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All Divorced Iowa MomsIowa state Senator Mark Chelgren was laughed out of the room just because he tried to amend a Health and Human Services budget bill to include drug-testing all divorced moms if their exes who pay them child support demand it. Man, divorced dads get no respect! We are not sure if “demand drug testing for that bitch” is on this list of tips on “how to minimize child support” from fathersrights.org, because all the crazytown typefaces stabbed our eyeballs, but it certainly should be!

Iowa parents who receive child support on behalf of their kids would be required to submit to drug tests as frequently as every six months under a controversial amendment to a budget bill that was laughed at and ultimately withdrawn today in the Senate.

The proposal came from Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa who said he was pushing the idea on behalf of an unidentified constituent who believed his ex was using child support money for illegal drugs.

A person paying child support under Chelgren’s proposal could require the recipient to a drug test every six months as long as they pay the costs.

Some Democratic senators openly laughed as Chelgren made the proposal.

That’s because Democrats are all lesbian adopters who are waging a war on motherhood and men. Mark Chelgren for President! [DesMoinesRegister]

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  • nounverb911

    The democrats "War on Men' has begun.

    • FInally.

    • CthuNHu

      Begun, the Democrats' "War on Men" has.

      Fixed.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I just… I just… I just want to do something special, for all the ladies of the world.

      Even the hermaphrodite lady-man ladies.

  • Barb

    Why, because if mommy smoked weed the kid doesn't deserve the luxury of 3 square meals a day?

    • SorosBot

      Well, duh! Children should always have to suffer for their parents' misdeeds, no matter how minor, or even if they're illegal but not really wrong.

    • iburl

      Uh, yeah. Also, terrism.

    • UnholyMoses

      Well, if the kids smoke the weed, there'll need to be quite a few snacks thrown in there as well. So take that into account.

      • HateMachine

        And if the situation ever degenerates to the point that the children are ever found with an empty bag of weed, well, I'm afraid that at that they'll have to be put down.

    • An_Outhouse

      No, because if daddy is mad at mommy then the kid doesn't desrve the luxury of eating regularly.

    • Generation[redacted]

      If she can afford to eat poppy seed muffins, she can pay for Junior's dental work her own damn self.

  • C_R_Eature

    I'd like to chain Sen. Mark Chelgren to a chair, pump him full of LSD, stick headphones on him and play Neon Meate Dream of a Octafish at him for 12 hours.
    To start.

    • ThundercatHo

      Ok. I am totally with you for Cuttlefish Fucking Friday but that shit is too much.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yeah it's not for everyone and it's a very good punishment, but I like it. Probably says a lot about me.

    • sullivanst

      Just make sure it is the brown acid.

      • C_R_Eature

        Cut with PCP.

        • Styrichnine, also too.

          • C_R_Eature

            How about an Habanero, LSD and Rotavirus enema?

          • Boojum

            HLSDRE, for short.

          • C_R_Eature

            Noted, for future reference. heh, heh, heh.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      God, you're evil! (Uh, keep at it, huh?)

      Of course, Chelgren might secretly like your affectionate touches….)

      • C_R_Eature

        All righty.

      • C_R_Eature

        Excuse me. I need to go be Ill.

    • valgal2342

      Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon where the alarm clocks go off.

      • C_R_Eature

        Yeah. Jack him up on Acid and put "Time" on a loop. He'll be hanging himself from the ceiling in an hour.
        Good idea!

  • AlterNewt

    So, it's NOT going to be 'Boobs' day?

    • JustPixelz

      The guy sounds like a boob to me.

      • AlterNewt

        Rimshot.

    • An Asexual Ungulate

      Just another case of the Wonkette war on men I'm afraid. Or maybe it's an advancement of the radical homosexual agenda… I don't know, whichever one is the news freakout du jour today I guess. Either way, I'm disappointed.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Yeah, ya know, I pay her CHILD SUPPORT, which means she has more custody than I do. I want to test her for drugs, not try to change the custody arrangement. Just because I think she's on drugs doesn't mean I want that fucking kid coming over to MY house more. Drug test!

    What in the hell is wrong with these assholes?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Whatever it is (and in each case it may be a different thing) it probably contributed to the reasons they got divorced in the first place.

      Hmm. Ya think?

      Choose wisely, ladies.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      EXACTLY the point. It does not matter what caused a relationship to begin or end… but if it ends with children in tow, they should be taken care of.

