Remember that dude, Marco Rubio, from Florida? Probably not. He announced the end of his political career in April, when he said he’s already sick of being a senator, after four whole years, and will “run for president” instead, to deal with the number one threat to America, which is Cuba. Ah, but that was so many presidential announcements ago, and Rubio is boring and dumb, no one likes him — especially not after he was the only other GOP backstabber who joined fellow Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Traitor) to murder a bipartisan bill on Iran that Republicans really wanted.

Anyway, we’ve sort of forgotten to pay any attention to Rubio, on account of how he is boring and dumb, like we said, and he’s not going to be president, and soon, he won’t even be a senator anymore, but here’s a funny thing that fell out of Rubio’s wordhole, on Fox News’s “Outnumbered,” so let’s all take a few seconds to laugh at Rubio before we go back to ignoring him some more:

Rubio seemed to express support for US troops being present in Iraq, but he maintained this did not represent the controversial “nation-building” philosophy that led to a protracted American military presence in that country following the US invasion in 2003.

However, while insisting he doesn’t advocate “nation-building,” Rubio seemed to define his policy as exactly that.

“It’s not nation-building. We are assisting them in building their nation,” Rubio said of his vision for Iraq.

What’s the difference between “nation-building” and “building their nation”? Dunno! Pretty sure Rubio dunno either. His campaign staff sure dunno — not yet, anyway:

His campaign did not immediately respond to an email from Business Insider asking them to clarify how that is any different from “nation-building.”

Poor Rubio. He’s not very smart, he’s not very popular, and once he’s done losing in the Republican primary, he’s going to be not very employed either.

[Business Insider via Simon Maloy]

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  • chicken thief

    Stay thirsty, my friend.

    • FauxAntocles


  • JoeChristmas

    No chance is the same as presidential hopeful.

    • chicken thief

      Excellent point. Like being a ‘Bill Gates rich hopeful’ – there will be only one, and he’s it.

  • Anarchy Pony

    I used to think he was just a sort of standard, boilerplate inept repub, but now I think he is truly an idiot.


      Your staff did not immediately return my call to explain the difference

      • Vecciojohn

        It’s kind of like the difference between nation-building and helping build their nation.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    I’m not laughing at him. I’m looking at him and laughing.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Man, Wonkette must be so happy with all these Clown Car participants. It’s almost like a race to see who can stick their foot in their mouths faster.

    • SullivanSt

      The comedy writers’ union is really pissed at all these scabs muscling in on their turf though.

  • chicken thief

    His team couldn’t immediately respond because they were too busy getting their asses reamed by donors.

  • Callyson

  • FauxAntocles

    These are the bozos who think “an act of terrorism” is different from “a terroristic act”.

  • dslindc

    Marco who? Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.

    • FauxAntocles


    • ez

      Don’t you know? A savior! It has to be true, Time magazine sez so

      • Vecciojohn

        Time Magazine. Getting it wrong since 1923.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “This Mussolini fellow seems to have some good ideas.”

          • Whale Chowder

            In their September 1929 issue: “Stock market going up, up, up!”

        • frrolfe

          Why are they also running a front page story about a strippers life and death?

      • It’s quite an indictment of the GOP if Marco Fuckin’ Rubio is their savior.

        • SullivanSt

          Well, have you seen the other guys?

        • Doug Langley

          The Great White Dope.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Michael Grunwald: trying hard to be as dumb as Marco himself.

      • coozledad

        It’s like he doesn’t know what to do with those appendages. Quick, someone nail them to a beam.

  • crunchyknee

    He has a bright future on Fox.

    • Mavenmaven

      He doesn’t have the legs.

      • Bill Slider

        Do tell us more.

      • coozledad

        He doesn’t have the hair.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        But did you see him work that water bottle?
        Roger Ailes perked up.

  • SK

    “It is not molestation. It is basically touching your sisters over their clothes when they don’t want to be touched”

    • coozledad

      If the country isn’t paying attention when we come in, it’s not an invasion.

      • mtn_philosoph

        If we send in advisors, and then later on provide them with tactical support, and then provide those support teams with extra personnel to enhance security and assist them in their mission, and then send in many thousands more troops to back up and support the missions of those support troops while uprooting our “client’s” population and moving them to “strategic hamlets” surrounded by barbed wire while spraying their agricultural areas with tons of toxic defoliants and continuously carpet-bombing the cities and countryside of our client’s adversary in the part of the country that it controls, and then conduct major combat incursions into its neighboring countries, it isn’t really a war, is it?

        • coozledad

          It’s a police action,. Like they do in Texas.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Unfortunately, as long as FOX News is around, I don’t think Marco Rubio is going to be facing any unemployment worries.

  • Skwerl King

    When does the bracket elimination tournament start? And d we have to wait until March?

