SHARE

Haha, 'COORS'

Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.)

Our Star Deletion of the week goes to “Mike,” who was kissed by the Banhammer of Loving Correction after a really tiresome stream of repetitive libertarian-inflected comments on our story about Richard Mack, the “Constitutional Sheriff” who didn’t bother getting health insurance because he’s a self-employed rabble-rouser, and didn’t sign up for insurance through Obamacare because Tyranny. But now that he and his wife have serious healthcare issues, they’ve asked for donations, and are getting quite a few from bleeding-heart liberals (who are urging him to use the money to buy insurance on the ACA exchange).

Mike wanted us to know that this is only right and just, because individual giving is admirable but taxation is theft, even if the tax-based system lowers costs and improves healthcare for more people, because what didn’t you idiots understand about FREEDOM? We won’t bring you all of his brilliance, because you can find it on pretty much any libertarian website anywhere. But here’s a sampling; most of them posted as replies to other comments (which Wonkette does not allow). Let’s start off with some First Principles:

  • Let me try to explain this as simply as I can.
    I force you to pay for my medical care against your will: BAD

    I ask for help and you voluntarily contribute to my medical care: GOOD

    Given the difference between the way Jerry Lewis raises money for those in need and the way Barack Obama does, I’ll take Jerry any day.

  • There are two ways to get someone to do something for you, voluntarily or by force. Everyone here seems to think force is OK, Mack does not. If he signed up for ACA you’d all be calling him a hypocrite right now.

    Constitutional sheriff + unconstitutional mandate = not playing your game.

OK, buddy, if you’re taking Jerry Lewis, then could you convince him to release The Day the Clown Cried? It needs to be seen. And if Richard Mack bought insurance through Obamacare, we wouldn’t call him a hypocrite — we’d call him slightly smarter than he used to be.

Ah, but what about the social contract? To live in a complex technological society where some will inevitably not be able to get famous enough that a GoFundMe campaign will pay for their dialysis, isn’t healthcare just one more benefit of that social compact, like roads, education, the Internet? Don’t be such a simpleton! Taxation is force, which is immoral!

  • Libertarians don’t want society’s “benefits”, they largely want to be left alone. You really need to educate yourself on the topic before spouting off.
  • Enjoy them? I pay for them. More than they should cost and against my will. I’ll be happy when we turn all of them off that government has no delegated authority to engage in.
  • Just because you happen to like what government does for you, that doesn’t mean everyone does. Just because you are OK with them exceeding their delegated authority, doesn’t mean everyone is.

    “The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it.”
    –John Hay:

Ultimately, Mike gets to the true Libertarian understanding of the social contract: There is none, only a lot of individual transactions:

  • I’m happy to pay the cost of civilization to those who’s products and services I choose to take advantage of. What I object to is being forced to pay for things I don’t want or need.

Needless to say, there’s the mandatory fetishizing of the Founding Fathers, who conveniently all agree with Libertarians because they ghostwrote Ayn Rand:

  • We started off free. We made a horrible detour into tyranny then along came the United States and we moved back in the direction of freedom. We would continue making progress in that direction if folks would quit using the government’s monopoly on the use of force to impose their will on others.

Will you be surprised that Mike is unimpressed that the Supreme Court said that the ACA was constitutional? That is because the Supreme Court itself has been acting unconstitutionally since 1803:

  • Nice try. The Constitution does not empower the Supreme Court with judicial review, that assumption of authority was made by the court itself in Hylton v. United States (1796) and asserted formally in Marbury v. Madison (1803).

    Assumptions of inferred power are not Constitutional.

Oh, come now, don’t pretend you didn’t see that one coming. We bet you couldn’t have predicted this, either: Among the few personal details Mike shared with us in his brief visit, we learned that he has “a degree in engineering” and has “been a professional in the aerospace industry for almost 30 years.” Also, he is a member of MENSA, so you just stop calling him dumb, will you?

“ConservativeFactCheck” shared some similar sentiments on the same piece, albeit at mercifully less length:

if I can offer an alternate view… this is a big-picture item. ObamaCare may help people on an individual level, but at the cost of everybody’s freedom.

Also… Sheriff Mack is getting the help he needs. It’s not really irony; it shows that people can opt not to get health insurance and still get the help they need.

See? It’s easy! All you have to do to get adequate healthcare in this country is to become infamous for advocating violence against elected authority, set up a GoFundMe, and people will throw money at you like crazy. If you aren’t especially good at getting on national TV for suggesting that the women and children get shot first, then you may have a tougher row to hoe, but those are the breaks.

On a totally different topic, someone with the Moniker “BigFurHat” didn’t cotton to being told that Republicans need to “own” their loony wing — the Glenn Becks, the Alex Joneses, the creationists and all. It was in a thread about James O’Keefe, but by then, no, O’Keefe wasn’t even under discussion. BigFurHat was OK with “owning” creationists, because they’re good people, unlike all liberals everywhere:

What am I owning??? Me monkey boy, is owning what? Religious people. How terrible that I have to own that.

Now own this:

The left is populated by felons, illiterates and illegals, all of which are parasitical.

Care to own that?

Why does the left insist they are made up entirely of intellectuals?

Why do they forget about their core constituency, which is largely people whose 3rd language is English, drop-outs, and the incarcerated.

Own it.

Damn, they’re on to us. Maybe we’d better rethink holding our meetings at the Convicted Parasites ESL Tutoring Club.

