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She's coming for YOU. And YOU. And YOU.

The corpse that was America’s liberty until President Obama killed it is not even cold yet, but the National Rifle Association is already warning us of the extra-death of liberty that lies ahead, since Hillary Clinton “has formally declared her intention to assume the office of president of the United States.” (We assume she intends to do this by winning the presidential election, like she said, but maybe she’s just going to assume the office without the farce of democracy, so she can get right to extra-deathing our liberty. That’s probably the plan.)

The NRA’s irrefutable article, titled “Hillary’s Long Con,” proves that Clinton has been planning, for decades, to destroy all the guns in America, and in 2016, she will at last be positioned to implement her evil scheme. The reason is obvious:

Hillary Clinton disdains and distrusts that freedom. She distrusts the American people to possess that freedom. So she wants control over every aspect of your right to keep and bear arms—so she can deny it at will.

Despite her “tortuous and snaky convolutions” over the years, and her claims “that she grew up shooting, that she hunts ducks (with a rifle, no less!) or that she doesn’t want to take anyone’s guns away,” her support for certain regulations on gun ownership that the overwhelming majority of gun owners also supports, makes her intentions perfectly clear. And not only does she plan to wage an all-out war on gun ownership, but she’s going after gun owners and America’s children too:

As Hillary Clinton told a group of New York school students in 1999, “It is really important for each of you [kids] to make sure you stay away from guns. If you have guns in your home, tell your parents to keep them away from you …”

That kind of blatant disregard for parents’ freedom to leave their guns laying around where their young tikes can discover them and oops! shoot their friends and family dead is exactly why Clinton must be stopped now, before it is too late, even though it’s already too late because she’s been working on this since the ’90s, “much in the spirit of her husband’s deputy attorney general, Eric Holder, who called for brainwashing American youth against guns.” (Oh, for the days when Eric Holder was merely President Obama’s attorney general, helping him to implement the evil scheme to seize everyone’s guns, by not seizing their guns, just to “lull gun owners to sleep” before then seizing their guns. Still waiting for that to happen.)

Worse still, when Clinton isn’t also lulling gun owners into a false sense of security, she is being racist against them, with her slurs:

She even went so far as to slur gun owners as dangerous extremists when she said, “We cannot let a minority of people—and that’s what it is, it is a minority of people—hold a viewpoint that terrorizes the majority of people.”

That was in reference to the minority of people who do not support universal background checks. But when polling shows that only 92 percent of voters, including 92 percent of gun owners, support such tyranny, who is Clinton to criticize the silenced single-digit minority?

It is time to wake up, people. Bill Clinton came for your guns, in the ’90s, which is why there are no more guns. And then Barack Obama came for your guns again, which is why there are even more no more guns. And once Hillary Clinton ascends to the presidency, there will be so many no more guns, you won’t even be able to count how many no more guns there are. RIP, freedom. Again.

[NRA via Media Matters / Pew Research Center / The Hill]

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  • marxalot

    That’s it. That’s my new wallpaper, right there.

    • Callyson

      If I didn’t already have an avatar that I love, I’d download that photo, stat…

    • willi0000000

      download it, reduce it to 73×64 pixels, set your screen resolution to 1937×666 and tile it.

      [if you put your eyes exactly 19″ from the screen and stare at it long enough you can see a 3D AK-47]

  • Beowoof14
  • Callyson

    the National Rifle Association is already warning us of the extra-death of liberty that lies ahead

    I’m not sufficiently pissed off right now, so I think I’ll click on the link…

    …oh Jesus fucking Christ, I’m already aggravated and I haven’t even read it yet. “America’s first freedom”? Yeah, that would be the freedom to speak, assemble, and think, not the freedom to own whatever semi-automatic weapon you wingnuts want to fondle, assholes…

    • Blank Ron

      It’s the freedom to speak, assemble, and think about guns. Nuance, right?

    • bikerlaureate

      The whole point of traveling across the ocean and later trying to form a country was gunz.

      I mean, I don’t know what history book you’re reading, but our great nation owes everything else to plentiful muskets.

