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America isn't for just everybody, silly
America isn’t for just everybody, silly

Let’s say you’re preparing a cable TV news segment on fears that radical Muslim terrorists might sneak into America among the 10,000 Syrian refugees President Obama has agreed to accept. (We’ll leave aside what a pathetically small number of people that is, for the richest nation on earth.) Who would you interview to offer some insight on that question? Maybe someone from the State Department who could explain the screening process? Maybe a security expert who might point out that homegrown terrorists pose a greater threat and that the 9/11 hijackers arrived on tourist visas? If you’re Fox News, of course, you don’t actually want information on the real risk, which is next to nil; you want to stroke your viewers’ fears. So you invite Jan Morgan, the Muslim-hating bigot from Hot Springs, Arkansas, who started a lucrative wingnut trend last year when she declared her gun range a “Muslim-free Zone” in the middle of the Great Oklahoma Decapitation Panic. Obviously, this is someone who knows a lot about refugees!

On Monday’s edition of Fox Business’s puckishly named “Intelligence Report with Trish Regan,” Ms. Morgan was invited to share her thoughts about whether it’s a good idea for the USA to help even a tiny number of the several hundred thousand Syrians who have fled that country’s civil war. She expertly explained, as a person who has first-hand experience being terrified of Muslims all the time, that President Obama has clearly handed the nation over to Terrorism, Inc.: “This is not a humanitarian hand that President Obama is extending, it is an open door to an enemy invasion.”

Morgan offered some scary fact-like claims: her certainty that “the FBI has documented that there are ISIS jihadists located now in every single state” (which isn’t exactly what the FBI said, but who cares about details?), and the irrefutable Fox News “fact” that “81 percent of mosques in America are advancing or promoting violence,” so it only makes sense that Islam as a whole should be “declassified as a religion and reclassified as a terrorist organization” because its holy book advocates violence. (Needless to say, the Bible’s occasional calls for genocide aren’t a problem.) This must have been a pretty exciting experience for Fox viewers, who got the rare treat of seeing another Fox News viewer using Fox News claims to provide some perspective to a Fox News host.

Not that it was a softball interview at all! Host Trish Regan had some tough questions for Morgan, like asking her about the heavy burden of keeping America safe through religious discrimination:

You have to worry about guns getting into the hands of the wrong people, so when you look at the idea of President Obama bringing 10,000 refugees in, many of whom could be extreme Muslims, that worries you, yes?

Not surprisingly, that does worry Morgan — not only for her own sake, but also for all the Americans who’ll have to have these dirty Syrians, most of them proven members of ISIS, living among them.

Regan also had to correct herself at least once when she called Morgan’s gun range a “business,” quickly changing that to “club,” because Morgan has taken to claiming that the public accommodations clause of the 1964 Civil Rights Act doesn’t apply to her business, since it’s really a private club now: Everyone pays a membership fee, and she doesn’t have to follow Big Government’s dumb laws no more. We’d love to see her defend that in court.

In any case, Morgan says, at least there’s one thing that can keep us safe from the 10,000 Syrian refugees who face a two-year screening process before being relocated to YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD and then activated as Killing Machines:

Thank God! Thank God, Trish, in America, unlike the other countries who are taking these refugees, I thank God that we have our Second Amendment, and our citizens have a right to bear arms to defend life. So at least we have that edge.

Fox Business then went to commercial and presented a story about funding priorities for NASA, based on an interview with a teenager who has seen The Last Starfighter 58 times.

[MediaMatters]

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  • Spotts1701

    That’s just…gah!

  • it only makes sense that Islam as a whole should be “declassified as a religion and reclassified as a terrorist organization”

    Considering that there are far more terror mass casualty incidents involving gun owners than there are involving Muslims in this country, it only makes sense that gun clubs be declassified as businesses or social clubs and reclassified as terror cells.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The NRA is the foremost terrorist organization in this country.

  • DahBoner

    In America, you’re free to worship whichever God the Owner of the Gun range worships.

    https://media4.giphy.com/media/jNqlnMC2JZYkg/200w_d.gif

  • Nounverb911

    There was a Muslin uprising in “The Last Starfighter”?

    Funny he doesn’t look Muslin.

    • bozilingus

      Bet he knows how to build a clock, though.

  • Nounverb911

    “You have to worry about guns getting into the hands of the wrong people”
    Too late, you already have them.

