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There are no cities in Virginia named for Scootaloo. We checked.Our story yesterday about Glenn Beck’s campaign to make Rush Limbaugh dead and then name roads after him stirred up some butthurt in a fan of “Dr. Beck.” (We totally have to respect his honorary doctorate from Jerry Falwell’s House Of Degrees.) We feel just terrible about that. And so, let us share the plaint of one “sgtkpf,” who takes us to task for our horrible unfairness to one of America’s best minds:

Huh? Maybe the fact that I’m not a regular here explains why I don’t understand half the “words” in this rambling nonsense post… but I doubt it. I have to so though, DOKTOR ZOOM is a true intellectual heavyweight.

Oh please, you capslock-wielding flatterer! How you do go on!

As you may recall, we called attention to Captain Tearful’s lament that Salt Lake City has a road called “Cesar Chavez Blvd.,” and his worries that They are “revising our history every step of the way … Now you tell me what Cesar Chavez Boulevard has to do with Salt Lake City.” But it’s impossible that Beck could mean anything untoward by all that Us and Them stuff. According to “sgtkpf,” Yr Doktor Zoom is just totally off base

because he came up with the genius conclusion “Dr. Beck opposes a street named after a specific Hispanic individual, therefore he HATES ALL BROWN PEOPLE! Q.E.D.!” That’s logic (or logikalliness in DOKTOR ZOOM’s parlance.) So I assume DOKTOR ZOOM will gladly admit he hates black women, since he would oppose a Condaleeza Rice Ave (the first black woman Secretary of State.) … Yeah, that would happen, right?

It’s true. We would vehemently oppose a Condaleeza Rice Avenue, because we think that if you’re going to name a street after someone, you should spell their name right. (Zinged ‘im!) But really, this is trivial. Let’s get to the meat of the argument:

The ultimate point is, there is exactly nothing objectionable about what Dr. Beck said. There is a city named after a still living entertainer in Virginia, and yet DZ is up in arms about the suggestion that a still living entertainer get a street named after him? What a buffoon.

Leaving aside the possibly significant distinction between “up in arms about” and “snickering at,” we would just like to congratulate “sgtkpf” for this brilliant stealth strike on the liberal blogosphere, which left us incapable of getting anything else done today while we tried to figure out what city in Virginia he is talking about. It is driving everyone in the Sekrit Wonkette Chatcave maaaaaad, even Gary, who is from Virginia. Bernadette Petersberg? Harry Dean Staunton? Ed Norton? David Lynchburg? Could he be referring to the failed 2010 effort to rename Strasburg VA after a baseball man? Well played, sir! We are stumped!

Anyway, since Beck’s opposition to Cesar Chavez streets is purely political, we are “colossal hypocrites” for opposing a “Rush Limbaugh Memorial Blvd” merely because we dislike his politics. Except that our real point was that you probably shouldn’t call something a “Memorial Boulevard” if the person it’s named after is, you know, still alive.

Finally, “sgtkpf” would just like us to know he has a bone to pick with a running gag on Saturday Night Live sketches from 1975-77:

P.S. If you’re still not convinced DZ is a moron, linking the authoritarian Francisco Franco to Rush “I’ve made my career out of calling for reduced Government” Limbaugh should do the trick.

We stand corrected. There’s no comparing the two. Now, which one said “wherever I am there will be no Communism”?

UPDATE: Alert Commenter “ranchandsyrup” may very well have cracked the case!

Pardon me, I speak jive wingnut. I’d bet dollars to donuts (and I am a tall husky gentleman so youze knows I likes donuts), he means Chevy Chase, MD.

Mystery probably solved, and Silly Us! We were wracking our brains, thinking that “sgtkpf” actually had the state right!

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