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I'm Janet! I'm an asshole!
I’m Janet! I’m an asshole!

Wonkers, meet a nominee for the coveted Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Year prize. Her name is Rep. Janet Adkins, and she is a Republican congresslady from Florida. Is she a asshole? Well, if she kisses her own ass with the mouth that said this idea, then yes, she is:

In a private gathering during last month’s Republican Party of Florida quarterly meeting, state Rep. Janet Adkins told a group of North Florida GOP activists that the key to defeating Corrine Brown, a black Jacksonville Democrat, is boosting the number of black prisoners in her district.

“You draw [Brown’s seat] in such a fashion so perhaps, a majority, or maybe not a majority, but a number of them will live in the prisons, thereby not being able to vote,” said Adkins, a Nassau County Republican, referring to black residents.

Oh, we think we see what she is saying! You draw everything all cattywampus so all of a sudden, Rep. Brown’s district is full of not just The Blacks, but The Blacks who are currently in prison and thus not eligible to vote! Just kidding, we did not have to translate that for you, as Rep. Adkins didn’t really mince words.

But come on, you’re saying, surely this isn’t the strategy she wants out there in the press. And you are right! Because just before she said her racist fuckpuddle of an un-American, un-democratic idea, she said this:

“Let me give you inside ball game. Are there any reporters in here?” she said. “Any reporters? OK. So, inside ball game.”

What a dickface.

Of course, according to Politico Florida, Rep. Brown’s district was ALREADY gerrymandered all to fuck (so badly that it was ruled unconstitutional), and then the Florida Supreme Court ordered new lines drawn (by Republicans), which just made it worse:

On maps passed by both the House and Senate during an August redistricting special session, lawmakers redrew Brown’s seat to stretch west from Jacksonville to the Tallahassee region. It currently winds from Jacksonville to Orlando and is considered one of the most gerrymandered seats in the country.

And for SOME reason, Brown doesn’t like the new map, because then the share of eligible black voters in the district would drop even more, partially due to how there are 18 prisons in it. And oh, by the way, did we mention that Florida Democrats are pretty sure the entire reason the old lines were drawn the way they were is so Democrats are “packed” into Brown’s district, leaving the surrounding districts safe for the white Republicans?

Adkins has issued a non-apology apology, saying she’s real sorry if she made anybody mad. This is because she is a fuckbiscuit who isn’t actually sorry, and also she is a asshole. Rep. Brown, for her part, is suing in federal court, and we hope she wins, because fuck Florida Republicans, right in their smarmy earholes.

[Politico Florida via Think Progress]

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  • Lizzietish81

    Look it’s our own fault, we stopped segregation and now they have to get creative.

    • JustPixelz

      Creative? This reminds me of the time Andy Warhol looked at soup cans and asked “are there any reporters here?”

  • It’s traditional that black votes should only count as 3/5 of white votes. Why do you hate tradition?

    • memzilla

      And now, black people are 3/5 of the US prison population. Rethuglican definition of progress!

    • deanbooth

      I think the word is Heritage.

  • VandeGraf

    Adkins is deeply asshole, but we have to understand that she’s from Florida were education is considered a Godless inoculation.

    • coozledad

      In Florida, the mark of higher education is chewing before you swallow.

  • coozledad

    Let me give you an inside ball game. We pack the Republicans into shipping containers and send them up Vladimir Putin’s ass.

    He’d give us the Hermitage to take them back.

  • memzilla

    Ladies and gentlemen, your new chairwoman of the Rethuglican Voting Rights Committee.

    • coozledad

      She and Hans Von Spakovsky would make a nice table arrangement.

  • VandeGraf

    She’s probably after the Values Voters. One stop shopping at Valu-Voter Mart.

    • coozledad

      If she were really committed to the values voters, she’d crack over and flash them some brown eye. Not that it would bring any of them along, but it would demonstrate the proper reverence.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Why stop at redrawing the lines? Why not simply arrest more black people and put them into prisons? That way, you incentivize the people not to shoot them!

