LA Councilman Dennis Zine got a list of people wishing to speak on the floor during Tuesday’s meeting that included mysterious individual “Mike Hunt.” Zine dutifully called on him with the best unsuspecting Principal Skinner deadpan that a prankster could wish for:

UPDATE: Crack tipster “Brian B.” who has “more knowledge than us about this” (above-zero) points out that “Mike Hunt” is in fact a real human who is also, ready for the insane part? an African-American man who gives speeches to the LA City Council dressed in a Klan uniform, for freedom, and other weird things. God bless Los Angeles.


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  • FNMA

    Is there a Mr. Jablome here? First name Heywood?

    • Arken

      I don't know if it is still, but for years, there was a listing for Jablowme, Heywood in the Bloomington, Indiana telephone book.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      My wife tells me she has to hurry off to a farm where they still plough with huge beasts of burden. She's become friendly with a couple of farmhands who are going to show her their gigantic ox.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Aw, little Bart Simpson, all growed up!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Did Mr. Zine then look for Amanda Huggankiss?

  • Barb

    How about Anna Bortion.

    • Or Barb Dwyer

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Have you met her friend, Anna Rexia?

      • hagajim

        Harry Balls?

  • littlebigdaddy

    Is there a Mr. Santorum in the house?

    • chicken_thief

      Santorum is too busy still fapping away at the thought of being trapped in a foxhole with that gay soldier. He's got no time for LA city council meetings.

  • SexySmurf

    Myke Hawke for President.

    "The middle part is your heavy lifter!"

  • Not_So_Much

    The only thing that could make this any better for me would be if he coughed out "Dodger suck!"

  • Come here a minute

    "I guess Mike Hunt will have to appear at the next meeting, so see you next Tuesday."

  • SoBeach

    Mr. Rection? Mr. Hugh G. Rection?

  • bodenste

    Good god, minds in the gutter! If only Mike Hunt did not exist the city of Los Angeles would be half a million dollars richer:

    Your fictitious joker (who happens to be black) showed up to a council meeting in a full Ku Klux Klan uniform and then refused to take it off. Ha! So, who knows what you'll see next Tuesday.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Mr. Coholic? Is there a Mr. Al Coholic here?

    • He's off in the corner, commiserating with Anita Cocktail.

    • Listen, you little rat, you keep that up I'm going to carve a bunch of ZZZs in your face, ya hear me?

      God, I love the Tube Bar tapes.

      • Gleem_McShineys

        Where's my fadda?

  • not that Dewey

    "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt"

  • mavenmaven

    Reminds me of that Greek girl I dated in med school, Melena Tenesmus.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Please stand for our next hymn–"In The Garden Of Eden," by I. Ron Butterfly….

  • joobajooba

    Amanda Huggenkiss?? I need Amada Huggenkiss.

  • prommie

    I graduated from college with a guy named Chuck Roast.

    • baconzgood

      On of the geeks at IT is named Chuck and every time I see him I say to him: 'sup Chuck.

    • justkillmenow

      I went to high school with Rusty Barns.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I graduated from middle and high school with a girl named Hrong Huey (Wrong Way when pronounced semi-correctly). And a kid named Dung (first name, btw – parents didn't know its English meaning when they came over from Cambodia, I'm guessing, or he'd probably have been renamed Sunny or some such bs).

  • prommie

    I'm looking for the Rhea sisters, Gona, Pia, and Dia. And their Italian cousin, Pizza.

  • Troglodeity

    Mr. Toris? Mr. Clint Toris?
    Mr. Whatarmi? Mr. Ewan Whatarmi?
    Mr. Balzac? Mr. Harry Balzac?
    Mr. Yerchok? Mr. Isaac Yerchok?

  • DaRooster

    Richard Long… it's great in gym class.

  • littlebigdaddy

    And don't forget Fort Wayne's own Harry Baals!

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    The Honorable Miss Ima Hogg?

  • Schmannnity

    Connie Lindquist, table for two.

  • Callyson

    Mike Hunt was not ready yet. Mike Hunt needed to warm up first.

  • I went to school with a guy named Buddha Fuckindouchebag.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Distant cousin of mine.

      • He was a pretty nice guy.

        • DashboardBuddha

          Agreed…but unfortunately hampered by a horrible last name. What folks didn't realize is that Fuckingdouchebag is a German/Hapsburg name that is pronounced Smith.

          • bagofmice

            That's what any smith / bhudda would say.

  • NPRadiotherapy┬«

    Harry Areola.