      • YourMom

        And smallpox-infected blankets.

        • FlownOver

          And anus burgers.

          • Amy!

            I’m getting confused. Smallpox-infected burgers, plentiful blankets, and anus muskets?

            Somebody’s gonna have a hell of a party.

          • HarryButtle

            Stand and deliver! Or you’ll feel the wrath of my anus musket!

          • david green

            I really hate, after using my anus musket, having to clean it for inspection.

  • whatwhomever

    If everyone the NRA claimed was “comin’ ta git yer guns” did in fact come to get people’s guns, no one would have any guns. Obviously, the opposite is true. In fact, every time the NRA gins up gun taking fear, more and more guns are sold. Who’s running the long con here?

    • Anarchy Pony

      Take yer basic reasoning back to russia, commie!

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I see your trick, Libtard! You are trying to say The NRA is running the long con, but I already know the answer: “HILLARY!!!1”

      I mean, follow the money.
      Sure, the NRA gets money directly from the firearm industry, and from firearm owners, and even more so when there are increased gun sales.

      But Hillary gets something, I guess money, sure, when some shadowy group totally swoops in and represses and imprisons all the people once the guns are taken and everyone is defenseless to fight back. I guess there is money in repressing people, or something? Maybe they steal it from people when the Agenda 21 Jackboots are doing daily repressing stuff.

      Anyway, IT COULDN’T BE CLEARER! ITS HILLARY!!!1

  • borninatrailer

    She’s getting up there. Can we call her “Long Con Silver” from now on?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Oh hush puppy.

  • Mary Sandoras

    How is anyone ever going to resolve any conflicts without their gunz?

    • weejee

      Do bazookas and RPGs count as gunz or as variations on ctrl+alt+del?

      • willi0000000

        if your aim is any good, you don’t need ctrl or alt.

        [and you get a whole lot of del]

    • RepubAnon

      Indeed – just ask yourself “What would George Zimmerman do?” Pop quiz: If both people use their 2nd Amendment rights to solve a dispute, is the survivor automatically considered the “good guy”?

      • Relativicus

        #colormatters

      • Mary Sandoras

        Ha, trick question. According to NRA only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun, so the survivor must be the good guy, not the better shooter of the two.

        • SuspectedDemocrat

          Good guy, better shooter… isn’t that the same thing? Because otherwise there’s a huge flaw in their theory.

          • HarryButtle

            It’s like a trial by combat. In the eyes of God (Republican Jeebus), only the good guy with the gun can prevail on a field of battle.

      • Virginia Dreaming

        That is how I live. I ask myself “What would George Zimmerman do?” Then I do something different. So far I have never been arrested, involved in a gunfight, or been afraid of a black person, so it must be working.

      • whatwhomever

        That is generally how wars between nations work. Why not apply that model to individual disputes?

    • YourMom

      Hellz, yeah. Fuck rule of law…that’s so yesterday. Let’s go all Mad Max.

  • Callyson

    Oh God, that “America’s first freedom” link just gets better:

    Beyond bans and limits on firearms, Clinton is happy to wage cultural war on the Second Amendment, much in the spirit of her husband’s deputy attorney general, Eric Holder, whocalled for brainwashing American youth against guns. As Hillary Clinton told a group of New York school students in 1999, “It is really important for each of you [kids] to make sure you stay away from guns. If you have guns in your home, tell your parents to keep them away from you …”

    Because what could possibly go wrong if kids get the idea that guns are cool toys to play with? Come on, parents, let your little ones get a good look at your cool new weapon!!!

    • marxalot

      When was the last time we had a roundup of Responsible Gun Owner/Parent of the Year Finalist with babby and gunz pics, anyway?

    • MrBlobfish

      Zombie Eric Holder? That was quick.

      • willi0000000

        they just can’t quit him.

    • bikerlaureate

      New York children shouldn’t stay away from guns.

      I thought armed feral youth were a cause of ceaseless terror in the hearts of these brave 8%ers.

  • weejee

    So Little Kim is a lifetime NRA member?