    These people make me sick. I wish they’d bad together, leave, and found Galtland somewhere else.

  • Jeamonn

    Wow, it’s as if Republicans are so unpopular they have to cheat to…oh.

  • Ryan Denniston

    It now dawns on me that this is the kind of platform that can get the GOP on board with Black Lives Matter.

  • Michael Smith

    I feel like gerrymandering is one of those things that is destined to show up on a list for students to learn – like “selling indulgences” before the Reformation, or the Stamp Act, or the lack of representation for the Third Estate.

    Kids will probably laugh and wonder how we thought we could get away with that.

  • “Let me give you inside ball game. Are there any reporters in here?” she said. “Any reporters? OK. So, inside ball game.” – Rep. Janet Adkins

    Today we are all reporters. And remember, if you hear something, say something.

    • beatbort

      Today, we are also all Corrine Brown. This is how the Republicans view anyone who is not in their party.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    OT – did not see this on the news this AM – Looks like Carly is using those outsourced stage hands from China???

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4kZw64OyCo

    • Lizzietish81

      This is what happens when you use non union

    • coozledad

      So she’s the CEO of a stage equipment company, too? What a resume!

    • freakishlystrong

      This happens when you lie and demagogue a health care organization that helps under privileged women. Jebus collapses your platform.

      • coozledad

        I thought God only gives you one warning before he smites you good. Wasn’t Hewlitt-Packard the writing on the wall?

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          HP was man’s problem, being a bidniss. But this has OT hand of God all over it, if you happen to believe the dude smites those who pretend to speak for him and do just the opposite of what he says.
          Sort of like…oh, idk, Carly for one

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Must’ve been the weight of all that gravitas….

    • JustPixelz

      Workers from the Trump Suit, Tie and Stage Construction Organisation outside Chengdu.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Her “guardian angels.” Har har, like them holding their hands over her head would have done any good at all if a piece of steel or 200 lb. swath of material had actually landed on them. What a bunch of rubes.

  • beatbort

    All of the aspects of a broken, corrupt, probably unfixable
    system are here: the nudge-nudge wink-wink about the “inside ball game”, the implication that reporters (or real journalists) are the enemy of her version of “democracy,” the whole idea that elections are not won at the ballot box but in back rooms filled with seas of white faces while the black faces belong to the ones clearing the plates and bringing the extra pitchers of super-sweet Southern iced tea (and since they’re black faces surely they can’t comprehend the “inside ball game” that is being discussed by their “betters.”) This nauseates me probably more than it should, maybe because I grew up in the south and I know this kind of woman. She used to sell real estate, Amway, Avon and Mary Kay products, but then realized the real money was in politics.

    • Draco

      If you want to lose faith in the goodness of humanity, working in real estate in Florida will do the trick!

  • deanbooth

    No Incarceration Without Representation!

  • Spotts1701

    Guess the room wasn’t quite quiet enough for this discussion, eh Rep. Adkins?

  • beatbort

    Ah, to be there when Bunny Sue Bubbles Adkins next finds herself in the Congressional elevator with Corinne Brown!

  • Spurning Beer

    Hey, come on y’all. It’s just sports, you know?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Water sports.

  • pragmatist3

    I am thinking that we crowd fund a great big homeless shelter right in the middle of her district. With a nice room perfect for having voting machines in it.

  • OneYieldRegular

    O what a schadenfreudenous day it will be when Ms. Adkins finds herself an inmate in one of those prisons.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Sadly, within certain broad limits, this shit isn’t even illegal.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    18 prisons in the district? Sounds like we ought to give up Florida as a state and just make it our national gulag.

    • Relativicus

      90 miles to Gitmo, too!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That would be a big plus to advertise in the travel brochures.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Jerb creators.

