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you're supposed to wear a red tie, not a blue oneJon Huntsman is in! For what? Who is he? Is he Tim Pawlenty 2.0 campaign reboot? No, he is the Chinese guy running for president. He’s not Chinese? He is Mormon. So he is Mitt Romney the Sequel? Huntsman formally declared his candidacy today in the liberal Mecca of New York City, because the socialist French statue is there, which makes a good GOP campaign announcement backdrop. Huntsman is Obama’s former ambassador to China, a job reference he may want to leave off his resume when he hands it to the Republican voters. “Chinese ambassador” sounds an awful lot like “Kenyan Muslim” if you have no idea where China or Kenya are on a map, which is a lot of Americans.

Huntsman also doesn’t seem to understand entirely what this whole “campaign” thing is about yet. He said nothing mean or blatantly false about Obama, which is the only policy platform the GOP candidates are currently allowed.

From AP:

Huntsman called the American economy “totally unacceptable” and took a gentle swipe at Obama’s 2008 campaign themes of hope and change, saying the country needs “leadership that knows we need more than hope, leadership that knows we need answers.”

Huntsman said he respects Obama but added that he and the president have “a difference of opinion on how to help the country we both love.”

Yes, “gentle swipes” are what presidential campaign politics are all about. That may be how China does government criticism, but you are in America now, Jon. His website, “Jon2012.com,” still has nothing on it besides a video replay of his campaign announcement and a sign-up form.

This is his brilliant campaign logo:

“H” is the best campaign slogan Jon Huntsman can afford, along with a skinny white font from the package of fonts that automatically come with Microsoft Word 2007. He is running for president of hipsters. Or Hilton hotels? Heroin? We do not know. We like Mittens better for president of Haiti, anyway. [AP/ Jon2012.com]

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  • nounverb911

    John, Is your family still selling weapons grade materials to Iran?

  • Barb

    I don't think the American people are going to forgive your family for selling polyurethane to Iran that could be used in solid fuel for Iranian missiles.

    • A Minwax missile? Freaky.

  • baconzgood

    Tee-Hee

    "Cuntsman"

    • horsedreamer_1

      This comment is "finger Liddy good".

  • DaRooster

    "He said nothing mean or blatantly false about Obama, which is the only policy platform the GOP candidates are currently allowed have."

    fixed.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Huntsman said he respects Obama but added that he and the president have “a difference of opinion on how to help the country we both love.”

    You're in the wrong party, dude. The teatards will eat you alive.

    • freakishlywrong

      My pee to you. I did not refresh in time. F5, fuckers!

    • GOPCrusher

      Until David Axlerod opened his mouth and heaped on the abuse for Jon Huntsman, now the teatards love him.

    • bloodandirony

      Bro, the Democratic Primary is over there.

  • hooray4anything

    From everything I read, Huntsman is relatively sane, somewhat moderate, and has signs of integrity. I don't think he'll even make it to Iowa.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      I hear he's also against endless wars, which just won't do*

      * republicans only pretend to hate war when the CiC is, you know, black

    • "From everything you read…"

      So this stuff will never be known by the TP'ers.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Huntsman is relatively sane, somewhat moderate, and has signs of integrity.
      As our Governor, he actually was all those things. I actually liked the guy.
      Republican Presidential campaigns have a habit of destroying all those values in short order, however.
      And by all accounts I've heard, he is about as Mormon as i am, which means Mom and Dad made us go to church, but after we became old enough to be stoners, we stopped going and were just to lazy to tell the church to fuck off.
      Also, not that his means anything, but my neighbor down the street is the Huntsman family driver/Guy Friday. He is also gay and a great nieghbor.

      • HuddledMass

        Okay, so, sane, competent, not judgmental of gays, courteous to his former boss, our President…. This guy is so doomed.

        • Native_of_SL_UT

          Obviously.
          But a guy can hope. I hope he has some success. Not because I want to see him as President, but because I want to see the the Teatards marginalized and some sanity return to the right. Yea, I know that sounds dumb.

        • Swampgas_Man

          The hell's he doing in the Republican tent?

