obama's wedding ring from another angleIt’s been nearly…oh, a few days, maybe, since there was an insane conspiracy theory about Barack Obama, so of course there’s another one!

Barack Obama has a wedding ring, and unlike a normal American male, it is slightly fancy with squiggles and shit. Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., has investigated the ring through blurry, pixelated pictures and also consulted noted Islamic ring expert Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”) who says without a doubt that the pictures of the ring are almost entirely certainly Islamic.

Egyptian-born Islamic scholar Mark A. Gabriel, Ph.D., examined photographs of Obama’s ring at WND’s request and concluded that the first half of the Shahada is inscribed on it.

“There can be no doubt that someone wearing the inscription ‘There is no god except Allah’ has a very close connection to Islamic beliefs, the Islamic religion and Islamic society to which this statement is so strongly attached,” Gabriel told WND.

Below, the indisputable pictorial evidence that will convince you beyond a doubt that Obama’s ring…has squiggles on it?

prince ali, mighty is he, ali obama

We don’t know about you, but those Microsoft Paint squiggles lend as much credence to this theory as it actually being true. Look at how closely that weird W looks almost like the Arabic lettering below that’s never translated!

Gabriel believes it would be impossible for Obama not to be aware of what is written on the ring, calling it a “blessed statement in Islam.”

“By wearing this religious statement on one’s hand, it connects the person to Islam,” he said. “It is worn in hopes that Allah’s protections would be with the person, in hopes of gaining favor with Allah.”

He affirmed that Muslim men do wear gold rings, despite prohibitions in Islamic law.

“Though Islamic law prohibits the wearing of gold jewelry by men, it is a widely accepted custom, even in strictly Muslim countries,” he said. “The wearing of gold rings is even more acceptable when it contains a religious message, such as ‘There is no god except Allah.’”

We can’t wait until Corsi and Gabriel can do intense analysis on Obama’s cock ring, which has an engraved picture of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed on it. We’ll volunteer for any help they need with that one!

[World Net Daily]

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  • snowpointsecret

    Wait, Muslims have claimed ownership of cool patterns now? Man, I am WAY out of the loop here.

  • docterry6973

    Proof positive!!!

    If WND, Corsi, and friends actually can turn a profit on peddling this bullshit then why am I working for a living? So to speak.

    • arihaya

      taking money from aging conservative baby boomers is easier than taking lollypop from baby.

    • LibertyLover

      You have a conscience?

      • Esteev

        Is that some kind of grifter knowledge?

  • It says "No More Wire Hangers" I think.

    Or "Eat At Joes"

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      Actually, it says "How to Keep a Moron Busy."

    • kittensdontlie

      Google Arabic translated this as: Kill whitey…just because.

  • Indiepalin

    Wait, isn't that Paul walking barefoot on the cover of the album? What do you suppose THAT means?

    • Corsi wants to hold our hand?

    • The_Lucky_Wife

      It means that Obama, not Yoko, broke up the Beatles.

    • LibertyLover

      The walrus koo koo achooed?

  • mrpuma2u

    This goomba would probably find satanic/muslin messages in a "Where's Waldo?" poster. What an epic douche nozzle.

    • Generation[redacted]

      That's not Waldo, it's Malcom X in a sweater!

  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    That's nothing. The moles on his left arse cheek spell out the entire text of the Monty Python pet shop sketch, in Albanian.

    • HogeyeGrex

      My hovercraft is full of eels.

      • Esteev

        My Hover Round is full of Ensure.

    • Boojum

      It says "Elephant!"

  • mrpuma2u

    The other side of the ring allegedly says "Ain't nothin but a G thang"

  • Look at how closely that weird W looks almost like the Arabic lettering below that’s never translated!

    Why, it almost crosses over like the letters, only not quite completely not at all!

  • proudgrampa

    Oh For. Fuck's. Sake..

  • SmutBoffin

    If you look even closer and apply the ROT26 (twice as secure as ROT 13!) cypher , you will see the sekrit motto of the Bavarian Illuminati


    • HarryButtle

      You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

      • WhatTheHeck

        I feel gyped.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Hurry up, your little brother has to use the bathroom!

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        I can't put my arms down!

