ABORT ABORT ABORTGood times on the ol’ SPAN last night, as Ohio state Treasurer/debate club fetus TOOK IT to Senator Sherrod Brown, and by “took it to” we mean yelled his talking points with awesome macho frowning and stuff. Did you know that Josh Mandel served his country in Iraq? It is true, he did, though how he managed not to take a dose of friendly fire from his fellow troops who must have LOVED him is beyond what our puny mortal brains can understand. We think the first time he mentioned his service was in response to a Muslim fellow asking why he had run anti-Muslim ads against an opponent. The answer to that was “Iraq and ladies rights, don’t we all agree HENGHHH?” Then there was his answer to ladies’ rights HERE (clip not embeddable, FUCK YOU, SPAN!), to which his answer was “I have a wife and a mom! JERBS!” Dude, so suavay.

Anyhoo, it seems Josh Mandel is actually 35 years old, and not his high school’s debate club president who’s TOTALLY GONNA GO TO REGIONALS, so that’s adorable. Also adorable? His SOARING ORATORY when he thundered that “There is a War on Coal, and Barack Obama is its general and Sherrod Brown is one of his main lieutenants!” So we guess you all are the War on Coal’s privates! Thank you for your service.


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