And we finally got a visit from a follower of the Former Stupidest Man on the Internet, not that you could have guessed from her username, “For My Liberty.” Or from the all-caps. For My Liberty didn’t much care for our piece on a PPP poll showing that a lot of Republicans believe some pretty weird shit, such as the majority of Republicans who liked the idea of establishing Christianity as the national religion. WELL! Even though neither our piece nor the PPP poll actually mentioned the widespread belief that Obama is a Muslim, For My Liberty was pretty ticked off that we covered up the TRU TRUTH:

To the DUMB ASS Author of this piece…TYPICAL LIBERAL BULLSHIT—.TELL ALL THE FACTS!!! MAJORITY OF DEMS think the POS isn’t a “Christian” either!! Guess that makes THEM “Idiots” and “Dumber than a hammer” too??? http://www.thegatewaypundit.com…

Well SHAME ON US for not including the results of a wholly different survey in an article that wasn’t about that topic! Then again, both the Wonkette piece and the Gateway Pundit piece have “Shock” in the headline, so maybe For My Liberty thought that both articles were reporting on the respected work of the Shock Polling organization. And for what it’s worth, that other survey, from 2014, showed that 45% of Democrats said that Obama was “Christian,” while 17% thought he was “spiritual” and 26% answered “I don’t know.” The real news in the survey, of course, was that 54% of Republicans believe Obama is Muslim — and only 10% of the Democrats surveyed thought that. The researcher also had some interesting thoughts about how the phrasing of the question led to some very different results from other polls, so while the Gateway Pundit story was garbage, the WaPo piece it was taken from was actually worth a read. So thanks, idiot who’s dumber than a bag of hammers!

Still, we’ve learned our lesson. Whenever we report on a poll from here on in, we’ll make darn sure we scour the web for some results on a completely unrelated topic from a poll conducted by other researchers.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • FlownOver

    The Republican/”libertarian” “Repeal and replace” plan:

    HEY LAYDEEE!!!!!!

    • memzilla

      Needs moar glavin!

    • memzilla

      Needs moar glavin!

  • memzilla

    “Commenter Makes Insipid Vacuous Remark — You Won’t Believe What Happens Next!”

    • sw19womble

      Banhammer?

    • Nounverb911

      Wonkette viciously makes fun of him/her/it?

      • Blank Ron

        He said ‘WON’T believe’.

  • SmokinGood

    Leave it to the Tea Party to have learned absolutely nothing—nothing—from the last, oh, say, 400 years of history.

    • weejee

      Not 6,000 years, so it would correspond to the dawn of creation?

      • sosuume

        It’s never dawned on them. About anything. Ever.

      • Nounverb911

        Wasn’t that a song in “Hair?”

        Nevermind, that was “The age of Aquarius”.

        • weejee

          Aeroplane’s Crown of Creation?

        • weejee

          Aeroplane’s Crown of Creation?

        • retiredeng

          “The Age of Aquarius?”
          “This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.”

          • willi0000000

            and all this time i thought it was ‘the age of aquariums’

            [celebrating my folks purchase of a new 50 gallon one]

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    Libertarians represent the logical endpoint of capitalist Amerikkka.
    The Gadsden flag needs to be replaced or supplemented at least with the slogan of all of these greedheads – I got mine, FUCK you.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      What these fuckers fail to realize is that in their libertardian utopia the “I got mine” part also means you’ve got to defend it against those who want it. They’re ammosexual fantasies notwithstanding, they’d shit their pants if they lived in a place like Somalia.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Oh good, a simpleton trying to teach us something simple.

  • sw19womble

    These fucknuts do understand that ACA isn’t socialised single-payer, right? It’s actually an improvement on the market system to make things more affordable for all.
    Oops, I forgot. Obamacare = Bad. Romneycare (aka Affordable Care Act) = Good.

    I wonder why that is?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Regulating interstate commerce is the new slavery.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Regulating interstate commerce is the new slavery.

      • sw19womble

        The Tea Party cultists seem strangely quiet when it comes to fighting for the rights of gay marriage and legalising marijuana.
        It’s almost as if they get their memos from a centralised HQ, which may or may not share offices with a Koch Brothers subsidiary.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Interstate corporations count as 3/5 of a person?

        • Nounverb911

          5/3’s.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Presidenting while blah.

    • JustPixelz

      The previous health care system was socialism: The costs for who can’t or refuse to pay are absorbed by the economy at large through higher costs and bankruptcy.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    You don’t see us going over and shitting on their credenzas, do you? Well, actually we can’t as it is typically the other thing up on blocks outside their double-wides.

  • Toomush_Infer

    It’s not just Obamacare takin’ away our freedums – how about roads, firefighters, local police, Center for Disease Control, & all that edumacashun stuff, to name a few…..NOAA, army stuff….all fukin’ with our freedums!….

    • JustPixelz

      In the USA, police, firefighters and military are socialist institutions. Funny, none of the wingnuts complain about that.

  • Toomush_Infer

    It’s not just Obamacare takin’ away our freedums – how about roads, firefighters, local police, Center for Disease Control, & all that edumacashun stuff, to name a few…..NOAA, army stuff….all fukin’ with our freedums!….

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’m glad these slanderers are banned — I, for one, will not condone people calling my atheist, Nazi, Stalinist, Indonesian-Kenyan, power-grabbing, anticolonialist, homosexual, crackhead, terrorist president a Muslim.

