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Hey, everyone still remember the Stop Online Piracy Act that the cranky old farts over at famous Washington senior center Congress have been feverishly gluing together during craft time, to try to make all that noise from “the tubes” go away? More and more people really, really hate the bill! This is not surprising, because it is awful. What maybe is a little surprising is the number of computers (hundreds!) within the House of Representatives — a body that has so far shown largely bipartisan support for the bill — that are busily downloading pirated content all the freaking time.

The folks over at TorrentFreak have been mining the database of IP addresses in the archives at YouHaveDownloaded.com for evidence of file-sharing over at the House of Representatives. There’s no way of knowing whether any of the addresses belong to specific Representatives who support the bill, but at the very least it seems possible from their search to reasonably conclude, “Congress is stacked silly with Internet pirates.”

From TorrentFreak:

Although we don’t plan to go on forever trawling the archives, we felt that there was at least one place that warranted further investigation – the U.S. House of Representatives. Since it’s the birthplace of the pending SOPA bill, we wondered how many of the employees there have engaged in unauthorized copying.

The answer is yet again unambiguous – they pirate a lot.

In total we found more than 800 IP-addresses assigned to the U.S. House of Representatives from where content has been shared on BitTorrent. After a closer inspection it quickly became clear the House isn’t just using it for legitimate downloads either, quite the opposite.

Something that immediately caught our eye are the self-help books that are downloaded in the House. “Crucial Conversations- Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High,” for example, may indeed be of interest to the political elite in the United States. And “How to Answer Hard Interview Questions And Everything Else You Need to Know to Get the Job You Want” may be helpful for those who aspire to higher positions.

And YES, also porn.

How will the insecure fappers in Congress SURVIVE if this dumb bill passes?? [TorrentFreak via Boing Boing]

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  • Schmannnity

    Forget downloaded porn. How much is uploaded from those IPs?

  • I'm shocked, shocked that Congress needs porn. Don't the lobbyists just send over their Love Brigades whenever Congress calls?

    • poncho_pilot

      should premature ejaculation occur, Congress comes equipped with Big Jim Slade!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ96dy93mP0

      • Numbat_Dundee

        But do they have a supply of "Catholic Girls in Trouble"?

        • poncho_pilot

          the midget with the whip is one of my all time favorite moments in any movie ever.

    • Joy Division?

  • Steverino247

    So ,SOPA stands for Support Our Porn Addiction?

    • Not enough upfists available for this *stellar* remark.

  • Does this mean we can shut down rickperry.org for pirating gay porn?

  • Come here a minute

    This is obviously just congressional staff, since the members can check out all the porn they want the old fashioned way — from the Library of Congress.

    • Rotundo_

      That and none of them are competent enough to figure out Internet Explorer let alone operate on the net with the same competence as a 2nd grader.

    • user-of-owls
    • Steverino247

      Oh, boy! That ranks right up there with the lingerie models in the Sears catalog.

    • The JFK & Marilyn film is always checked out. Junior members of the House have to content themselves with the Harding & Nan Britton footage.

    • OneDollarJuana

      I thought congressmen checked made their own porn with their office staffs.

  • Gomez571

    This bill is SOPA King stupid.

  • Barb

    I wonder if anyone pirates books about pirates? I hope someone snags this book for Bristol:
    "If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs"

    • Joke I downloaded with checking its copyright:

      She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.

      Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”

      One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, “Do you think he means her first or second husband?” The friend replied, “I think he means her legs.”

      • Barb

        Oh my, LOL!

      • HogeyeGrex

        A dear friend of mine once mused that she would need to be buried in a Y-shaped coffin.

  • Barrelhse

    Oh, no, I'm not clicking on "Gangland Cream Pie".
    No way.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Why not? It's just footage of a fill-her-buster from the House floor.

      • poncho_pilot

        and it's not a money shot. it's a motion for cloture.

        • OneDollarJuana

          And for a little gay-porn equal time, "Feel-a-buster".

    • voodooeconomics

      not a link, not a link..

    • GOPCrusher

      I'm assuming that it's not an episode of Paula Deen's cooking show?

  • Do as I say not as I download Anal Invaders 52.

  • coolhandnuke

    Like my grandpaps used to say " a House divided on porn will never stand erect."

  • poncho_pilot

    a porn on this subject is already in the making: SOPA Cabana Boys.