    • Crank_Tango

      Only Mitt didn't finger fudge…

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I think these guys have had a little too much ovaltine, if you know what I mean.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      "Son of a BITCH!"

  • Theywontlisten

    Looks like we have a new Overlord of the Rings

  • With regard to men wearing gold, whether it is a ring or anything else, it is not permissible under any circumstances, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade gold for the males of this ummah. He saw a man wearing a ring of gold and he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took if from his hand and said, “Would any one of you take a coal from the fire and hold it in his hand?” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Libaas wa’l-Zeenah, 3897). So it is not permissible for the Muslim male to wear a gold ring. But with regard to rings of silver or any other kind of metal, it is permissible for men to wear them even if they are precious metals.

    With regard to the wedding ring, which is worn on the occasion of marriage, this is not one of the customs of the Muslims.

    Um, yea, this would be a LOT like a Muslim eating pork (which we've seen Obama do) or a Jew eating pork (which happens, but…) or a Christian being civil.

    • savethispatient

      So not only is NOBAMA a muslin, he's a BAD MUSLIN!

    • arihaya

      just like every devout Muslim, Obama owned a home brew and made his own beer

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Also, if a person is eating bacon with something that looks like hebrew lettering on it that's proof that they're actually a Jew.

      • Generation[redacted]

        My bagel looks like the letter "O"

    • anniegetyerfun

      (1) Muhammad was sort of a dick.
      (2) Most Muslim men I know DO wear gold wedding bands; it really depends on what area of the world they hail from. South Asians are a little more fond of gold than others.

      • Negropolis

        South Asians are a little more fond of gold than others.

        Understatement of the year. lol

    • Esteev

      That's what they want you to think!

  • Maybe it says "Corsi is a douchebag" in Farsi.

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    I would like to be among the first of Millions to invite Mr. Corsi and the entire "editorial" staff of WND to examine the squiggles on my ass, and to make a few casual suggestions as to what they may feel free to do while they are down there.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    If I understand the purpose of a cock ring, I doubt Bamz needs one of those. Of course, we all like to ornament our bodies at times, so there's that.

    • I will personally volunteer to inspect Hopey's cock ring for sekrit muzlin writings. For the good of the nation.

  • AlterNewt

    He's really doing a terrible job of being a secret Muslin.

    • docterry6973

      So true. Kenyan father, 'Hussein' as middle name, childhood years in Muslim country, and now a secret decoder ring. He acts as if he has nothing to hide, the crafty Islamofascist.

  • Seems Corsi's angel Gabriel, PhD is piled higher and deeper than a manure lagoon at a major Nebraska feed lot.

    • sullivanst

      Brings to mind a certain chapter of Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them, doesn't it?

      • Gotta call this shit like ya see it.

  • Fairtackle

    I saw a cloud yesterday that could only have been Jerome Corsi PhD having sexual relations with a pig. I think that pretty much says it all.

    • سمعت انه يفجر الماعز, also.

    • docterry6973


    • tessiee


  • owhatever

    Order now and we will rush not one, but two Obama Islam rings to you, for only five easy payments of $19.25 per month. Show your Tea Party friends the needed proof about the Kenyan Mormon.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    expert Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”)

    So he's a doctor like Dr. Dre?

    • anniegetyerfun

      But with less talent.

    • PubOption

      Gabriel? Could he be an angel like Moroni?

      • Esteev

        "Moron" doesn't have an "i" in it.

    • Needs more sick beats imo.

  • Not_So_Much

    I thought it was just a picture of his trouser snake all coiled up?

  • Needs more random squiggles.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Word. I like how the left and right lines on top use the negative/black space to make characters that aren't really there. Amazing what you can do when you just plain make shit up.

  • coolhandnuke

    WND's next crusade is get a noted tree surgeon, cut Obama open and count his rings to determine his true age and Kenyan roots.

  • Detesticle

    These people are like Indiana Jones, if Indiana Jones liked to suck on donkey balls. "Mmm mmm donkey balls. Tasty."

    • Jus_Wonderin

      That is what I was thinking. They are like Shirley Jones, if Shirley Jones liked taking a big dump in the palm of her hand and flinging it at nice people. "Yay! Take my poo, yous!"

  • taylormattd

    They just don't understand the squiggles, because they are written in BLACKETY BLACK (Ebonics).

