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Steve King Of Kings has a lot of problems with you Papal
Steve King Of Kings has a lot of problems with you Papal

Iowa congressmelon Steve King is a Catholic, and as a concerned member of the most strictly hierarchical religious institution on the planet, he’d like to take the opportunity to set Pope Francis straight about a few points of Catholic doctrine. Now, you might think that takes a lot of the chootzpah, for a mere Catholic layman to presume to lecture the man who — according to canon law — is the direct inheritor of the apostolic succession going back to Saint Peter. But sometimes rightwing American Catholics must speak harsh truths, even to the Bishop Of Rome, especially if the Pope doesn’t see why the GOP platform is more important than silly concerns about “economic justice” and “the planet.”

In an interview with Politico, King explains where the Pontiff has got Christ’s Word all wrong, and what he would say to Congress if he were Pope. Which, we might note, he is not.

I’m hopeful that Pope Francis will speak to these two issues: One is the church’s unfailing and steadfast opposition to abortion, the position that life begins at the moment of conception and it ends at natural death, and the dignity of every human person … I’m looking forward to that. Second component that is so strong among the Catholic Church is the position of marriage, and it being between a man and a woman.

Hmm. We have a feeling that no matter how much he’s looking forward to hearing that, he just might not, given Francis’s explicit calls to de-emphasize culture-war issues. King also said the Pope should be careful not to slag capitalism, or maybe Francis might not gain U.S. citizenship, and could even lead others astray!

If he truly is taking a position that is critical of free enterprise, that’s on our immigration test: What is the economic system of the United States? And for people about to ready to take the test, I’d remind them the answer is free enterprise capitalism.

We weren’t aware that Francis had scheduled any study sessions with people prepping for the naturalization test, but that’s a helpful tip, just in case. King also seemed personally affronted by the Pope’s statement that “The earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.” Not really true, said King:

I would disagree that there’s a definitive science that has concluded that mankind has turned the earth’s thermostat up and that we can turn the earth’s thermostat down at will, we just haven’t yet found the will. That’s the argument on climate change. If they were right, we would be using the terminology “global warming,” rather than climate change.

Oh, that’s pretty cute, what he did there, claiming that there’s no such thing as global warming because Frank Luntz recommended in 2003 that the George W. Bush administration use “climate change” because people felt less compelled to do anything about that. Besides, “the weather” is none of the Pope’s business anyway, because Steve King doesn’t think the science is any good, as proven by a focus group 12 years ago:

I think that it would be better for the Vatican to focus more on theology, and less on this thing that they’ve now had to have a name change from global warming to climate change.

King also worried that Democrats — a bunch of hypocrites, the lot of them, since God is a Republican — have tried to act as if the Pope agrees with them somehow:

I’ve noticed that some Democrats, who seldom mention their faith or maybe never mention their faith will seize on to a phrase that Pope Francis may have said, and they want to attach themselves to that agenda. Political opportunists is what they are.

Shame on them! What people need to realize is that there are certain eternal values that the Pope speaks to, or would, if the Pope would just pay more attention to Steve King:

So, one of the reasons I emphasize the timeless values is that if Pope Francis would come here and address two topics and only two topics, it should be life and it should be marriage, and if he emphasized those two points and went back to the Vatican, he would leave a lasting impact on the entire United States of America and we would talk about those two issues within the parameters of the theology of the Roman Catholic Church, and I agree with both of those positions completely.

Ah, but what if, instead, Francis were to talk about climate change and inequality, as has been his wont? (Francis does have a wont, though he usually covers it with his alb.)

It would be a different kind of lasting impact, certainly. And I don’t think that it could move our national policy nearly as far or coalesce our national policy, because these topics that Democrats are more likely to embrace that we anticipate he’ll bring up are less religion and theology and more politics.

Good to know that reversing the Supreme Court’s decisions on abortion and marriage equality are a matter of theology, not politics. Say, does that mean that Steve King will leave decisions about whether to have an abortion or get married to someone of the same gender up to the consciences of individual believers? That would be pretty cool.

Also too, as an afterthought, King added that while Pope Francis has called on nations to take in more Syrian refugees, if he really cared about fixing Syria, he’d listen to Steve King:

I’d say, instead of bringing 10,000 refugees here…we should train them up, package them up, put them in uniform, hand them a weapon and send them back to their country to take their country back. Otherwise, at some point, we’re going to be asking American soldiers to go to do the fighting that young Syrians today are running from.

Spoken like a true American Christian.

[RawStory / Politico]

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  • HZ81

    Ugh, the corn is missing one of its children.

    • OzoneTom

      I wouldn’t if I were the corn!

      • MsAnthropesMr

        He’s more like corn that’s passed though your system.

    • Zippy

      that was intentional…

  • sundaytrucker

    I’m sure Steve also has some things to say to Jesus about those tax collectors and prostitutes He was always cavorting around with.

  • Zippy

    Right wingers love the Pope the same way they love the Constitution- only when it’s convenient and doesn’t get in the way of their plans

  • MsAnthropesMr

    I’m sure I speak for Pope Francis, when I say
    “Hey buddy – fuck you!”

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Jesus would have immediately called for deportation of the hungry, sick, and desperate – I’m sure of it.

    • JoeChristmas

      Hallelujah, did you read it in the bible or did God speak to you brother?

    • riledupone

      Well, he never got around too it cuz he healed them up first. Or so I’ve heard.

  • FauxAntocles

    Satan is adding a new basement to hell specifically for Steve King.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I think it’s been established, and it’s called Iowa.

      • SnarkTank

        Ray Kinsella libels!!!eleven!!!

  • elviouslyqueer

    And somewhere in Iowa, there are a bunch of exhausted chickens.

  • elviouslyqueer

    So, one of the reasons I emphasize the timeless values is that if Pope
    Francis would come here and address two topics and only two topics, it
    should be life and it should be marriage, and if he emphasized those two
    points and went back to the Vatican, he would leave a lasting impact on
    the entire United States of America

    Shorter King: Nice Vatican you got there, Francis. Be a shame if something were to happen to it.

  • dslindc

    “Say, does that mean that Steve King will leave decisions about whether to have an abortion or get married to someone of the same gender up to the consciences of individual believers? That would be pretty cool.”

    Ahahahahahahaha! You are very funny, because those people are slutty and/or ew, gay!

  • JoeChristmas

    Don’t even get the pontiff going on about guns.

  • PsycWench

    How dare the Pope not be a Real Christian!

  • Greg Fuderer

    yayyyyy! now i know one of the answers on the citizenship test. thank you wokette

    • dslindc

      Gasp! Anchor comment!

  • Joshua Norton

    The Pope would obviously not make it as an AMERICAN Christian.

  • the dignity of every human person

    Is something the GOP economic, social, and environmental policies deny, repudiate, and cast derision upon Every. Single. God. Damned. Day.