    • not that Dewey

      House Rule 34

      • Loaded_Pants

        Congressional porn tastes were so diverse it challenged Rule 34.

        • Rotundo_

          I used to think that Rule 34 was an absolute, but considering the levels of depravity that our elected officials have sunk to (and have been brought to light) the stuff that is still under the rocks must be something truly amazing. doG knows they will pioneer if there is any uncharted territory to be claimed.

  • Biff

    These Luddite fuckers should never have anything to do with any communications media more advanced than an IBM Selectric. I still want to chainsaw-rape the whole bloody lot of 'em for taking away my ability to receive network TV via satellite from both coasts.

    • MzNicky

      I'm just happy to know there's someone else in the house who remembers what an IBM Selectric is/was. Damn that thing was a tank.

      • Biff

        Heh. That was downright modern compared to my old Underwood.

        • MzNicky

          Honey, I'm so old that when I took "Typewriting I" in high school, whenever we used the eraser-stick with the brush on the other end, the instructor would swat our hands with a ruler. A few years later, armed with a BA in English, I managed to land a job as a legal secretary, and the Correcting IBM Selectric was a wonder to behold.

          • Biff

            Heh. I failed Typing in school. Not because I couldn't type, I was blazing fast with no corrections needed. No, I failed because I rearranged the keys to spell out naughty notes to the girl who used the machine the next period. Had to make it up in summer school, on a typewriter with blank keys. I flunked that class too, because I still looked at my fingers. 85 wpm, but I looked at my fingers. I realized my future didn't lie in academia.

  • memzilla

    Avast, me hearties! Captain Fapstaffer has reefed his sheets!

  • Once they Stop Online Piracy, they'll have no reason not to stop the other piracy we cope with every day. Jobs being pirated by companies to foreign factories. Money being pirated into off-shore accounts. Raises being pirated into the executive suite. Stop All Piracy (SAP) to end that drain on our economy.

  • I call bullshit. I mean, why download illegal porn when you can afford flying to Thailand?

    • Rotundo_

      Don't forget The D.R. ElRushbo likes to tee up on fresh cabana boy ass during those cold winter months.

    • Loaded_Pants

      At taxpayers' expense, no less.

    • For a good old American Gangland Cream Pie, that's why.

    • Numbat_Dundee

      Research

      • Loaded_Pants

        "Strengthening international relations"?

  • People in Congress don't download porn. They flight to Thailand instead.

  • I am glad you are still doing news. You are the only place on the world wide web internet to do so. All of the other places including the TeeVee are too busy eating canned hams and fruit cake between Christmas and New Years to look outside and see what kind of new things are going on.
    Between Football Games and crapping, they put on their bathrobes and shuffle to the computer and take old News and edited it into dumb, best and worst of the year top 10 lists. Sorry horrible plane crash, we are doing a feature article on the top 10 worst Red Carpet disasters of the year (Dear Lord what was Kirsten Dunst thinking?) and there is just no room for you.

    • Loaded_Pants

      But I NEED to know what the ten top cat videos of 2011 were!

      • Well this is the best Cat video of the year.
        These folks are from my town too.
        It will make you cry with happiness. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNpeTCEPrRk

        • Bluestatelibel

          Ah, so sweet. I vote we replace all members of Congress with cats. Of course, the first thing they'll do is legalize catnip, but that's OK.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Newt would like to help Oskar the blind kitten by cutting taxes on the Amalgamated Blind Kitten Rendering Plant.

    • V572 the Merciless

      This is a strategy the content farms learned from the journasaurs: "Top 10 ____ of 20xx" = "I get the week off." Win-win!

      • MzNicky

        Yep. They've already got it all done it up by Christmas Eve, even allowing for the usual downloading of porn and playing computer solitaire. I know because once upon a time I was a journasaur. Wait …

    • DaRooster

      You had me at "Between Football Games and crapping…"

      Awesomesauce!!

  • This could lower the reputation of Congress with the public.

    • AlterNewt

      Yes. This will be the day that America lost it's innocence. Again.

    • Loaded_Pants

      Or raise it.

    • Steverino247

      Yes, it's the Limbo Congress! How Low Can You Go!

      • V572 the Merciless

        Don't challenge them that way.

      • It's spelled "Limbaugh," Steve.

    • MzNicky

      Unpossible. They're already at like -.04 percent.

