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Actual women's studies professor

Prepare to be shocked and appalled and disgusted, while you’re at it, because you know who is really making out like bandits these days? No, not those Wall Street types who make six-figure bonuses on top of their six-figure salaries. According to Tucker Carlson’s interwebs asylum for keyboard monkeys willing to swear a blood oath to Fox News, it is professors. And not even real professors, but “gender studies” professors:

America’s gender studies, ethnic studies and various other “studies” professors live in the lap of luxury compared to Americans in most occupations.

Full professors at four-year colleges and universities who specialize in the fields of “area, ethnic, cultural, gender and group studies” bring home a median annual salary of $105,304, according to data released by the Chronicle of Higher Education earlier this week.

In case you are not sure how to calibrate your outrage appropriately, the Daily Caller helpfully points out:

By way of comparison, a typical American firefighter earns $48,270 per year. Plumbers make $52,390. Stonemasons make $39,990. Boilermakers make $57,920.

Why are we comparing totally unrelated professions that have nothing to do with each other? Because, that is why! Obviously, some dumb feminazi teacher who’s trying to indoctrinate your daughters into Marxist Lesbian Black Panther Man-Hating should not be making more than “Joe” the “Plumber,” wouldn’t you agree? Of course you would! And now you are OUTRAGED too, are you not?

And why is it that these scamster academics teaching fake subjects make so much more money than real college professors? Explain THAT, Chronicle of Higher Education:

Screen Shot 2015-03-20 at 9.45.09 AM

Oh. Wait a minute. Gender studies and ethnic studies professors actually do NOT make more money than all the other kinds of professors? They make less — a lot less, actually — than other professors who teach real subjects like The Law and Bidness and Engineering and Computer Stuff.

Since we are not a shitrag liar like the Daily Caller, we will concede that gender and ethnic studies professors make slightly above the average for all professors combined, which, obviously, is a HEINOUS MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE and also the economy but definitely not the Free Market, which presumably sets these prices but couldn’t possibly be to blame here.

Why can’t those feminists just marry a real professor, and let him bring home whatever the Latin for bacon is? Shaking our damn heads, “gender” “studies” “professors.” Shaking our damn heads.

[Daily Caller/The Chronicle of Higher Education]

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  • JohnBull

    So I take it that people who read the Daily Caller can afford to hire a stonemason. Glad someone’s making money in this awful Obama economy.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    $57,920 sounds like an awful lot of money for what is essentially a shot of whiskey inside a glass of beer.

    • FauxAntocles

      That’s why I don’t drink the fancy stuff.

    • Beaumarchais?

      This one must be in that giant cask Aaron Schock is holding back.

    • Blank Ron

      Remind me not to drink at Tucker Carlson’s favourite bar.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Why aren’t they comparing with the salaries of parasites on Wall Street pulling down six figures?

    Or parasite trust fund baby publishers of Faux Noise suckup sites?

  • Msgr_Moment

    By way of comparison, a typical American firefighter earns $48,270 per year. Plumbers make $52,390. Stonemasons make $39,990. Boilermakers make $57,920.

    That reminds me of a joke. Two muleskinners walk into a bar……

    • OneYieldRegular

      Candlestickmaker libel!

  • anniegetyerfun

    This is why The Daily Caller supports an increase in the federal minimum wage, right? To combat these unfair salary discrepancies?

    • splashy79

      No, no, no, we must go DOWN with wages, not up!

      • Blank Ron

        It WOULD only be fair.

  • Nounverb911

    How much does Tucker pay his bowtie tier?

    • junior friggster

      Sounds like only a gender studies prof could afford to tipple there.

      • Nounverb911

        Is the gender studies prof studying what gender Tucker is?

        (Sorry about the edit there, Junior.)

        • junior friggster

          My zinger, my precious zinger! You’ve destroyed all my hard work. Now I’ll never make senior friggster in the comedy stylings department.

  • deanbooth

    Bacon is Bacon! in any language.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Are there any firefighters at Wonkette who can talk about salary? My brother-in-law is a paramedic with a fire department, but worked as a firefighter for a number of years. I don’t think he ever made that little, even starting out.

