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A true work of naive American art and his painting

For the “Well, Of Course, It Had To Happen” files today, we learn the attorney for Matthew Apperson, the guy who shot at American Second Amendment hero George Zimmerman last month, is planning on using a “stand your ground” defense, since it’s Florida and everybody needs to stand their ground before the Atlantic Ocean swallows the whole state.

Following Apperson’s bond hearing Friday, his attorney, Michael Lafay, told a reporter “That’s a good look into the future,” when asked about the possibility of a self-defense claim. “And, of course, as you know, Mr. Zimmerman is no stranger to a ‘stand your ground’ situation.”

A spokesperson for the Gods Of Irony said they were veering between riotous laughter and sighing at the predictability of it all.

Apperson was arrested May 11 after shooting at Zimmerman in Lake Mary, Florida, after the two men encountered each other in traffic. He claimed that Zimmerman pointed a gun at him and threatened to kill him, so he fired a single round at Zimmerman from a .357-caliber handgun; the shot missed but Zimmerman was injured in the face and arm by flying debris when the bullet hit the interior of his truck.

Zimmerman’s attorney, Don West, says that Apperson attacked Zimmerman without provocation, and that Zimmerman did have a weapon in his vehicle, but didn’t brandish it, arguably the first time in his life that he ever missed the opportunity to wave a gun around.

At the bond hearing Friday, Judge Debra S. Nelson ordered Apperson to wear a GPS ankle bracelet that would set off an alert on a device worn by Zimmerman if Apperson comes anywhere near him. Isn’t technology a wonderful thing? The GPS device will not restrict Apperson’s movements but will give Zimmerman the chance to avoid him, or, this being George Zimmerman, to lock and load. Not that he’d ever do such a thing.

West said the shooting for Zimmerman was “a remarkably traumatic event.” A bullet passed within “inches of his head.”

Before the hearing, West said Zimmerman is currently in the Seminole County area but plans to leave the state.

Betting lines are now open on George Zimmerman’s eventual destination; our money is on Texas. Perhaps red states will have a bidding war to try to recruit him.

Prosecutors said in their motion for the GPS device that Apperson has a history of bipolar disorder and anxiety, and that three weeks prior to the shooting, Apperson had been released from a psychiatric ward. In an arrest report, a Lake Mary police detective wrote, “It appears that Apperson has a fixation on Zimmerman[.]” Since George Zimmerman is a paranoid who’s certain that there’s a price on his head, so they seem like they’re destined to star in a sitcom/reality show together. Yr Wonkette is already preparing to pitch The Deadliest Odd Couple to TLC, which may have a programming slot available.

The May shooting was apparently the third encounter between the two men; the first, back in September, was another road rage incident in which Zimmerman allegedly threatened Apperson at a stoplight, yelling “Why are you pointing your finger at me? I (expletive) kill you. Do you know who I am?” There was no prosecution in that incident, because George Zimmerman never gets charged Apperson declined to press charges.

In addition to the .357 he used to shoot at Zimmerman, he also had a .22 caliber Glock .40 caliber Glock 22* and 47 rounds of ammunition in his vehicle at the time of the shooting. And George Zimmerman, needless to say, was also armed. You’d almost think that gun-humpers’ bumper stickers are fibbing about that whole “An armed society is a polite society” thing. Or maybe you just need more guns everywhere to improve the overall level of etiquette.

*Update/correction: The Orlando Sentinel identified Apperson’s second handgun as a “.22 caliber Glock;” alert commenter “JohnR” notes that it was almost certainly a “Glock Model 22,” which is .40 caliber, not .22 caliber. In other words, a bigger bangier gun.

[Orlando Sentinel / RawStory]

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