  • clubseal

    Shouldn’t thoughts be in quotes in the headline? Talking to this bigot is low, even for Fox “News.”

  • Toomush_Infer

    I’ve heard there are no mirrors in the homes of FAUX “News” hosts….the threat of suicide was too high…

  • Nounverb911

    Trish Regan and Jan Morgan? Somehow I don’t think they’d be on the same side in Northern Ireland.

    • kindness

      It’s Fox. They would put them in wet t-shirts for better ratings.

  • exinkwretch

    What’s with two little ladies jawin’ about guns and Mooslims and such that they purty lil’ heads don’t know nothin’ about? They should be trading possum recipes and be fixin’ to fetch me a sammich and a brew. (Belch)

  • Lizzietish81
    • Msgr_Moment

      Party like it’s 2112.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Ha ha haaaaa.

    • RahJahh

      Been a while since I have heard a reference from that show!
      Well Played.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the comments section of nearly every site covering this humanitarian nightmare is a septic tank of right wing xenophobic hate. The common talking points seem to be:

    -It’s not the West’s problem, why don’t they fight:
    YES!!! It is abso-FUCKING-lutely the “West’s problem”(pronounced: America and every other country involved in the Iraq invasion)!!! Because if myopic shit for brains like Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Dubya didn’t destabilize the entire fucking region then ISIS wouldn’t be terrorizing half of Iraq, Syria and Turkey. Secondly, just because you turn someone’s country into a smoldering pile of horse shit, doesn’t automatically mean they are responsible for cleaning up the mess. Someone who cuts hair for a living or teaches or is a nurse shouldn’t be expected to pick up a rifle, leave their families and join the fucking army because a group of assholes, elected by even BIGGER ASSHOLES decided to unleash unholy hell on your region of the world!!!

    -Why are they passing through “poorer nations” to get to wealthier ones:
    First of all anyone paying attention to world affairs knows that Greece is teetering on the edge of financial collapse. They can’t even pay the pensions and salaries of GOVERNMENT official let alone house and feed tens of thousands of refugees. So the obvious decision would be to seek refuge in other European nations. Secondly the next closest/easiest countries to reach from Greece(Macedonia, Serbia, Albania and Bulgaria) have nowhere near the resources to handle even a tenth of the refugees passing through their borders! Think about it this way; after Katrina over 400,000 people were displaced with the majority being spread across 23 states(including large states like: Texas, Florida, Georgia and New York). Meanwhile in 2015 alone there has been an estimated 88,000 refugees have passed through Macedonia which is roughly the size of New Jersey

    -Why don’t they go to other Arab countries instead
    This is essentially the “Why don’t they go and stay with other people that look like them” argument! Well besides the fact that getting to stable countries like Saudi Arabia, Jordan or the UAE would require the refugees to run TOWARDS ISIS controlled regions and not away, there is also the thought process that “Just because other people are ASSHOLES, it doesn’t mean you have to be one too”!!! Just because other countries in the region have no problem watching toddlers drown and people starve doesn’t give the West cover to ignore the shit storm that we created in the first god damn place

    • Kakkeltje

      I guess the ‘why don’t they fight’ people also imagine a situation with good guys and bad guys like in the movies. In Syria there are ISIS (bad guys) or Assad (also not good) and the civilians are caught in the middle. How are you supposed to fight that?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …it’s not even that simple; there are probably a dozen or more factions fighting for power in Syria alone! Which army do they even join, the United States government can’t even figure out which faction to back

        • Lascauxcaveman

          It’s even more complicated for the guys actually fighting. A lot of the leaders of various fighting factions are involved in a lot of shifting alliances, and the gang from two towns over that you were allied to last week just might be allied to the the guys were fighting against yesterday, depending on what sort of deals the “generals” made two days ago. These decisions are, of course, mostly based on perceived power of outside groups and access to arms and loot.

        • Jared James

          And of course, if the US explicitly backs one or a few factions, what does that do to the civilians who will inevitably be pressed by a) their government (legitimate or not); b) the superpowers, both of which are involved in some capacity; c) the regional powers Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and Iran, all of which have disparate interests in both proceedings and outcome; d) the great powers, most of which have gotten involved or whose policies eighty years ago were involved in significant ways.

          (Which is also oversimplifying.)