    • sundaytrucker

      It is a polite society…

      • whatwhomever

        everyone (who’s still alive) is very polite to him.

        • weejee

          Quad 50s can do that.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He just likes a little target practice now and then.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      He so looks like an Asian Cartman in that picture.

  • memzilla

    Oh, Conspiracy FAIL, NRA! She’s going to confiscate all the guns… and use them to arm all the urbanz who will impose her Sharia Commie Muslin Chicago Chatauqua Black Panther DicVagtatorship over the true-blue Confederate flag-wavin’ ‘Muricans who will be throat crammed with all teh ghey until they won’t breed anymore and cannot defend their homes against the Liberal Feminazi Atheists!

    (did I miss anything?)

    • marxalot

      Witches. Everyone knows it’ll be a Black Panther Lez-Commie Wiccan Vagtatorship.

    • MrBlobfish

      Vagtator chips

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Low carb alternative to Salted Rat Dicks?

    • Callyson

      Something something tree-huggers and union thugs argle bargle.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You didn’t think of Teh Children!
      Otherwise, surprisingly complete. Upfistcarat for you.

    • Tallmutha

      BENGHAZI!!!

    • sundaytrucker

      You missed the part where we weren’t suppose to let them know. 2nd Amendment Apocalypse Day has been cancelled, everyone. Blame memzilla for not being able to keep his mouth shut.

    • CalvinianChoice

      Benghazi!!!

      • mtn_philosoph

        Bangunzi!!!

    • JohnBull

      Well you missed Ben Gazzy, probably because mentioning him would get you banned from the Internets and guns and this country, the bestest in the world!

  • MrBlobfish

    Worse than Obama!!1!

  • Zippy

    Bill Clinton Barack Obama Hillary Clinton is coming for yer gunz@!1!!1!

    they really do just execute a macro and change the names, don’t they?

    • Logic of Color

      %democrat%

  • Tallmutha

    Christ, if the NRA leadership keeps writing articles like this, their audience of bellicose, paranoid, mouth-breathing masculinity-threatened peckerwoods might vote for the Republican!

    • Logic of Color

      One of these days Democrats will discover a “liberal” strategy, and stop leaning towards voters that will NEVER EVER vote for them.

      • marxalot

        Sort of like someday the people who own the rights to Star Trek will just produce a movie or show tailored to their fans instead of trying to get the cool kids to like it?

        • whatwhomever

          Ha, ha, no.

        • Doug Langley

          Well, it might help if the people who own the rights to Star Trek actually LIKED Star Trek.

  • JMPesq

    I’m confused, according to NRA warnings Obama was going to take everyone’s guns away – surely he must have done so by then.

    • timpundit

      Yeah I mean what gives? There are still guns around???

      • Blank Ron

        I think I saw one in the corner… oh, sorry, Obama just ran in and took it. Drat the man.

        • Biff52

          That’s some srs gun-fu, since you live in Canada City!

          • Blank Ron

            Yes, the man is unstoppable!

    • MrBlobfish

      Tyrant Obama is gonna give all the guns back just so Hitlery can take them again.

      • Relativicus

        That is soooooo him.

      • Steverino247

        PSYCH!!!

      • mtn_philosoph

        Oh when will the treachery end?

    • Skwerl King

      He would have done it too if it hadn’t been for American’s guns and the NRA!

    • Logic of Color

      Clearly the NRA’s reputation on such matters is shot, and they will not be taken seriously by patriotic gun owners

    • Anarchy Pony

      He never stopped! I’ll just be sitting at home, eating dinner, the BAM, in comes obama, and just starts taking all my guns. Then I’ll be outside sipping a brew and BOOM, here comes obama, kust taking all my guns. He just won’t stop taking all my guns!

      • Biff52

        I can’t count how many times he has just cold taken all my guns. Oh sure, it looks like they’re all still here…

        • Anarchy Pony

          But he just keeps on taking them. He’s insatiable.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …remember Lib-Tards, it’s not called a “trigger” it’s a “FREEDOM SWITCH”!!!

