This magazine is due for a redesign!The short, meteoric rise of some drunken loser flunk-out has come to an end, despite his dad being a wealthy GOP construction-industry lobbyist who demanded Scott Walker’s new administration hire up all the rich white Republican drunken loser flunk-out kids at $81,500 annual salaries. Brian Deschane, 27, was given the sweet job because his daddy gave Scott Walker $121,000 to run for governor. But then the mean old liberal newspaper wrote about young Deschane and his two DUI convictions that not even his daddy could make go away with a check to the judge, and then the socialists all started blogging it, and then Deschane got a demotion back to his previous sweet job, making $64,728 a year, also for nothing more than being the unemployable result of one of Scott Walker’s corporate donors ejaculating into a woman’s vagina some 28 years ago.

And now, the adult-child has “resigned” from this job, probably because the Wisconsin Builders Association has had just about all the terrible publicity they’re willing to take from the slacker son of a guy hired to advance their interests, not turn their dumb corporate newsletter into a punchline on Wonkette.

The Journal Sentinel reports on this controversy that is all the fault of a dirty Milwaukee newspaper for people who don’t share the values of the minority of Wisconsin voters who don’t live in the state’s population centers:

The 27-year-old son of a prominent supporter of Gov. Scott Walker resigned from his state government job following public criticism over his appointment to an $81,500-per-year job in the Walker administration, sources said Thursday. Brian Deschane submitted his resignation letter to officials at the state Department of Commerce, where he had been named administrator of environmental and regulatory matters in February.

It is not clear why Deschane chose to resign rather than accept the demotion. A directory of Department of Regulation and Licensing employees shows that Secretary Dave Ross filled Deschane’s post after he left.

And that’s the last we’ll hear of Brian Deschane … until he reaches age 30 and is eligible to run for the U.S. Senate. [Journal Sentinel]

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  • Quitter.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Who does that kid think he is, the Governor of Alaska?

      • widestanceroman

        Did he quit quit, or just change his priorities like Palin (per McCain)?

        • tessiee

          He quit so he could spend less time with his family.

    • x111e7thst

      A lucrative career awaits – either on Faux Newz or on that dancing thing on the TV set.

    • GOPCrusher

      Sounds like toilet rats jumping off a sinking ship.

  • Tundra Grifter

    So The Lucky Sperm Club lost a charter member?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Squirrel headed son of a bitch still makes more than I do as a union thug/socialist bully.

      • tessiee

        "Squirrel headed son of a bitch"

        This? Poetry, sheer poetry.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Yes…it's a sad day for nominally unemployable, functionally illiterate offspring of extreme overprivilege everywhere. Just when they felt like to coast was clear after the latest one managed to somehow become President of all white inbred rednecks/corporate buttpluggers and his essential incompetence ruined the world…but alas, the socialists, they do not forget and so now we must avail ourselves upon such greivous loss to humanity and the world…tither it twould be lacrimous were this man-child, this two-legged walrus bereft of his divine birth-right to ruin the world, but alas young man! ye ith but 27, time doth remain! Gather thine strength and volumnous fat…hope remains. (Next up for fatty…date rape convinction)

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Sadly, I'm sure this is only the tip of the iceberg in just one state. Republicans are fighting for smaller government all over the country by populating government with lackeys that will ensure that government doesn't work at all.

    • Swampgas_Man

      If you can't starve the beast, sodomize it to death.

      • poncho_pilot

        sounds like a Judas Priest album title.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Rob Halford: [comes]

    • finallyhappy

      Today, we heard the GOP wants government just small enough to look into your bedroom and your uterus.

    • LeAlbatross

      That's how aristocracy works: nepotism and contempt for the governed. The GOP has been aiming for that for years. Goodness knows they have the second part down cold.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    And the unemployment numbers go up yet again. This is all Obama's fault!

  • memzilla

    Sunlight is the strongest disinfectant. The Journal-Sentinel is Janitor In A Drum. Which might be Deschane's next job, appropriately enough.

    • Angry_Marmot

      "Next week, it's your turn in the barrel."

    • Rotundo_

      First of all, The Journal-Sentinel is *not* a liberal paper. It caters to the nice suburban folks *around* Milwaukee. There are some real journalists there, but the editorial board is cut from the same cloth as Scooter. The fact that *they* took note of the cronyism is mute testimony of how bad it is. As for the kid, he is "falling downward to his SIXTY THOUSAND AND CHANGE former job which he wasn't qualified for either. So no one really got more than embarrassed here. But that much was as good as it gets 'til next year.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        When I lived in Wisconsin (which stopped being the case some forty years ago), the evening Journal was pretty well-rounded and sorta left -leaning (at the time; more like really left-leaning these days). The morning Sentinel was much thinner journalistically, and also much more conservative.