        • Kakkeltje

          I totally agree, I gave the extremely simplified version, it is a total mess.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Why don’t they go to other Arab countries instead
      Well, it might be because the other Arab countries have taken in millions of refugees from the deserting coward’s Great Mesopotamian Adventure.

  • Tallmutha

    Goddamn it, this shit is beginning to piss me off.

    • Gristle McThornbody

      Exactly how long have you been on your lithium/xanax/prozac cocktail, and who is your doctor so I can get some?

  • Toomush_Infer

    FUX has really fallen of late – there wasn’t one up-skirt shot in that entire debacle..

    • Nounverb911

      Roger Ailes is saving them for himself.

      • bozilingus

        He has his own personal “upskirt” camera feed.

  • Gristle McThornbody

    She has all the same qualifications and is being used to appeal to the same base as Mooselini.

    • Nounverb911

      Is she wearing a bra holster in that photo?

      • Gristle McThornbody

        I’m not sure, but it’s really nice to know that when the shit hits the fan there will be such well-groomed ladies defending the home turf. Why, she hasn’t even broken a French tip nail setting up all that equipment! Shaved legs – check! Perfectly applied makeup – check! Tasteful jewelry – check! She’s certainly apocalypse ready.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Is that a ring? I thought it was a tat.
          Here I was all thinking, wait, what about the xtionist ammosexuals? Do they lurve them this fiesty freedom fighter whilst denouncing her sluttish attire whilst fapping to this photo?

          • Captain Kraut

            AOT, K.

        • bozilingus

          Is she “packing” in her … wherever?

          • kindness

            That isn’t a ‘gun’ in her ‘pocket’ but she is happy it’s where it is. Ask her if she needz moar batteries.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      My cat is much prettier and I wouldn’t ask even his opinion on refugees. I don’t think we need the “choose randomly whether to rub round their legs or eat them” plan right now.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah this lady seems to be leaning pretty heavily on the makeup and soft-focus photography. Don’t get too close; it’ll spoil the illusion.

    • lesterthegiantape

      She goes to the Pam Geller Budget Plastic Surgery and Glammer Photo studio in Crib Death, Georgia.

  • memzilla

    “Terrorist Cult Killing 30,000 Americans Every Year”

    Faux “News” Headline, or NRA Recruitment Ad?

  • Seaside

    It’s not truly a crisis until it affects Christians… er, straight, white, conservative, American Christians.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Don’t forget male!

  • Mormos

    pathetically small number of people that is, for the NATION THAT DESTABILIZED THE REGION.
    fixed

    • FauxAntocles

      In a just world, we would be taking all of them.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        We could give them Idaho. Not doing much else with it at the moment

        • bozilingus

          Montana. My ex’s brother and his wife (RWNJs) live there and I would be greatly amused to watch their FB posts.

  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that Morgan’s ancestors used to be the nation’s number one supplier of smallpox infested blankets.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Pfft, no current teenager has seen the last starfighter.

    • cessnadriver

      Might be the only VHS tape his parents have.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Laugh all you want, you pussy liberal elites who are dumb, and don’t have your name on hotel buildings anywhere, but this lady will likely be the Secretary of Homeland Security in the for sure Trump Administration.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Pft, she’ll be Secretary of the Interior. OBVIOUSLY she’d be terrific on interior decorating!

    • bozilingus

      She will be the guard in the War Room.

    • Smibo

      Nah, Health and Human Services Secretary or bust!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I’d keep a Syrian or two at my home. No joke! If I were single, I would of course be looking for a nice unmarried Syrian lady in her thirties or forties… But as it is, me and the missus could take a nice couple with a kid. They could help with work around the house while they looked for jobs.

    Is there a place you can go and sign up?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      That is not a bad idea. I don’t really have a spare room, but we could bunk up. And I do not know, is there? Maybe Amnesty In’ is on it

    • lesterthegiantape

      Also it’s so much easier to win the affections of somebody in the middle of an existential crisis. See also Christ, Jesus H.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I wouldn’t hit on her or nuthin’. I’d let her come to me! That’s my style. Not a style that worked often, granted, but it’s mine.

        • lesterthegiantape

          I can tell by your nom de plume.

  • Thaumaturgist

    This is alarming news. A good 15% of the Arabs living in the U.S. Of America live in the Detroit metropolitan area. So if 81% of the mosques in the whole America are promoting subversion and violence, that means 100% of the mosques outside of the Detroit area are hotbeds of terror.