    • DaRooster

      Nancy Grace… is that ewe?

      • Schmannnity

        Wardrobe malfunction libel.

        • DaRooster

          not only ewe but… ewww.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Who's Dick Hurtz?

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Hey, wasn't Mike Hunt on Sea Hunt?

  • DaRooster

    Can you help me, Phillip McCrevice?
    How about you, Phil McKraken?

  • hagajim

    When Mike Hunt didn't answer, they called the next citizen, Cleo Toris.

  • baconzgood

    ….Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!

    • Hi, is this the Tube Bar?

    • prommie

      I'm gonna rip your eyes out and stuff them down your pants so you can watch me beat the crap out of you.

      • PalinzADummy

        My dad used to say things like that, only funnier. He couldn't bear to hit his children, so when my mother turned us in to him with a list of our sins, he would pull up his chair and start with the threats. "If you hit your sister again, I'm gonna hit you so hard — do you know how hard? THis is how hard — you see that blotch up on the moon, there. I'm gonna hit you so hard you fly arse over teakettle all the way up there, and that little dot over on the side? That's gonna be you." To my mother's great dismay, this would make us all laugh, which would make him laugh, and it always ended with, "Me, Dad! How hard are you gonna hit ME?"

        • DashboardBuddha

          That sounds way better than the "strap rack" we had at home.

          • PalinzADummy

            Well, yaknow, he used to tell us to scream really loud while he hit the pillow, and one day my Mom walked in while that was going on, and boy, was she pissed. "So! This is how you discipline the children!" she huffed. And ever after, she appointed herself chief High Disciplinarian and Child Beater, and life was never quite so fun again.

  • DashboardBuddha

    It's too bad Mike couldn't take the floor to speak. I hear he's a cunning linguist.

  • baconzgood

    Rick Sassol please come and be heard.

    • PalinzADummy

      Mr. Santorum is not available at this time.

  • Sue4466

    I'm experiencing an attack of the giggles suggesting I have the sense of humor of a 7 year old.


  • Is there a Sal Monella in the audience???

    How about Ben Dover or his wife Eileen???

  • poncho_pilot

    Mrs. Boyes? Mrs. Peg Ingmar Boyes?

  • MiniMencken

    What, no mention of Holden Megroin or I.P. Freely?

    • HateMachine

      I enjoyed I.P. Freely's memoir of his life on the Huang He, 'The Yellow River'

  • Next up: Slurp N. McCoozejuice.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Uh, hello? Is there a Dick Hirtz from Holden here? Dick Hirtz from Holden?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Can someone get Oliver Klozoff?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Don't forget the two famous major league baseball players: Peter LaCock (son of the tv star Peter Marshall) and Rusty Kuntz (old man Kuntz' kid).

    And, of course, Peter O'Toole.

  • Tundra Grifter

    From the classic National Lampoon High School Yearbook (which must have a couple of hundred of them): Rufus Leaking and Anita Handjob.

  • BZ1

    followed by Henry Marine, what next GI Joe?

  • PuglyDoRight

    Mr. Hymen? Mr. Buster Hymen? Mr. Guzzinia? Mr. Peter Guzzinia?

    Courtesy of National Lampoon's 1964 High School Yearbook Parody.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm look for a Mr. Ness…Has anyone seen a Harry P. Ness?

  • ttommyunger

    I am a low-life. These comments gave me my first out-loud laugh of the day (its 8pm). BTW, I was in school with one Johnny Fuquerfaster. Naturally, he later had his name changed – to Jimmy.

  • MiniMencken

    Well, as my old friend I.M. Wette used to observe, "I takes a big man to admit his name is Seymour Butz, but it takes a great man to marry a woman named Ophelia Cummin and agree to a hyphenated surname."

  • Negropolis

    Totally off subject, but Los Angeles has some awesome council chambers. My city's council chambers look like a conference room at a Ramada Inn.

    • mereoblivion

      You're lucky they only *look* like a conference room at a Ramada Inn.

  • Negropolis

    Hell, still a better name than Chad Ochocinco or Metta World Peace.

    Puttahr Alupinya?

    Will U. Putout?

  • I heard Connie Lingus took some Denniszine and married Mike Hunt.

  • Schmannnity

    After the meeting, they retired to the lobby for cookies and cider–world famous Dicken's Cider.

  • spinozasgod

    I keep waiting for Bart to call this one into Moe's……

  • HelmutNewton

    True story: one of my fellow HS graduates had his name misspelled "Brain Small" (aka Brian Small) in the yearbook.

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