    You cannot claim to be pro-life and be in favor of destroying the environment that facilitates life. You cannot claim to believe in human dignity and demand that workers slave in horrid, unsafe conditions for minimum wage pay.

    You cannot claim to believe in human dignity and tell the hurting, the suffering, the elderly, and the poor to go fuck themselves because we couldn’t possibly raise taxes on corporations, capital gains, and the income of the 1% because it might cost us a few points on the stock market.

    You cannot serve God and Mammon, you wanker. (Paraphrasing Jesus there…)

    Go. Fuck. Yourself.

    • Anarchy Pony

      This. All day, every day.

  • Callyson

    When asked to respond to Representative King’s remarks, His Holiness replied:

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Next time, send America the Popes We Like.

  • PsycWench

    When told of Steve King’s remarks, the Pope responded “Who?”

    • TheBidenator

      Hell Steve King says “who?” when asked about Steve King’s remarks but that’s because he’s a idiot.

    • tihond

      “Why is the guy who wrote “The Shining” mad at me.”

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “Oh, him! He’s on my Excommunication With Extreme Prejudice List. Have fun in Hell, Godless reprobate! Jesus won’t be taking your calls anymore.”

  • crunchyknee

    Idiots Out Wandering Around

  • Greg Fuderer

    shorter:
    1: fuck those poors
    2: fuck those environment
    3: shanghai, train and arm terrified families fleeing for their lives.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    “What is the economic system of the United States?”
    If I was asked that – in all honesty I’d have to say “corporatism”

    • Joseph Miceli

      Yeah. The Russians have already taken “Kleptocracy.”

      • mtn_philosoph

        Yeah, the government isn’t stealing the wealth of the country (despite what RWers say), it is doing the bidding of the wealthy, who are really in charge here.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Oh! Corporate Fascism!

    • mtn_philosoph

      I would answer with “plutocracy.”

  • memzilla

    Oh, King is a Catholic? Here, let me try some fractured Latin, then:

    CRAMMITUS UBI SOL NON ILLUMINATUM.

  • chicken thief

    Sure, Steve, let’s give Syrians more guns! Like, if we could find a moderate group of Syrians… al Quida, perhaps….

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I wonder how many guns it will take to make Syria a polite society.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

  • Spotts1701

    Corn King to Pope: “Lighten up, Francis.”
    Pope to Corn King: “I’m sorry, who are you again?”

  • Bitter Scribe

    …these topics…that we anticipate he’ll bring up are less religion and theology and more politics.

    Unlike the issues you want him to stick to, abortion and gay marriage. Those have never been political topics.

    As for arming refugees and sending them back, great idea. Those 4-year-olds need to get off the gravy train and fight for…whatever their country is.

  • YayConspiracy

    Political opportunists you say, Stevie? You’re the expert.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Always projection with these assholes. Always.

  • chicken thief

    If King ever met the Pope it would be so embarrassing because he’d be staring at the Pontiff’s calves the whole time.

    • Joseph Miceli

      If the Pope didn’t want him to look, then he shouldn’t have dressed that way!

  • Thaumaturgist

    “The earth, our home, is beginning to look like a massive pile of filth?”

    Did the pope say that in Latin or Spanish? And what was the actual Latin or Spanish word you translated as “filth?”

    • chicken thief

      steveking?

  • TheBidenator

    Okay, poll time!
    Who is the dumbest member of Congress? Is it
    A) Louie “Louie oh no, where’d my brain go?” Gohmert
    B) Steve “Cantaloupe calves and permanent Mescaline high” King
    C) Crazy old cat lady Virginia Fox
    D) Ted “I promise that I didn’t have sex with that horse” Yoho
    E) Jodi “Squeal like a pig boy!” aka “crunch, crunch bread bags” Ernst?
    I know there’s numerous others like Dave Brat that bear mention but these numbnuts are a bit above your garden variety numbskull.
    Oh and there is no, F) AOT, K this time….though you’re welcome to drop f-bombs.

    • YayConspiracy

      Oh! Games! I like games… This one is hard though. Can’t you help us a bit?

    • Joseph Miceli

      Is thare an “F” for “all of the above?” This is too hard!

    • chicken thief

      Is that Braun fucker still in the House? He was plenty dumb.

      But in all fairness, only mah main man Louie Gohmert has the measure of the max depth of stupid named after him – one gohmert. All others can only be a percentage of a gohmert.

      However, I don’t know if any of you have noticed this before but mah main man Louie Gohmert does have some really Preznitial looking ties.

      • grumblestiltskin

        How do you measure? I’ve heard light can neither penetrate nor escape a gohmert.

      • Msgr_Moment

        You know who else may have been a Braunfucker?

        • TheBidenator

          certain lonely married women?

      • TheBidenator

        I dunno, I think Steve King might be like the metric system challenging Louie’s old Kings system….one MiliKing versus a Gallohmert?

    • Shibusa

      You forgot James “Snowball” Inhofe.

      • Beaumarchais?

        His heavy drinking hasn’t saved any brain cells, neither.

    • dshwa

      Yes.

    • dshwa

      Also, this list is like potato chips; impossible to limit yourself to just one.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    So much for that whole Catholic papal “infallibility” thing when a Pope disagrees with you.

  • tihond

    Can we put Steve King in a uniform and send him to Syria?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Waste of a good uniform. If he don’t get shot or blowed up, he’ll surely crap his pants.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That’s only a 33% chance of it going to waste.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          ISWYDT

      • david green

        OK, then make the uniform pants stain-resistant wash-and-wear.

    • Joseph Miceli

      Can it be an Oompa Loompa uniform? That would be adorable!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Assless burka.

        • Joseph Miceli

          I like the cut of your jib.

  • Joseph Miceli

    I agree with King! The Pope should address marriage and hold all the divorced people accountable for betraying the words of Jesus! Newt, Rush and Trump are simply BAD Christians. Thank you Steve King, for pointing out how morally bankrupt your leaders are!

    • Thaumaturgist

      You forgot the heroic Kim Davis.

      • chicken thief

        Even also too St Ronnie.

      • Joseph Miceli

        (Smacks forehead!) Silly me! How could I forget the patron saint of bad hair?

  • yaymccheeks

    Congressman King is a glorious and faultless example of the Dunning–Kruger effect.

    • chimichanga

      Had to look it up… As pertains to Wonkette comments, I do not suffer from this effect. I’m just smart enough to know I ain’t just dat smart. King is delusional.

  • Angry_Cop

    “I would disagree that there’s a definitive science that has concluded that mankind has turned the earth’s thermostat up and that we can turn the earth’s thermostat down at will, we just haven’t yet found the will.”

    There is no way for humankind to “turn down the thermostat”, you fucking idiot useless yob.

    And you’re an awful Catholic as well. When Pope speaks, you sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen with respect. You can bitch all you like afterwards.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Obvs, Angry_Cop, you didn’t go to Catholic School, or you’d forget about the pope. When the nuns talk, that’s when you sit down, shut the fuck up and, if you know what’s good for you, listen.

