SHARE
Yep.
Yep.

Know all those emails where Hillary Clinton was like “Dear Bill and Chelsea: I JUST DID BENGHAZI,” and “Sure, Meryl Streep, I am all the way down for brunch, but FIRST I HAVE TO DO BENGHAZI,” and “Dear Huma Abedin: When we make lesbian sex upon each other later, let’s do it BENGHAZI-STYLE”? No, you do not know all those emails, because Hillz deleted them, and somehow the Justice Department is fine with all this!

The Justice Department said in a court filing this week that Hillary Rodham Clinton had the authority to delete emails that she did not believe were government records from the personal account that she exclusively used while secretary of state.

The statement was made in connection with a lawsuit brought by the conservative group Judicial Watch. The group is seeking to force the government to search the server that housed Mrs. Clinton’s account for messages related to a video ad the State Department aired in Pakistan. Judicial Watch contends the ad was an apology for the Internet video that the administration initially blamed for inciting the 2012 attacks on the American diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya.

How dare they? How on earth can Hitlery Clinton, the greatest criminal mastermind to exist since her husband, possibly be trusted to know which emails say “Yo, Bill, we should watch this on Netflix,” and which ones say, “CLASSIFIED GOVERNMENT SECRETS on how I am in the Illuminati with Beyoncé”?

Anyway, so yeah, the DOJ says Hillary is a growned-up lady and probably was able to discern which emails were various vegetables she wanted to pick up at the bodega, and which ones were government-related and should be archived. They even say she could have done this if she was using a government email, instead of HillaryLovesTaylorSwift@aol.com.

And all of this is happening even though Hillz said she was sorry for whatever terrible crimes she didn’t commit, and even though the New York Times was completely certain she was being criminally investigated so hard and probably would end up in Gitmo before it was all over. (The Times neglected to fully take responsibility for that report, and instead just kind of changed the words of it over a few days, hoping no one would notice. This is because the Times is a bad newspaper, and it should feel bad.)

Here’s a weird thing, though! This DOJ brief, which came out last Wednesday, basically exonerates Hillary from any accusation of wrongdoing, and yet Crooks and Liars reports that none of the bad newspapers out there thought it was newsworthy. In fact, it took the REALLY bad Washington Times to notice it before the supposedly liberal papers even noticed. It’s like the powers that be in the “liberal media” might kinda sorta have it in for Hillary, and really don’t want to let people know how she didn’t, in point of fact, commit a bunch of savage crimes.

So weird. Anyway, we’ll look forward to the next SHOCKING development in this story, in a piece the NYT will probably headline “Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi, Email Email Email, Hitlery Clinton Lesbian Bad.”

[New York Times / Crooks & Liars]

 

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911

    Well, now that EMAILGhazi is over what’s Hillary’s next ‘gate’ or ‘ghazi’?

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Is TwerkinNaeNaeGate too long?

  • Nounverb911

    Do you know who else deleted all of their incriminating emails?

  • MsAnthropesMr

    This DOJ brief, which came out last Wednesday, basically exonerates Hillary from any accusation of wrongdoing

    She threatened to Vince Foster every last one of them over there, that’s why they exonerated her.

    • jmk

      You KNOW that will be the wingnut explanation.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    President Bush never used email, personal or otherwise, for the same reason mob bosses never make phone calls.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I thought it was cause he couldn’t figure out how to use the computer thingy.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Cheney just gave him an etch-a-sketch and told him it was a lap top, hence no e-mails.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Reboot by turning over and shaking.

        • Zippy

          so, Mitt Romney’s old computer…

        • Avattoir

          Fuhhhhhhkneeeee! Thing is, folks forget how qwik all this has happened. Ipads, AOT, weren’t dah bees’ knees in corporate offices at any time during PoxDubya, and in year 2000 and before, also to some extent after, it wasn’t actually unusual for CEO types – of which GeeDubs certainly took himself as being one – not to rely on PCs except as screens to look at porn, uhm, other stuff others put up on it.