  • Obama drinks alcohol. Big big big sin in Muslin circles.

    Strangely no wary eyes cast at the white boy Rmoney who doesn't.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      If Mitt Romney is elected he'll ban alcohol because it's against the Mormon faith.

      That's what I heard, anyway.

      • Esteev


    • TigerLaverada

      Interestingly, my son (military, been stationed all over the globe) says the biggest, fanciest and most complete liquor store he's ever seen was in Baghdad — and in the city proper, NOT in the Green Zone where the infidels were living and shopping. I'd say the Muslin prohibition of alcohol is one of those things, like Christian tolerance, that is acknowledged in word but not in deed.

  • ShuCityRefugee

    So I guess anybody who owns an Oriental rug should inspect it for Mooslim images, or expect to be outed as a crypto-Jihadist someday soon.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Well, I'm convinced.

    Also, following this totally flawless logic, I have a silver ring with a Greek key design on it. SO therefore I should be out smearing myself in baklava and feta cheese, drinking ouzo by the gallon, and having copious amounts of Olympic buttsecks before going out and throwing Molotov cocktails at every German car that passes outside my office window.

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      And you didn't invite the rest of us? Bitch.

    • SnarkOff

      You say that like it's a bad thing.

    • YouBetcha

      Don't copy my Saturday night, get your own.

    • As a devoted reader of your comments, I thought all of those were in fact your hobbies.

    • kittensdontlie

      If the ring fits, wear it!

    • docterry6973

      In other words, Wednesday.

    • Stevola

      Shouldn't we all?

  • That ring actually reads "I pity the fool!"

    • HarryButtle

      Needz moar gold chains! And a mohawk.

    • mrpuma2u

      Don't gimme no muslin Koran jibber jabber!!

  • arihaya

    One Ring to rule them all,
    One Ring to find them,
    One Ring to bring them all
    and in the blahness …. bind them

  • pinkocommi

    If these idiots are so offended by Obama's wedding ring, what would they think if they knew about his rainbow-flag cock ring.

    Did I type that out loud? Whoops! My bad!

  • chascates

    It's actually Swahili for 'James Brown is the hardest workin' man in show business'.

    • Steverino247

      GOOD GAWD!

  • sullivanst

    I didn't need further proof that anyone who believes a single word on WND, except possibly the bylines, is a complete fucking moron with no redeeming features, but you went ahead and gave it to me, didn't you?

    I mean seriously, their picture evidence is conclusive proof of one thing in addition to one of two other things. It's certainly conclusive proof that Obama's ring is not engraved with the Shahada, and secondly it's conclusive proof that either the site's ownership is unbelievably stupid, or they're thoroughly dishonest, I mean like zombie Epimenides can't even believe how mendacious they are.

    • rickmaci

      " and secondly it's conclusive proof that either the site's ownership is unbelievably stupid, or they're thoroughly dishonest,"

      Yes and yes.

  • Ringnuts.

    • Radiotherapy


      • Nostrildamus


    • Esteev


  • coolhandnuke

    I thought it was a Mooslim mood ring that turns all blingee gold and squiggly when the wearer wants him some white womenz.

  • JustPixelz

    It says "Sh'ma Y'Israel".

  • YouBetcha

    Oh FFS. Does he really have nothing better to do? NOTHING? My car could use a wash. Also, my dry cleaning needs to be picked up. Does he need a job or something? Because I am willing to oblige.

  • who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”

    The only thing that would get you less job interviews than this on your resume is a felony conviction.

    • tessiee

      I know several English Majors who might dispute this.
      Of course, we'd also say it should be "fewer" job interviews, so maybe nobody hires us because we're just so damned annoying.

  • HarryButtle

    My wedding band has squiggles, too! Loosely translated it says, "Fuck Jerome Corsi with a syphillitic rat dick." Or so I've been told by scholars who have looked at grainy photos of it.

  • mavenmaven

    When you turn it upside down, the ring says Go F$%k Yourself in Hebrew letters as demonstrated here:

    • MosesInvests

      Those things have been around at least since the '70's, much to the dismay of the rabbis who advised my youth group.

      • mavenmaven


        • MosesInvests


  • CapnFatback

    Well, to be fair to Corsi, Gollum can't help but get distracted by the precious ring. It's in his nature.