      Meanwhile, if she's on drugs, maybe she might get arrested. I mean, fuck… we've only been waging a war on drugs for thirty goddamned years. One would think it's a criminal offense or something.

      Jesus, these people.

    • Terry

      "What in the hell is wrong with these assholes?"

      Well, they forgot to buy condoms for a start.

      • chicken_thief

        Or to take the pill before going camping….

    • Toomush_Infer

      Um, drugs?…

  • RedneckMuslin

    My ex-wife tested a lot of drugs.

    • JustPixelz

      Do you have that effect on all women? I know I do. It's a gift, I guess.

    • Terry

      …and thus your children must starve.

  • Hera Sent Me

    How about mandatory drug testing for people under court order to pay child support? If they're doing drugs, they probably aren't working as hard as they could be, and that diminishes their ability to pay.

    Won't somebody please think of the children???

    • Fare la Volpe

      Silly Hera. Men are people. They have rights.

      • horsedreamer_1

        You mean XY, LLC, correct?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      "Won't somebody please think of the children???"

      Nah. It's their own fault that they were borned. If they'd have stayed as zygotes, embryos, or fetuses they would be OK. It's the born thing that Republicans don't like.

      • Toomush_Infer

        those children should have been smart enough not to exit the vagina….

  • Not_So_Much

    It's Iowa — It would have sailed through if he'd have been smart enough to include a transvaginal ultrasound in it. Or something with a corncob.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Or both.

    • I live in Iowa, and the only thing keeping laws like this (you know, "Republican" laws) from sailing on through to be signed by the Republican gov is the Democratically held senate. That's why we're not quite as awful as FL, AZ, WI, TN, VA, ….whatever fascist enclave is currently cutting their education budgets more to encourage the ignorance that yields solid Republican votes. Who says they don't think long term?

  • noodlesalad

    My super intense dad instincts would also kick in if I thought this was happening, and I would stop at nothing NOTHING until i knew that I didn't have to write any more checks evar. Getting socialIST services involved would only be for anti-man communists.

  • freakishlywrong

    "The war on women is fiction".

  • Goonemeritus

    Clearly didn’t have the balls to stand up to the “Big Mom” lobby.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I really like that they laughed in his face.

    • SoBeach

      Demanding drug tests for people receiving food stamps is every bit as laughable, but somehow that turd passed through my state's legislature.

      • GOPCrusher

        If he represents Ottumwa, then they will be drug testing everyone.

  • Barb

    My ex and I divorced when our children were 1 and 2 years-old. When Christine started collage at age 18, I asked for her father to put her on his health insurance and the state of Delaware made me go to a "coping with divorce" class. I explained to the Family Court judge that we'd been divorced for 16 years already and they still made me go.

    I went to the "coping with divorce" class and I told them I'd been divorced for 16 years and didn't want to be there. Some guy turned to me and said, "16 years and you still can't cope with it?" Then he had the balls to ask me out for a date during a smoke break. I told him, "no, I am still trying to deal with my divorce."

    • boobookitteh

      That's straight up bullshit.

      But that guy sounds llike a catch! You missed out.

      • Barb

        Lol BooBoo. I asked the guy to stop bitching about his ex-wife in the class. I explained to everyone that we should listen, nod our heads and get our certificate at the end of the class without making it take any longer than necessary. He just kept thrusting his little paw into the air to be heard.

        My ex also had to take the class. The morning of the class, I awoke to four screwdrivers, one in each of my tires. I should remarry Mike, assuring the rest of his life is going to be a living hell.

        • ThundercatHo

          Whenever I picture my ex-husband it's with a caption that reads, "What the fuck was I thinking?"

        • boobookitteh

          Holy shit. What a fucking psycho.

          Any hooooo. I am constantly surprised at the amount of men I've met who think it's appropriate to bitch about their ex on a first date.

          But seriously, what a fucking psycho.

          • Wile E. Quixote

            Any hooooo. I am constantly surprised at the amount of men I've met who think it's appropriate to bitch about their ex on a first date.

            Let me assure you that this is not gender specific behavior. Women do the same thing.

        • Boojum

          So, your ex was not good at fixing flats and thought screws would help?

      • HateMachine

        Coping With Divorce class is where all the fine, freshly single bitches be at.

        The real tragedy of people who don't want or need these classes being forced to go is that it fucks up this Casanova's target-rich environment of emotionally vulnerable women.