          The GeeDub admin largely left behind a minimal e-footprint because they were of a certain generation, they were more than a bit paranoid and a LOT disdainful, they planned it that way (tho not all that well), and as soon as the alarms went up in Rove’s Politico WH offices about how quickly the little e-suckers had got up into the kamillions, then the magic auto-errrrraser that was the old timey message system they were using had already kicked in, deleting like there was no tomorrow, that materially reduced the number and magnitude of Rove et al’s dump-n-destroy trips.

          And Cheney, recall, had that big “man-sized” safe, remember? The one that caught fire and burned? So accident, much unfortunate, loss to work of academe some 25 years down the pike, lots of sad sorries from Addington and shrugs from the Dickmeister.

          • SadDemInTex

            Having recently visited the Bush “library” at SMU I can concur that there is NO material at all of a written or book nature (except Laura’s contribution). It is just a big propaganda machine to justify his war crimes. (The baseball exhibit was terrific….I think it goes to every presidiential library…go see it).

          • Villago Delenda Est

            The Federal Government, at least the DoD part of it, has had email since the 80’s.

            The deserting coward didn’t want to leave an electronic trail of his crimes.

          • Takoma DC

            But we have the receipts!

      • Ryan Denniston

        Nah, he just had some mail regarding the EPA he didn’t want to read.

        http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/25/washington/25epa.html?_r=0

      • eddi

        That too.

      • mtn_philosoph

        If I was Prez I wouldn’t use email either. No way would I allow myself be so easily hackable. Or subpoenable.

  • SnarkOff

    At last, we can focus on the issues.

  • AnOuthouse

    NYT: “Hillary hunted Gentle Ben Ghazi from a helicopter like Sarah Palin”

  • DahBoner

    Has Dick Cheney turned over those secret energy meeting plans yet? Waiting. Waiting. Waiting….
    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=121535

    https://media0.giphy.com/media/X60XF7XeAYmQM/200w_d.gif

  • Bureaucrap

    The media are trying to keep the story alive because otherwise all they’re left with is reporting on “Hell Toupee.”

    • Vecciojohn

      Are you suggesting the Times would trump up a bullshit story about her?

      • calliecallie

        That’s a YOOOGE accusation!

      • eggsacklywright

        I bid notrump. At least until his PIs get back from Hawaii with the dirt.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Heaven forefend! They might Bill up, or Chelsea up one, but never Trump!

  • Angry_Cop

    i knew there were issues but I am stunned at the reporting coming out from both the NYT and WaPo on Hillary. It’s like a slightly less spittle-flecked version of Breitbart.com. Seriously. They have it in for her big time. Don’t get it.

    • DahBoner

      Hint: She’s not a Republican.

    • Toomush_Infer

      It’s their version of the “Balanced” response to “Hairpiece Destroys America!”…

    • Bill Slider

      The Post hired a new editor who served in some capacity in the Reagan administration. I had not heard of him, which doesn’t mean much. I think it was during the Nixon administration that the GOP accused the media of wanting to be the fourth branch of government.
      My hunch is that both the NYTimes and WaPo are trying to remain relevant as FOX and others take their readers. They overlook the fact that they have a paywall that FOX and others don’t have. They want too have their cake and eat it too. The two of them have not figured out how to make a ton of money using the free Internet. Sound independent journalism is not on their radar, and soon they will have no radar and ask, what happened?

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        I heard you can make like $98.00/hr without even leaving your house. What’s wrong with them?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The NYT seems to care about the wingnut accusations that they’re liberally biased. Bashing Hillary every now and then maintains their “fair and balanced” cred. Or so they think; the wingnuts will sceam about bias regardless . . . heck, they yell at Fucks Gnus whenever the network isn’t sufficiently rabid about some right-wing talking point.

  • Vecciojohn

    The paper of record strikes again. First draft of the collection of lies, myths and factoids we call History indeed.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’ll bet the Clinton’s e-mail server is more secure that of the State Department’s.

    • Skwerl King

      It is and the porn in more interesting. I know this because…. *twack* *thud*

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Has anyone seen Skwerl? He was here a second ago and then just vanished!

        • Hemp Dogbane

          This is going to be a great Salon article.

        • Doug Langley

          Skwerl who? You’re imagining things.