    • Negropolis

      Can we please Occupy Congress after we rest off all of the holiday calories? Pretty please? I've been needing an excuse to get back to DC.

  • Biff

    My mother used to make us sopa when I was a kid, sometimes even sopa seca if we were good.

    • Is she Peruvian? Did she make it with the fideos?

      • flamingpdog

        Hopefully she wasn't illegally downloading those fideos.

        • Oh, like Biff would rat out his Momz if she was.

          No, wait, WUT?

          • Biff

            After she ratted ME out for possession, a crime for which I was basically removed from home forevar (thankfully!) I'd have sold her out for anything, for revenge. Nevar forgive, nevar forgit.

          • Sorry, Biff (hugs teh Biff) forgot we were treading on unpleasant territory.

            Back to your regular programming.

            Hope you're managing to be reasonably seasonably happy nevertheless. Just remember, never let them win. Don't let the bastards get you down.

          • Biff

            I'm way over it, ancient history. My hatred of the holidays has nothing to do with that…

      • Biff

        No, lily-white and evil, but she could cook when not otherwise busied.

        • Well, SOME Peruvians are lily-white, right? No?

          In addition to all her many other faults, my mother was a terrible cook. Truly inspiringly terrible. We used to sneak her food to the dog, under the table. Poor fella would take it outside and carefully give it a respectful burial in the garden.

    • MzNicky

      Hey! We speak ENGLISH in this country, mister!

      • Biff

        Mea culpa My bad…

      • We do?

        • flamingpdog

          Why should I learn English? I have no plans to go to England.

      • Negropolis

        We speak American, here, bub. Oh, and copious amounts of Spanglish.

  • Barrelhse

    OT, but it looks like it's time for a slut-walk in Jerusalem.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Can we break down the porn by genre? I am guessing a lot of tentacle porn among the Repub caucus, as well as the obvious twink gangbanging and scat.

  • AlterNewt

    I'm sure it was staffers. BAD staffers. BAD!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Good thing they got rid of that Anthony Weiner guy.

  • memzilla

    What do you expect from people who work in a building with one tall bulbously-tipped structure flanked by two small chambers?

    • dennis1943

      The symbolism escaped me till now……………kinda like a "symbolic' gesture…..

  • I'm sure that somewhere in the million pages of this piece of crap, Congress is explicitly exempted from the law.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Congress needs a stern warning against this sort of thing.

    • poncho_pilot

      i just watched every season of this last week. up fist!

      • Loaded_Pants

        Right? 'Tis a shame there won't be anymore seasons. Loved that show.

        "Do you know that if you type 'Google' into Google, you'll break the Internet?"

        • poncho_pilot

          "oh! look at me! me legs don't work!"

          • Doktor Zoom

            i'm dis-abled…

      • HogeyeGrex

        Illegally downloaded, no doubt.

        • poncho_pilot

          i wouldn't shoot a policeman and then steal his helmet.

  • It's just like all the other SOPAs: K-Streets of Our Lives, As the Lobbyist Churns…

    • Barrelhse

      All Michele's Children

      As shots through a Boehner's glass, such are the days of our lies.

    • MzNicky

      "It's just like all the other SOPAs: K-Streets of Our Lives, As the Lobbyist Stomach Churns…"

      tx Carol Burnett

  • HarryButtle

    When your Congressman does it, he's an internet PRIVATEER.

    • Numbat_Dundee

      Privateers had Letters of Marque to license their predations. Do downloading congressmen have "Letters of Stain"?

    • flamingpdog

      If he's a Republican, he wants to privateerize everything!

  • hagajim

    Can our friends in Congress shoot a load for the zero approval rating?

  • What kind of name is "Gangland Cream Pie 21"? Or more importantly, will Bristol star in part 22?

    • Loaded_Pants

      I hear she's in talks with its producers…she's trying to negotiate for a fee equal to DWTS.

      • Barrelhse

        Ditzy Whores, Trollops, and Sluts?

    • Angry_Marmot

      From the director of "Bring 'Em Young University" and "Shaving Ryan's Privates".

    • Not_So_Much

      Only if she's paid in actual pie…pallets and pallets of it.

      • Looks to me like she's already consumed a few pallets of it. Check out those chunky gams!

    • flamingpdog

      Mmmm – Harvey's Bristol Cream Pie.

