Florida Man George Zimmerman, the guy who killed Trayvon Martin that one time, is somehow not currently in prison, which just proves you cannot cage artistic genius. Instead, he is doing art again, which is good and healthy and nice, because it’s real hard to aim and shoot at teenagers when your hands are all messy with finger paint:
George Zimmerman is unloading a bunch of paintings that illustrate his take on the Confederate Flag controversy — and he’s even offering a bonus prize to one lucky art collector.
Zimmerman is teaming up with Florida Gun Supply to sell signed and numbered prints of his Confederate Flag painting to help pay legal costs for his friend.
The ad on Florida Gun Supply’s website says anyone who buys a print will be entered to win the original painting of Zimmerman’s stars and bars (which could be worth up to $100,000!).
OR MORE! We imagine among the sorts of people who would be connoisseurs of Zimmerman’s “art,” the dollar value goes up each time he either Stands His Ground or has a little “accident” with a gun or something. He’s only 31 years old (fucking millennial), so these masterpieces are ONLY going to appreciate.
Here is a video of Zimmerman explaining where he got the idea to do a special Confederate flag painting, because every decent grad school art program will tell you that a cohesive artist’s statement is a MUST if you want to be taken seriously as an artist:
I was painting the American flag, and that’s the caption, the Second protects the First, has a double entendre, I was painting the American flag when I heard of you getting sued by CAIR, and I decided I would do for you what the American people did for me. And truthfully if it wasn’t for all the great patriotic people we have in this nation who donated to my legal defense fund, we could not have kept up the fight the way we needed to. We did not have the money for the hard costs that it took to defend me. And I didn’t want to see you give up the fight simply for financial reasons.
Completely leaving aside the fact that Zimmerman says his painting has a “double entendre” in it (because come on, he’s stupid, we can’t expect him to say words correctly), and also setting aside the fact that he was actually not painting “the American flag,” we will just say AWWWWWW how nice, he is doing something nice for his friend! Because yes, this is the same Confederate flag-loving dumbass, Andy Hallinan, owner of Florida Gun Supply, who made a name for himself by banning scary Muslims from shopping at his establishment. And he is getting sued by the evil Muslims at CAIR. Even worse, those Muslims are using the Jesus American Constitution to sue him!
Thank heavens Hallinan has a real stupid, vaguely literate, trigger-happy artiste like George Zimmerman as a cuddle-friend! People whose countries have been stoled from them have to stick together, you know.
Anyway, this is a wonderful addition to Zimmerman’s growing oeuvre. Because remember that one “painting” he did of the mean prosecutor who had the utter balls to prosecute him for the “crime” of murder? Yeah, that one sold for more than 100,000 American dollars, on the internet:
And then there was that other time, when he ACTUALLY painted the American flag (if by “painted,” you mean “traced over some clip-art he found on Google image search”) with some poorly scrawled words written on top of it. Maybe this is what he was talking about in his Artist’s Statement. It’s such a pain in the ass when you’re working on one thing, and then The Muse knocks on the door and gives you an idea for another thing. It’s like, “Hey Muse, I’m just the guy who killed Trayvon Martin with a gun, what do you think I am, JACKSON FUCKING POLLOCK?” No way. He’s the new Michelangelo, but for sad racists who kill unarmed teenagers:
As we reported, prints of the new Zimmerman are available at the Florida Gun Shop, and you might win a contest if you buy one, and don’t you dare say anything about how roadside gun shops are not usually “where you buy art,” you effete, liberal, queer-loving America-haters. You go where the art IS, not where you EXPECT to find it.