    • under_score

      Yep, and while we are at it, let’s limit it to those with at least 10 years experience & a couple of promotions, comparable to what it takes to be a full professor.

      Alternatively let’s compare these things to the salary of an assistant prof–just starting. I’m willing to bet the outrage meter would not even be in the red.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        Silly…it starts in the red and just gets redder.

      • elviouslyqueer

        The starting salary for a Research Associate at our institution (with a PhD REQUIRED) is $13.15 an hour. And the vast majority of these positions are grant-funded.

        So let me be the first second third fuck it… AOT,K… to tell Tucker Carlson and his Daily Caller cumrag sniffers to go royally fuck themselves with a rusty sledgehammer.

    • Shelwood, who I think confines herself to Wonkville nowadays, is a firefighter. I’m sure that after reading this story she would be outraged at herself.

    • bobbert

      I have a hunch that the FF salary number doesn’t include the overtime that every FF gets because of shift duty. Our local fire district contracts with CalFIRE, and we pay them (roughly) $150K per body. They charge us about 10%, and since this is socialist California, accumulated benefits probably amount to about 80%, so that would put the salary (including OT) in the neighborhood of $75,000.

      Obviously, other agencies may have different results.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Found this regarding the metro area I live in (SF/Oakland/Fremont): http://www.usawage.com/ca/firefighters-salary-in-san_francisco-oakland-fremont-ca.php

        They go on to compare salaries with places elsewhere in the state, the state median, and the (much lower) national median. From this I draw the shocking conclusion that public servant salaries are higher in places where it’s expensive to live.

        • bobbert

          See, this still leaves open the question of hours. From the tables you link, the “average hourly wage” is 1/2080 of the corresponding annual salary. But firefighters don’t work 40-hour weeks.

          Your shocking conclusion is nevertheless true.

  • hornheat

    I think it should be “Wall Street types who make EIGHT figure bonuses on top of their EIGHT figure salaries.” Sigh…

    • Nounverb911

      And poor Steven Cohen has to sell his little pied-a-tierre in NYC.

      • BackDoorMan

        … he must be worried about rising sea levels and that’s why he’s selling. Otherwise, what’s the point of the rubber dingy in the living room? (and don’t tell me it’s “art”, because it’s just not).

  • Serolf Divad

    I always suspected it was a bad idea to spend 6 years in graduate school, and two years writing a dissertation in order to become a plumber. Now, thanks to the Daily Caller, I know!

  • Msgr_Moment

    Quare cum porcus ducere possit laridum gratis?

  • JohnBull

    What is the salary for a hot-tempered, dimwitted Republican goon who just thinks he’s a plumber?

    • Sam Hain

      Yout alkin bout my boy Joe the Plumber who isn’t really named Joe and isn’t really a plumber?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      The sky’s grift’s the limit!

  • deanbooth

    Professional Republican liars make a shit ton more money. For lying.

    • cousin itt

      True that.

    • Blank Ron

      It was said by someone that the truth is priceless. I think the word they meant to use was ‘valueless.’

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Meanwhile a professor of conservative climate denial rakes in a cool $1.2 mil for writing a few papers and testifying before Congress.

  • glennisw

    Sigh. There are also fewer area, ethnic, cultural, gender and other studies professors, relative to professors in other categories (why does the study not have general humanities listed? Where are the English majors?), so even one or two superstars AKA Henry Louis Gates or Camille (ugh!) Paglia, are going to skew the average more than in a field with more people.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Plus, they’re far more likely to have ethnic/culture/gender studies departments in expensive, coastal regions where NO plumber makes a mere $52k.

  • cousin itt

    Tucker really shouldn’t go running off his mouth holding scissoring in his mind.

  • MrBlobfish

    This must be one of those 67 Big Boob Nightmares I keep reading about.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Fuk that – what do university administrators make?…

    • Spotts1701

      Less than the sportsball coaches.

  • glennisw

    105K is the “lap of luxury,” eh? I guess Senior Administrative Analysts, Administrators, Budget Analysts also live in the lap of luxury. Dudes at Daily Caller should really look at some job Class specifications sometime.

