Back before Joe the Plumber fell into an Internet spidy-hole and was still actually getting interviewed (granted, only by things called “Christianity Today”), America’s sweetheart let slip with some—how to put this delicately—fucking nuts comments about the “queers” and how he would never let them near his children. Ha, so heartland, right? Well, Joe recently took the opportunity to let everyone know he’s more rancid than ever! (If you were concerned.)

Only now, as an Official Politician, Joe wields the awesome power to call bullshit on the CNN ladies for their “gotcha” questions:

SAMBOLIN: No, I’m just questioning whether or not you still stand on these positions on homosexuality.

WURZELBACHER: I’m trying to get where you’re coming from, what context are you using this in? Come on, you’re trying to do a ‘gotcha’ moment, it’s quite obvious.

Never pegged this guy for a quick study but excellent (taxable) work, Joe! As for the rest of you, please remember time is running out to find a suicide pact “buddy” before Congressman-elect Wurzelbacher’s tacky victory party this November. [Think Progress]

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  • Barb

    It's not a "gotcha question" just because it "gotcha"

    • SorosBot

      A "gocha" question is apparently any one a wingnut doesn't have a prepared answer for.

      • Geminisunmars

        Or requires the ability to think of an answer.

    • Nothingisamiss

      If I ever went to a Sarah Palin rally (I won't) I'd wear this on a t-shirt.

  • If Joe was a real plumber, he would know how to handle this shit…

  • elviouslyqueer

    Insufferable homophobic douchebag is insufferable.

    • orygoon

      Difficult to masturbate to, also.

  • FNMA

    To be fair, "You want fries with that?" is a gotcha question to Joe.

  • He should be banned.

    • Let's check Mistress Rebecca's STRICT rules:
      1. slur on children? guess not
      2. physical threats? my head hurts with his stupid. (oops I just broke rule #1)
      3. totally libelous? accusing a non-Fox journalist of "gotcha" is legally required
      4. disgusting pig? DING DING DING He wins. Um loses. Um … he's outta here!

    • He should be shot out of a cannon into a black hole filed with pig shit while the Star Spangled Banner plays.

      • vtxmcrider

        Great image but, because of the homophobic stance, the black hole should be filled with santorum.

  • ttommyunger

    Joe the Moran to his handlers after this segment: "I didn't know there would be so many…..words, involved."

  • Blueb4sunrise

    That scamp.

  • nounverb911

    Joe, are you licensed to plumb?

  • HogeyeGrex

    All of them, Katie?

  • SkinnyNerd

    I cannot believe Kucinich's seat may possibly go to this guy.*

    *I doubt it will, but if it does, that would seriously suck.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Running for Congress seems to be the new American Idol for these Tea-turds.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Next thing you know, William Hung will be running for congress.

      • Fare la Volpe

        "She bang she bang" means something completely different to congresscritters.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Def an upgrade over Not-Joe-the-not-quite-plumber.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          Seriously…we should be calling him Joe the Plumbers Helper…or for the sake of brevity, Joe the Plunger.

    • The Biggest Loser.

  • SexySmurf

    Total gotcha question. How is Not Joe the Not Plumber supposed to know what he believes?

    • 40 or 50 % McShineys

      He should check with the Koch that supports him (this is also called pegging?)

  • Callyson

    "Honky"? Does anyone still use that term? Unironically, I mean?

    • When people honk at me I do.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I use it ALL THE TIME. That, and "cracker".

  • prommie

    He has to be the biggest turd ever passed; he must weigh a thousand Courics, at least.

  • memzilla

    "…you’re trying to do a ‘gotcha’ moment, it’s quite obvious."

    Can you imagine what any good teacher's reaction would be, if one of her students said this as she was passing out the pop quiz?

  • SorosBot

    "Joe" is auditioning for a role in Kirk Cameron's next movie.

  • nounverb911

    Has anyone told "Joe" about the requirement for all congresscritters to be able to read?

    • anniegetyerfun

      I believe someone did send him a memo about that.

    • MissNancyPriss

      Sadly, there is no such requirement.

  • Callyson

    I love that this reporter did not let Plumber Joe weasel out of answering the question, but kept pressing him to explain his dumbass comments.
    She is so fired.

    • Fare la Volpe

      "We can't have any of this 'journalism' nonsense; we're CNN."

    • SorosBot

      First Soledad O'Brien called a Breitbart douche on being completely wrong, now this – has something gotten in the water at CNN to make their reporters start actually doing their jobs?

      • SoBeach

        God I hope so. I stopped watching cable news years ago when it finally dawned on me that it was all just bad theater where "interviews" were just a way to allow people to rattle off their prepared talking points.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Did she quickly follow-up by reading what people were saying on Twitter about Peyton Manning? Because that's where the real stories are.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Why would any Homo Sapiens, gay or otherwise, want to come near a Neanderthal and/or his offspring?

    That's so 40,000 years ago.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Neanderthal libel – no, really. Bigger brains than h. sapiens, check, less warlike, check. Less inclined to eat their own environment, check. What's not to like?

      • SorosBot

        And I'm part neanderthal! No really – according to genetic studies red hair like mine is evidence of partial neanderthal ancestry.