      • HistoriCat

        So what you're saying is that Huntsman has already locked up the gay community vote in Utah?

    • Allmighty_Manos

      I'm pretty sure this is just a test run for 2016. After the GOP loses pretty much every state outside the Great Plains and deep south, he going to be jumping out of the shadows saying "I told you so."

      • snoopyfan2010

        How do you know the whole tea party thing isn't a trojan horse for making someone like him look good? You know, lower expectations so you can exceed them?

  • Callyson

    Well, the Iranian government will be pleased…
    Shortly after Jon Huntsman began his tour as President Barack Obama’s ambassador to China, an unwelcome letter from an anti-Iran nuclear watchdog group arrived at Huntsman Corp., the chemical company founded by his father.
    The bluntly worded missive singled out a Tehran-based subsidiary — purchased when Huntsman worked for the company — for selling polyurethane that could be used in solid fuel for Iranian missiles, among other things. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0611/57259.h

    • GOPCrusher

      It just proves that Jon Huntsman is pro-business!

      • horsedreamer_1

        He's a "jarb cre'tor".

  • nounverb911

    Needs more wives.

  • Nothingisamiss

    Boxers or briefs?

  • bureaucrap

    With the name "Huntsman", he's sure to get the NRA vote — that's half the republican nomination right there. Of course, with "man" at the end, some people might think he's Jewish, which would negate the NRA thing, natch.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Also, possibly, Mossad agent.

      Hey, we have ourselves a Manchurian (on Christmas) Candidate!

  • tihond

    Huntsman wants to win the most dangerous game.

  • Preferred Customer

    Hey, that's the H that's missing from his first name!

    Do we think that "King of Pain" is going to be his official campaign song?

  • horsedreamer_1

    Jon2012, not to be confused with Diaperman's John2012.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      And not to be confused with John 20:12 wherein our intrepid hero, Jebus, goes missing.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Huntsman said he respects Obama but added that he and the president have “a difference of opinion on how to help the country we both love.”

    He's utterly doomed. This will not end well.

  • mavenmaven

    Your headline from a few days ago is apt here: "Goodbye Anusburger, Hello Fecesburger!"

  • Can't find China on a map? It's in Walmart and the Christmas Tree Shop, right?

    True story: When I lived in Vermont and shopped at the Christmas Tree Shop, they'd make announcements on the P.A. "Mohammed to the front of the store please". The manager of the Christmas Tree Shop in Williston Vermont is named Mohammed. Is this a mixed up country, or what?

    • DustBowlBlues

      It's just the beauty of Capitalism and cheap labor.

    • zhubajie

      Check out Muhammed Cohen, Asia Times Online columnist.

  • edgydrifter

    The Mormchurian Candidate

  • DaRooster

    "He is running for president of hipsters. Or Hilton hotels? Heroin? We do not know."

    I'll take Heroin for $200 Alex…

    … thanks… it should help my state of mind.

    • mumbly_joe

      It's not as though any of those things are mutually exclusive, really.

      Though I suppose in fairness we should clarify that hipsters tend to be more about the coke, because of the "80's nostalgia" factor, and weed, because they *are* still overprivileged white kids, after all.

  • Huntsman 2012!

    He's pretty fly (for a white guy).
    ~

  • BlueStateLibel

    WHERE IS THE FLAG PIN?!?

  • Jon2012! Stewart?

    Bachmann, Gingrich, Santorum … I'm beginning to see why the Mayan's predicted 2012 will be the end of the world.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And, Kirsten, that isn't a French Socialist statue, that is the Freedom Statue, celebrating our freedom to keep brown people out of this country.

    • Correct! We only let green people in. Tall green people. Tall green women. Everyone else, take a hike.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Which is why Captain Kirk is our National Hero. Ask any FOX News viewer. The way he rode through the galaxy shooting his gun and ringing bells…..

        • flamingpdog

          … and blowing up the atomic Mooselimb from Pakistan. KAHHHHHHHN!!!

        • Negropolis

          Kirk is so Canadian, he's American!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, all Mormons look alike to you, eh? Well, I'll have you know that — um — some of them are taller than others.