  • SmokinGood

    Dear Tea Party,
    Please leave. The country I mean. You clearly don’t like what is going on here, and there are many places on the planet where you can go in order to be subject to less taxes and government intrusion into your lives. Since you seem to be, almost to a man, relatively wealthy white dude-bros, this is certainly within your power to do, and the tyrannical American government will not stop you. Your money and white man status will also make it quite easy to acquire citizenship any number of other places. This course of action also has the benefit of having a great deal of historical precedent across many ages and locales.

    However, in the final accounting there is only really one argument that is needed. Emigrating is something that you, as a sovereign individual, can do. All by yourself, you can radically alter your system of government. You do not need the help or approval of even one other person to do this. It is, inarguably, the ultimate expression of individual will with respect to politics which does not require one to risk one’s own skin in open revolt against the state.

    Now you have probably already heard it suggested that you move to Somalia, but let me also inform you of a few other options, which you may be less familiar with. Rest assured, that the government will be the least of your problems in any of them: The Sudan (Its in Africa), The Democratic Republic of Congo (I know, I know, “Democratic”), The Central African Republic (No Democrats!), South Sudan (for you Southrons), Yemen (It’s a dry heat), or Afghanistan (you can start a successful poppy plantation, just like you’ve always wanted). In the interests of brevity I will stop here, but rest assured there are many more options available in various regions of the world.

    Yours in literacy,
    SmokinGood

  • weejee

    Also, he is a member of MENSA, so you just stop calling him dumb, will you?

    Never, ever hire a MENSA to work on restoring a car. A 6-month job will turn into a 16 year nightmare. They do do good work but the problem is that a gnat has an infinity moar attention span.

    • retiredeng

      Most of the MENSA members I’ve known have a distinct lack of plain common sense.
      And they also seem to think that all non members actually tried to join and failed.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I knew a MENSA member once. He really did live in his parents’ basement and worked as a clerk in the mailroom of a large insurance company.

    • arrrghle

      As an actual (but nonpracticing) Mensan I can attest to this. There’s a reason three billion years of evolution did not settle on 140 as the optimum human IQ.

  • chascates

    How many Intense Debate commenters didn’t make the jump into Disquis?

    • Zippy

      AOT, K

      (oh, waIt)

    • Nounverb911

      Spanky2B?
      Barb?

  • Beaumarchais?

    How could anyone have contempt for “people whose 3rd language is English,” considering how hard it is for most people to master two, and how often that teabaggers struggle with just one?

    • Calton

      Reminds me of that old Canadian joke:

      What do you call people who speak two languages? Bilingual.
      What do you call people who speak one language? American.

  • Callyson

    Libertarians don’t want society’s “benefits”, they largely want to be left alone.

    When your house is on fire, you’ll turn away the fire department and put out the flame with your garden hose?

    When you need to travel cross-country, you’ll eschew the interstate and carve out your own roads?

    When you want something to eat, you’ll get your food not from the overly-regulated food companies, but from the guy who cut up your salad and your then-raw chicken meat on the same cutting board?

    OK then…

    • sw19womble

      Minarchism FTW! ;)

    • retiredeng

      A “real” libertarian would go off the grid and become a subsistence farmer in some wilderness. Why they don’t is a mystery.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        It requires knowing how to do things other than post comments on a blog.

      • To be serious for a moment, libertarians fully embrace all the conveniences we live with every day. They just think that, if the government were to vanish, all those conveniences would quickly reappear because of The Market. Their ideology depends on pretending that people are good at rational, long-term thought; that people are deeply, accurately informed about everything going on around them; that honesty in business dealings will be rewarded; and that representative government is an outside entity imposed on people, rather than an outgrowth of the same forces that drive The Market.

        That’s a lot of pretending.

        • retiredeng

          Children can pretend. Adults don’t get to fantasize about the perfect world. Those who do are not to be taken seriously.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Cally. I’ve learned that the looneytarians are simply freeloaders. They want and expect all the benefits, they just don’t want to pay for them.

      • When pressed, they can rarely identify most of those benefits, because they’re such an integral part of daily life.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Cally. I’ve learned that the looneytarians are simply freeloaders. They want and expect all the benefits, they just don’t want to pay for them.

    • Blank Ron

      He can’t put out the fire with a garden hose because the municipality supplies his water.
      He’s gonna need a LOT of spit.

    • He’d better only use the water that’s found directly under his property, not the big communal supply. That would be theft!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      He’d be in a pickle if he tried to put the fire out with his garden hose. That water comes from the hated government and their illegal taxes. All he could do is watch it burn, then take his mighty axe into the forest to fell a few trees to rebuild.

      • willi0000000

        oops . . . the forest burned down because of the fire started in the Libertarian’s house . . . the house built without consulting the electric code . . . and the plumbing code regarding gas piping.

  • Callyson

    “The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it.”–John Hay

    And I guess the evils of poor grammar are rarely seen by libertarians…

      • retiredeng

        Surprisingly, “or” isn’t misspelled.

        • sw19womble

          Curiously enough, “Tranny” was spelt right. They mispelled “NOT” and mistook question marks for exclamashuns.

          • retiredeng

            Oddly, I didn’t understand it at all then. It’s gibberish if the intention wasn’t “liberty or tyranny.”

          • weejee

            Rocky reels in horror.

        • sw19womble

          Curiously enough, “Tranny” was spelt right. They mispelled “NOT” and mistook question marks for exclamashuns.

