you feel a bit ashamed. Whatever turns you on hon.

      • sw19womble

        But don’t forget your safe word!

        • Suttree

          Bananarama!11!!1

        • HeywoodJablomey

          NIKE,!!!1!!

    • tinywriting

      Right! Everyone knows that you should be hiding VALUABLES in your anus!

    • Not if you’re doing it right.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Someone so concerned about this (I’m talking about you LAD!) is surely interested…

    • Steverino247

      Jerry, you’ve simply got to stop all this silly nonsense. You’re supposed to be running a business down in Costa Rica to avoid heavy taxes up here in the States, aren’t you?

    • tinywriting

      This guy is screaming to come out of the closet. Help him, somebody!

      • Brewerofbeers

        I offered him a date. Waiting for a response.

        • tinywriting

          The eyes of a grateful Wonkette commentariat turn to you.

          • Beezelbubbles

            You lie! Wonkette does not allow comments, so how can there be a commentariat?

          • tinywriting

            You’re right. Wonkette does NOT allow comments. I was referring to the new sport of ‘commentariat racing’ (See Hur, Ben).

          • tinywriting

            Actually what Wonkette does not allow is comment deletion (‘uncommenting’, as it were).

          • tinywriting

            ..

          • Mehmeisterjr

            The Kentucky Derby does not allow office assistants to run in their race and yet they had a Secretariat.

        • You are a brave soul.

          • Brewerofbeers

            I am all for encouraging him to explore his sexuality. ;)

          • Fair enough – I just don’t want him exploring mine.

          • TheSailor

            Damn nëgro, Markus deleted all of your comments on RawStory. He is going to ban you dogg.

          • Brewerofbeers

            Obsessed and racist, much?

          • TheSailor

            How am I racist? Markus did light you though, and he deleted all of your posts.

          • TheSailor

            MynameisBlarney basically called you a hick, and you just rolled over and took it.

    • sw19womble

      But you’re okay with two ladies rubbing their naughty bits together, right?

      • Beezelbubbles

        Do you have two ladies handy? Asking for a friend who wants to make sure he’s ok with it.

        • sw19womble

          Sorry, I lent my last matching pair to a friend who was shooting a documentary. Bastard still hasn’t given them back! :(

          • Suttree

            It’s ok, they don’t have to match. they could even be black and white. No Kim Davis though!

          • eddi

            (barf) And things started off so well this morning.

          • zerosumgame0005

            you just had to go there!

          • Suttree

            Sorry. :( I started to get too excited. That was quicker than thinking about baseball.

          • zerosumgame0005

            Kim Davis is to erectile dysfunction as Ben Carson is to history, they both cause failure modes to come on-line…

          • Suttree

            I wonder if I could patent a picture of Kimmy in a prescription bottle as a cure for priapism?

          • zerosumgame0005

            I think having the doc stick a needle in my penis would still be less painful…

          • Suttree

            But how am I going to profit from that!? Unless you film it and I sell it to half of the goopers in congress.

    • The Molten Soul

      Silly troll, Columbus fucked all the Natives, not just the dudes.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      But when it’s consensual it’s not really a violation for you, is it? That’s one of the things that makes America GREAT!

    • One woman violating another’s anus, on the other hand, is HAWT.

    • sillyclucker

      Columbus was gay? I swear, I learn something new everytime I’m here.

  • Just a preemptive strike against any trolls who might claim we’re being all PC with our actually being honest about what Columbus Day represents:

    “Tell me by what right of justice do you hold these Indians in such a cruel and horrible servitude? On what authority
    have you waged such detestable wars against these people who dealt
    quietly and peacefully on their own lands? Wars in which you have
    destroyed such an infinite number of them by homicides and slaughters
    never heard of before. Why do you keep them so oppressed and exhausted,
    without giving them enough to eat or curing them of the sicknesses they
    incur from the excessive labor you give them, and they die, or rather
    you kill them, in order to extract and acquire gold every day?”

    -Spanish friar Antonio de Montesias, speaking just about a week after Columbus’ death

    • tinywriting

      Duh, for gold?