    • Spotts1701

      Aw come on – you know all that math just fuzzes up her ladybrain.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Huge assumption that she has a ladybrain to fuzz up.

    • Tim Drake

      Oh right! I forgot about that – they can have the whole fucking thing! Come on over guys!

  • jmk

    So let me get this straight. This asshole, who, no doubt, loses her fucking mind every time someone suggests that it might be a good idea to pause for a couple of days while a background check is done before issuing any nutbag a fucking lethal weapon is afraid that a TWO-YEAR screening process won’t be enough to weed out bad guys from among a throng of desperate people?

    Jesus H. Fucking Keeerist, that’s beyond stupid.

    • Thaumaturgist

      With all due respect, IF any of these refugees get here, they’re going to have a constitutional right to buy sub machine guns just like anyone else, and no fair any un-American background checks neither.

      • spends2much

        Except if a Syrian refugee kills you with a gun, it will be a Terrorist Act that proves that ALL SYRIANS are terrorists.
        If this bitch shoots you in the back, she is exercising her 2nd amendment rights, and you probably had it coming.
        Murrica…

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Where does that 81% horseshit come from? It’s a very specific albeit completely made-up figure.

    • Nounverb911

      Mitt Romney’s 47%?

    • JustPixelz

      78% of statistics are made up on-the-spot

      • lesterthegiantape

        77%, get it right

        • JustPixelz

          There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            There are two kinds of people: those who think there are two kind of people, and everyone else.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand binary and those who don’t.

          • SterWonk

            There are 1 kinds of people, those who index starting from zero and those who don’t.

          • lesterthegiantape

            The Wall Street Journal could make those numbers work.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.” — Homer Simpson

  • Lizzietish81

    But wait…aren’t there Christians among the refugees?

    • Belasaurius

      yea but they’re brown, whereas Jesus was white, so fuck ’em

      • Lizzietish81

        You know that’s exactly what the Crusaders said too.

        • JustPixelz

          Hi Bill! You were there too?

      • Nounverb911

        If only they were Indian Jindal-babies.

    • JustPixelz

      Probably Christians who follow the actual Bible instead of the American “Fuck the Poor” version.

    • jviscont1

      does Greek Orthodox even count?

      • nmmagyar

        What a silly question! Of course they don’t; only mega-church members and some Baptists are “Real Christians”

  • MrBlobfish

    Of course. A plan so needlessly complicated and random, it has to work.

  • Lizzietish81

    So my wingnutty cousin is ramping up the paranoia to 11, going on about how it’s an invasion and “no one is pointing a gun at them” which um, yes, but whatever.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Mention casual like that many of the refugees are the persecuted christians that were being beheaded by Isis and maybe we should let them in because jesus?

      • Lizzietish81

        I generally don’t engage with him when he’s like this. He was in the army and I think is deeply traumatized by the time he spent in the Middle East (among other things, he had a pretty shitty childhood)

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Probably wise. Though reminding the christianists that these are the persecuted christians who we were told Obama should help may get them to calm down before they do something dangerous.

        • lesterthegiantape

          Every asshole has a story, I find.

        • JustPixelz

          Wing nuts lionized the movie “American Sniper” (to the point of saying movie reviewers were unpatriotic for anything less than an eleven-star review) and Chris Kyle. But he came back from war seriously fucked up.

          Around the time of “Saving Private Ryan”, there were documentaries about actual soldiers who landed in Normandy and fought in WWII. Keep in mind this was 60+ years after the events. And some of those veterans broke into sobs at the memories. Sixty years later.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Most of them have to be seriously cajoled to tell you about what happened. It’s pretty traumatic, even for the most manly of manly men. Garry Trudeau has talked about some of his work with Iraq and Afghanistan vets, and the sooner you start the dialog, the better, because time only calcifies the scars.

          • Werewolf

            I know the guy whose memoir was the basis for the first part of “Saving Private Ryan”(the scenes on Omaha Beach). 71 years later he still has screaming nightmares.

          • Angry_Cop

            My grandfather was one of those on Omaha, second wave after the first wave of bullet-stoppers had mostly been slaughtered. Then it was his turn. Most of them got slaughtered as well. They had him on the local station and asked him about how realistic the movie was.