  • Joshua Norton

    If all she did was push “Delete” then the emails are still there for anyone to read who knows how to retrieve them so I’m pretty sure DOJ reviewed them before releasing this info. It ain’t rocket surgery folks..

    • weejee

      It’s not??!!??

    • Querolous

      Maybe if the DOJ asked nice Beijing would send over their copies.

      • marxalot

        Or the NSA.
        Sys admin joke: server wipe? Maybe ask the NSA for their backups.

    • chicken thief

      They could also too get a shitload of Hillary emails by subpeonaing them from people in her address book.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    The people have a right to know all the bitchy things she said about John Boehner!

    • dslindc

      Mostly because we want more bitchy things about John Boehner to repeat.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Not true. That was Sidney Blumenthal.

      We know what he thinks on a lot of things except the stuff leaked by the committee that was altered: that stuff we knew was wrong cuz lies.

  • Lizzietish81

    I wonder what the wingnuts expect to see in these emails.

    “Dear Fellow Jihadists,

    On behalf of your brother, the President of the United States, I am sorry that we allowed a movie to be filmed insulting the great prophet Mohammad. In reconpence, I offer you our embassy in Benghazi. The security is none existent because we tricked the Republicans into cutting funding for embassy security.

    Allu Akbar!

    Hillary Babbaganoush Clinton.

    PS please save an ambassador’s head for me, I’m looking forward to the falafal dinner to follow.”

    • Nounverb911

      Needs more gefilte fish.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Don’t you mean a loofah dinner?

      And I think her middle name is actually Imam bayildi

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Hasn’t Bibi N. been telling us this for years?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Break the mind meld with Darryl Issa now, Lizzie!

    • Takoma DC

      Shiite, I love me some babbaganoush.

      • Lizzietish81

        You’ll get all you want sunni.

        • Doug Langley

          Baghdad Bob will get you for that.

  • weejee

    …Times is a bad newspaper, and it should feel bad.”

    The Times is just sad that the Wonket is not pooping on Our Lady of Ginger Devotion Maureen Dowd’s head 24/7.

  • VandeGraf

    Word from the pussies at Office Depot is that the neo-conservative right leaning crypto-fascist elected officials continually replace keyboards because their delete keys wear out so quickly.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Among the emails deleted were:
    “You, too, can grow your Benghazi 4 Issas with this one really easy trick.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Dissed for Being Too Old; See Carly’s Revenge Makeover,” also too.

  • Did anyone ever see Hillary Clinton and Osama Bin Laden together in the same room? It would be irresponsible not to speculate that they are the same person.

    • proudgrampa

      Show me the body!!!

  • Swampgas_Man

    Slick Willie and Wife wiggle out of another one, just by being innocent!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Devious bastards!

    • gratuitous

      Is there no low to which they won’t stoop? Imagine the sort of devious criminal mind that thinks up the plot to not commit a crime so that they won’t be guilty of it? It’s almost as bad as that horrid President Obama continuing to be black and thus dividing the country!

  • Msgr_Moment

    News fatigue. From now on today I will only be capable of mechanically, artlessly applied inversion which chooses not to guide the reader to any deeper truths. Carry on.

  • Randy Riddle

    Finally, that’s over with and we can get back to talking about Kim Davis.

    • SnarkOff

      Hell, I want Kim Davis to be over so we can go back to Rachel Dolezal.

  • edith prickly

    “How on earth can Hitlery Clinton, the greatest criminal mastermind to exist since her husband, possibly be trusted to know which emails say “Yo, Bill, we should watch this on Netflix,” and which ones say, “CLASSIFIED GOVERNMENT SECRETS on how I am in the Illuminati with Beyoncé”?”

    The offer of opposite marriage still stands, Evan (with gay benefits. Toronto loves the gheyz!). Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Canadian citizen just in case, you know, President Trump becomes a thing?

  • Peter Nuhn

    Why has everyone forgotten the Patriot Act? Doesn’t NSA have everyone’s email?