      • Cindyinencinitas

        Where’s a good nun/thug when you need one?

      • david green

        And keep your hands hidden in your coat pocket

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    One gets the feeling Mr King is not a big believer in things like Science, Free Speech, data, etc.

  • JustPixelz

    “I’ve noticed that some Democrats, who seldom mention their faith or maybe never mention their faith will seize on to a phrase that Pope Francis may have said…”

    And I’ve noticed some all Republicans seize on to some phrase that Jesus may have said.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Something, something, faith on their sleeves. . .

    • Zyxomma

      Or not. Very few Congressional Republicans are followers of Jesus. Some are followers of Paul.

  • TheBidenator

    Hah! I love when the derpers go telling other people that they’re only allowed to talk about derp topics that no one cares about aside from the knights who say “Derp!” and if they stray from herping the derp they make the derpers cry tears of raw sewage. It’s almost like who can resist it? I mean seriously, it’s a bit like one of those set up gags from the old Merry Melodies or name any cartoon where they are just asking, no demanding to be trolled. I’d lure them in though, maybe start off about how all human life is sacred, get their pasty little faces all bright and smiley and then BOOM! Denounce war, free market capitalism (especially in medical care) gun ownership and socio-economic/racial inequality in schools and government policy. Then look and see who’s head hasn’t exploded with a big smile on my face….

  • janecita

    King, isn’t even good enough to lick the Pope’s boots. Btw, toddlers wouldn’t be too effective at fighting a war.

  • Anarchy Pony

    I’d be okay if an inquisition came for Steve King.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One he wouldn’t expect, for example.

      • Anarchy Pony

        One who’s chief weapon was surprise.

  • chicken thief

    Steve, you are one of 435. Write your fucking dream sheet down and maybe, if Frank has the time (ahahahahaha!) he’ll take a gander at it.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “the dignity of every human person”?

    In King’s book, I’m pretty sure that comes with an asterisk and page of footnotes.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      A phone book sized volume of footnotes.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      “Human” is key here: they’ll let us know who and what is and is not human.

      • malsperanza

        Humanity begins at conception and ends at birth.

        • bozilingus

          Unless you are not a Christian.

    • VandeGraf

      Metaphysical and non-human persons don’t have an inherent dignity? I’d be very worried about pissing off the Trinity that way!

  • Anarchy Pony

    Isn’t this piece of shit okay with dog fighting? Fuck him and everyone who voted for him.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Dogs have a right to work, too, librul!

  • Metadude

    Il Papa should cold excommunicate his ass.

  • MrBlobfish

    Wow. Giving the Pope advice. I’m flummoxed.

    • Logic of Color

      You almost have to admire his balls…er, you know what I mean

    • Cindyinencinitas

      I bet the next time he goes to mass, his parish priest is going to have a special communion wafer waiting for him, if he ever does show up again.

  • Shibusa

    The Pope can make it all better by blessing Steve King’s arsenal of firearms.

  • VandeGraf

    Steve King is among those conservative American Christers– Rick Sanctorum is another, higher profile– who are actively pursuing policy of Papal Fallibility. That is to say, that when the Pope says something they don’t like, they automatically declare it to be political, not religious, and their own opinions hold sway over his (increasingly) erroneous views. Eventually there might be schism.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Steve King is good but nobody Popesplains Catholicism to the Pope like ol’ frothy.

      • Joseph Miceli

        “Popesplains.”
        I bow to your genius!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I’m pretty sure it has been used here before by others. I bow to the genius of whomever invented it.

          • Joseph Miceli

            And modest! If you want to go I am gay I’m gay marry you And therefore usher in the end times causing Kim Davis to have a Big O (not Obama!)
            Sorry! Been day drinking by the pool.

    • calliecallie

      Schism? When talking about Santorum, I think there’s another word you’re looking for.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Gaping hole”?

  • cleanfront

    I thought I’d put some ‘young Syrian’ faces to that ‘package’.

    • Joseph Miceli

      Babies. That asshole dehumanizes babies, just like the rest of the hawks.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Look at the color of the skin on those future terrorists! My god, they’re overtanned!

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Thousand-watt smiles….breaks the blackened heart. Those who practice bigotry, racism, otherism in the name of gawds best beware lest there actually be gawds.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Please, New Pope. Please talk about America’s cowardice in facing its incurably violent culture. That there would be enough for King and Santorum to go Scanners.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “we would talk about those two issues within the parameters of the theology of the Roman Catholic Church…”

    Umm, Mr King? Yoiu keep using that word “debate”, but I don’t think it means what you think it means.

  • KP

    Dear Steve,

    Fuck. You.

    Sincerely,
    A former Catholic turned atheist.

    • jmk

      Make that TWO former Catholics turned atheist.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Make that three.

      • Beaumarchais?

        I’m in! Or out. Well, out, too, but out also.

      • WampusKat

        Four.

  • Badger33

    King is a dunce with a bad temper.

  • Leonard Lawrence

    Whoa, fuck this guy. Holy sheepshit, Iowa, what you been up to? Time to get out of the barn for some fresh air.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The methane has gone to his head.

  • dshwa

    I do like that new Pope has opinions on social justice, income inequality and climate change. (Yes, his position on the gays could be better, but babby steps). It would be nice if the wingers would reconsider their position after listening to the pope.

    PS wingers – climate change is what precipitated the problems in Syria. So yeah, it’s kinda a problem for us now.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The problem for the Wingvangelicals is that when it comes to social justice issues, Francis is all Jesus and no Geeezuuuz.

    • david green

      Damn libtard. Everyone knows it is Obama’s fault for the problems in Syria and Iraq, and Ukraine, and that hurricane, Katrina.

  • Gorillionaire

    Maybe Pope Francis, who took his name from the patron saint of animals, could speak to Layman Steve King about his horrifying record on animal welfare while he has been legislating on political things.

    • Zyxomma

      Indeed. Trying to have undercover footage from CAFOs filmmakers classified as terrorism is SO very American.

  • Msgr_Moment

    I’m positively giddy about how butthurt Commie Francis is going to make the Congressman.

  • Bemused

    Apparently Rep King wasn’t listening in his Catholic HS religion classes or his Catholic University Theology classes when they talked about feeding and clothing those in need or taking care of the earth…. wait? What? He never had any of those? Doctrine, not just about the sex stuff anyever.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    “I’m no scientist.”

    “But I am the Other Pope!”

  • jmk

    I only have one suggestion for this Pope, offered in the true spirit of friendship – to respond adequately to this kind of smug assholery from Amurkin TrueChristians ™, for the duration of his trip, Frankie should hire an anger translator, just like Bamz’s Luthor.

    I volunteer.

  • William_C_Diaz

    Unlike the Republicans in Congress, the Pope IS a scientist…

    Have a great day!