    • kissawookiee

      That's why Peruvians refer to young Mormon guys on their missions as "huevos." They come in pairs, and one is always bigger than the other.

    • Mumbletypeg

      And some are better tippers. In fact, some Mormons never met a tron they didn't like.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I wonder how he will look in Michele Bachmann's version of the Norquist Rinoskin jacket. Also, does he own a tie that isn't dark blue? The sky is blue, and it has rainbows. GLAAD has rainbows, too.

    AND THEREZ NO FLAG PIN ON HIS LAPEL SO HEZ MUZLINISH. Allah Akbar, but not Jeff.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Why does the GOP get all the hott guys? Rich Perry (I meant RicK – with a K as in dicK – teehee), Mittens, and now Huntsman? Life is so unfair.

    Anyhoo, who is this guy?

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, we've got Obamer. And we have Weiner. Or had.

      • horsedreamer_1

        But no other Republican, nor any Democrat, not even John Edwards, can approach the splendour… of John Ensign's hair.

        We lost a great head of hair, this year.

    • genxr

      Picture Newt in his boxers tighty-whiteys. Problem solved.

  • PsycWench

    If the Republican nomination were based on hair instead of vitriol, he'd have a shot.

    • hooray4anything

      Until Rick Perry enters the race and then it's all over.

    • flamingpdog

      Mebbe he can use Vitriolis™ in his hair.

    • Negropolis

      That's the great thing about GOP politics. It's based on BOTH.

  • Nothingisamiss

    My second thought here is, could be an "Anybody but Romney" come from behind dark horse.

    • I'd say Santorum has the come from behind thing wrapped up.

  • ThundercatHo

    Campaign slogan: "Without chemicals, life without war would be impossible."

  • freakishlywrong

    Or the awful 'W". of 2004..I can still see that terrifying thing…

    • horsedreamer_1

      Or, none-too-subtle marketing for the Huntsman family's move into publishing, namely lad mags, & the acquisition of Argentine glossy H… para hombres.

  • Papa_Uniform

    At least he's not insane like the rest of the Repugs. Well, except for that Mormon thing.

  • DaRooster

    Bristol? Is that you?

    (I know… NO!)

    • horsedreamer_1

      No, I think Baconz has just outed himself as a fratastic lax broheim from Univ. of Virginia.

      Wahoo!

      • baconzgood

        UVA? It's a nice school…..FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!

        EDIT: I shouldn't say that it is a good school. This is the 2nd time I mentioned my education today. I dissed Troll about it so I'm feeling a certain pride for my alma mater….either that or my underware is binding up on me.

        • flamingpdog

          "UVA: It's Been All Downhill Since Jefferson."

  • carlgt1

    what's with all these Mormon assholes entering the US political arena and getting all uppity etc….

  • gullywompr

    Just like a Morman – brings "gentle swipes" to a "shove down throats" fight.

    • Negropolis

      Come on; this has got to be the comment of the day.

  • Oblios_Cap

    He's been described as Pawlenty without the charisma. That's all you need to know.

  • Come here a minute

    Looks like department store brand casual menswear.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Hubert H. Humfrey used "H's" in his campaign literature, and he's dead. Like Huntsman's GOP campaign. Apt, said the animadvert.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The real fun is going to be when Glenn Beck denounces him as an apostate.

    • GOPCrusher

      I wonder how long it will take until Michele Bachmann, in a debate, proclaims to the world that Mittens and Huntsman are members of a Satanic Cult?

    • Negropolis

      I reading about the guy, today, and apparently he's talked about how he's incorporated other faiths into his life, and the little girl he adopted from Indian is being raised in the Hindu faith. This guy is more religiously ambiguous than most Dems; how the hell he thinks this is going to play well in a GOP primary is beyond me. He's a bit too unconventional.

      • guangho

        All he needs is a Rastafarian running mate with an adopted daughter from China.

        • Negropolis

          I think he's got one one-a'nem too; an adopted Chinese daughter, that is. He's like a regular Angelina Jolie, except that he's not a douchebag.