    • coozledad

      Hell prisons too. My brother in law just got transferred from one where the guards were murdering inmates. Rick Scott is one evil piece of shit.

  • Antimassacree

    She is a shitmuffin for breaking the First Rule of Gerrymandering Club or for being in the Gerrymandering Club (which is AOT,K)?

  • VandeGraf

    A weasel among the Valu-Voters? Say it ain’t so!

  • Ryan Denniston

    I live in NC district 1, which is also a contender for most gerrymandered, so I feel a lot of animosity for people like this lady.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Carolina%27s_1st_congressional_district

    • coozledad

      I’m in the sixth. We elected Minister of Music Mark Walker. He’ll turn out to be a childfucker in the Duggar mode, But it’s good enough for the lowlifes they drew this district for.

      Even a shithead who thinks we need to go to war with Mexico can’t embarrass them into staying in the goddamn trailer.

    • Jen_Baker_VA
    • Catstro

      I’m in NC district 1 as well, and while I feel like Butterfield does an excellent job representing my interests, it would be nice if say, all Democratic folk (and let’s be honest, when I talk about concentrating all the Dem voters into 1 and 12 I mean concentrating all the black voters into 2 of the most convoluted districts in the state) weren’t stuck in like, 2 districts.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        You can’t gerrymander effectively if you let those damn liberals vote in places where they actually live. Shesh.

        • Catstro

          The way they got (very liberal, very black) Durham (and the most liberal, most black) areas of Durham tacked onto the rest of that district is so crazy it almost makes me laugh. I miss David Price, who is still reppin’ his new district (they split our district for ratfuckery purposes) and dig Butterfield, but it still sucks.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Agreed.

  • whyieverdidit

    Looks like one of those mirror-image demonstrations about how perfectly symmetrical faces would actually look really creepy. Also, dead inside. Yay.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Where the fuck are the Feds on this shit already. States rights can kiss my ass when the state is stomping all over people like this. Wasn’t this stopped during the Chicago ward boss crap way back when?

    fume

    To keep it snarky….
    What is so wrong with wanting to keep seats all white anyway? Shesh, you people want us to live in the same country AND legislate with them? What do you think you did, won some war that told us we had to deal with these browns?

    • Lizzietish81

      One of my favorite quotes form the Civil war, after the battle of Missionary Ridge…

      When a chaplain asked General Thomas whether the dead should be sorted and buried by state, Thomas replied “Mix ’em up. I’m tired of states’ rights.”

      • coozledad

        Thomas was great, but he was too even handed. I’d have kept the confederate dead on a mule train until The Union forces got to Atlanta or Charleston, then raze their state capitol buildings and build towering concrete reinforced ossuaries on the foundations with the bones of every hick dupe I could find. Expensive? sure. But better than all those Bronze traitor statues everywhere.

        And sometimes you have to send a message when you’re dealing with Vampires:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Henry_Hammond

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Sherman could’ve used a man of your imagination.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          “Acquiring property through marriage”

          It is amazing how many of these fucks screamed about their way of life that they worked sooooo hard for, when their way of life was acquired by marriage. Lee, comes to mind, too.

          • coozledad

            Especially when all the slaveholders were overleveraged borrower trash who couldn’t be arsed to pay their debts. They used slaves as mortgage backed securities, and when the house fell down in the panic of 1837 they moved themselves and their slaves to the Republic of Texas to avoid having to pay.

            That’s one of the clearest indications the pieces of shit would be Republicans today.

        • marxalot

          I will say but this: thanks to the power of privilege (and the purse), most sons of the slaveowners exempted themselves from service. The Confederate dead were, by and large, poor, uneducated boys and men who were drafted or otherwise enlisted the same propaganda machine which enrolls the rubes to die in every time, for every cause. Burn the plantations, hang the traitors, but let the farmboys lie in peace.

          • HolidayinCambodia

            Marxalot, indeed!