  • Everhope

    Yeah, what a surprised, Stevie. We certainly don’t want tthe Pope to pass on a few messages that might get people to think about the connection between corporatist capitalism and global warming, would we? Nah, ‘ol Stevie, he of the high intelligence, wants the Pope to talk about abortion and “homo” marriages. Yeah, rather we think about that than about the world melting out from under our feet. Stevie should read Naomi Klein’s book “This Changes Everything.” It’s none of his damn business what a woman decides about medical treatment for herself or who marries whom. I guess one who runs for office as a Republican must demonstrate an IQ that’s a couple of standard deviations shy of the norm.

    • Msgr_Moment

      The bricks shy of a…. brick.

  • IckyPickles

    The Pope should throw in a lecture on the death penalty just to make Steve King’s head explode.

    • WIDTAP

      Pope went one better and said Life in prison is a death penalty. Look for the Ark of the Covenant face melt from King any moment now.

  • CottonBlimp

    We have a feeling that no matter how much he’s looking forward to hearing that, he just might not, given Francis’s explicit calls to de-emphasize culture-war issues.

    Yeah, Francis only attacks gay people in front of ignorant foreigners. He holds back that kind of talk in front of vacuous American liberals, since he needs their money.

    • Takoma DC

      Wow! Thanks for posting that. I am surprised. I thought he had said “Who am I to judge?” When asked about homosexuality.

      • CottonBlimp

        The Vatican has an intentional misinformation campaign directed by a man named Greg Burke, a PR hack from, I shit you not, FOX News.

        Greg Burke told reporters when he was hired that he “know[s] what journalists are looking for and what they need,” and “I know how things will play out in the media.”

        The Vatican and Francis will release a nice-sounding sound byte, and while American bubble-heads are gushing stupidly about how great he is (sadly, including our Wonkette in this instance) the Vatican goes about their regular business of homophobia, misogyny, child rape, and other grand Catholic traditions.

        http://www.salon.com/2014/06/22/pope_franciss_liberal_reformer_image_is_all_smoke_and_mirrors_partner/

        • Takoma DC

          Thank you. I knew it was all too good to be true.

          I feel sick.

          All out of gin……

          again…………………………………….

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Peggy Noonan, (W)SJ might have an extra bottle, though you’ll have trouble pulling it from her trembling hands.

          • Takoma DC

            Her raptor-like claws.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?”

    • eddi

      Not this time Stevie boy.

  • VandeGraf

    So, according to King, Christianity has no practical application in the real world?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, the teachings of that hippy from Galilee have nothing to do with Christianity as defined by Steven King, so there’s that.

  • WIDTAP

    In the meantime Pope Frank takes the Fiat instead of the Limo. Seriously. Even rolls down the window to wave at the crowd at Andrews.

    • eddi

      The old guys in the College of Cardinals just go “Oy Veh” every time he does something like that.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      For earlier Popes, trying to get around in a Fiat would have been a true act of faith.

  • Takoma DC

    “…we should train them up, package them up, put them in uniform, hand them a weapon and send them back to their country to take their country back.”

    What a sick stupid hideous fuck face twat.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We’d need B. Barry Bamz’s time machine to do that, and he, being the selfish bastard that he is, won’t share it.

    • eddi

      “Especially the women and children.” He though to himself.

      • Takoma DC

        Oh yeah! Why the hell not!?

  • Gleem-McShinez

    A man who married his lawnmower claims to knows more about God’s words than The Pope.

    You might assume something that stupid would be what causes a deity to start smiting with abandon, but no, it’s the shellfish.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Eating shellfish in Iowa is a bad idea. They don’t fly them in, is all I’m saying.

  • diogenez

    ““The earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense pile of filth.” Not really true, said King….”

    Are you kidding me? He’s from Western Iowa! Have you ever seen Sioux City???

    • Iam Reading

      Still trying to get the stench of pig shit out of my nostrils after driving through there 2 years ago.

  • AnOuthouse

    Iowa is not in the Constitution. Just sayin’.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Capitalist MuscleJesus isn’t about to sit around and listen to your libral nonsense, Pope! TALK REPUBLICAN OR GO BACK TO ROME

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Can you imagine just how many metric kiltons of their shit would be flipped, if President Obama was to actually lecture The Pope about how to do his religion?

    IOKIYAR, duh!

  • JohnR

    Climate Change driven by Global Warming. We first called it Global Warming then Frank Luntz came up with Climate Change because it was less scary FFS.

  • AKGrrl

    Can Pope Frank get the Office of the Holy Inquisition off its ass and deal with these pesky heretics?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They haven’t caught up on their paperwork from the 15th century.
      (Fra de Torquemada was really bad at record-keeping.)

  • Iam Reading

    I am horrified by Steve kings existence. The fact that he won a popular vote ever makes me angry on a genocidal scale

    • bozilingus

      And his books, Iam Reading, scare the Hell out of me.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Give us the REAL details– while King of Kings was saying this, was his head spinning 360 degrees and vomiting pea soup?

    • Takoma DC

      GOP doesn’t require special effects. It’s genuine Gawd given green-black bile.

  • Iam Reading

    Want to roast fat pig Lutz on a spit…..with votes

    • Takoma DC

      No matter how tasty and juicy looking, I do not advise roasting a Hebrew hog. It’s just not Kosher.

  • eddi

    That’s gonna take more than five Hail Marys to get God’s forgiveness for dissing the Pope.

  • Chick_Tract_Fil_A

    Don’t know much about Catholicking, but I sure hope The Pope has the saintly authority to whip out a yardstick and go all Sister Mary Stigmata on his ass. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujxDA9VsQG4

  • Incoming Ham

    Is this guy aware that no one gives a fuck what he thinks?

    • Takoma DC

      I know really.

    • Zhu Bajie

      He’s probably hoping for an article in the Storm Lake Pilot-Tribune.

  • I see a pattern here:

    Free market does something bad – Government regulations’ fault
    Free market does something good – It’s all because of the invisible hand

    Pope says something I agree with – Respect his moral authority!
    Pope says something I disagree with – He should stay out of his politics!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      That is about right. Oh, and tell the Pope he may only discuss these pre-approved topics.
      So very American

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Said topics to be talked about “within the parameters of the theology of the Roman Catholic Church,” also too.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The dipshits don’t understand the invisible hand, because they’ve never read Smith.

      Oh, right…we’re on the same pattern!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        To be fair, actually reading Smith is one hell of a long and dreary slog. No other writer in history could go on, and on and on and on, about farms, farming, and farmers. He makes what Melville wrote about whales look like a grade-school essay.

    • nowhereman

      They apply the same standards to actors and entertainers who speak out.

      • Dee Andee

        Funny how they forget that actors and entertainers are also citizens with a right to have opinions.

        • nowhereman

          Exactly. Just like Joe-not Joe-the plumber who of course is not a plumber.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Wouldn’t he be surprised to find himself excommunicated for being a hate-filled asshole?

    • OldMayfly

      Is he important/notable enough to be excommunicated?

  • jviscont1

    the Pope responds to King with an emphatic ‘Bull’.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      ISWYDT!