    • crunchyknee

      I’m sure that there will be 64 repub candidates by then.

      • SullivanSt

        Far fewer than 16 of them will be sweet, however.

      • Doug Langley

        I have this nightmare vision of Republican candidates swarming to the horizon like the extras in Ben-Hur.

        • BearGHAZI

          pretty soon their dead will litter the fields a la Gone with the Wind (politically dead of course)

        • jw

          Like the walkers jumping off the cliff on GoT!

          • mtn_philosoph

            Most of them were not WWs but wraiths who were under the control of the walkers, but yeah.

        • WagMoreBarkLess

          Like the Jerusalem undead swarming over the wall in “World War Z”!

      • grumblestiltskin

        Don’t forget the four play-in candidates. Plus Trump. And, of course, Palin. There. Sixty-nine and a half.

      • bobbert

        66. They’ll have to have a play-in.

    • nmmagyar

      I keep forgetting that it’s 2015 and not 2016. FML.

      • BackDoorMan

        … and if they keep things up at this pace, can you imagine how much bat-shit crazier things are going to be a year from now? My liver is already waving the white flag.

    • MrBlobfish

      They have the ‘madness’ part down pat.

    • TootsStansbury

      The press calls this embarrassment of riches a deep bench. They’re really just an embarrassment.

    • Lord-Nash

      The conservative entrants in this presidential race are about as serious runners as people who show up to a 5k in an H. R. Pufnstuf costume.

  • Me not sure

    “We’re not fucking anyone over, we’re just providing the penis, so they can fuck themselves.”

    • FauxAntocles


  • Notreelyhelping

    To be fair, when the dust settles, he can probably run for governor in Florida…and lose.

    • jw

      I don’t know, those morans (TeaThuglican spelling on purpose) have elected Rick Scott TWICE!

  • PubOption

    ‘Act of terror’ and ‘terrorist act’ are completely different things, so, it appears, are ‘nation-building’ and ‘building their nation’.

    • MrBlobfish

      Like Trump saying Obama’s Certificate of Birth is bogus cuz it doesn’t say Birth Certificate.

  • m3bosha

    Running for President? Not so much. Running for a super cushy and lucrative lobbying job? Absolutely!

  • VandeGraf

    Wake me up when Marco stops speaking. How many different ways can someone say, “Duh!”

  • JMPesq

    Marco Rubia is not an idiotic Senator, he’s a Senator who is an idiot.

    • Bad Granny

      He doesn’t say stupid things, it’s just that the things he says are stupid.

    • bobbert

      Idiotist, dammit.

  • Shibusa

    It’s not nation-building. We are assisting private American military contractors in building their bottom lines.

    • Reddishrabbit

      Coke dealers and hookers look forward to large growth in their industry.

      • Whale Chowder


  • azeyote

    maybe he’s just practicing one liners for his new career as a comedian – so he needs more practice, but hey practice makes perfect – or not

    • JDM

      Even then he’d be a Bania. He’s probably working on his Ovaltine joke in front of the mirror right now.

      • arglebargle

        That’s gold!

    • Doug Langley

      Sorry, but no mere mortal will ever match Dan Quayle’s record.

    • sundaytrucker

      A Catholic, a Jew, and a Kenyan Usurper walk into Benghazi…..

  • Electric Ukelele Land

    I get the impression this this is a person who is as surprised as anyone as to what comes out of his mouth.

  • Ever been so thirsty that you start saying insane things on cable news?

    • BackDoorMan

      … “I’m not always thirsty, but when I am… I go the full Rubio. Keep gulping, friends.”

  • Slithytoves

    I cried a little, at how funny this is.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I hear the shouts from the clown car now: “No room! No room!….”

    • SK

      Well, Palin’s bus must be available. She only used it for half her trip before she quit.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Um, have you seen the state she left that bus in?… somewhere between turkey beheading jihad and genetic clan war, don’t even think of putting your head in the door…

        • SK

          Hey. if it was good enough for Tawwwd, it’s good enough for Rubio. And Santorum.

          • Whale Chowder

            I’m sure there’s plenty of Santorum in there already.

  • AnOuthouse

    I like my Presidents to speak like they are 12 years old. He sounds like he just had his braces removed.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Oh noes! How will he be able to support his large family and his TWO churches?

    • frrolfe

      I got a question. Which of his many churches does he send his adorable kiddies to? Clincher!

  • SullivanSt

    Well, this is the league of morons that think there’s a meaningful difference between “act of terror” and “terrorist act”.

    I swear, all that Luntzing about has completely destroyed their ability to understand the meaning of words.

  • What’s the difference between “nation-building” and “building their nation”?

    The word “their”? So maybe it’s only “nation-building” if you kill off most of the indigenous population and herd the remainders onto reservations.

    • SullivanSt

      Oh, so that must be what ISIS is doing.