        • “Libetyor” is Swedish, I think.

      • retiredeng

        Surprisingly, “or” isn’t misspelled.

      • Msgr_Moment

        The man who shot Libety Valance…..
        ….is now wanted for a hate crime.

      • Msgr_Moment

        The man who shot Libety Valance…..
        ….is now wanted for a hate crime.

      • Blank Ron

        That reminds me, I need to add some fluid to the C6 in my F100. Happily, though, I had the libety serviced back in the Fall.

      • m3bosha

        Who wouldn’t choose tranny? Those libety lovers are such killjoys!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Looks like someone’s breaking ground on a new gay bar.

  • deanbooth

    I’m sure if Mike got hit by a car whose driver had no insurance, he wouldn’t complain at all. “FREEDOARRRRRRRRGH!”

    • He probably wouldn’t. His own insurance would still cover him out of the pool of money that’s there because the government requires drivers to buy insurance, and most of them do.

      Unless, of course, he didn’t bother to get insurance himself, because of ideology/stupidity. So I see your point.

  • Callyson

    Me monkey boy, is owning what?

    Yeah, if you wrote this sentence you are really not in a position to call other people illiterate, BigFurHat…

  • chascates

    If they don’t like the postings here they should go back to hanging at Stormfront.

  • Callyson

    And I love how the self-proclaimed defenders of FREEDOM!!! throw a temper tantrum when Wonkette asserts its freedom not to publish comments they don’t care for…

    • SmokinGood

      Freedom is for me and not for thee. (That’s called tyranny duh.)

  • Callyson

    And I love how the self-proclaimed defenders of FREEDOM!!! throw a temper tantrum when Wonkette asserts its freedom not to publish comments they don’t care for…

  • Zippy

    Dok, you ban hammered Mike? I had so hoped he had finally taken my advice to go Galt and headed off into the sunset on his faithful libertarian steed (they never go Galt because they’re all a bunch of hypocrites and cowards. They’ll bitch and whine all day long, but when push comes to shove none of them will give up all the sweet perks that slavery theft a few measly tax dollars buys)

    • doktorzoom

      Actually, Shy’s been doing most of the banhammering, and doing it with brio.

      • Nounverb911

        Shy gets to play with toy trains all day?
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZpVA–WjSs

        • doktorzoom

          Who wouldn’t love that?

      • Steverino247

        I prefer that it be done with vigor.

      • Zippy

        Ha! I know, he got one so fast that I was toying with the other night that I couldn’t even post my reply before they went ‘poof!’. He said something about being grumpy because he hasn’t been feeling well and “damned if I’m going to put up with these fucking fools”

        (I might have paraphrased that last part)

        Also too, King? ROFL

    • doktorzoom

      Actually, Shy’s been doing most of the banhammering, and doing it with brio.

    • kdez

      Wouldn’t a libertarian steed just buck him off into the nearest ditch? Libertarianism only works if your horse/mom/neighbors/fellow-citizens are NOT Libertarian.

  • Zippy

    Dok, you ban hammered Mike? I had so hoped he had finally taken my advice to go Galt and headed off into the sunset on his faithful libertarian steed (they never go Galt because they’re all a bunch of hypocrites and cowards. They’ll bitch and whine all day long, but when push comes to shove none of them will give up all the sweet perks that slavery theft a few measly tax dollars buys)

  • You speeled ‘common tater’ rong, D.Z.
    ~

  • Ambignostic

    Mike’s got his, fuck us.

  • JustPixelz

    he is a member of MENSA,

    Dok or the guy misspelled DENSA.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      DERPSA. Just because you are blessed with a high IQ does not mean you know how to actually use your brain to think.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      DERPSA. Just because you are blessed with a high IQ does not mean you know how to actually use your brain to think.

      • Zippy

        DERPSA- like DARPA but none of the cool explosions

  • RoyalUglyDude

    a professional in the aerospace industry for almost 30 years

    Some baggage handlers have lots of opinions on things.

    • Nounverb911

      More like “Aircraft Inflight Disposal Unit Blue Water Handler”.

      • sw19womble

        I thought they just jettisoned them over Nebraska?

        • sw19womble

          n.b. I meant the blue water, not teabaggers. ;)

          • Grokenstein

            Still, it’s not a bad idea.
            Wiiiiiiiiiiiiith vohhhhhhhhhhtes.

        • Nounverb911

          Then Nebraska would be a “blue” state?

        • Nounverb911

          Then Nebraska would be a “blue” state?

        • doktorzoom

          That’s why they station all the anti- ICBM missiles there.

          • Calton

            “ICBM”

            I see what you did there.

      • sw19womble

        I thought they just jettisoned them over Nebraska?

    • Nounverb911

      More like “Aircraft Inflight Disposal Unit Blue Water Handler”.

    • Grokenstein

      I’m a baggage handler with a lot of opinions on things. But I’ve never claimed to be in the aerospace industry. #notallbaggagehandlers

      • RoyalUglyDude

        You’re one of the good ones.

        • Grokenstein

          That can’t be right! I’m still alive!

      • RoyalUglyDude

        You’re one of the good ones.

      • cousin itt

        What wasn’t high-larious about this old commercial?

      • Bill Slider

        Quick, redo your resume.

  • JustPixelz

    Why does the left insist they are made up entirely of intellectuals?

    From BigFurHat’s perspective, it certainly must seem like the left is made up entirely of intellectuals.