            For those of you who haven’t seen it, you should, and on a big screen if possible. I don’t much care for movies, don’t get affected by them, but I tell you this, the first ten minutes of that film damn near made me piss my pants, and I had to go out to the lobby after that scene and puke afterwards. It’s that intense and savage and horrific.

            My grandfathers response was this, more or less: “He did a good job of that, real good. Of course, the reality of it was so much worse.”

            I couldn’t grasp that, still can’t. He wasn’t a hugger, but I wanted very badly at that moment to give him one. Nobody should have to go through that, and yet they did, and then they came home and were expected to function without any help. And somehow most of them did.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Another 10 to 15 minute opening sequence that is similar is that of Enemy at the Gates.

          • Angry_Cop

            Yeah, the one was enough for me. I’m not a big movie guy anyway.

            I had much respect for my grandpa. He did WWII, he did Treasury (ATF agent), he died in his sleep last year at 91. He was not a lovable man. But worthy of great respect. I have all his sharpshooter medals, he was one hell of a shot.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Being in the Army can be a good thing for a messed up kid. It can also backfire in strange ways. I found that some soldiers needed the strict regimentation of basic training, and had problems adapting to the relatively relaxed atmosphere of the everyday working Army.

          Individuals are still individuals, and usually need individual attention. Fortunately, it averages out that only 10% of your soldiers require a lot of attention…most of your attention, as it turns out.

          It’s not easy being green.

          • Lizzietish81

            In his case, the army saved his life. He was well on his way to a short life of drug abuse (his sister did in fact die of an overdose) and I think in most ways he’s done well, he’s married, has kids and stability.

            It’s just certain subjects he’s gone full nut on.

  • Swampay

    Maybe we should just restrict everyone’s access to guns?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I’d be very interested to know, say, as a curiosity thing, how many of the guns Isis has are stamped with “Made in the USA”

      • bozilingus

        Even those not stamped “Made in the USA” will still be bringing profits to investors in America.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Why do hate America?

  • Belasaurius

    the question we really need to ask if how many of these refugees will build clocks and take them to school?

    • Nounverb911

      AOT,K?

  • MrBlobfish

    Geez, Syrians. Haven’t you heard our southern border is wide open and illeagles are pouring in by the thousands and walking right past Donald Trump to take away our veterans’ medical care?

    • Nounverb911

      Next on TrumpTV: Trump demands President Assad pay for fence across Gulf of Mexico to keep floating Syrians out.

      • lesterthegiantape

        Based on the pictures I’ve seen, they don’t float very well.

        • nmmagyar

          Hell is the second door on the left…

          • vivian

            pretty sure it’s the door on the right.

          • nmmagyar

            If its not on the left, the RCC has been lying for two millennia

          • Captain Kraut

            Is water wet? Just checking.

    • TheBidenator

      Trump said it yesterday….he was THERE. Just like Bill O’

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trickle down at work. As usual, it isn’t money, it’s the ruling class’s morbid obsession with the ME – oil and Islam. We could have just bought the oil we needed and saved ourselves $18 trillion in debt.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      We could have also have simply invested in alternative fuel, infrastructure and mass transit and saved a chunk of that debt.
      But then we could not go bomb people

      • Villago Delenda Est

        One of the first things the shitty grade Z movie star did when he took over the Oval Office was trash all of Jimmy Carter’s energy independence initiatives. We’ve lost 35 years in that department, and they might have been crucial to avoiding, or mitigating, the mess that climate change promises us, which the guys at the Pentagon take VERY seriously as the most obvious threat to National Security.

        It certainly turned out that way for Syria, where Assad demonstrated he and his cronies can not deal with the consequences of historic drought, and thus they’ve got the unrest they have now.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Well of course he had to trash them, they mighta brought us a way to live without, or with less, oil. He was too busy selling arms to Iran, hugging Sadam via Rove, and sucking Saudi Koch to let the oil company down, y’know.

  • Iam Reading

    Glamour shots with guns. These GOTP ladies are scary ass crazy.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Morgan seems to have the Ann Coulter disease…the regret that she wasn’t born about a century ago, in Saxony or Bavaria, so she could get her shot at Ilsa Koch’s gig at Buchenwald.