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Let’s all think back on when President Obummer completely murdered Jesus, attacked Christianity with one of Satan’s curvy daggers, and beheaded all the innocents at the Easter prayer breakfast, when he deigned to say “I have to say that sometimes when I listen to less-than-loving expressions by Christians, I get concerned. But that’s a topic for another day.”

    One sentence and the Wingnuts went apeshit.

    But Steve King can Godsplain at length at Pope Francis that Your Popery Isn’t Very Good, And I Should Know, and not a single rage-shart will be made by any wingnut, anywhere.

    • edith prickly

      It says in the Constitution that wingnut Catholics don’t have to listen to the Pope when he’s talking a bunch of dirty hippie crap about global warming and income inequality. Authoritarian panty sniffers are always infallible, however.

  • malsperanza

    So I guess Strict Catholic Steve King rejects the doctrine of papal Infallibility.

    Recursive idiocy is recursive.

    • nmmagyar

      It should be fun to watch the Pope bitch slap his errant servant

    • OldMayfly

      Steve King is not to blame–he thinks it is doctrine of right-wing infallibility.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The pope is infallible in matters of faith and morals … and pro-wingnut policies, since those are faith- and right-wing-morality-based.

  • We pay too much attention to stupid people like Steve King.

    • Rick Hill

      Stupid people like King affect laws in this country.

      • Yes, fools like Steve King do affect the laws made in America, but I think it is strategically incorrect to focus on them.

        Steve King & his fellow TP imbeciles know nothing so you can learn nothing from them and they think they know everything so you can’t teach them anything; plus they are cowards so even if inclined to break with their turd-herd, they lack the courage to stand up against their cult to do so.

        On the other hand there are dozens of congressmen and congresswomen and their aides — who you may never have heard of — who sit in their offices without any press yet who want to accomplish something worthwhile and (within various limitations) are willing to listen to needs of their constituents. Don’t misunderstand, this is not a high efficacy proposition, but it is not a waste of time.

        Dealing with bigots and idiots is a waste of time and focusing on fools like Steve king only reenforces cynicism and hopelessness which is not helpful to anyone.

        I say this as someone who lobbied in Sacramento and DC — on public health issues (HIV and hepatitis), drug issues and veterans issues without being able to offer any money for the bribery that opens doors — as part of my job for 25 years.

    • proudgrampa

      on the contrary, we don’t pay enough attention to assholes like him

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I wish more attention had been paid before people voted for the nitwit.

    • WampusKat

      Actually, we haven’t paid attention enough. These people are now practically running our government, but for a minority of democrats and Obama’s veto pen:

      “Tea Party ideology is not new but taps into decades of Religious Right instruction on “Biblical Capitalism.”

      “The second annual PA Progressive Summit 2011 was held in Pittsburgh on January 22 and 23. I again gave a presentation on “Biblical Capitalism” or the belief that unregulated
      capitalism is biblically mandated. The Religious Right is well known for its regressive social activism, but less publicized is the role it has played in the war against progressive economic policy, labor unions, the regulatory structure and social safety net. The sacralizing of
      laissez-faire capitalism predates the Tea Party movement and has been a major theme of fundamentalist textbooks for more than three decades.”

      http://www.talk2action.org/story/2011/2/1/132159/0192/Front_Page/Biblical_Capitalism_The_Religious_Right_s_War_on_Progressive_Economic_Policy

      Would’a been nice if progressives had paid attention for the past six years… for we told you so.

    • WampusKat

      Remember that “progressive” #StandwithRand hootenanny?

      Here’s what those folks “stood” for: “Rand Paul and the Influence of Christian Reconstructionism”
      http://religiondispatches.org/rand-paul-and-the-influence-of-christian-reconstructionism/

      And that “progressive” Ron Paul love fest? Here’s what those folks claimed was “civil libertarian”:

      “Recent press coverage has described Rep. Ron Paul’s appeal to young voters as based on the combination of his conservative economics with liberal social views. This might suffice as a simplistic explanation of the libertarianism of some Americans, but it does not accurately
      represent Paul’s ideology. Paul’s brand of libertarianism is shared with the frequently overlapping John Birch Society, Constitution Party and Conservative Caucus (both founded by Howard Phillips), and the American branch of the Austrian School of Economics – the Ludwig von Mises Institute.

      Like Paul, these groups are located on the ultra-conservative end of the political spectrum. Their distinguishing feature is a brand of libertarianism in which the federal government is to be dramatically reduced in favor of “states’ rights” and, as described by the
      Constitution Party, local application of “jurisprudence based on biblical foundations.” This is theocratic libertarianism, the type of libertarian “freedom” promoted by Christian Reconstructionist Rousas J. Rushdoony.”
      http://www.talk2action.org/story/2012/1/4/234938/0298

      And why do “progressives” not know this? Because you haven’t been paying attention: http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/42436_The_Convergence_of_Glenn_Greenwald_and_Rand_Pauls_Southern_Avenger

  • Enfant Terrible

    Dear Rep. King,

    Or should I address you as “Ambulatory Brain Death on Stilts”? If you ever get the yen to learn something, look at the demographics of women who have abortions. Notice that most of them are poor. These women, underserved by the Finest Health Care System In The World, resort to abortion more often than their more well-to-do sisters because of lack of access to birth control and/or lack of access to prenatal care. Not to mention the lack of access to an economic system that kicks marginalized people in the face BY DESIGN.
    You may get a chance to meet the Pope in person. He will undoubtedly be gracious and affable. But make no mistake, he regards as anathema your enthusiastic championing of a system that excludes all but a few from full participation in its opportunities and rewards. And while he abhors abortion as much as any conservative religionist, he also understands that its pervasiveness is a symptom of that inequitable economic system previously described. You may think that he is being some sort of anti-free-enterprise commie agitator who has strayed outside his scope. Not so. He’s a weapons-grade Jesuit doing what Jesuits do – reminding retrognathic pinheads like you what Jesus stood for in regard to taking care of the poor. He’s actually being a mainstream Catholic!
    In closing, let me share with you the best advice a self-anaesthetized microcerebric nullwit like you could use – do your long-suffering constituents a BIG favor and fuck right off. Fuck off and evolve. Fuck off and stay fucked off.

    Your friend,
    With utmost sincerity hostility,
    ET

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Here’s acid in your eye!

    • proudgrampa

      “retrognathic pinheads” can I borrow that one?

      • Dee Andee

        I want to borrow “Ambulatory Brain Death on Stilts!”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sure you don’t mean microcephalic? A Google image search suggests that’s the correct word.

      • H0mer0

        Zippy libel :(

    • Land Shark

      He’s a weapons-grade Jesuit doing what Jesuits do – reminding retrognathic pinheads like you what Jesus stood for in regard to taking care of the poor.