  • JustPixelz

    Why does the left insist they are made up entirely of intellectuals?

    From BigFurHat’s perspective, it certainly must seem like the left is made up entirely of intellectuals.

  • thebeatgoeson

    My cousin and her husband are both MENSA members. She teaches Spanish and has a doctorate in Scottish Dance (is that really a thing?!) He is an underemployed physicist who does taxes. They had a late in life child as an experiment to see how smart it could be. They ended up with a socially awkward kid who has Asperger’s and other issues. At least I doubt they are Libertarian.

    • Biff52

      How do they feel about vaccines?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I love it when the derptard shit throwing monkeys sling poo about the evils of government, ON THE INTERWEBS SYSTEM THAT WAS CREATED BY THE US GOVERNMENT. LOLOLLOL. Why do I suspect he was educated at a public university, although he seems to have missed American history class the day they discussed the Whiskey Rebellion when THE founding father took the army out to Pennsylvania for the express purpose of crushing a tax protest movement. And, if he he is “aerospace”, bet he probably works for a company that makes most of its profit on cost plus contracts building airplanes for the government or for business subsidized by government? I would never be so impolite as to call him a hypocrite, but he is.

    • retiredeng

      It’s like the Internet was pooped out of unicorns or something.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I love it when the derptard shit throwing monkeys sling poo about the evils of government, ON THE INTERWEBS SYSTEM THAT WAS CREATED BY THE US GOVERNMENT. LOLOLLOL. Why do I suspect he was educated at a public university, although he seems to have missed American history class the day they discussed the Whiskey Rebellion when THE founding father took the army out to Pennsylvania for the express purpose of crushing a tax protest movement. And, if he he is “aerospace”, bet he probably works for a company that makes most of its profit on cost plus contracts building airplanes for the government or for business subsidized by government? I would never be so impolite as to call him a hypocrite, but he is.

  • cousin itt

    At times, I feel for folks who need a bibble or a constitution or a dictator or a snake oil potion or a prophet with which to guide their lives through a complicated universe. Hey, it’s easy to blame your existential woes on everyone and everything other than your own misguided and ill-informed mental constructs. It’s easier and more interesting to go through life assuming your own head is up your butt and then be surprised when you find out that maybe, on this issue or that math problem, you have a head-free butt for a change.

    • sw19womble

      Agreed. I have enough trouble with the ‘meaning’ of the “non-aggression principle”, without invisible sky fairies and how a bunch of people living in the desert thought they might want me to act, thousands of years later. :/

  • JustPixelz

    “it shows that people can opt not to get health insurance and still get the help they need

    Nice try “Mike”, but the actual problem is that without the ACA it was the insurance companies opting to not cover people. I could not get coverage at any price due to my age and health status.

    • retiredeng

      Wonder if “Mike” has health insurance.

      • Blank Ron

        I’d say that’s a given.

  • tomamitai

    In my youth I flirted briefly with libertarianism, even going so far as to change my voter registration. I never joined the Libertarian party, though, for the following reasons;

    Firstly, I am a cheapskate, and they wanted some muneez from me to join.

    Secondly, the pledge they require you to sign seems dishonest to me. They want you to say that you “do not believe in or advocate the initiation of force as a means of achieving political or social goals”, but since many libertarians claim that taxation is theft by threat of violence, that means they believe “the state” has already initiated force against them and their declaration is just misdirection designed to lull others into thinking they’re harmless, or even noble proponents of non-violent change like Gandhi or the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr., or even Jesus, also, too!

    Lastly, as well reasoned and thoughtful as many libertarians sometimes seem, at heart they’re either naive clean-cut Hippies who really and truly believe that a just and peaceful society can be formed on a strictly volunteer basis, or they’re assholes who think that the gilded age with its “non-habit forming” heroin cough syrup and child labor and company towns and “whites only” signs on privately owned businesses was the most just society the world has ever known.

    • sw19womble

      Hey! :-o
      :)

    • mailman27

      Just a fancy superstructure built on the foundation of leaving shitty tips.

  • show me someone who’s spent 30 years as a professional in the aerospace industry and I’ll show you someone who depends on taxpayer’s for their income.

    • bobbert

      Concise.

      • glasspusher

        No joke. In a NYer article a few years back, one teabagger complained how the gvt takes his money, and then it turns out he works at the same DoD lab as my bro. TOO. FUNNY.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I spent 32 years working for a state agency. Dealt with more than a few irate customers who pulled the “I’m a taxpayer and pay your salary so I’m your boss” schtick. They never liked to be reminded that I paid state taxes, too, so I guess that makes me my own boss, the only one I had that I’m pretty sure wasn’t an asshole.

        • To paraphrase Oliver Wendell Holmes:

          Taxes? I love paying taxes, with it I buy civilization.

    • dshwa

      Yeah. I have a conservative coworker who was ranting about taxes and government spending the other day. I politely pointed out that the healthcare organization we work for gets 70% of its revenue from Medicare and Medicaid, which meant that 70% of our paycheck was from the government’s spending, which was far more than the amount taken out for taxes. He got awfully quiet after that…

      • ViveLaRes

        I tried that logic on an acquaintance who is a retired police officer. He was railing about having to pay for other people’s healthcare. I pointed out that I am paying for his pension, which allowed him to retire after less than 30 years. I am still working after 35 years in the private sector since did away with pensions years ago. He got really mad and refused to accept the facts that (1) he depends on the government now because (2) for nearly 30 years he was the government.