      • aureolaborealis

        I like that, too. I also like that Lee’s “yard” was chosen for the national cemetery, so no one would ever be able to live in that house again.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Pfff, Florida….the only good thing that’s happened there recently is when that puppy shot the man who was killing his litter-mates.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Well, they did also finally arrest that meth head turtle surfer, so that was good too.
      And guns don’t kill people, puppies kill people

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It takes a good puppy with a gun…

      • VandeGraf

        My neighbor always calls his weapon “this puppy.”

    • Spurning Beer

      That was over here in Pensacola, and it was eleven years ago. And it’s been over ten years since there’s been an abortion clinic arson.

      http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5950304/ns/health-pet_health/t/puppy-shoots-florida-man-deputies-say/#.Vgk-n49Viko

      To accentuate the positive, most of the prisons around here are no-kill facilities. Officially, anyway.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Come for the beaches. Stay for the prisons.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Dinesh D’Souza is on his way!

  • cheetojeebus

    So…no live blog of the apocalypse this morning?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I was wondering if Obama and his witch doctor were able to successfully hand off power to the Forces of Darkness during their secret satanic blood moon ritual last night.

      • Rick Hill

        I hate it when the christians pray so hard that it fails….

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      idk, seems to me if the world ended there would be not much to write.
      The world is ended. The end.
      This at least lets me fume and rail about my all time biggest political pet peeve, but I am biased, being in a heavily gerrymandered state

      • marxalot

        If the world had ended, I wouldn’t be at work.

    • Lizzietish81

      I feel fine.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        Let me be the judge of that…

        • Lizzietish81

          Watch it buster

          • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

            This is why I still have slap marks on my face from 5th grade…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Why does this not surprise me?

    • VandeGraf

      I just had to hose down the roof because of all the blood from the moon rupture. It will probably help the roses.

    • JustPixelz

      Moon God ANGRY!

      But for 72 minutes my lunacy went away.

  • Rick Hill

    I will tell you, despite what folks on the right will say in comment sections, not here, of course, I will look at both sides fairly and if I’m wrong I will say so. Thing is, I never see a republican who comes out with anything that does anything but advance their own agenda(or their backers). Yes, they occasionally sign on to a bill that does some good, rare but it happens. Their own initiative though, this is par for the course. Every. Time.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      That is the true difference between the parties. Liberals will keep an open mind (for the most part, no, #notalldems of course). Conservatives on the other hand refuse to even listen to an opposing view. In their minds, if it is not what they want to hear than it does not exist and should not be spoken and if you dare speak it you are evil mooslim fascist socialist commie swine.
      No matter how much they tell us we lock step, it is projection. When they tell us we’re sheep, that too, is projection. They follow every order handed them, believe everything told to them, cheat to win, and some how the damn liberals are still the wussies in their minds.

      • Rick Hill

        Any vestige of working for the public good left when the loons took charge.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Right? Who knew the Handmaiden’s tale would be a blueprint for these people. I thought they were too busy reading about Atlas farting, but turns out, they can glean ideas from other sources too.

          • stevola

            Atlas Shrugged is, like, a million pages. Handmaids Tale is much shorter, and there’s a watchable movie version.

          • david green

            Not really – it just seems like a million pages when you try to read it.

        • Awesome Man

          “Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.”
          -Barry Goldwater

  • Rick Hill

    Consolodating power and delivering for their backers. Is there anything else this party does? Anything? Anything?

    • Vegan and Tiara

      Well, they are very good at getting middle class white people to vote against their own interests, with very good propaganda, so they’re not completely lacking in talent.

      • eddi

        All the Rebs need do is memorize a short list of words and use them in all their speeches. I’m not impressed. Trump doesn’t even bother to construct sentences.

        • Vegan and Tiara

          Recipe for GOP truthy milkshake: take equal parts freedom, lamestream media, tax cuts, Mexicans, BENGHAZI!!, and general outrage, put in a blender and mix for five minutes. Then try to swallow it.