    • Takoma DC

      I know right. They have my emails about painful menstrual cramps and what colors to paint my foyer sent to my friend in Albany but they don’t have any clue how to access Madam Secretary’s emails, or retrieve copies. That makes a whole lotta’ sense.

      PS- Dear EFFA-BEE-EYE/Duh0Jay, Watch a few episodes of Discovery ID where data foresenics specialists retrieve email and text messages 5-6-7 years old!!! It’s like devil magic!!!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I rely on them for backup.

      • Doug Langley

        All right, let’s stop these rumors right now. The NSA does NOT record everyone’s mail or email or personal correspondence. We are NOT an Orwellian super-state that snoops on everyone’s personal life. Good grief.

        Oh, and you dropped the car keys behind the couch. You’re welcome.

  • JustPixelz

    The first Hillary “personal” email has been released by NYT and Trey Gowdy:

    ✔GOOGLE WORK WORLD $98/h JOBS✔

    my mate’s aunt makes $98 consistently on the PC………After earning an average of 19952 Dollars monthly,I’m finally getting 98 Dollars an hour,just working 4-5 hours daily online….It’s time to take some action and you can join it too.It is simple,dedicated and easy way to get rich.Three weeks from now you will wishyou have started today – I promise!!….HERE I STARTED-TAKE A LOOK AT…..bbt……..

    ➤➤➤➤

    • MsAnthropesMr

      This email just goes to prove how, on government time, Hilary was looking to make money so she could double dip on her salary as secretary of state.

      • Ryan Denniston

        If it isn’t hookers and blow, it’s the Benjamins.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      If Chinese hackers got their hands on this information, we would lose our economic advantage!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Now we’re getting somewhere. Is her mate’s aunt a lesbian? Are those 19952 Dollars patriotic American dollars or treasonous Canadian Dollars? WORKGHAZIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!11,111,111!1!

    • Takoma DC

      Anyone supporting anything supported by someone supported by the name ‘Trey Gowdy’ needs to go fuck itself with whatever lead devices Bristol uses.

  • Esteban Rey

    You can’t trust this investigation because it was done by the GOVERNMENT and Obama runs that.

    • Takoma DC

      Does he?
      Really?
      C’mon now!
      He’s a ni
      ce guy
      from Hawaiimarijuana-ChicagOblacksfolks-Islamabama-IndoMosleemnesia-KommieKenya-Kansaspooky-SocialistSeattle.

  • Ryan Denniston

    If I tell them that I did Benghazi, and go to jail for it, will they let it go?

    • edith prickly

      I did Benghazi too!

      • Toomush_Infer

        Are you secretly Bill O’ Reilly?…

        • edith prickly

          Certainly not! I know the difference between a loofah and a falafel, thank you very much.

    • Takoma DC

      Reverend Huckamartyrbee said he wants firsties.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    the greatest criminal mastermind to exist since her husband

    B. Barry Bamz LIBELZ!

  • Spotts1701

    How nice that the press watchdogs have all the energy of Byron Bassett.

  • exinkwretch

    I think we’re done with Clinton email scandals for a bit — at least until Bill shows up in the Ashley Madison data dump.

  • Bill Slider

    Where is Nixon’s Secretary, Rose Marie Woods, when you need her?

    • Takoma DC

      I think she got it with a croquet mallet. In the courtyard. Of her Georgetown mansion. I forget it if was her footman, valet, maid, CIA neighbor, or private secretary?

  • eddi

    One note orchestra. And the tune will continue long after her second term in the White House.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Hell, we’ll be hearing about it all again in 20 when Chelsea comes along

  • chicken thief

    Pfft. The DOJ – the ones that started Fast & Furious and the riots in Ferguson. We should believe them?!

  • chicken thief

    Who is a techie here that knows this stuff?

    If Hillz had her own server, with her own domain, the messages that she sent to all of her official contacts and staff still went through the State Department server, right? If that server is backed up, then the emails are there, right? All she did, at most is delete her ‘sent’ copies, but would have no control over their ‘received’ copies.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Pretty much, unless she’s emailing foreign leaders like when she told ISIS to do Bengazi and all her love letters to Putin.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The funny thing is, all those other parties have no emails to provide as examples of Hillary’s evil. Of course, they’re part of the conspiracy as well, you know, so that explains that.