        • glasspusher

          The mirror, some folks don’t like it being held up to them

  • weejee

    The cotton-headed ninnymuggins runs derp in “BigFurHat”.

    / with apologies and many virtual royalty payments to Fare la Volpe

  • Metadude

    Among the few personal details Mike shared with us in his brief visit, we learned that he has “a degree in engineering” and has “been a professional in the aerospace industry for almost 30 years.” Also, he is a member of MENSA, so you just stop calling him dumb, will you?

    We might also infer that he lives alone, is really into r.c. planes and now drones, and has an impressive WoW profile.

    • janecita

      Lives alone with his two cats.

      • Donna Rail

        But that’s bad?

        • janecita

          Only if you are Mike the Libertarian.

        • glasspusher

          You’d have to ask his cats. I don’t know.

    • glasspusher

      There’s no way I’d be stupid enough to try to get into MENSA

      • Biff52

        They just want your membership dues.

    • Toomush_Infer

      So, if true, Mike has been beholden for thirty years to the federal governmental bodies and taxation system which has made the aerospace industry possible…

    • Guest

      a professional in the aerospace industry for almost 30 years

      So there’s a good chance his entire career has been funded by government contracts.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I’m Guessing Mike makes quite the impression when ordering breakfast.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eREiQhBDIk

  • SnarkOff

    Dear Mike: You’re such an asshole that if you get sick, I will not donate to your healthcare fund. This is precisely why we need a society-wide system in which everybody gets healthcare, even people nobody likes.

  • Poly_Ester

    I should point out that the Founding Fathers tried the libertarian approach. The Continental Congress operated under the Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union. Under these Articles, Congress had no power to tax, relying instead on donations from the several states. The Articles were drafted in 1776, not ratified until 1781, and were replaced by the US Constitution in 1789. Paying taxes was and is mandatory under the US Constitution. The reading of which is apparently beyond the intellectual capabilities of at least one MENSA member.

    • Wombat

      In my experience, a person identifying himself as a MENSA member is generally telling you “I am an asshole of the first order.” It’s a super convenient shorthand, and I have yet to be wrong.

      • Zippy

        Because many, if not most actual members don’t brag about it- it’s usually the twerps who took some “Mensa” test they found in the back of a Readers Digest or some airline mag and think that counts as the same thing.

    • I_Buttle

      Yeah, and as long as we are being a little bit serious about libertatianism: I think it should be said that libertarianism along with monarchy and theocracy are three of the most un-American political philosophies that exist. The reason being that, the writers and adapters of the Constitution attempted to form a government that dispersed power (obviously), libertarians do not acknowlege the existence of it. Of course Trans-Canada et al love this idea (property rights etc. etc.). Libertarians are so naive it is painful to talk to them.

      • sw19womble

        With all due deference, I’ve found socialists just as naive as free-market ideologues… along with marxists, interventionists, federalists, states’ rights, greens….. nobody has the perfect system – which is half the fun of discussing differences of opinion!…. which I know we can’t on here, (see recent change to Disqus – QED)
        So, yeah, I just join in on the 90% of stuff we agree on (like social issues) and politely abstain when things veer towards the murkier waters of macro-economics. :)

        Anyway, snark back on! xx

        • glasspusher

          What?! You’re saying no one system is perfect? I’m shocked, shocked!

          • sw19womble

            That’ll be the 9v battery I wired up to your keyboard while you were distracted by my brave Disqus brethren. :P

          • glasspusher

            Tingly!

        • pstockholm

          Don’t fear the macro-economic murk.

          Yes we Keynes!
          (sorry leaving now)

  • I_Buttle

    Dear Mike, any true Ayn Randian/objectivist would tell that stupid sherriff to fuck off and die ’cause his weakness (whatever, disease, whatever) is not their problem and anybody who would go begging, instead of taking responsibility for themselves deserves to fuck off and die.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    “Marbury vs Madison”. Really takes you back doesn’t it? I suppose it is always necessary these folks offer up the most clownish examples of their “reason” to show the logical example of what we could do if everything were different.

    • SFRealness

      I was pretty impressed by that. Usually they just go back to the Income Tax is UnconstitutionAL! argument and never make it back to Marbury. Fun fact – one of the four justices who decided the case, William Paterson, wasn’t even born in America! He may have been Kenyan! Or possibly Irish.

      • jqheywood

        My favorite Marbury fun fact: the official who failed to deliver the commission to Mr. Marbury was the outgoing Secretary of State, who was none other than one John Marshall, who was at the sametime the new Chief Justice of SCOTUS.

      • I assume they mean “unconstitutional” in the sense that all those amendments added after the first ten don’t count.

    • Mike McCarthy

      Amazing none of the Founding Fathers, all still alive at the time, objected to the outcome of the Marbury.

  • “We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.”

    Who didn’t read that at first and think the last word in the sentence was going to be “showers”?

    • Toomush_Infer

      Dok’s just fishing – she’d take two bitcoins….

      • Zippy

        Dogecoins or GTFO!

    • merl1

      I had to “visit the bathroom” before I read the word showers. I’m glad I did before I saw it was parachutes. That would have ruined everything.

  • janecita

    If English is our third language, wouldn’t that mean that we are fluent in two other languages? I thought that we were supposed to be illiterate.

    • glasspusher

      Well as long as you can speak it, you’re fluent, even if you’re illiterate. (typing for a friend…)

    • Mahousu

      BigFurHat has a point, though. Not all liberals are trilingual, but I will bet that the vast majority of people who are trilingual are liberals.

