Oh no! Who let the cat drive the wingnut?We asked you to help Wonkette frenemy Victoria Jackson with her inspiring run for alderthingie of her hometown in Tennessee (not Florida, stupid internet), and you came through! Our winning entry is from Gleem McShineys, and it is titled “V-Jack’s Secretz Revealed.” We were taken by the technical proficiency, as well as the metaphorical eloquence of Ms. Jackson being an empty husk being piloted by a stuffed cat — a veritable Ouroboros of puppetry.

We suppose that in a technical sense, since it lacks any words like “vote” or “alderman” or “Victoria Jackson 2014” it may not actually count as a “campaign poster,” but then, maybe Gleem’s intent was to move beyond those shallow outward trappings and force voters to contemplate the inner workings of America’s political machinery. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Well, we did suggest ponies...Our second-place masterwork comes from iBurl, and is titled “Victoria Jackson Slays,” which plays mellifluously on the imagery of VJack riding a JesusCentaur and slaying the evil dragon of liberalism, as well as calling attention to her career as a funny comedienne, in which she has “slain” many an audience with her humorous japes. Or maybe part of the filename was cut off, we dunno. Its hodgepodge of randomly-assembled symbols and words are a perfect analogue to listening to Victoria Jackson talk.

So classy! title=Perennial photochopper Dean Booth takes 3rd Place with this exercise in Victoriana. Note the li’l Ted Cruz picture on the table to inspire her. A veritable Masterpiece Theater — We Are Amused.

Unfortunate shading on there, eh? And finally, we have our runner-up, “Victoria, Change, Please,” by Jus Wonderin, who we certainly don’t suspect of having just gone to one of those sites that turns any photo into a Shepard Fairey knockoff, no not at all. Why, that would be even less work than making Blingees, of which we didn’t receive a single one, you guys!

Speaking of very little work, those Obamafication websites are really not very good at handling shadows, are they?

Yeah, that's just wrong.

And there you have the exciting contents of our inbox for this contest; instead of telling you are terrible like Rebecca always does (and that is only the caption contests anyway; you are good at photoshopping), we want you to know that we are very pleased by all the entries, but we would have enjoyed having many many more of them, because we know you Terrible Ones are capable of some pretty funny stuff with the graphics and the manipulation and all. All of our winners receive the traditional prize, an “iPhone.”

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He does not actually own a butter hat.

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