  • MrBlobfish

    Kappa Delta Caller

  • Wild Cat

    If you think they’re outraged now, wait until they see the new Andrea Dworkin $3 coins . . .

  • Callyson

    I feel like slamming my head against the wall several times–how bad can that Daily Caller link be?

    This $113,379 salary earned by gender studies and ethnic studies profs puts the professors in the top 17 percent nationally.

    By way of comparison, anyone with a yearly salary of $294,000 in Indiana lives in the top one percent of all income earners.

    WTF does Indiana have to do with this? Good qiuestion–the link never clarifies why it raises that point.

    Despite the perpetual shrinkage of many U.S. law schools, law professors still continue to rake in the most dough among America’s professoriate. Full professors at law schools average an annual salary of $143,509.

    But it’s those women’s libbers who are the problem…

    http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/What-Are-You-Stupid-Robert-De-Niro-In-Goodfellas.gif

    • Jared James

      Look, those are all numbers, man. It’s not like we can accuse the Daily Caller of being deficient with facts, because every one of those is a FACT.

      That the facts share no logical relationship to one another, and are strung together to slightly resemble a coherent argument in an apparent attempt to deceive the reader, is completely irrelevant and misses the point that Obama is a Muslin Socialist Facsist.

  • Callyson

    Tell me, ethicsalarms.com linky, is Eric Owens a tad challenged when it comes to ethics in education?

    Why it is hard to grasp the concept that a school teacher seducing and having sex with an underage student is a despicable and harmful crime, and not some sort of male fantasy come true, I cannot conceive. Our education system consistently fails at conveying values and knowledge, but the fact that public schools are too often hunting grounds for sexual predators seeking to use their positions and power to turn kids into living, breathing sex toys is, you know, kind of cute and titillating to people like Eric Owens, laughably called the “Education Editor” at the Daily Caller.

    Now he has offered a slide show of “This year’s hottest teachers who allegedly got busy with their students,” because what always concerns us about criminals, rapists and sex offenders is how hot they are.

    Yeah, that’s the guy to listen to about how our children should be educated…

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–Eoj3Qedb–/cnglh9dmgx17wnvrbw3q.gif

  • onedollarjuana

    CEO’s are conspicuously absent from their list of comparative professions.

    • Blank Ron

      That’s because being a CEO isn’t a profession, it’s a Calling.

  • Ryan Denniston

    We can haz wingnut studez?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors
      • Ryan Denniston

        Sweet! I had a few hours of my day where I was not reading blogs and my RSS feed. Consider those toast!

        • sharculese

          Exploring the Righwing Blogosphere is sadly defunct (budget cuts or some such.) Roy still does it for free here, though: http://alicublog.blogspot.com/

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Aaron Schock?

      Wait… Freudian slip of the eyes. Carry on…

  • OneYieldRegular

    Says an organization that could seriously use a bit of education in gender and ethnic studies.

  • Sam Hain

    I have the solution, no minimum wage…I’m done here and going to the Bachman’s for dinner.

  • OneYieldRegular

    The Internets say that Tucker Carlson’s net worth is around $8 million. Why didn’t he compare that figure to the net worth of the average firefighter?

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      8 goddamn million for this fucking jagoff? Eight?
      That’s it. I’ve had it. More to the point, we’ve arrived at my price point. Sorry, but from now on it’s, “Fuck off you stoopid Demoncrats. I want my country back!” all the time. Now where is my money?

    • Blank Ron

      Maybe he doesn’t want all those firefighters quitting and going after his job?

    • elpinche

      In reality, Tucker’s net worth is equal to a bag of dog shit.

  • Shibusa

    Tomorrow on The Daily Caller: “Why in the name of all that is holy do we have Women’s Studies but not Men’s Studies?”

    • H0mer0

      They already do; it’s called U.S. and World History.
      Does the Daily Caller take into account the “publish or perish” sword of Damocles that they work under?

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Now Kaili, reading is hard. Numbers are hard. And when you combine them and rely on the folks at Daily Caller to figure out that numbers are different and that some are larger than others, well … they haven’t all read Principia Mathematica, so won’t know that 1 is greater than 0 and that 2 is greater than 1 and so on. Really. Geeze, being kind of hard on them aren’t you?