    • Virginia Dreaming

      And if you use the freedom switch on the wrong person, you can get a Freedom Fry? (Which translates to a black person shooting a white person getting the electric chair.)

  • Left Coast Tom

    Oh good, gun paranoia. Might as well leave this Ronald Reagan Gun Control link for the inevitable Deleted Commenters.

    • JustPixelz

      OOH! OOH! Let me try:

      You LIBTARDS dont understand liberty comes from our gun rights. If you take our gun away, they will shut down you’re bulletin board and send you’re unaborted children to a “city” school. And who will help you? Not us. TRAITERS hang themselves. What part of “should not be infringed” don’t you understand? YOUR IDIOTS!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Also, too, morans.

  • diogenez

    LaPierre must really need another yacht, huh?

    Ginning up the fear and gun sales already?

    • Zippy

      it’s never too early to cash in on the gullibility of the rubes

      • david green

        What he really needs is a better hair stylist.

  • Joshua Norton

    Behold! The stupidest NRA apologist crap ever written – at least until the next bit of stupidest NRA apologist crap ever written is written, which will be, at most, a couple of days if history is any judge.

  • diogenez

    noise

  • Virginia Dreaming

    I am actually kind of surprised that the NRA hasn’t released a statement saying that if a good guy with a gun had been on the train last night in Philly, he could have prevented it from derailing.

  • Relativicus

    People, relax! This is actually as close as the NRA can come to openly endorsing Hitlery Killbabies for president.

  • cousin itt

    Hillary has already traveled to the future and stopped me from owning the guns I have never had nor want.

    • Ian

      You mean past…or?….Whoa! Time travel is hard.

      • Mr Corrections

        Hillary is going to will have banned Time Guns yestertomorrow.

        (This is why the Doctor has to fight evil space robots with only a piddly screwdriver. Thanks, Hillary!)

  • CutterTeam

    Dear Ignorant, Uneducated, Gun-Toting Rubes,

    Given that we haven’t tired of taking your money yet, we feel compelled to inform you that — just like President Obummer — Hillary Clinton hates freedom and wishes to take away all of your guns and skull-fuck the barrels with her strap-on. Granted this will never actually happen, but all of you have zero critical-thinking skills and the IQ of a fucking carrot, so we’re going to put it out there anyway. Please send us more of your money.

    We look forward to playing you for chumps again in the very near future.

    Regards,

    Wayne LaPierre

    • JMPesq

      PS You better go out there and keep buying as many guns as you can, because they’re sure to be illegal soon. Spend, spend, spend more money for the gun companies I work for – uh I mean I work for you, the gun owners, of course!

      • Biff52

        AND TEH BULLETS! BY ALL TEH BULLETS!

        • Blank Ron

          Can you put bullets on an EBT card?

          • willi0000000

            so far, only in texass.

      • bikerlaureate

        Any day now… aaaany day now… the Kenyan Usurper will spring into action, and the stoopidheads who criticized the ultra-fearful fringe will be sorry.

  • JustPixelz

    Every day ISIS and al Queda thank the NRA for its help.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not to mention every last violent criminal in this country.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Look, I’m not saying the NRA is going to use all those assault rifles to stage a violent coup, I’m just saying they need the freedom to have that option if they want it.

  • kindness

    Since the NRA has devolved into a Marketing Associate for gun manufacturers it’s been a One Trick Pony shop. Here it is doing it again. They hardly bothered to remove the ‘blackity black black’ reference and scrawled in Hillary’s name before every piss-in-their-pants line of the speech.

    Me thinks all the Conservative Grifting Groups own Dry Cleaning shops or underwear manufacturing plants world wide.

    • bikerlaureate

      Apparently their membership doesn’t mind the deception of conflating “gun owners” with “paranoid pants-wetting loons,” which can only turn out well for them and us.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Wait…Hillary is going to confiscate all the guns? I thought that was Obama who was going to do that?

    • Anarchy Pony

      Any second now!

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Every time he sneaks into a home in the middle of the night to take all the guns, the NRA sneaks in and replaces them.