        • Wile E. Quixote

          No, no. You want to pick them up at the abortionplex.

          Bethany: Then – I don't mean to sound ungrateful – but what are you doing hanging around?
          Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
          Bethany: Excuse me?
          Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

          • Boojum

            I. Never. THOUGHT OF THAT!!!

        • IonaTrailer

          MY ex-husband, (again, what was I thinking?), visited the Holocaust Museum in DC. And the whole time he kept saying stuff like, "You're not really Jewish, you never go to Temple" and "Those green leather trench coats the SS wore were really stylish" and "What do they sell in the gift shop anyway? Lampshades?" and the one that made me resolve to get the divorce was…"I bet this is a really good place to pick up Jewish chicks"

      • BaldarTFlagass

        "Some guy turned to me and said, "16 years and you still can't cope with it?"

        Sounds to me like he might have just been practicing a little sarcasm/irony. Perhaps he was a wonketeer.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      That is an excellent start of a sitcom episode, Barb.

      "The New Adventures of a Wonkette Warrior"

    • James Michael Curley

      My cousin was in Delaware? When?

      • Barb

        James, THAT was your cousin? His mom dropped him off at the class, the instructor mentioned that he didn't pay for the class yet, he bummed cigarettes off everyone during the smoke break and he suggested that his wife was the person hiding in the Zapruder film. He was a real catch.

        • James Michael Curley

          Did he use a match book to pick his teeth and then spit on the floor? Thant’s him.

          • Barb

            I missed out on all these awkward Thanksgiving dinners with you just because I wouldn't date your cousin? This guy struck me as the type who needed a ketchup bottle at the Thanksgiving table.

          • Toomush_Infer

            Um, what do you have against ketchup bottles?…

          • Barb

            I don't eat ketchup. I won't eat at a table that has ketchup on it. It's the condiment of the damned.

    • ttommyunger

      Did not know you lived in: (pick one) Arizona, Iowa, Wisconsin, Georgia, aw fuck it, the list is too long.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    They should drug test the kids, too.

    • chicken_thief

      The schools do that before handing out the mops and brooms for their janitorial shift.

    • Me_K_Cong

      In a lot of school systems, they do. If you want piano lessons, it's pee in this cup.

  • JustPixelz

    Yet another reason I call the GOP the Go-Pee party.

    • Biff

      Dey took ar jerbs pee!

  • freakishlywrong

    Some Democratic senators openly laughed as Chelgren made the proposal.
    Have they twatted their apologies yet? Oh, and Dems, from Barry on down, grow a fucking set, ferchrissakes.

    • Doktor StrangeZoom

      Frankly, I look forward to more and more Republican proposals receiving exactly this reception.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Your move, Congressman Joe Walsh.

    • fuflans

      one can only fervently hope soon to be ex-congressman joe walsh.

      • George Spelvin

        Of course, then he won't be able to pay child support because of having no job.

  • Baconzgood

    When are they going to drug test the people who do the drug testing? I never trusted people who examine urine.

    • Callyson

      If I had that job, I'd want some drugs too.

      • chicken_thief

        One of the perks is that you find out who to see to get the really primo shit.

    • Grief_Lessons

      Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

      • Boojum

        Children make the best custodians.

        — Newt Gingrich

    • sullivanst

      But who watches those who watch the watchers…

      • AlterNewt

        Jobs!

      • Boojum

        It's turtles all the way down!!

  • Texan_Bulldog

    That picture of Courtney should kill any male Wonketteer's chubby. Shudder…

    • CrunchyKnee

      Like Dave Grohl said about Francis Bean, I'd still hit it.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        If she gets that kind of shit on the lips on her FACE, you'd better wear a flame retardant, magnesium-alloy covered condom.

      • SorosBot

        Though according to Cobain herself, that was just her mom being crazy againL
        http://www.avclub.com/articles/frances-bean-cobai

        "While I'm generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I'm in a monogamous relationship and very happy.

        Twitter should ban my mother."

      • HateMachine

        Like Dave Grohl said about Kyle Gass, "I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel"

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I have to say, it would have been of benefit to me if I had my (ex)wife forced to take a "sanity test" before we wed and procreated.

  • SorosBot

    Ah, the good old MRAs; not just asshats, but now being watched as a possible hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center:
    http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/03/10

    • Fare la Volpe

      Hurray!

      It couldn't happen to a nicer gaggle of dickfucks.