    • mtn_philosoph

      Math is hard. Let’s go shopping.

  • Guest

    professors with lady parts? unpossible! how would they have time to be barefoot and pregnant?

    • Spotts1701

      Sabbaticals. Duh.

    • O4FSake

      They have time on the weekend when they are home cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and other wimmen chores.

  • Obviously, the problem is that university professor don’t make enough money. If they did, Daily Caller would be all over defending them the same way they do the Walton family.

    • retiredeng

      They don’t make enough money to be big GOP donors. That’s the catch.

  • Poly_Ester

    Let’s recalibrate. Tucker earns how much?

  • Lefty Frizzell

    I’d like to see where Tucker C fits on the same usefulness/salary graph

    • Baby_Raptor

      The graph doesn’t have a negative option low enough.

    • TheBidenator

      Probably on the same level as the nutritional content of Swanson pot pies…

  • RoyalUglyDude

    It should comfort them to know that women with PhDs still make less than their male counterparts in the same fields. So, all is right in the world, eh guys?

    • Baby_Raptor

      I think the problem is that females are getting paid at all.

    • O4FSake

      Women get paid less because they steal those good jobs from men.

  • Incoming Ham

    oh them ladybrains….

  • TheBidenator

    I’m no big city lawyer :pulls on suspenders: but it seems to me the problem is these ethnic studies professors aren’t inheritors of vast wealth. If they were the Daily Caller would defend every single dollar they ‘earn’ while laying around the pool based upon their birthright of surviving the trip out of the birth canal.

  • jamsie

    What sort of “studies” program would find that Tucker Carlson should have been flash frozen at birth then dumped into the void?

    • Akira Bear

      Seconded.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      AOT,K

  • SadDemInTex

    It is not just the ladeez he fears…it is the smart AND educated ladeez. Ladeez who need to make sammichs shouldn’t be making minumum wage let alone real cash.

  • Portia McGonagal

    So the problem is, the revered free market pays different professions differently and works the way they keep revering it to work. Is that it?

    • mtn_philosoph

      Correct. Such is life in Obama’s America.

  • calliecallie

    I don’t understand why today’s youth need to be taught to study genders. I thought that’s what they did every weekend at the bar.

    • mtn_philosoph

      I used to try to get in as much as possible during study hall.

  • Akira Bear

    “By way of comparison, a typical American firefighter earns $48,270 per year. Plumbers make $52,390. Stonemasons make $39,990. Boilermakers make $57,920.” What Lying Little Tucker Carlson, Perennial Adolescent, forgot to mention is that his political party is responsible for those abysmal salaries.

    • mush57

      And the Republicans begrudge even those wages because of “Union thugs”.

  • Craig Gooding

    I’m not sure what the salaries of full professors are supposed to prove. Have there been any full professors of anything hired in the last 10 years? Most universities now only “hire” adjunct faculty who get paid piecework, like they’re working at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.

    • mush57

      As someone who has been an adjunct for over 20 years (I had a full time job elsewhere) My University just lost two in my department to retirement. They replaced them with one Assistant Prof and an adjunct. I replaced a full timer who left for better wages in industry.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    No complaints about what professional liars get paid at Faux News?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Hmmmm…. I should consider teaching gender studies.
    As a Penile-American, I should expect to get paid about $135,000, right?

  • retiredeng

    Are there any intelligent women working at The Daily Caller?

  • Paperless Tiger

    If they think smart people are getting paid too much, could they maybe raise the pay rate for stupid? Asking for a friend.

  • Latino Bacon? How dare you!

  • Me not sure

    I mean! It’s not like femanism is a thing.

  • thaimoss

    Some good additional information in here. Would have been a useful contribution (more like a useful and helpful rebuttal, actually) if it wasn’t such a screed and so full of derision.

  • Ohne Grausamkeit, kein Fest

    Love, LOVE that pic! Yes, we need some professor ladies who dress like that. Had a debate this weekend whether there was ever any professor who looked and dressed like the Julianne Moore character in Still Alice. I said not. But maybe all wimmenz professors should pick a day and wear tiaras and chihuahuas, you know, for fun.

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