    One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
    One Ring to bring them all and in Sharia bind them

  • memzilla

    The one thing the Wing Nut Daily article doesn't have, is the Ring of Truth.

  • LibertyLover

    Hey, Hey, Hey! Don't ask, Don't tell!

  • Here is a fun song by Abba called, "Ring Ring" At first it looks like the beginning of a Swedish Erotica movie, but it isn't…it's a song.

    • TribecaMike

      LOL They look like they have to pee really bad.

  • LibertyLover

    You had me at Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Has there ever been anyone who wanted to suck Obama off as badly as Corsi? All evidence points to "no, there never was."

  • anniegetyerfun

    Yeah, I studied Arabic for a couple of years. That's not how it works.

    • LibertyLover

      I see the problem. You don't have to know Arabic or actually anything to just make shit up.

      • Negropolis

        In fact, it's better if you don't know.

  • Well — who could argue with the sort of brilliant and insightful analysis that's revealed the seventeen different locations of Atlantis or the thirty-six sites of the Garden of Eden?

  • samedwards_net

    And what would be wrong with President Obama being Muslim?

    • PubOption

      That religious test only applies to different flavors of Christianity, which may include Catholics (Santorum) or may not (Kennedy).

    • Esteev

      Black and Muslim? We should just be lucky we have all the Christinanists preventing the inevitable Apocalypse through prayer and the occasional extra-marital affair; to keep God busy.

    • Negropolis

      Bless your heart. You know good and well what it means. What's wrong with the presidnet being black? Everything, of course.

  • Crank_Tango

    Well, using Google's crop, enhance, and translate feature, I was able to deduce that it says "the shocker."

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      You MUST watch this video! (These guys are actually friends of mine!)

      • Crank_Tango

        That's awesome! Although I prefer to use more of a Mr Spock technique, the Spocker. Oh crap that's actually a thing…

  • Beowoof

    So Obama is being Swift fingered here? And when did Corsi get back from his research trip to Kenya to find the real birth certificate. And what shithole college gave this guy PhD. Or is he just so greedy that even though he is educated he will say anything for money. (Which would be my favorite).

    • unclejeems

      That would be Florida Christian "University," according to Gabriel's bio. Google warned me that their site may harm my computer. They have a glitzy promo here .

      Bottom line–another degree factory. Credit for "life experience." Gabriel's PhD? Meh.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba


        I think I can pronounce that.

  • Mahousu

    Wait a sec, my wedding ring is sort of squiggly, too. This can mean only one thing –

    I'm married to Michelle Obama. Sorry, Barry, she's mine.

    • docterry6973

      Lucky you!

  • Abernathy

    Other little-known facts about the POTUS's ring: If you spin it counterclockwise, it reads "Worship Satan." And if you turn it very slowly around and around on your finger, the Islamic letters synch up with The Wizard of Oz.

  • ahnc

    I am ululating right now…ulululululululu

  • LibertyLover

    I'm beginning to think that Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D. is just jealous that BHO can tuck his third leg into his dress sock.

  • sudsmckenzie

    I believe this, I also believe Flava Flav's clock is a countdown to "end times".

    • tessiee

      So, you've seen his show, then.

  • Callyson

    The pink script looks like it says "FFS" upside down.

    Yeah, what Obama's ring says…

  • vodkamuppet

    I think it's just a CAPTCHA he has to solve before he can nuke Israel.

  • majicunderwear

    What happened to Dr Corsi's scientifically proven Homo wedding band theory?

  • CommieLibunatic

    I'm going to strangle everyone at WND, anyone nearby me, and then myself. With votes. Seriously, hunters of the Loch Ness Monster, Megalodon, and Deep Crows have more proof than this.

  • What in the fuck are the squiggledy black sperm labeled as "text" above supposed to represent?!

    • ChessieNefercat

      Black, gay, Muslim sperm?

  • ChessieNefercat


  • ChessieNefercat

    These clowns sure do like spending their time contemplating Barack having teh ghey mooslim sex, hmm?

    And oh, how their "readers" hunger for the next installment.

  • Naked_Bunny

    I'm pretty sure those squiggles represent the intestines connected to the ass out of which WND pulls its "news".