  • Relativicus

    I first heard that “2% of all Syrian refugees are ISIS fighters” last evening. I assume that percentage has got to be up to 10% by now. These folks can convince themselves of anything so long as the result means they won’t have to help anybody.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Internet win! That is what it is allllll about

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Because helping people is the most unchristian thing one can ever do.

    • TheBidenator

      win.

    • Why would ISIS fighters be seeking refuge? They’ve got their own little redneck-Caliphate right there.

    • Tim Drake

      No, those dickfucks are too busy destroying historical buildings and smashing thousand year old statues to bother walking 25 days over a bunch of mountains and in the dark with no water.

  • Callyson

    • onedrewthree

      Like shitty dads throughout history, he’s willing to humiliate his son to boost his own ego. “And when you’re getting fought, turn your cheek and let them hit you some more. To show that I’m so powerful that you don’t need to worry.” “But will you actually step in, Dad?” “Hm? Oh no, never.”

    • SterWonk

      Especially since Muslims, Jews, and Christians all claim to worship the same God.

      /FFS!

  • JohnBull

    All Lives (Really Don’t) Matter.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Allwhitechristian(ourkindonly)malelivesandmaybetheirfamilyslivesmatter
      Is that too long a hash tag thing?

      • TheBidenator

        Yes. how about #wingnutlivesmatter?
        95% of wingnuts are white and 89% of those are Christian and a vast majority are male so it says what you’re trying to say.

      • greyXstar

        But not the ghey white males. They’s icky.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Deep Father Cthulhu declares #NoLivesMatter.

      We are naught but driftwood upon a tide of ruin, after all.

  • Not So Much

    That filtered picture of her is about 2 steps away from just being a blank, white square. (Like her brain.)

  • JustPixelz

    A 9/11 of deaths from guns every month sheeple. We should invade somebody!

    Back in Merrie Olde England a few hundred years ago, Catholics were not allowed to own guns. #ThanksObama

    And gun nuts love to say that Hitler confiscated guns in his march to power. But that’s not true. Guns laws were loosened under the Nazis. Except for Jews who were forbidden to own firearms.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We should invade the NRA’s annual convention and take no prisoners. That would be a good start.

      • Mr. Garvey

        lol..that would be funny to watch..

  • lesterthegiantape

    If you add “my” onto the beginning of any right-wing belief, what appears to be cognitive dissonance becomes clear. “My individual rights”, “my abortion,” “my Medicare”, “my religious freedom”, etc. If you add “your” onto the end of any right-wing belief, suddenly they’re against it.

    Even guns: “my guns” is one thing, but Coloreds with guns? Not so much. Hence the line “if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns” (understanding that outlaws = thugs = schvugs and Mexicans). Hence this nice lady won’t allow the Moops on her gun range.

    Since I started processing winger’s pronouncements through this simple filter, everything has made more sense.

  • say wha

    This…

  • Beaufighter

    Hey hey HEY! “Last Starfighter” was frickin’ GENIUS!

    • leemoder

      Besides, I don’t see yr Wonkette standing up to the Ko’dan Armada.

  • Bahhhdman

    I do feel for her. A burkha would hinder the appreciation of all of that makeup she trowels onto her face.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Faux hasn’t collapsed under its own weight into a steaming heap of buffalo manure and blonde lady legs yet? Shame.

  • beatbort

    That photograph should be captioned: “No Muslin is gonna git past me into my trailer park!”

  • bozilingus

    I am sure there are terrorists in every state in America. Unfortunately, they are Fox “News” watchers and home-grown.

  • Jeamonn

    What does the Fox say? – (closed captions)

  • jviscont1

    How she has changed since the days when she who thought Omar Sharif, pbuh, was hot.

  • TheBidenator

    You’ve gotta love Fox News for always being prepared to answer the tough questions in the most fearful and ignorant way possible using the most fearful and ignorant people they can find. Also, add gun nut lady to the expansive right wing roster of “pretty until she opens her mouth and offers and opinion” causing the ugliness inside to spew forth.

    • Duke

      “Pretty enough to be tolerated while speaking.” A Fox mandate.

  • Biff52

    I recently had to leave a music group on faceborg due to several members vomiting something about the Syrian refugees were just like the Tsarnaev Bros x10,000. It’s always the same, they get their talking points as one each morning, so I had to look up where they got it from this time. The most credible link I found was that Ben Carson said it, though I’m pretty sure he’s incapable of original thought too, and must have had it whispered to him by Frank Luntz.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      I’ve seen that same comment, too – but lots of mental defectives had somehow turned the figure of 10,000 into 100,000. The cut & paste rumor mill in Wingnuttia moves swiftly and derply.