          • eddi

            GAK! I’d rather eat ground glass and ghost peppers.

  • JustPixelz

    Too bad that whole “better ideas” concept didn’t work out for the GOP.

    • Rick Hill

      Their idea of better is not getting caught. Srsly

    • VandeGraf

      They had a better idea once, but summarily forgot it and wet themselves anyway.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The Big Tent just lost a few more square feet.

    • eddi

      They have plenty of better ideas. The fact any sane, humane person thinks they are terrible ideas just makes the Rebs happier.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Well, since we do not have to be PC anymore, thanks to the Republicans, this woman looks as if she could suck the chrome off a doorknob in 3 seconds flat and not break her plastic smile.

    There. That felt surprisingly good, but now I feel dirty and need a shower.

    • ahughes798

      Here in Illinoise, a resident such as myself would say “That bitch looks like she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.” Differnt objects, same super-power.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Not everyone has trailer hitches, but even our poorest poorz have doorknobs. Sometimes they even work!

        • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

          Perhaps sucking a golf ball through 50′ of garden hose is the better super power?

          • HolidayinCambodia

            Could she shoot it out of her vagina across the room? Or were those ping pong balls?

          • ahughes798

            Now THAT would be a superpower!

          • calliecallie

            I saw that movie!

      • Steely_Fan

        Two things: 1 – my ex’s family was from Illinois and she always pronounced it “Illinoise” and I just assumed it was one more example of her poor verbal skills. I never considered until this moment that mebbe that’s how the natives spoke. Doh!

        2-I could be wrong, but I believe the origin of the phrase in question lies here: http://stillisstillmoving.com/willienelson/famous-willie-nelson-movie-lines-electric-horseman/

        • ahughes798

          Nah, we pronounce it Illi-noy, and that’s the official pronunciation, too. No offence meant, but your ex had poor verbal skills. What amazes me now, is that if I go somewhere outside the state, or meet people from other countries who haven’t been here long, when I say I’m from Chicago, the first thing they still think of is Al Capone and old school mafia.

    • eddi

      A live Barbie doll. Fourth place in beauty pageants all her life so she tried politics.

      • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

        They say Washington D.C. is Hollywood for ugly people.

        • BattyKitch

          I forgive you for making me choke on my Chianti. I should know better than to drink and wonk at the same time.

    • coozledad

      She’s the daughter of a former dean of Duke law. Having grown up among some of the children of Duke faculty, I’m willing to bet she filled at least one curbside container with fetal tissue before she got out of undergrad.

    • Querolous

      could suck the chrome off adoorknobthe front bumper of a ’58 Cadillac in 3 seconds flat

  • Oblios_Cap

    So that’s why the authorities keep locking up the blacks! It’s so they can’t vote. Who knew?

    • eddi

      You laugh but I still see the tears in your eyes. They match mine.

    • MrBlobfish

      Holy crap. Never thought of it that way.

      • Luthe Tucker

        Especially in states where a felony = disenfranchisement for life.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Yeah, that and to keep the grift of for-profit prisons going. Minorities are the low-hanging fruit that’s easy to pick.

  • SighSperling

    What we should really do is put them all in one place, you know, to keep an eye on them. Sorta like a camp.

    • janecita

      Why bother, you’d have to feed them, you’d have to clothe them, you still have to see their smug ugly faces. I think that we should just volunteer them all for that one way trip to Mars.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Gerrimandering and restricting the rights of others to vote remain, in my mind, as treason…

    • eddi

      I have a feeling outright treason will be their last resort. Hope for the spirit of Smedley Butler to be hanging around.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Last time they went treasonous, we not only welcomed them back with open arms (after stomping their asses) we also helped them rebuild.
        This time, let us handle it more smartly.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Worked with the Germans. Worked with the Japanese. But these fuckers are different.