        Did the smaller 2nd rate paper eated the larger better paper, or what?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Journal Communications bought the Sentinel from Hearst — that ownership of the former morning daily explaining the retrograde neo-conservatism — several decades ago, & over time the two papers coalesced into one shitastic melange of Liebermannia.

  • crybabyboehner

    Where is his birf certificate?

  • neiltheblaze

    This is giving cynical pay-back cronyism a black eye.

  • Chillwaver

    "Beam me up, Scottie"

  • Dad looks like he's been spending too much time trying to get Boner's orange glow. Speaking of Boner, should we be sending the Speaker some hankies as this event will likely start his fountain just before his teatarded frosh tell him to stuff any budget compromise right up hiz ass.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Fucking quitter. Maybe he should apply for the position of Todd's wife.

  • freakishlywrong

    His co-workers would have made his life a living hell, I know I would have.

    • tessiee

      Can't you still?

  • Chillwaver

    I could've sworn it was Gene Hackman for a sec…

    • DaRooster

      Randy Quaid…

    • Popeye Doyle wouldn't put up with a dumbshit like Walker.

  • I'll take the job!

    Even the $64,728 a year one!

    Willing and happy to relocate to WI. Where do I sign?

    • Giveusabob

      There's a minimum requirement on DUIs for this position. Are you sure you're WI Department of Commerce material, punk?

      • Giveusabob

        Hurray! I got a downfister! (P.S. To clear any confusion, I was including myself in the salutation "Punk," too. It's on my business card even.)

        • GOPCrusher

          ANARCHY IN THE U.S.A.

  • Hatrabbit

    "One of Scott Walker’s corporate donor’s ejaculating into a woman’s vagina some 28 years ago." … with his eyes!

  • Can we find a yentl to match him up with Bristol? Brian & Bristol haz to be a match made in heavin'.

  • prommie

    He could go to work for a non-profit as "Ambassador" of an anti-drunk driving campaign, starting salary for that gig is way better, almost twice what he made at the higher-paying job. I heard the going rate is $162,000.00 a year.

    • OneDollarJuana

      AND you get a nice house in the Phoenix suburbs1

  • Hatrabbit

    Tough break Kid.

    But I'm sure you can pull yourself up by your Daddy's bootstraps.

    • SorosBot

      What does the spawn of a wealthy oligarch have to do to get a job despite lacking qualifications? Now all he has is probably a measly little multimillion dollar trust fund.

  • samsuncle

    His future plans include knocking up some poor girl and then being a paid spokeman for an abstinence group.

  • GeneralLerong

    He's got a gig on Dancing With the Stars, also a line on a sweet tract home in Arizona.

  • DownFist Troll

    Hey, i'm in my late 20s, and i'm frequently drunk, can i have this job? Sure, i've never been convicted of anything, and my dad isn't a lobbyist. But i'm willing to learn and pretend that there's nothing wrong with nepotism and that Austrian school economics work.

  • Lucidamente1

    "Deschane": isn't that French for "jackhole?"

  • SorosBot

    He's not resigning in disgrace, he's just leaving his position so he can have more time to spend embarrassing his family.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I'm sure there's a local FOX channel that needs a drunken ne're-do-well to report on local stuff like maybe where the cops are going to be having a drunk driver check-point.

    Edit to add left out word. I'm not drunk, I'm just giddy from all this (hilarious) drama.

  • politics_nerd

    pretty sure its Pawlenty

  • The moral of this story: Unqualified at any salary.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It is not clear why Deschane chose to resign rather than accept the demotion.

    Really, showing a modicum of personal shame is a level of integrity the teabaggers were supposed to have transcended. Obviously Mr. Deschane was some sort of liberal Muslim plant.

    • horsedreamer_1

      liberal Muslin plant


  • memzilla

    MJ-S: "But [Deschane's] father said he doesn't believe his group's financial support of [Scott Walker} led to his son's state job or promotion…"

    Tone-deaf, arrogant, self-entitled crony b**tards pwned by librul big-city newspaper that probably doesn't even have a pork belly prices column.

  • PocketsTheClown

    That guy was exponentially stimulating the economy, guys, seriously. Car repair, attorney fees, booze, petroleum products. It was trickling down! Hold on! DUBBLEDIP

  • Come here a minute

    Let's make a deal — the kid stays and Walker resigns.

  • CrunchyKnee

    There's always white conservative rap to consider.

  • Steverino247

    "…one of Scott Walker’s corporate donor’s ejaculating into a woman’s vagina some 28 years ago…"

    You say that like it's a bad thing.

    • freakishlywrong

      It's more of gross thing.

  • JoshuaNorton

    That guy standing next to Walker is only 27? That must been one helluva bender leading up to that DUI.

    • tessiee

      WHAT?? 27? I missed that part. If he's not every minute of 50, he either lives on Three Mile Island, or there's a portrait in his attic that looks *really good*.

  • chascates

    Once he finds Jesus the kid can start running for public office.