  • zumpie

    1) You'd think Wingnut Daily would merely content themselves with it's clearly a blah/teh gay thing (cause you know, flashy and stuff).

    2) My hetereo (I hope), Jewish husband and I have matching wedding bands that have squiggles and stuff. Cause we didn't want something we'd be wearing these 20 years on Friday (and rest of our lives) to be super boring, etc.

    3) I'll give WND this: the ring's admittedly kinda ugly and frankly, both Bams and Michelle normally pick nicer stuff. But it was the early 90's, they were young and poor, etc….

    • tessiee

      Congrats on your 20th anniversary.
      I hope you have a better time than President Obama had on *his* 20th anniversary.

  • poorgradstudent

    Wearing a wedding or engagement ring isn't an Islamic custom at all and in fact is disapproved of by some authorities since it infers that taking off the ring would negatively affect the marital relationship, but hey I found all that out by doing a two minute Google search which turned up a bunch of unanimous sources and not by consulting an "Islamic expert" (BORN IN EGYPT NO LESS!), so WND must be right!

    • Naked_Bunny

      Nobama is not only a devout Muslin, he's a terrible blasphemer to boot! Also, Reverend Wright!!

  • PubOption

    Does this guy have some golden plates he would like to decipher?

  • CommieDad

    The increasing distance between sanity and the conservative party is scary.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I had no idea you could gay marry a religion! I have to propose to Taoism. BRB…

    Taoism said, "The Way is eternally nameless."

    Sooo, that's a yes, then?

  • docterry6973

    My wedding ring says 'Death to the American Satan'. In English. That's just how I roll.

  • Esteev

    Case closed guys. We have to hand it to the folks at WND. They got us (you do realize you're a Muslin if you voted for Obama, right?) and there's no use in resisting.

    We should all turn ourselves back to Jesus… wait that sounds kinda gay.

  • TribecaMike

    What, couldn't afford to consult a Tel Aviv-born Israeli jeweler?

  • Some one should point out:

    Among Muslims, the left hand is reserved for bodily hygiene and considered unclean. Thus, the right hand should be used for eating. Shaking hands or handing over an item with one's left hand is considered an insult.[2] Nonetheless, this rule does not apply to Iran anymore where using the left hand is perfectly acceptable.

    So it is worse than we thought. Obama is Iranian.

    • Negropolis

      Serious question, what if you're left handed in some of those cultures? Are you seen as defective and/or born evil?

  • tessiee

    "Islamic law prohibits the wearing of gold jewelry by men"

    So, if President Obama were wearing no rings and no jewelry, that would *also* prove he is Muslin.
    It's like the science factoid that says that only the male mosquito whines, but only the female mosquito bites. So, if you hear whining, you're OK — but *if you hear NOTHING*…

  • tessiee

    "Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”)"

    I think we have a new author for the Beka textbooks for ignorant Christers.

  • This person is really doing too much digging. The President just can't get a break!

  • Negropolis

    I can just see the WND bastards rubbing their hands together and hissing between their bad teeth: "Yes, yes…The Precious!"

  • Stevola

    I thought the Prez had one ring that said LOVE and one that said HATE. And a big fucking radio.

  • misanthrope

    Um wow pardon your reach sir.

  • I'm still confused. It's a Muslim ring due to the invisible lettering which only a "Christian educationist" can read and it's supposed to be gold. Muslim men are prohibited from wearing gold rings, but this proves that Barry is a Muslim. He's also supposed to be gay which is against Islam and a Marxist which is atheistic. Is this his wedding ring from Michelle? Or is it his secret marriage to his Muslim college roommate? None of this makes sense, unless of course the Marxists, the gays, and the Muslims are all in it together, which of course they are. Plus the CIA which his mother worked for.

  • Pithaughn

    did anybody ask the President what if any significance there is to the designs on the ring?

  • ttommyunger

    Jerome Corsi has to have the most virulent case of Jungle Fever, evah!

  • drstrabismus

    Don't you actually have to put the ring in a fire before the lettering becomes clear?

    Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
    Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

    That's Arabic, right?

  • Troglodeity

    Unfortunately Dr. Corsi Ph.D has made the rookie mistake of reading the ring upside-down. The inscription actually reads: "Slayer of Osama Bin Laden."

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