Try and unsee that for the rest of the day.

Lame non-magical toad wart Jim DeMint just lives to annoy fellow South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, doesn’t he? Jim DeMint ruined Lindsey Graham’s dreams of a GOP Senate majority, refused to allocate funding for some local science project that ol’ Ham Biscuits desperately wanted and then voted against Lindsey’s beloved “China you suck” bill to punish China for its currency devaluation. Neener! But because Jim DeMint can never be irritating enough, he led a Senate rebellion Tuesday against a Lindsey Graham co-sponsored amendment to reauthorize the Export-Import Bank, which caused the amendment to fail with DeMint noting that Lindsey Graham is basically a socialist. Fight fight fight!

The Export-Import Bank finances loans and credit guarantees to boost the sale of American exports (including piles and piles of Boeing airplanes made in South Carolina). The amendment, which was tacked onto the jobs bill that the House already passed, sought to reauthorize and increase funding for the bank. Translation: corporate welfare! Blah blah corporations are people now, and isn’t welfare for people universally terrible, Lindsey Graham? Now hold on a minute, sayeth the communist sympathizer:

“I would love to see a world where there was a completely level playing field and we didn’t have any kind of subsidies, but we live in a world where the amount of financing available to competitors of American companies is growing,” Graham told reporters Monday.

Nice try at some crafty nuance there, SOCIALIST. Look at that Lindsey Graham, he wants to be such a gay French. Jim DeMint is not a gay French.

“America didn’t become the world’s strongest economy by trying to out-socialize Europe with financial policy, and we won’t win the future by picking winners and losers with taxpayer dollars,” DeMint told McClatchy.

We are 600% certain that Jim DeMint has no idea what he is talking about, but the point is, are you gonna take that, Lindsey Graham? Fight fight fight! [Politico/McClatchy]

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  • Barb

    He's gonna slap the ham biscuits right out of his tiny girlish hands.

    • Hm, not sure about that. Barb. I don't think they're detachable. It might hurt DeMint

    • memzilla

      He's gonna slap the ham biscuits right out of his tiny girlish hands, bless his heart.


      • Barb

        He'll reach into his fanny pack and get two more out, ya'll. Every luau needs a well-prepared fruit.

    • thedeathofirony

      No one puts Ham Biscuits in the corner!

  • Goonemeritus

    They need to stop this unproductive nonsense and focus on what they have in common, like they both really suck.

  • Actually, well studied student of US America economikz DeMinty… you did. It's been the US American way except for a brief time during the early days of the 70s tech boom (cough Apple cough Microsoft cough.)

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    we won’t win the future by picking winners and losers with taxpayer dollars

    Then stop the damn corn and oil-exploration subsidies…

    • Gainsbourg69

      And stop funneling cash to your defense industry chums.

      • DahBoner


  • skoalrebel


  • neiltheblaze

    Yeah, ok – but you have to realize – the make-up sex is awesome.

    • DO. NOT. WANT!

    • Limeylizzie

      Because that thought is so disturbing I wish I could have access to the legendary downfist.

      • neiltheblaze

        Just be grateful there's no video.

        • jjdaddyo

          Rule 34

      • AbandonHope

        I think it's been long enough that the downfist is now more myth than legend. I'm waiting for the FOX shows devoted to searching for it, complete with faked downfist footage.

        • Grief_Lessons

          Downfists are now in the fifth circle, with Fillippo Argenti.

        • prommie

          Narrated by Leonard Nimoy, which means they had better act quickly. . . .

    • BornInATrailer

      What was that urban dictionary thing we learned yesterday? Etch-a-Sketch?

      • neiltheblaze

        Less corrosive than brain-bleach!

  • freakishlywrong

    I love wingnut on wingnut violence. Bitches, all of em'.

  • Grief_Lessons

    Unironic use of the phrase "win the future". Lame to power of infinity.

  • Ooooh, will this be posted on YouTube on the BitchFight channel?

    • Guppy

      I would say that it's actually appearing on YouPorn on the LemonWrestling channel, but you already mentioned your shortage of brain bleach above…

  • memzilla

    This reminds me of every old Star Trek / Twilight Zone episode where the wily human protagonist gets the computer caught in a logic loop and its head explodes, combined with every old Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea episode where the submarine goes more than 5° off center and sparks fly every whichaway.

    Whose head will assplode first?

    Meantime: Slap Fight! Slap Fight! Slap Fight!

  • tcaalaw

    I was going to post something about the picture mash-up leaving me scarred, but then I noticed the alt-test anticipated that response, which would have made my crack completely lame. Curse you Kirsten Boyd Johnson!

  • Pragmatist2

    I think Jim is sweet on Lindsay but he just can't say it out loud.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "“America didn’t become the world’s strongest economy by trying to out-socialize Europe with financial policy…"

    When did banking become "socialist"?

    • AbandonHope

      You see… because… uh… and the interest rate… um… SHUT UP, THAT'S WHY.

    • freakishlywrong

      When the loathsome asshole DeMint opens his piehole. Subsidies for me, but not for thee.

    • c'mon man – we became great by hiding our human trafficking cash in our mattresses until we need to pay the serfs to throw our Christian corn syrup holidays.