    • Rotundo_

      Given how far Snowgrifter's value has sunk of late, it will probably be a mother-daughter act, hopefully with a very well endowed African American co-star so they can run around the set flapping various body parts around howling "I can't believe I fucked a black guy" for comedic effect. Novelty comedy act porn is the only place either of them could get a gig at this point, they're at the 25 minute mark of their 15 minutes.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Lexington Steel's Alaska.

    • Loaded_Pants

      She'll give a knowing look to the camera that says "Look ma! Do you now see how much I hate you!"

    • chicken_thief

      Word is they asked Tawd first.

  • Callyson

    Maybe they thought SOPA stood for Seriously Obsessive Pornography Addict…

  • memzilla

    … HamBiscuits And Gravy, The Page Turner, Behind the Orange Door, Who Drank The Donkey Punch?, Hung Like an Elephant…

    • poncho_pilot

      Fill Her, Bust Her.

    • Loaded_Pants

      "Hung Like an Elephant"…is that some sort of sarcastic dig at the GOP?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Don't worry — every member of Congress who votes for it will denounce it when they run for re-election.

    • MzNicky

      They probably already have.

  • flamingpdog

    We had Gangland Cream Pie for dessert on Christmas.
    Or was it Boston Cream Pie?
    Or is there any difference?

    • Loaded_Pants

      Whitey Bulger says no.

  • rocktonsam

    do nothing congress will pass this before the New Years break.

  • Not_So_Much

    Is it safe to assume all 800 IP addresses from David Vitter's office and linked directly to naughty diaper porn?

  • flamingpdog

    If Congress outlaws downloading pirated content, then only contented outlaws will down loaded Congressional pirates.

  • When I called the congress a bunch of jerk-offs I didn't mean it literally.
    Sometimes I'm more right than I want to be.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Gangland Cream Pie???

    • Dashboard Buddha

      or at all.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Yeah, probably "at all." I wondered if it was a real porn site, and it is. No need to belabor the point because someone in some congressman's office already has downloaded it and is enjoying it as I write this. Happy evening, congressman.

  • owhatever

    I don't have time for jerking-off Congress critters because I am too busy planning an early start on next year's War on Christmas.

  • Baconzgood

    (In a rare after 5PM EST snark)

    OH C'MON IS EVERYTHING A CONSPIRACY GLENN BECK?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Someone downloaded, without express consent, the arguments from the July 13. 1995 mammography quality act and they shared it without knowing!!!!! Congress would NEVER do something against the law!!

  • V572 the Merciless

    Can the Torrent Freakers find out what Clarence is downloading over @ SCOTUS? He's the Highest Porn-Hound in the Land, after all, or at least so far as we know.

    • Loaded_Pants

      The reason he's been so quiet since he was appointed to the SCOTUS is he's always on his laptop googling "pubes on a Coke can." Also, googling the term "SCROTUS" to see what it brings up. He was less happy about those results.

    • Baconzgood

      Baconz will take that bet. By "Highest" what do we mean? Quality or quantity? Either way…I like my chances.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Were any of the ISP addresses from the National Rest. Association or Godfather's Pizza?

  • chascates

    Information wants to be free. I want to be free–of the tea party crowd.

  • arihaya

    now we need to find out which Congresscritters' IP that downloaded the most gigabytes of Gay porn

    Ms Lindsey perhaps?

    • chicken_thief

      One L Michele, for Marcus's ongoing research, of course?

  • Baconzgood

    "How will the insecure fappers in Congress SURVIVE if this dumb bill passes?"

    They same way they can insider trade….They exempt themselves in a closed door session…. I can see that M(r)s Johnson doesn't aspire to be a Congresswoman.

  • DaRooster

    "Although we don’t plan to go on forever trawling the archives…"

    "… only as long as it takes to get off."
    "But, we will be back tomorrow."

  • MzNicky

    Still, all in all, a smart swap.

  • Negropolis

    Let the mutiny begin.

    First, they came for the self-help e-books, and we were all like "haha, I don't read that shit." Then they came for the porn…and we fought tooth and nail to the very last sticky DVD.

  • poorgradstudent

    Come on, they know that hilarious acts of hypocrisy is the only reason they get a 9 percent approval rating in the first place.

  • ttommyunger

    Have no fear, I'm sure Darryl Issa will soon be initiating an investigation into this matter: FIXED.

  • DahBoner

    Congress has no Comfort Women?

    What about underaged pages?

    How can they get all those useless abortion bills out the door?

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