    • DetectiveGrey

      I found this post informative and helpful. Because of the glut of news about violence against women, I began, as an impressionable teenager, to think it might be possible that there was some sort of media bias against men due to the saturation of stories painting them in a poor light.

      Then I learned that there's so many more media stories about violence against women because more fucking men commit violent acts against women. :|

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    My ex-wife is an oxy fan. She is lazy and fat.

    She is also in constant pain, and has suffered from small seizures and menstrually-related migraine headaches for years. Not ONCE did I ever question making child support payments. And I rarely missed payments… always with her permission.

    Fuck any "small government legislator" who wants to serve legislation at his convenience. Fuck him out loud and in public.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "A person paying child support under Chelgren’s proposal could require the recipient to a drug test every six months as long as they pay the costs."

    I think this is fair. But they should make it so that every time the mom takes the drug test and comes back negative, the father has to double the child support for the next six months.

    • caitifty

      It'd be 'fair' (if still really dumb) if the father also got randomly piss tested in the 6 months following his request.

      It's be *really* fair if every time some shmuck of a father requested a piss test, the entire extended family of every legislator who voted for it also had to piss in a cup.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      To make this "fair" they should also require the father to drink the sample, regardless of whether or not the test comes back positive.

  • WiscDad

    Those lips look like they've seen a few miles…of dick

  • mavenmaven

    All unmarried people are communists and drug users until proven otherwise on a regular basis.

    • finallyhappy

      Why the hell do unmarried people need drugs????

      • Boojum

        You have my undying gratitude and sympathy.

  • el_donaldo

    And this is how the nanny state morphs into the dickish, manipulative ex-husband state.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Chick's got a bad case of methmouth or herpes or something. Still, Levi'd bang her.

  • DetectiveGrey

    If I suspected that my child or children were in a house where someone was using illegal drugs and I DIDN'T have custody, I'd start fighting tooth and nail for it.

    • ThundercatHo

      I think there is a big difference between a loving and responsible parent who occasionally uses marijuana and/or alcohol (away from the children) and one who is impaired and unable to nurture.

      • DetectiveGrey

        Okay, then let me rephrase that:

        If I suspected that my child or children were in a house where they were being exposed to dangerous illegal substances and I didn't have custody, I'd still start fighting tooth and nail for it. Slightly better?

        • ThundercatHo

          Thank you, DG. Being a former single mom whose ex was a total asshole and never paid child support has made me a little touchy on the subject.

          • DetectiveGrey

            This is everything that scares me about getting married someday. Right now I'm young and stupid, but I worry what might happen if I end up becoming older, but not smarter, and put someone in the same situation you were put through.

          • Boojum

            You will, someday, be older. You might be smarter. You might learn that there are shades of grey within compromises within bags of no good choice.

            Or, you might be a Republican legislator and think that FREEDUM is compatible with forced object rape.

  • Drug test her and swab her for sperm. Now that some man is done with her an Iowa Mom should be a professional virgin if she wants a penny. The children of whores get what they deserve

    • freakishlywrong

      Don't give them any ideas, Maman.

      • C_R_Eature

        Beat me to it. Seriously, don't.

  • smitallica

    They should probably drug test anyone who would marry these assholes.

  • C_R_Eature

    So, just what kind of Drugs is Sen. Mark Chelgren on? I think as Taxpayers we deserve to find out. Before you get your check, pee in a cup, you bastard!

    Oh, yeah, Cephalopod Boffing.

    • ThundercatHo

      I love this one. The dude (I assume) octopus looks like he just casually sneaking a piece of her popcorn while they're watching a movie.

      • C_R_Eature

        Ha! It's like "Ooh, look at that, Hon! Pay no attention while I slip a packet of Sperm in you."

    • finallyhappy

      our museum has several(I don't know the actual number but more than 2) Cephalopod experts(a squid guy, an octopus guy, maybe a cuttlefish guy- all with premium PHds- I guess Cephalopod doctors)

      • C_R_Eature

        Cool. Tentacle-ologists?

    • Fare la Volpe

      It looks like she's filling up at the pump.

      "92 Unleaded please."

      • C_R_Eature

        "Check yer oil, Ma'am?' Heh heh heh.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Republican men are Neanderthals who believe their species are only 5,000 years old.