    • BattyKitch

      Add it to a very long list of their BS tactics. They constantly shit on the Constitution and justify it with jeebus or any other ‘moral’ excuse they can come up with. And if that doesn’t work, cheat! Winning is everything.

  • AncienReggie

    Hey, wait a minute. I like a fuckbiscuit.

    • MrBlobfish

      Good with a little peanut butter on them. Mmm mmmmm.

      • david green

        Fuckbiscuits or horses?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Wasn’t Fuckbiscuit a race horse?

      • Toomush_Infer

        I wish she were mine…

        • Luthe Tucker

          That’s a terrible thing to do to a horse.

    • Enfant Terrible

      I asked for fuckbiscuits at the drive-thru and they told me to fuck off. What gives?

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Last night I “discovered” these at the gas station. If this isn’t a fuckbiscuit, nothing is.

    • Bee-Doo

      I’m not really sure what a fuckbiscuit is, but I know I’d eat one.

  • MrBlobfish

    Obama/Holder/Sharpton
    Both sides do it
    Fundamentally transforming America
    You’re the real racist
    Did I miss anything?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Look at both sides of the controversy.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      BENGHAZIIIIIII!!!!!!11!1!!!!1!

  • janecita

    Cheating and gerrymandering, are the only ways these assholes can get elected. I don’t understand how these people can brag about their anti constitutional activities, and get away with it.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Calm down. They’re doing it for freedom and Jesus.

    • eddi

      “Any reporters…?” They know they cannot get away with it and still persist in trying. They are insanely desperate to hold the power they usurped in the face of a changing world.

  • Mavenmaven

    tax cuts for the rich and minimizing the role of “those” people. That’s pretty much the GOP agenda at all levels.

  • marxalot

    Take redistricting, incumbent protection, and gerrymandering, to the court. Then go hard in the paint, post up to these assholes, and don’t be afraid to throw a few elbows in the press.

    • Painter of Goats

      Touchdown!

  • TheBidenator

    Better use up my fuck quotient before I have to leave for work so here’s a perfect time to use it:

    Fuck the Florida GOP, bunch of racist dick weasel pieces of shit and can we as a society come together and figure out a way to get rid of gerrymandering? It’s in large part the house sucks…

  • Jeff

    What this woman suggests is reprehensible. BUT, with all due respect, states are required by federal courts to create districts with voting majorities of ethnic minority voters wherever possible. So even if the currently Gerrymandered district had the collateral effect of making surrounding districts more Republican, it was not likely part of some sinister plot. Sarcastic snarkiness makes for entertaining reading, but sometimes you have to rein it in for the sake of objectivity.

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon
      • HeywoodJablomey

        From that article:
        “Partisan gerrymandering has become a precise science, where mapmakers use computer data from census and election returns to design the political makeup of each congressional district. “It used to be that the idea was, once every two years voters elected their representatives, and now, instead, it’s every ten years the representatives choose their constituents,” Pamela Karlan, a professor at Stanford Law School, told me.”
        Sounds about right.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Yeah no. What they are doing goes beyond, way beyond, the statute that says you cannot break up neighborhoods of minorities.
      What they are doing, in fact, is breaking up neighborhoods of minorities and dumping them into other minority neighborhoods so that your good white people can retain power.
      That is the perspective

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Nice try. The sinister part comes in where this bitch asks if there are any reporters around. The sinister part is creating a district with incarcerated ethnic minorities that cannot vote. The sinister part is these fuckers doing whatever they can to get around the spirit of the law, and why they can’t come up with a fair redistricting map that will get the SSC’s approval. It’s one one several districts that must be drawn fairly by the next national election or the state will do it for them.

      The court, in a stinging ruling, said legislators violated voter-approved standards in eight districts and drew a map designed to benefit Republicans. The court gave legislators just 100 days to come up with a new map in time for the 2016 election. The House has responded by moving along a map drawn up by legislative staff along with their lawyers that would overhaul the political landscape of the state.