        • LagunaB

          Have you noticed how many young kids these days have red hair? And I thought it was pre-natal vitamins. Maybe Neandrathals are making a comeback? Repubs don't have a big enough brain nor sufficient memory to be called Neandrathals.

      • Hera Sent Me

        So you're asserting that Neanderthals were better people than Not Joe The Non Plumber?

        I agree. No Neanderthal ever made me want to puke.

        • Nothingisamiss

          Well…there was that one Neanderthal that one time, but we were both drunk, really……

  • north_of_moscow

    Joe, it's not the question that makes you look like a dipshit. It's the answer.

  • Oh Joe, it hasn't even started yet. The Press is still in the "Let's pour some Drano down the pipe" stage of questioning. Wait till it gets to "it's time to unleash the snake" stage before crying about how mean and cruel the questions are.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Wait even more for that "KY'ed hamster" moment…

      • No, they save that for people who DON'T deserve it.

    • GOPCrusher

      I hope they hold Joe The Plumber down real good before they snake out his pipes.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Homosexuality…Joe the Plumber…and pegged all in the same day.

    I need a nap.

  • There is no such thing as saying "Fuck you, John McCain" too many times….

    • MegPasadena

      But does that imply actually fucking him.

  • bumfug

    Talking about Joe's beliefs is automatically a "gotcha" moment.

    • GOPCrusher

      Asking Joe about his stance on homosexuality="gotcha" question
      Joe screaming that all queers must hang=First Amendment Rights

  • Terry

    ANY question is a gotcha for this guy. Remember that he got his name and occupation wrong .

  • metamarcisf

    Where's the plumbing certificate?

  • Oblios_Cap

    And the race to the bottom continues apace.

    At least we're Exceptional at something, even if it is electing the stupidest jackasses to run our country.

  • SmutBoffin

    Well, Joe the Person-Who-Might-Know-Something-About-Plumbing-Maybe did try to stay on message with the "jawbs" line. This is a refreshing change from the Santorum-types who, when asked about the economy, will respond with "TEH GAYEZ R COMING FOR YR KIDS".

    Joe is still a big jerk, though. (Can I say that?)

    • Whoa whoa whoa, are you trying to get us shut down?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Who could've foretold that a spokesperson for digital-to-analog converters who didn't even know he doesn't own his own plumbing company would be incapable of answering simple questions about his own opinions?

  • annettaj

    Uh, yeah–telling Joe that the disrict he comes from had been annexed to Canada didn't work out for us. We've still got to claim this leftover McCain/Palin 2008 campaign bumpersticker idiot as an Ohioan.

  • BigDumbRedDog

    I want you guys to know that you all give really crappy homemaking advice. Can someone at least tell me the best way to get semen and tear stains out of silk? Thanx!

    • ThundercatHo

      Liquid Joe the Plumber. Works on Santorum stains too.

    • Geminisunmars

      Using tears always worked for me to get the semen out of silk. You must be doing it wrong.

    • MissNancyPriss

      No don't even joke about it, BDRD, I enjoy your comments too much.

  • ElPinche

    What a nincompoop.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    one more reason to bomb, bomb walnuts.

    • MosesInvests

      In the strictly metaphorical sense, obvs.

      • HobbesEvilTwin

        No, for realz. I'll take my chances with the new rules. Wishing bombing on a man who has used his position as a senator to encourage the bombing of Iran, Iraq, Libya, Syria, and god knows how many other places populated with teh brownz ought to be covered by some loophole or other.

        • iburl

          not to mention foisting Joe the Dumber and Sara Failin on us all.

  • Steverino247

    Rancid! Hey, there's an R word we can abuse!

  • comments about the “queers” and how he would never let them near his children.

    In his defense – – Joe probably had one Twinkie® too many for breakfast that morning.

    • vtxmcrider

      And then he was pissed off when the Twinkie's boyfriend came home from work.

  • Goonemeritus

    The gotcha question defense saved no one at the Nuremburg trials. But than members of the tribunal probably on the whole were more elitist than Republicans what with their book learning and such.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Of course, like the defendants there, a quick appointment with Mr A Pierrepoint would only improve Joey's discourse.. (have I slipped that reference by the editrix….?)

      • PubOption

        Probably. I think that only Brits of a certain age (such as me) will get that reference.

      • Goonemeritus

        I don’t think any of the customers of the Pierrepoint family had any reason to complain of the level of service rendered. A strong dare I say very British devotion to the family guild is always admirable.

        • MaxNeanderthal

          To use some 18th century London slang, a "heartychoke and caper sauce" whilst dancing "the hempen two-step" beneath "the deadly nevergreen" has a tendency to combine the maximum of deterrence with the minimum of recidivism (on an individual level that is)…

  • SiameseCatLady

    Super Tuesday night coverage on MSNBC included Steve Schmidt who was one of McCain's campaign managers. He was asked how Joe the PLumber impacted the campaign. He said that about 2 weeks before the election he, McCain & Lindsay Graham were on the campaign bus (I forget where) and Joe came onto the bus WITH HIS OFFICIAL BIOGRAPHER!