      Try him out, Representative King. Try your “version” of the christian story out on Francis. And when you do, I would highly recommend your colleagues to stand back a fair distance as your head implodes.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    All right, this fuckknocker is trying to tell the Pope -The goddamnedmotherfuckingpope- to stick to only these two approved topics.
    And the liberals are the ones all anti-first amendment trying to force their agenda. Uh huh

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    I’ve noticed that some Democrats, who seldom mention their faith or maybe never mention their faith
    Obama says God every time he opens his fucking mouth. Bieden talks god a storm. Clinton can actually quote the bible. Screw you, you Tea-vangelical wanna be telling other people how to live their fucking faith, you Judas.

    • Rick Hill

      This, I believe is the true meaning of “This must what salvation is like, after a while….”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Judas was a hero. He made it possible for Jesus to be executed and then rise from the dead three days later, and set up the entire “He died for your sins” meme up. Likewise, the Jews had an important role in all this.

      Which is why I can never get the “Christ Killer” meme. Without the death on the cross, none of this would have mattered. Jesus would just have been another rabbi wandering around the countryside spreading the Word, utterly forgotten except for the legendary (quite literally) events surrounding his death.

      • H0mer0

        “Blessed be the time. That apple taken was, Therefore we moun singen….”

  • Cismontane

    Well… Maybe one day the pontiff will respond to Rep. King:

    “We have heard your words, now hear ours: excommunicatio vitandus!”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “”We have heard your words, now hear ours: What the fuck are you talking about?”
      (Or however you say it in Latin, what with New Pope being A Latin.)

      • H0mer0

        I think it’s “che cazzo dici?” in Italian–is that close enough?

        • BattyKitch

          “Testa di merda!”

          • H0mer0

            “figlio di putana!”

          • H0mer0

            I wuz just kidding when I said “figlio di putana.”

          • BattyKitch

            Sei troppo gentile. Un’ imbecile come lui merita molto peggio.

          • H0mer0

            oh, we were talking about HIM. I thought I just triggered a swearing contest in Italian then thought maybe I took it too far by smearing the commercial sex industry.
            When I studied in Padua, they didn’t tell me the dorms I lived in were in a well known red light district. One gentleman told me “Vieni con me and ti do tutto quello che vuoi–tengo dollari as I was walking home. I didn’t take him up on it as I thought I had standards back then

          • BattyKitch

            I haunted Firenze for a couple of years. I was very studious the first semester, but after that…….I’m glad didn’t get into too much trouble. I take that back- I met my husband, and I’m still here. Io adoro Padova. E’ bellissima.

          • H0mer0

            Ah, bellissima (giggling to myself about the SNL sketch about an Italian restaurant in which the waiting staff was fawning all over Kirstie Alley.) I seem to be drawn to the murkin Italian-Irish myself, possibly something about the “I”-axis (my being Indian.) My offspring have the talking hands genes from both sides (my Indian side throws in a little head tilt as well.)

    • WampusKat

      Apparently, excommunication isn’t that big a deal to the wingnuts:

      “Ron Paul to Speak at Holocaust Denier’s [Fatima Center Catholic Traditionalist Summit] ‘Gala Dinner Fundraiser’

      “That SPLC characterization was based in part, on the organization’s landmark 2006 report, by SPLC researcher Heidi Beirich, Radical Traditionalist Catholics Spew Anti-Semitic Hate, Commit Violence Against Jews, which was careful to note that such “Radical Traditionalist” Catholic
      groups deviate substantially from official Catholic Church teachings, positions, and doctrine, and can be considered a fringe tendency within the stream of orthodox and Traditionalist Catholic groups as well. Gruner, a defrockedCatholic priest who has repeatedly portrayed the Vatican as at least partly controlled by the alleged satanic conspiracy, recently went on record suggesting that the commonly-accepted Jewish death toll in the Holocaust had been substantially inflated.”
      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bruce-wilson/ron-paul-to-speak-at-holo_b_3881363.html

  • handyhippie65

    another fundie who want’s to tell the pope, how to pope. a couple hundred years ago, that would have gotten you killed to death to save yer immortal soul from heresy. now we just point and laugh. my how times have changed.

    • nowhereman

      Time to bring back the Iron Maiden and the Rack! We’ll show ’em what old time Popin’ was about!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Nobody will be expecting it!

      • riledupone

        Well, this pope does speak Spanish.

      • Dee Andee

        And the SOFT cushions! *shudder*

  • iamnotascientist

    I mean, goddammit…the bible has, like, 8 million pages (admittedly 7.5 million of those pages is all about who begat who…or whom…but still…) its literally all about straight marriage and zygote babies?? What was all that Charlie Brown Christmas shit about mangers and wise men…I’m feeling confused and maybe slightly deceived…I must hear more from this “King” person…

    • nowhereman

      They use all those begats to scientifically prove that the earth is only 6,000 years old and humans have only been here for 5,000 of those years…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Wait . . . how do they “document” that first 1,000 years, when nobody was doing any begatting?
        Besides, “one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (2 Peter 3:8), so there’s 7,000 years right there (unless God is still resting, which may explain a lot of recent history.) Bishop Ussher’s got some ‘splaining to do.

        • nowhereman

          Now there you go again! HERESY! Or is that hearsay? I get it confused…

          • david green

            Typical libtard – always confused.

  • deanbooth

    I think I’m starting to see a pattern in wingnut logic:

    * It is written in the Bible.
    * It is written in the Constitution.
    * It is written in the naturalization test.
    * It is written on someone’s hat.

    Words are magic!

  • HeywoodJablomey

    Now, you might think that takes a lot of the chootzpah, for a mere Catholic layman to presume to lecture the man…

    Cojones the size of cantaloupes.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Stupidity is a frequent, if imperfect, substitute for courage.
      Likewise, and more frequently, it substitutes for chootzpa.

    • nowhereman

      You’d think it’d be painful…

      • david green

        Walking very far would be painful. Think of the chaffing.

    • bozilingus

      Being a Republican, elephantitis should be expected.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Francis may have called for “de-emphasizing” culture-war issues, but I don’t think he’s quite got his head around the fact that USAmerkin wingnuts consider actual-factual science facts to be culture-war battlegrounds, and that cosmology, evolutionary biology, and climatology are now subject to conservatard doublethink. Turning the denial of scientific theories into political positions, I think, is a uniquely American development.

    • Objectifer

      To be fair, making the denial of scientific theories into political positions was pretty much pioneered by the church. See Galileo, et al.

    • richardgrabman

      SUre, the US has outsized power in the world, but it’s only 4% of the Catholic population of the planet. Small potatoes as far as Popes are concerned.

  • nowhereman

    This will be fun to watch. The Pope is a real scientist, and he seems to know his bible pretty darn good too, especially the parts about Jesus.

  • SK

    This is how we keep moving right. We detest a lunatic like Esteban “Steba” Rey getting upset over the “good guy” Francis.