    • Callyson

      Right around the time we gave bankers handouts for failure–I mean, bailouts so they would not destroy the economy even more than they already did.

    • Negropolis

      Suffice it to say, DeMint's answer to that would be sprinkled with the word "Jew" a few dozen times.

  • [W]e won’t win the future by picking winners and losers with taxpayer dollars

    So we can suspend the oil subsidies, and the corn subsidies, and the "subsidies because the CEO is a major Republican contributor" subsidies and the "subsidies for the dog grooming business my secretary opened with the blackmail money and he still hasn't given the videotape back, the bitch" subisidies?

    • It's anticipated the matter of your last cited subsidy can be resolved in a quiet room.

      • Not if he wants to expand to a second store…

    • How do you think the Duponts made their fortune? Or Exxon? US Steel? Sheer hard work? Hahahahahahahahaha!

  • If James Carville were alive he could say something very southern and clever about this.

  • Beowoof

    Don't worry DeMint I am sure the socialist in Europe will capitalize on the socialist opportunity to secure jobs for European workers at Airbus. Yeah laissez faire capitalism.

  • Silly Grasshopper, Lindsey will crème DeMint(he).

    • Barb

      In a mudslide.

      • chicken_thief

        DeMint(he) is green with envy.

  • prommie

    I have been reading about that there French Revolution; I always had the impression it was a violent insurrection, a war, rebellion storming the Bastille and all that. Turns out, with the exception of a riot here and there, it wasn't. It was the gradual accumulation of power by a couple of political parties, Jacobins and Girondists, who then passed laws implementing their revolutionary goals. Revolutionary inasmuch as they wanted to make great changes to the existing system. Thats the same thing these republicans are doing. The reign of terror begins when they outlaw their opposition. People like Ann Coulter, who publicly call for the criminalization of liberalism, are the Dantons, who was himself just a polemicist.

    • Say, you sound like you've had some edumacayshun….what else you learnt?

      • prommie

        Never add water to acid.

    • Now that you mention it, the French Revolution was kind of gay.

      • Guppy

        Were the trundles BeDazzled?

  • lefty74

    That picture creeps me out.

    • chicken_thief

      Dittos. The thought of Ham Biscuits having nice hooters does not compute.

  • BarackMyWorld

    "America didn’t become the world’s strongest economy by trying to out-socialize Europe with financial policy…"

    Why, I'm now beginning to question how much American history the wingnuts actually know!

  • chascates

    Tennessee Williams would have made a great play out of this.

  • Sue4466

    “America didn’t become the world’s strongest economy by trying to out-socialize Europe with financial policy, and we won’t win the future by picking winners and losers with taxpayer dollars."

    "We also did it by deploying our military to secure foreign markets and ensure our access to resources, buddy. Big difference."

  • Barb

    Do you get the feeling that every time the kids wanted to play cowboys and Indians, Lindsey wanted to be Pocahantas?

    • The coffee is strong in New Mexico.

      • Barb

        Morning Weej!

    • DahBoner


      Why…I just met her!

  • LiveToServeYa

    Well, Graham-Mint is some kind of cookie sandwich, yes?

  • OobyDoobyDoo

    That'll replace the whale in my nightmares! Thanks Wonkette!

  • KBJ's cracking wise about this conniption fit bbetween deepfried southern stogies is enough to make me reconsider what I missed about Mournings in America.. Laughter is the better way to start off the day.

  • Doktor StrangeZoom

    OK, but what if we agree to include a requirement that Boeing executives have to take a drug test? Will you allow it then, Jim? What? Only if you can watch???

  • chicken_thief

    Boosting the sale of exports would cause an increase in sales of US products. Which might lead to businesses expanding, which would not only demand hiring but also may expand the tax base.

    Who the fuck wants THAT?! I'm with you, Jimmy – smack Walnut's bitch down!!!

  • We won’t win the future…

    I thought DeMint was still trying to win the War of Northern Aggression.

  • America didn’t become the world’s strongest economy by trying to out-socialize Europe with financial policy

    Actually, it kinda did, since America's response to the financial crisis involved a meagre attempt at fiscal stimulus coupled with a couple of futile attempts at expansionary monetary policy, while Europe responded by demanding gouging austerity measures that perversely prolonged and deepened the downturn.

    But hey, whatever, socialism, amiright?

    • chicken_thief

      You and those librul facts… *shakes head*… what part of Kenyan Muslin don't you understand, sheeple?!!

  • Fortunately for us, they are both white.

  • WiscDad

    "world’s strongest economy"? Since when?

  • dadanarchist

    I've got my fingers crossed this leads to civil war – in South Carolina. Because fuck those people.

  • Slim_Pickins

    You can use gibberish to justify anything. ANYTHING

  • Mr Pre-Press

    the dewlaps and jowls will not stand, dude.

  • ttommyunger

    Hmmmm. Nice tits! I'm beginning to understand the appeal of Miss Lindsay.

  • I hate those fights where both sides are simply awful excuses for people.

  • DahBoner

    Well dip him in flour and ya got a skank biscuit…

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