  • DaSandman

    That "H" looks demonic. Or some sort of Sharia reference. Or some unholy shoutout to his Iranian paymasters.

    • prommie

      Hezbollah?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Hussein?

  • Huntsman has as much chance of being nominated by the Teabag infested GOP as Obama has of being elected Grand Exalted Cyclops of the Secret Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

    • kissawookiee

      Which is such a pity, because "H" was clearly made for Hoveround.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Klan has softened on its anti-Catholic, anti-Jewish, anti-black foundations in the last ten years, with non-Jewish Semites, other browns (Mohammedans & Messicans), becoming the recipients of their hate. So, maybe, at least, the white half of Barack could join a Klavern?

      • GOPCrusher

        And the Klan did find it necessary to issue a statement denying any relationship to the Tea Bagger Party.

  • DustBowlBlues

    And g**dammit. I just noticed the old man used up most of our download allowance for this 24 hour period (living in bucolic nature, yes, we have limited internet choices). He also erased history, which means only one thing: Porn on the internet surfing.

    Huntsman with the H, by the way, sounds like an Eddie Bauer knock off line of clothes. Or maybe LL Bean.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Exactly. This fact makes Huntsman the true heir to the Reagan Legacy.

    Suck on that, blood (Ron Reagan, Jr.) & mammon (Geo. W. Bush).

  • baconzgood

    I love how they want a balanced budget amendment before the even attempt to balance the budget. Like the amendment will just go "poof" the budget is balenced. Look at Ree-gan. The budget went in the shit hole while he was pushing a balanced budget amendment. Fuckin' douche bags.

  • bureaucrap

    yes.

    • meufchelou

      Makes more sense now–he's safe with Christie. GOP candidates cannot touch democratically governed state soil or they will dissolve into ashes with ear-piercing screams.

  • hagajim

    What planet does this guy live on? A Repug that is as moderate as him is about as endangered as the fishes in the ocean. He'll get teatarded to death before the first primary. Stick a fork in him, he's done.

  • fuflans

    doesn't he also believe in climate change and support some kind of dignity for the gays?

    this should go well.

  • Geminisunmars

    Wha – that librul?

  • DustBowlBlues

    OT–Is Layne completely gone now? Shouldn't we have thrown him a going away party?

    • LiveToServeYa

      I suppose we could've passed the hat for a prescription of Zoloft or a fifth of something or a subscription to Oprah magazine or something.

    • flamingpdog

      Gonna miss his avatar – scariest thing on Wonkette!

      Well, OK, after Palin, Bachmann, Huckabee, Rick Perry, Christie, Wanker, the I'm not a witch lady, Miss South Carolina Jr. Miss ….

  • ThundercatHo

    What's with these Mormans running for national office? Isn't there a treaty in place that gives them Utah in exchange for leaving the rest of us alone? I don't mind seeing the teenage boys riding around on their bikes so much cuz you never know when you might need somebody to show you how to work one of your remotes but this is getting ridiculous. If we let the Mormans in politics pretty soon it will be the Scientologists. Next thing you know Tom fucking Cruise is going to be governor of California and then the White House.

  • hooray4anything

    He's trying to make up for support of gay rights and belief in Global Warming by trying to embrace the crazy as fast as he can. Look for him to start uttering the words "founding fathers," "socialism," and "sharia law" as fast as he can.

  • horsedreamer_1

    He's groverling to try to be taken seriously…

  • CapeClod

    Bringing civility to the Republican primary? Isn't that like bring Robert's Rules of Order to a spice orgy?

  • Fox n Fiends

    Swearingen only used knives, not guns. #deadwoodgeek

  • flamingpdog

    Hoo's on first.
    But W was born on third base, and thought he had hit a triple. (RIP, Mollie)

  • LiveToServeYa

    Nice hair. Rugged good looks. Pregnant mistress supported by campaign donations in 3..2..1. Wait, a Mormon. Make that nth wife.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I couldn't limit my reaction to just one reaction, so in the spirit of David Letterman (back when he was funny), here are my Top Ten 5 Responses to This Post:
    5) Finally the candidate Chris Matthews has been waiting for !
    4) Is he grabbing Lady Liberty's ass in that pic?
    3) H? T!
    2) Where's the marriage certificate???
    And number one…
    MITTS OR GTFO!!!

