HEY WONKETARIAT, we hope this weekly Top Ten post finds you rested and not too hungover. It’s time for us to look at all the stories that made you laugh and cry and whatever other emotions you feel in response to Wonkette posts, you’re very unpredictable. Guess what? That Duggar story is still going on, but we are happy to report that only HALF of the top ten posts this week are Duggar-related.
We will look at them in a second, but first, it’s time for us to say “PLEASE GIVE US SOME MONEY,” because it takes cash to keep your Wonkette up and running.. So what do you say you give us $5, in honor how much yr Wonkette loves you. It’s easy to do! Just click this link and say “here are five of my dollars, Wonkette should have them, because Wonkette tells me all the stories I need to know and I would be very sad if they didn’t.” Or you can give us money for a different reason, of your choosing, that’s allowed.
All right, here are your top ten posts of the week, as chosen by science, and by you, the readers. If you’ve already read them, make like a goldfish and pretend they’re BRAND NEW.
2. For the second or third week in a row, we present you with our most popular story about the Duggars EVER! Is there a connection between the Duggars and Hobby Lobby? OF COURSE THERE IS, and that is your number two story of the week.
3. Ted Cruz thought this would be a good week to make crass jokes about Vice President Joe Biden. This, of course, being the week that Biden buried his son Beau.
4. Mama Grizzly Sarah Palin gave the Duggars a tongue bath, just like she does with her own cubs.
5. Hey, did you know the Duggars could have been JAILED for ignoring their son’s kid-touching confessions, had the statute of limitations not run out?
6. Here’s an angry screaming patriot who is just CERTAIN that the Army has invaded Michigan. He’s got video to prove it!
7. We all know Megyn Kelly did a real shitty job with the Duggar girls interview, but you know why she decided to do such a bad job? Bill Clinton is why. Seriously.
8. This Arizona Muslim-hater just needs $10 million to save his family, or maybe to defeat John McCain. One of the two. But mean old GoFundMe won’t let him have it.
9. Here’s a Florida teen who is obviously a Bad Seed, which is why she lost a National Honor Society gig when she exercised her right to Bare Arms.
10. There are many fascinating angles to the Caitlyn Jenner story, but the funniest, hands down, is watching wingnuts squirm around the subject. Are they disgusted? Are they aroused? ALL OF THEM KATIE.
You Wonkers sure are good at picking stories!
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Okay, now go have a nice Sunday, and if you run into Megyn Kelly, give her a link to yr Wonkette, so she can see examples of what quality journalism looks like. See you Monday!