      • Dee Andee

        And the pathetic part comes in when one realizes that republicans know they can’t win unless they cheat. Which makes them pathetic assholes who cannot properly govern, and lying liars who cheat, also too.

    • LegionOfDo

      Well that was the dumbest post I’ll read all day…

      • jmk

        I have learned that no good comes of trying to put a limit on the derpiness of the derpy…the universe takes it as a challenge. The day is young… give it time.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        The day is young. Wander over to Gawker if you are looking for the derp in full drag.

    • BattyKitch

      Rein that comment back into your butt. Where do you think you are anyway?

    • “Sarcastic snarkiness makes for entertaining reading, but sometimes you have to rein it in for the sake of objectivity.”

      The Hell they do! Wonkette isn’t trying out for “lead buttkisser” on a CNN pundit show. They don’t need to engage in concern trolling (what the journalmalism class refers to as “objectivity” nowadays.)

    • jeff.

      oh jeff.

      we never rein it in. in fact, the ENTIRE POINT of this blog is – and always has been – to be as unobjective and foul as possible. buttsexx and politics will only be reigned in so far after all…

    • Mintie

      You said “ethnic minority voters.” Gerrymandering a district so it contains a majority of people who cannot vote seems contrary to the federal requirement.

  • eddi

    Nice to see the Rebs haven’t changed their plan to appeal to minority voters by making sure there are no minority voters.

    • Awesome Man

      What are those poor Pubs supposed to do? Take a step back and consider that their policies keep them from appealing to anyone with decency and therefore a majority of Americans and maybe they should evolve?

      Who has time for thinkin’? Way easier just to cheat.

      • eddi

        At this point anyone left inside the party who might want to change course is trapped by the real Rebs. The blind followers have overtaken them and are charging over the cliff.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    She seems nice. Say, you know who else seemed nice?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      Sister Mary Alita, on the first day of second grade? (Only lasted a day)

    • Painter of Goats

      Miss Hannigan?

    • Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS?

    • Takoma DC

      Mittens & Annie?

    • david green

      Dorothea Fuentes?

    • herrointment

      Bob Barker?

  • Enfant Terrible

    The GOP’s charm offensive toward women, minorities and immigrants continues apace.

  • tomamitai

    The fact that the republicans are working so hard to make sure they can hold onto the reins of power despite the changing demographics of the country proves that the system is racist, and that they know it. If they knew it to be a fair system that responded to the needs of and protected the rights of all people, they wouldn’t be worried about becoming a minority.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      What, are there no gated communities, no country clubs, no rural areas packed with the other other white meat? Let them eat cake. But not the kind we like.

      • Enfant Terrible

        Urinal cake?

    • HeywoodJablomey

      I was thinking about this yesterday after reading a New Yorker article about Trump and his rabid xeonphobic fans. So what if whites become a minority? I’m a gringa minority in my city. It’s not a problem, who cares? Then I realized that whites who are “afraid” of becoming the minority must be worried that the browner people might treat them as foully as we treated them. Is that it? I’d really like to know what their fucking problem is.

      • Takoma DC

        Agree! It’s just like when they worry that the U.S. is loosing its #1 SuperPower position in the world.

        I look forward to that day.

        Being the world’s top bully who’s constantly bragging about being the #1 SuperPower is not my idea of a healthy prosperous nation.

        • david green

          USA! USA! USA!

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        That is precisely it. They are not so afraid of being a minority as they are of being treated the same way they treat minorities today.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Wait wait wait…so prisoners count for purposes of total district population, even though they’re not allowed to vote???

    Jesus Christ, this makes the old three-fifths compromise look positively anodyne.

    • Luthe Tucker

      Well, kids also count as part of the total population and they can’t vote, either.

      • Bitter Scribe

        News flash, Sparky: Kids will be allowed to vote one day, assuming they don’t get sucked into the “zero tolerance” school-to-prison pipeline. Felons are permanently disenfranchised.