  • Mahousu

    Hey, "H," 你爱的国家是什么?中国?伊朗?肯尼亚?当然不是美国。

    There, I've baited the trap. If he answers it, he'll reveal he's not ignorant, and hence not a true 100% USAmerican. If he doesn't answer it, he'll be admitting he hates this country. Well, by the standards these things usually seem to be judged by, at least.

  • owhatever

    Jon! Get out of the road! Here's comes Sarah's bus … and it ain't slowing…OHMYGOD…

    • Negropolis

      Sarah would roll her tacky bus through two blocks full of day cares if there was a camera on the other side.

  • Was his logo designed by Tommy Hilfiger?

    • glamourdammerung

      Or Hugo Boss?

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    Lil' H is his gangsta name.

  • El Pinche

    zzZzZz zzZzZz zzZzZz zzZzZz

    • horsedreamer_1

      That's my favourite Crash Test Dummies remix.

  • GOPCrusher

    Huntsman has already announced that he will not participate in the Iowa Caucuses because he is against ethanol subsidies. But he is in favor of continuing tax "incentives" to Big Oil.

  • prommie

    Liberals have only one Mecca, and that is Mecca, of course.

    Plus too, also, that motherfucker is in New Jersey. I know when a motherfucker is in New Jersey, and in that photo, he is one "being in New Jersey" motherfucker. Noone likes to admit they are in New Jersey, its like having herpes, or something.

  • GOPCrusher

    I get nervous when I see one of them get on a plane.

  • GOPCrusher

    I can see it only getting worse. We are talking about the same people that, on getting blown out of the water during both the 2006 and 2008 elections, blamed it on the fact that they weren't nuts enough.

    • qwerty42

      Yeah, it ain't just a river in Egypt. But seeing a major political party reduced to a cult-like operation, in which they repeatedly mouth sayings, aphorisms, bromides and lies then call it their "philosophy", ignore folks on their own side who actually have a clue and push for kooky, destructive "solutions" to tangential problems and will, in all likelihood be returned to power one day, is kinda sad.

  • orygoon

    NOT ENUFF HATEZ!

  • Sorry, I can't vote for anyone with kerning that bad. Poor kerning is a sure sign of poor judgment.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Newt in the lime green Borat-model mankini is how the former Speaker rolls.

  • SenileAgitation

    I suspect he'll do better than some think. Teabags might get attention, but there simply aren't that many of them. If nothing else, I appreciate his attempt to project decency and and engaging in contrasting ideas rather than the usual "I'm lighter than the light-skinned black man" bit. Plus that hair brings back memories of John "Pokey" Anderson.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Those were hard times, weren't they? Waiting for the end of the world and/or the end of wonkette and torn about which would be worse.

    Enjoyed the bonding, in a lifeboat from the Titanic kind of way.

  • Son of Oil Baron/Folksy Pizza Man 2012!

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    the red/blue party is in pure chaos
    they can't find anyone that will beat Dr Ron
    so they keep rolling out new puppets every few days

  • ttommyunger

    “Double your crazy, double your fun, put two nuts in power instead of just one.”

  • rocktonsam

    if the the republican field gets any funnier, SNL can just take 2012 off

    Stewart, don't you dare

  • Negropolis

    Honestly, bless his heart. I wouldn't vote for him in any role – and regardless of how he's being portrayed, he's a tried-and-true conservative – but he seems to be a genuinely decent human being, and that alone disqualifies him from winning a modern GOP primary.

    How dumb does this guy have to be to take any job from the president and then think he can strangely parlay that into a plus in running for a job from the opposite party? He either should have just declined the ambassadorship, or refused to run for president. You can't do both, Jon.

  • Negropolis

    What does a Mormon look like?

  • OkieDokieDog

    Believe me, it grossed me out too thinking about anything near, covering, or touching Newt's man parts.

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