  • Yehudah ben Shlomo

    “We started off free.”

    Apart from the slaves, obviously.

    • ViveLaRes

      We also started off with a life expectancy of about 35 years.

      • Living in caves and eating lice we picked off each other, also too.

        • Zippy

          you say that like it’s bad thing…

          • OrdinaryJoe

            fried lice. yummm.

  • ViveLaRes

    It has become my goal in life to be called out by a Wonkette deletee who thinks I will burn in hell because of my uneducated socialist views. If only comments were allowed.

  • Incoming Ham

    Who sees a disadvantage in speaking three languages?

    • Bill Slider

      If we converted our language to Arabic, or even French, they wouldn’t have to learn so many.

    • merl1

      Not me. I wish I could speak 3 languages.

    • DahBoner

      I am tri-lingual and love to mix 3 languages in the same sentence for fun!

    • Wonkaholic

      I’m bilingual as far as numbers go. I can read both Arabic and Roman numerals (as long as I’m allowed to use all my fingers and toes).

  • it shows that people can opt not to get health insurance and still get the help they need.

    And all it took was the foresight to become a highly visible, minor political celebrity before he had a heart attack.

    Also, Mack’s GoFundMe is still less than $25,000 after a month. Good luck paying all those hospital bills with that.

    • nmmagyar

      25K? That will almost cover the ambulance ride.

    • blaid droog

      I was smart enough to bypass the heart attack by having a multiple bypass surgery. paid for by that sweet medicare plus a few pickups by aetna. $275,000,I paid not a dime. this guy mack clearly doesn’t know how to game the system.

  • Bill Slider

    What if some of us who do like Obamacare, but think Congress should show there true patriotism and work for free, and that the military should work without pay as well. Would he be OK if we deducted our share of taxes for those costs?

    • Steverino247

      No, as much as you might like the military to go away, we need it to protect us from our foreign policy mistakes of the last, well, since the Crusades in which the United States didn’t even participate.

  • glasspusher

    Since I’m a leftist commie, and therefore illiterate, could someone tell me what this post by Dok said?

  • merl1

    How many people answered “Who gives a rat’s ass” when asked if they thought Obama was a Christian? I can’t have been the only one.

    • But he’s America’s Pope. It’s relevant!

    • sw19womble

      Separation of Chu- ah fuck it.

      • Amy!

        Were you going to say “separation of chuck and steak?”

        • pstockholm

          I think probably chutes and ladders.

    • doktorzoom

      It occurred to me that a fair chunk of the “don’t know” or “spiritual” replies may have come from Dems who wouldn’t want him to be associated with what so much of Christianity, Inc. represents. The WaPo piece notes that the high percentage of Republicans identifying Obama as “Muslim” may have been the result of people

      “cheerleading” — using a survey
      question to express their general dislike of Obama rather than a genuine
      view about his religious faith.

      But, if these results were largely driven by anti-Obama cheerleading, we
      should expect more respondents, especially Republicans, to choose the very unpopular category of “atheist.” Relatively few do so.

      He doesn’t discuss Democrats’ motives in the piece, but I wonder if there’s a similar anti-sectarian cheerleading gong on there.

  • AlanInSF

    “Libertarians don’t want society’s “benefits”, they largely want to be left alone.” And yet you still see them on our roads. Hypocrites!

  • Zippy

    “I have always found it quaint and rather touching that there is a movement [Libertarians] in the US that thinks Americans are not yet selfish enough.”

    ― Christopher Hitchens

    • FeloniousMonk

      It’s too bad he followed the path of most Trotskyists, but he could turn a phrase.

  • JAWs

    “To the DUMB ASS Author of this piece…TYPICAL LIBERAL BULLSHIT—.TELL ALL THE FACTS!!! MAJORITY OF DEMS think the POS isn’t a “Christian” either!! Guess that makes THEM “Idiots” and “Dumber than a hammer” too???”

    This is why Scott Walker wants to stop these type of manipulative irrelevant “gotcha” questions that make the pea-brained all embarrassed. They might accidentally clarify something.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Is there anything funnier that a libertarian proclaiming his freedom and absolute self-reliance on the Internet?

    • DahBoner

      DARPA built the original Internet backbone with sweet, filthy Gum’mint money?

      Why didn’t private enterprise like the Koch brothers do it?

      Hint: Too stupid

  • gedjcj

    tl,dr. sorry. I do sincerely apologize to Dok: I thought i was displaying wonkette cred when I’ve referred to Wonkette as a mommy blog/recipe hub. I completely forgot to mention we are also a Pony Appreciation Society.

    My bad.

    On the other hand, tl,dr, frankly I just don’t care.

  • JAWs

    “Let me try to explain this as simply as I can.
    I force you to pay for my medical care against your will: BAD
    I ask for help and you voluntarily contribute to my medical care: GOOD”

    I DON’T contribute to your medicare and you die: BETTER!

    Incidentally, I find the sherrif situation a microcosm of our actual taxation system where the “blue” states foot a lot of the bill for the red states. Of course Mr Libertarian proved me wrong and donated to Mack’s “End Stupid Now!” fund himself, validating his own surefire medical system, right?