      • It’s admittedly a subtle distinction between GOP policy and ISIS policy.

        • Blank Ron

          There are only subtle distinctions between them.

  • MrBlobfish

    He got all nervous being surrounded by those foxy ladies of Fox News. Threw him off his game.

    • sundaytrucker

      Probably was a bit disconcerting being the smartest person in the room for once.

      • MrBlobfish

        Provide proof please.

  • Tom Lindsay

    It’s all semantics, brah

  • YayConspiracy

    one is a compound and the other one isn’t either.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    He fully supports the popular notion of killing foreigners in their own country.

  • Ravini

    “These pretzels are making me thirsty!”

    • coozledad

      Say, you know who else gagged on a pretzel?

      • janecita

        The bestest, smartest president ever?

  • jw

    Jesus, he really is dumb as a box of rocks.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Nation building is what dirty libertards do.
    Building thier nation is what strong he-men true patriotic Republicans do (with screaming eagles on thier shoulders)

  • say wha

    Marco the Nation Builder. Yes We Can/Maybe/Are/Not?

    • sundaytrucker

      Worst….PBS…children’s show….ever.

  • Ilgattomorte

    Ok guys, I think I might have this one. If we are “nation-building” , then we have to go in with the hammers, nails and concrete and actually build their nation. If we are “assisting them in building their nation”, then we point guns at them and make them do the work.

    It’s kind of like the difference between “Holmes on Homes” and “This Old House” only with more violence and the homeowner does all of the work.

  • DahBoner

    The best hope for America, is if Rubio opens a fish taco stand in San Diego and names it after himself…

  • The Big Truth

    Rubio is the spiritual successor to self-help guru Brad Goodman.

    “There’s no trick to it. It’s just a simple trick!” – Brad Goodman, encouraging the inhabitants of Springfield to loosen up and behave like Bart Simpson.

  • tegrat

    Also note that “water-guzzling” and “guzzling water” are not the same thing, please.

  • sundaytrucker

    He got it half right, that certainly is no way to build a nation.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Aw, Fox is already helping to clear the field of the riff (browns) and soon the raf (wimin) for the serious (white male) contenders.How nice!

  • ryp

    Go ahead and mock Rubio. Please, really do, but he’s more likely to be the nominee than any of the other stupids running.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Last cycle they said the only Republican candidate who polled well against Obama was the “generic” Republican candidate, because all the real ones were assholes. Rubio does seem to be pretty much Mr. Generic.

      • ryp

        Less obnoxious than Cruz
        Less stupid looking than Walker
        Less crazy than Paul
        Less hillbilly than Huckabee
        Less boring than Kasich
        Less pathetic than Perry
        Less brown than Jindal
        Less clueless than Carson
        Less sanctimonious than Santorum
        Less feminine than Graham
        Less grating than Fiorina
        Less absurd than Trump
        Less delusional than Pataki
        Less Bush than Jeb

        How can he lose?

    • dude there are 417 of them running. i don’t know what inside track you have but


      let me know who actually stabs jon snow (on the show). i got money on this.

      • ryp

        Rick Perry.

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    I wouldn’t worry too much about his job prospects. He’ll be working the Senate as a lobbyist for Cubans for Family Values before September.

  • SterWonk

    To be charitable to Rubio, it could be argued that it’s not “nation building” because we wouldn’t be building the nation, we would just assist those who are (re)building their nation (after we blew it to hell, then set things up for an inevitable civil war).

  • Manhattan123

    Is this like when they say President Obama did not call the Benghazi attack terrorism because he used the words an act of terror instead?

    Words are flexible for them.

    Josh Duggar didn’t really molest his sister because his pervy fingers were outside her clothes. But when they were inside her clothes it was only for a few seconds.

    The mental gymnastics these right-wing numbuts have to go through to stay in the Fox clubhouse is astounding.

  • TG_Chicago

    I dislike Rubio’s policies as much as the rest of y’all, but I get the distinction he’s trying to make between “nation-building” and “assisting with nation-building”. It’s a fine distinction that doesn’t make any difference to any actual persuadable person (if there is such a thing), but it’s not totally stupid.

    That said, he’s still wrong. It’s not like any of these nations asked for our “assistance” before we came in with our… errr… “creative destruction”. If Rubio was the victim of a home invasion and ransacking, he probably wouldn’t refer to it as assisting with interior design.

    • The request was sent telepathically! Yeah, that’s it…. all those men who stared at goats told the Bush administration that it was what the Iraqis really, really wanted.

  • Poly_Ester

    Its just as different as “an act or terror” is from “terrorism”.

  • TootsStansbury

    Either way it’s bullshit. Republicans never clean up the messes they make.