      • eddi

        And they never found much of that until the Conquistadors got to the mainland

      • zerosumgame0005

        and for the raping and the killing and the torture of “savages”, such fun for morons like him.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Bartolomé de las Casas didnt think too much of him and his Spanish buddies either. He wrote that a crewmember said that Columbus didn’t even need a compass to sail back and forth across the Atlantic; all they had to do was follow the trail of bodies as they threw the slaves overboard when they died.

      https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bartolomé_de_las_Casas

  • toomanyrappers

    Thanks Wonkette. This kind of piece needs to be published every Columbus Day.

    Maybe we can get Sanders to abolish this holiday entirely. Then, people can stop hitching about MLK Day.*

    *(Go ahead and mention MLK’s womanizing here. We can compare him to Columbus and figure which one was a fucking asshole.)

  • Vienna Woods
  • Mehmeisterjr

    I assume everyone here knows Stan Freberg’s sketch by heart, so no need to link to it. Hint:

    Yo, ho, ho and a Dramamine,
    We are loyal subjects of the King and Queen.

    • eddi

      “The whole island is concrete except fo that one square right in the middle.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Take an Indian to lunch, this week.

        • Mirful

          “We going out on that joke?”
          “No. We do reprise of song. It helps…”
          “But not much!”

        • eddi

          I know a nice little curry place…

  • Rasilom

    Columbus can FTHO. He was a 3rd place looser. The Native Americans discovered this place first. My Viking ancestors rediscovered it the second time, and found the original settlers still here. Then alnog comes Columbus. Third place looser. But hey he had Jeebus on his side and Jeebus said kill them there savages and take their stuff in my name! What a dick.

    • Playonwords

      3rd place? try 6th, 7th or 8th

      Two rounds of emigration via the Bering route, possible Lapp/Finnish input westwards along the ice boundary, the Norse, the Western Celts (Welsh/Irish), the Basques/Bretons/Normands, the Chinese, and only then Cristofer Colon.

      • COMALite J

        But his was the one that changed the world, for better or worse. It was his voyages that led to European (especially Western European) culture dominating the world. There’s a reason that we can pretty much divide all of at least the Common Era history into “pre-Columbian” and “Columbian.”

        • Playonwords

          It lead to the Spanish assault on the Americas, but the naval technology was in place throughout Western Europe.

          • COMALite J

            Sorry for the year-long delay. You miss my point, though. It wasn’t that somebody discovered the Americas. It was that this particular very strong-willed man did it. Other discoveries predate him, but they didn’t lead to the vast consequences his discovery did.

            This happened because of the sheer persuasive force of Columbus’s personality, which enabled him to make the voyages in the first place, persuading the Queen of Spain even over the superior (and more accurate as it turns out) knowledge of her own scholars who disputed him in court. They were right, and Columbus was wrong, about the size of the Earth, and if it hadn’t been for the Americas being here, Columbus and his men would’ve had to’ve turned back empty-handed or starved and died of thirst at sea since the Orient was just too far away for caravels or even galleons to reach back then had the Americas not existed.

            When he returned, he asserted things as true that he had no way of knowing, given where he landed. Yet those things did turn out to be true, about the vast wealth of the Americas. But he himself never saw much more than a few trinkets. He came back empty-handed except for trinkets and sample slaves, and still managed to persuade the Spanish monarchs to send him back multiple times.

            It was apparently also his voyage that spread the plague that wiped out over 90% of the population before the likes of Cortéz and Pizarro ever got there. Before that, at least in North America, the cultures there were advanced enough and tough enough to repel the friggin’ Vikings!

          • I think we both missed each other’s points, mine was that “discovery” is an arbitrary term. In relation to Columbus or Cook it refers to the person whose actions lead to the exploitation of the lands discovered.

    • Don Davis

      Life on planet earth isn’t a cake walk. It’s not about who found it first. It’s about who’s strong enough to take it from whoever’s there. It’s always been about that. Where have you been?

    • Knapweed

      No they didn’t. The original Americans were black, closely related to the Australian Aborigines. The current “Native Americans” slaughtered every man, woman and child, rendering them totally extinct. The whole act is clearly documented in very graphic cave art.

      • COMALite J

        There were also people who appeared to be (at least in terms of basic skull structure) Polynesian long before the Clovis Culture and other Siberians came across the Bering Strait. Look up “Kennewick Man.” They, too, were wiped out, either directly or indirectly or perhaps coincidentally.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Crusader Colón brought Old World technology to the New World, enabling the rise of the high American cultures.