    What else is there to say?

    • JackDempsey1

      As a cable news watcher, you have missed Important Rule #1:
      There is always something else to say.

      For example,
      Does Joe's biographer have secret service protection yet, and is how does he treat said protection/man-servant?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, self-promoting douchecanoes gotta self-promote.

  • How was Joe supposed to know that people would look at things he has said in the past? What are you people? Mind readers?

  • teebob2000

    "So are you still an asshat?"

  • widestanceromance

    Remember, he has gay friends, but, of course, would never let them near his kids.

    Whothephuck would have friends they would never let near their kids? That gap in child care skills alone, homophobia aside, should disqualify him from serving public office. You know, unless the toilets backed up. And he was a real plumber.

    A homophobe can scoop sewage as good as anyone.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I don't have any kids, but I if I ever do, I have several friends who will be more than delighted to avoid any and all offspring. They aren't gay, though, just hateful.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Apparently this douche is unaware that successfully handling a "tough" question is what makes someone seem qualified for public office. Or is that really idealistic and old-fashion-y of me.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, given normal Conservative proclivities, how long until Joe is found in a rest stop bathroom at a glory hole?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Should have been yesterday, but everyone was busy fapping to the footage of Obama's All Black All Man Huggathon.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know who else the Press tried to get to answer a "Gotcha" question?

    • anniegetyerfun

      All of them, Katie?

    • GOPCrusher

      John Gotti?

    • bikerlaureate

      Elian Gonzalez ?

  • BigDumbRedDog

    If anyone in the Seattle area needs a suicide buddy I have a case of beer, a bottle of Advil and some cough syrup with codeine. I am also close to an emergency room for when we chicken out and decide it was all just a cry for help.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I have a bottle of champagne and some party hats, let's make a night of it!

      • BigDumbRedDog

        Woo hoo! Suicide party! We can give each other CPR.

  • Fare la Volpe

    White guys can never work a chrome dome.

    • GOPCrusher

      Worked for Telly Savalas.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Another toughy, Joe. Do you plan on buying a suit before going to Washington?

  • He really truly is the male Sarah Palin.

  • rickmaci

    This guy is so homophobic he can't say the word homosexual. Catch him at about 1:39. He ends up using a santorumish slur pronunciation. Must be terrified that if he even says the word he will catch the gays.

  • owhatever

    From now on, the only question he will answer is, "Are you aware that everyone in America believes you are wonderful, Joe the Plumber?"

    He has been coached for two weeks to answer, "Yes, and I wonderful them right back."

  • kissawookiee

    Harrumph. Why, in my day, any dictionary you cared to consult defined "darky" as "domestic assistance specialist" and "whore" as "person containing the XX doublet," so I insist upon a complete explanation of the context in which you are operating before I decide whether to proceed apace with this impertinent line of questioning.

  • prommie

    As far as the suicide pact, I have this idea, it involves a modification of the idea of "death by unga bunga" . . .

  • Wonderthing

    Joe: Just fucking elect me! Where's my desk? Where's my paycheck? Where's my sex?

  • SolitaireRose

    Other ":Gotcha" questions: Is your name really Joe? What is your current job? Are you bald or do you shave your head that way? What do you think of the new "My Little Ponies" cartoon? Do you support literacy and sufferage? And what about…Naomi?

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Someone should tell CNN that they'd have a far more interesting and informative segment if they'd question someone who actually went to the polls to vote for this alleged plumber.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Joe, are you a pitcher or a catcher?"

  • real_dc_native

    Joe, you broke my heart. Giving up an honest business to go on the Government dole. Aren't there any genuine small business people left in the GOP?

  • HelmutNewton

    "Joe The Dumber" lives up (down?) to his moniker again…

  • In Joe's defense, he probably gets the words "homosexual" and "homosapien" mixed up, and he can't remember which one he is.

  • mavenmaven

    "I have spoke to" He's a smart Republican, knows his dictionary and grammar.

  • DaRooster

    Palin/Plumber 2012 !!

  • chascates

    When program host Zoraida Sambolin asked him why he was qualified to serve in Congress, Wurzelbacher seemed to get agitated, saying he was “very much involved in the process of what’s going on.”

    I think Meghan McCain is more involved in the process of what's going on. Which isn't a hell of a lot.

  • owhatever

    You are my new best friend, and I'll bring one bottle of Jack Daniels and several of Ambien.

  • comrad_darkness

    I was curious if he actually figured out how to compute taxable income on a small business yet. Or did the cognitive dissonance scare him out of losing his Pure Victim Badge, possibly in the future, if he ever got off his ass and bought a business in a field he didn't have a license in anyway, and stuff.

  • proudgrampa

    Goodness. We really ARE scraping bottom now, aren't we???

    Gotcha question: 'What is your name, Joe?"

  • While it's nice to see one of McCain's creations try to do something allegedly productive, it's too bad it turned out to be the dumber of the two.

  • WiscDad

    I thought they may have asked him how he felt about winning the primary

  • Mr Pre-Press

    Joe doesn't know an elbow from a nipple. #fail

  • Beetagger

    I think I misunderstood the question… does Joe like getting pegged?

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