  • TG_Chicago

    Looking at the Business Insider link, I think this might have been an even stupider thing for Rubio to say:

    He argued that President Barack Obama’s administration supported
    former Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who has been criticized for
    trying to consolidate power in the country among his fellow Shias while
    leaving out Sunni Muslims. Rubio said this behavior by al-Maliki
    facilitated the rise of the jihadist group Islamic State (also known as
    ISIS) in Iraq.

    “What happened in Iraq under this administration is they rallied
    around Maliki. Maliki was a Shia leader who used his power to go after
    Sunnis,” Rubio explained. “That created the environment that was
    conducive for ISIS to come back in and cause all these problems.”


    al-Maliki came into power in 2006, during the Bush admin. Then he was reinstated after the 2010 Parliamentary elections. How was Obama going to go against the rightful democratic leader who had been leading since before he became president?

    This is utterly inane. It’s just “Obama did it!” with an extra layer of lies and obfuscation.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Nation-building is when you actually build a nation.
    If you are just paying Halliburton to assist them in rebuilding their nation, after smashing the shit out of it, then it’s called The Bush Doctrine.


  • diogenez

    The fact that Rubio is dumb – and moderately photogenic, make him a contender, imho.

  • Relativicus

    “They have the Big Mac. We have the Big Mick. They have the Golden Arches, and we have the Golden Arcs!”

  • D_C_Wilson

    What’s the difference between “nation-building” and “building their nation”?

    It’s the same as the difference between “terrorist attack” and “acts of terror.” It’s of vital importance to wingnuts but means nothing to sane Americans.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      OK, but “building a nation of theirs by us” is a totally different thing, right? Or how about “build of nation theiring?” There must be some way to pull off this scam.

  • BTroy

    It must be painful to be that stupid…

    • Blank Ron

      Nah, he’s too stupid to know how stupid he is. [insert that John Cleese image here]

  • arundel

    “Bottles of water HATE him!! Find out why by clicking here.”

  • TheBidenator

    Jebus what a moronic asshole…even Jebberz is trying to hesitate before giving his brother a tongue bath but not brave Sir Marco. I’m guessing it’s because thirsty boy has found his billionaire sugar daddy and his sugar daddy lurves him some Dubya, oh and Dick Cheney too.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Rubio – Dumber than Dirt, and Twice as Dry….

  • dookieboot2

    “It’s not ethnic cleansing. We are assisting them in cleansing their ethnics!”

  • Seriously

    “It’s not nation-building. We are assisting them in building their nation.”

    Hahahaha!!! What an asshat.

  • beatbort

    Does he know the difference between a blowjob and a job that blows?

    • fratdawgg23

      My guess is he has no gag reflex and eagerly swallows. LoL

    • Virginia Dreaming

      The first one is a requirement of hiring by Lindsay Graham and the second is a result of hiring Marco Rubio?

    • handyhippie65

      one is awesome, and the other is not?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    What a great response. I’m going to remember that one.

    “I’m not drunk, officer. I’ve just had too much to drink.”

  • sillyclucker

    I’m still trying to learn the difference between act of terrorism and terrorist act.
    Oops! Beat out by DC Wilson. Should have read the non comments first.

  • Helena Handbag

    Talking out of both sides of one’s mouth makes one mighty thirsty.

  • dshwa

    Almost as good as my coworker who told me that “just because something is in the bible doesn’t make it biblical.”

  • j hentai


  • Incoming Ham

    His campaign is likely trying to figure out a way of making what he said not mean what he said.

    Courage mes amis. Courage. You haven’t even started the race.

  • Rubio/Jindal 2016
    A Never Ending Brown Note for America!

  • fratdawgg23
    • janecita

      Too bad that he didn’t throw up on top of Ileana Ros-Lehtinen!

  • Virginia Dreaming

    There is a rumor that his campaign is trying to recruit Tim Tebow hit all the other republican candidates in the face with a football, so he will be the prettiest one left. A spokesman for the campaign commented, “Jeb, Jeb, Jeb . . .”

  • 3FingerPete

    Vanilla Ice was also a master of such subtle differences.

  • janecita

    I think that Marco Rubio and Tom Cotton, are aiming to be the new John McCain and Lindsey Graham of the Republican party. These two idiots, are trying now to block financial transactions with Cuba. The rice farmers in Arkansas, aren’t too happy with their boy Tom. They have been drooling over the possibility of selling tons of rice to Cuba.

  • windycitygurl

    NYT has you beat with blockbuster news on Rubio and Mrs Rubio traffic violations.
    Twitter REALLY likes Marco Rubio today – #RubioCrimeSpree – trending all day.

  • Blackest Noobs

    listen, will you listen, just listen, we’re not about nation building, we’re just helping build their nation which has nothing to do with nation building, we’re just like, you know, building their nation.

    -M. ” Smart-guy” Rubio

    p.s. watch for Cuba, they might run us over with 1952 Chevy.

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