    Names in the Mayan language such as Chaan (or Khan), and Kin meaning Great Ruler of the Heavens, compare significantly to the Mongol term and meaning for Khan (Great or Universal Ruler). – The Final Call.

    • The FInal Call? Are you tired of Fomenkoist pseudohistory and now you’re quoting the Nation of Islam?!

      • Paperless Tiger

        Yik’in Chan K’awiil was one of Tikal’s most successful and expansionary rulers, consolidating the political gains won by his father, Jasaw Chan K’awiil I. – Wikipedia.

        American Khans.

        • Playonwords

          Bollocks …

          I could just as easily point to the term King as relating to Khan and Kin as relating to the Nordic “kindred”, but it would only be true in the most facile sense because all languages show a relationship to fountational languages.

          Oh and what makes you think that the Khans of central Asia had any relationship to the Americas apart from the Siberian migrations round the turn of the Ice Age? And in a way, that’s a trick question.

          • Tansy Geek

            Is the answer ancient aliens?

          • Playonwords

            I’m not saying it’s Aliens …

          • bobbert

            But….

          • Takoma DC

            They were “undocumented”!

  • TootsStansbury

    Ain’t Capitalism grand?

  • ubermurph

    I’m sure if they Aztecs had “rediscovered” Europe they would have been kind to the natives. I tend to think with all the carbon we humans like Ken Layne crap into the atmosphere future people will consider us to be actually dumber than Columbus.

  • ryan

    Ah, I often miss the musings of Ken Layne. He was always able to make me want to stick my head in an oven after reading his cynical posts. Good stuff.

  • gullywompr

    I’m much more in favor of celebrating the discoveries made by Christopher Cunnilingus. Now THAT’S worth taking a day off!

  • ThorsteinVeblen2012

    When Constantinople fell in 1452 the source of Slavic slaves (the word slave is derived from Slav) was cut off. Columbus was hired to find another route. Failing he brought back native Americans as a substitute.

    Slavery has always existed and Spain was a center of the slave trade before African slavery began.

    • goeasy0

      Based on what? African tribes practiced slavery on their own, since the beginning of the human race.

  • Wolfgang Amadeus

    Thank god he didn’t spawn a religion, like muhammed did

  • Don Davis

    This is satire, right? Please tell me people aren’t so stupid as to actually believe that judging an explorer who lived in very brutal times – according to their modern day,
    overcooked politically correct standards, could result in anything remotely
    accurate. It’s ridiculously easy to judge somebody who lived in a completely
    different era than your own, isn’t it? Feeling pretty snug about that, are you? I wonder how many of you smug Columbus-hating jerks are currently living in the New World, glutinous on the food, bling, and political correctness – the products of their New World which Columbus founded settlement in, completely unable to muster the brainpower to realize what’s wrong with their PC group think, void of even a fraction of the courage to do anything like Columbus. If this is you, congratulation on sitting on your fat A$$, calling somebody a dick when you wouldn’t have even qualified to be his. I guess you think that the very first cave guy that ventured out of his neighborhood to settle a larger piece of land was a no good imperialist, right? That we should all be living in those same caves rather than dare to encroach on somebody else’s land?

  • Judith Shipstad

    I can’t believe I bothered to click on this worthless rant.

  • ryan

    So were the Aztecs who ritually murdered people. So was FDR who unjustly imprisoned 100,000 Americans, pushed the development of the atomic bomb,and whose armed forces fire bombed cities killing far more people then Christopher Columbus ever did.

    Other Dicks: Che( personally murdered POWs) Castro, Pol Pot, Mao, Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Genghis Kahn,the Spartans, the Vikings, Attila the Hun, the Moors, the Mughal Empire, the Roman Empire, the Persian Empire, the Ottoman Empire, The Young Turks(Armenian Genocide), etc, etc.

    The truth is that our contemporary world has been constructed on a mountain of skulls.The Native Americans underwent a process that a great many other people did. They were destroyed(greatly aided by disease) by a more technological advanced and ruthlessly ambitious group. That is the story of the world. You dot find magnificent structures, high art, and rapid developments in medicine and science in peaceful societies. You find them in societies where ambition, greed, knowledge and ruthlessness are dominant elements of it’s character.

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