  • DahBoner

    Mike’s employer is forced to pay a minimum wage for his low-to-no skills job against their will: BAD

    Mike stands beside a busy interstate highway exit breathing carbon monocide fumes with a cardboard sign asking for help and you voluntarily contribute to his wages: GOOD

  • Celtic_Gnome

    The Supreme Court has been operating unconstitutionally since 1803. Ohio was admitted to the Union in 1803. Ohio is now one of the major swing states in every presidential election. Coincidence?

    • MOG253

      I think not.

  • jim2011

    Remember when Wonkette allowed replies to comments from threadshitting trolls?
    Pepperidge Farm Remembers …

  • FeloniousMonk

    Dear Mike: “Charity is a cold, grey, loveless thing. If a rich man wants to help the poor, he should pay his taxes gladly, not dole out money on a whim.” Not, apparently, due to Britain’s greatest post-war PM, but true nonetheless.

  • Steve Hyman

    I only recently discovered Wonkette and I was laughing about Mike because I got into a little tete a tete with him myself. Not sure if it was on Wonkette or not but the posts all rang a bell. I have always dreamed of a site that would delete some of the nutjobs. Now I found one that bans them and brags about it. HEAVEN!!!

    • nmmagyar

      Welcome to the best little vile snark mob on the web

    • doktorzoom

      Welcome! And like heaven, this is also a place where nothing, nothing ever happens.

      • Jason M

        I wanna upvote my fingers bloody for quoting the Talking Heads. I also woulda accepted “Heaven Is a Place On Earth”, because I used to have a thing for Belinda Carlisle.

      • Usedtobeyellerdawg

        And someday, if we ever start allowing comments, you can be one with us!

    • alnnc

      Wonkette is new to me also. I was banished from the local television web site here in our state capital and found the website of a nearby station even more slanted to the right. I guess my problem was a result of calling people id_iots (they screened for certain words) when some people responded to article similar to the recent banishment by the UNC Board of Governors of the center on Poverty, Work and Opportunity at UNC Chapel Hill. This program was totally funded by an outside grant and Republicans were criticized in some comments. Then, some id_iot responded he did not see any connection with the GOP. Well, except that the Board is appointed by the Governor and the General Assembly. Both being controlled by the Republican party. So it is nice to see a site where you can call an id_iot an idiot.

  • Shibusa

    Disqus sucks. Really. Can we go back to the old system?

    • 1ucille_bluth1

      I agree. I’m not getting points or nuthin’.

    • actor212

      I miss my big p-ness

      • Wonkaholic

        Disqus is the great P-Ness equalizer.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Is it detachable?

        • actor212

          Why? Does the Mrs need to borrow it?

      • SadDemInTex

        You will always be a big p-ness to me!

        • actor212

          Why, thank you!

          Wait…what?

      • glasspusher

        The cream rises to the top. Please clean up after you do.

    • SnarkOff

      Preach.

  • Iron Monkey

    “54% of Republicans believe Obama is Muslim — and only 10% of the Democrats surveyed thought that.”

    Something really weird about that poll or about that ten percent of Democrats the pollsters talked to.

    • doktorzoom

      I dunno; one basic rule of polling is that 5 to 10 percent of people will say they agree with just about anything.

      • MsAnthropesMr

        I agree with that.

    • Wonkaholic

      10% may have thought he was a Muslim, but it didn’t specify whether or not they had a problem with that. It’so a safe bet that 135% of the Republicans did.

  • We absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome weblog!

    • 1ucille_bluth1

      Will you’re post’s contain lot’s of unnecessary apostrophe’s and incomplete sentences? Awsome!

    • actor212

      Say, are you related to this Nigerian prince that’s been trying to give me munnies?

      There’s a long audition process involving every single staff writer having an in-depth interview with you.

      Bring lube.

    • SnarkOff

      Do you like pony’s?

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Mike “has “been a professional in the aerospace industry for almost 30 years.”

    You mean that industry that would not exist but for GOVERNMENT TAX MONEY???????

    • Wonkaholic

      Ha, shows how much you know. Truth is, NASA has been secretly funded solely from velcro royalties since it was invented by Apollo astronauts in the 1950s.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        I love that tearing sound Velcro makes. I pretend I am tearing Anne Cuntler’s head off. Did I spell her name right? Is it Anne or Ann?

        • Jus_Wonderin

          LOL

  • actor212

    Which part of the “We” in “WE, The People” do libertarians not understand?

    • glasspusher

      To them, “we” is a collection of selfish “me”s

  • ibwilliamsi

    BigFurHat is just jealous because WE have all the parasites, and HE needs a bleeding because he objects to Obummercare.

  • TrufflePig58

    Whose tax dollars pay his sheriff’s salary? Do they get a choice?

  • MOG253

    Thanks for sharing these enlightening comments, such rich food for thought. Meh.

  • SadDemInTex

    Shypixel’s fingers are going to fall off with all the troll deletions.

    Please make the stupid stop, my brain hurts.

  • actor212

    “BigFurHat”

    Please shave your ass, Glenn.

  • CripesAmighty

    Yay! Thanx, Dok! I was sooooo curious to find out what sort of carpet of derpity-doo ‘Guest’ (now, revealed as ‘Mike’) was laying down to be so mercilessly trampled over by all and sundry.
    Ask and (occasionally) Ye Shall Receive.
    Addendum: Meh. Just the usual ‘mineminemine..mememe…’ boilerplate bullshit. Sigh.

Previous articleHappy Birthday, Tea Party! Now Die In A Fire
Next articleThe Weekend Stock Photo Report Will End The Internet As We Know It