  • Mavenmaven

    why, it seems like only yesterday that the GOP thing was to send troops to Syria and fight for these very same people they are now hating on.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Well, it was a thing until Obama was ready to authorize military action. Then, he did the unexpected not-tyrant thing and asked for a Congressional vote, holding Congresscritters’ feet to the fire with their constituents. Between Americans who are sick and tired of ME wars, the Oppose Obama No Matter What crowd, and Kerry suggesting a diplomatic route… it wasn’t a thing any more. Hawks cried about the poor gassed children, but I doubt they ever gave a crap, really.

  • VandeGraf

    That slag is all for individual rights, if you are someone she approves of, the right color, the right religion, the right socio-economic status. That latter is apparent because she has ginormous makeup expenses!

  • Bill Slider

    From my quick readings, these countries and ,no doubt the refugees, are not exactly 100% Muslim. The refugees likely include Christians, and maybe an atheist or Jew or two. Some might even be gay. Oh, I get it, no white ones, so they are all terrorists. How silly of me. But, what if one of them is Jesus II, or whatever he will be known as? Are they coming to take our jobs, or just to drive down property values? Do they keep chickens and goats in their houses, or just pigs? Do they smell? Our government is not being honest with us. I had best buy more guns and bullets. It’s also never too early to put up the Christmas decorations.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Your problem begins with the fourth word of your non-comment…you read stuff.

  • OneYieldRegular

    There are already a fairly large number of Syrians in my neighborhood. One of them, who works at the convenience store around the corner, keeps saying he wants to move back to Syria because he’s afraid the U.S. is just too violent for his grandkids.

  • r m reddicks
  • ThisNameInUse

    And never mind that the Syrian Civil War, which is the cause of this refugee crisis, was precipitated by MANMADE GLOBAL WARMING, which FauxNoise works 24/7 to mislead its sadsack viewers about.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2015/03/02/study_climate_change_helped_spark_syrian_civil_war.html

    http://www.livescience.com/23448-fox-news-climate-coverage-wrong.html

  • A Grumpy Cat

    My experience around gun ranges is limited to the one we have near my home, but the only people I ever see going in there are white dudes. Scary-looking white dudes who I would not want to run into in a dark alley. Or a well-lit alley. Or, anywhere, really.

    I think this comment might have had a point, but now I’m not sure anymore.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      The average redneck that frequents gun ranges and hunts in not a threat to anyone but the deer he hunts. The nutcase on the pistol range that watches Dirty Harry and Death Wish is living in fear of being a vicim, thus the equalizer Sam Colt designed is his weapon of choice. I am an avid hunter and shooter. I found those type of gun owners are becoming more and more common. They all seem to be cut from the same cloth, afraid of everyone different from them, religious, redneck, uneducated, etc.

      • A Grumpy Cat

        Unfortunately, I have entirely too many of the latter, not enough of the former around here. I know exactly one responsible gun owner who doesn’t worry me (even though guns scare the living shit out of me) and too many people who think they need to stock up on anything that shoots because Obama is coming to put them in FEMA death camps so ISIS can move into their homes and steal their wives, etc.

        The local gun range takes great pride in putting up signs like, “If Obama won’t protect us from ISIS, we will!”

  • A Grumpy Cat

    Earlier this month, Comey said the FBI was investigating ISIS supporters in every state except Alaska.

    Okay, is this because they don’t think there’s anyone in Alaska or because they just don’t give a shit about Alaska?

    • Jeff Ackerman

      We are ALL clean and pure as the driven snow up here…

      • Mintie

        I know a few Alaskans, and while I’ll agree that they’re clean (I’ve always known them to bathe regularly), I have personal experience that indicates they are absolutely nowhere near as “pure” as you claim. And I love them for it.

    • BaddTicker

      ISIL feels sorry for them because Palin’s. No need to pile on.

  • GDleftyPart2

    Gun ranges are the safest places in ‘Merica, just ask Chris Kyle.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    To defend life. With my tool designed specifically for killing.