    • ThundercatHo

      That may be a factual statement. Perhaps some should be dissected so scientists could compare their remains.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    OMG. We already have drug testing for everyone in this country! All you have to do is prove probable cause for a warrant and voila! Drug testing. What's that you say? Can't prove probable cause? Then STFU. Because, constitution, bitch.

    • ThundercatHo

      One million upfists for you.

      • Boojum

        So, are you a Thunder Cat Ho or a "Thunder Cats, Ho!"?

  • UnholyMoses

    The GOP : Women :: Taliban : Women

    Mommy issues: The GOP haz them! (I mean, really. Freud woulda had a fucking field day with these clowns and their hatred of all things wimminz. It's almost like watching a sociological experiment gone horrifically wrong.)

  • If Florida dick-clowns want to drug-test their state workers for being state workers… and <insert Southern State> wants to drug-test welfare recipients for being welfare recipients… and next up Iowa's single mom's get to look forward to being drug-tested for being eligible to get support payments… pretty soon the goons drafting these shit sandwiches are gonna run out of people to stigmatize with their endless testing boolshit. It's no longer a war ON drugs — these legislators are more addicted to drugs as a means to bully some scapegoats and red-herring away real problems than the people supposedly prone to abusing them.

    • Me_K_Cong

      "these legislators are more addicted to drugs as a means to bully some scapegoats and red-herring away real problems than the people supposedly prone to abusing them. "
      Nothing to say except, that was excellent.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The proposal came from Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa who said he was pushing the idea on behalf of an unidentified constituent who believed his ex was using child support money for illegal drugs.

    Excellent idea, this proposing a sweeping new law based on what one constituent is yelling about today. Soon, when the Iowa summers get too hot, everyone will be required to open their refrigerator doors to lower the temperature.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      I love "There oughta be a law" stories from "small government" assholes.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Following his logic, I should get to see the reciept for my ex-wife's Acura.

  • The proposal came from Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa who said he was pushing the idea on behalf of an unidentified constituent who believed his ex was using child support money for illegal drugs.

    Sounds like a great reason to pass a law affecting thousands of people.

    • I'm all for it as long as they tell me exactly what drugs are involved.

    • VaWyo

      Radar O'Reilly's ex wife?

  • BlueStateLibel

    It's been said before, but I'm not joking: WHEN do we start drug-testing politicians?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    BTW: Which Olsen twin is that?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Scabby.

  • Steverino247

    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
    I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.

    • C_R_Eature

      Thanks, Steve-o. I've broken enough shit lately.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      link? Google was kinda bland.

      • Steverino247

        When I was a kid there was a TV show called "Divorce Court." I was amazed at the shit those people said and did. Little did I know I would end up in a position where I could be a writer for that show. Just amazing shit. Really. The TV show had to change certain elements of the story "for content." I get it raw.

      • Doktor StrangeZoom
  • Callyson

    “We shouldn’t be ducking our head and running away every time there’s a difficult issue coming up,” Chelgren said.

    You mean like the Republicans did after 2010, when they ran the hell away from that promised laser – like focus on jobs?

    Asshole.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    For people so gung ho about drug tests, they sure do act like they're on a plethora of illicit substances.

    Projection, maybe?

  • Grief_Lessons

    We should also be able to drug test our state senators should we suspect their salaries are going to pay for drugs.

  • Biff

    Fucking Iowa, man. Have any of you ever tried that Iowa ditch weed? Couldn't even get a fly high, man!

    • True story. No, really, this is a true story. I'm from Iowa. One summer when I was in High School and trying to earn some spare pocket money, I went out walking beans on a friend's cousin's farm. Walking down the rows, pulling out the weeds. As we worked, we noticed a familiar looking plant growing in large amounts along the roadside. Well, we thought we had hit the mother lode and were going to be the most popular kids at East Des Moines High. We loaded up about 5 or 6 Hefty garbage bags full. Once we got back home, we rolled up the biggest spliff you could imagine. Nothing. We tried another, figuring "well, you can't exactly expect it to be Acapulco Gold." After 5 or 6 joints and nothing but a headache, we buried it in his back yard, telling ourselves that maybe it would increase in potency with age, like a fine wine, but we both knew it was bullshit.
      That was the summer of '71, and it's probably still there.

      • GOPCrusher

        Yep. Me too. I think every person in the late 60's/early 70's that grew up in Iowa, tested out Iojauna (I-O-juana).
        We learned real quick the difference between marijuana and hemp.