    This is the same Francis who threw two bones: one was to de-emphasize culture-issues, and the other was to say “Climate change is bad”

    Meanwhile, he’s still opposed to a woman’s right to choose, opposes the rights of gays to marry, does not see women fit enough to lead the superstition he presides over, and we ignore that for now. Because “nice guy.”

    I think it is great that we pillory King; but Francis is not some moderate. Back in Sep 2013 when he decried the culture wars with his “who am I to judge…” sermon from the Mount, no body paid attention what he did the next week.

    Here: http://bit.ly/1nuyLIf

    Soon, Francis will be considered “liberal” and the Overton Window would have moved so that the “middle” is where Esteban is today.

    • proudgrampa

      This is why I’m a Pastafarian.

    • richardgrabman

      Probably shouldn’t be using US political labels (“liberal” meaning something very different in the US than the rest of the planet, where it just means “Capitalist”) for Popes. This one’s a global southerner, and not that radical except compared to those old Cold War leftovers, JPII and Pope Rotweiller.

    • WampusKat

      Wrong. This is how we keep turning right: cut our allies off at the knees and let the theocratic tea-drenched lunatics on the far right off the hook… at which point they take complete control of all three branches of government. The Pope is an ally. He’s not going to reinvent Catholicism, he’s instead pointing the noses of the religious in the proper direction.

      Personally, I don’t think I’ll be entertaining anymore purity trolling from people who can’t tell their left from their right:
      http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/44314_Glenn_Greenwald_Will_Speak_to_a_Koch-Funded_Event_Named_After_a_Pro-Lynching_Racist_Dixiecrat_Congressman

  • azeyote

    why would he want to bring in Syrians and arm them, aren’t they all undercover terrorists? especially the kids – just look at em all brown and Mooooslim

    • david green

      Saw one Syrian kid on the news that brought his puppy. You just know that has got to be a bomb carrying puppy.

  • Gristle McThornbody

    “I’m hopeful that Pope Francis will speak to these two issues: One is the church’s unfailing and steadfast opposition to abortion, the position that life begins at the moment of conception and it ends at natural death…”

    Well, the natural death part is new, but ties in nicely with the Republican plan to do away with Obamacare and privatize Medicare and Social Security. I hope all the true believers remember that the next time their appendix bursts or they get cancer or hemorrhoids or a carrot breaks off in their wherever. It’s your god’s will, kiddos. Suck it up and walk it off.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      I think it’s just awful that you’d inflict Republicans on those poor, innocent hemorrhoids…

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, the “natural death” part isn’t new at all — it’s the same ideology that kept Terry Schiavo on life support for so long.

      • david green

        Nothing unnatural about being hooked up to machines that keep your heart beating, your lungs filling and emptying, and feeding you. No siree.

  • Bill Slider

    How much money do we need to put in the collection plate when the Pope speaks to Congress, to have him excommunicate a few Members of Congress? That would get some attention.

    • OneDemin EOr

      Ex-communication is too good for them. All heretics to the rack!

  • Rasilom

    “I’d say, instead of bringing 10,000 refugees here…we should train them up, package them up, put them in uniform, hand them a weapon and send them back to their country to take their country back.”

    Interesting, so this, dare I say, Dickhead now want’s to turn all the refuges into a military force and send them back to Syria to Fight Fight Fight!! Interesting that as most of the refuges are women, children and the elderly. Now I am not certain, but I am pretty sure that one of the things the Catholic Church has a pretty strong stance against is child soldiers. Not to mention sending the elderly into combat (Think “Help I’ve fallen and I can’t reach my grenade launcher!!”). This is one of the most fucked up statements ever, I was going to say “have heard in a while”, but I read this blog and the Derp level in the atmosphere is approaching singularity levels of density on the wingnut right. That leaves us with the women, aren’t most of the hard right against having women in combat? Something about efficiency, capability, pussy hurting once a month…. WTF?!?! Now even if this was not a problem because for some insane reason our society just loved and respected sending those three groups of people into combat, do you right wing nut jobs not remember what happened in Afghanistan when we helped the Mujahideen?? Yeah they kicked the Soviets out. Then we ignored their humanitarian needs, then the Mujahideen turned right around and became the Taliban, worked out great huh? I would submit that maybe taking in the refuges, showing them compassion and embracing them might have a different outcome. Yes by all means arm, train and send in the ones that are willing and able to go fight for their country. Hell the USA would not be here today if we had not, horror of horrors, had help from the French along side our own citizens during the Revolution. But to send all of the refuges back with binkies, bullets and Depends just makes absolutely no sense. It is counter productive (go ahead try and fight a war when taking care of the elderly and children, Why Do You Think They Are Refuges?), it builds resentment against our country, and it is just really a dick suggestion. I swear if Jeebus came back today and saw what his followers were saying and doing, he would swear he was an atheist, renounce his daddy and then live out his life drinking 40 OZers on a street corner in sheer embarrassment.

    OK, Soapbox stacked to the left for the next Wonkers rant. My jacket is the one with the Jameson in the pocket…

    • mrpuma2u

      Well in their defense, republicans have always been big supporters of giving 11 year olds guns….

    • OneDemin EOr

      And the asshole wants our guys to stand by and go after they do.
      Fuck you, Steve King, up your Hershey Highway with a chainsaw of rusty votes, FUCK YOU!

  • RoseKarma

    It’s like a horror show every time one of these “religious” repuglicans opens their mouth. Fuck them all. And yes, I did spell repuglicans correctly, so fuck you too, spell check.

    • mrpuma2u

      I also use rethuglicans, and repugnantcans. Strange, but rethuglican does not get underlined for being an incorrect word.

      • Anarchy Pony

        I’m fond of “rethuglicans”.

      • Dee Andee

        Must be correct then! ;D

  • Bill Slider

    Dear Steve King, IWhen I speak to the people on Earth, it is to all people on the Earth. The words that I choose, are chosen for me by the Almighty Father. God, the Father, does not take kindly to being told he is wrong. In fact, he may command you to eat a jar of salted rat dicks. In short, stop fucking with the Lord Thy God, as he fails to appreciate a smart ass.

  • Comrade Wingtardd 5467p

    The papacy has more or less ignored Uhmerikan catholics up until now, which didn’t really matter so long as the papacy remained de-facto conservative or just let shit fly. Now they’re gonna find out what their flock across the sea has turned into. I smell a new schism. If anything, it’s kind of interesting. Well, maybe not.

    I smell a lot of things down here on the pavement, you know. Nothing to see here.

    • anglicans have been dealing with this shit for a while now. establishment more liberal than parts of the base.

      i tell you what wingnuts: establishment gets to keep the property.

    • H0mer0

      Mostly Maui Waui man, but it’s got some Labrador in it.

  • Blender_415

    He’s the pope, right? Can’t he just ex-communicate (or whatever the kids call it these days) these fucktards?

    • Dee Andee

      Well apparently they still do it–this, according to Wikipedia:

      Fr Greg Reynolds of Melbourne, Australia was excommunicated in 2013 for continuing to celebrate Mass when not permitted, advocating the ordination of women, and promoting same-sex marriage.