    Look, it only appears to be a paradox, because you aren’t a terrified freakbag who can’t even feel safe without the ability to murder everyone, tucked unsafely in your tit-holster.

  • azeyote

    No Muslim Zone? ha ha – they have already infiltrated that place for sure – now they are just waiting to jizz jahoody all over everyone when the foreplay is over – and we will be left on the wrong side of the Great Wall of Trump –

  • greyXstar

    Since we’re talking about people we’re scared of for probably no reason, I’ve got a fun story. Gather ’round, kids!

    I had to fly up north for a family event over the weekend. I had the pleasure of pulling up behind an old van with “ABORTION IS MURDER” across the entire bumper, and a “Stop Planned Parenthood” sticker above it. Who’s driving? Some wild-eyed old white dude, natch! And he was wearing his classiest “Stop Killing Human Babies” shirt for the occasion. So of course he was on my flight, and I had a mini heart attack every time he got out of his seat. Kinda felt bad about judging the guy once we landed. But screw it, the guy was plain scarier than any number of brownz.

  • Marie Watkins Crocker

    Just one more sign of the impending Zombie Apocalypse…

    • BaddTicker

      The Zombie Apocalypse will be very short lived because we would quickly learn to tie together the shoelaces of anyone who just died.

      These dumbasses on the other hand…..

    • Tim Drake

      They were talking about this at work and our VP said, other than Tim, we’re all going to be screwed.

      I was very touched.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Fucking Terrorists? They’ve already won.

    Jesus, just how good is it for their cause when they don’t even have to do one single terrorist attack, and their enemies are pissing their FOX-approved cocktail skirts and wanting to declare ALL Muslims as enemies (which is totally different from ‘declaring jihad’ because uh, something)?

    This is how you lose, Scaremericans. You let them get into your tiny, cramped, single-issue heads. They have rattled you to the point of complete senselessness, without expending any effort.

    ISIS doesn’t even have to take a single American life, and you’re ready to mow down any Muslims, especially “the good ones” who have settled here in America, accepted America as home, because it’s Supposed To Be Awesome. Those who, ironically, for that very reason, would be considered acceptable targets by ISIS itself.

    You’re fucking gross. Could you take a moment and rinse your fear-piss off? You’re stinking up this nation, and going to leave a nasty stain.

    • HeywoodJablomey

      Right on, Gleem. The terrorists that keep me up at night are the shameless lying fuckers at Fox “News” et al and the morans that bathe in the bile they spew.

  • Stein Olsen

    Jan Morgan’s sex toys. Like all right wing Christian nuts she likes to have Jesus enter her. I hope this was offensive enough, but she is probably used to it.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BG1ZPZ3CYAAMNrF.jpg

  • HeywoodJablomey

    Not every gun-humper is crazy about this “aging gun bunny”.
    It’s a mixed bag o’ nuts in the comments though.

    http://www.gunnuts.net/2014/09/29/jan-morgan-idiot-bigot-or-both/

  • Politics_Nerd

    America.

  • Markuserektus

    Are there any ‘wingnut free zones’?

  • Tim Drake

    Is that a lady or a real doll posed with a gun?

  • alnnc

    Considering the scientific acumen of the GOP members of the congressional science committees, I think NASA would prefer the teenager be in charge of funding. And programs.

  • Rutabaga64

    The fact that they went to this woman and presented her as an expert whose opinion is worth something is just…ugh. But this is Faux Noise, who would expect anything different?

    • eddi

      The fact they had to dig that deep into the screwball collection to find a spokesperson is interesting.

  • BattyKitch

    Isn’t that the $98 an hour girl?

    • Jay Vaughn

      looking at the picture I’d guess closer to a McDouble W/ Cheese an hour

  • Bigby

    This shit reminds me of high school in 1980. New Iranian kid moves in. Gets the shit beat out of him daily. “Uh, my family *fled* Iran, how do you figure we *love* the Ayatollah?!?!”. “Doesn’t matter “. Wingnut “logic”, same as it ever was.

  • Vanessa Loy

    To the extent that her gun range is private property, it doesn’t contradict individual rights at all to choose whoever she wants to exclude from her property.

  • MnVoiceofReason

    “Individual rights” includes the right to freedom of association. Banning someone (anyone) from your gun range, bakery, mosque or where ever doesn’t contradict any ‘individual rights’ as you suggest. The author may

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