Readers may remember that I, Snipy, tried to quit Wonkette last year to go work for hot new conservative music site Big Dawg Music Mafia – “Where Conservative Is Cool.” Alas, the Editrix wooed me into staying here, thus depriving me of the chance to help set up the Big Dawg showcase at CPAC. What a thrill it would have been to work with folksinger extraordinaire Chip Murray and to watch him take the stage with his rousing folk songs about how we’re gonna take back ‘Merica, and probably also “Drugs Stink.”

OK, we gotta be honest. These are some sweet sweet jams.

First there’s a song that is about a conservative Congressman in 1949, Mr. Murray tells us. We must have missed that part of the song, because all we heard are lyrics about all the takers who live on subsidies. Also random high-spirited yelling: “Hell!” “No no! “Please no!” Dude puts his heart and soul into his music for sure. The chorus has us a bit befuddled, though, as he keeps assuring us “we’ve all been here before.” We have? When? Is time a flat circle and we already had Obama as president, or have the takers, like the poor, always been with us?

After literally no applause, Murray launched into his second song about the birthright of freedom and OK we have to come clean. We made it through approximately 45 seconds of that song before our eardrums went on strike. We think it was about freedom and how he loves his neighbors maybe, which is totally a conservative value because liberals hate freedom and their neighbors.

Also, you know this guy’s music is quality because he dressed up for the occasion with a “Stop Common Core” hat, which any self-respecting folk singer would be thrilled to wear.

If you’re not sold on the greatness of Chip Murray yet, you could head over to his site and learn more about how rad he is.

If the world hasn’t heard of Chip Murray yet, they’re going to. With lyrics as powerful as Bob Dylan (yes, that powerful), an earthy, warm, weathered voice that sings about love and life and everything else in between, and wonderful, acoustic, honest production, “Wide Awake” is one of the best albums of this decade. – Bobby Jo Valentine

Yes, lyrics like “Obama’s in the White House now, you’d better grab your honey/God and guns are all we need, let’s let ’em take the money” rival Dylan’s “Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll” for sure. Murray’s site will help you buy his record, just in case you’re rending your garments that you didn’t get to see him at CPAC, so get on that.

[Right Wing Watch/Chip Murray]

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