        (And please don’t come back with any horseshit about how they can apply to the governor blah blah blah. You and I know that almost never happens.)

        • nmmagyar

          In rational state (which rules out Florida), felons can vote as soon as they are no longer in the system (off paper).

  • SullivanSt

    Specific statement of intent to disenfranchise minority voters? AG Lynch, time to launch a bail-in lawsuit methinks.

  • Duke

    Real voter fraud is done by those who control the government.

    For evidence, see above.

    • That’s why the only sensible remedy to this, of course, is…to defund ACORN.

      • Duke

        I was thinking that only people who own land should be able to vote. Or a poll tax.

        • david green

          Well, white people who own land, anyway.

          • Duke

            White men.

            ..with fabulous hats!

      • Steely_Fan

        And Planned Parenthood!!11!!!eleven!

    • Hardly Ideal

      To steal from John Oliver, there actually IS a shadow government controlling everything for nefarious ends. Except it’s not a trio of world leaders meeting at a secluded lodge in Zurich, but rather a band of pasty bureaucrats grumbling in a windowless conference room in Lansing, Michigan.

  • azeyote

    the Florida roundup revival –

  • Gorillionaire

    It is time that we call gerrymandering what it really is, which is sedition, and put these assholes in prison for it.

    • Hardly Ideal

      It’s pretty shitty when relegating the population to dystopian arcologies would make better district bounties. “The people of Tower FL12 have spoken loud and clear: NO DARKIES”

  • MrCanoehead

    Let’s look at the deeper message. She’s admitting, “I could never win in a democracy. I do not represent the people.”

  • Paperless Tiger

    Now geography is kicking their ass. What next?

  • Takoma DC

    They were going to call it niggermammyering but decided that was too obvious.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “Are there any reporters in here?” she said. “Any reporters? OK. So, inside ball game.”

    Attention, Ms. Adkins. The mike is always on. Always.

    • Hardly Ideal

      For glob’s sake, I’m more cautious when Mrs. Ideal is using Skype to play World of Warcraft. If I hear appropriately furious mouse clicks, I’ll refrain from asking things like “what the hell did you do to make my butt hurt so much?*” It’s a safe bet that mic’s hot.

      *spoiler: surprise 7-mile Crystal Cove hike

    • Steely_Fan

      As is the camera. And oops, almost forgot, the gun is always loaded.

    • david green

      Shhh. Don’t’ tell her. If they were more cautious we would never hear all the stupid things they say. We would, of course, know they said something stupid, we just wouldn’t know the exacting wording.

  • Leema Raven

    Man, I am so glad I’ll be dead of oldage real soon.

    • aureolaborealis

      ‘Oldage’ — I like it.

  • Last Hussar

    In these times of computers there is no way someone can defend gerrymandering and not look like a cheating dick. It would be easy enough to write a programme that would come up with grouping of equal voters in each constituency.

    I know both sides do it, but surely SOMEONE will stand up and go “Look, this sucks donkey dick”?

    (No, no they won’t, in case they lose)

    • david green

      It is easier to get to the independent commission thing in states with an initative process. The citizens can use the process to bypass the dicks in the legislature.

  • Suse

    And they say racism is dead…

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Let’s be fair, this lady is a disgrace to respectable fuckbiscuits everywhere.

  • Why in the name of the ghost of Yogi Berra is gerrymandering even LEGAL? In civilised countries, redistricting is ALWAYS done by a non-partisan commission. :(

    • Josh Raeburn

      Its not legal. Its just hard to tell when its happening, until morons like the Florida legislature make it easy.

  • calliecallie

    She seems nice.

  • cattywampus and fuckbiscuit. delightful.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Don’t you just hate it when your fuckbuscuit gets all cattywampus? And what is really amazing is that neither one of those words gets spellchecked.

  • maggie

    she’s a d-bag…when is she up for re-election?

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