  • Steverino247

    Hey, you want to drug test somebody? How about hedge fund managers. Let's see if the "hookers and blow" rumors are true, shall we? You can drug test anybody else whose decisions affect the entire fucking economy while you're at it.

  • Blueb4sunrise
  • fuflans

    there's a whole passel of us divorced folks on the wonkette intertubes apparently.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      This is not Match(dot)com?

      • SorosBot

        Gee, it worked like that for me…

        • Boojum

          SB, does the phrase "fuck you, we want your wimmin" mean anything to you?

          Not that I'm saying it should, mind you, or that I'm really resentful and jealous or..:::mumbling to a bitter wistful silence:::

  • fuflans

    the people's house at work.

  • Ok, so, ONE "unidentified constituent" BELIEVES his ex was using child support money to buy illegal drugs, so Senator Dickhead wants to pass a law that will adversely affect thousands of ex-wives who are only trying to get financial help from the fathers to support their children.

    Wow, talk about special interest. That "unidentified constituent" must be pushing a lot of money toward Chalgren.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      The "unidentified constituent" could be some company that does drug tests. State senators are a cheap bribe.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Seems like a sensible small government approach to the problem.

  • hagajim

    I'd be willing to pay child support to Shawna – if she'd give it to me. The ad says she wants it – so I just wanna help.

  • proudgrampa

    Goldie Hawn has really gone downhill, huh?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      The story is her mouth fell and hit a doorknob.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    Family Court temp receptionist here. Two things: Several people who I've helped with parenting plans have remarked, "you know, they should require this amount of red tape BEFORE people get married, then people wouldn't bother and we'd all be happier."

    Also, a repost of the Louis CK quote that I have decided needs to be made into a needlepoint plaque for our office:

    Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It’s really that simple. That’s never happened – THAT would be sad. If two people were married and they were really happy and they just had a great thing, and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.

    • Steverino247

      I will resist the temptation to share True Stories of Family Law.
      Etc.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I think you should share.

  • KotBR

    You'd think for a single mother, a little stipend for pot would be the least the dad could do.

  • owhatever

    No. No. You never cut off your dealer. Instead of "Pee in the cup, bitch," you want "Gimme some extra oxy or weed until payday, OK, babe?"

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Dick parent is dick.

  • Terry

    If Daddy thinks Mommy is a big old drug user, he should go for custody of the kids and not just try to cut how much he has to pay each month.

    • finallyhappy

      but Daddy doesn't want the kids- we all know that.

      • Terry

        Just to hurt Mommy

  • James Michael Curley

    Paraskevidekatriaphobia

  • Me_K_Cong

    Ms. Cobain may not realize it, but there are drugs that stop Herpes in its tracks. Blam. Right now. The downside is that if you cure the Herpes on your lower lip nobody knows just how big a whore you are.

    • GOPCrusher

      I think it adds to her persona.

  • chicken_thief

    All the divorced dads should be allowed to take their baby mamas to Topeka for a bi-annual weekend getaway where they can lovingly beat the obedience back into their former bitches, too. Also.

  • Troglodeity

    "Don't let Mitt Romney and the Republicans insult divorced women!"

    See, two can play at that game.

  • DahBoner

    That picture is Courtney Love BEFORE plastic surgery, right?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I am so glad that my ex and I didn't have kids. People have said, "oh that's so sad" if they heard this, to which I reply that if we did have kids, they only time I'd see them would be at breakfast when I saw their pictures on the milk carton.

  • rickmaci

    Mandatory weekly drug testing on all legislators might cut down on the bullshot coming our of the GOTeaP side.

  • VaWyo

    OMFG, I really hate this people.

  • On the upside, I must say I'm really proud of IOWA DEMOCRATS.

    • GOPCrusher

      Senator Gronstal is really putting a burr in the saddle of the Iowa Talibani, since the Democrats control the Senate, he has publically stated that he will never allow a debate to amend the Constitution of Iowa to ban same-sex marriage to come to the Senate floor.
      Despite the fact that almost 75% of Iowans could give two shits whether gays marry or not, the Talibani still contend that they don't care if it takes 30 years, they will ban same sex marriage.

  • snoopyfan2010

    Wait, what happened to Moms Work Too? Is this Obama too???

  • comrad_darkness

    Hey, Chelgren, admit it. Your Ex does drugs because she needed them to avoid murdering you in your sleep.

  • ttommyunger

    Idiot libel…

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