      • Takoma DC

        I believe you mean Angela Merkel. Putin is NOT Hillsy’s style!

    • marxalot

      It kinda depends on what protocol she was using as to whether her emails are still hanging around, but yeah, anything sent to State employees still exists, always provided that they’re following retention policies correctly.

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      It depends. Because there was no archive system for the unclassified email systems before Feb 2015. So if State Department folks who received those emails saved them, then yes.

      Nobody gave a shit about email on the unclassified systems, though, until Fall 2014, and the archival system … is kind of sort of just barely gettin’ going.

    • SophieCT

      That’s what she’s been telling them all along!

  • John Paine

    The Not Bad papers missed it because horse races sell newspapers and they don’t want it to be over yet. The BAD papers want it because they can now point to the special treatment Obama’s DoJ bestowed on Hillz. Me, I don’t give a rat’s ass about any of em, but Hillz’ excuse that she’s too lazy to carry around another device — besides the battery powered you know what in her overnight bag — squeals volumes about her unfitness to be madame prez. We already had one lazy fucker in there this century and thank god he’s gone back to Texas.

    • Takoma DC

      He’s an artiste now.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Okay, I’m an oldz, but I can barely keep up with my one fucking phone…(charge up, mf!)…

    • DoILookAmused2u ?

      Oh please. Colin Powell’s sole email account was on AOL (and I didn’t know they existed after 2001).

      This whole BS snipe hunt–which apparently you buy into to some degree–is about knowing people are not smart enough to know policy has been changing because of new rules implemented by this Administration, and then playing games with the fact the public can’t order a time-line or understand movies with devices like flashbacks.

      • handyhippie65

        i still use aol for e mail. used to read the huffpost till they changed the place. huffpost vids crashed my browser, and i have no desire to post on facebook. they know enough about me now.

  • nightmoth

    I find the great email scandal-that-isn’t pretty hilarious. I mean, c’mon GOP–emails, FFS, that’s all you got? You’re reaallly scaring Hillary now.
    (deleted emails—NOBODY GIVES A RIP!—-bwaahahaha)

  • TheBidenator

    HILLARYANDHUMATRIBGHAZI!!!!!!!!

  • TheBidenator

    Oh FFS, Larry Klayman gets to go after the Clintons again….well now we know who else has found this ‘scandal’ super easy to masturbate to….

  • Takoma DC
  • Bitter Scribe

    I am getting so fucking sick of this absolute nothingburger of a completely fabricated “scandal” getting so much coverage because our silly-ass media has been so terrorized by shrieks about “liberal bias” that they have to “balance” their coverage. NOBODY FUCKING CARES, except the idiots who hate Hillary Clinton so much that they’re willing to vote for a reality-show goofball with a dead animal on his head.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Sssllllllooowwwlllyyy……..it’s only Monday…..

    • Land Shark

      I’m not dead! I’m a hair ferret and my name is Bob!

    • Takoma DC

      It’s a farce and waste of tax $.

      https://youtu.be/8INIH0JfNA8

  • Paperless Tiger

    Why do the conservatives keep bringing up that shitty video that they made to stir up shit in the ME before the election? Are they stupid?

    • Takoma DC

      They lack.imagination. Yes, they certainly are stupid.

  • Me not sure

    “Only once in a moviegoers lifetime comes a film like………….”

    • Takoma DC

      I can NOT wait until the 3D version. Michael Bay has been tapped to direct.

      • Me not sure

        So not a real director?

    • Doug Langley

      I wish it was only once.

      • Me not sure

        Benghazi Vs. Groundhog Day in 3-D!

  • DoILookAmused2u ?

    This is easy. None of the emails sent from .gov emails were ever secret.

    Heck, Russian hackers set up house on that unclassified system.

  • dshwa

    Wow, our headlines are even better than The Times.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Or vomit is better than The Times.

Previous articleJeb! Bush Promises Not To Sleep Through Next Debate
Next articleDonald Trump Attacked Carly Fiorina’s Face And She Is MAD (At Democrats, Obviously)