  • fartknocker

    Maybe Brian can make a rap video like the two young, hip Teatards at Dartmouth. I hope his golden parachute is bigger than the little umbrella I get with my Pina Colada at TGIMcFunsters.

    On a completely different note, Scott Walker is really having a shitty week.

  • widestanceroman

    Resignation letters written on cocktail napkins must be notarized before submission.

  • Troubledog

    Which is sadder? Another half-term unemployed quitter bureaucrat with troubling ethical complications? Or the fact that I had that in the pool?

    • GOPCrusher

      Are you M. Night Shamalammadingdong, because I did not see that twist coming that you threw in at the end of that post.

      • Troubledog

        I read in New York magazine where the ironically self-deprecating non sequitur is the next big thing. All the cool kids are doing it.

        • GOPCrusher

          So it's like drinking PBR?

  • Either that or their septic system is backing up.

  • baconzgood

    I guess it looked kinda bad. Slashing Unions then giving a donor’s son a sweet job where all he has to do is scratch his ass and show up sober between 8am and 11am.

    • SorosBot

      He may have had some trouble with that last part.

  • Lucidamente1

    He's not resigning, he's transitioning off.

    • tessiee


  • MistaEko

    Brian Deschane
    Born on a Fridee
    Flunked out Saturdee
    Drunk on Sundee
    Coattailed Mondee
    Liability on Tuesdee
    Demoted on Wednesdee
    Resigned on Thursdee
    And that was the end of Brian Deschane

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I wouldn't want to be on the streets of Madison tonight.

  • poncho_pilot

    new favorite for today!!! hahahaha.

  • SmutBoffin

    Jesus, would I sound like a dork if I said that this WI stuff is way more exciting than that sport with the balls where they throw and catch the balls and also there is a basket?

    • Cicada

      Scrotum Toss? I love that game!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Look at it this way, he is now as qualified as GW Bush to be President of the United States.

  • Trannysurprise

    Sounds like he's a good candidate for the Sarah Palin School of Government.

  • Let's save some more money and call off the suicide watch.

  • FraAnima

    Ha ha, loser. Another DUI tonight, I bet.

  • DaRooster

    "It is not clear why Deschane chose to resign rather than accept the demotion…"

    Everyone knows that is how spoiled brat spawn react when things don't go their way… even though I am sure it was due to his own incompetence… you would NEVER get them to admit that though.

  • widestanceroman

    If Walker is so damn fond of this kid, why doesn't he just hire him as a chauffeur?

  • Jerri

    He didn't resign out of shame. He resigned so he could spend more time at home with his booze.

    (Also: "Liberal"Journal Sentinel. Good one, Ken).

    • Hahahahah. Everything's "liberal" when you're a crook on the run.

      • horsedreamer_1

        What I love is that goons like Pudding-Ring Mc Ilheran — Christian name: Patrick (obviously, a filthy, 'tater munching Irishman Papist intent on bringing down America) — & Charlie Sykes who write for the Journal-Sentinel &/or work for its radio arm (WTMJ-AM) propagate the lie of the JS's unrelenting socialism.

      • Jerri

        Well that's true. Still, it's a funny thought all the same.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Oh shit, hide the meth.

  • fuflans

    i actually feel kind of sorry for the kid…

    oh, wait, no, no i don't at all.

  • AJW@[redacted]

    No doubt a sweet severence package, though.

  • whiterabid

    Two DUI's? What's the big deal? I thought that was about average for cheeseheads.

  • GOPCrusher

    Scott Walker should probably get used to this. For the remaining nine months of his political career, everyone will be watching everything he does.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    I so love that this is defining T-Paw's race.

  • owhatever

    Great excuse to go out and get drunk.

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    But does he have the necessary vomiting skills?

  • Angry_Marmot

    If he'd gotten the pictures, he'd have been set for life.

  • MinAgain

    Danka schoen, DuSchane. You were fun while you lasted.

  • Rotundo_

    The first requirement of being a commentator is to show up in shape to comment with regularity. With a couple DUI citations, Fox had better line up a strong bunch of stand in hosts to cover for Drunky McToobafor Junior's antics.

  • Rotundo_

    If you are willing to leave your good paying job (chuckles knowing those have been shipped off to the south for half pay or China for less) to join McDonalds for 39 hour weeks so you can't get insurance, yup. Unless you're over the magic age of 40 years in which case if you're unemployed your best option usually involves firing a bullet in your head. There is a pretty brisk business being done by funeral service providers for low cost final care these days. One epidemic that the news folks who are cheering the teabaggers on don't really report about much.

  • lulzmonger

    He did the right thing = RINO!

  • horsedreamer_1

    He'll be making 100k at the Heritage Foundation within six weeks, so don't cry for Brian.

  • tessiee

    OK, I don't drink…
    How about we compromise, and I get a job as a do-nothing loser fuckup, but for only $50K a year? Then everybody's happy, right?

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