      He gets excommunicated for that. But I guess priests who diddle little kids don’t get excommunicated? I don’t get it.

      • richardgrabman

        Reynolds was a priest under the supervision of a Bishop, and defying orders to not say mass. No way to excommunicate a lay person for being a jerk (unfortunately). Not since the 19th century, anyway.

        • Dee Andee

          Yes, I read up the list a ways, and it seemed the worst offense was to say mass when you’ve been told not to.

        • essbird

          They excommunicate women for getting divorced and having abortions. Why not idiots for brainfarting?

        • EmmettGrogan

          No they still have excommunication for lay Catholics last I heard. I went to Catholic school and John Kerry was threatened with excommunication when he refused to back anti-abortion movement. This was done by Poop Benedict. He was a Hitler Youth who advocates for sanctity of life. WTF??

      • BackDoorMan

        … nor do I, but they do. By some logic. Obviously. And because reasons. (I give up).

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    “natural death”? So, does that mean that. let’s say, prisoners who have been executed are still living? Hey, you fucking idiot, natural or unnatural death is STILL death.

    • richardgrabman

      According to the RCC, execution is denying the “right to life” (well.. duh!).

    • ericbikeco

      Hoping…

    • essbird

      Reminds me of legitimate rape. Beware Republicans bearing adjectives.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck
    • Hardly Ideal

      It’s always funny and surprising how you can’t simply war your way to peace.

      • BackDoorMan

        … which 60’s prophet of truth said “fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity”? For some reason that phrase has always hung around in the attic of my memory. Just can’t seem to get rid of it…

  • tegrat

    Truth to Power, amirite Steverino? OK maybe you forgot the truth part, but certainly that’s not a requirement for your ilk.

  • Gascoigne

    “Package them up?” Does this dolt even care what words come out of him mouth anymore?

    • blaid droog

      Him mouth only ever make stupid noises.

    • BackDoorMan

      … well, if you’re gonna “package them up”, I’d suggest some nice embossed foil wrap, with a very large bow of silk moire embellished with Swarovski crystals… a gilt-edged heavy linen-content card, with a hand-written calligraphy message would also be a nice touch.

  • OneDemin EOr

    Concerning Steve King: Needz Moar Spanish Inquisition!

  • MilwaukeeKent

    There’s butt hurt across the board on the Right, from talk radio to Steve Melons and on, for Frankie deviating from the GOP platform. They are all so eager to tell the Pope how to Catholic and Jews how to Jew. They mean well. Well, they’re mean at least — and if they ever do meet their Jesus, dude’s gonna read them the riot act.

  • blaid droog

    Too bad that asshole has no presidential aspirations. The clown car now has several openings.

  • what’s the matter with iowa?

    • Dr. Acula

      It’s full of Iowans.

      • david green

        I thought they were all Christians in Iowa. How did they manage to elect a follower of the Whore of Rome? Or is it Babylon – I just can’t keep this stuff straight, but I do know that Catholics and Mormons are really Christians.

        • One True Church, but we pretend at those ecumenical shindigs.

  • Alex Grey

    Bwahaha, What a maroon.

  • freakishlystrong

    “Me, what a fucking asshole”. Jesus H. Christ.

  • Scott1960

    I’m sure the pontiff appreciates his concern. I can hear him now…”Who??” (In Spanish, of course)

  • Ryan Denniston

    “I’d say, instead of bringing 10,000 refugees here…we should train them up, package them up, put them in uniform, hand them a weapon and send them back to their country to take their country back.”

    We are not about to send American boys 9 or 10 thousand miles away from home to do what Asian boys ought to be doing for themselves?

    • NorthernSaber

      Hi Ryan- Great last paragraph, but I fear many in the Wonker-sphere just haven’t seen enough winters to get where you were going with the LBJ there!

      • Eykis

        I have seen those many winters – yep – same song – different country – I refuse to cower or buy any of this ‘we’re all gonna die’ crap, ever~not 45 years ago in SE Asia, not today in the Middle East~

      • david green

        Us oldz remember! That lyin’ SOB, LBJ.

  • nightmoth

    “One is the church’s unfailing and steadfast opposition to abortion, the position that life begins at the moment of conception—”
    No, Stevie, that position has altered from century to century. What The Church has debated for over 1000 years is actually “When does ensoulment occur?” Abortion was fine as long as ensoulment had not yet happened. Ensoulment at the moment of conception is a relatively new theory. Helpful hint–during the early Middle Ages it was decreed that a male fetus gains its soul at 3 months and a female fetus at 6 months. (some things never change)

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It can also occur while eating some black-eyed peas and collard greens and listening to Sam Cooke. Just sayin’.

      • Eykis

        FTW!

        I make excellent black-eyed peas and serve with cabbage or fried okra~must-have on New Year’s Day~

    • EmmettGrogan

      And the Catholic church also debated whether or not women even have souls. Women won by a very narrow margin. This was at the mtg in Nicea around 325 A.D. True story.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Steve King Reveals His 1 Tip To Reduce Belly Fat Without Dieting!

  • ericbikeco

    So the Pope is supposed to talk about moral issues and stay out of political issues, so asshole Republicans (arguably redundant, but whatever) can politicize the non-political moral but political ::head explodes::

  • m3bosha

    So the Pope should only talk about what Steve King wants him to talk about and not about what the Pope wants to talk about. Hmmm…. freedumbs for the win!

  • Hardly Ideal

    Fucking charlatan. Not sure there’s much else to say about Steve King.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Yeah, maybe if we’d put Aylan in a fucking uniform, he wouldn’t have ended up dead on beach.

    This fucker can just get fucked right where it hurts.

  • Zyxomma

    I spent all day in shul. During the “Ask the Rabbi” part of the day (he’s now our beloved esteemed Rabbi Emeritus, he’s going to Jerusalem to study), we discussed how the Torah is like the Constitution — purposely vague in places to allow for updates as society changes.

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  • mtn_philosoph

    … as a concerned member of the most strictly hierarchical religious institution on the planet …

    Oh, I can think of another one (very American, founded in the 20th century, notoriously popular in Hollywood), but mentioning the RCC and the CoS in the same sentence somehow just doesn’t seem right.

  • mtn_philosoph

    I’ve noticed that some Democrats, who seldom mention their faith or maybe never mention their faith will seize on to a phrase that Pope Francis may have said, and they want to attach themselves to that agenda. Political opportunists is what they are.

    No, it is because Democratic politicians know that they are members of a secular democratic republic that has enshrined in its Constitution a bright line between church and state, and not members of the medieval Byzantine theocracy that you so fervently wish it was, Steve.

    • Perhaps it’s because Democrats are as devoutly religious as anyone of any party, they just don’t shove it down other people’s throats and use it for acquiring votes and cash.

  • WampusKat

    Ghost of Mahatma Gandhi: “‘I like your Pope, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Pope.”

    Me, too:)

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