      • bikerlaureate

        Did the NRA hire that svelte gymnast-type from the insurance commercial?

    • Mr Corrections

      They’ll take it in turns, obviously.

    • dshwa

      She’s going to appoint Obama as gun collection Czar.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Wait…Hillary is going to confiscate all the guns? I thought that was Obama who was going to do that?

  • Thaumaturgist

    Trains don’t kill; engineers kill.

  • Steverino247

    We have always been at war with East Vagina.

    • SnarkOff

      Is that anywhere near West Buttfuck?

      • Steverino247

        I don’t know the exact distance but I do know that if you enter the wrong place without permission, you won’t be near either place again for quite some time.

      • Amy!

        No, ’tain’t.

    • bikerlaureate

      But Billo ASSured us the radical feminists will really have free rein. Scary, scary.

    • Doug White

      Yeast Vagina? Try vinegar…..

  • sorbs

    Thanks for the reminder to send in my NRA membership application. I’m curious about how my membership card will look, since I listed my name as “Fu*koff Anddie.”

  • chicken thief

    That’s a pretty tough crowd if gunning down Vince Foster in a federal park won’t shut them up.

    • Relativicus

      I think they’re angry because Foster was actually mud-diddly-urdered by crossbow.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        I thought Hilz had personally shot him with a silenced 9mm then had his body and any witnesses dropped into the Baltimore canyon. Maybe these NRA guys see that in their future?

  • VandeGraf

    It’s time to call a spade a spade. The NRA is a communist pinko gay Kenyan Jew Buddhist front bent on overthrowing the United States of America and instituting martial sharia totalitarian Hebrew contemporary art Islamic domination. The NRA has determined that Christians– specifically those kumbaya singing hippies that don’t believe in violence or hollow points– have to be rounded up, shoveled into boxcars, and shipped to camps. Also, people of any color except “flesh” or pink must be gathered into superdomes and “raptured,” Their secret protocols require that all voters committing voter fraud by voting must be made to swear allegiance to the new regime and sign a pro-9mm pledge. The NRA is taking over, and must either be stopped, or we’re all going to be libertied right into the attic with the Frank family.

    • XanNelson

      I actually followed that.

      • willi0000000

        i liked the part about ‘contemporary art’

  • Me not sure

    Hillary dropped by and collected all of my guns yesterday. She said she wanted to get to work right away. I guess she feels pretty confident about that election thingie next year.

  • Blank Ron

    She hunts ducks with a RIFLE? She just got at least 35% more badass.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Please let it be a breech loading .22, that would be another 15% badass.

      My friend used to hunt wild turkeys with a single-shot .22 because it was more of a challenge.

    • grumblestiltskin

      That’s nothing. I used to hunt ’em with a plastic Luger–a gun which Hillary is welcome to if she wants it, though I’m not sure where the old NES actually is.

    • JAWs

      See, this another example of chicks not knowing anything about guns! The proper way to hunt ducks is with a plastic orange and gray pistol. Ugh, women!

  • Paperless Tiger

    I don’t know where she hunts, but she seems to do most of her fishing in the mainstream.

    • Lancelot Link

      Well, that IS where majorities are usually found.

  • Keith Rodgers

    I was at Cabela’s the other day and the place is FULL of guns. Lots of guns of all types. Racks and racks of ammo, too.
    So not only is Wayne Frenchy LaPierre’s message wrong, stupid, hyperbolic, over-the-top, silly, repetitive and totally unproven, it seems to be very ineffective.
    Money well spent, assholes.

    • alnnc

      Temporary lull. Just wait until summer 2016. With Hilary in the lead, the GOP and NRA will run even more ads saying she is finalizing her plans to take everyone’s guns and the shelves will be bare.

      • david green

        Time to invest in gun futures or stocks or whatever it is you invest in. I’ve invested all my money in hobo beans.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Hillery can confiscate my guns when she pries them from my cold, dead hands (assuming I ever acquire a gun.)

  • chascates

    Hah! I remember when the NRA was screaming that Jimmy Carter was going to seize all the guns! And their fear mongering is great for the gun industry. All it takes is the NRA saying that high capacity magazines are going to be banned and gun owners will buy as many as they can afford, even for guns they don’t have. AR-15-style guns were a small segment of the market and called ‘assault rifles’ before the NRA and the gun press started pushing them as ‘Modern Sporting Rifles (MSR). They’re fine for predator and hog culling but if you need more than 3 shots to harvest game you should stick to the grocery store. And my old pump 12-gauge will repel any goblins that show up at my door.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      One good thing the assault weapon ban did, it gave gun makers a loophole so they could still sell an autoloading .223 rifle, but without the pistol grip and detatchable magazine, they just looked ridiculous and nobody would buy them.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Careful. Too much of this line of conversation, & you summon the nihilist.

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    The NRA forgot to mention that she has a vagina too, also.
    SCARY

  • FlownOver

    Assume office assumed.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I’m supposed to be pissed because Hillary is trying to convince the kids not to mess with my guns? I’ll take all the help I can get. Bullets cost money. I don’t want the little bastards shooting them off like they were firecrackers.

  • Dee Andee

    Don’t wingnuts ever get worn out from being scared all the time?

    • willi0000000

      no.

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      They have SSDI & Medicaid/Medicare for that.

    • ThatDale

      My question exactly.

  • sillyclucker

    I see the NRA has planned a seamless transition for the fear of presidential gun grabbing. Interesting they also assume there won’t be Republican president.

  • Annie Towne

    I said this before, and I’ll say it again: it’s fine with me if she (or anyone else) assumes the throne, or whatever it is they have down there in Washington DC, as long as we don’t have to go through the upcoming, 18-month-long Hell Week. Fuck it.

  • DahBoner

    According to the NRA, Obama and Hillary have grabbed American’s guns about as many times as The Fonz told everyone to sit on it…
    http://media0.giphy.com/media/Kk0RFYeGWufII/200w_d.gif

  • Fly

    Hillary is scaring all their guns and the NRA is worried they will go off on them.

  • toughsister

    I am sick and tired of hearing libertylibertylibertylibertylibertylibertylibertylibertyliberty freedomfreedomfreedomfreedomfreedomfreedomfreedomfreedomfreedom while the country’s infrastructure, education, prosperity, employment, healthcare are all going to hell and the United States of America is third-worldizing itself to benefit the likes of the Koch Brothers, Sheldon Adelson, Wall Street, and, of course, the merchants of death (aka defense industry), not to mention Israel, the chief bloodsucker. Fuck freedom and liberty. I want people to have access to jobs, education, healthcare, stability in their lives, peace, order, and good government. Once we have achieved that sustainably, then we can start talking fucking liberty and freedom.

    • Antony

      Great post! A crumbling empire always tries to invest in defense. We are borrowing anywhere from $500 to 900 billion per year and the monthly trade deficit with China runs around $40 billion. You add Korea, Japan, and a few other European allies, every month we send another $20 billion out. Now, we borrow all these to spend the way we lived in the past. When Boeing sells a plane, it brings home $200 million. That $200 million gets circulated in the economy as the workers spend. I think this how the American economy is supposed to be! Is not it? What happened to our jobs? We recall Ross Perot – who vehemently opposed NAFTA and that is how Clinton came. Clinton could have reversed it – but he did not. I assume once you are in the high office you forget about average folks. Nearly a quarter of our tax dollars going to military. Can we afford to
      maintain such as large military and its associated defense contractors
      and civilians when we are borrowing this mo0ney to balance the budget?

      These days every kid in the college wants to study communication, journalism — what about electrical engineering? aeronautical engineering, industrial chemistry, optics? No – they are too hard. How many folks in ESPN lost jobs in the last recession (2008-2009)? I think they went on hiring! Parents in South Korea struggle for educating their kids – often the mother comes to US or Canada with kids and the father works to support them. The reason, they cannot get into some of the best schools in South Korea – but no problem to get into the schools here.

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